How to help a teenager overcome computer addiction?

Computer game addiction is an obsessive passion for games, which is regarded as a form of psychological addiction and manifests itself in children, adolescents and adults.

Computer addiction is a form of addiction. That is, when a person seeks to escape reality, deliberately changing his mental state and plunging into an illusory world.

Due to loss of control over gaming and spending a lot of time on games, computer addiction was included in the International Classification of Diseases in 2022. The entry into force of the document is scheduled for January 2022.

What is Internet addiction

It’s hard to imagine modern life without computers, smartphones and the Internet.
We communicate in instant messengers and social networks, find out news on websites, and even children receive school grades in electronic diaries. Many professions are related to computers, from programmers to accountants. Even computer games can become a serious activity. Since 2001, eSports in our country has been recognized as an official sport, and in the United States, the first eSports tournaments appeared even earlier. And the question arises: how to draw the line beyond which e-sports and a healthy passion for technology turn into computer addiction among teenagers.

American neuroscientists conducted a study on the problem of gaming addiction and found that the desire to play computer games activates the same areas of the brain that are responsible for cravings for drugs and gambling. All these addictions are somewhat similar, although gaming does not destroy health as much as drug addiction.

To build a healthy relationship with gadgets in a child and stop worrying, from psychologist Larisa Surkova. Inside are digital hygiene rules and expert advice for parents.

Introduction

The state of the Internet addiction problem today is controversial. The question often arises: is it possible to talk about such a phenomenon within the framework of clinical categories? Is Internet addiction an independent phenomenon, or is it a form of implementation of already known forms of addiction, for example gambling [3; 21; 24].

The term “Internet addiction” itself was introduced by New York psychiatrist Ivan Goldberg (1996) to describe a pathological, irresistible craving for Internet use. By Internet addiction, he understood a behavioral disorder resulting from the use of the Internet and computer, which has a detrimental effect on the everyday, educational, social, work, family, financial or psychological spheres of human activity.

Domestic researchers of Internet addiction [5] propose to consider Internet addiction in three options:

1. pathological passion for the Internet as one of the forms of addictive behavior, understood as a disorder within the framework of deviant behavior (relevant for adolescents);
2. Internet addiction syndrome, which hides many other personality and/or mental disorders that have a certain nosological affiliation;
3. Internet addiction as an independent nosological unit, caused by the mutual pathogenic influence of characterological traits and the Internet environment, which has a certain dynamics (processuality) of psychopathological disorders.

Many researchers (Korolenko V.Ts., Malygin V.L., Voiskunsky A.E., Loskutova V.A., Kulakov S.A. and others) note that Internet addiction most often manifests itself at a young age - in the environment teenagers and young men, which complicates their socialization and hinders their ability to make a career and start a family [4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9].

According to a comprehensive study of the media preferences of young people in Russian cities with a population of over a million [1], conducted by the Modern Media Institute (MOMRI) in December 2015 - January 20161, every second young man and every fifth girl aged 14-25 plays computer games. On average, 39% of young people in the 14-25 age group play computer games. Note that the older the respondents, the less often they play. The peak interest in gaming occurs among teenagers aged 14–17—55% of those play at this age. Young people, starting from 18 years old, play 30% less.

Young people aged 14-25 prefer to play online more than offline - 41% and 17%, respectively.

According to the study:

• 90% of girls and 85% of boys have their own smartphone;
• 63% of girls and 48% of boys use a smartphone more than 3 hours a day;
• 54% of girls and 40% of boys have their own tablet;
• 92% of girls and 86% of boys use the mobile Internet;
• 72% of girls and 60% of boys communicate via instant messengers on smartphones;
• 32% of girls and 42% of boys play computer games every day.

Generally accepted criteria for addictive behavior, which are quite relevant for qualifying Internet addiction [8; 12]:

• abuse of a certain type of activity;
• impossibility of subjective control over activities;
• the presence of maladaptation due to abuse of activities that affect study, work, and interpersonal relationships;
• increasing tolerance to the amount of time spent on activities;
• withdrawal state: the appearance of psychological discomfort (irritability, decreased mood, depression, increased aggressiveness, etc.);
• objective overabsorption in activity, crowding out other aspects of social life.

However, Internet addiction differs qualitatively from other forms of non-chemical addictions in that it accesses the limitless possibilities of the virtual world.

There are a number of features of the Internet as a potential addictive agent [7]:

• the possibility of numerous anonymous social interactions;
• virtual realization of fantasies and desires with feedback;
• finding the desired “interlocutors” who satisfy any requirements;
• the ability to establish contact and interrupt it at any time;
• unlimited access to information, various types of entertainment, and games.

The virtual world is dynamic, in it you can realize your hidden desires, control the situation, overcome difficulties, feel like a hero, and experience the whole range of emotions. In this case, two-way connections and interaction are formed, which creates the illusion of communication with the real world. At the same time, the real world is perceived as uninteresting, boring, and often hostile. Emotions, interests, cognitive sphere, energy and value system focus on the virtual world. An internal psychological space is formed, which extends its influence to the assessment of external events. Connections with reality weaken. With none of the other addictions is such integration of mental functions achieved as with Internet addiction. Inadequate conviction in one’s invulnerability, overprotection, overestimation of one’s intellectual, volitional, physical and other capabilities make a dependent person helpless in contacts with reality [7; 17; 18].

The risk of developing Internet addictive behavior has recently been considered within the framework of a multifactorial biopsychosocial model of the dynamic interaction of biological, psychological and social factors [5].

Many researchers consider family to be one of the main sources of addiction development. Most of the research is devoted to chemical dependence: a number of researchers (G.V. Morozov, N.N. Bogolepov, E.G. Eidemiller, V.V. Justitskis) consider dependence on psychoactive substances to be a “symptom of the family” [14; 15; 20]. There are a few works devoted to the influence of family factors on the formation of Internet addiction - S. Chen [22]. It was also found that a low level of family functioning is positively correlated with Internet addiction in adolescence - S. Ko et al. [23]. It has been found that in families with a large number of conflicts, there is a reduced level of parent-child involvement, which leads to an inadequate level of control on the part of parents. This, in turn, is a predictor of Internet addiction in a teenager - D. Ari et al. [25].

The purpose of our study was to establish a connection between Internet addictive behavior of adolescents and the nature of parent-child relationships in the family and some personal characteristics.

