There is no secret that casual dating has a negative connotation. No one could come up with the right way to get out of such situations, but there could be so many negative experiences. Relationships become more complex if there were early connections before them, as they say: “friends who know you a little more than they need to.”
After your last relationship, there should be a certain pause before building one with your best friend, because knowing about your past adventures, it will be difficult for him to forget about them. If you neglect this, then it will almost always lead to failure. However, there are not only negative aspects, the reunion can be made long-lasting, exciting and full of love. Teaming up with your best friend is one of the ultimate tests when it comes to the limits of your friendship. While it may not be the best idea, there are some safe ways to achieve a comfortable relationship.
If you want to endure all situations while building a life together with the person you value, then keep reading to see the bright side of love with your significant other.
He or she has definitely thought about it
Surely, if you are friends with a young man, he has definitely thought about sleeping with you. There is not even the slightest chance that this has not crossed his mind especially if you are “his type”. Guys strive for the familiar, and they value comfort, they want a girl - a best friend, who could simply be there and support him in any situation. This way, the next time you catch his erratic gaze when he looks at you, you will understand what he is really thinking about.
What types of friendship are there?
Friendship implies a type of relationship between people, characterized by interest in each other, joint leisure and mutual support.
Friendship plays an important role in the life of any person and has a great impact on his well-being and health. The very realization that there is someone in your life who will always help with practical advice or warn against a fatal mistake instills in you a feeling of being in demand and needed. Even if you haven't started your family yet, having a trusted friend will ensure that you don't feel alone.
Surprisingly, friendship is a multifaceted phenomenon and is divided into several types:
- Partnership. This type of friendship is most often found between colleagues within the work environment. Colleagues united by one idea or a common goal can find a common language and begin to communicate more closely. True, all their conversations will most often revolve around the work sphere. If one of the friends changes jobs, then such a friendship is more likely to fade over time.
- Friendship relationships are built under the influence of long periods of time together. A striking example of this type of friendship can be considered the relationship between fellow students or neighbors. Friendship can also be called superficial friendship. People seem to communicate, share news on topics that interest them, but they don’t delve into each other’s problems and don’t plan to get even closer.
- Unequal friendship. You have all at least once seen an example of such friendship: a beautiful friend and a not so beautiful one, a successful leader and his wingman friend. Some people with low self-esteem often make friends with more successful and attractive people, hoping to increase their popularity. Unfortunately, time shows that in such relationships, the more prominent person uses the unequal friend to his advantage.
- Children's friendship. One of the most common types of friendships that can begin at a very early age. Children grow up together, learn new things, and if they find the strength to pass all the tests life has in store, they have every chance of maintaining their friendship for many years.
- Family friendship. This is also a very common type of friendship. Families can be friends with each other, sometimes even for generations. They go on vacation to the seaside together, meet on weekends at the dacha and often dream of becoming related through marriage between children.
- Spiritual intimacy. The most desirable type of friendship. People can meet and from the first minutes of conversation understand that they are kindred spirits. They don’t even have to finish the sentence to the end; they will already understand each other. Such friendship does not depend on external factors, habits or distance. Even if friends are separated by thousands of kilometers, they will still invisibly feel each other’s support.
Important
Friendship can also be classified as male and female, but the only difference is that representatives of the fair sex are used to sharing their experiences, complaining about life and asking for advice.
Who knows you better?
There is a deep connection between best friends, and this connection is not lost even when you call someone of the opposite sex a friend. They know you inside and out, and perhaps your conversations have become closer over the years. They may know who your first sexual encounter was with, and they may even know what your favorite position is. This can translate into the bedroom and then they will know what you like, what you don't like and why you do or don't do certain things. This is where your connection can come in handy. So, if you're going to take the risk, at least you can use what you know about each other to make your first time a memorable one.
If something goes wrong, you have other friends... right?
