“What kind of man could be a wonderful husband for me?” “What personal qualities are important for family life?” These questions are often asked by women who dream of meeting their other half. But, oddly enough, what usually attracts most of us (especially in our youth!) to the stronger sex has practically no meaning in marriage...
Male beauty, tall stature and a pumped up body, eloquence, mystery and even self-confidence are not at all what a family man needs (although, of course, it doesn’t hurt either).
But you need to choose a husband based on completely different characteristics. So, I counted as many as twenty masculine qualities that will be very useful in marriage. It is their owners who usually become wonderful husbands and wonderful fathers.
- Reliability
- Responsibility
- Honesty and integrity
- Independence
- Initiative and entrepreneurship
- Intelligence and broad outlook
- Courage and determination
- Energy
- Balance and restraint
- Loyalty
- Resilience and fortitude
- Ability to empathize and support
- Sense of humor
- Generosity and generosity
- Romance
- Patience
- Self-sufficiency
- Discipline
- The habit of taking care of yourself
- Ability to love
Consultation with a psychologist.
Responsibility
Another most important quality of a man in the family. Because marriage is a responsibility. For the family, for its well-being, for myself. Before marriage, pay attention to how a person fulfills his obligations to you, to his loved ones, to friends and employers. If you see that a person approaches all tasks seriously and responsibly, this is most likely how he will behave in the family. By the way, some young ladies may be scared off by such a man: “He is so correct, so serious! It's boring!" This is due to their lack of knowledge.
Loyalty
Another trait of a real man is fidelity. This quality means something more than sexual devotion to one partner. Ladies value fidelity in men in a broader sense, which includes:
- care;
- attentiveness;
- support in difficult life situations.
A real man will always remain faithful to his beloved, lending a reliable shoulder even when she made a mistake and was wrong.
Practicing psychologist in the field of family relationships Anna Iotko writes that each woman individually determines the scope of this concept. In any case, breaking a man’s word in any area of life is regarded by a woman as betrayal.
Honesty and integrity
There is no need for even special explanations here. “I’m looking for an honest and decent man” is the main slogan of most marriage advertisements. But how can you understand that he is exactly like that even before the wedding? Observe carefully, pay special attention to his attitude not only towards you, but also towards other people. If a man blows away specks of dust from you, but at the same time acts unkindly towards his parents and friends, there are some suspicions of what may await you ahead... However, pay attention not only to alarm bells - appreciate manifestations of honesty and purity of character.
Women's opinion
Every woman wants to be loved sincerely. Girls are looking for a man who can support them in difficult moments, be there when necessary, and find the right words of consolation and compliments. First, the fair sex cares about the impression she made on her chosen one. And then tries to find positive qualities in him.
List of the main character traits of an ideal partner from the point of view of women:
- generosity;
- sense of humor;
- restraint;
- honesty;
- accuracy.
First of all, girls pay attention to the main quality - a man’s generosity. This doesn't just apply to gifts and dinners out. If a guy does not regret his free time and is ready to sacrifice meeting with friends for a romantic evening with a loving woman, then he can already be called an ideal option.
A sense of humor is also one of the worthy qualities of men. The ability to cheer up in a tense situation has always been valued by the fair sex. But crude jokes and sarcasm are not popular among women. Honesty is one of the most important qualities, because no one wants to be deceived. A sincere partner will always share his experiences and tell the whole truth.
Accuracy is also important in relationships. A man must be neat and well-groomed. No one likes a slob with dirty shoes and wrinkled clothes. At a minimum, the guy needs to shave, wash his hair and tidy up his suit. This also applies to family life. A real man will not throw away dirty clothes and leave unwashed dishes behind.
Independence
It happens that a woman in love falls into marriage like into a pool. What awaits her there and what the essence of her chosen one is - she does not always realize. And even if she doesn’t like something, the woman is full of confidence that the man will definitely change for her sake.
But men don't change. They only adapt to new circumstances and conditions.
However, independence is a quality that can be successfully developed in marriage. Here the question is different. The chances that a student husband will become more independent over the years, including financially, are very high. And if we have before us a middle-aged man who still judges everything from the words of his mother and is in search of himself, living at the expense of his parents, then the situation is completely different. Quite sad...
Spiritual maturity
What should a real man be like in the eyes of a woman? The famous writer, psychotherapist, candidate of medical sciences Mikhail Litvak is convinced that a man should be spiritually mature. What does this definition mean? The psychologist believes that spiritual maturity includes:
- Highly developed intelligence, which is reflected in a person’s behavior and feelings.