Research objectives:

1. Identification of the level of Internet addictive behavior in adolescents and identification of appropriate groups of adolescents.
2. Study of the connection between family parenting style and the level of Internet addictive behavior in adolescents.
3. Study of the connection between the nature of the relationship between parents and children and the level of Internet addictive behavior of adolescents.
4. A study of the connection between the level of anxiety, mental stress and neurotic tendencies in a teenager and the level of his Internet addictive behavior.

Research hypothesis: the level of Internet addictive behavior of adolescents is associated with:

a) violations of the process of family education; b) the nature of the relationship between parents and child; c) increased levels of anxiety, mental stress and neurotic tendencies in adolescents.

Materials and research methods

The study involved adolescents aged 11-15 years and one of the parents (mother or father). A total of 22 couples took part in the study. Participation in the study was voluntary; participants were informed about the purpose of the study, the procedure for conducting it, and they gave informed consent to participate in it.

The gender and age characteristics of the sample are presented in Table 1.

Table 1. Sex and age characteristics of the sample

Social characteristics of the sample

All children who took part in the study studied in a comprehensive school and did not have a psychiatric or chronic somatic diagnosis. Some children had a history of contacting a neurologist for various reasons. All teenagers are from socially prosperous families with average or above average income. The parents of all the children examined had higher or secondary specialized education. All families live in Moscow or the Moscow region.

The study was conducted by interviewing children and one of the parents. To accomplish the research objectives, the following methods were used:

1. The Kimberly Young Internet Addiction Screening Test, modified for parent interviews with children and for adolescent self-diagnosis. The questionnaire was adapted for the Russian language by V.A. Loskutova [13].
2. Test for children's Internet addiction S.A. Kulakov, which makes it possible to determine the presence of Internet addiction in a child or teenager [10].
3. Methodology “Analysis of family education” by Eidemiller E.G. and Yustitskis V.V. [eleven].
4. Questionnaire “Parents’ behavior and adolescents’ attitudes towards them” [2].
5. Methodology for multidimensional assessment of children's anxiety [16].
6. Screening diagnostics of mental stress and neurotic tendencies in children and adolescents [19].
7. Survey of parents in the form of a structured conversation.

Research program

The study was carried out in 2 stages. The first stage is a screening survey of Internet addiction among study participants. Children and their parents were surveyed regarding their attitude towards the Internet. At this stage, the ability of adolescents to self-diagnose Internet addictive behavior was determined, since almost all tests for Internet addiction are structured in this way. For this purpose, both the teenager and the parent were given the same questionnaires separately from each other. Next, the results were compared and the degree of discrepancy between the answers of children and parents was identified. The Kimberly Young Internet Addiction Screening Test was used for this purpose.

Based on the screening survey, it was concluded that adolescents of this age who show excessive interest in the Internet or are highly likely to be Internet addicts cannot objectively assess their actual behavior regarding the Internet. That is, one of the signs of addictive behavior is fully manifested, namely a decrease in control over the time and frequency of being on the Internet. In this regard, further research was based on parental feedback on their child’s Internet behavior.

At the second stage of the study, an Internet addiction test was chosen, which, according to the author of the study, allows us to conduct the most correct analysis of the Internet addictive behavior of young adolescents (Children's Internet Addiction Test by S.A. Kulakova, 2004) [10]. At the same stage, the main goals of the study were achieved.

Research results

According to a survey of parents, the following groups of adolescents were identified in the study sample:

Table 2. Groups of children by level of Internet addiction

A study of the connection between Internet addictive behavior and characteristics of family upbringing showed that high values ​​of this indicator in adolescents are positively correlated with disturbances in the process of family upbringing (Table 3).

Table 3. Correlations of the type of disturbance in the upbringing process with the level of Internet addiction in adolescents

Table 3 shows that the strongest connection is observed in the area of ​​emotional acceptance and rejection of the child by the parent and in the area of ​​autonomy and control over the child’s behavior.

Hypoprotection reflects the insufficient level of support for the child in the family. We are talking about how much effort, attention, and time parents devote to raising a child. In this case, there is a situation in which the teenager finds himself on the periphery of the parent’s attention, “their hands do not reach him.” The child often “falls out of sight.” They “tackle” it only from time to time, when something serious happens.

Indulgence reflects an excessive degree of satisfaction of the child's needs. In this case, parents strive for the maximum and uncritical satisfaction of any needs of the teenager. Any desire of a teenager is law for them. When indulging, parents unconsciously project their previously unmet needs onto their children and look for ways to substitutively satisfy them through educational actions.

Ignoring the child’s needs - this type of parenting disorder is characterized by the parent’s insufficient desire to meet the child’s needs. More often, spiritual needs suffer, especially the need for emotional contact, communication with a parent, acceptance and love. Often combined with hypoprotection.

Insufficiency of requirements-responsibilities is a form of violation of the system of requirements imposed on a teenager. Requirements-responsibilities are a list of the child’s daily responsibilities towards himself and other family members. In this case, the child has a minimum number of responsibilities in the family. Often combined with indulgence.

Excessive demands-prohibitions . Requirements-prohibitions—indications of what a teenager cannot do—determine, first of all, the degree of his independence, the ability to choose his own behavior. In this situation, the child “cannot do everything.” A huge number of demands are placed on him that limit his freedom and independence.

Instability of parenting style . This violation characterizes a sharp change in parenting styles, representing a transition from very strict to liberal, and then vice versa: from significant attention to the emotional rejection of the child by his parents [20].

Also, based on the results of this part of the study, it is possible to identify the causes of deviations in family upbringing, the severity of which is positively correlated with an increased likelihood of Internet addiction in adolescents (Table 4).

Table 4. Correlations of the causes of deviations in family upbringing with the level of Internet addiction of adolescents

Thus, we see a strong connection between the level of a child’s Internet addiction and the spouses’ conflict, the projection of their negative qualities onto him, on the one hand, and insufficient acceptance of him as an adult subject, instability in relationships with him, on the other hand.

A high level of positive correlation was also shown by the level of Internet addiction and the “hostility factor” in the attitude of the parent to the teenager (r(s) = 0.733; p

Table 5. Correlations of parental attitude factors with the level of Internet addiction of adolescents

The concept of “hostility” in this case describes the parent’s emotional rejection of the child and requires decoding. The “hostility” of a mother in her relationship with a teenager is characterized, from his point of view, by her aggressiveness and excessive severity in interpersonal relationships. The mother's focus solely on herself, her pride and self-affirmation excludes acceptance of the child. The latter is perceived, first of all, as a “rival” who must be suppressed in order to assert his importance. For this, various kinds of manipulations are used: for example, emotional coldness towards a teenager is often passed off as restraint, modesty, adherence to “etiquette” and even “subordination” to him. At the same time, if the mother has a hostile attitude towards the teenager, there may be pronounced suspicion and a tendency to be excessively critical of him. Along with this, positive activity and responsibility for the child’s fate are demonstrated at the verbal level [2, p. 60–70].

