When you are offended by someone, this implies an abdication of responsibility for your emotional reaction, as well as for the decisions you made that ultimately led to the offense.
When you systematically abdicate responsibility in various areas of your life, this is a victim mentality. As I previously wrote, to identify the victim mentality in yourself, it is enough to answer the question of what you are responsible for in your life.
Now I will write about why it happens that you abdicate responsibility and shift it to others, be it individuals, groups of people, organizations, government, the universe, God Almighty or whatever.
Source of the article here.
Shifting responsibility is based on a mechanism called psychological projection.
What is victim blaming?
Victim blaming is blaming the victim, shifting responsibility onto the injured person for the misfortune that happened to him or even for the crime committed against him. This term came into Russian from English. It is formed from the words victim (victim) and blaim (blame).
The author of the term is considered to be the American psychologist William Ryan, who published the book “Blaming the victim” in 1971. In it, the author examines in detail the topic of shifting the blame or part of it to the victim in the context of such a problem as racism.
Victim blaming occurs in all areas of human relationships, but is more often encountered by victims of domestic violence and women who have experienced rape. The worst thing is that condemnation of them is often heard from school teachers, officials, deputies, ombudsmen and other people who are moral authorities for many.
Standards for document management
The results of an organization's work depend on the management system, and the creation and management of documents is an integral part of any business process of the organization. Personnel working with documents must be qualified, know their responsibilities and understand the responsibility for their dishonest performance. This is written about in international standards containing requirements for management systems (for example, in GOST R ISO 9001-2015 “Quality management systems. Requirements”, which is often implemented at Russian enterprises). It is no secret that in our country the acceptance of the principles set out in these standards is not easy - many perceive them as a theory expressed in difficult language that has nothing to do with reality. But the provisions of these documents are actually very useful.
The following standards are devoted to the issue of document management:
1. GOST R ISO 15489-1-2019 “System of standards for information, library and publishing. Information and documentation. Document management. Part 1. Concepts and principles" (hereinafter referred to as GOST R ISO 15489-1-2019);
2. GOST R 7.0.101-2018/ISO 30301:2011 “System of standards for information, library and publishing. Information and documentation. Document management systems. Requirements" (hereinafter referred to as GOST R 7.0.101-2018/ISO 30301:2011).
GOST R ISO 15489-1-2019 pays special attention to the distribution of responsibilities between employees. Thus, it is established that responsibility should be determined for:
- all participants in the document creation process;
- persons involved in document management;
- all users of document systems.
According to GOST R ISO 15489-1-2019, responsibility applies to all employees who create and use documents and must be defined, established and communicated to them (Table 1).
In accordance with the requirements of GOST R ISO 15489-1-2019, the organization must establish responsibility in a number of documents (Scheme 2).
To effectively manage documents, responsibilities should be distributed among employees. GOST R 7.0.101-2018/ISO 30301:2011 regulates the implementation of a records management system (hereinafter referred to as RMS), which links records management to organizational success and accountability by creating a structure that includes policies, goals and guidelines for records. The provisions of this standard are used by those organizations that have decided to develop and implement an EMS.
Examples of victim blaming
One of the most common and cynical examples of victim blaming is the condemnation of a raped woman. Usually they immediately begin to accuse her of dressing too revealingly, behaving dissolutely, and returning home late. It all comes down to the fact that this could not happen to a decent woman. And no one thinks that it’s not easy for her even without universal condemnation.
Victims of domestic violence also often experience victim blaming. They are addressed with phrases like “Why does she put up with this and not leave him?”, “She probably deserved it herself!” or even “What did you do to stop him from hitting you?!”
Unfortunately, blaming the victim is such a common phenomenon that each of us can see many examples around us. Surely you can also remember an example when someone uttered the phrase “It’s your own fault!” to your address or to your friend's address. The accusations against the victim usually sound something like this:
- A person's wallet was snatched on a bus? It's your own fault! You need to take care of your wallet and make sure that it is not so easy for a pickpocket to get to it.
