Crisis of 17 years: neoplasm process, causes and symptoms, advice to parents

On the very threshold of adulthood, another age crisis occurs at the age of 17. It would probably be correct to say that it is experienced equally by the children themselves and their parents. Exams, choosing a profession, admission, job search, first serious feelings - at some point it begins to seem that the series of stressful situations will never end. And all this is against the backdrop of youthful maximalism and self-searching. Developmental psychology gives recommendations on how not to go crazy from all this.

Peculiarities

For the first time, a detailed description of the crisis of 17 years was given by the famous Soviet psychologist L. S. Vygotsky. It was he who identified the leading type of activity, mental neoplasms, typical social situations inherent in a given age period, and gave basic recommendations for correcting the behavior and personal development of adolescents.

Mental neoplasms of crisis:

value-semantic self-regulation of behavior;
formation of an internal position that is different from others, awareness of one’s individuality;
building a clear hierarchy of values, stable views on the world - a worldview is formed;
development of protective mechanisms against outside intrusion;
self-determination - personal and professional;
development of logical intelligence and hypothetico-deductive thinking;
active use of rational techniques for voluntary memorization of information;
acquisition of metacognitive skills;
improving mastery of the operations of analysis and synthesis, argumentation and proof, generalization and abstraction.

The leading activity is balancing between socialization (the desire to communicate) and isolation (the desire for loneliness, distrust of others).

The main manifestations are fears and youthful maximalism.

Periodization:

early crisis (15-17 years old) - associated with the first exams and manifests itself in those who leave school after 9th grade;
normal (17 years old) - a classic example of an age crisis at 17 years old;
late (17-18 years old) - observed in those who remain to live with their parents and have not decided on their choice of profession.

The main problem is excessive self-absorption and ignoring interpersonal relationships. This imbalance becomes the psychological basis for feelings of loneliness and social isolation.

World of Psychology

Age-related crises are special, relatively short-term periods of ontogenesis (up to a year), characterized by sharp mental changes. Refer to the normative processes necessary for the normal progressive course of personal development (Erikson).

The shape and duration of these periods, as well as the severity of their occurrence, depend on individual characteristics, social and microsocial conditions. In developmental psychology, there is no consensus on crises, their place and role in mental development. Some psychologists believe that development should be harmonious and crisis-free. Crises are an abnormal, “painful” phenomenon, the result of improper upbringing. Another part of psychologists argues that the presence of crises in development is natural. Moreover, according to some ideas in developmental psychology, a child who has not truly experienced a crisis will not fully develop further. This topic was addressed by Bozovic, Polivanova, and Gail Sheehy.

L.S. Vygotsky examines the dynamics of transitions from one age to another. At different stages, changes in the child’s psyche can occur slowly and gradually, or they can occur quickly and abruptly. Stable and crisis stages of development are distinguished, their alternation is the law of child development. A stable period is characterized by a smooth course of the development process, without sudden shifts and changes in the child’s Personality. Long in duration. Minor, minimal changes accumulate and at the end of the period give a qualitative leap in development: age-related new formations appear, stable, fixed in the structure of the Personality.

Crises do not last long, a few months, and under unfavorable circumstances they can last up to a year or even two years. These are brief but turbulent stages. Significant developmental shifts; the child changes dramatically in many of his features. Development can take on a catastrophic character at this time. The crisis begins and ends imperceptibly, its boundaries are blurred and unclear. Exacerbation occurs in the middle of the period. For the people around the child, it is associated with a change in behavior, the appearance of “difficulty in education.” The child is out of the control of adults. Affective outbursts, whims, conflicts with loved ones. Schoolchildren's performance decreases, interest in classes weakens, academic performance decreases, and sometimes painful experiences and internal conflicts arise.

In a crisis, development takes on a negative character: what was formed at the previous stage disintegrates and disappears. But something new is also being created. New formations turn out to be unstable and in the next stable period they are transformed, absorbed by other new formations, dissolved in them, and thus die off.

D.B. Elkonin developed the ideas of L.S. Vygotsky about child development. “The child approaches each point in his development with a certain discrepancy between what he has learned from the system of person-person relations and what he has learned from the system of person-object relations. It is precisely the moments when this discrepancy takes on the greatest magnitude that are called crises, after which the development of the side that lagged behind in the previous period occurs. But each side prepares the development of the other.”

Newborn crisis . Associated with a sharp change in living conditions. The child goes from comfortable, familiar living conditions to difficult ones (new nutrition, breathing). Adaptation of the child to new living conditions.

Year 1 crisis . Associated with an increase in the child’s capabilities and the emergence of new needs. A surge of independence, the emergence of affective reactions. Affective outbursts as a reaction to misunderstanding on the part of adults. The main acquisition of the transition period is a kind of children's speech called L.S. Vygotsky autonomous. It differs significantly from adult speech in its sound form. Words become polysemantic and situational.

Crisis 3 years . The border between early and preschool age is one of the most difficult moments in a child’s life. This is destruction, a revision of the old system of social relations, a crisis of identifying one’s “I,” according to D.B. Elkonin. The child, separating from adults, tries to establish new, deeper relationships with them. The emergence of the phenomenon “I myself,” according to Vygotsky, is a new formation of “external I myself.” “The child is trying to establish new forms of relationships with others - a crisis of social relations.”

L.S. Vygotsky describes 7 characteristics of a 3-year crisis. Negativism is a negative reaction not to the action itself, which he refuses to perform, but to the demand or request of an adult. The main motive for action is to do the opposite.

