Qualities of a woman that men value: femininity, tenderness, thriftiness, independence. What kind of women do men like?

• April 9, 2019
• Psychology of relationships
• Ulyana Orekhova

Finding a life partner who would meet all the standards of the male ideal is impossible, if only because the criteria for this standard vary greatly among representatives of the stronger sex. Some people like independent ladies, others like defenseless individuals, but there is a general range of feminine qualities, the totality of which makes any woman desirable to the chosen one. So what are the qualities of a woman that men value?

Men's expectations and reality

When taking an inexperienced girl who has not yet encountered the problems of independent life as his wife, a man has no right to expect that the young lady will immediately give him a feeling of comfort and take on half the responsibility for family life. All these features, as well as the ability to cope with everyday difficulties, come to a woman over the years. However, an attentive man will always be able to discern in his companion the beginnings of the necessary character traits, which over time will develop into qualities valued by most modern cultures.

What qualities do men value in a woman?

• external beauty;
• kindness and honesty;
• self-esteem and a sense of optimism;
• the ability to yield when necessary;
• femininity and sexuality;
• thrift.

Nurturing these character traits will make a woman more confident and significantly increase her value in the eyes of members of the opposite sex. If the girl already has a chosen one, pleasant changes in her behavior will make the union even stronger and the relationship brighter.

Why self-esteem decreases

Before you begin to increase a woman’s self-esteem, it is important to determine what is meant by self-esteem. Simply put, this is the perception of one’s qualities and place determined in society. The formation of one's own perception is formed in childhood under the influence of the family. It depends on the parents whether their child will be successful or will constantly doubt his own abilities. According to family analysts, mothers and fathers should not use certain educational techniques, as they have a detrimental effect on the psyche of children.

Similar methods include:

• conversation in an orderly tone;
• criticism;
• threats;
• comparison with other children;
• ignoring the child’s opinion;
• reluctance to see a person in your child.

Experts call such methods direct suggestion, and since in childhood people do not yet have their own attitudes, they turn out to be easily suggestible. If you regularly tell someone about their insignificance and stupidity, then as a result the person will believe it. To better understand how to increase a woman’s self-esteem, psychologists recommend remembering the puberty period. Teenage girls are very vulnerable and susceptible. If parents say day after day that their daughter belongs in prison or in the trash heap, then these words will sooner or later be confirmed. Take the test and find out what your chances are of getting your husband back

External and internal beauty

When asked which women men like and which they don’t, girls themselves often answer erroneously, listing first of all the external signs of their gender.

Of course, external gloss and well-groomed appearance are the first things that guys pay attention to when they first meet, but a girl can only make him hold his interest in her person through the use of her mental and spiritual qualities. Not the least important among them is the development of spiritual values ​​that make a woman truly interesting in communication, because the kindness and beauty of a woman are still considered derivatives of her inner purity.

Here is the order in which, in descending order of importance, men ranked the criteria of female attractiveness that concern them:

• pleasant, feminine figure;
• clean skin;
• clear, open look;
• good teeth;
• beautiful well-groomed hair.

Contrary to the opinion of modern girls, men consider naturalness to be the best indicator of external beauty - at least at the level of the woman’s absence of implants and a large amount of cosmetics on her face. A beauty's excessive concern for her appearance will also become a serious obstacle to the development of reciprocal sympathy. According to the men surveyed, nothing tires them out more on a date than their partner’s constant fears about her makeup and visual flawlessness.

How to develop self-esteem

Developing self-esteem begins in early childhood. It is important for parents to understand that the child’s future depends on them. They can raise a strong, self-confident personality or a self-deprecating “victim.”

To develop a sense of self-worth in children, parents need to adhere to six rules:

1. Convince your child of your unconditional love. This feeling should not stifle or limit freedom. It should not be given for homework done or dishes washed. The child needs to know that he is an individual, and not a weak-willed person who must live up to the expectations of adults.
2. Show your child your willingness to always come to the rescue. Caution must be exercised here. Your son or daughter should not feel under control. Just be open to communication, do not turn away from them in difficult moments.
3. Do not punish or insult if the child makes a mistake. Help him understand and correct it.
4. Help them learn to solve problems on their own. Let your child look for solutions, and not avoid difficulties.
5. Under no circumstances compare your child to other children. This is not the education of self-esteem, but of low self-esteem and self-doubt. Focus on good qualities, talents, and skills.
6. Help your child complete tasks to the end. But if he doesn't like an activity, don't insist. This rule will be especially important for parents of teenagers. It is during this period that children choose a profession and a future path in life.