- Did you cheat a friend in a store? It's your own fault! You need to be more careful, and it’s better to even take out a calculator in the store, demonstrating to the seller that deception will not work.
- A drunk neighbor was returning home late and was beaten up? There’s no point in walking around drunk at night (I’m sure I’ve gotten into trouble myself).
- Did someone have an accident? So it’s my own fault – this wouldn’t have happened with a careful driver!
It's interesting that those who judge cannot stand aside. They consider it their duty to demonstrate their own attitude to this situation in order to open everyone’s eyes to the fact that the victim herself is to blame for the misfortune that befell her.
Regulatory and methodological documents on liability records
The main regulatory act of the organization regulating the issues of working with documents is the instructions for office work. When compiling it, we traditionally recommend that organizations of all forms of ownership be guided by the provisions of three documents:
1. Rules for office work in state bodies and local governments[1] (hereinafter referred to as Rules for office work).
2. Methodological recommendations for the development of instructions for office work in state bodies and local governments [2] (hereinafter referred to as MR for the development of ID).
3. Sample instructions for office work in government organizations[3] (hereinafter referred to as Sample instructions for office work).
In these regulations, responsibility for organizing document flow is distributed among officials (Table 2). Clause 3.1 of the MR on ID development states that similar provisions must be provided in the “General Provisions” section of the local office management instructions.
The rights, duties and responsibilities of officials should be recorded in their job descriptions. In order for the regulatory and organizational documents of an organization to be “working” (in other words, to be followed by all employees), it is necessary to ensure the consistency of their provisions. So, in our case, the job descriptions should contain the responsibilities for working with documents provided for in the office management instructions for different categories of positions. They should be recorded in the job description of the head of the structural unit at least briefly (Example).
In order for the task of ensuring consistency of the provisions of organizational and regulatory documents to be successfully implemented, it is advisable to develop and consolidate uniform wording for their inclusion in draft job descriptions. This can be done in a regulatory document establishing the requirements for the structure and text of job descriptions in the organization (if there is one), or the information can be posted publicly on the corporate portal. Control over the inclusion of certain mandatory provisions in the job description is carried out during the approval of its draft. This can be done either by a document management specialist (head of the records management service) or by an employee coordinating the development of job descriptions in the organization (for example, head of the human resources department).
Those responsible for office work in departments, as a rule, are appointed personally (by name) by order of the manager, while their job descriptions (in compliance with labor law standards) include the responsibility for maintaining office work in structural units. Typically, details of this task are not provided in the job description. It is convenient to formalize the list of operations charged to the person responsible for office work in the department as a separate paragraph of the order.
Reasons for victim blaming
Analyzing various situations and trying to understand what victim blaming is, psychologists have discovered that this phenomenon is essentially a defensive reaction of the human psyche. A person wants to believe that nothing bad can happen to him and his loved ones. Therefore, he believes that misfortunes only happen to those people who somehow deserve them.
In psychology, there is the concept of “Belief in a Just World” or “Just World Hypothesis.” This is a perception characteristic of most people. It lies in the fact that the world around them seems fair and balanced to people. It seems to them that evil will always be punished and good will always be rewarded. Please note that this is not about religious views, but about a subconscious expectation of justice.
When someone has a misfortune, they immediately look for an explanation. He’s just not ready to accept the fact that someone has suffered undeservedly. After all, if this is possible, then a similar trouble could happen to him or someone close to him. Therefore, a person shifts the blame onto the victim in order to maintain the belief that such misfortune cannot be undeserved.
Thus, victim blaming is a defensive reaction of the psyche that allows us to maintain “faith in a just world.” When watching someone else experience misfortune, a person unconsciously tries to find a reason for what happened in order to convince himself that the victim deserved it. This feature of perception allows a person to continue to look at the world through “rose-colored glasses,” believing that nothing like this can happen to him and his loved ones.
