Egoism: how to recognize an egoist - stages, types, tips for treatment

If there are consumer people in your environment who only take but give nothing in return, perhaps they are selfish. To understand in more detail what selfishness is, read the article.

All people on our Earth are different in character, intelligence and other personal traits. There are individuals who are ready to make any sacrifice for the sake of another person. But there are those who love only themselves.

Who is an egoist? What is the philosophy of this quality? What kind of relationship will there be with an egoist and is a normal relationship with such a person possible? Find answers to these and other questions in this article.

How to recognize an egoist?

In any situation, an egoist strives to satisfy his own needs, regardless of the interests of the people around him. The negative qualities of an egoist are sometimes not immediately visible. To recognize an egoist, you must first pay attention to such behavioral features as:

tendency to blame others for one’s own failures;
inability to listen;
unshakable confidence in one’s own rightness;
ignoring comments;
tendency to brag;
attempts to manipulate others;
display of material wealth;
desire to be the center of attention;
the tendency to evaluate people by wealth, success, intelligence and other “status” characteristics.

If a person systematically demonstrates several of the listed signs, you have a natural egoist.

What is selfishness: is it good or bad?

Selfishness is bad.
Being selfish is good for oneself. Not a single such person will say that he is bad and will never admit that he is wrong. For those around him, an egoist is a problem, since such a person lives only for himself. People are obliged to fulfill the whims of the egoist, whether they want it or not.

Signs of selfishness include the following qualities and actions of a person:

When speaking, inability and unwillingness to listen to your interlocutor.
Enabling ignoring other people's comments.
For all your failures, blame someone, but not yourself.
The egoist’s favorite statement: “I’m always right, period!”
Boasting.
The egoist is sure that he is an exclusively ideal person.
Likes to manipulate other people.
He puts all his virtues on display.
Drawing attention to yourself.
Separation of people according to hierarchical levels.

Now it’s worth considering whether selfishness is good or bad:

Diagnosis: selfish - bad. Drawing conclusions based on all of the above, we can say with confidence that selfishness is negativity, nerves and manipulation. Selfish individuals are painfully narcissistic, they have too high self-esteem, and at the same time they criticize others who are trying to say something in their direction, challenging their superiority.
Selfishness is good. If we consider this concept from the point of view of human existence, then being a selfish individual is good. In this case, selfishness is the maintenance of the natural instinct of self-preservation. A person also needs such qualities so that he understands his importance and is able to realize himself, bringing his knowledge to a perfect state.

As a result, an individual who is selfish in nature may not feel guilty in some situations, since he is moving towards achieving his goal. But this should not turn into a habitual state or a consumer attitude towards other people.

Stage of selfishness

Stages are distinguished depending on many objective and subjective indicators.

For example, upbringing, age, environment, health, intelligence, professionalism and much more.

This is divided by age:

Infancy and Childhood/kindergarten, school.
Youth/study lyceum, institute, university.
Maturity/studying, work, marriage, children, academia.
Wisdom/studies, work, marriage, children, grandchildren, academy.

Most selfishness manifests itself for obvious reasons in childhood.

The lowest level is 100%.

The highest is during the period of wisdom in old age, moving to the side of altruism. The minds and thoughts of people work to serve what should serve people. Also, sexual satisfaction relates to the needs of egoism

How to deal with selfish people when meeting

To deal with such a person, simply start ignoring him or her. To make it clear that you already know all the tricks of their selfish nature. And if you want to somehow help such selfish people, then when helping, always remember that they can often turn to you only for help for their own ulterior motives.

So when helping such a person who comes to you only to seek help in difficult times, be aware of his possible selfish plans and hidden agendas before helping.

Types of selfishness

Throughout the spectrum of human relationships, selfishness can manifest itself in different ways:

Dictatorial egoism.

This type of egoism is expressed in the individual's deep conviction that everyone around him should serve his interests.

Selfishness of one's own exclusivity and uniqueness.

This type takes as its basis the rule that says: “everyone around should follow moral standards and principles, except for my beloved, if this does not bring me any benefit.”

Anarchic egoism.

According to this view: “everyone has the right to pursue their own interests, in accordance with their moral principles,” that is, there are no rules.

What to do if you yourself are an egoist?

You shouldn’t deprive yourself of reasonable selfishness, but if the situation goes beyond limits, then you need to pay attention to it and take action.