And further. The formation of adequate self-esteem in a child is facilitated by respect from parents. They should not make fun of his dreams and desires. Otherwise, he will withdraw into himself and lose faith in his own strength.

Optimistic attitude

One of the main qualities of a woman that men value is her positive attitude in any life situation and her ability to treat temporary difficulties with humor. Even a very beautiful female face loses a lot from the expression of eternal discontent or despondency. Such girls seem mysterious at the beginning of a relationship, but soon the partner gets tired of constantly being in the “realm of depression” and he is in a hurry to leave the oppressive environment.

The above does not mean that a woman cannot, when she is having a hard time, share her problems with a loved one or grieve about some painful incident in her life. A loving man, as a rule, never refuses to support his companion and is ready to share her grief, but not in the case when the state of stress completely floods their joint existence and becomes prevalent.

A girl who respects herself and her position in a couple will never allow her loved one to feel rejected just because her thoughts have taken a negative direction. The problem will be solved faster if the girl is able to motivate the guy to solve it, and only someone with positive thinking can do this.

Reasons for low self-esteem

In addition to the peculiarities of upbringing, psychologists identify three more main reasons for self-doubt:

1. Failures in childhood. For example, she did not take first place at the Olympics.
2. Inability to set goals. This happens when communicating with people for whom self-realization means nothing.
3. Atypical appearance. If a girl was overweight or wore glasses, and was laughed at at school, then she is unlikely to develop adequate self-esteem.

Femininity and tenderness

Note. Often, a partner’s ability to be feminine in any situation is honored by men as one of her main qualities. A woman may not be very beautiful in appearance, but if there is no fuss in her behavior, she is capable of empathy and is distinguished by spiritual gentleness, there will always be someone next to her who will appreciate her.

Femininity is sometimes confused with weak-willedness, inability to stand up for oneself and physical impotence. However, these factors are the direct opposite of the truth of femininity. True femininity is emphasized by contrasts - severity and inaccessibility in society, affection and lightness alone with a loved one. An independent, independent woman is an ideal follower of the laws of femininity.

A real woman will always find a way, with her tenderness and sensitivity, to emphasize the importance of a man in her life, to make him feel head and shoulders above the rest.

Personal maturity

Men like to see a formed personality nearby. Psychologist Alexander Shakhov says that such a lady will appreciate the personal interests of her partner and provide him with personal space. This kind of partner:

• will not devalue men's hobbies;
• allows your loved one to experience their own emotions;
• will become keenly interested in his spiritual needs.

Such an attitude towards a man’s inner world gives rise to deep respect.

Thrift

A housewife is, first of all, someone who knows how to cook and keep the house clean, but without slavish fanaticism and not to the detriment of her personal needs. The old ideas about the ideal housewife, greeting her husband from work in a clean apron and with a neat hairstyle, have not gone away. As before, a man wants to come to a cleanly tidied house, filled with the aromas of delicious food and see a seductive, smiling woman in front of him.

Progress makes adjustments to the current reality, and now women work on an equal basis with their chosen ones, but thriftiness is still highly valued by men among the qualities of an ideal partner. In order to keep up with the accelerated dynamics of today's life, girls are advised not to deny themselves the purchase of good household appliances and not to skimp on ergonomic devices that can relieve the burden of the daily worries of the housewife.

What will work on self-esteem give?

In order to definitely get a positive result in working on your own self-esteem, to become self-confident, it is very important for a lady to consolidate her motivation and determine for herself what qualities a person with an adequate attitude towards herself has:

• Confidence in your strength;
• knowledge and ability to use your strengths;
• knowledge and acceptance of your weaknesses;
• absence of stress and anxiety;
• immunity to criticism;
• the approval of the environment is not important.

And this is just a small part of the qualities that a woman with normal self-esteem possesses. It's worth developing and growing, isn't it?

Watch the video of an independent psychologist to get rid of fears and increase your self-esteem.