While studying this phenomenon, psychologists discovered that the tendency to victim blaming directly depends on a person’s morality and his moral values. People with socialist views (focused on the benefit of the whole society) are more likely to blame the victim. For those who place the rights and freedoms of each individual above all else, victim blaming is usually not typical.
Why do we project our feelings onto others?
Projection is a learned behavior.
As children, we saw our parents and/or educators projecting their feelings, and simply copied them - we learned that this is how we should behave. That this is natural, normal human behavior.
The second, and very important reason, is the desire to protect yourself from negative emotions.
Most often you project onto others because you have so many repressed negative emotions that you are ashamed of and prefer not to see that you subconsciously
, at the level of instincts, you try to unload these emotions by transferring them to another, in an attempt to get rid of them and alleviate your condition.
And here we come close to grievances. Your childhood was filled with them. And you continue to carry unforgiven grievances, which you are ashamed of, because you think that grievances are “kindergarten.”
And unbeknownst to yourself, you take out the burden of past grievances on other people, ruining your life and relationships.
Why do people have so many suppressed emotions?
One of your parents was probably not fully available to you emotionally during your early childhood. The result of this was that you learned to hide certain emotions that irritated your parent, prompting him to distance himself from you and not give you the attention that you needed. In fact, all your life you have been practicing hiding and suppressing certain emotions, and now this process happens automatically, unconsciously.
Another possible cause is childhood trauma. Traumatic events are very effective at teaching a person that certain strong emotions, such as sadness, anger, resentment, or even sexual desire, are unacceptable.
Negative consequences of victim blaming
Victims of crime, especially when it comes to sexual violence, are usually ashamed of what happened to them. Society, through victim blaming, promotes increased feelings of shame. This leads to the fact that victims do not wait for support, do not contact the police and hide what happened to them, fearing to be stigmatized and disgraced.
Thus, blaming the victim not only causes her moral damage, but also generally worsens the situation in society. This gives criminals a free hand , since solving crimes is difficult due to the fact that the victims themselves are silent about what happened. Therefore, victim blaming is a serious problem in modern society. And if we want to increase the level of general well-being, it is necessary to actively combat this phenomenon.
Distribution of responsibility for work at different stages of the document life cycle
In an organization that has implemented a global distribution of responsibilities, the records management service (or secretary) provides methodological guidance and control over compliance with the procedure for working with documents. And the executors - employees of structural divisions - write letters and carry out orders. And who is to blame if the document contains errors and the order is not executed on time?
In practice, the issue of delineating duties and responsibilities becomes particularly acute precisely when it comes to the specific actions of certain employees at different stages of working with documents. Let us examine two areas of work in which disputes most often arise between the secretary and executors: the creation of documents (documentation) and the execution of documents (instructions).
Creation of documents (documentation)
The criteria for assessing the effectiveness of the process of working on a draft document (documentation) can be considered:
- quality of the document – the document has been assessed (approved) by all interested parties; the text and composition comply with the norms of official business style and the requirements for a specific type of document;
- timeliness of operations - the deadlines established for each stage of work are met: creation, approval, signing, registration, distribution of the document.
Various omissions while working on a draft document can lead to trouble. For example:
- the document was drawn up with violations and was not accepted for registration by the recipient organization, as a result of which the manager will have to sign it again;
- errors were found in the document (from grammatical to factual), which damaged the reputation of the company and its first person;
- a long time passed between the signing of the document and its registration or sending (the manager thought that the letter had been sent, but it turned out that it had not, and an internal investigation began), etc.
Current regulations on office work place maximum responsibility for the quality of the document on the executor (Table 3).