A “hostile” father, in the opinion of adolescents, always agrees with generally accepted opinion, while showing excessive conventionality. He is trying to “train” his child in accordance with the accepted ideas in this society about the “ideal son.” In the eyes of a child, the father is seen as stern and pedantic. The teenager is constantly in anxious anticipation of a low assessment of his activities and punishment by parental rejection. There is constant dissatisfaction with the child and a skeptical attitude towards his achievements [Ibid.].

The next factor that has a statistically significant connection with a teenager’s level of Internet addiction is the “proximity factor.” This indicator characterizes the degree of manifestation of warm feelings and acceptance of the child by the parent at high values ​​and his predominant rejection at low standard scores. This factor is associated with the level of Internet addiction by a negative correlation (rs = −0.617; p The next statistically significant relationship was revealed between the level of Internet addiction of a teenager and the “inconsistency factor” in upbringing (rs = 0.573; p Correlation analysis showed that an increase in the likelihood of Internet addiction Adolescent dependent behavior is positively associated with high levels of anxiety in the sphere of evaluation of others, anxiety in situations of self-expression and anxiety in relationships with parents (Table 6).

Table 6. Correlation of the level of anxiety with the level of Internet addiction in adolescents

There is a positive correlation between the presence of various neurotic tendencies in adolescents and an increase in the rate of Internet addictive behavior (Table 7).

Table 7. Correlation of the level of neurotic tendencies with the level of Internet addiction in adolescents

Discussion

Thus, in the families studied, the following picture emerged describing the relationship between parents, adolescents and the Internet: with very high values ​​of the factors of hostile, inconsistent, autonomous (fenced off or distant) behavior of parents and a very low value of the closeness factor, we observe a high level of Internet addiction of adolescents . When the values ​​of the factors of hostility and inconsistency are above average, and the factor of autonomy and closeness is close to average, we observe an excessive interest in the Internet among adolescents (the risk of Internet addiction).

In families with low levels of factors of hostility and inconsistency and normative values ​​for factors of closeness and autonomy, we observe the usual attitude of adolescents towards the Internet.

The factors of “directiveness” and “criticism” in the behavior of parents showed themselves interestingly (these factors are associated with upbringing, control, prohibitions and rewards). The highest rates of these factors are in the group of teenagers who are overly interested in the Internet (but not Internet addicts). The value of these factors is extremely low in the group of Internet-addicted adolescents, which is probably due to parental distancing and neglect (hypoguardianship). In the group of ordinary Internet users, these factors reach values ​​close to average and are due to the provision of independence to adolescents while maintaining some elements of parental control.

Correlation analysis showed a connection between anxiety (mainly in the sphere of social relationships) and neurotic tendencies (mainly in the emotional spectrum) with a predisposition to Internet-addictive behavior, since mediated communication in virtual reality apparently allows one to reduce emotional stress, expressed in depression. -anxious, phobic and aggressive states.

Conclusion

The considered aspects of child-parent relationships, namely the style of family education, the characteristics of child-parent interaction and the emotional climate in the home, are stable formations and are formed from the moment a child appears in the family; they accompany the relationship between children and parents throughout their entire life together, if not their conscious correction was carried out.

A teenager turns out to be vulnerable to various forms of addiction as the implementation of forms of avoidant behavior. He can choose one of the socially acceptable addictions, for example, Internet addiction.

When corrective work with an Internet addict, special attention must be paid to the formation of sources of emotional warmth and acceptance, a sense of security, increasing self-esteem and self-esteem, as well as stimulating gradual harmonious separation from parents.

Of particular importance is psychocorrectional work with parents (if possible), aimed at correcting the style of family education, as well as resolving intrapersonal and interpersonal problems of adult family members.

The study also showed the need for correction in the direction of:

a) reducing the level of anxiety and increasing the effectiveness of coping behavior;

b) attracting specialists of related specialties (neurologists, psychoneurologists) to correct the psycho-physiological state of a dependent person.

This study revealed the need for an integrated approach to solving the problem of Internet addiction. We can offer the following set of psychocorrectional assistance to the family of a teenager who has sought psychological help regarding the problem of Internet addictive behavior (Table 8).

Table 8. Comprehensive psychocorrection program for identifying the risks of Internet addictive behavior in adolescents

The proposed comprehensive approach to working with Internet-addicted adolescents is based on the research conducted and on the modern biopsychosocial model of health, taking into account biological, psychological and social risk factors.

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1 Telephone survey of an audience aged 14-25 years. The sample represents Russian residents aged 14–25 years living in cities with a population of over 1 million people. The total number of respondents is 1000 people. ↑

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Bogomolova M.A., Buzina T.S. Internet addiction: aspects of formation and possibilities of psychological correction // Medical psychology in Russia: electron. scientific magazine – 2022. – T. 10, No. 2(49) [Electronic resource]. – URL: https://mprj.ru (access date: hh.mm.yyyy).

All elements of the description are necessary and comply with GOST R 7.0.5-2008 “Bibliographic reference” (entered into force on 01/01/2009). Date of access [in the format day-month-year = hh.mm.yyyy] – the date when you accessed the document and it was available.

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Types of computer addiction

Children spend time online in different ways. Boys prefer shooting games, such as Doom or Counter-Strike, and girls can spend hours scrolling through their Instagram feed. There are three types of computer addiction, although they all have the same mechanism:

• Gaming addiction is an excessive passion for computer games that gradually replace real life. Realistic graphics and rich plot give the child emotions, and game chats can fully satisfy the child’s need for communication. Also, many games have ratings, daily tasks, and reward systems, which further keeps players engaged.
• Addiction to social networks is an obsessive desire to check for new likes and messages, scroll through your feed for a long time, and make online acquaintances. Social networks make it easy for teenagers to overcome their insecurities and create an ideal image of themselves. But the greater the gap with reality, the more difficult it is to accept your appearance without filters and your real life, which seems too boring and gray.
• Addiction to network surfing - all kinds of sites and videos on YouTube can be useful if a teenager watches them for some purpose. It’s a completely different matter to wander aimlessly around the Internet. Essentially, this is procrastination that gradually takes more and more time.

Threat from the 20th century

Teenagers from the 2000s sometimes know neither backyard sandboxes, nor football battles, nor Cossack robbers. Communication, play and learning have moved into the electronic space, and this makes children and adolescents vulnerable to computer threats.