- Well-structured speech, the ability to express complex things in simple and understandable words. It is pleasant to listen to such a man, and in the process of communication there is a desire to follow his recommendations.
- Constant self-improvement. A spiritually mature man does not try to change those around him to suit himself. He is busy improving himself in various aspects of life.
Litvak explains that a real man will never begin communication with sexual demands, since he believes that the initiative to start an intimate relationship should belong to the woman. He can offer them once.
A spiritually mature man understands that if a lady refuses, then her decision is balanced and thoughtful, so persuasion will lead nowhere. Mikhail Labkovsky adds that a real man will not pursue a woman who refused him.
Initiative and entrepreneurship
These are great qualities. An active, purposeful man will be able not only to ensure the financial well-being of his family, but also to cope with the various tasks that life constantly poses to us. An enterprising person does not give in to circumstances, does not become discouraged, does not go with the flow - he acts. Sometimes it can even scare us women. We might prefer to hide from this problem. However, the “ostrich” method will not help us - we will have to learn to support our enterprising man. After all, even the strongest need support.
How and where to find a real man?
Of course, you can find a real knight by accident. But it’s better to increase your chances and visit the most popular places for a fateful meeting:
Gym
An ideal option for finding a sporty, healthy guy. The advantages of the chosen one are obvious: he is purposeful, strives for the best and most likely has a good figure. To get to know the guy you're interested in, ask him to show you the technique of doing the exercise and set up the machine. Conduct the conversation very easily with a smile and an open look.
“An invitation to flirt is written with the eyes.” Jeanne Moreau
For dating, choose the morning hours, since for men who have already achieved something, their working day begins later. In the morning they often play sports, they are relaxed and calm.
Therefore, the likelihood that they will pay attention to you and offer you a glass of juice is very high.
Trainings, courses
Attending these events has two advantages: firstly, you engage in self-development, increase your intellectual level, and secondly, you take a closer look at the men around you who also strive to become better.
Intelligence and broad outlook
Firstly, it’s always interesting to be with such a person. Communication with him fills and contributes to our development. Secondly, a person who has knowledge in various fields has much more abilities and opportunities to solve various tasks and problems in family life - from repairing an electrical appliance to independently resolving legal issues. Thirdly, a truly smart (and not just well-read) man understands a woman much better. And, as my mother likes to say: “You can always come to an agreement with a smart person!” This is another significant plus.
What guys don't girls like?
We figured out what a guy should be like to please a girl. But how to navigate this minefield without making mistakes? There are definitely traits that turn girls off. We won’t be able to list them all, since the same qualities attract some girls and irritate others. But there is a list of things and actions of guys that girls definitely don’t like. This is what we share:
- Rough. Not charismatic, not arrogant, but rude.
- Inattentive. Showing no interest in the girl and not noticing her feelings and reactions.
- Narcissistic. Why do such people need it if they already have someone to pay maximum attention to?
- Sloppy. It’s unpleasant to come home to them, it’s unpleasant to go out in public with them.
- Dependent. Those that, along with the relationship, promise a dozen new problems that the girl will have to solve.
- Irresponsible. Those who do not keep their word and are unable to admit their own mistakes. The girl is unlikely to want to be responsible for the consequences of your decisions.
- Stupid. It's unpleasant to discover that there is nothing to talk to a person about. Especially when stupidity causes mistakes.
- Vain. Most likely, she does not imagine life as a race in which she needs to take the lead. And she is not preparing for the fact that she will have to serve such interests of her young man.
- Vile . There’s no need to even explain here - these are definitely not the men that girls love and adore.
- Seeing no boundaries. If she doesn't want something, and you insist, push, or simply ignore this fact, it becomes dangerous again.
- Not ready to cooperate. When two mature personalities decide to get closer, they will inevitably face obstacles and the need to sacrifice something for the sake of a relationship or, conversely, try and accept something new. Nothing will work with a stubborn person who is incapable of this.
Courage and determination
Women often complain that they are the ones who have to make strong-willed decisions in marriage. While their husband procrastinates... This can happen for two reasons: either we married a very indecisive person, or we ourselves constantly climb into the embrasure, pushing away our spouse with all our might. Everyone knows that a very strong and active woman can overshadow even a naturally courageous and decisive man. Therefore, it is so important for a woman to learn to yield the helm of the family ship to the head of the family, wisely retreating to second positions.