The motivation for the child’s behavior changes. At the age of 3, he first becomes able to act contrary to his immediate desire. The child’s behavior is determined not by this desire, but by the relationship with another, adult person. The motive for behavior is already outside the situation given to the child. Stubbornness. This is the reaction of a child who insists on something not because he really wants it, but because he himself told adults about it and demands that his opinion be taken into account. Obstinacy. It is directed not against a specific adult, but against the entire system of relationships that developed in early childhood, against the norms of upbringing accepted in the family.

The tendency towards independence is clearly manifested: the child wants to do everything and decide for himself. In principle, this is a positive phenomenon, but during a crisis, an exaggerated tendency towards independence leads to self-will; it is often inadequate to the child’s capabilities and causes additional conflicts with adults.

For some children, conflicts with their parents become regular; they seem to be constantly at war with adults. In these cases they talk about protest-rebellion. In a family with an only child, despotism may appear. If there are several children in a family, instead of despotism, jealousy usually arises: the same tendency towards power here acts as a source of a jealous, intolerant attitude towards other children who have almost no rights in the family, from the point of view of the young despot.

Depreciation. A 3-year-old child may begin to swear (old rules of behavior are devalued), throw away or even break a favorite toy offered at the wrong time (old attachments to things are devalued), etc. The child's attitude towards other people and towards himself changes. He is psychologically separated from close adults.

The crisis of 3 years is associated with the awareness of oneself as an active subject in the world of objects; for the first time the child can act contrary to his desires.

Crisis 7 years . It may begin at age 7, or may progress to age 6 or 8. Discovering the meaning of a new social position - the position of a schoolchild associated with the performance of academic work highly valued by adults. The formation of an appropriate internal position radically changes his self-awareness. According to L.I. Bozovic is the period of the birth of socialism. "I" of the child. A change in self-awareness leads to a reassessment of values. Profound changes occur in terms of experiences—stable affective complexes. It appears that L.S. Vygotsky calls it generalization of experiences. A chain of failures or successes (in school, in general communication), each time experienced approximately equally by the child, leads to the formation of a stable affective complex - feelings of inferiority, humiliation, wounded pride or a sense of self-worth, competence, exclusivity. Thanks to the generalization of experiences, a logic of feelings appears. Experiences acquire a new meaning, connections are established between them, and a struggle between experiences becomes possible.

This leads to the emergence of the child's inner life. The beginning of differentiation of the child's external and internal life is associated with a change in the structure of his behavior. A semantic orienting basis for the action appears - a link between the desire to do something and the unfolding actions. This is an intellectual moment that allows a more or less adequate assessment of a future action from the point of view of its results and more distant consequences. Meaningful orientation in one’s own actions becomes an important aspect of inner life. At the same time, it eliminates the impulsiveness and spontaneity of the child’s behavior. Thanks to this mechanism, children's spontaneity is lost; the child thinks before acting, begins to hide his experiences and hesitations, and tries not to show others that he feels bad.

A pure crisis manifestation of the differentiation between the external and internal life of children usually becomes antics, mannerisms, and artificial tension in behavior. These external characteristics, as well as the tendency to whims, affective reactions, and conflicts, begin to disappear when the child emerges from the crisis and enters a new age.

New formation – arbitrariness and awareness of mental processes and their intellectualization.

The puberty crisis (from 11 to 15 years) is associated with the restructuring of the child’s body - puberty. The activation and complex interaction of growth hormones and sex hormones causes intensive physical and physiological development. Secondary sexual characteristics appear. Adolescence is sometimes called a protracted crisis. Due to rapid development, difficulties arise in the functioning of the heart, lungs, and blood supply to the brain. In adolescence, the emotional background becomes uneven and unstable.

Emotional instability increases the sexual arousal that accompanies the process of puberty.

Gender identification reaches a new, higher level. An orientation towards models of masculinity and femininity is clearly manifested in behavior and the manifestation of personal qualities.

Thanks to the rapid growth and restructuring of the body in adolescence, interest in one's appearance sharply increases. A new image of the physical “I” is formed. Because of its hypertrophied importance, the child acutely experiences all the flaws in appearance, real and imaginary.

The image of the physical “I” and self-awareness in general is influenced by the pace of puberty. Children with late maturation are at the least advantageous position; acceleration creates more favorable opportunities for personal development.

A feeling of adulthood appears - a feeling of being an adult, a central neoplasm of early adolescence. A passionate desire arises, if not to be, then at least to appear and be considered an adult. Defending his new rights, the teenager protects many areas of his life from the control of his parents and often comes into conflict with them. In addition to the desire for emancipation, the teenager has a strong need to communicate with peers. Intimate and personal communication becomes the leading activity during this period. Teenage friendships and association in informal groups appear. Bright, but usually alternating hobbies also arise.

Crisis of 17 years (from 15 to 17 years) . It appears exactly at the turn of the usual school and new adult life. May shift by 15 years. At this time, the child finds himself on the threshold of real adult life.

Most 17-year-old schoolchildren are focused on continuing their education, a few are focused on finding a job. The value of education is a great benefit, but at the same time, achieving the set goal is difficult, and at the end of 11th grade, emotional stress can increase sharply.

Those who have been going through a crisis for 17 years are characterized by various fears. Responsibility to yourself and your family for your choice and real achievements at this time is already a big burden. Added to this is the fear of a new life, of the possibility of making a mistake, of failure when entering a university, and, for young men, of the army. High anxiety and, against this background, pronounced fear can lead to neurotic reactions, such as fever before final or entrance exams, headaches, etc. An exacerbation of gastritis, neurodermatitis or other chronic disease may begin.

A sharp change in lifestyle, inclusion in new types of activities, communication with new people cause significant tension. A new life situation requires adaptation to it. Mainly two factors help to adapt: family support and self-confidence and a sense of competence.