On the one hand, a fragile personality must obey the demands of the time and skillfully handle any modern technology. On the other hand, you need to avoid many temptations and not lose touch with reality.

Preventing addiction to gadgets is a common task for families and schools. But completely protecting children from computers today is both difficult and wrong. School rules require limited and directed use of technology for educational purposes. But avoiding mistakes at home in entertainment and leisure is within the power of parents.

Invisible enemies

A schoolchild from 7 to 17 years old is a psychological sponge. Without control, negative traits may appear in the child’s psyche:

• unlimited, voracious consumption of electronic content in any form: news, games, videos, movies;
• loss of self, loss of sense of reality, distortion of priorities, the teenager’s world begins to depend on the pixels on the screen;
• refusal of social responsibility, age-related responsibilities;
• limited contacts and communication skills, development of pathological traits and character accentuations;
• loss of interest in knowledge and even in events in the life of one’s own family;
• disturbance of the circadian rhythm, sleep patterns, nutrition, cleanliness, etc.

On the Internet, a child may encounter criminals: scammers, extortionists, pedophiles and death groups. If a child is allowed to remain in a state of addiction for too long, serious consequences can develop:

1. lag in social development, antisocial behavior;
2. neuropsychic disorders of various types;
3. somatic diseases: scoliosis, gastritis, exhaustion, ophthalmological diseases.

Difficulties of terminology

Computer addiction is not a made-up term, but it is not an officially recognized disease either. For now this is a psychological syndrome. Like other forms of addiction, it forces one to abandon the real world in favor of the virtual. In it, a dependent teenager finds a replacement for live communication, books, knowledge, games and physical activity.

Where danger hides

Internet addiction in adolescents can be undifferentiated (the child is pathologically interested in computer technology in general). But more often the main focus can be identified:

• teenage gambling addiction (addiction to computer games in teenagers) The most popular are The Sims, World of Warcraft, World of Tanks. This is the leading form of addiction, since it is equally easy to captivate a boy or a girl with a game, especially under the age of 16.
• dependence on the feed (VKontakte, Instagram and other networks offer an unlimited flow of news on the wall);
• addiction to online shopping in the presence of electronic money in a teenager;
• communication addiction to the computer: passion for communication or dating on the Internet;
• older teenagers may have cybersexual forms of addiction (viewing porn content: photos, videos, animation).

It’s hard to say which content is more dangerous, but it is games that become an outlet for anxious, insecure, and complex children. A heroic character, a fairy-tale creature or a clever shooter becomes a kind of mask, under which you are not afraid, and not sad, and not lonely. It is easier to resist the outside world through your game character.

The computer is capable of gradually weaning an unformed personality from the normal rhythm of life and minimizing the child’s presence in the real world.

Look at what a child’s addiction to computer games can do:

Signs of computer addiction in teenagers

Frequent use of the computer does not always mean addiction. The key difference between a hobby and a real behavioral disorder is the loss of control over the craving for games or social networks, the blurred boundary between the virtual and real world. Everyday activities gradually lose their meaning and become a burden that you want to get rid of as quickly as possible in order to immerse yourself in virtual life.

Some parents consider computer addiction to be just a bad habit or a gap in parenting, but mental health experts suggest treating it as a disease. In 2022, gaming disorders, including computer game addiction, were added to the International Classification of Diseases.

Symptoms of computer addiction in teenagers:

• The need to spend all free time online, lack of other interests and hobbies
• Withdrawal syndrome: restlessness, irritability when unable to go online
• Repeatedly deceiving parents or other loved ones regarding time spent at the computer
• Irritability, aggression in response to prohibitions or persuasion to take a break from a computer game or social networks
• The desire to continue to play, despite problems in school, damaged relationships with parents and friends
• Neglect of appearance and personal hygiene - a teenager may stop washing without a reminder and becomes indifferent to his appearance
• Physical signs: insomnia, nervousness, dry, sore eyes, headaches. As one of the consequences of computer addiction, teenagers may develop carpal tunnel syndrome (pain in the wrist due to working with a mouse)

Signs of addiction

1. Constant manipulation of PCs, tablets, phones (searching for devices with your eyes, checking their functionality, charging, carrying with you in transport, on the street, setting loud alerts in games or chats). 2. Absent-mindedness or irritability (in severe cases, anger, aggression) when distracted from games, network communication (in children - when using a computer is prohibited). 3. Neglect of studies, household chores, and professional responsibilities. 4. Narrowing the circle of interests, reducing the number of friends and acquaintances, the desire to be alone with a tablet or phone.

The physical health of computer addicts also suffers - immunity and visual acuity decrease, inflammatory eye diseases, cervical and lumbar osteochondrosis occur more often, and aches and pain in the fingers and wrists can be bothersome.

In addition, they also experience psycho-emotional disorders - sudden mood swings, indifference to loved ones, sleep disorders, lack of vital activity and motivation for real achievements.

Typical causes of computer addiction in teenagers

• Lack of vivid emotions

Computer games and videos on social networks can be compared to fast food - “quick food” for the psyche and brain. In real life, bright events require activity, activity, but in the virtual world it is enough to launch a game. True, like fast food, virtual events only satisfy your “hunger”, but do not help you develop.

• Shyness, communication problems

In games and social networks, in order to attract attention, it is enough to comment on someone’s photo or go through one mission together. In real life, making friends is much more difficult, so the Internet seems like a good solution for shy teenagers.

She really expands her social circle, but on the other hand, the child will never learn to make friends in everyday life. Moreover, he may lose interest in it.

• The desire to prove superiority and gain recognition

By building castles, killing monsters or filming a video for a social network, a teenager receives admiration and support that he does not have in the real world. He feels significant and important, and sees likes as approval from his peers.

It is useless to think about how to wean a teenager from computer addiction if he has no success offline. And such situations will not appear out of nowhere if you turn off the Internet at home - you need to work on them.

Another factor that may contribute to the development of computer addiction in children and adolescents is the lack of family holiday traditions. Family trips, sports, and DIY hobbies teach children to have fun while doing something. But if the family habit is to spend time in front of the TV, there is no way for the child to learn another way to relieve himself of boredom.

Prevention of computer gaming addiction

A complete abandonment of online life will not help. In today's society, most people are forced to check social media regularly. It has also been proven that computer games in moderation have a beneficial effect on the human psyche:

• Relieves stress;
• Improve cognitive skills;
• Increases overall life satisfaction.

