First aid. What to do when everything is lost and you don’t want to live?

Perhaps you, too, have once felt the emptiness that sometimes arises inside: in moments when we suddenly realize that we don’t want anything at all. Life turns into a “home - work - home” scheme, where neither one nor the other brings absolutely any joy. On the one hand, such a state, if it lasts for a long time, may indicate [depression], on the other hand, short episodes can only indicate that life has not been going well lately, but this can be corrected. We figured out how interest appears in general, which motivates you to develop, and what to do if it leaves you.

What is interest

In psychology, there is such a term as personality orientation - this is a set of stable motivations that motivate a person to understand what he wants and determine how he perceives the world and how he can achieve the goals that are set for him. Desires and motives themselves are dynamic and depend on a person’s situational needs, which correspond to his values and worldview, as well as certain obligations to other people. Nevertheless, psychologists identify several fixed categories, which can include everything that we are trying (or at least want) to achieve:

Installation. An individual’s unconscious willingness to act to satisfy needs.
Attraction. A stage in a person’s life when he does not yet understand what exactly he wants, but feels the desire.
Interest. An emotional manifestation of curiosity and cognitive need, which is felt as a feeling of sympathy for an object/activity.
Wish. A conscious need to get something.
Intention. The same conscious understanding of what a person plans to do.
Beliefs. A set of perceived needs according to which a person builds his life.
Worldview. Reflects a person’s views on the world, social relationships, social norms and rules.

We are most interested, of course, in interest, which is always based on different needs. For example, you may be interested in finding a cafe where you can have lunch today because you are hungry, or meeting with friends because you feel a lack of social contacts. Any conscious desire for a certain activity or object is an interest that we realize with the help of other components of the personality’s orientation. However, we often find ourselves in a situation where there seem to be inclinations, but it is not easy to deal with them, and clearly defined interests do not seem to exist at all. Or they were there, but for some reason they disappeared.

Types of incentives

Depending on the direction of impact, they are divided into:

material;
intangible.

Behavioral incentives that relate to material rewards can be:

Cash allowances, bonuses, surcharges.
Providing vouchers to sanatoriums and recreation centers.
Payment for city transport tickets.
Providing health insurance and free medical care.
Improving working conditions.
Equipment of the immediate workplace according to a modern model.

What a non-material stimulus is can be understood if we consider that a person is a spiritual and social being. Stimulation can be:

moral;
psychological;
social;
creative

Material incentives

An incentive may be given to employees if the administration increases their wages. The reason for this may be:

overfulfillment of the volume of goods and services;
improvement of labor qualifications;
simultaneous combination of work positions;
performing a given amount of work with fewer people or in a shorter period of time;
by rewarding rationalization and invention;
improving the quality of work;
reducing production costs and saving materials;
high performance throughout the year.

Negative incentives are expressed in the deprivation of bonuses and allowances. What is a material incentive in non-monetary terms:

introduction of consumer services for employees at the enterprise;
purchase of housing and provision of service apartments;
provision of children's preschool institutions;
payment for medical and resort vouchers;
improving hygiene and sanitation conditions in the workplace.

Non-material incentives

Stimulating a person in this way is more diverse and broader than material interest. Psychologists identify the following non-material incentives:

Moral
. It manifests itself in the expression in various forms of respect for the work performed. This could be an expression of gratitude, the presentation of a diploma or certificate of honor, or the conferment of titles. A negative incentive requires a reprimand, hanging a photo on a shame board.
Social
. This area concerns increasing the prestige of work, ensuring career growth, and providing the opportunity to participate in the life of the team.
Creative
. The stimulus of life here is associated with the realization of a person’s inner potential, the disclosure of the ability to create.

Why am I not interested in anything?

Daniel Brownie, author of The Source of Energy. How to turn on the body’s hidden reserves and stay energetic all day,” devoted a lot of time to studying the mechanisms of productivity and came to the logical conclusion that energy is not an endless source. Every day we spend it and replenish it, and when we feel a lack of strength and lack of any interest in life, this indicates that we have spent more than we could restore, and we continue to do so. When exactly and for what reason the problem manifested itself, it is impossible to say exactly without the help of a specialist and deep reflection, since some may be in a state of demotivation for several months and ignore this state, others - only for a couple of days or a week. However, there are several reasons why we may lose interest in life.

Excessive severity with yourself. John Maxwell, an American writer and speaker, in his book “The 15 Laws of Growth,” expresses the opinion that the value judgments we apply to ourselves are the most powerful psychological factor influencing our performance. Thus, it turns out that if you often scold yourself but never praise yourself, or constantly feel dissatisfied with your work, while striving to do better and better, then most likely you will lose motivation very quickly.