When the realization comes that something is wrong, then it is at that moment that you begin to act. Try to correct your behavior yourself, remove selfish traits, i.e. act completely opposite, and not as always.

Sometimes it is impossible to cope with a situation without a specialist; there is nothing wrong with turning to a psychologist with a problem.

Reasonable, primitive egoism and hedonism

A position that prioritizes personal interests over those of another person or society.

This term arose due to the negative nature of the term “selfishness”.

If, in the public understanding, an “egoist” is a person who thinks only about himself, then a “reasonable egoist” is one who is able to live by his own interests without harming the interests of others.

Primitive - a position of obvious, open disregard for the interests of other people, complete focus on satisfying one’s own needs and aspirations. It is characteristic of individuals with underdeveloped intellect and psyche.

Hedonism is a position that puts personal pleasure at the center of everything. All actions are subordinated to achieving this state. This is the meaning of life, the central, fundamental life value. Everything else is just a means to achieve pleasure. Information belongs to the Rew*Med website

Signs of a Selfish Personality

Manifestations of male and female egoism are identical. Signs of a selfish person:

a pronounced tendency to evaluate others critically;
rejection of criticism in one’s direction, inadequate assessment of it;
shifting one's blame onto others, which manifests itself constantly;
the division of people into “friends/strangers”, which always exists in the mind; the desire to always be in the center of attention, disrespect for the opinions of others;
tendency to energy vampirism, aggressive actions;
lack of balance in many aspects of life;
unwillingness to change oneself;
concentration on achieving material wealth at any cost.

The desire to achieve pleasure is inherent in the human essence. The nervous system gives the body impulses so that it can provide itself with everything it needs. The individual lives in society. It is difficult to survive alone, so the individual must strive to interact with others. Accordingly, altruistic motives (the desire to help one’s neighbor) were originally intended as a means to improve adaptive skills. Without interaction with each other, people will die out. Selfishness is a pathological immoral form of nervous disorder, rooted in childhood. Based on selfish motives, a person commits illegal actions that contradict the norms of society. However, sometimes it is required by the individual.

The egoist is conditionally adapted to friendship. He actively takes care of himself, believing that this is how it should be. Seeks unity with a person who has qualities that he himself lacks, while maintaining free choice.

Difference between egoism and egocentrism

The difference between egoism and egocentrism lies in the definition of concepts.

Selfishness is a stable character trait that manifests itself in behavior.

Egocentrism is the belief that one’s own opinion is the only correct one. Such a person believes that other ideas have no right to exist; he establishes his own orders and rules. Egocentrism is more common in children and disappears before the age of 8–12.

The difference between these concepts lies in the different attitude of the carrier to communication. An egoist, although he loves only himself, needs recognition of his merits by others. He needs to share his feelings and experiences. Such an individual craves attention with all his soul. An egocentric person does not suffer at all from misunderstanding and lack of communication with other people. He feels good alone, he enjoys solitude.

The difference between egoism and egocentrism is, as you can see, palpable.

Narcissist Behavior

A strong, intelligent personality combines different characteristics. Lack or excess of egoism affects the behavioral line in different situations. Women and men with a deficiency cannot communicate normally with others. It is difficult for them to make acquaintances. They reproach themselves for any wrongdoing and always feel guilty.

Excessive egoism also does not allow a person to make acquaintances. Such people tend to consider others unworthy of their attention. They are pleased to refuse help to other people, even if the favor would not be difficult for them. The requests of egoists are fulfilled by others willingly, but over time, narcissists face a wall of indifference. To receive something from others, you need to give, and this character trait is not inherent in egoists.

Such people don't like to work. They are looking for a field of activity that does not require large energy expenditures and lead a parasitic lifestyle, using people’s connections and skills to achieve their own selfish goals. Egoists sincerely believe that they work harder than everyone else and easily change jobs, being confident that the new activity will bring greater profits.

A critic of an egoist faces aggression on his part.

Such a person will definitely say a few “kind” words in response, slam the door and leave. A selfish personality is spiritually flawed, and this leads a person to degradation.

The meaning of selfishness

Society cannot do without a share of healthy egoism. It is impossible to achieve something by constantly sacrificing your interests for the needs of others, just as you cannot completely neglect them. It is important to be able to cooperate with the outside world, to put your interests first, while also taking into account the desires of others.