Self confidence
Doctor of Pedagogical Sciences, Professor Kulyash Kunantayeva explains that the meaning of the expression “real man” is not constant - it changes with each generation and differs within social strata. At the same time, from century to century, women mean by this concept certain traits of male character. One of them is self-confidence.
Mikhail Labkovsky says that a man with any appearance will attract women if he learns:
- respect your own wishes;
- provide personal maximum psychological comfort;
- take care of yourself, devote time and money to yourself;
- enjoy, taste life and get pleasure from it.
Writer Brett McKay and his wife Kate in the book “The Art of Being a Real Man. Classic manners and skills for modern men” write that self-confidence is not complacency, but an inner conviction that he really has something to offer his partner.
Energy
A man who prefers the role of a passive observer of the flow of life is of little use in marriage. Family life requires active action.
Needless to say, it is an energetic (in the right direction) spouse who is able to provide for his family and create better living conditions for it. In addition, a man full of strength and energy is very attractive. Yes, with him a woman has to keep herself in good shape, always be competitive - but that’s great! This will prevent her from blooming.
Balance and restraint
Anything can happen in a family... And if you react to all situations extremely emotionally and unrestrainedly, you will not have enough nerves! Living like a powder keg destroys both health and relationships. A reasonable, restrained man is able to react correctly to women’s mood swings and even hysterics. It is clear that there are female specimens that can infuriate even the most imperturbable spouse.
But in most cases, male restraint is the beautiful and dignified behavior of a strong man in response to a woman’s weakness.
After all, a man hysterical and screaming in response is simply a disgusting picture.
Positive traits
Positive character traits of a person - what applies to them
Every girl has her own opinion about what the character of a real man should be. Despite this, everyone agrees that a real man should have the following qualities:
- Masculinity;
- The ability to be there and help out in difficult times;
- Neatness and neatness;
- Independence, having your own opinion;
- Diligence and determination;
- Honesty;
- The ability and desire to earn money.
Note! The husband’s desire to provide for his wife does not mean that his chosen one should not do anything.
Resilience and fortitude
For many women, the first reaction to unexpected unpleasant news is very emotional. Simply put, we panic. Or into a stupor. Yes, then, of course, we pull ourselves together and begin to act. But imagine if there is a panicking and trembling man next to us? This is a real nightmare!
It is the man who should always try to maintain presence of mind and be a strong support for the family. At least in appearance!
Even if his emotions are raging inside... What we see is enough for us!
Generosity7
This is one of the most sought after character traits that sweeps women off their feet. When a man can spend money on his beloved, this is very welcomed by girls.
Countless wealth does not play a role here, but rather a generous attitude when he spares nothing for her. If a guy wants to win a woman’s heart, then he should give her gifts, even small little things will be pleasant for the lady. The richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos, with a fortune of 137.4 billion, is popular with women. Maybe there is a connection too. So we should act in this direction.
Generosity and generosity
It is unlikely that anyone will want to marry Plyushkin, even despite all his wealth. Greed and stinginess turn a woman away from a potential husband candidate already in the first stages of a relationship: “Darling, could you pay for us - my finances are a little tight...” Chocolate and cloves for the entire candy-bouquet period - even the most ascetic ladies will not like this. And vice versa, the generosity of a man (to the extent of his financial capabilities) will not leave any woman indifferent. A generous attitude towards your beloved is another quality that is very valuable in marriage. After all, we are not always bunnies... And then we ourselves are very ashamed. But if a man sometimes treats our whims generously and condescendingly, it’s worth a lot!
Sense of humor6
Ladies adore cheerful boys who can amuse them, tell an interesting story, and they will be proud of him in the company. According to psychologists, humor is one of the effective ways to resolve conflict. Sometimes this is more than appropriate. You definitely shouldn’t make the girl herself the butt of your jokes. It is recommended to joke about yourself.
If a man turns into a clown, a comedy series hero who is incapable of seriousness, the weaker sex does not like this. Therefore, balance must be maintained. Humor needs to be dosed.
Romance
We are all princesses at heart... Even if age has long stopped us from admitting it. Even if we were raised as warriors... Every woman appreciates the romantic impulses of the stronger sex. Candlelight dinners, tender confessions, compliments, bouquets of flowers, courageous deeds in our honor - all this affects us, even if for some reason we try to resist advances. Of course, complete romance in marriage is impossible - even very young girls understand this. But the romantic behavior of a husband (even occasionally!) is exactly what a wife needs in order to feel like a real woman - loved and beautiful.