Looseness and sexuality

What kind of women do men like? A controversial issue for a long time has been whether a woman is relaxed in expressing her love for her partner. For decades, girls were expected to hide their interest in physical attraction, and this has left its mark on the sexual activity of women of the current generation. Some people even today are embarrassed to offer intimacy to a loved one or respond to his caresses with all the frankness of their feelings. But does this really matter to the men themselves? The answer is yes.

A man with healthy erotic needs needs to be aware of his own desirability; this is the best proof of his masculinity. If a girl does not strive to awaken her partner’s sensuality and always waits for the first step from him, the fading of love will happen very quickly.

Sexuality and sexual looseness are not synonymous concepts. A woman can remain sexy even in the company of strangers, without creating any specific prerequisites for this in the form of revealing outfits or cheeky behavior. Looseness is permissible only in the marital bedroom, where people can not hide their sensual desires and not care about how it looks from the outside.

When a woman cannot be called worthy

Society has developed certain stereotypes of behavior in which a woman loses the right to be called worthy, namely:

• A feeling of inferiority without a man, the desire to meet someone, to enter into any relationship, just so as not to be lonely;
• “Running” after a man, monitoring his communication, even checking his phone and social networks;
• Flirting of a married lady in relation to other men;
• Familiar, cheeky behavior;
• Agreement to play a “secondary role” in a relationship with a man;
• Long-suffering if the relationship becomes unbearable for a number of reasons;
• A manner of dressing that is inappropriate in society, expressed in open exposure of one’s body, the presence of clothes of “flashy” colors, etc.;
• Insult and humiliation of a man;
• Deceiving a partner, hiding money and having a “second” life;
• Screaming, swearing, quarreling, proving that you are right;
• Vanity, attempts to curry favor with society and gain love and recognition;
• The presence of envy and the desire to gossip;
• Treating any strangers as rivals and homewreckers;
• Easy attitude towards sexual contacts with different men;
• Habit of lying;
• Lack of desire to take care of one’s appearance, clothing and home;
• The struggle for one’s happiness and the conquest of a “place under the luminary,” expressed in the seizure of someone else’s territory, a husband or a pair of boots;
• Agreement not to spend the night at home. Unmarried women cannot spend the night where they “slept”, as this is indecent. A man who knows and respects your boundaries will always take a lady home;
• Committing dishonest or illegal acts;
• Smoking, excessive drinking, swearing;
• Kissing, frivolous hugging or other displays of passion in public places;
• Household “servicing” of men’s needs before marriage. This is the function of the domestic worker or legal wife;
• Living in a civil marriage and having children in such circumstances;
• Displaying a photo in underwear or a swimsuit. The same applies to photographs in which a woman openly demonstrates her readiness for sexual pleasures.

Some items on this list have been slightly adjusted and softened over time. Thus, society has become more tolerant of living together without a stamp in the passport. And children born out of wedlock have long been no longer called bastards.

The great Faina Ranevskaya said: “It is better to be a good person who swears than a quiet, well-mannered creature.” Not a message for action, but a reason for mass “not stoning.”

Ability to inspire

Behind every man who moves mountains, there is his woman, who is disturbed by these mountains while walking. In fact, the ability to inspire and focus on results could be put at the head of the qualities of a woman that men value, but the thirst for praise and encouragement is not a discussed element in the ratings of the stronger sex. The very idea of ​​needing constant support from a lover most often sounds like “devotion,” but without real motivation, the results of a man’s efforts would look less impressive.

An intelligent woman should praise her partner more often, even if the act he committed does not go beyond the ordinary. A husband inspired by praise will do everything not to reduce the level of his importance in the family, and every time he will raise his own bar of possibilities.

An important taboo for a girl who wants to try on the image of the Muse is to never beg for anything from her beloved. Men are afraid like hell to appear financially insolvent to their partners and may lose the “fuse” to move on if they feel that their efforts are not enough at the beginning of the journey.

She takes care of herself

Have you noticed that many people, as soon as they find themselves in a relationship, neglect themselves and stop taking care of their appearance? Well, well, she found a mate, so there’s no need to try.

The ideal woman will never carry around a dirty robe and stretched sweatpants. She wants to look beautiful for you, so she will take care of herself.

