Liberal style of pedagogical communication (or permissive).

Each teacher uses a unique teaching style in his teaching activities. But is it so unique or can they be classified?

Teaching styles

Teaching style is an established system of pedagogical methods, techniques and means of implementing the teaching process. Each style reflects the pattern of relationships between the teacher and students, the method of self-regulation, communication style, and so on.

In pedagogy, there are 3 styles of communication between teacher and student. We will talk about them. Try to determine what type of teacher you are.

The influence of parenting style on the formation of a child’s personality

Parenting style largely determines a person's destiny. First of all, it influences the nature of relationships in the family and forms the first stereotypes - concepts that a person will rely on throughout his life.

In the future, parenting style can affect other things:

• independence and responsibility;
• child's self-esteem and future fulfillment;
• school performance, desire to achieve;
• attitude towards people and the opposite sex.

FAQ

The following are answers to questions that arise from parents interested in aspects of raising their children.

What is an indifferent style of parenting?

This is the most negative parenting style. We deliberately didn't talk about him. In short, it is a combination of an absolute lack of requirements and ignorance of the child’s needs. The result is children who consider themselves absolute loners. In this case, parents rather hate their children and do not want to participate in their upbringing than love them.

What does a chaotic parenting style mean?

As part of this parenting style, parents often do not have a common view on how to behave with their children. They resort to either authoritarian or authoritative styles, mixing them. This is bad, almost as bad as the indifferent model.

What factors influence family education?

There are many of them. These are external factors (friends, school, communication with peers), internal (the atmosphere in the family, the model of relationships between its members). The former are uncontrollable, while the latter are completely controllable. The most important thing is to choose a competent parenting style. If a child grows as an individual, even uncontrollable negative factors will not be able to lead him astray.

How to set personal boundaries with parents?

We advise you to try to start noticing and recognizing personal boundaries, and protecting them with effective communication. Example: a parent enters the room without knocking. This is his habit. Tell him that this is not always pleasant for you. Say that you can do something very personal. Hint that he would probably also be uncomfortable if you entered their private room without knocking. When it comes to relationships with adult parents living separately, the pattern is the same. Example: a grandmother who likes to visit unannounced. Try to explain to her that not only can you not be at home, but sometimes you are simply too busy. The main thing is respectful dialogue on equal terms, and not reproaches and reproaches.

How to respect a child's personal boundaries?

The way you respect yours. Imagine that someone is constantly violating the boundaries of your personal space. Respect is simple, right? Always put yourself in the shoes of your children, try to think how they feel about this - first of all.

Classification of parenting styles

There are 6 main parenting styles:

• authoritarian;
• liberal;
• guardian;
• democratic;
• aloof;
• chaotic.

Despite the clear classification, in modern families there is most often a mixture of styles. Nevertheless, a person continues to learn and change under the influence of circumstances throughout life.

But, one way or another, one of the styles continues to dominate. And if its advantages for parents are obvious, then the disadvantages most often escape their attention. Read more about each parenting style and evaluate how effective the one you choose is.

conclusions

You see, if we have taken on the responsibility of becoming parents, then we must be responsible to our children for their future. As you can see, whatever we do when raising our own child affects his psyche and personal development. Children are defenseless and trusting, they take on faith what we tell them and carry into their adult lives what we have given them. If, after reading this article, you see shortcomings in your family parenting style, then it is never too late to correct something.

Authoritarian parenting style

This style is also called dictatorial and even dominant. Authoritarian parents are convinced that the child must be kept under a tight rein so that he can grow up to be a worthy person and achieve success in life. Therefore, the child’s opinion and wishes are never taken into account - neither in family matters nor in matters relating to his personal choices: profession, friends, birthday gift or side dish for dinner.

In families with an authoritarian parenting style, children, as a rule, grow up to be excellent students. They study a lot, attend additional classes and sections and have practically no free time. This is considered a blessing, as evidenced by high grades at school and entrance scores to a prestigious university.

This is where all the advantages of an authoritarian parenting style end, because parents are sure that education and profession are the main things a parent should give a child. It doesn't matter that he never liked law. The main thing is that he will earn money and provide for his family.

The mistake most often made by authoritarian parents is that they themselves try to decide what will make the child happy. At the same time, they start from their own experience and try to give him something that in due time could make them happy. In essence, parents strive to realize their own dreams and ambitions in their children.

In early childhood, the baby expresses complete humility and submission to his parents, because he is driven by fear - the fear of upsetting, disappointing or being punished. A child raised in an authoritarian style is doomed to one of two life scenarios:

1. Become “good”: comfortable, efficient, excellent in studies and work, but absolutely dependent and lacking initiative. A person who has spent his entire adult life making other people's dreams come true, who has no say in his own destiny, one day finds himself in a job he hates, with an unloved spouse and children whom he does not know what to teach.
2. Go against the parental system. If a child has a strong character, he will begin to rebel in early adolescence. Confrontation with authoritarian parents often causes aggression and often ends in hatred of the father and mother. Sometimes the hatred is mutual.