Focus on the future. Period of personality stabilization. At this time, a system of stable views on the world and one’s place in it—a worldview—is formed. The associated youthful maximalism in assessments and passion in defending one’s point of view are known. The central new formation of the period is self-determination, professional and personal.

Crisis 30 years. Around the age of 30, sometimes a little later, most people experience a crisis. It is expressed in a change in ideas about one’s life, sometimes in a complete loss of interest in what was previously the main thing in it, in some cases even in the destruction of the previous way of life.

The crisis of 30 years arises due to the unrealization of life plans. If at the same time there is a “reassessment of values” and a “revision of one’s own Personality,” then we are talking about the fact that the life plan turned out to be wrong in general. If the life path is chosen correctly, then attachment “to a certain Activity, a certain way of life, certain values and orientations” does not limit, but, on the contrary, develops his Personality.

The crisis of 30 years is often called a crisis of the meaning of life. It is with this period that the search for the meaning of existence is usually associated. This search, like the entire crisis as a whole, marks the transition from youth to maturity.

The problem of meaning in all its variants, from particular to global - the meaning of life - arises when the goal does not correspond to the motive, when its achievement does not lead to the achievement of the object of need, i.e. when the goal was set incorrectly. If we are talking about the meaning of life, then the general life goal turned out to be erroneous, i.e. life plan.

Some people in adulthood experience another, “unplanned” crisis, not confined to the border of two stable periods of life, but arising within a given period. This is the so-called crisis of 40 years . It's like a repeat of the crisis of 30 years. It occurs when the crisis of 30 years has not led to a proper solution to existential problems.

A person acutely experiences dissatisfaction with his life, a discrepancy between life plans and their implementation. A.V. Tolstykh notes that added to this is a change in attitude on the part of work colleagues: the time when one could be considered “promising”, “promising” is passing, and the person feels the need to “pay bills”.

In addition to problems associated with professional activity, the crisis of 40 years is often caused by the aggravation of family relationships. The loss of some close people, the loss of a very important common aspect of the life of the spouses - direct participation in the lives of children, daily care for them - contributes to the final understanding of the nature of the marital relationship. And if, apart from the children of the spouses, nothing significant binds them both, the family may fall apart.

In the event of a crisis at the age of 40, a person has to once again rebuild his life plan and develop a largely new “I-concept”. Serious changes in life may be associated with this crisis, including changing professions and starting a new family.

Retirement crisis . First of all, the disruption of the usual regime and way of life has a negative impact, often combined with an acute sense of contradiction between the remaining ability to work, the opportunity to be useful and their lack of demand. A person finds himself, as it were, “thrown to the sidelines” of a current life without his active participation. A decrease in one’s social status and loss of the rhythm of life that has been preserved for decades sometimes lead to a sharp deterioration in the general physical and mental condition, and in some cases even to a relatively quick death.

The retirement crisis is often aggravated by the fact that around this time the second generation—the grandchildren—grows up and begins to live an independent life, which is especially painful for women who devote themselves mainly to their families.

Retirement, which often coincides with the acceleration of biological aging, is often associated with a worsening financial situation and sometimes a more secluded lifestyle. In addition, the crisis may be complicated by the death of a spouse or the loss of some close friends.

Causes

Basically, the crisis of 17 years is associated with self-determination. Boys and girls of this age constantly find themselves in a situation of choice: which exams to take, where to enroll, who to be friends with, who to be, etc. This heats up the situation and exacerbates stress.

Exams

For all 11th grade students, final exams become a big stress. The Unified State Exam is sometimes comparable to Russian roulette. Some people get a simple option, others get an unsolvable one. Someone can pull themselves together, concentrate and do everything, but someone gets lost and, despite the fact that they know everything, gains an insignificant number of points. The tension begins with preparation for exams, reaches its maximum peak during the exam and stays there until the results are announced.

Situation of choice

Every teenager faces a certain choice: continue studying or look for a job, where to go next, where to get a job, study full-time or part-time, whether to work part-time, leave their parents or continue to live with them, etc. Almost every day requires making responsible decisions, on which fate depends.

Expectations of others

Teachers, parents, friends, relatives, acquaintances - everyone expects something from 17-year-olds and constantly bombards them with questions. “Where are you going?”, “Are you already working or not?”, “What do you want to become?”, “What are your hobbies?”, “Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?” Society dictates its own norms. And at this age it is incredibly difficult to meet his standards. Moreover, the opinions of others become too important for them.

New life situation

Entering another educational institution after school means a change of environment and daily routine, involvement in new activities, meeting a lot of people, sometimes moving away from parents and the need to live independently. Adaptation is also stressful.

All these life situations cause an exacerbation of the youth crisis at 17 years old.

Recommendations for parents

In youth, the attitude towards adults (parents) changes. At this time, the pupil is not against such interaction, but against formalities (orders, demands, etc.). The purpose of communication is to understand the principle and essence of various social relationships. Young men expect understanding, support, help, and trust from adults. And psychologically they can respond in kind. This can be done most effectively in conditions of cooperation, a common cause, and productive interaction between a child and an adult.

Young people do not need friends in the form of parents, they need support and help, a guide to the world of human relationships, a more experienced and older comrade. They will find friends and loved ones among their peers. But parents can talk about how they themselves loved and were friends when they were young.

It is necessary to help your son or daughter express his self, but at the same time maintain respect for society. Maintaining individuality within society is one of the most difficult issues of growing up. A person must separate himself from stereotypes, his image in the eyes of other people, and decide how he sees himself, what exactly he wants. The task of parents is to indulge positive manifestations of individuality:

Guide your child to areas where he or she has aptitude and interest.
Let him be himself, don’t try to replay your life in him.
Allow him to make mistakes and learn from them.
Be there to support and insure if necessary, but do not put pressure, do not deprive of independence and the most valuable thing a person has - personal experience.