The meaning of egoism is to find a balance between the desire to achieve one’s goals and the desire to help realize the interests of others, without going to extremes (excessive egoism, even egocentrism or altruism).

Who is an egoist: definition, types, characteristics of a person in simple words

An egoist in simple words
An egoist is a person whose behavior is completely determined by the thought of his own benefit and benefit. Such a person does not know how to live in society, find ways out of compromise situations, and usually he puts his personal interests above the interests of others.

Interesting: As Mark Twain said: “An egoist is a person who loves himself more than me!” . The word “egoist” comes from the Latin “ego” , which translates as “I” .

Selfishness is present in each of us, and this is considered normal. But some individuals have such a consumerist attitude towards other people that their principle of life goes beyond the framework of thinking habitual for every person, and therefore such individuals are called egoists.

There is rational egoism , when a person can evaluate his actions and knows what consequences await him.
But there is also such a type of egoism as irrational - this is a parasitic consumer, acting on the basis of his desires and impulses, wanting to get as much benefit for himself as possible.

The following types of egoism can also be distinguished:

Types of selfishness

If we analyze the definition of egoism and its types, we can say the following:

A smart egoist with a rational quality lives for his own pleasure, but at the same time does not interfere with the lives of others.
A person who has high self-esteem, is self-centered, or has narcissistic qualities does not fit well in society.

He has unsolvable problems throughout his life, he always demands something impossible from those around him, but at the same time gives nothing in return.

Selfishness of geniuses

A special type of egoism is professional, expressed in the desire for superiority only in a specific field of activity; it is inherent in people who devote themselves to a specific occupation. These are workaholics and fanatics of their work, ready to willingly sacrifice everything else for the sake of their favorite activity. In case of obvious success, such egoism often results in “star fever”. The main indicator of the presence of egoism of this type is the inability to admit defeat, envy of those who are more successful, and absolute confidence in one’s superiority. Of course, there are many gifted people in the world, even geniuses, but some maintain a relaxed atmosphere around themselves, while others, due to selfishness, are blinded by their own greatness.

The novel “The Egoist” (1879) is Meredith’s most significant work.

It most clearly reflected the writer’s desire to dramatize the genre of the novel, to embody in it his ideas about comedy. Its subtitle - “narrative comedy” - indicates a direct connection between the epic art of the novel and the dramatic principles of comedy. At the center of the novel is the image of the aristocrat baronet Sir Willoughby Pattern, owner of Pattern Hall. In The Egoist, the author deliberately narrows the image of the social background for the sake of a more detailed depiction of the character of Willoughby Pattern, surrounded by only a small group of guests and inhabitants of the estate. Social issues are covered here entirely in connection with the character of Sir Pattern. Meredith follows the principle of seeing the “individual mind” as a manifestation of the “social mind.” In-depth psychological analysis becomes a way to comprehend social problems.

Willoughby's selfishness is a trait of social psychology. The conflicts of the novel, caused by the rejection of Willoughby's egoism by those around him, are thus of a social nature. The conflict between Willoughby and Clara Middleton is based on different views on the life of society. Willoughby recognizes only the world of ballrooms and drawing rooms and despises rural workers; he believes that Toms and Jacks need to be “restrained.” Clara sympathizes with ordinary people, sees generosity and heroism in them.

In the character of Willoughby, Meredith showed the stupidity and religious bigotry of a respectable English gentleman educated at the university. The snobbery of an arrogant aristocrat is portrayed in a satirical light. The very name of Sir Willoughby - Pattern (pattern - sample) sounds parodic. Willoughby talking about morality is ridiculous. He is so filled with the consciousness of his superiority that he does not notice the comedy of his reasoning. “I don’t demand to be pleased at all; the only thing I insist on is to be loved.” The arrogant posture and snobbery of Baronet Willoughby is reduced by a comic comparison. Sir Willoughby granted Petition Dale the right to admire himself "in the manner of kings, who are known to have given special privileges to cats, which, although they are not allowed to talk to their Majesties, are not forbidden to stare at them."