If you recognize the traits of an authoritarian parent in yourself, do not despair - it is never too late to reconsider your views on parenting. You can smooth out excessive authoritarianism by following simple tips:

• start taking an interest in your child’s preferences, for example, what he would like to eat for breakfast every day, and carefully prepare him a sandwich instead of healthy oatmeal;
• do the same with music, clothes and friends - let him surround himself with what he really likes;
• provide your child with at least an hour of free time a day: without household chores, lessons, family communication, etc. - this will help him decide on his own preferences;
• do not require a student to get A's in all subjects - only in core subjects: all excellent students in life are perfectionists, that is, anxious and neurotic individuals;
• when scolding a child, do not tell him how bad or stupid he is, talk about how you feel because of his actions;
• do not skimp on praise and words of love - they cannot be spoiled!

Family influence

What are the features of raising children at home? They are directly dependent on many factors. If we consider the ideal option, then mom and dad, brothers and sisters, as well as loving grandparents should be near the baby. The process of raising children in a large, friendly family leads to the fact that they certainly grow up to be self-confident people, capable of solving assigned tasks and adhering to traditional spiritual values.

However, life often makes its own adjustments. One of the peculiarities of raising children in single-parent families is the lack of male influence. This is an extremely negative factor. It is worth noting that the father’s role in raising a child is quite high.

His presence is important not only for boys, but also for girls. A mother in a single-parent family needs to provide her child with an example of positive male images

In addition, the baby must have the opportunity to observe and communicate with his grandfather, uncle or older brother.

Sometimes a preschooler has both parents, but no brothers or sisters are expected to be born. These families have their own characteristics of raising a child. The main common mistake parents make in this case is excessive care and guardianship over their child. An only child often grows up to be an infantile person with inflated self-esteem. Subsequently, it becomes difficult for such a person to establish normal relationships with his peers, spouse and work colleagues. Parents raising an only child in the family should remember these dangers. To prevent narcissism and selfishness from becoming the main character traits, psychologists recommend creating certain conditions for raising children.

At the same time, it is important that such children always have communication with a group of peers. But it is worth keeping in mind that the best way to avoid the development of narcissism and selfishness is the birth of a brother or sister

There are a lot of problems in raising children in a family. After all, the features of this process are changeable and sometimes simply unpredictable. The fact is that throughout life, various circumstances, the financial capabilities of the family and the health of its members change.

At the same time, it is important for parents to use practical pedagogy and find an individual approach to their child. This will help overcome the difficulties of upbringing

But at the same time, we should not forget that the behavior of parents and their attitudes aimed at the child makes a significant contribution to the formation of the growing personality. This type of influence is called parenting style. Let's look at this in more detail.

Liberal (permissive) style of raising children

The liberal parenting style is the opposite of the authoritarian one. It implies unlimited trust in the child, forgiveness, giving him freedom of action and choice, but at the same time a complete absence:

• control over the child's life;
• disciplines;
• readiness for resistance from other people.

Liberal parents essentially let the upbringing process take its course. It seems to them that freedom and permissiveness from an early age will certainly make a child happy and independent. In fact, this is not freedom, but connivance - the child completely lacks psychological and behavioral boundaries.

Boundaries are rules that every person needs for his own safety and comfort. The lack of boundaries leads to the development of self-doubt, lack of understanding of oneself and one's interests, impaired emotional intelligence, weakness of spirit and lack of productivity in any endeavor.

During adolescence, conflicts begin in liberal families. The child does not feel support from his parents, achievements are not expected from him - he perceives all this as indifference to his fate. Problems begin in school, and teenagers often choose bad company.

In adulthood, people raised in a liberal style find it difficult to decide on a profession and start a family. They are loners in life, because any social group lives by rules that are alien to him.

In order to prevent the negative consequences of liberal upbringing, it is important for parents to understand their mistakes in time and adjust their approach.

First of all, it is necessary to develop rules that the child and the rest of the family will follow.

Discipline implies authority, which a child needs as a guide in life. Earning authority is not easy - you will need endurance, consistency of action and a positive personal example.

Along with discipline, take a sincere interest in your child's life. This can be done by following simple rules:

1. 3 minute rule. The first three minutes after meeting your child, listen to how his day went, do not be distracted by other things - it is important to share with your child the emotions of the school day, while he wants to share them with you.
2. When asking him about school and studies, focus on the positive aspects: what interesting things happened in class, what he would like to study more deeply, what he likes about his friends and teachers, etc.
3. Before going to bed, sum up the results of the day, noting the child’s achievements, how he surprised you, pleased you, be sure to say that you are proud of him and love him very much.