The main thing is to ensure that the use of gadgets does not develop into computer addiction . This can be done in various ways:

• Limit the amount of time your child can spend on the computer. For example, at 8-10 years old - 30 minutes, at 14 - no more than an hour a day, and so on.
• Live a fulfilling life. Do not reduce all communication with friends to regular correspondence on social networks. Get out of the house, meet nice people, find a hobby.
• Lead a healthy lifestyle (and teach your children to do it). Regular walks, proper nutrition, and moderate physical activity strengthen the nervous system and help cope with stress. You will not have the desire to “escape” into an illusory network reality.
• Build harmonious relationships with others (and make sure your children have friends). Social isolation is one of the main reasons for the development of computer addiction at any age.
• When faced with strong emotions (the death or illness of a loved one, violence, job loss, moving, a difficult breakup), do not try to cope with them on your own. Make an appointment with a psychologist or psychotherapist. A specialist will help you live through your emotions constructively, without destructive decisions.

If you think you need professional help, take the 45-day express program at the I Am Independent Clinic. It is designed for those who want to lead a decent life. It explains the basic principles of a sober life, and is suitable not only for alcoholics and drug addicts, but also for gambling addicts and people suffering from computer addiction. Call us on our toll-free hotline 8.

Clinical personality changes

The teenager is looking for an opportunity to play or go on social networks as often as possible, and does not know how to relax and rest in any other way. There is almost no interest in other entertainment, or they clearly lose out in his system of priorities.

This could include skipping school, lying to parents and teachers, and spending all your pocket money on paid options in the game. To help a teenager get rid of computer addiction at this stage, decisive measures are needed - psychological and pedagogical suggestions alone will not be enough. Parents need to create a worthy competitor to the Internet. For example, play sports together or go on a long hiking trip.

Stages of addiction development

Children do not immediately become avid gamers. The process of addiction formation is very long. First, the child gets acquainted with the game, its rules, the fictional world, tries on new roles, sees whether it suits him or not.

Stage of interest

It can last a very long time, and many teenagers remain on it, trying more and more new applications. There is no manic desire to play here yet, so there is no danger as such. If your child plays for a limited time and easily gives up the gadget in favor of other activities, then you should not worry or argue with him about this. Support him in other hobbies, and you won't be afraid of gaming addiction.

Infatuation Stage

The first call for parents. The world of fantasy interests the teenager more and more; he wants to play a little longer, “five more minutes.” The child is still able to refuse to play, but the desire to return there again arises more and more often. He spends several hours a day playing the game, and his performance declines. It’s good if the application gets boring and disappoints the player at this stage. Or parents will gently intervene in the child’s life and direct his energy in a different direction.

It is important to understand that a ban on the game will only cause greater protest, and the desire to play will intensify. If you miss time at this stage, the addiction will quickly develop into the next stage.

Dependency stage

School, friends, food and sleep interfere with the game. Constant conflicts with family, all thoughts are only about how to improve your results when passing the next test. Here you can observe a full-fledged syndrome, when the game becomes inaccessible to the child.

Aggression, apathy, depressive and suicidal thoughts. All this signals the beginning of serious problems for a teenager. It is no longer possible to turn a blind eye to addiction.

Unfortunately, few parents will be able to cope with the situation on their own, therefore, for the benefit of the whole family, it is necessary to turn to specialists who will help bring the child out of gambling addiction and improve relations with the world so that a relapse does not occur.

Stage of clinical dependence

The child is no longer able to control himself and can sit at the computer or gadget for a day without sleep. Appetite decreases, emotional inhibition is observed, at the same time hysteria and impulsiveness increase. Psychosomatic disorders begin - headaches, stomach upsets, intestinal colic. Some children experience auditory and visual hallucinations. If urgent measures are not taken and specialists are not involved in saving the child, irreversible changes in the brain may begin.

Clinical addiction

At this stage, the teenager is not able to easily tear himself away from the game, even if he wants to. All his thoughts and plans are somehow connected with the game, and many specific terms appear in his speech. If for some reason he is unable to sit down at the computer, withdrawal syndrome occurs: depression, irritability, anxiety.

The child becomes indifferent to family matters and may show callousness towards parents and loved ones. At this stage, parents will not be able to deal with their teenager’s computer addiction on their own; they need the help of a psychotherapist.

Is my child addicted or not? How to Know When to Worry

Sometimes it can be difficult to determine whether a child is just playing enthusiastically or is already addicted and cannot stop. In this case, you need to watch him for some time.

It is important to pay attention to the following points:

Mood

A child with addiction is often irritable, angry, and has poor control over his emotions, especially when it comes to computer games. However, he quickly calms down when given the opportunity to play. Here it is important to clarify that anger at a mother who snatched a gadget out of her hands is a natural reaction for a healthy teenager . The immature psyche works slowly, therefore, in order to avoid conflict and prepare the child for the end of the game, warn him in advance that time is coming to an end (“5 minutes left”). If after this time the child parted with the toy calmly enough, there is no problem.

Time in game

Gamers often simply cannot limit themselves to this pleasure. They are ready to give up food in favor of playing, go to bed poorly, and skip classes to sit at the computer or gadget. It happens that parents themselves provoke such a situation, initially denying their child the right to play. If the daily schedule has a clear time allotted for entertainment, the child is less worried about the game, he knows for sure that he will get what he wants on time and no one will punish him.

Financial expenses

The child begins to insist on the need to invest money in the game, in improving the technical characteristics of the phone or computer. He doesn't have enough pocket money. Theft from home is possible.

Communication with peers

The interests of a dependent child are greatly narrowed. With friends, all conversations ultimately come down to games. The gambler begins to reduce the number of walks with friends, under various pretexts being left alone with the game.

If your child is easily distracted from the game, calmly parts with the gadget, leads an active social life, and has no problems sleeping - everything is fine. Games are entertainment, one of thousands of possible ones. And it is unreasonable to scold a child for wanting to entertain himself.

Structural personality changes

The stage of desocialization, when a teenager completely drops out of public life. This stage is characterized by indifference to one’s appearance, the ability to go for a long time without food or sleep, despite feeling unwell.

A dependent person becomes indifferent to the outside world; nothing pleases or interests him. If others try to talk or distract him, he reacts aggressively. Such severe computer addiction among teenagers is rare, but when the situation is so advanced, urgent help is needed.

Addicted teenager

Deep and objective diagnosis of gaming or other forms of computer addiction is the job of professionals. But a parent can notice the signs of an impending problem on his own. Pay attention to your teen's behavior and answer a few questions about him.

