A lie is a belief that a person spreads consciously, knowing that it does not reflect reality. The concept of a lie is defined by J. Mazip as a deliberate attempt to hide or fabricate information in order to create in others an opinion that the author considers false. The meaning of the word lie is closely connected with the ancient Slavic language; from it came the Old Slavonic “lie” and the Ukrainian “lie” - identical words.
To avoid deception and not become a hostage to psychological scammers, it is useful to be able to identify lies. This explains the increased interest in the mechanisms of deception today. The works of Professor Paul Ekman, who also created courses in which students can learn to identify deception by emotions in 32 hours, are extremely popular. Based on his research, the beloved TV series “Lie to Me” was also filmed.
A method of hardware testing of truthfulness was also popularized - testing on a “lie detector” device. There are 3 polygraph interview methods: civilian - 3 hours, military - 7 hours, secret service methods - still kept secret.
Types of lies
A lie is any false information communicated by one person to another. Often people lie completely in vain. They distort the truth, try to embellish it, or suppress important details. Although there is no need to lie.
Depending on the goals pursued by the “liar,” the following types of lies can be defined:
- Unconscious. Being under the influence of strong emotions, a person does not realize that he has embellished part of the story with unreliable facts. Very often, young children lie unknowingly simply because they are not yet able to remember a large amount of information and resort to the help of their wild imagination.
- Deliberate. In this case, the person is well aware that he is lying in pursuit of his goal. Deliberate lies are not always used to achieve any selfish goals. It happens that people deliberately hide the truth, wanting to protect their loved ones. This is the so-called white lie. When, for example, someone hides their serious illness from relatives so as not to cause them suffering.
- Active. This is a type of deliberate lie that does not have a clear purpose. A person simply invents events that did not actually happen to him. Most often, this is done in a conversation with unfamiliar people in order to seem like a more interesting and intelligent interlocutor.
- Passive. Such lies manifest themselves in the suppression of facts. For example, a man who has been in a relationship with a woman for a relatively short time is in no hurry to tell her that he is married and has children.
- Pathological. This type of lie is characteristic of people with low social status. They invent a whole life for themselves in which they occupy a high position or have a noble origin. At the same time, the liar himself sincerely believes in it.
The most common reason for lying is fear. A person who deceives others, but does it unprofessionally, can be easily recognized by his facial expressions and gestures, and by his eyes. They will signal that he is scared.
Bottom line
Is lying bad or good? People often answer this question unequivocally with the word “no.” However, facts show that, despite the negative attitude towards lying, absolutely all people resort to it. The bottom line remains the same: deception has existed and will continue to exist.
Since being deceived is unpleasant, a person will continue to study the question of how to recognize a lie. This is a completely normal desire, since there is no escape from deception. At the same time, people improve their skills in lying when they themselves can mislead someone in order to gain some benefit or achieve a goal.
Who knows how to recognize a lie?
Astrologers say that among all the zodiac signs, Cancers are the best at recognizing lies. Why? The fact is that they feel the mood very subtly and understand the motivation of other people. In other words, Cancers have highly developed intuition. They sense deception without having any special knowledge of how to recognize lies.
Recently, the profession of a profiler has become very popular. A profiler is a person who recognizes lies by facial expressions, gestures, and demeanor of the speaker. People of this profession are in demand during business negotiations, issuing bank loans, when interviewing future employees, etc.
Their training system is based mainly on the works of such famous psychologists as Alan Pease and Paul Ekman, who for many years studied the mechanisms of lies and developed methods for detecting them. Based on their books, the popular series “Lie to Me” was filmed, the main character of which is an expert in detecting lies.
Some of Alan Pease's books, written with his wife Barbara:
- “Body language.”
- “The language of relationships.”
- “New body language.”
Paul Ekman's most popular books on detecting lies:
- Psychology of lies.
- Recognize a liar by his facial expression.
- Psychology of emotions.
These are quite extensive works. If you are seriously interested in such an activity as detecting lies, then I advise you to read them. In this article, I will tell you how you can identify a liar based on the most obvious signs.
Social functions of deception
They are also worth mentioning. Many experts, discussing what deception is and how to lie, note that lying is often a means of protecting and realizing the interests of certain people, classes, groups and sometimes even nations and states.
But this is if we think globally. In our reality, deception is most often used simply as a way to keep a secret or secret. And sometimes - as something thanks to which you can close yourself off from others.
Also, deception is often a means of increasing motivation. This refers to deliberate misinformation that can cause a surge of strength in a person, increase his self-confidence, and strengthen faith in his own capabilities. This is called the mobilizing effect. For example, a coach sets a weight for his student that, in his opinion, is too large for the bench press. And he says that he will help him, but let him just try. As a result, the student performs a full approach, seeing that the coach is really supporting the barbell, and then he says - he did not help at all, he was just pretending.