Minuses

1. Since the child’s freedom is elevated to an absolute level, and his needs and desires are always satisfied, such children are very spoiled. And if inside the family with its attitudes this can somehow be solved, then outside - in kindergarten, school - personal freedom turns out to be a not very pleasant side for both those around them and the children themselves.
2. The absence of any prohibitions can ultimately play a cruel joke on the child. Solid rules for kids are like beacons by which they navigate; they must be immediately identified. Children raised in a liberal style do not understand that freedom is, first of all, responsibility; they do not know how to be demanding of themselves, and they themselves suffer from this. Such children are emotionally unstable and, when faced with prohibitions, can respond with aggression, hysterics, and sometimes become depressed from the “imperfection of the world.”
3. The conviction that “everyone is obliged to accept and love me” is crushed by severe disappointment. Demanding exclusive treatment, children face harsh opposition and experience difficulties in communication.
4. Growing up, a boy or girl turns out to be infantile, irresponsible, and completely unadapted to the realities of life. They think that solving their problems is the job of others. Often such young people cannot complete their education and in adulthood still live with their parents (which is not always fun for the latter, since the invasion of their personal space by grown-up children does not cause delight).
5. Natural disobedience, which arises from the lack of boundaries and punishments, becomes a subject of trade. Does it bother Dad that I play catch while he's working? Let him give you some candy. Moreover, over time, the stakes grow, and sweets are no longer enough.
6. Confidence in one's own uniqueness gives rise to inflated expectations from life for the most ordinary actions. For example, a child may think like this: after all, I go to these boring lessons every day, for this alone I should be given an A. As adults, such people will expect a promotion for simply going to work every day, and a diamond ring for cooking.

Nurturing parenting style (overprotection)

Overprotection in simple words is excessive guardianship. The main mistake of parents with this style of parenting (most often mothers) is that they are not able to see the line between adequate care and excessive care.

A child raised in a protective style never washed his socks, did his dishes, did not go out after 9 pm and did not go to summer camp.

Parents who surround their beloved child with such care are in fact mortally afraid that something bad might happen to him, so his whole life is a complete set of restrictions with the bonus of household services.

Overprotective parents often do not realize that freedom and independence are necessary for the harmonious development of the individual. Gradually “letting go” of the child is as important as feeding healthy food - this is the main condition of growing up.

Consequences of overprotection:

• infantilism;
• egocentrism;
• difficulties in career and family;
• arrogance;
• laziness;
• helplessness.

To prevent these consequences, it is necessary to reduce the degree of your care and give the child more personal responsibility. Here are some practical tips:

• involve your child in household chores, start with self-service: let him make the bed, put away his things and wash the dishes - from the age of 6-7 he is ready to do this on his own;
• encourage any initiative, unless it poses a direct threat to life;
• show sensitivity to the people he calls his friends - give him the opportunity to determine for himself who is good and who is bad;
• allow your child to make mistakes and be responsible for them (if you didn’t buy bread, eat porridge instead of a sandwich, if you brought a bad mark, negotiate with the teacher and correct it).

Providing freedom and supervision

Authoritative parents ensure that their children get the freedom they need, but also monitor their situation. They do not allow their children complete freedom, since complete freedom may allow them to be derailed from their goals or distract them, however, for minor decisions and some actions, they give a certain degree of dependence.

For example - Your child wants to go to a party with his friends. You ask him about the meeting location, what time he will be back, and whether drinks will be involved (since you wouldn't allow an underage child to drink). If you feel something is unusual, ask his older siblings or one of your family members or your neighbors to keep an eye on him while he is away.

Authoritative or democratic parenting style

In its pure form, the democratic style of education is considered the most optimal. Children raised in this style grow up psychologically healthy, developing harmoniously and entering adulthood without fear.

Authoritative parents tend to encourage the child’s initiative and independence, exercising invisible control over his life. In democratic families, parents discuss their interests with their children, analyze their actions and find solutions together.

From childhood, a child is accustomed to discipline and respect for people and their work, therefore they trust him and do not limit his freedom. At the same time, each violation of the rules entails discussion and certain consequences: if you didn’t clean up after yourself, you were left without a tablet.

But, unlike the authoritarian parenting style, the child does not feel bad - he only realizes that he broke a rule and was responsible for his action. It will never occur to him that they began to love him less after that.

The only downside to the authoritative parenting style is that it is quite rare. Nevertheless, parents, like all living people, tend to get tired, nervous, sick and have circumstances that do not allow them to pay enough attention to their child.

However, if you adhere to democratic views in raising children, then you are on the right track, and your children have every chance of becoming happy and successful adults.