Depending on the specifics of the organization, the features and form of organization of office work, the local instructions for office work provide additional provisions for the delimitation of duties and responsibilities. Thus, a document may contain requirements related to the peculiarities of interaction between the secretary and executors at the stages of document registration and preparation for sending (for example, the requirement to fill out the fields of the document registration card in the electronic document management system at different stages of work). Consider the following tips:
1. Clause 4.4 of the Sample Instructions for Office Work defines a list of departments and persons with whom it is necessary to coordinate draft documents. Among them is the office management service. And if, for example, the range of documents under consideration is outlined for the legal service (draft LNA, draft orders), then according to this regulatory document, the office management service must coordinate all the documents of the organization. At least those whose requirements are regulated in the third section of the Sample Instructions for Office Work. At the same time, only for one group of documents (namely administrative documents) mandatory control over the correctness of execution by the office management service is stipulated (see clause 3.17 of the Model Instructions for Office Management). We recommend that the local records management instructions clearly define what types of documents are approved by the records management service (secretary) and what is the subject of approval.
2. Current regulations on office work contain requirements for the timing of completion of certain procedures. So, for example, according to clause 5.36 of the Model Instructions for Office Work, registration of outgoing documents is carried out on the day of their signing or, in some cases, on the next business day. As you know, the records management service or secretary is responsible for registering documents. At the same time, clause 7.11 of the Sample Instructions for Office Work states that after signing the document, the executor submits it for registration in the manner established in the local instructions for office work. Who will be to blame for missing deadlines and how to justify this if the executor forgets about the signed document for several days? We recommend that you pay special attention to the nuances when developing local instructions for office work , think over and describe a unified procedure for work at those stages that are not covered in the Sample instructions for office work and depend on the specifics of the organization. How is the process of submitting documents for signature to the manager organized? What happens to the documents after signing? How is the interaction between the contractor and the office management service (secretary) organized at this stage? It is advisable to document the answers to these questions.
3. In accordance with his job duties, the manager’s secretary ensures the organization of work with documents in the manager’s reception area. This is usually stated in his job description. But the current regulations that establish requirements for instructions on office work do not say anything about the work of the reception desk as such. We recommend that you think about regulating the work of the reception area when regulating the office work of your organization.
Execution of documents (orders)
As part of the organization of the execution of documents, regulatory acts on office work, duties and responsibilities are distributed between different categories of officials (Table 4). Generally speaking, the main task of departments is to execute documents on time or promptly notify the manager of the need to adjust these deadlines. A fairly large volume of tasks, united by the concept of “controlling deadlines,” is delegated to the office management service. The manager also “got it” - it is quite logical that he is the one who exercises control “in essence”.
We recommend that in the local instructions for office work in the section devoted to the organization of execution control, the following nuances should be provided:
1. In accordance with clause 6.8 of the Sample Instructions for Office Work, the office work service checks the timeliness of delivery of documents to be executed to employees. However, practice shows that it is wrong to concentrate all responsibility in one place. In the LNA, it is advisable to establish the obligation of employees to regularly check new tasks in the EDMS, e-mail, and collect paper documents from the cells of structural divisions.
2. Taking into account the specifics of the company and its document flow (traditional or electronic), it is necessary to carefully describe the work of the office management service (or secretary) in preliminary checking and regulating the progress of execution of documents (instructions), so that all actors understand the permissible degree of interference of the controller, and responsibility for non-fulfillment was not placed on his shoulders due to the lack of specifics in internal regulations. This also applies to the interaction of the office management service (or secretary) with the manager: think about what information and in what time frame the manager needs to monitor the substance of the issues under consideration and timely intervention.
How to avoid victim blaming?
As noted above, crime victims are ashamed of what happened to them and often actually feel guilty. They reflect for a long time, thinking through various scenarios of events in which they could safely avoid what happened. As a result, they themselves often come to the conclusion that they suffered because of their own mistake or even their own fault.
It often happens that even people who perfectly understand what victim blaming is and why it should be avoided, inadvertently ask unsuccessful questions that put pressure on the victim and make her feel guilty. Therefore, if your loved one suffered due to an accident or became a victim of a crime, it is extremely important to choose the right words when discussing this situation with him.
You cannot use phrases like “How did you manage?”, “I warned you” or “I should have...” - such statements only aggravate the situation. It’s better to simply express sympathy and support , listen to the person without trying to interpret what happened. If it is appropriate, you can suggest going somewhere to unwind.