How to spot a lie
If you are not Cancer by zodiac sign, do not have very developed intuition and do not master the art of profiling, then carefully observe the interlocutor to recognize deception. An unprofessional liar will definitely give himself away. Especially if it is a Virgo woman. According to astrologers, they are the ones who absolutely cannot lie.
By facial expressions
During a conversation, look at the interlocutor and watch his facial expression. Scientists have found that a person's facial expression usually changes every 10 seconds. If the change of emotions on the speaker’s face occurs more often, then most likely he is lying.
Another important sign of deception is a discrepancy between a person’s words and emotions. For example, the interlocutor told you that he was sad, but his facial expression did not change and remained calm. Or he belatedly showed sadness on his face. For someone who speaks the truth, emotions and words will always coincide and appear synchronously.
Also, a liar may have an unnatural smile on his face, more like a wax mask. At the same time, the speaker stretches his lips too much, moving the lower jaw a little back.
By gestures
Unlike facial expressions, human gestures literally catch the eye. The main signs of lying are:
- excessive gesticulation if the person you’re talking to doesn’t usually behave that way;
- complete absence of gestures;
- the use of theatrical, feigned gestures.
Touching your eyes during a conversation can also be taken as a sign that they are trying to deceive you. At the same time, girls seem to correct their makeup by running their fingers under their eyes, and men rub their eyelids. Thus, the interlocutor avoids eye contact. However, this gesture can indicate not only a lie, but also simple fatigue.
Wanting to hide the truth, many people begin to touch their ears or scratch their neck. Moreover, this gesture is repeated quite often - more than five times during the conversation. Many people, when they lie, are very worried and worried. Their pulse quickens, they feel hot, and they sweat a lot. To cool themselves down at least a little, liars pull back or unbutton the collar of their shirt or sweater.
However, if a person is angry or upset about something, he will also use this gesture. To avoid making hasty conclusions, simply ask your interlocutor again. The person who is lying to you will most likely hesitate and remain silent for a while.
By phone
It is quite difficult to recognize deception in a telephone conversation, because you can only monitor the rate of speech, intonation, and volume of the voice. In addition, the connection quality may not be the best. Therefore, if you doubt what you hear, simply ask again, ask clarifying questions to catch the liar in his own contradictions and inconsistencies. Or ask for a personal meeting to personally observe the facial expressions and gestures of your interlocutor.
An indirect sign of lying during a telephone conversation may be coughing or clearing your throat. A person who tells a lie feels very tense, begins to sweat, and as a result his throat becomes dry. But this will not necessarily indicate deception.
Correspondence
It is even more difficult to detect lies in correspondence on social networks. After all, you don’t see or hear your interlocutor. The only thing that can be analyzed in an attempt to detect deception is text messages.
You can suspect that your interlocutor is lying to you if he:
- started writing too long sentences, cluttered with unnecessary facts;
- unexpectedly began to place punctuation marks and capital letters, although this had not been noticed before;
- Instead of short and clear messages, I began to write detailed and long comments.
A liar's change in writing style occurs unconsciously. In this way, he tries to convince himself that he is not lying, but is just making things up. At the same time, he is so carried away that when talking about some event, he describes it in the smallest detail. But most often we cannot tell in detail what we did yesterday.
Why do we lie
There can be a huge number of reasons why we lie. After all, a person is an infinitely complex psychological system. However, knowing the types of lies can reveal this secret and help understand the motivation and true intentions of the liar.
Protecting others
We lie if we don’t want to hurt the feelings of someone close to us. Sometimes we have to confuse others in order to maintain a secret.
Protecting ourselves
Some of us lie instinctively in an attempt to protect ourselves from pain and disappointment. However, this is quite selfish.
We benefit
We can lie in order to gain some benefit for ourselves. Energy vampires portray themselves as victims and suck the energy out of other people.
Attracting attention
Pathological liars behave in ways to gain sympathy and pity from others, as well as to attract attention to themselves.
Signs of a liar
How to understand that a man is deceiving a woman? It is enough to ask some questions and carefully monitor the person’s reactions. It is by gestures and facial expressions that a liar can be identified.
There are a lot of lies in life. But the most unpleasant lie is when it comes from close people. How to recognize it?
Avoiding answering a question
This may indicate that he simply does not want to say anything so as not to lie. Or he is afraid that he will be “pinned to the wall.”
The man shakes his head to the sides
This indicates that he in every possible way denies his own words.
- Frequently touching your face with your hands
- The pupils dilate, while the gaze avoids contact with the woman’s eyes
The gaze is directed slightly down and to the side.