Attitude to nutrition

An amazing fact: girls who strive so hard to look perfect and are constantly on exhausting diets risk being left without a serious relationship forever. It turns out that when asked what kind of women men like, many answered that their chosen one should have a good appetite and have an understanding of the proper use of cutlery. Girls who are mannered, ashamed, or who consider it indecent to eat with pleasure and to their heart’s content, in their opinion, are incapable of sincerity in their actions, and want to make a tragedy out of everything in life.

By the way, the ability to enjoy food while observing ethical standards is one of the most important tests that wealthy grooms give their chosen ones. Knowing this, girls should reconsider their attitude towards nutrition and learn not to make a whole theatrical performance out of a simple physiological need.

She's good in bed

You can't build a strong relationship without good sex.

If she constantly comes up with excuses, doesn't show initiative, and categorically won't accept anything other than the missionary position under the covers with the lights off, think about it.

The ideal woman is the one who wants you. She shares your preferences and loves to have sex with you.

Psychologist's comment

Psychologists believe that the very idea of ​​idealizing a certain set of female qualities is based on a man’s desire to extend his comfort zone to his life partner. From the moment she begins to grow up, society sets before a girl a certain metric of conformity, which from now on she must adhere to in order to be appreciated “at its true worth.” However, all the parameters of this concentrate of beneficial properties turn out to be relative when faced with real life.

The preferences of men vary greatly on all points of the “list of ideality”, and what will be enthusiastically accepted by one representative of the stronger sex will seem unacceptable to another. Some guys like assertive, decisive girls, while others imagine only a weak and defenseless person as their wife. A girl should not, having encountered demands on the path to her feminine happiness that are diametrically opposed to her personal preferences, immediately try to break and remake herself.

Before you start changing yourself for your lover, it is very important to understand his motives. There is a type of manipulator who deliberately creates a strict conformity framework for his partner in order to shift all his problems and responsibilities onto her in the future. Or maybe there really is a prospect of a serious relationship ahead, which may be hindered by the girl’s inability to take the side of her chosen one in some issues.

True love, according to psychologists, gives a person flexibility of consciousness and itself awakens to change in the direction desirable for creating a harmonious union. Therefore, various lists of “ideality” are nothing more than material for familiarization and are not a guide to action.

Best feminine properties

I, Daria Milai, will be happy to share my experience with you, tell you in which direction you need to work on yourself in order to create a strong and happy marriage. In the meantime, let's look at the positive characteristics of women who have achieved success in this business.

Wisdom

It comes with age and life experience. But the sooner you find it, the better. This often refers to the ability to find compromises in everything. When your partner is ready to watch football together, although she doesn’t like sports. Or goes with a gentleman to a concert of his favorite band. The ability to take a step forward, show flexibility and not dictate your terms is an important quality of an ideal girl.

beauty

Taking care of yourself and taking care of your appearance are obvious things, and any lady knows about them. Men love naturalness in the fair sex. Bright makeup, vulgar clothing and behavior are unlikely to attract a man with serious intentions. But remember that you can be a beautiful lady not only externally, but also internally. Care, thriftiness, delicacy, intelligence - all this, combined with wisdom, is a powerful weapon that can hit any guy.

Kindness

A wonderful character trait. And if she doesn’t save the whole world, she will definitely support the relationship. The guy wants to spend all his free time with his good chosen one, protect her and make her happy. Such companions create a positive atmosphere around themselves, attractive and alluring. After all, everyone who is close to her is filled with warm emotions and feelings.

Good manners

Upbringing and good manners passed on by parents are a lucky ticket to adulthood. There will be no shame in such a person. Therefore, if she is delicate and smart, knows how to behave in society, then all doors are open to her.

Intelligence

One of the best positive female qualities on our list. It has a place in everything, such as the competent expression of one’s own thoughts, the ability to behave properly in company, the ability to dress beautifully or maintain a conversation on any topic.

Mind

This trait is equivalent to sexuality. Many people are attracted to smart people. They stimulate development and self-improvement. However, you should not overdo it, because there is a rather thin line between intelligence and tediousness. By the way, there are men who are afraid of such persons, since the latter have long begun to occupy high positions in the business sphere, which is considered male territory. Nevertheless, education has never stopped any girl.

Ability to love

One can discuss this topic forever. Love is a wonderful feeling and an important part of any relationship. It brings happiness and spiritual harmony and helps make the family truly strong. Most betrayals occur due to lack of love. A spouse who spends all her energy on work or raising children pays less attention to her partner. Because of this, he seeks affection and tenderness in others.