Family and child development

In preschool childhood, the child, due to his initial dependence, does not oppose the adult, but, first of all, learns to adapt to him as a natural condition of existence. When does a child begin to declare his “selfhood”, when he begins to oppose himself to others, asserting “I myself!”, “I will!”, “I will not!”, “I want!”, “I don’t want!” , adults naturally change their ways and raise their style of communication with the child to an adult manner. Of course, this happens gradually, following the developing “self” of the child and its individual manifestations, indicating ongoing changes in communication.

Family communication During the period when a child begins to go to school, the new social situation in which he finds himself leads to the fact that the style of communication that has developed in the family with the child acquires new nuances.

The authoritarian style, which implies strict leadership, suppression of initiative and coercion, finds its justification in the need to subject the child to school discipline. Shouting and physical punishment are a typical form of expression of an adult's power over a child. At the same time, love for the child is not excluded, which can be expressed quite expressively. In such families, either insecure, neurotic people grow up, or aggressive and authoritarian people - in the likeness of their parents. At school, these personality traits appear in relationships with peers.

The liberal-permissive style implies communication with the child on the principle of permissiveness. Such a child does not know any other relationship except for asserting himself through the demands of “Give!”, “Me!”, “I want!”, whims, demonstrated grievances, etc. Connivance leads to the fact that he cannot develop into a socially mature personality. What is missing here is the most important thing that is necessary for the proper social development of a child - an understanding of the word “need”. In such a family, an egoist is formed who is dissatisfied with the people around him, who does not know how to enter into normal relationships with other people - he is conflictual and difficult. At school, a child from such a family is doomed to fail in communication - after all, he is not accustomed to giving in, subordinating his desires to common goals. His social egocentrism does not allow him to normally master the social space of human relations.

One of the variants of the liberal-permissive style in the family is overprotection.

The overprotective style initially deprives the child of independence in physical, mental and social development. In this case, the family completely fixes its attention on the child: due to the possible threat of an accident or serious illness; due to the desire to compensate for one’s failures with the child’s future successes; because of the assessment of their child as a child prodigy, etc. In such a family, parents dissolve in the child and devote their entire lives to him. Voluntary sacrifice neuroticizes parents; they begin to hope for their child’s gratitude in the future, without seeing gratitude in the present; they suffer, not realizing that they are raising an infantile, insecure, also neurotic person, completely devoid of independence. Such a child constantly listens to his feelings: does his “head,” “tummy,” or “neck” hurt? Diminutive names for parts of his body will remain in his vocabulary for a long time and will evoke an ironic attitude from his peers. And infantile and dependent behavior will deprive him of the opportunity to communicate with them on equal terms. He will take a subordinate position, finding himself a patron among his classmates.

A value-based attitude towards a child with high reflection and responsibility for him is the most effective parenting style. Here the child is shown love and goodwill, they play with him and talk about topics that interest him. At the same time, they do not put him on his head and ask him to take others into account. He knows what “should” is and knows how to discipline himself. In such a family, a full-fledged person grows up with a sense of self-esteem and responsibility for loved ones. At school, a child from such a family quickly gains independence, he knows how to build relationships with classmates, maintaining self-esteem and knows what discipline is.

The listed communication styles in the family, despite all their differences, have one thing in common - parents are not indifferent to their children. They love their children, and the parenting style is often continuous, passed down in the family from generation to generation. Only a family that has the ability to reflect on the child’s characteristics consciously seeks the most effective style of individual upbringing. Of course, the culture of family education should develop in families and achievements in this area should be passed on to future generations. After all, in our time there are so many opportunities to learn and advance in this regard.

An analysis of parenting styles will be incomplete if we do not indicate another style that is not at all aimed at education. We are talking about alienated relationships in the family.

An aloof relationship style implies a deep indifference of adults to the child’s personality. In such a family, parents either “do not see” their child, or actively avoid communication with him and prefer to keep him at a distance (psychological distance). The disinterest of parents in the development and inner life of the child makes him lonely and unhappy. Subsequently, he develops an aloof attitude towards people or aggressiveness. At school, a child from such a family is unsure of himself, neurotic, and experiences difficulties in relationships with peers.

The described styles of relationships towards a child in the family show how thorny the path of a developing child’s personality is. In real life everything is still more complicated than in any classification. Several styles of relating to a child may be present in a family at the same time: father, mother, grandparents may conflict with each other, each defending their own style, etc. In addition to the styles of relationships addressed directly to the child, his upbringing is unconditionally influenced by the style of relationships between adult family members.

