An egoist husband is a predetermined model of family relationships, and a woman can learn about this state of affairs both in advance (then the continuation of an uncomfortable relationship is her conscious choice, dictated by the fear of loneliness or the hope of re-education), and she can face selfish manifestations after the wedding (the importance of partner, the conqueror's instinct is satisfied and there is no longer a need to pretend to be kind and generous).
A secret revealed or attention not paid to the first signs of selfishness in a partner’s behavior lead a woman to the question of what to do if her husband is an egoist. There are a lot of options and the first thing that comes to mind is the severance of all kinds of relationships, which, in essence, will get rid of this particular egoist, but the problem of choosing such a partner and the tendency to build unequal interactions may be much deeper and cannot be solved by divorce. In fact, not only the husband is lazy and selfish, but all men tend to display these traits and by breaking off a relationship with one, you can get the same scenario with another partner.
Before taking such a drastic step, it is worth assessing the degree of criticality, reconsidering your own requirements and expectations (if they are too high, and you are used to being treated like an ancient Chinese vase, then a relationship with a mature person can really show selfishness on his part, although more your own egoism is relevant). Pay attention to the differences in gender psychology and distinctive features of perception, and the fact that the function of telepathy is not yet provided built-in for any of the representatives. Therefore, the option of establishing contact and trying to talk about one’s own desires and expectations can work, turning the selfish and the most caring spouse.
Character traits and behavioral characteristics of a selfish man
Each man has an individual character.
Selfishness manifests itself in different ways. But this behavioral feature has a number of common characteristic features.
Among them are the following behavioral features:
- An egoist very rarely asks a woman about her well-being, does not ask questions about her life, because he is simply not interested.
- Such a man will not even think of asking his wife if she has eaten, if she has taken medication, or if she is tired of looking after the children all day. He would rather ask (or even demand) to be “fed, watered and put to bed” as soon as possible.
- A selfish guy will not court a girl. He won't pick her up before the date, won't give her flowers, won't buy her a small gift. After all, he has, as it seems to him, much more serious reasons to spend time and money on himself. And “on oneself” is the key word here.
- When the woman of a selfish man does household chores (cleaning, cooking, ironing), it will never even occur to him to offer help.
- Without asking, without warning, he goes to have fun: to clubs, bars, on picnics with friends. He doesn’t invite his woman anywhere with him.
- An egoist is always also a narcissistic man. He loves to listen to compliments and praise in order to be convinced of his attractiveness and exclusivity. Although he himself never makes reciprocal gestures of attention.
- When a guy suffering from excessive selfishness is sick, he is always “almost on the verge of death” and is ready to write a will with a temperature of 37 degrees. However, if his beloved falls ill, he speaks very disparagingly about the fact that she, with a migraine, runny nose and cough, does not want to go to the kitchen and make him tea.
That is, male egocentrism in close relationships manifests itself in caring exclusively about oneself.
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Such a person is only interested in himself, but at the same time expects those around him to forget about their needs and desires for his sake.
Signs
Communication with an egoistic man deprives a woman of mental strength and exhausts her mentally. Therefore, most ladies try to avoid them in every possible way. The main signs that a man is an egoist in a relationship with a woman:
- Irresponsible attitude towards others. He does not fulfill requests, constantly ignores them, and tries in every possible way to refuse. But if he feels the benefit, he will definitely help.
- Narcissistic, proud, unable to admit his own mistakes.
- Emotional abuse. A partner with such a person is constantly subjected to moral and verbal humiliation.
- Makes decisions alone, without listening or being interested in other people's opinions. In any situation, he relies only on himself.
- He likes to be praised and does not tolerate criticism.
- He keeps everything under control. When he loses control, he behaves inappropriately.
- Wants to constantly feel cared for without giving anything in return.
- He asserts himself at the expense of the girl, constantly pointing out her complexes.
Another sign of selfishness in men in relationships with women is that a narcissistic partner is not interested in the feelings of his partner, her health, personal affairs and life.
Why do men become selfish?
Most often, male selfish people are people spoiled by female attention in childhood. For example, their mother fulfilled their whims at the first request, and when they grew up, they began to expect the same attitude from other women in their lives.
Of course, there are exceptions. Sometimes a self-centered man is a person deeply traumatized in childhood. He lacked attention, love and care at an early age. There is no clear framework in the matter of character formation; each case is exceptional and individual in its own way.
Set a goal
Psychology says that selfishness is instilled in a person from childhood, as a rule, in families where there is one, long-awaited, beloved and cared for child. It is almost impossible to re-educate an adult, but you can create conditions under which he will be forced to change.
The main thing is to understand why you need it.
Suppose, before the wedding, you failed to see that your future husband is lazy and selfish, but you still love him and want to save the family. But many women strive to re-educate their spouses only so that they do everything they want.
In this case, it is worth understanding more carefully who is really an egoist