1. What is he talking about? A wide range of topics and discussing them with family, friends and classmates is a positive sign.
2. What is he doing? A child enthusiastically practices karate, attends an art studio, makes progress in literary competitions - wonderful! He delivers what he promises on time, and completes what he starts.
3. How does he spend his free time? The computer is not one of my main interests. The young man reads books, is interested in thematic television programs, or even plans to conduct scientific research at the Small Academy of Sciences - rest assured.
4. What mood is he in? Irritability, mood swings, hysteria, and depression are unusual for healthy and socially active teenagers.
5. Does he participate in family affairs? Shopping, cleaning, going to the country with parents are ways to spend time usefully for the family. A psychologically healthy teenager is aware of his contribution to family life.
6. How he / she looks? Appearance is important for a healthy teenager! Ungroomed behavior, baggy clothes, and the desire to wear a hood are the first attempts to escape reality.
7. How does he sleep? Anxious sleep, sleepwalking, late going to bed are reasons to start keeping your child away from the computer. By the way, a good appetite is not considered a sign of health when it comes to computer addiction!
8. What does he dream about? Defeat another monster at level ninety? Or should I go to Europe for the sand sculpture festival? Or get your hands on a rare album from your favorite rock band? Remember or ask your child about his dreams.

Even if the answers turned out to be alarming, do not rush to turn off the Internet and throw away the monitor. Hasty actions can cause harm. It is better to follow a strictly planned plan.

How many hours a day does your child spend in front of gadget screens?

• More than 8 hours 40%, 55 votes
  55 votes 40%

  55 votes - 40% of all votes

• From 4 to 6 hours 24%, 32 votes

  32 votes 24%

  32 votes - 24% of all votes

• From 1 to 3 hours 18%, 24 votes

  24 votes 18%

  24 votes - 18% of all votes

• From 6 to 8 hours 16%, 22 votes

  22 votes 16%

  22 votes - 16% of all votes

• Less than 1 hour 2%, 3 votes

  3 votes 2%

  3 votes - 2% of all votes

Total votes: 136

03.09.2018

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Consequences of computer addiction

If the Internet and computer become the main channels of communication, this can greatly affect the socialization of a teenager. Facial expressions and gestures are not used online; emotions are expressed using emoticons, and in case of any conflicts, you can simply leave the chat. The child does not use all means of communication, does not develop them - all this impoverishes communication.

Another important point is disturbances in the formation of attachments. It's easy to make friends online, but it's also easy to break up. You can add one interlocutor to the blacklist and immediately find a new one. As a result, the teenager will not have the experience of real relationships with all their difficulties, adjustments, quarrels and reconciliations.

An equally harmful consequence of computer addiction in adolescents can be considered the illusion of achievement that avid gamers or bloggers develop. In games, you can create an entire universe in a few days, and if something doesn’t work out, go through the level again. Success in life cannot be achieved so easily. At the same time, only a few are seriously involved in e-sports or developing their blog, while the rest retain the illusion of achievement while their real life is being destroyed.

How to prevent computer addiction

It is much easier to prevent addiction rather than treat it. Show your child that you are concerned about the current situation. It is important that he sees you not as an aggressor or adversary, but as a loved one who also needs care.

Try to keep the games collective - with the participation of two or three children. This will allow you to periodically be distracted by communication without plunging into a state of “trance”. Show interest in the games your child enjoys. If possible, offer developmental options.

Proper upbringing of a child is the main measure to prevent addiction of any type in children. If a conflict situation arises, expressed on your part by an order to stop being behind the monitor, then forget about bargaining. State your position clearly and clearly and provide an explanation for it.

Do not limit the child in his actions by banning certain games. It is better to explain why this or that activity is undesirable for him. If a particular type of entertainment is categorically prohibited without any explanation, it will increase the child’s interest in such pastime. The very existence of the ban will make it impossible to discuss the problem between the child and parents.

Always agree on your child's screen time and stick to those agreements. The duration should be chosen based on the age of the child. Before the age of 5, it is generally undesirable for a child to get involved in computer games - encourage him to explore the world without electronics.

From the age of 6, 15-20 minutes of such leisure time is enough. A teenager 10-12 years old can sit at the device for about two hours, with breaks.

A strict ban on computer games immediately before bedtime. The device should not be placed in a child's room. As noted, time spent on the computer should be in a common room to see what it is used for.

Teach your child to active games, sports, and physical development. It shouldn't be a burden - find something he likes. Computer games should not replace real communication with others.

If possible, periodically communicate with him while he is online - this will allow him not to be immersed in the game, and you will understand what he is doing.

You should be aware of his virtual contacts, talk to him about them. It is important that the child does not leave his home address, school, or telephone number to “people on the Internet.” Meetings with new acquaintances from the Internet without prior discussion with friends is also prohibited. A trusting relationship with a child will subsequently save you from many serious problems.

Health implications

Computer addiction is often accompanied by a number of somatic problems. Physical inactivity weakens muscles, deteriorates posture, and develops scoliosis. Irregular meals and fast food, which children like to snack on while playing, lead to gastritis. Finally, spending a long time looking at a monitor inevitably affects your vision.

Such problems are clearly visible to parents, but may not be noticeable to a teenager. Captivated by the game, children often do not notice hunger and lack of sleep. However, all this affects health.

What should parents do?

You need to act wisely, systematically and methodically. If something goes wrong, your teen may not give you a second chance. His trust is a fragile substance. Countering symptoms provides only temporary relief. The problem may return when favorable conditions arise again. Therefore, choose the path of salvation through eliminating the original causes of addiction.

The answer to just three questions will reveal a whole heap of information about the child you are raising. Try to understand your own motives and actions, make sure that you are not setting a bad example and do not create psychological discomfort in the family.

1. What made the young man plunge into the virtual world?
2. What does he know about alternatives in the real world?
3. What do you personally do as parents to keep things interesting?

If your child is lonely, find the lost path to his heart.

If he is insecure, make an effort to normalize his self-esteem. For each stage of addiction, there is an optimal way to overcome the problem.

Educational conversations

And long heart-to-heart conversations. It is a confidential dialogue that will help you understand where manifestations of addiction come from. What is important and valuable hidden there, on the other side of the monitor, that the child cannot find next to family and friends?

Conduct the conversation in a calm, even tone, be sincerely interested in the answers, but do not become edifying. Use correct speech structures:

• Fewer closed questions that require a clear “yes” or “no” answer.
• “I” instead of “you”: “I would like to know about this game” instead of “What game do you play?”
• Ask specific questions: “Why is this command needed in the chat?”, “Why is this hero better?”, “What weapon will be at the next level?”
• Connect to your child’s interest: play with him, try to develop a program algorithm, watch a good, wise anime together.
• Do not express assessments or categorical judgments, even if you notice obvious stupidity or a mistake. Better laugh it off.