Signs

Since the symptoms of the 17-year-old crisis manifest themselves quite clearly, parents immediately notice the changes occurring in the teenager.

Fears

First of all, the crisis manifests itself in constant fears about everything that is happening:

How will the new life turn out?
How many points will the exams be worth?
Will you be able to get in?
Have you chosen the right educational institution?
What happens if they draft you into the army?

The burden of expectations from others, responsibility towards oneself and parents become the cause of increased anxiety, and in some cases, stress. If in the end your fears are at least partially realized, you are not far from depression, which threatens suicide. Having not passed the Unified State Exam, the teenager thinks that this is a shame, his life is over, he won’t go anywhere now, he will be drafted into the army. He is ashamed that he did not live up to expectations. Those who are especially suspicious and exhausted from the stress of recent months swallow pills, throw themselves under cars, and step out the window. To exclude such a scenario, understanding and loving parents should always be nearby.

Neurotic reactions

Autonomic disorders:

dizziness;
muscle twitching and cramps;
increased heart rate;
chest pain;
pressure surges;
lack of air;
gastrointestinal disorders;
increased sweating.

Emotional disturbances:

unstable mood;
irritability;
decreased performance;
self-doubt, self-criticism, increased demands on oneself;
feeling of hopelessness, pessimism;
depression;
increased level of anxiety.

Neurotic reactions characteristic of a youth crisis are unstable and multisystem in nature.

Youthful maximalism

This is one of the main signs of the crisis of 17 years, which manifests itself:

categorical judgments;
intractability;
stubbornness;
excessive self-confidence;
the desire not to be like everyone else;
inflated demands on oneself and others;
uncompromisingness;
inadequate perception of criticism, when the slightest remark seems to be a real declaration of war;
excessive passion in defending one's opinions and arguments;
dividing the world into white and black, people into good and bad, without intermediate options or halftones;
desire to have the best.

Psychologists explain youthful maximalism by selfishness, lack of experience and flexibility of thinking.

What to do for adults

General recommendations

Vygotsky believed that during the crisis of 17 years, parents can only work in two directions:

help a teenager overcome fears;
show tolerance to youthful maximalism, without entering into conflict and without accusing him of being categorical and selfish.

Modern psychologists have expanded the recommendations of the famous Soviet psychologist and given more detailed advice to parents of 17-year-old boys and girls to overcome the age crisis:

Don't ignore teenage fears. Have heart-to-heart conversations and dispel them.
React adequately to manifestations of youthful maximalism: be patient with overly critical judgments, try to smooth them out.
Don’t make mistakes yourself (it’s stupid to forbid a 17-year-old son to drink beer in groups if his parents regularly gather their friends at home for a far from sober feast).
Accept the fact of growing up, do not keep children near you, let them go into independent life.
Respect their own opinion, welcome independence.
Help with career guidance.
Create a comfortable environment at home.
Whenever possible, spend more time together: travel, walk, visit, participate in events.

To make the crisis easier, it is extremely important for parents to play their role to the maximum in choosing the future fate for the teenager. Firstly, you need to create all the conditions for high-quality preparation for exams. If necessary, hire tutors so that the teenager feels confident. Secondly, help with career guidance, give advice, and travel in advance to educational institutions to which you plan to enroll.

Some tips...

...for parents of young men:

build self-confidence;
pay sufficient attention to physical development;
fight lethargy and inertia - for a young man, these traits in the future will result in problems with employment and financial solvency;
ensure that the son does not develop bad habits and does not become addicted to games (computer and gambling);
teach how to handle money;
don’t coo and don’t be too tender (especially for mothers who continue to treat their sons like little children);
Fathers should spend more time with their sons, instilling strength of character in them.

...for parents of girls:

teach housekeeping, prepare for the role of mother and wife;
reinforce the basics of self-care and hygiene rules;
the mother must establish a trusting relationship with her daughter so that she can tell her about her problems;
the father needs to show maximum respect and tenderness to his daughter, cultivating femininity in her, and be moderately strict;
to form a sense of self-esteem so that the girl is not frivolous and does not become a toy in the wrong hands;
provide a certain level of freedom, but at the same time control behavior and social circle.

The mother of a 17-year-old girl should pay special attention to her sex education. Don't think that this is what teachers do in schools. This is the direct responsibility of parents. Early sexual activity, pregnancy or abortion at this age will have the most negative consequences for both the psyche and physical health.

Consequences

High anxiety and the impact of frequent stressful situations on the fragile teenage psyche often result in dire consequences for health. Against the background of constant worries, when the child does not feel support from the outside, the following may occur:

psychosomatic disorders: increased or, conversely, too low body temperature, asthenia, headaches, disturbances in the functioning of the stomach, skin rashes;
neuroses, psychoses, obsessive-compulsive disorder;
sleep disturbances, including sleep apnea;
panic attacks, phobias;
tendency to hysteria;
social maladjustment;
exacerbation of chronic diseases (gastritis, neurodermatitis, allergies);
alcoholism and drug addiction, gaming addiction;
suicide.

The age crisis of 17 years is often complicated by the fact that parents themselves experience stress against the background of exams and the admission of children.
In this state, they often need outside help themselves. So family consultations with a psychologist should not be neglected in such situations. You might also like:
While many 17-year-olds are looking forward to a bright future beyond high school, others are afraid to enter the adult world. Even parents may find that raising a 17-year-old can be a little scary.

For example, you may wonder if you have taught your teen everything he needs to know to become a responsible adult. Of course, think about their development and help them accordingly to ensure they are ready for the real world.