The style of family relationships, of course, determines the style of raising a child. A serious social problem is aggressive relationships in the family, when aggression is directed at each member. There are many reasons for cruelty: mental instability of adults; their general dissatisfaction with life, family relationships, and work status; lack of mutual love between spouses, their alcoholism and drug addiction; just lack of culture; betrayal. Mutual fights, beating the mother, beating the child - this is the main background of the life of an aggressive family. Intrafamily aggression entails the formation of an aggressive personality type in the child. He learns to secure his place in the sun with obscene language, fists, aggressive attacks, and sadistic antics. Such a child does not know how to adapt to regulatory requirements; he does not want to obey the rules of behavior in public places and at school. Already at the age of six or seven, he provokes the teacher, strives to bring him to an extreme state of indignation with his behavior, and in the heat of the moment he can shout swear words, roll on the floor, and attack his classmates. In the classroom, a child from an aggressive family does not know how to find a place for himself. He lags behind in development, cannot prepare himself for learning - it is difficult for him, incomprehensible, uninteresting. He already understands that he is “different”, that he has already fallen behind, and takes revenge for this. This is truly a socially neglected child. A child from a dysfunctional family has the right to special attention - after all, sometimes it turns out that he does not even realize how kind and beautiful human relationships can be.

Thus, having touched on the possible living conditions of a small schoolchild in a family, we saw how small the probability is for a child to live in ideal family conditions, where adults understand the peculiarities of his mental and personal development. Only normal, mentally healthy, loving parents provide the child with a sense of security, trust and conditions for a normal existence.

Parental antagonism and aggression, which most often arise from alcoholism, drug addiction and subsequent general degradation of the family, are dangerous. Alcoholization of the family arises as a result of the pathological tendency of adults to alcohol or the negative traditions of drunken drinking that exist in the immediate environment. It influences the social behavior of people, and as a result - low labor discipline in all sectors; aggressive behavior towards others, etc. All this is observed and accepted (appropriated) by children. In such conditions, they get used to the fact that drunkenness and drunken fights are the norm.

In addition to the problems associated with the developmental conditions of a child in a complete family, there are problems of raising a single-parent family or an adopted child.

An incomplete family is a family where one of the parents, most often the father, is missing. Children from single-parent families, as a rule, are more vulnerable and complex than children from complete families. In an incomplete family, the mother is often neuroticized by her social status as a divorced woman or single mother. Indeed, it is difficult to maintain peace of mind when a grown-up child begins to stubbornly wonder where dad is or who dad is. Even an acceptably balanced woman who has formed a good emotional relationship with her child begins to lose her mental balance when confronted with her child’s direct questions. Although in our time the legal status of single mothers is completely protected and public opinion is quite loyal to them, the essence of their psychological status remains very, very complicated: the mother does not have psychological support from the child’s father, she has no one to share responsibility for her baby with. She puts all the problems on her shoulders. The result is a deprived child, a deprived mother. Such a mother cannot be balanced: she either caresses her baby, or takes out her frustration on him for an unsettled, dysfunctional life. Maternal instability creates in the child a feeling (or confidence) that his birth is undesirable. Meanwhile, the child needs a close friend - a man (this could be his grandfather, uncle, someone else from close or distant relatives; maybe a good friend of his mother's). It is important that an adult man establish a friendly, trusting relationship with a child and not betray this relationship or confuse it with his relationship with his mother. Both boys and girls need an adult man as a friend - after all, the child’s correct gender identification will only be achieved if he has the opportunity to compare the roles of men and women.

There is a separate, very relevant problem in our time - the new pope. A man marries a woman out of his heart and love. Marriage is a free union of two people. But if a man offers his hand and heart to a woman with a child, then he bears responsibility for this child. An adult has life experience, endurance, intelligence. A child at such a tender age as six, seven, eight years old has little experience, he is vulnerable, anxious, and jealous. He was already suffering because of the quarrels of his divorcing parents or because of his absent father and the mystery of his birth. The child may begin to defend himself - he is so unsure of himself, he is so afraid of an uncertain future with the “new uncle”.

Communication with the teacher.

A child of primary school age is highly emotionally dependent on the teacher. The so-called emotional hunger - the need for the positive emotions of a significant adult, and the teacher is just such an adult - largely determines the child’s behavior. The teacher’s communication style with children determines their behavior in the classroom during lessons, in the playroom and in other places designated for activities and entertainment.

During the lesson, the teacher has the opportunity to influence the class and each child individually through those accepted forms that are prescribed by the traditions and rules of the school. Typically, the teacher stands in front of the students in the class, and the children must sit and listen to the teacher as he explains. The teacher walks between the rows and controls the work of everyone when the children write, count, draw, etc. The teacher is busy in the lesson implementing a work plan for teaching children. Despite all the uniformity of the external aspects of a teacher’s work in the classroom, a number of typical styles of his influence on students can be identified.

The imperative (authoritarian) style requires unconditional, strict obedience, which is why it is called the rigid style. The child is given a passive position: the teacher seeks to manipulate the class, putting the task of organizing discipline at the forefront. He subordinates children to his authority in a categorical form, does not explain the need for normative behavior, does not teach them how to manage their behavior, and applies psychological pressure.