The originality of satire in the novel “The Egoist” lies in its deep analysis of the incongruities of the social psychology of the privileged strata of English bourgeois society. Socio-psychological satire denies the inhumanity of the social structure through the depiction of ideas, motives of behavior, concepts, and habits of the character. Willoughby is capable of perceiving shades of words, intonations, and glances. He says: “A difference of just a tenth of an inch in the usual flutter of eyelashes is already noticeable to me.” However, the spiritual impulses of Willoughby himself do not lead to mental development, to changes in his character. The psyche of the negative character in the novel is characterized by something automatic. Even noticing this automatism of his behavior and partly recognizing the imperfection of his nature, Willoughby remains indulgent towards himself. The author ironically writes that Willoughby “from somewhere above looked at the work of his mental mechanics, which he could partially criticize, but was unable to stop.”

The originality of Meredith's artistic method as a novelist lies in his attention to such a discord between the individual and the environment, when an honest person strives for independence and freedom, and representatives of the aristocratic and bourgeois environment resort to various kinds of pseudo-intellectual tricks and tricks in order to maintain their well-being. Meredith moves away from fixing numerous everyday details; he depicts the subtlest shades of feelings and thoughts. The writer's prose acquires a pronounced intellectual character. The style of Meredith's novels is metaphorical. Meredith enriched the art of the novel with new techniques for dramatizing the narrative, a new form of dialogue, close to dialogue in drama. The symbolism in his novels prepared the way for neo-romanticism in English literature of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Meredith's work created the preconditions for the development of the dramatic, psychological and intellectual novel of the 20th century.

How to become a healthy egoist

Knowing what selfishness is, it is not difficult to understand how to cultivate this feeling in yourself and control it. Here are some simple recommendations:

learn to say no. Act in the interests of others without sacrificing your own.
become aware of your own needs. Try to understand what makes you happy. Take action to achieve what you want;
resort to the method of solitude. Be sure to take a moment to relax, practice your favorite hobby, and walk in the fresh air. Anything that makes you happy and allows you to restore your strength is useful!
transfer responsibility. It is important to learn to believe in those around you and not try to do everything for them. Become a manager! This will benefit everyone.

Varieties of reaction behavior

Such a person is not always visible from afar, because people often carefully hide their true face under the mask of virtue. There are such types of egoism: active and passive. In the first form, the person behaves very well in his environment. He is incredibly polite and pleasant, he usually has many friends, and everyone considers him the life of the party. Such individuals use such behavior only to obtain a certain benefit. This is a short definition of pride.

As soon as they realize that the selfish goal could not be achieved, they will immediately stop communicating. Such a person will go to any lengths to obtain his own benefit. Such selfishness is sometimes even welcomed, but still signs of pride are unpleasant to anyone.

As for passive people with such traits, it is much easier to declassify them. So what is selfishness? Typically, such individuals do not disguise themselves as a good person and do not do good deeds for their own benefit. These people go towards their goal, no matter what. Moral and ethical principles do not apply to them. It is easy to recognize egoists: usually they are always alone, since people do not want to communicate with unpleasant people. Such manifestations of selfishness are unacceptable.

Advice from specialists in treatment

If we talk about how to get rid of selfishness, the advice of a psychologist will be more useful than ever. Experts recommend doing this in four stages.

Stop limiting your consciousness. The boundaries that an egoist sets within himself do not allow him to live to the fullest, because they barely go beyond his own nose.

Communicate without the pronoun “I”. The best way to get rid of selfishness is to teach yourself to talk about yourself as little as possible.

Love someone other than yourself. Psychologists recommend getting yourself a pet first. The main difficulty of this step is that there is no escape from the animal. You constantly need to take care of him - feed, clean and play with him. Find satisfaction in what you have. If we talk about self-love, then the biggest problem is learning to be content with everything you have. Information belongs to the Rew*Med website

Treatment of panic attacks: what is included in the course of treatment? Panic attack (PA) is an attack that develops in the shortest possible time...
Panic disorder in men Panic disorder is a common mental illness that is based on...
Phobias Let's consider a very important problem of modern society. Due to a difficult lifestyle...
Anorexia is a type of eating disorder. Anorexia is a mental disorder that belongs to a group of disorders...

The most common behavior patterns of a selfish person

Selfish people are very good manipulators

A manipulative person is defined as someone who seeks to control other people and circumstances only to achieve what they want. They may use emotional blackmail. A selfish person instinctively and constantly continues to manipulate facts, figures and circumstances in order to complete his ulterior motives.

Manipulation is a terrible thing. Because people are not born this way. This develops over time and is practiced. And if there are selfish people in your life who are trying to manipulate you, then you need to learn to save yourself from all these evils that exist around you, and are ready to “sting” you at any moment.