New psychological phenomena at 14–16 years old

A teenager, of course, does not have the experience of parents. However, at 14–15 years old, the child’s logical and analytical abilities are almost the same. Therefore, a teenager poorly perceives the orders of his relatives when he does not see any logic in the commands.

Teenagers of this age are very aware of insincerity. If parents feel angry because of their child’s behavior and say that they are offended, then the teenager will immediately feel that they are not being honest with him. Psychology is a boring concept for teenagers. But it is she who develops their intuition and sensuality.

Physical development at 17 years old

Most men and women are fully developed by the age of 17. They have reached sexual maturity and reached full height. 1 However, boys can continue to develop muscles.

They may also develop more hair on their face and armpits, and their voices may continue to get quieter. Body image issues often arise at this age as some teens are unhappy with the physical changes they have gone through. 1 Acne may also become common.

Major milestones

Reached their full height
Completed puberty
Boys may still experience muscle development

Advice for parents

Talk to your teen about good health, not appearance. Focus on eating nutritious foods rather than dieting or gaining weight. 1

How to behave correctly with a teenager?

It is important to maintain a middle ground between “freedom and necessity.” Doesn't become a dictator giving commands. The main thing is that such tactics are completely ineffective, because a teenager is not a small child for whom parents are the highest authority.

Firstly, the teenager may obey, but reluctantly. And secondly, a teenager who is accustomed to obeying his parents will not learn to independently look for solutions to problems and will not acquire leadership qualities.

However, it is also impossible to give a teenager unlimited freedom. Otherwise, the teenager will have problems with a sense of responsibility. Parents must clearly outline the boundaries of what is permitted. It is important that the teenager agrees with these limits, accepts them, and understands why they are needed.

At the same time, parents should take into account the interests of the child and rudely not impose their own understanding of boundaries. It is stupid, for example, to try to prove that littering in your own room is a “crime.” A teenager perceives the mess “in his native territory” differently than his relatives. In his mind, it doesn’t fit in any way with the “mess in his head.” The teenager simply believes that he has the right to decide for himself whether to clean the room or not. For him, it is a matter of personal choice, not “morality.” This often manifests itself in adolescents aged 15 and is more typical for the psychology of boys.

Emotional development at 17 years old

Turn 17 is an interesting fork in the road for many teenagers. Some of them smoothly move towards adulthood. They become increasingly responsible and strive to become independent.

Others, however, fear the reality of adulthood ahead. Some of them seem lost and confused about the future. They may even struggle to be responsible in their homework, chores and daily responsibilities and may be afraid of becoming an adult.

For the most part, the 17-year-old's mood is calmer than in his earlier teenage years. This is due to fewer hormonal changes and a greater sense of control. But that doesn't mean teens won't struggle with their emotions when faced with a big problem. Whether they're dealing with a broken heart or college rejection, many 17-year-olds are facing adult-level challenges for the first time.

Likewise, most 17-year-olds are goal-oriented. They begin to imagine the kind of lifestyle they want to create after school. So make sure you give them the opportunity to understand who they are and what they want to do.

Major milestones

Show more independence from your parents
Have deeper abilities to develop closer relationships
Take less risks

Advice for parents

Letting your teenager drive, get a job, and stay home alone at night are just a few steps toward becoming an adult. 1 It is also important to rein them in, especially if they make poor choices.

How can a parent survive a childhood crisis?

Try to understand the needs of the child in the current age crisis;
Try to look at what is happening not only from your position, but also from the child’s position;
Adapt to the child. Often the pronounced course of an age-related crisis in a child is associated with the incorrect behavior of the parents themselves towards him;
Be consistent. Establish prohibitions where they threaten the life and health of the child. Do not change your decisions because the child cries or begs;
Motivate your decisions in a child-friendly language;
Stay calm in any situation!

Social development at 17 years old

Most 17 year olds form lasting relationships. They develop close friendships and are less likely to switch between clicks. They also understand the importance of being reliable. When they make a promise to their friends, they want to fulfill their obligations.

Your teen may spend most of their free time with friends, and when they are home, they may prefer to be alone in their room. 1 Parent-teen relationships may also change slightly at this age. For some, this may mean moving away from their parents as they gain independence, but for others, it may mean moving closer to their parents as their desire to rebel wanes.

Major milestones

Finding intimacy
Want adult leadership roles
Able to take on responsibilities

Advice for parents

Set clear dating rules and talk often about healthy relationships, safe sex, consent, and dating.

Crisis 3 years

At three years old, parents must help the child overcome this age threshold - a period when the personality is rebuilt and the child can change his views on the world. Sometimes he becomes incomprehensible to his parents, and his actions become unpredictable.

Your baby begins to separate himself and the world around him. This is the so-called “I myself” period, when the child searches and tries to understand his “I” and forms his internal positions. This is a period of realizing who I am to others. A child who previously felt like the center of the entire universe suddenly discovers that he is only one of many universes surrounding him.

During this period, such personal values as a sense of internal order, the ability to make decisions in one’s life, self-confidence, and self-sufficiency are being developed. It is now very important for a little person to understand any independent action as his own choice without the use of adults’ persuasion, the carrot and stick method. The best solution is to give the child the opportunity to do what he sees fit, giving him a choice without choice. Those. we offer him a choice of 2-3 options for actions that are beneficial and correct for us in advance, but at the same time he feels his independence.

Cognitive development at 17 years old

By the age of 17, most teenagers have good organizational skills. As a result, they can successfully juggle extracurricular activities, part-time work, and studies. But even though many 17-year-olds think they are adults, their brains are not yet fully developed. Thus, although they may have skills in regulating their impulses, they may still behave recklessly at times.