Just like in the rest of life, there are high risks when you decide to sleep with your best friend. This can completely ruin your friendship and you may never be able to communicate with this person again. But there is still a chance that your friendship is strong enough, and if something suddenly goes wrong, you will not lose your friendship. If this doesn't work out, then you always have other friends. Of course, this is not a final situation, but even if you are sure that your relationship is that strong, still think again. As a rule, friendship ends there. You may miss each other, but still the old relationship will not return.
Girlfriend Trap: 7 Signs You're Caught
The friend zone trap is a phenomenon as old as time.
And although many romantic relationships begin with “strong friendship,” it is often the case that the feelings are not mutual. It is a common belief that only men hang out in the friend zone. But no! There is also a territory here for women who are forced to experience the pain and torture of being “just a friend” for someone who is dear to their hearts.
If a man treats you wonderfully, but has not yet called you a sister or girlfriend during difficult times, you may be confused whether this is friendship or something more. Before drawing conclusions, try to evaluate yourself based on the following signs and find out whether the friend zone trap has slammed shut behind your back.
- He is extremely frank with you. Without a shadow of embarrassment, he tells you about those things that he would be embarrassed to mention in a conversation with his beloved. He doesn’t choose his words, isn’t shy about “hunting stories,” and doesn’t hide his demons in the closet. He feels at ease with you as with a friend. If he were interested in a relationship, there would be confused glances, awkward pauses and mega-correct topics in your communication.
- He often invites you not to a one-on-one meeting, but to a company of friends. If you are a frequent visitor to his circle of friends, or he happily goes shopping with you, to a cafe, or goes out on weekends with company, your rose-colored glasses may distort reality. Especially if this is the only time you spend together. A man in love wants to be alone with a woman and enjoy this communication away from prying eyes.
- He discusses other women with you. Can you name all his former and current people by name and probably know them by sight? No, he's not trying to make you jealous. He just feels very comfortable that he can share things like that with you just like he can with his friends. Besides, who will give the best advice and recommendation on how to behave with a woman, if not the woman herself! Convenient, right?
- Your communication is asexual. Neither goosebumps nor a hint of embarrassment appears on his part during accidental physical contact with you. Sometimes it seems to you that he even avoids it. And if he makes any attempts to touch you, then it is something friendly, humorous like a “high five” or rude pats on the shoulder.
- He makes you wait. You write to him, and there is no response or greeting from him for hours or even days. Don’t even try to defend the silent person and say that “he’s just busy.” When a man is too busy to respond to your message, it means he simply isn't willing to give you the time you deserve.
- He calls you friend. And it clearly emphasizes this. Men are more straightforward than us women. They don't bother beating around the bush. And if you heard from him that you are just a friend, most likely it is so.
- He has a woman. Remember the moment when you were in love: other men pale in comparison to that one. It doesn't matter how sweet and tender he treats you. Most likely, you also stand invisibly in the shadow of the lady of his heart.
Once done
There is a good chance that this situation could go along with the plot: “one and done.” There are two types of such development: first, after intimacy you will not want to talk to each other again, second, everything will not go exactly as you expected, but your relationship will remain the same. Obviously, the latter outcome is what most people hope for. And this could be your result too. Don't let the feeling of awkwardness become more awkward.
You could be one of the couples who defy the odds
You already know that so many things can go wrong if you decide to hook up with your best friend. But don't forget how much good can happen (don't regret what you didn't do when you get butterflies in your stomach at the sight of your friend). You may have just those beautiful butterflies that give you happiness and wonderful excitement. You can build even more wonderful memories if you let your feelings come out. Stay friends until you realize that the relationship has become solid enough. After all, this will not always be a negative experience.
How to start dating your ex-girlfriend?
Before getting back with your ex, give yourself time first. Memory is a thing where you gradually forget about everything bad that happened to you. But this takes time. Spend a few months without your girlfriend to see if you need to get her back.