Once contact is made, you can manipulate it. For a child, the contact itself is more important, and not the situation in which it is included. Therefore, it will gradually be possible to move the dialogue away from computer topics and away from the computer itself.

Child psychologist

Adolescents have a common mistake: they do not share the professional responsibilities of a psychologist, psychotherapist and psychiatrist. According to the teenager, it’s a shame to go to the “shrinks”!

Therefore, first, together with your spouse, visit a pediatric specialist without a child, tell your “case history,” and discuss ways of further cooperation. A professional will definitely give you detailed instructions. Only an individual approach will help bring a child to a psychologist.

Psychotherapy and hypnosis

A dependent teenager can get to a psychotherapist in two ways: voluntarily (through awareness of the problem in the psychologist’s office and a conscious choice) and forcibly (when parents have no other choice).

Psychotherapy requires significant financial costs and patient interest, and hypnosis does not work for everyone. As a recommendation, consider gently switching your child to “non-shameful” therapies:

• art therapy (treatment through creativity, substitution of hobbies);
• play therapy;
• zootherapy (canistherapy, dolphin therapy require a change of environment, and communication with animals can become a new hobby);

By the way. Psychologically healthy children are indifferent to dogs. Lonely, unsure of themselves, and those with complexes find an outlet in an animal. Think about whether your teenager asked for a dog. She (or another animal) can help the child switch and self-realize. With the right program for working with a dog in a family, you can significantly adjust personal qualities and instill new social skills in a confused teenager. Start by visiting a dog show and talk to young handlers or athletes in the Frisbee, agility and freestyle disciplines.

• symboldrama with teenagers (a psychoanalytic method based on the experience of images);
• A rare but still existing type of psychologists is cyberpsychologists. These people help the child make the computer a tool, and not the meaning of life. Variations on the same theme - a programming school, a robotics club.

Important! Whoever you contact, check references and diplomas. A specialist working with addicted adolescents must have at least a higher education in psychology.

Medicines and procedures

Last resort. Don't resort to it unless necessary. Any medications can only be prescribed by a doctor (psychiatrist or medical psychologist). Drugs for addiction include quite “heavy” medications: nootropics, antidepressants, sedatives, and sometimes hormones. As additional measures, doctors use vitamin-mineral complexes and physiotherapy.

How to treat computer addiction in teenagers

Parents should first of all pay attention to the situation in the family and at school - this is the teenager’s immediate environment, where the roots of all his problems are usually located. In the early stages, it is enough to improve the atmosphere in the family and offer the child an interesting hobby.

And in order to understand how to cure computer addiction in a teenager, if it has already formed and there are negative consequences, it is important to consult with a psychologist and find a solution together.

Possible treatments:

• Gestalt therapy, psychoanalysis, cognitive behavioral therapy and other psychotherapeutic methods, including hypnosis. You can work with addictions in different directions; it is better for parents to choose not a method, but a good specialist.
• Drug treatment is selected exclusively by a psychiatrist (the psychologist does not prescribe medications). As a rule, this method is used if clinical depression is diagnosed, which became the cause of addiction.

It is better to prevent any disease than to treat it. Methodological recommendations from psychologists aimed at preventing computer addiction include working with a teenager on choosing an active hobby and on life goals. You need to pay attention to this as early as possible, before your passion for computers goes beyond the norm.

Children in the family should have a choice of how to spend their free time and what to enjoy. If from an early age the only option for relaxation was cartoons, there is a high probability that they will be replaced by video games and social networks, because the child will not form ideas about entertainment without gadgets.

Is it possible to divide games into dangerous and non-dangerous?

In fact, it is impossible to name specific game genres that are 100% addictive. Any game made with sufficient quality, thought out, and color can attract a child’s attention and make him return to the screen again and again.

Unfortunately, game developers are forced to create attractive worlds with secret levels, interesting plots, and bonus systems, otherwise people will stop buying their products. And not all players become addicted.

If you consider the applications individually, you can find for each a set of key skills necessary for successful completion.

At the moment there are many classifications of games. We will consider one of the simplest, directly related to psychological aspects. Games are divided into six genres:

Actions

Aimed at the player's physical skills, success depends on reaction speed, good coordination of vision and motor skills. For these games, the characteristics of the computer or phone on which they are installed are very important, since human actions depend on the quality of drawing details.

A typical task for a player in this genre is to collect all the necessary items, defeat all the “monsters,” and find a way out of the location. Some games involve active teamwork. All this develops the ability to quickly make decisions, think strategically, calculate moves in advance, and also allows you to shed excess aggression. However, at the same time, action games are easily addictive and cause rapid fatigue of the nervous system. It is advisable to limit the time spent in such games in order to give the psyche a chance to rest and the body to stretch not only its fingers.

Simulator

An excellent opportunity for a child to try himself in different situations. For example, there you can manage an airplane or your own restaurant. The main thing to remember here is that the simulator does not provide a 100% representation of reality, but only shows part of life.

Strategies

Games that require high-quality thought processes. As a rule, the player is offered the role of the leader of a state, company or group, and a certain goal to which he must lead the people entrusted to him.

Periodic fascination with this genre develops strategic thinking, the ability to see a situation broadly and from different points of view, make ambiguous decisions, and think for the future. Here breaks are necessary to give the brain a break, otherwise the likelihood of making a mistake increases.

Role-playing games

They give the teenager the opportunity to become someone else. Not “the humble boy Petya,” but “the last descendant of the king of the elves,” for example. A very popular genre among children, especially those who are unsure of themselves.

These games, by the way, are found not only in the virtual world, but also in the real one. People dress up as their favorite characters and gather at various games and festivals to live a more colorful and unusual life.

If you notice that your child has begun to become heavily immersed in role-playing games, look at how eventful his real life is. Perhaps he lacks strong positive impressions. Since each character in the game has a different set of special characteristics, pay attention to what features your child chooses. Help him develop these qualities in real life.

Adventures (quest)

A light genre where the player, in the form of a character, goes through a certain journey, overcomes obstacles, and solves problems. Very often, such games are based on the plots of books and films. Reaction speed and strategic thinking are not important here - observation and logic are much more important. The player is offered puzzles, solving which he gets the opportunity to move on. These games can be played by the whole family. They are fun and useful. The main thing is to take a break on time.