Most 17-year-olds also think about the future. They begin to make more concrete plans for college and life after high school. 1 V

Fluid intelligence is also achieved at this age, which means that 17-year-olds have an improved ability to cope with new problems and situations. 2

Speech and language

Most 17 year olds can communicate like adults. However, they may not ask for clarification or speak if they do not understand a word or the meaning of a phrase.

Slang is also common among teenagers and can have more meaning than formal language at this age. Meanwhile, some 17-year-olds still have trouble understanding double negatives. And although their attention span has increased, they often lose sight of long and complex questions.

Play

Play for a 17-year-old might include going to a restaurant with a friend or participating in a hobby. Many 17-year-olds engage in the same leisure activities as adults. And most of them have developed hobbies and interests that allow them to relax.

Major milestones

Can communicate like an adult
Use slang words often
Coping with new problems and different situations better than in the past

Advice for parents

Encourage your 17-year-old to read for fun. Reading helps develop a teenager's vocabulary and also improves his or her writing skills.

You were born in 2004 or 2005

2004 — Bloodless revolutions took place in Georgia, Ukraine, and Kyrgyzstan, as a result of which more democratic leaders came to power. 1st of May. The European Union has expanded its scope with the inclusion of ten new countries. June. The world's largest social network - Facebook - has been created.

2005 - 5 January. Eris, the largest of the dwarf planets in our solar system, has been discovered.

2006 - March 29. The first total eclipse of the sun in the 21st century could be observed in Russia. 24 August. Scientists have stripped Pluto of its planetary status. This decision was made at the congress of the International Astronomy Union in Prague, Czech Republic.

2007 — Genetics have discovered modifications in the human body that are responsible for the development of certain diseases. After DNA analysis, it became possible to identify a predisposition to certain diseases.

2008 - February 17. Kosovo declared independence from Serbia. 8 August. Military operations began in South Ossetia. November 4. Presidential elections took place in the United States. The first black president in the history of the state, Barack Obama, became the head of the state.

2009 — August 17. A disaster occurred at the Sayano-Shushenskaya hydroelectric power station. Hundreds of people became victims. The cause of the problems was a series of shortcomings and a failure in the redistribution of electricity in the power system.

2010 - 18th of March. Russian mathematician Grigory Perelman proved the Poincaré conjecture, which was considered one of the unsolvable Problems of the Millennium. For this, the Clay Mathematical Institute awarded him a prize of $1 million, which he refused. April 10th. A plane crash occurred over Smolensk, in which Lech Kaczynski, the President of Poland, his wife Maria Kaczynskaya, the high military command, Polish politicians, as well as religious and public figures (97 people in total) died. The first living cell was created in which its own DNA was replaced with DNA created artificially. Humanity has received new tools for developing technologies for artificially growing organs.

2011 - 11th of March. In Japan, off the northeastern coast, an earthquake occurred, the magnitude of which reached 8.9. As a result of the earthquake, a devastating tsunami arose, as a result of which over 15 thousand people died, several thousand are considered missing. May 2. Osama bin Laden, the “No. 1” terrorist in the world, the leader of Al-Qaeda, who, in particular, is considered responsible for the September 11 terrorist attack, was killed. September 7. An international charter flight crashed near Yaroslavl. On board the plane was the team of the Lokomotiv hockey club, which was flying to Minsk. 44 people died, one survived. October 31. The seven billionth inhabitant of the Earth was born in Kaliningrad.

2012 - February 21. In Moscow, in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior, a scandalous punk prayer service of the PussyRiot group took place, three members of which were detained by the police. December 1. Russia has led the G20 (G20), a forum of representatives of countries with the most developed economies: Australia, Japan, Argentina, South Africa, Brazil, South Korea, Great Britain, France, Germany, Turkey, India, USA, Indonesia, Saudi Arabia, Italy, Mexico, Canada, China.

2013 - February, 15. A meteorite fell in the Urals - the largest celestial body that collided with the surface of the Earth after the Tunguska meteorite. Because of the “Chelyabinsk” meteorite (it exploded in the vicinity of Chelyabinsk), 1,613 people were injured. February, 15. Asteroid 2012 DA14 flew by at the minimum distance from planet Earth (27,000 km). This was the closest distance in the entire history of astronomy. March 13. The most powerful telescope on the planet begins operating in the Atacama Desert, Chile.

2014 — February 7-23. The XXII Winter Olympic Games took place in Sochi. 18th of March. Putin V.V. signed an agreement on the admission of the Crimean Peninsula and Sevastopol to Russia. This agreement comes into force from the moment of ratification by the Federal Assembly - March 21. October 26. Permanent winter time introduced

2015 - Jan. 7. A terrorist attack took place at the office of the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo in Paris, based on a caricature of the Prophet Mohammed previously posted in the magazine. 12 people were killed and 11 people were injured.

Other milestones

Seventeen-year-olds may experience a variety of things for the first time. Some of them get a driver's license and a car. Others take part-time jobs. Others may experiment with more risky behaviors, such as unprotected sex, alcohol, or drugs. 1

And for some teens, 17 is the first time they've experienced a serious romantic relationship and maybe even their first heartbreak. Also, beware of unhealthy dating relationships, including teen dating violence. Many teenagers have difficulty coping with problems similar to adults.

Useful hobbies

A teenager, no matter how much he rebels, still subconsciously continues to imitate his parents in many ways and maintains a spiritual connection. This feature of the teenager’s psyche needs to be used and interested in a useful activity. Teenagers are addicted people, it’s not difficult to do this. Depending on the child’s character and abilities, he may like:

active team sports. Teenagers love group recognition. And where, if not in basketball, football, volleyball is it easiest to win it? Plus, team sports are a great way to “dump” excess hormones;
for those who like to create with their hands, modeling is suitable;
Teenagers with leadership abilities and a desire to serve society can try to become a member of a youth organization based on their interests. There the child will learn to interact “constructively” in a large group, make a feasible contribution to the common cause, and lead;
for girls, courses on makeup, hairstyles, and clothing design are suitable;
Teenagers who love to share their own experiences with others can be helped to become video bloggers.