If you still want to be with a girl, then you need to start by eliminating the reasons why you broke up with her. Understand that restoring the relationship will certainly bring back the problems that arose between you. You should be prepared in advance to eliminate and remove them, and not quarrel over them again.
If you decide to date your ex-girlfriend, then start communicating with her again. Do this gradually, unobtrusively, gradually entering her life. When communication becomes constant, you can start inviting her on dates and outings together. Do everything gradually and in increasing order. Look at the girl’s reaction, who will clearly make it clear what she wants and what she refuses.
Are you comfortable mentally and physically
Nothing is more awkward than having sex with someone for the first time, especially for women. Even the selection of clothes and underwear becomes a disaster on this day. With a friend it's a little different. Yes, there are nerves, but they are different. It's more like, “Oh my god, is that a smart idea?” rather than, “Will he be happy with my body?” They've seen you in a bikini, and maybe lingerie (so let's be honest, all the embarrassment is turned off when you're best friends with someone of the opposite sex). Mentally, he or she already thinks that you are the calmest person on the planet so that there will be no problems.
If no mistakes happened, then that's really great.
It is normal to refrain from any awkward action after the first time. If you start having feelings, don't let them know until you're 100% sure you're ready to deal with the consequences. Check your feelings over the next few days, and if you can communicate freely as before without feeling awkward, then the scenario can develop further. In the end, it's the right thing to do. What bad things could happen besides the obvious?
Your boyfriend
The desire to become a part of a man’s life can also result in the other extreme - the desire to become “one of our own” in a male company. At the same time, a woman strives to participate in all “male” activities on an equal basis - attend sporting events, some purely masculine entertainment, and tag along with a man to friendly meetings and get-togethers. And this only destroys the relationship, since he perceives it as obsession, a desire to control everything and a complete lack of his interests.
Firstly
, for your man you must first of all be a Woman. You can sometimes switch to the role of “girlfriend,” but it is your feminine side that enriches the relationship.
Secondly
, such behavior can cause nothing but irritation. Both your man and his friends. Sometimes they just want to be in male company, and this desire must be respected.
Be self-sufficient and find something you like so you don’t get bored while your loved one spends time in male company. And in joint meetings, the best strategy is to remain yourself. You don't have to try to become a “girlfriend” to his friends. You came to the company in the role of your man’s beloved woman. Stay in it.
If all else fails, then you will have a story that you can laugh about in the future.
Once you realize that this scenario is not for you, it is better to return everything back to the level of friendship. And if you know exactly what you messed up, it can become a funny story to tell each other later on. If all goes well and your friendship lasts for years to come, you will be able to look back and laugh at the fact that you were once more than friends. There's a good chance you'll both see the situation differently and laugh about how you imagined this unforgettable night would be.
Use social networks
You can easily find out what's going on in your friend's life if you just look at his social media page. Instead of asking vague questions, you can immediately ask about something specific, like a recent vacation or marathon. This will allow you to demonstrate that you are truly paying attention to what is going on in your friend's life.
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They already love you
You don't have to fight or compete for their love and attention because you already have it. Years of friendship have built you up well, and it will be a strong bond that won't break if things don't go as planned. You can always feel comfortable knowing that your best friend loves you on a completely different level than anyone else. So, even if this love is not romantic, it is certainly unconditional.
Treat phone calls like real meetings
Because you're not physically there, it's easy to start feeling like a phone call isn't worth enough attention. However, you should make every effort to call each other, even if time zones get in the way. Don't put off the call or put it off for too long - be attentive to your friend. This will allow you to maintain excellent relationships.
This could develop into a relationship.
If your connection is deep enough and you really want it to develop, then it can lead to a relationship. Every relationship has its rough edges, but you'll probably work around most of them thanks to your long-term friendship. This may sound too cheesy, but sometimes what you really need is right in front of you, so don't make quick negative decisions if your friend proposes a relationship, because you could lose your true happiness. Can you finally hear the wedding bells?
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