Puzzles

Games without a special plot. The levels are built on the same rules and consist of solving logical problems with a gradual increase in complexity. The player requires concentration, logical thinking, a little strategy and intuition. In moderate doses, puzzles help develop a child's mental abilities.

Thus, there are no absolutely bad or absolutely good games - everything is good in moderation and on time. The main rule for both children and adults is to play for fun and at a strictly designated time. The risk of addiction is greatly reduced if a person leads an active, busy life, and the game acts as a pleasant seasoning to it.

How to help a child: advice to parents

• It is impossible to prohibit the use of a computer or access to the Internet completely - children will need them for school. But it can be shown that computer technology is not only created for entertainment. You can do programming, web design, etc. behind the monitor. Even games are not a waste of time - eSports is an official discipline.
• While the psychologist is working on how to rid a teenager of computer addiction, it is up to the parents to create a comfortable environment at home. If you constantly scold and criticize a child until he “corrects”, the stress level will only increase, and the result of treatment will be worse.
• There is no need to expect that a child will have enough communication with parents and study so as not to feel lonely. In adolescence, the company of peers is important - so let the child have the opportunity to have it in sports or creative sections.
• To get rid of computer addiction, a teenager needs motivation. He must understand that interesting things await him in the future, and know how to go about achieving success. Parents can help if they talk with their child about their future profession, take an interest in their inclinations, and thus create a basis for new hobbies.
• Online games are often a way to relieve stress and throw out negative emotions. It is important to teach your teenager to cope with emotions differently, and also to provide him with support in stressful situations (even if the cause of the stress seems trivial).

Prevention

However, the best way to deal with any addiction is not to take things to extremes. So it is with gaming addictions. If a child is actively developing, full of creative energy, participates in sports events, communicates a lot with peers, feels support from loved ones, he simply has no time and no need to hide in the world of games. Therefore, support your children, talk to them, help them fill their lives with meaning, cultivate self-confidence in them, because parents are the main people in the life of any child.

What not to do

• Fight with physical methods - turn off the Internet and force the child to take a walk or read. It doesn't work, new interests don't just arise.
• Focus on the negative and scare the player with health consequences. As a rule, children do not attach due importance to this - they realize the harm to health much later.
• It is harsh to point out the disease - call him a gambler, abnormal, say “you will be cured.” This can have the opposite effect and only push the child away from going to a psychologist or psychotherapist.
• Forcibly take the child to a specialist. Sometimes this is justified, but dependence on a computer is not the case. If a teenager refuses help, it is better to go to a consultation with the parents themselves, so that the psychologist can suggest a way out of the situation.
• Criticize friends online. Even if they really have a bad influence on the child, he will not accept criticism, and as a result, parents only risk ruining the relationship.
• Fence yourself off from the situation and wait for the problem to resolve itself. Treatment of computer addiction requires the active participation of parents and patience, otherwise you can waste time and reach the stage where even the help of a specialist is not always effective.

The computer, like everything in this world, is not an absolute evil, but a tool. It can be useful for a child if parents teach him how to use it correctly.

Age characteristics

Computer addiction in teenagers rarely goes away on its own. To help a young person overcome the problem, he or she needs parental support and possibly professional therapy. And the education system now has a new task - weaning young people from Internet communication.

Many experts are inclined to believe that the appearance of various types of addictions (up to the second stage) in adolescents from different countries is a variant of the age norm. Children strive to explore the world of adults and try on adult hobbies, including computers. But still, you should not justify parental omissions with this thought.

When a mother wants to get an hour or two of free time, the simplest solution she sees is to sit the baby in front of the TV or give him a tablet with a cartoon in his hands. And already at the age of 2–3 years, a child begins to form an error in worldview: it is impossible to live, relax and communicate without a tablet and mobile phone.

In rare cases and only under the close supervision of parents (teachers), an irrepressible craving for computer technology takes the form of a healthy passion and professional orientation of a teenager. Statistics say that this happens only in 0.5% of Internet-addicted children - young programmers, website builders and web designers. All other representatives of the younger generation, alas, are at risk.

Lack of control

Risk: time factor. Left to his own devices, the child chooses the simplest activities that do not require effort. Instead of reading a book, watch TV, and instead of doing sports, play a computer shooter.

Solution: Teaching your child how to use electronics is essential, but the amount of time spent in cyberspace and the appropriateness of its use must also be carefully monitored. Prevention is the shortest way to get rid of the problem, because it is easier to wean a child from computer addiction than a teenager. It is worth explaining to a child from early childhood that a computer, telephone, TV and tablet are tools for work and learning, and not a means of entertainment.

What to do if there is already a problem? When chaos reigns in the lives of parents, the teenager has no choice but to find the necessary order in the virtual world. So start with yourself and forget about ultimatums!

Difficult family relationships

Risk: any conflicts in the family can serve as a reason to escape from reality. Scandals arise when the interests of a minor and adults collide. In a situation with teenage outbursts of “bad character”, to fight means to negotiate.

Solution: reviewing family relationships and requirements is the main preventive step of parents. Do this before your son or daughter finds a replacement family in an online role-playing game or general chat.

The burden of responsibility

Risk: parents' expectations are too high. They arise more often due to their own lack of fulfillment. For example, a mother graduated from school with a silver medal, and her daughter must earn a gold medal at all costs. But think about it, does a girl who is passionate about painting and piano need to win the war for grades? Why did my mother’s ambitious thoughts turn out to be higher than the girl’s interests? The child will begin to look for recognition and approval, not received in the family, in the world of elves and world wars.

Solution: Separate your interests from your child's interests and needs. Remember that he does not have to deserve your love or meet your ideals. Love is an unconditional parental feeling. And even the most desperate scoundrel has the right to be a beloved son.

Lonely children

Risk: A lonely teenager is not a young person who has no friends or contacts, but one who does not feel supported, understood and emotionally close to elders. A lonely teenager does not have a person with whom he can share his joys or experiences.

Solution: Learn to understand, support and persuade. It is important to teach a child to cope with the causes of his experiences, and not to keep them to himself.

Shocks and stress

Risk: adolescence is called “tender” because of the vulnerability of a child’s soul. First love, first betrayal, difficult relationships with teachers, squabbles with peers, struggle for leadership in the class, a huge amount of emotional experiences.

At the same time, “boys don’t cry,” and “girls should be proud and not show tears.” So the kids go into virtuality to get distracted, to spend time where a tactless dad or an overly curious mom won’t intrude.

Solution: visit a psychologist, learn to use the correct behavioral models when raising a teenager, learn to be your child’s ally.