When to worry

If the thought of sending your 17-year-old out into the real world within the next year scares you, you're not alone. Many parents cannot imagine their teenager navigating the adult world on their own. But often between 17 and 18 years of age there is significant growth. And during this year, teenagers are ready to go to college, the military or work.

If your teen seems particularly ill-prepared for the realities of adulthood, you may want to talk to your child's doctor. You should also be concerned if you notice major changes in your teen's mood or behavior. Decreased grades, changes in sleep patterns, changes in weight or appetite are just a few symptoms that may indicate a mental health problem or another underlying problem. 3

Word from mentalar

As your 17-year-old approaches milestones like graduating from high school and his first year of college, you may begin to wonder if you've done everything you can to prepare him for life outside the home. But it's important to remind yourself that it's not too late for teens to learn new skills like managing money, staying safe, and even cooking their own food.

Proactively look for areas in your teen's life where they may need to sharpen their life skills. As their parent, you play an important role in guiding and teaching them to become the best version of themselves that they can be. And if you hit a few roadblocks along the way, don't be afraid to seek help from a pediatrician or psychiatrist.

The age when a boy or girl reaches 17 years of age is considered transitional before the onset of adulthood. Birthday wishes should be a milestone at the beginning of a new relationship. Parents need to realize that their child is changing and the principles of relationships must change. A 17-year-old teenager who is about to become independent must have both rights and responsibilities to his family. A trusting and warm relationship with a son or daughter at this age will remain so for life.

Conversation with teenage boys

Teenage boys perceive auditory information worse than girls. Therefore, psychologists advise parents (when they need to have a serious conversation with their son) to hold his hand or lightly touch his shoulder, look into his eyes. Then not only hearing is involved, but also other senses.

Eye contact is important, since young people perceive information more effectively with their eyes than with their ears. You need to speak in a calm, friendly tone. Short sentences and pauses are better perceived (there is enough time to answer).

Understanding the psychology of teenagers will help parents raise them correctly and push them onto the right path in life.

Psychology of the age of 17 years

A 17-year-old child faces the most difficult task of finding his place in life, deciding on professional preferences and the direction of development of his personality. Psychology emphasizes that at the age of 17 there is often an overestimation or underestimation of one’s capabilities. The role of parents is to provide help and support, as identity development can be painful and difficult.

The peculiarity of adolescence is that many are looking for an idol and role model. This can cause the formation of negative habits and destructive behavior. Adolescent psychology emphasizes that if a young person has not developed the self-discipline skills that will allow him to work on self-improvement, he may be tempted to distinguish himself through an awkward appearance or self-destructive tendencies. This age-related problem is especially often present in a child from a family with unresolved internal conflicts.

Information on how to properly raise a teenager can be obtained from the works of domestic psychologists; for example, you can build the foundations of education according to Vygotsky.

Features of raising boys

Seventeen-year-old boys are trying to assert themselves and prove their independence. Correctly formed earlier motivation allows you to actively accumulate information and train to apply it in practice. The manifestations of a mental crisis at the age of 17 are closely related to the inability to self-determine a place in life. Lethargy and inertia only strengthens the negative process and causes confusion and depression. The addition of bad habits worsens physical condition and appearance; the immediate task of parents is to explain to teenagers that destructive habits will not lead to success. The psychology of many guys at the age of 17 shows an uncontrollable desire for self-affirmation, it is important that it does not manifest itself as self-destruction.

This teenager may irritate an adult, but saying “grow up” and immediately get rid of problems will not work. Proper upbringing of a teenage boy will allow young men to fully demonstrate their natural inclinations and talents.

A boy's desire to become independent decreases if you give your son unlimited amounts of money. A mother who has communicated with a child and continues to communicate with a seventeen-year-old guy has every chance of raising an infantile and insecure young man.

Features of raising a girl

The symptoms of a crisis at the age of 17 will not appear too painful for a girl if she has previously developed a trusting relationship with her mother. An instilled sense of responsibility, the ability to take care of oneself and discipline contribute to increasing awareness of the value of one’s personality.

A strong sense of self-esteem will not allow a girl to become a toy in someone else’s hands. Parents should remember that mistakes made by a 17-year-old daughter can have more fatal consequences than when raising a boy. Having a child or having an abortion at this age will have a negative impact on the rest of your life. When raising a girl, you should provide her with a certain level of freedom of behavior, but there must be control over her social circle.

Risks of adolescence crisis

The crisis of adolescence in psychology is a normal period of human development, but their future life depends on how a boy or girl comes out of it. Sometimes a crisis turns out to be a very risky phenomenon, the reason for which is often the absence of understanding and sensible people nearby who are able to adequately perceive what is happening to the child and help him cope with it.

One of the unpleasant consequences of the crisis of adolescence may be incorrect professional self-determination. The reasons are different: a mistake with the choice, insistence on the part of the parents; enrolling not where you wanted, but where they took you or where you came without real motivation; admission “for the company.” Regardless of the reasons, after 1-3 years of study a person realizes that he did not take the path he wanted. In this case, there are two ways: quit and start all over again, or continue to study in a specialty that does not bring moral satisfaction. In the first case, time and resources are wasted on what turns out to be unnecessary training; in the second, a person spends his entire life feeling out of place and experiences constant discomfort in the professional sphere.

Another risk is the occurrence of deviations. As a result of constant stress, some older teenagers, following the example of older relatives or peers, may begin to “relieve stress” through smoking, drinking alcohol and psychoactive substances.

