Hopelessness is a feeling that has complex mechanisms of formation, belonging to the negative layer of experiences, the basis of which is the subjective perception of the picture of the world as hopeless, since there is no objective unsolvability. It is born when faced with insurmountable obstacles or the impossibility of correcting what happened, i.e. borders closely on hopelessness, despair, and a feeling of one’s own powerlessness.
A feeling of hopelessness appears when faith and hope for a different outcome of the situation disappear, actions become meaningless and a person realizes the impossibility of changes in the desired direction. The inability to see ways of achieving exactly what you want gives rise to a feeling of hopelessness, since the irreversibility of the desired and pleasant consequences, which will also be impossible to prevent, will cause a feeling of joy and slight euphoria. There is also a version that hopelessness arises with the goal of protecting the nervous system from overload, and a person from wrong actions, being a defense mechanism against the wrong path. Those. It’s easier for the body to cut off the supply of energy to something that the subconscious has already assessed as unpromising than to try to reverse the uselessness.
What it is
A state of extreme hopelessness rarely occurs on its own; usually a person takes an active part in this, driving himself into a hopeless corner, losing faith and giving up. Without being biologically fixed at the level of reflexive behavior, fear, satisfaction, security, and hopelessness are largely regulated by the person himself, his ability to notice meanings and maintain his inner faith.
The feeling of hopelessness is a critical moment in the perception of the world and oneself, influencing changes in the value and semantic space. In such a state, everything takes on a negative connotation and there is no way out anywhere, guidelines and desires are lost, the meaning of daily actions, and possibly the whole life. Lost illusions associated with achieving what you want can turn a person towards other goals, or they can force them to stumble into a dead end of impossibility and slow down their whole life. In such a dead end, there is no strength to turn around to choose another direction and there is a terrible awareness of the impossibility of moving on.
A state of extreme hopelessness leads people to alcoholism and drug addiction as ways to escape from the impossibility of reality, and pushes some to commit suicide. This is the highest measure of development and sensation of this feeling, gradually covering all areas of life, regardless of where it began, like metastases in the last stages of cancer. That is why it is important to notice the first signs of loss of faith and hope for changing the situation, for the prospect of development and overcoming, because these are the internal supports that help overcome hopelessness.
There are many life situations that contribute to the development of hopelessness. This is when your health has deteriorated, and after that your apartment has been robbed, when you don’t have a job you love and close relationships, when a project is not a year old, doesn’t get off the ground, or the child whose treatment you are treating isn’t getting better. There are many other examples, both in everyday life and in unique circumstances, but the worst moments of despair occur when several personally significant factors come together. Personal significance is paramount, because even if people die around you, but these are strangers and not loved ones, it is unlikely that this will shake your previous world order with the same force as the death of one dear person. But at the same time, not critical violations, but from all aspects of life can lead to the same result, taken in quantity. It will feel like there will be two different hopelessness - the first is about the loss of an important sphere of life, the second is about the permanent meaninglessness of life.
The most difficult moments are when several factors are combined, and one of them is basic in a person’s semantic system. Seeing exclusively the destruction of his own needs, a person loses faith in the best and loses the strength to overcome difficulties; he turns out to be able to notice only closed doors, without the ability to look around. In many ways, this inability to look around in search of new meanings and paths is due to the large number of frustrations experienced and the lesson learned that the more you look, the more disappointments you have to experience. Without proper support, possibly psychotherapy, hopelessness of this level leads to thoughts of ending life.
Being in a long-term chronic state of hopelessness, not only the mood and volitional manifestations of a person begin to deteriorate, this affects his personality as a whole, and also affects somatic development. The most common physiological reactions are decreased immunity, weakness, postural disorders (hunched over, stooped), breathing problems (pneumonia and bronchitis), neurological disorders (limb tremors and nervous tics), sleep disorders (insomnia, nightmares, intermittent sleep). The longer a person does not get out of the state of hopelessness, the more the disorders worsen, and if in the initial stages it is possible to cope even with physical problems by adjusting the psychological component, then later you have to seek help from physical specialists.
How to overcome feelings of hopelessness?
How to overcome feelings of hopelessness? – The question is difficult, because in a person’s life there are situations when he experiences tension and the feeling that there is no way out. Everyone experiences such moments in their own way.
If one person vitally needs the support of loved ones, then another prefers to be left alone with himself, solving his problems on his own. In both cases, it is necessary to find the true cause of the problem and eliminate it.
Hopelessness is a depressing state of consciousness in which a person cannot find a positive way out of the situation. He tosses around inside himself and feels like he can't do anything. A person believes that he is weak in the face of circumstances and there is no way out.
The state of hopelessness can be caused by anything : fear of the future, concern for one’s health, worry about loved ones, anxiety and panic attacks, loss of meaning in life, etc.
Dealing with hopelessness
Psychological work with hopelessness, apparently, can be built in various ways. The most obvious and tested is to find the reasons, disassemble hopelessness into its components and work with these elements, weakening and eliminating them, while simultaneously strengthening the person’s volitional capabilities.