Lack of a compelling goal. Ask yourself, “Why am I doing what I’m doing?”

, and if you don't have a clear answer, then that's a bad sign. Often it is the lack of understanding of what you are striving for that gives you a feeling of hopelessness and despair.

High expectations. Despite the fact that a person is capable of achieving anything if he has the desire and understanding of how to do it, there are often cases when the goal turns out to be beyond our reach. It seems to put pressure on us with the fact that it remains unattainable no matter how much effort we put in. This happens because we incorrectly estimate the volume of tasks, set priorities and deadlines incorrectly. As a result, there is no result, and this is really frustrating.

Lack of environmental support. You can strive for complete autonomy as much as you like, but people are still social creatures who largely depend on what those around them, especially their close circle, think and want. And if instead of support you are judged, confused and reminded of failure at every corner, this is understandably demotivating.

Unhealthy Lifestyle. The lack of sleep alone is worth it, not to mention irregular nutrition and the lack of at least minimal physical activity with a predominantly sedentary lifestyle. Despite the fact that physical condition is not directly related to intellectual activity, it is difficult for the body to function properly when basic needs are not met for a long time. As a result, both interest in life and motivation to do anything gradually fade away, and in the long term you risk finding yourself in a state of deep depression.

To all this, as a separate point, it is worth adding stress, which for various reasons we experience more often than expected, which depletes our nervous system and ceases to have interest in anything at all.

Why do you need an incentive?

Like the original use of a physical object, this modern intangible phenomenon signifies an urge to action. Only now people are playing the role of elephants. Stimulation works in the following cases of human life:

stop in development;
resolving a difficult situation: a threat to well-being or a way out of an impasse;
overcoming certain character traits: laziness, fear, etc.;
self-affirmation;
helping other people.

How to fix it

Take small steps

Don't start big; you'll set the bar too high, given that at this stage you're in a state of disinterest, much less willing to do anything. Think about what you previously wanted or what dreams remained unfulfilled, and then start making a plan. Research has shown that planning—even if it's short-term—helps keep you in shape and leads to greater resilience.

Introduce rituals into your life

Despite the fact that freedom, of course, is what any person needs to realize his needs, nevertheless, certain restrictions will help you not to waste time and do only what will be truly useful. Therefore, formulate a few rules, for example, how you will start your morning: with a glass of water, reading 10 pages of a book, taking a shower - it doesn’t matter, the main thing is that it becomes a habit. By doing this every day, your brain will feel good and your motivation will increase.

Make checklists

If you understand in your head that you need, say, to improve a foreign language, but you don’t have the desire or energy to do it, try motivating yourself by creating checklists. Determine for yourself the optimal amount of what you are willing to do now, set a schedule, and then start marking the days on your calendar when you completed the task. For example, learn 10 words daily. And each time you do this, paint the day with a bright color, and let the calendar itself be in a prominent place as a reminder of the goal you have set for yourself.

Try to be kinder to yourself

There may be a lack of interest for various psychological reasons: from deep self-doubt to extreme perfectionism, when there is a feeling that everything should be perfect, which is almost never justified. Either reason exhausts us, and it is normal that sometimes we feel exhausted. Try to figure out how you prevent yourself from being interested in life around you. If you can’t do it on your own, you can always contact a specialist who will help determine the cause of all the problems. But the most important thing is not to judge yourself for “wrong” behavior and understand that at the heart of everything is caring about your well-being.

Incentive and motivation - what's the difference?

In terms of the result of the action, these concepts are the same. Motivation and stimulation encourage a person to move forward. The difference between them lies in the nature of the force that forces a person to do something. It is as follows:

Motivation is an internal need that arises in the structures of human consciousness. Outwardly, it manifests itself as an object of satisfaction that needs to be achieved in order to calm the thirst of desire.
The source of motivation is “along the course of movement” of the individual.
The stimulus arises from the outside from the developing circumstances of life.
Stimulation of development acts under compulsion against the will of the individual. In contrast to motivation: it realizes a voluntary desire.
The object of satisfaction of stimulation is located within the consciousness of a person.

Use anchors to help you find motivation

When you set a goal, you inevitably start thinking about ways to achieve it. You will think about it in the shower, on a walk, in bed before going to bed, and so on. So, if you see something inspiring in a movie, read a motivational quote or story on the Internet , watch someone’s video on Youtube about how to find motivation, start a business, lose weight, etc., get to work.