Determination
Second from the list of “The Best Qualities of a Man.” Even the best, strongest man in the world is unable to achieve absolutely anything without determination. Goal is the key to success, and therefore what we set as a goal often radically influences our destiny.
Determination and similar masculine qualities are very well fueled by a woman. A good wife knows how to inspire her husband with just one word, making him strong and irresistible in moving towards his goal.
The main thing is to keep track of what goal the man is pursuing. The thirst for money alone will not lead you to happiness. Wish for happiness and success, the path to which is long and difficult, because happiness lies in the path to the goal, and not in achieving it.
Self-sufficiency
This quality seems controversial. Why does a self-sufficient man need a family? If his own company is enough for him. However, everything is not so simple. A self-sufficient person is a self-confident person who independently chooses his own path in life and does not allow himself to be manipulated. He is the master of his life. Yes, for a woman who wants to manipulate her husband according to her own understanding, such a man is definitely not suitable. But the one who wants a strong and confident person next to her, capable of taking responsibility for the family and solving problems on her own, will be next to him as if behind a stone wall. Another thing is that such a man must constantly live up to...
Top 20
Responsibility
In the first place, of course, is responsibility. It doesn’t matter what social status or appearance if a man does not know how to take responsibility for his actions. At least for mature and conscious representatives of the fair sex. After all, how can you trust a person who tries to shift the fulfillment of some of his tasks and even blame onto others? A responsible man is able to take care of his family, otherwise, in extreme cases, this responsibility will fall on fragile female shoulders, and this process does not inspire respect at all.
Determination
A person who knows exactly what he wants will definitely achieve it. And those who are accustomed to going with the flow will almost never be satisfied with the shore on which they wash up. After all, it is important for a woman to understand that her beloved has not only desires, but also clearly formed goals towards which he is moving, then she can be calm about the future. And aimlessness is the prerogative of those people who waste their lives without appreciating it.
Ability to keep your word
To be trusted and believed, you need to be able to not only promise, but also be sure to keep your promises, even if they are completely unprofitable and you change your mind. So don’t throw words to the wind, it will play a cruel joke on you; it is almost impossible to regain lost trust. If you have difficulty with this topic, check out this article.
Sense of humor
Life without stress, tension and various experiences is impossible; they await us every day and at every step, so a person who is able to defuse the situation and create a comfortable, cheerful atmosphere where you can allow yourself to relax is highly valued.
Generosity
Basically, it is not so important for a woman how much a man earns; what is more valuable is what he is ready to give her based on his financial situation. After all, even if he has millions, he can save on such vital things as medicines or groceries. Or earn a little, but still try to please your sweetheart with flowers, new clothes, etc. A greedy person is not able to give, and full-fledged harmonious relationships do not tolerate an imbalance in the “give-receive” process.
Confidence
If a person is not confident in himself, he will not believe that he deserves love, that he is worthy of it, and therefore will not take action to win the girl he likes. And being around someone who constantly doubts their abilities is difficult. Therefore, be sure to look at the article about methods on how to believe in yourself.
Care
No matter how brutal and strong a man is, it is important for a woman that he knows how to take care of loved ones and herself. It is caring that helps her feel happy in a relationship, loved and valuable. It is care that encourages you to give more in return and experience tenderness, gratitude and recognition for your chosen one.
Attention
It’s not for nothing that girls are sometimes compared to flowers that need constant attention because they will also “wither” and worry if they don’t receive it. And this doesn’t mean that you should be next to her 24 hours a day, no, it manifests itself in the little things. For example, hold the door, give an unexpected compliment and, most importantly, hear it and notice it.
Loyalty
It is a rare girl who does not dream of a man who will remain faithful to her under any circumstances, even if he is seduced by Miss World. The ability to concentrate on one thing, and not chase after quantity, is actually a sign of maturity and awareness.
Honesty
Valuable in absolutely any relationship, otherwise how can you be in them? And by basically telling the truth, you will make your life much easier because you won’t have to keep in your head a whole bunch of unnecessary information about what exactly you lied to and to whom. There are situations when, with the help of lies, we, on the contrary, try to protect loved ones from worries, but if a person uses it constantly, and even then in order to avoid responsibility for his actions and misdeeds or to appear better than he really is - the female half of humanity may not forgive.