The imperative style places the teacher in an alienated position from the class or individual student. Emotional coldness, which deprives a child of intimacy and trust, quickly disciplines the class, but causes in children a psychological state of abandonment, insecurity and anxiety. This style contributes to the achievement of educational goals, but separates children, as everyone experiences tension and self-doubt.

The imperative style deprives the child of the opportunity to realize his responsibilities and rights as a schoolchild, suppresses initiative and does not develop the motivation to purposefully manage his behavior. Children whose behavior is regulated by an imperative style, left in the classroom without teacher supervision and without the skills to self-regulate behavior, easily break discipline.

The imperative leadership style speaks of the teacher’s strong will, but does not bring love and calm confidence to the child in the teacher’s good attitude towards him. Children fix their attention on the negative manifestations of an authoritarian teacher. They begin to fear him. All experiences associated with the sharp forms of manifestations of an adult sink into the child’s soul and remain in his memory for the rest of his life.

The imperative style of communication between an adult and a child in its extreme expression is anti-pedagogical and therefore unacceptable in the practice of public education of children.

The democratic style provides the child with an active position: the teacher strives to put students in a cooperative relationship when solving educational problems. At the same time, disciplined behavior does not act as an end in itself, but as a means to ensure successful work.

The teacher explains to children the meaning of normative, disciplined behavior, teaches them to manage their behavior, organizing conditions of trust and mutual understanding.

The democratic style puts the teacher and students in a position of friendly understanding. This style evokes positive emotions in children, self-confidence, gives them an understanding of the value of cooperation in joint activities and provides joy in achieving success. This style unites children: gradually they develop a feeling of “We”, a sense of involvement in a common cause. At the same time, it is this style that emphasizes the special importance of personal activity - everyone wants to carry out the teacher’s task himself, to discipline himself.

The democratic style does not exclude alienation as a temporary method for the teacher to work with the class. But this is precisely a temporary element of work against the background of mutual goodwill. This style involves the inclusion of all children in control of the general order. It is designed to ensure the activity of the child’s position and moral attitudes, gives him the opportunity to understand his rights and responsibilities, and involves the development of motivation for purposeful management of his behavior. The democratic style creates favorable conditions for the successful development of targeted discipline and educational motivation. This style provides the experience of self-government with the motive of creating and maintaining a valued environment - the working state of the entire class. Children brought up in conditions of a democratic style of communication, left in the classroom without the supervision of a teacher, try to discipline themselves.

The democratic leadership style speaks of the teacher’s high professionalism, his positive moral qualities and love for children. This style requires great mental stress from the teacher, but it is precisely this style that is the most productive condition for the development of the child’s personality. It is under conditions of a democratic leadership style that a child develops a sense of responsibility.

The liberal-permissive (anti-authoritarian) style is condescendingly weak and allows for connivance that is harmful to the child. This is a layman's style. Lack of professionalism prevents the teacher from ensuring discipline in the classroom and efficiently organizing the educational process. This style does not ensure the joint activity of children - normal behavior is simply not organized, children behave to the best of their upbringing, dragging even the disciplined along with them. This style does not provide children with the opportunity to experience the joy of joint activities; the educational process is constantly disrupted by willful actions and pranks. The child is not aware of his responsibilities.

The liberal-permissive style of communication between an adult and a child is anti-pedagogical and therefore unacceptable in the practice of public education of children.

So, the imperative style controls discipline, but distorts the development of the child’s personality. The democratic style requires greater professional skill to organize discipline, but is the only acceptable one for nurturing the positive qualities of a child’s personality while organizing his cognitive activity. The liberal-permissive style, although it does not overload the child emotionally, does not provide him with positive conditions for personal development.

Most often, teachers use the imperative or democratic style.

The imperative style is characterized by the teacher's aloof position in relation to children. Without feeling emotional closeness with his teacher, the child unconsciously seeks to compensate for the unfulfilled need for positive emotions. As soon as, in the child’s opinion, the opportunity arises to turn to his desk neighbor or someone else, he immediately begins communication on any occasion. Tension of willpower that is not encouraged by adults quickly tires and exhausts the child; he unconsciously strives to relieve negative tension. However, the vigilant eye of the teacher takes the violator of discipline by surprise. The teacher makes a remark and punishes the child.

Researchers observed teachers with different communication styles and studied the types of punishment children receive for disciplinary violations. It turned out that teachers with an imperative communication style make more comments, diary entries, and rate behavior as a “2”; more often they place the child at a desk, at the blackboard, or in a corner; more often they say offensive words to the child, etc. Teachers with a democratic communication style never tug at the child’s ear or exert physical influence on him. They make oral comments, looking sternly at the child who violates discipline, but, most importantly, they work with the class, organizing it for educational activities, creating cognitive interest.