ME OR CIRCUMSTANCES?
When it comes to self-justification, one cannot help but recall the theory of locus of control (Julian Rotter). Locus of control is a concept that characterizes a person’s ability to attribute their successes or failures to either internal or external factors. The tendency to attribute performance results to external factors is called “external locus of control,” or externality. Such people like to operate with the concept of “fate”; in case of success (especially someone else’s) they tend to believe that “it’s just luck”, and in case of failure they actively seek self-justification from the “who stopped me” series.
Those who are accustomed to accepting both successes and failures as a result of their own activity (both action and inaction) are called internalists and have an internal locus of control. They are proud of their achievements, believing that they have done a lot to achieve such a result. The suggestion that they were “just lucky” can really hurt them: “It’s not luck, it’s a lot of work!” In case of failure, they tend to take responsibility, critically evaluate their behavior and draw conclusions for the future. The internal is more likely not to make excuses; he will try to explain the situation without abdicating responsibility.
Of course, the position of the internals looks more mature. After all, even if the mistake is obvious to others and affects the overall result, openly admitting that you were wrong means that the person has thought about the situation and is unlikely to allow it to happen again. In this case, even business partners may not refuse to cooperate, giving a “second chance.” This position is also good in a family, when one spouse has something to blame the other for and he openly admits: “I was wrong, I’ll correct myself.”
Thus, we can draw an important conclusion: the purpose of justifications is to whiten our image and prevent others from worsening our attitude. But by making excuses, we do not achieve this goal. On the contrary, new, not too light colors are added to our image.
Avoidance of responsibility
Gradually, as the child grows up, he begins to understand more and more that if you blame someone for your failures, bad grades at school, or inability to make friends, then you can easily avoid responsibility and not try to correct what was done, which means you can do everything whatever you want.
To prevent this from happening, it is important for parents to carefully monitor what they say to each other or how they speak about their friends, relatives, work colleagues, how they react to the child’s actions, whether they always find out the reason for what happened and how often they encourage stories invented by the child. After all, the child does not have his own life experience and completely adopts what he sees and hears around him.
Overprotection
Another option is overprotection of the child. When a baby stumbles and falls, he very often hears the following words: “It’s the pebble’s fault, let’s punish it so that it doesn’t come under your feet again.” If a dog suddenly barked at a child, this does not mean at all that it was the dog’s fault; perhaps the child teased it or waved his hand, and after aggression on the part of the animal arose, he cried, got scared and ran to complain that the dog barked at him. And instead of first finding out whether he is the reason for the animal’s behavior, most often the parents take the child’s side and begin to lament: “Oh, what a bad dog, let’s drive her away.” A child develops a pattern of behavior where he can easily shift the blame for his own actions onto someone else.
Children's fantasies
For example, when a child is passionate about playing and imagines himself in the role of some animal, more often a cat or a dog, he begins to perform some actions and deeds characteristic of this animal, without completely separating himself from its image. And when one of the parents comes into the room and sees scattered things, torn paper or scattered books, then most often when asked: “Who did this?”, the baby answers: “It’s not me, it’s the cat.”
What should parents do in this case? First of all, don’t panic and think that your child is lying to you. If this happened for the first time, then the child’s further behavior will depend on the reaction of the parents following his action. If mom or dad accuses a child of lying, then next time the parents may not expect the truth from him, and gradually the child will begin to shift responsibility for all his not very good deeds onto someone whom he imagines at that moment.
In order to prevent this from happening, it is enough to listen carefully to the child, sometimes even assenting to him or nodding your head as a sign that you are carefully and seriously listening to his story, and then say that his story is very interesting, but now you need to put things in order together.
In this way, the parents will show the child that he does not need to be afraid to tell the truth, and no one is going to punish him for his fantasies, but he needs to take responsibility for his actions and put things in order, and the people closest to him are ready to help him with this.