Openness
You don’t have to shout to the whole world about your deepest thoughts, problems, etc. No, you just shouldn’t close yourself off from your loved ones and be frank with them. It will be important for a person who sincerely loves you to understand what is happening to you and what feelings you are experiencing.
Stability, stability and reliability
The unknown causes anxiety, especially when you don't know what to expect from your partner. Subconsciously, representatives of the fair sex choose a person with whom they can create a family in which it will be calm and orderly.
Sociability
Sociable people attract attention, therefore, if you want to conquer a girl, you should not sit there looking as if everything and everyone around you is not at all interesting or pleasant to you. Especially if you are among her friends. By arousing the interest of other people, you will let her know that you are truly a special person who is worth paying attention to. See how you can develop the qualities that will make you a welcome guest in any company here.
Mind
I’m sure you’ve heard more than once that cute creatures are sometimes more excited by an intelligent and well-read person than by a pumped-up or simply handsome one. Smart people strive to understand the world, they want to develop and tirelessly move forward. And this is very attractive and exciting to the weak half of humanity. And there will always be something to talk about, to admire...
Spirituality
In addition to intelligence, it is very valuable when a partner’s inner world is rich, when he is conscious and understands why he came into this world and how he can be useful. A spiritually poor person is not capable of giving love, much less appreciating it. You can get more detailed information about this here.
Neatness and sense of style
You don’t have to follow fashion, but if your shirt and trousers are always clean and ironed, and your shoes are polished, you will be able to win the attention of some beauty. But this is half the battle, you also need to worry about the cleanliness of your body, use eau de toilette sparingly and at least get a haircut periodically. It seems like I’m talking about very banal things, but in fact, not everyone considers hygiene and neatness an important component of their life.
Temperament
I may surprise you, but women want sex no less than the stronger half of humanity. Therefore, if the chosen one is simply ideal in all manifestations, but is not entirely interesting in bed, then the girl may well end the conversation. Excitement, passion, tenderness and desire of a partner strengthen and make relationships more “alive”, because sexuality is a very significant component of them.
Kindness
Heartlessness and cruelty are not only alarming, but also frightening and repulsive. Observing how the chosen one behaves with animals, children, people who need help, the girl draws conclusions regarding their further communication.
Force
Moreover, both physical and mental strength. It is important to be able to protect your loved one, but it is no less valuable to show character in overcoming difficulties, in the process of achieving your goals, and even more so when struggling with various kinds of addictions and weaknesses. By the way, you can check your willpower level using the link “Willpower Test”.
Self-love and self-respect
We are treated the way we ourselves allow; therefore, if a person is not able to take care of himself and value his life, satisfy needs and defend boundaries, he will not be able to respect himself and loved ones. And it is important for the fair sex to respect and admire their chosen one. If you have difficulties with this topic, be sure to look at the article “What does it mean to love yourself and how to learn to respect your personality?”
Discipline
Some men have been disorganized and somewhat unserious about life since their school years. They may be late, forget to complete an assigned task, do everything “behind them,” be distracted from an important task... The wives of such husbands often call them “another child in the family.” There is infantilism in behavior here. A disciplined man is the exact opposite of a “man-child.” This is a responsible person who takes the assigned tasks seriously. You can rely on him for everything. Needless to say, this is exactly the kind of life partner that most unmarried women dream of.
Who is the ideal man
The phrases “ideal man” and “dream man” are found so often that they are no longer given much meaning. No one knows exactly what this ideal looks like, what its character is, and what qualities it possesses. Everyone puts their own meaning into these words.
For any woman, the standard qualities of an ideal man include high intelligence, wit and respect. Everyone dreams of seeing next to her a handsome and fit chosen one who will give gifts, preferably with his own apartment and car. He must have beautiful eyes and a charming appearance. All this looks like a description of a prince from a fairy tale, but not a description of a real man.
According to family psychologists, the main qualities of a man should include:
- Kindness is the first quality that all girls talk about when describing their ideal. A kind person will come to the rescue, love his children and value his family;
- Reliability. This can be called a person who will not change his opinion and will do what he promised;
- Ability to care. Everyone wants to see a chosen one next to her who will take care of her and say pleasant words;
- Responsibility. A man must realize that he is the head of the family, the woman and his children depend on him;
- Loyalty. Every woman wants to be sure that her husband will not leave her or exchange her for another.
Note! All girls are partly right when they describe real masculine qualities in their character, but many of them are exaggerated. For example, having a car is an absolute plus, but if a guy with a car turns out to be an infantile egoist, he can hardly be called an ideal.