If you have problems with self-esteem and establishing contacts, there is a risk of difficulties in adapting to new conditions: the team, teachers, forms of certification and knowledge testing.

Complexes

An inferiority complex is a frequent companion of adolescence; it often becomes the main characteristic of the psychological characteristics of seventeen-year-old children. Girls and boys at the age of 17 often form an ideal image and suffer from inconsistency with it.

If for younger teenagers the assessment of others and their opinions are of great importance, then seventeen-year-olds rely more on their point of view. The desire to be like peers competes with one’s own individuality.

In order to avoid disappointment in their own appearance, parents need to take care of attending sports sections and dancing. The acquired flexibility and grace will contribute to increased self-esteem.

Herd effect

A manifestation of a mental crisis at 17 years old is copying the lifestyle and habits of peers. This phenomenon can take on a negative connotation if friends are prone to experiments in the field of smoking, drinking alcohol, and psychoactive substances. It is important for parents to take care of the right environment, since the teenager’s behavior largely depends on it.

Direct prohibitions can have the opposite effect, so parental wisdom and tact should be shown. It is necessary to instill from childhood the importance of one’s own opinion and the value of the individual qualities of one’s personality.

Love and sex

Love and relationships with the opposite sex often play a paramount role for seventeen-year-old boys and girls. First love at the age of 17 is a common phenomenon, but often at this age this feeling is mistaken for being in love or sympathy. Parents should explain that any feelings need to be checked; rushing to get closer can lead to negative consequences.

Physiologically, young people at this age are already formed, so it may seem that there is a readiness for sexual contacts. But only a few at this age fully mature morally and spiritually and are ready to take responsibility for themselves and their partner. Infantility entails mental trauma; to avoid disappointment, restraint is necessary. Adequate physical and intellectual activity helps balance hormonal levels and emotionality.

Unrequited love also brings a lot of torment; young people should be explained that the feeling is beautiful in itself and contributes to spiritual enrichment.

Psychological characteristics of adolescents - fundamental changes in everything

At the age of 12–17, a person actively develops: the skeleton grows, the vocal cords change, and sex hormones begin to be released.

The main changes occur in the brain. This is the root of the problem, the reason why teenagers are so unstable. The evolutionarily “newer” part of the cerebral cortex, responsible for critical thinking, the ability to plan, and act thoughtfully, “matures” later than the limbic system, which regulates the emotional sphere. This ancient part of the human brain is formed earlier. That is why in the behavior of a teenager, impulses and emotions dominate over reason.

Sex hormones are the main “weapon” of the limbic system to fight the rational part of the brain. Testosterone, the estrogen of teenagers, can completely drown out the voice of reason. Alas, these hormones not only arouse interest in people of the opposite sex, but also cause a desire to attract attention. Testosterone and estrogen are also the culprits of emotional swings, anxiety, and conflict. Well, together with the hormones of pleasure and stress (dopamine, adrenaline), they contribute to the emergence of a bunch of mental problems. It is the excess of hormones that is the main reason why bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other severe mental illnesses begin much more often during adolescence than in other periods of human life.

Important! Puberty is an inevitable phenomenon. There is no point in fighting masturbation and passion for strawberries. But in order for children to understand what is happening, parents must explain about the features of human reproductive organs and the importance of safe sex. This will protect you from unwanted early pregnancy and dangerous sexually transmitted diseases. If it’s difficult to talk, you should at least provide a link to the necessary information. The Internet is replete with it. Psychological problems of adolescence are one of the popular topics of discussion.

Choice of profession

The age of seventeen is a transitional stage before adulthood and professional self-determination is an urgent need; young people begin to think seriously about their future. Parents should remember that this important step requires inner sensitivity. A child cannot be forced to choose a prestigious profession, guided only by mercantile considerations. Full disclosure of abilities and talents will bring both moral satisfaction and the ability to ensure a financial position.

Moms and dads don’t need to strive for their child to follow their professional path. Each person has his own purpose, and the child needs to be helped to realize it to the fullest.

Peer opinion

Communication with your peers is very important, as it promotes socialization and the development of communicative skills. It is important that it internally enriches the son or daughter; for this purpose, control is necessary. Increasing parental authority will contribute to the ability to resist the negative influence of some peers.

Conflict with classmates can lead to the child demonstrating an aggressive mood only at school. The attitude of teenagers towards each other is sometimes terrifying; this phenomenon often reflects the manifestation of aggression and conflict in the family.

What psychologists advise

Advice from psychologists for successfully overcoming the crisis of seventeen-year-olds is as follows:

strive to establish trusting contacts with your child (we sometimes say unpleasant words to each other because we are offended).
increase your authority, which will inevitably lead to a positive influence on the teenager;

accept the fact of growing up and be ready to release your child into adulthood;

make a professional choice that inspires a sense of confidence.

The task of education is to instill confidence in one’s strengths and capabilities, as well as to create an atmosphere of emotional comfort.

Sources used:

https://ponervam.ru/krizis-17-let.html
https://mentalar.ru/razvitie-v-17-let/
https://nello.ru/vospitanie/vozrast/opasnyj-vozrast-17-let/

A more critical perception of one’s own actions, interest in “global” problems

14-15 year old teenagers begin to leave the small world of subjective perception of reality and evaluate their own actions more critically. Teenagers already know how to put off pleasure “for later” and understand that benefits must be earned. There is less egocentrism in actions.

Many “almost adults” are beginning to become interested in global issues, trying to understand why some countries are more successful than others, how the economy works. This helps to “reconcile” with parents, who can regain authority if they are well versed in such issues. Moreover, a 15–16-year-old teenager already thinks less categorically and is ready to treat opposing opinions more calmly.