It was found that children give different answers to the question “Why do you follow the rules of conduct in class?” depending on the style of communication with them by their teacher.

The imperative style of communication generates, first of all, a response that reflects the child’s well-being: “I’m afraid that...” The child is afraid of the teacher; he is afraid that the teacher “will shout”, “will call names”, “will scold”, etc. This style helps the teacher maintain discipline in the class, but it is unproductive in terms of nurturing the child’s personality. The child develops negative reflection - the ability to correlate his behavior with subsequent results and the desire to extract maximum benefit from this foresight for himself. The child tries to behave in such a way that the teacher does not see his lack of discipline; he acts on the sly.

The democratic style of communication primarily generates motives for maintaining a good relationship with the teacher, motives for educational activities, and cooperation with the entire class. The child begins to feel embarrassed about the remark because it is a shame to break the rules. He wants his teacher to love him, his parents to be happy with him, and his classmates to treat him well. He begins to strive to follow the rules, because this is his responsibility, giving him the opportunity to exercise the right to silence during the lesson. An experienced teacher will not tell a child: “Get up! You're behaving badly! He will say differently: “Who is stopping the class from working? Who is depriving us of the right to silence?” In this case, the child's behavior is assessed primarily from the point of view of his attitude towards others. The good behavior of everyone is interpreted as the key to the success of everyone. The democratic style develops attitudes towards positive reflection - the ability to correlate one’s behavior with subsequent results and the desire to structure one’s behavior in such a way that it helps the work of the entire class, the teacher and the child himself.

The teacher's communication style influences the child's activity. We will consider three types of child activity: physical, mental and social.

Physical activity is the natural need of a healthy, developing body to move, exercise and overcome all kinds of obstacles. Physical activity in childhood is a prerequisite for the child’s mental development.

The tone of a child, his need for tireless movement, his dexterity are indicators of health and the potential development of his psyche. A healthy child strives to move and enjoys physical activity. At the same time, he is curious and inquisitive. He craves knowledge about the world around him. The physical and mental activity of a child are in close interaction: a cheerful, healthy child is mentally active, a tired, exhausted child is no longer interested in anything.

Mental activity is the need of a normally developing child to understand the surrounding life: the objective world of nature, human relationships. In addition, mental activity includes the child’s need to know himself. All types of mental activity are carried out through reflection - a form of mental activity aimed at understanding the actions of other people and one’s own efforts.

Children of primary school age have a difficult time at school. It is difficult for them to subject themselves to new rules. Perhaps one of the most difficult rules is to sit quietly. The teacher considers his primary task to be the organization of discipline in the classroom, forgetting that children frozen in immobility are not the ideal of order. A passive child sits motionless for a long time and has little vitality. It is quite difficult for an active deskmate with a violent temperament to fulfill this requirement.

How can you help your child get used to the rules that he must follow? Communication styles with a child organize his physical well-being in the classroom in different ways.

Democratic style implies the teacher's complete focus on the state of the class and each individual student. Numerous studies have shown the great importance of so-called physical education minutes, games, dances and movements to music, included in the content of the lesson.

The child's desire to be disciplined should be rewarded with the right to rest. All types of familiar movements for the child are relaxation after intense inactivity.

The imperative style disciplines the class primarily in terms of submission to the externally established order - children do not speak and sit motionless. This style, as we have already discussed, alienates children from the teacher. It is difficult to imagine six or seven year old children who will joyfully take advantage of a teacher’s offer to jump and dance to music if they do not immediately trust him. They will, of course, jump, but their fun will be forced, not releasing tension.

Special studies have shown that the communication style that is characteristic of a teacher determines the measure of a child’s success in educational activities. Depending on the teacher’s style of communication with the class and with an individual child, the performance and success of cognitive activity and the child’s mental activity change.

The democratic style carries a call for cooperation and cognitive activity. Normativity, expressed in a form of confidential communication about the current educational task that is attractive to the child, organizes his attention and makes his memory and thinking work. A child, being in a state of mental comfort, turns to mental exercises with pleasure. He works on the task with pleasure, strives to answer and is upset when the teacher calls on someone else to answer.

The imperative style makes it difficult to cooperate and organize cognitive activity, since forced normativity does not allow naturalness in communication. The child, of course, works and solves problems proposed by the teacher. He also reaches out his hand to answer. But here additional motives appear that compete with cognitive motives. In need of emotional support from the teacher, the child seeks praise in itself as compensation for the tension arising from the teacher's communication style.