Man's constrained behavior
He tries to suppress his emotions, so he becomes clamped and constrained.
Difficult answers to clarification questions
Often, it is clarifying questions that help determine whether a person is lying or not. He may say one thing at first, and after a while - something completely different. In your questions, specify certain details that will help check the man.
Frequent eye blinking
In one minute, a person in a calm state blinks about six times. The liar begins to do this much more often. In addition, there is a short pause before answering the question.
Confusing questions
Typically, such questions include those that require a specific answer: affirmative or negative.
Raise your eyes a little to the right and up
It is very easy to determine what a man is doing when answering a question - lying or remembering. Every person's brain is divided into left and right hemispheres. The left is responsible for memory, the right for imagination. If a man raised his eyes to the right, it means he is coming up with an answer, if to the left, he is remembering.
Excessive enthusiasm when describing certain events
Enthusiasm can manifest itself in changes, for example, in the tone of the voice, etc. At the same time, attention is drawn to certain objects. A liar does this to hide any changes in his behavior from the woman.
Do not forget that there are skilled liars in this world who are almost impossible to bring to clean water. The good news is that there are significantly fewer such craftsmen than ordinary people.
External signs that expose a liar
People, according to statistics, tell lies every day out of politeness, or to smooth out conflict situations. For example, a subordinate says that he was late because of traffic jams, and not because he simply overslept. Or a colleague praises a new blouse because he doesn’t want to offend. But if a person constantly lies, then the relationship becomes strained. Whether it is necessary to expose a liar - everyone decides for himself. But learning to understand when a person wants to lie is quite possible. There are a number of signs for this, identified by experts in the field of nonverbal communication.
Frequent touching of the face
The deceiver has already learned to speak evenly and calmly. But inner excitement gives way through the hands. A person, without realizing it, rubs his eyes, ears, straightens his hair.
Covering your mouth
It all starts with the sender of the false message rubbing his chin with his hand, then his lips, until he completely covers his mouth with his hand. Here psychologists identify two patterns. Either a person is afraid to say too much, or in this way passes his words through a kind of filter. In any case, this sign suggests that there is something to hide.
blinking
Perhaps this is a sign of fatigue and lack of sleep. But if these two factors are discarded, then this is another feature of the body that manifests itself when lying. The state of discomfort provokes frequent blinking.
Spinning objects in hand
This could be a notebook that a person moves from place to place. Or repeatedly rubbing your body, twirling your hair around a pencil, and so on. That is, actions that have only one goal - to calm the agitated liar.
Shifty eyes
It is worth mentioning here that only inexperienced liars who are afraid of being caught hide their eyes. Professional liars, on the other hand, look their opponents in the eyes without blinking. But “newbies” will do their best to find something more interesting to do. For example, looking at your phone for the hundredth time while scrolling through your feed. Or even hide behind a book from your interlocutor.
Cough
If a completely healthy person begins to cough frequently during a conversation, then this is a signal that he is deceiving. This is pure physiology, because under stress, swallowing often occurs, the oral cavity dries out, and involuntary coughing begins.
Change of speech
For those who know a person closely enough, it is not difficult to identify a lie. After all, there is an involuntary change in the timbre of the voice and the speed of the flow of words. If an opponent jabbers, it means that he wants to blurt out information faster so that no one will focus additional attention on it. If, on the contrary, he drawls out his words, it means he is making it up on the fly, looking for an excuse. By the way, for the same purpose a person can pause between sentences.
The greatest pain from lies comes from loved ones. People in marriage often resort to deception in order to maintain the relationship. A trivial example is when a wife, twirling in front of the mirror, wonders if she has gained weight. Naturally, a loving man cannot answer this question positively. The fact of deception is obvious, but the truth would hardly contribute to the harmonious development of relations. A lot of examples can be given. And this is the so-called lie out of politeness and to avoid a conflict situation.
There is an imposed stereotype that men, by nature, lie more often. In fact, this ratio is the same for wives and husbands. Women often lie about the true cost of dresses and shoes.
But, what is more interesting, beautiful ladies most often cheat due to illusions in relationships. Unlike men, women are rarely straightforward. She cannot clearly say what she needs or what she does not like. The usual “go away, I stopped loving you” most often means a completely opposite message.
Sometimes, a lie really makes it easier for people to communicate, both close and unfamiliar. Lies in small things often do not have global consequences. However, even a small deception forces a person to hide the truth and make up things again and again. This greatly harms relationships; the liar is afraid to spill the beans, so he is often stressed. And in order to successfully support the legend, you have to lie about every occasion. And it is rare that such sacrifices are truly justified.