Loyalty

This is a quality that every girl should have. It is the “foundation” of marriage, and in its absence, most of them fall apart. Relationships where devotion, trust and love reign, remain happy for a long time.

Psychologist Daria Milai

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Passion

A passionate woman is not the one who is in constant hysterics, breaks dishes and is jealous of her husband at every post. This is the most powerful internal energy in a positive way. She attracts like a magnet, bewitches and makes you put the whole world at your feet.

Sexuality

This is an internal state that transforms any lady. A good wife attracts her husband and makes him want her. The opinion about this characteristic is very subjective. After all, gentlemen have different tastes. And if one person rates a particular person at 10 points, then for another she can barely reach 6. For this, it is important to understand male temperaments.

Charm

The ability to find a common language with everyone and to please others. A charming person is attractive not only externally, but also internally. It’s easy and pleasant to communicate with him, and just to be around.

Sense of humor

An extremely important positive trait of a girl. She knows how to get into any company, easily builds professional contacts, freely climbs the career ladder and arouses true interest in her person. The absence of this quality leads to tediousness and boredom. This also includes self-irony. A woman who is able to openly express her shortcomings and is not afraid to laugh at them is real gold.

Thrift

An important property for a good wife and mother. Any husband wants to come home where order, cleanliness and comfort prevail. With the fast pace of life, a woman has time in a day not only to go to work, but also to finish cleaning and prepare a delicious dinner. This is truly aerobatics. However, if you don’t have enough strength to do everything, you can distribute responsibilities by day of the week.

Openness

Pretense has a repulsive effect. Guys are attracted to companions who are not secretive. They are natural in behavior, have no complexes and are open in communication. Guys are attracted to sincerity. After all, this is the only way to attract the only one who can fall in love with the real essence, and not a mask.

The ability to forgive

Understanding that no one can be absolutely perfect is the main feminine quality. Everyone has their own shortcomings and advantages, everyone makes mistakes. It is important to accept this and not criticize your partner for mistakes. After all, only the support of a loved one can open a second wind in him and motivate him to further exploits.

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Presence of zest

A woman is a mystery that a gentleman seeks to solve. This is how he develops an interest in the person. And it will not fade away as long as the peculiarity that attracts the beloved remains in her. This includes not only the internal state, but also an unusual hobby, interest.

Self-development

Activity and determination attract the opposite sex. Those who have a broad outlook and strive for self-improvement arouse genuine interest. This encourages partners to work on themselves. After all, no one wants to lag behind their chosen one and be less smart and resourceful.

Communication Skill

The male sex loves sociable and open natures. It’s easy to find a common language with them, you don’t get bored and there is always something to talk about. But this property should not be confused with talkativeness. It is annoying because a talkative person has a need to interfere in the conversation and discuss uninteresting topics solely for the sake of the process.

Compromise

The phrase “I was wrong” has a truly miraculous effect. The ability to take into account other people's opinions, and not put your own point of view first, listen to your partner and make concessions will help make a marriage truly strong.

Ability to cook

Everyone knows that the way to a gentleman's heart is through his stomach. Every husband wants to come home after a hard day at work, where he smells of a delicious dinner. Not a single chosen one can ignore a girl who loves to please her companion with delicious pancakes in the morning and aromatic borscht in the evening.

Intelligence

The first impression is, of course, made by appearance. After all, this is what immediately catches your eye. But the presence of intelligence makes a man fall in love with his chosen one even more. To do this, you don’t need to complete graduate school, be a brilliant philosopher or a candidate of science. Simply being well-read and understanding the basic principles of life is enough. Smart gentlemen know how to appreciate such people. After all, how can you be ideal if your interests only include monitoring new posts on social networks?

Femininity

In the past, including this property in the list of the best positive qualities of a girl, girl and woman was absurd. This is as obvious as if, when buying a car, the dealership reminded you that you need a steering wheel. However, today we have to say that such a characteristic is important for any person. After all, some of them are endowed with such negative traits that men’s mouths open in surprise.

Confidence

Confident and beautiful becomes unsurpassed. Such friends will help you conquer the whole world and achieve the highest goals. The trait is considered one of the main ones in any personality, and is manifested in the manner of communication, behavior, and gait. It sweeps aside complexes and makes a person more interesting and sociable.