Another way is to work with the phenomenon as such, gradually changing established habits. For example, inviting a person, first a little, then more, to come into contact with people. It helps some people. Although, I believe that it is necessary to combine different methods.
Why is hopelessness dangerous?
Paralyzes and makes a person passive.
That is, he feels that he must do something, but he cannot do anything - he cannot save his home, he cannot live in a relationship, he cannot create. He is unable to do what has always been important to him.
Takes away dignity.
In a state of hopelessness, a person feels like a victim of circumstances. And the victim has no value or dignity.
Weakens faith.
Faith and hope are a 100% vaccine against hopelessness. It’s not for nothing that they say “despair is cured by hope.” Aspiration is living with hope.
Devours life energy.
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In fact, energy enters the body not so much from food. The maximum burst of energy comes from motivation - the more interesting something is to us, the brighter our eyes burn. And vice versa - if there is no interest or sincere desire to get out of the situation, the brain goes into “sleep” mode and does not generate any ideas.
It makes it difficult to understand what to do next.
In fact, no one is immune from a hopeless situation. But some search, flounder, try, while others prefer to complain about their helplessness.
Forces you to focus on the problem.
Obsession is harmful for three reasons. Firstly, it prevents you from stepping back and looking at the situation from the outside. Secondly, it makes it difficult to listen to outside advice. Thirdly, it does not allow you to relax and rest, because the brain is constantly processing the problem.
Strengthens negative emotions.
Negative emotions are the main enemy of a person in a state of hopelessness. Panic, anger, anger not only overwhelm, but dominate, preventing you from concentrating. Although in a calm situation the way out of the deadlock is much faster.
Instills fear of the future.
Negative scenarios are scary and take a lot of energy to think about. And since there is nothing good in a dead end and there is no way out either, the fear of the future intensifies.
The problem is within, not without.
In a state of hopelessness, the main truth is forgotten: “everything that happens to us is the result of our actions or inaction.” As soon as we stop blaming someone for our failures, our internal energy increases and solutions appear on their own.
Our mind does not tolerate idleness, so it fills the emotional vacuum with any experiences or obsessive thoughts on useless topics. All this is even more disorienting and unsettling. But it is despair in moments of hopelessness that gives you the strength to change something and change yourself.
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How to overcome hopelessness?
The problem experienced by a person as a drama may not be as great as it seems. It may be greatly exaggerated or completely absent. It is the traumatized mind, fear and fantasies with a negative connotation that make you see the situation as hopeless. Even the realization that “my brain came up with all this out of fear” already helps to get out of the depressed state.
The first thing you need to do is to “wake up” your consciousness and understand what is happening to you now. Depression and hopelessness. You need to take good care of your condition. If you cannot cope on your own, tell another person about your problem.
It can be:
- People who are part of a circle of trust.
- People who managed to get through this.
- Best friend.
- Any other person.
You can intuitively turn to the person to whom the soul itself is drawn. It is important to be honest and frank. Any person who finds himself in a difficult situation needs an outside perspective.
In many situations, a third-party look at experiences will help you instantly see the cause and way out of the situation. Your interlocutor will be able to realistically assess how big the scale of your problem is. The fact is that a person in a state of severe anxiety may feel the problem is much more dramatic than it really is.
Ways to solve problems and eliminate internal discomfort
If you can’t share your problems with anyone, you can take a piece of paper or a personal notebook (if you don’t have one, create one) and talk about what’s happening, honestly describing everything you feel inside yourself. Even just describing your state of hopelessness can feel some relief.
Important:
- Write what you feel in every detail (even if it’s embarrassing). Paper will endure anything.
- Now you need to understand yourself and your feelings.
- Reduce the importance of the event.
- Ask yourself a few questions. Think about it, is what happened so terrible? Or did it not happen? How do you really feel when all this happens?
- What are you afraid of? Could it be that what you fear will never happen?
- Write down 10 possible positive ways out of a problem when your situation was resolved positively.
Whatever the degree of hopelessness, it is important to know that:
- In 99% of cases, fears do not come true.
- The expected event does not occur.
- The way out of the situation often appears on its own.
- Rest assured that everything will be fine.
The simple methods mentioned above will help you understand yourself and independently understand the scale of the “tragedy” and find a way out of the situation, up to the complete resolution of the problem.
When is a psychotherapist needed?
There is no way out - in cases where you feel that you cannot cope on your own, and the feeling of hopelessness begins to be long-lasting, you need to urgently consult a psychotherapist.
Prolonged experience of hopelessness can lead to psychosomatic disorders and health problems.
Do not bring the situation to a critical point; you must contact a qualified specialist. It will help relieve anxiety, find a way out, resolve problems and completely restore peace of mind.
*In addition, you can make your worries a little easier by sharing them on our mutual help site. Perhaps someone has already been in a similar situation to yours and can suggest a solution to the problem. Don't be distant - leave an ad and people will definitely come to your aid!