Research has shown that only a democratic style of communication creates conditions for the development of a child’s mental activity. Over the same period of time, the same children remember more easily, think better, and fantasize in conditions of a democratic style of communication than in conditions of an authoritarian style. The democratic style gives freedom of cognitive activity; the child is not afraid to make mistakes when solving a given task. This style helps the child even when he is forced to practice actions that primarily require volitional regulation from him. Although writing elements of letters and numbers does not require great cognitive independence and does not contain conditions for intellectual interest, the teacher, using democratic style techniques, successfully organizes this activity of the child.

An expression of trust on the part of the teacher unites the children into a single whole - “We are the class.” When a class works, each student strives to be worthy of this common community.

The social activity of a junior schoolchild at school is manifested in behavior aimed at maintaining and fulfilling the rules that are mandatory for the student, in an effort to help his peers fulfill these rules. The child’s social activity develops along with his mental activity, when, under the guidance of an adult, the child’s self-awareness is revealed.

During childhood, physical health is of utmost importance. It is physical activity that determines the success of the development of mental and social activity. The fact is that an adult who has lost physical activity can have mental and social activity, confronting the ups and downs of life. The child must be initially healthy. A child’s physical activity will largely determine his progress mentally and personally. The social activity of a child of primary school age depends on a number of conditions, and above all on the style of communication.

Source: Mukhina V.S. “Developmental psychology: phenomenology of development, childhood, adolescence”

Article on the topic Methods of family education

Alienated parenting style

Parental alienation manifests itself in indifference to the fate of the child. This style is characteristic of self-centered parents, self-obsessed, or suffering from addictions (alcohol, drugs, or gambling addiction).

In the first case, the parent puts himself, his career or personal life first, and the child for him is a hindrance that distracts him from the main goal, or a means of achieving it. Such parents give birth to children not because they want to have them, but for other reasons:

• the biological clock is ticking;
• under the pressure of someone else’s opinion (everyone is giving birth, and I need it);
• to keep a man/woman, to save a family;
• as a result of an unplanned pregnancy.

In the case of addictions, we are talking about a mental personality disorder, and the sick person is not able to perform parental functions.

In this regard, the child:

• feels unnecessary, superfluous, left to the mercy of fate;
• desperately loves his parents and tries to earn their attention and love;
• acquires complexes, his self-esteem tends to zero;
• tries to help parents, often takes responsibility for them - in fact, changes roles with them.

Children raised by alienated parents grow up withdrawn and hostile towards the people around them. However, they choose the same cold, distant or dependent individuals as partners, trying over and over again to earn love.

Psychological traumas acquired in childhood as a result of upbringing in an alienated style do not pass without leaving a trace. It is extremely difficult to cope with them without the help of a psychotherapist.

You can smooth out an alienating parenting style only by realizing the scale of the problem and taking a number of actions:

• move the vector of attention from yourself to the child;
• give him a feeling of need and unconditional love: attend events that are important to him, pamper him, fulfill his wishes, spend more time with him;
• keep your word;
• overcome your addiction.

PRINCIPLES OF INTERACTION

A boss who lets the work process take its course risks “earning” a negative attitude from both the team and senior management.

A liberal management style is usually associated with a manager’s negligent attitude towards work and causes negative associations. For some companies, however, a laissez-faire management style is optimal. This choice of leadership style is most justified when working with teams of people in creative professions: designers, illustrators, and so on. In this case, constant control and strict requirements only interfere with the work process. A liberal manager rarely makes proposals, but also rarely refuses if an employee shows initiative, so many ideas and creative plans can be implemented without hindrance.

To successfully work in a company whose boss has chosen a liberal management style, an employee must have the following professional qualities:

• responsibility for assignments,
• independence to make decisions,
• responsibility and initiative.

The leader of such a team shifts all the rights and responsibilities onto the shoulders of the employees, maximally relieving himself of responsibility for the work process and its results, so you must be ready to take it upon yourself.

In any company, it is extremely important for a manager to understand that effective communication affects absolutely all areas of life. Corporate trainings from the Igroks training center will help you find effective tools for your staff and create excellent relationships within the team between employees

A manager who has chosen a liberal management style will also not help with advice or otherwise interfere in the work process, so employees will have to make independent decisions, relying only on their professional skills and experience. A liberal manager also rarely offers fresh ideas, so if an employee is interested in his professional development and the growth of the company, he will be forced to take initiative, show patience and perseverance. The liberal manager himself must always have a “back-up plan” in case he does not come to the rescue in time and the team cannot cope with the task on its own; in this case, as a manager, he is obliged to think through ways of retreat and minimize the company’s losses.

A liberal leader can also be compared to a conductor, a mediator between his superiors and his subordinates. He waits for instructions from above in order to convey them to the team, showing a minimum of personal initiative. In this regard, he must not only understand the requirements presented well, but also be able to convey them to his subordinates without losing their meaning. It is also useful for a manager who has chosen a liberal management style to be able not to lose face in communication with subordinates, to be able to organize work so that he is not accused of inaction.