Self-esteem

Such a lady knows her worth and what she wants, and goes towards it with her head held high. She has ambitions that help her become successful in any area of ​​her life, be it work or relationships.

Mental maturity

Many are precocious. There is an opinion that girls are born as adults, while boys become such throughout their lives. Perhaps this was the case before. However, today there is a downward trend in female maturation. Ladies over 30 can behave irresponsibly and be too childish. You become mature with experience. It is the result of overcoming the difficulties and suffering that arise while trying to achieve one's own goals. A woman with the described characteristic is ready for a serious relationship. And this is precisely what attracts the opposite sex.

Self-sufficiency

Self-sufficient individuals have innate independence. They are in a focused state, constantly fighting to change their own future. Therefore, it is not surprising that such people look with contempt at those who cling to a certain area of ​​their lives. Even when it comes to family. Girls who are overly attached to their chosen ones can become ideal for some of them. However, this is a clear indicator that the lady has a flaw. Perhaps she does not have close friends or is not able to make acquaintances.

Of course, we should not exclude the fact that the person is a born housewife, and she does not need anything other than household chores and raising children. However, the ideal spouse has a certain level of self-sufficiency. And all that limits the freedom of such natures is devotion and fidelity to the beloved.

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Modesty

Such a girl knows that excessive pride and inflated self-esteem are the causes of real disasters.

Respect

In a couple, it must be mutual. The wife will not reduce the advantages of her husband, try to insult him or humiliate him. Especially in front of everyone.

Honesty

Few people will plan a serious relationship with a person who can cheat without a twinge of conscience. Moreover, most gentlemen do not know how to determine women's thoughts. They don't take hints, so it's best to talk about everything directly. This will help you overcome difficulties and solve family problems much more effectively.

Naturalness

They just love them. This property should be manifested not only in makeup and clothes, but also in manners, behavior, and the ability to behave in a team. Pretense is often repulsive, so be yourself and, as they say, people will be drawn to you.

Sincerity

Lack of fear to show true feelings and emotions. Such a woman is distinguished by pure intentions, denial of duplicity and self-interest in connection with a partner. She is free to communicate, says what she thinks about. And her love is expressed not in beautiful romantic phrases, but in actions.

Gracefulness

A characteristic inherent in real ladies. They always have a straight posture and a proud gait. Their movements clearly show how well they feel about themselves. And their “highlight” is the slight swaying of the hips when walking. All this has a hypnotic effect on gentlemen.

How to develop self-esteem

Self-esteem and self-esteem are closely related. By increasing one, you will automatically be able to increase the other. So, you can develop an adequate, rather than exaggerated, heart rate in several ways:

1. Look at yourself through the eyes of other people, from the outside. Honestly evaluate your qualities, achievements, and skills. You will be surprised to notice that your shortcomings are not that big. If you see some serious disadvantage, do not blame yourself. Better think about how you can get rid of it. Victory over a problem is an opportunity to develop self-love and respect.
2. Don't belittle your achievements. You may think that they are insignificant compared to the successes of other people. Believe me, there are those who will admire you.
3. Find in your character those qualities for which you can be praised. Feel free to talk about them. If you don't find any, try to work them out. We are not talking about traits that were formed initially. This refers to a sense of humor, insight, neatness. These qualities will overshadow the shortcomings.
4. Another way to develop self-esteem in women and men is to learn to look at things realistically. Set goals that you can definitely achieve.
5. Listen carefully to your desires and feelings. If you don't listen to yourself, those around you will do the same. Therefore, speak boldly, but tactfully and gently about what you want. Don't be afraid to say if you don't agree with something. Don't let people force their opinions on you. Remember, self-esteem means you can live life the way you want.
6. To cultivate dignity, you need to understand when you have lost your inner harmony. Perhaps this happened in early childhood, when you suffered from parental neglect. Or maybe you were seriously hurt in your youth. There are many reasons. Define yours. Share your feelings with someone you can trust. Look at the situation from the outside. This psychological practice will help increase self-esteem, understand yourself as a person, and become more confident.

You can gain self-respect through praise. If you focus on mistakes and shortcomings, depression and apathy develop. Therefore, notice your even small victories and achievements. Praise and encourage yourself. This will increase your self-esteem and also give you the incentive to move on.