Moments of inspiration are the best way to start moving. You can start with:

Creating a plan;
Setting a daily/weekly schedule;
Meeting with a friend who has already achieved success.

It is very important to communicate with people who have already achieved the results you dream of. They allow you to find strength and motivation because they help you see the reality of achieving your goal.

TOP 7 best books for self-development

1. Spencer Johnson - "Where's My Cheese?"

The work was included in The New York Times best-selling books list. This is not about mastery of cooking. Spencer Johnson, the author of the book, and at the same time a doctor, management consultant, disguises his life goals under cheese: from material wealth to love.

2. Mark Manson - “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Paradoxical Way to Live Happily”

The book is literally imbued with the spirit of pragmatism. The author, popular blogger Mark Manson, teaches how important it is to preserve your true self and at the same time achieve those goals that are of paramount importance to you.

3. Stephen Covey - “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”

In just 1 hour, get 1,000,000 kW of energy for the next 168 hours for life in Stream

you feel emotionally exhausted by the end of the week (or even the day);
you experience a constant feeling of chronic dissatisfaction, fatigue and depression;
you are not happy about anything.

become emotionally stable,
get a boost of energy
establish energy exchange with the world.

The invitation to the Saturday Reboot is valid only until February 12, 10:00

Enter the e-mail to which the invitation will be sent:

The book is recognized as a classic among works dedicated to motivation and self-development. Its circulation is more than 25 million copies. The essence of Covey's work comes down to the transformation of the internal qualities of the individual in order to obtain new positive habits and, as a result, the transition to a new level of life.

4. Timothy Ferris - “Tools of Giants. Secrets of success, techniques for increasing productivity and healthy habits"

World-famous blogger Tim Ferriss interviewed several of the most famous and most successful people in their field: athletes, actors, businessmen, etc. He tried to identify the factors that helped these people become the best in their field.

3 steps towards limitless possibilities!

5. Henry Cloud and John Townsend - "Barriers"

A guide to setting personal boundaries in the new digital world. The book teaches you to develop reasonable boundaries in communicating with your family, children, colleagues, loved ones and, most of all, with yourself.

6. Lewis House - “How to become a legend. Live more fully, love with all your heart and leave a mark on the earth."

The author of the book was a former promising American Arena League football player. Unfortunately, he received an injury that was incompatible with his sports career. House did not lose his zest for life and found a new business for himself, which led him to success.

7. Daniel Pink - “Drive. What really motivates us?

The author of the book, Daniel Pink, proves the fact that a person receives motivation from a variety of sources. However, the highest level of productivity comes from a clear sense of self, understanding who you are and what your purpose is.

Let's sum it up

So how do you find motivation to make your life happier?

Think about the end result, create the photo collage of your dreams.
Make a daily plan and follow it. Small steps will lead to a big goal.
Train your willpower.
Make small decisions without hesitation.
Set a time limit and promise people that you will meet the deadline.
Make your environment more comfortable and motivating.
Look for anchors for motivation in life: through films, videos, successful people.
Drink clean, positively charged water.
Skip fast food in favor of natural foods to boost your energy.
Play sports.

Make decisions quickly to stay motivated

Every day we make a huge number of choices. If you spend too much time thinking about what to do next, motivation is lost and willpower is depleted.

What to do?

Automate decision making. For example, if the question is “What to wear today?”, “What to buy for dinner?” etc., choose the first option you come across and act! Don't waste energy hesitating. You will need it to make really important decisions that will determine your progress towards your goal.

People motivating for success

We are driven to our own exploits by the examples of those who achieved certain heights on their own, without starting financial support, and sometimes even without the most necessary things at the beginning of their life’s journey. Among them there are many truly great purposeful figures.

For example, the famous American actor Tom Cruise says that due to family problems he had to change 15 schools, and Andrew Carnegie, one of the richest Americans, was born into a poor family and began his path to becoming a multimillionaire as a laborer.

There are a lot of outstanding people who can motivate success with their experience. They are truly worth looking up to.

Checklist for self-development

Clearly define your standard of living. What's most important right now? What goal should you strive for?
Answer honestly the question of what needs to be done in all areas of life. Make a list of what you want to achieve in your career, relationships, social causes. Where do you see yourself in 1-2 years, 5-10 years?
Analyze your skills, abilities, knowledge. In what areas are there knowledge gaps, what skills do you need to acquire to achieve your goals? Let the movement not be fast, but constant.