People do not become cynics because of a good life. Let's talk about cynicism with the author of this article.
Have you ever wondered why there are so many cynics in the world? Surely, in your surroundings there are people who do not feed bread, let them devalue everything that most people consider the life basis of the foundations. Oscar Wilde once gave a very succinct definition of cynicism: “Nowadays people know the price of everything, but they know how to value nothing.”
Concept in simple words
Cynicism is an openly disdainful attitude towards the moral principles and ideals accepted in society.
Denial of existing values and ideas.
Cynical behavior is always demonstrative and defiant.
People who have it tend to show their rejection of the norms in force in society. The main incentive for activity for them is the achievement of their own interests, which are the only true ones.
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This man knows everything about everyone, while trampling on the moral traditions accepted in society. Cynicism has a lot of definitions and none of them hit the mark; there is always some other note not hit. Living with a cynic is difficult, disgusting and unhappy: it is he who will point out the sore spot with a grin at the most inopportune moment, it is he who will go to someone else because it will be more comfortable and warmer there, this is the very type on whom you can never rely. People usually marry such people not out of great love, but simply because the time has come. How to live with a cynic?Cynicism as a lifestyle
Cynicism has a clear encyclopedic interpretation: behavior or personal position that expresses a conscious or demonstrative disdain for certain moral traditions and ethical rituals, as interfering or redundant for solving practical problems. At first, the followers of the philosophical school of Antisthenes in the 4th century BC were called cynics, who denied all the norms and traditions of society, neglected earthly goods, arguing that a person can only be ashamed of vice. Many centuries later, in the 19th century, the philosophy of cynicism was transformed into a personal attitude towards the foundations of society.
Cynicism and rudeness, rudeness, tactlessness are relatives. A cynic denies, violates moral and ethical standards of behavior in society, ridicules and despises them. Can people selflessly help each other? Does anyone else believe in eternal love? Are there pure relationships between people, based on trust and mutual assistance? The cynic questions all these postulates, having accumulated disappointment and mistrust over the years of his life. Cynics see life without embellishment, according to their own beliefs, but this is only their picture of the world.
How to become cynics
“Cynicism is dangerous, first of all, because it elevates malice into a virtue,” these immortal words of Andre Maurois characterize the cynic as an evil and rude idealist. A cynic man is most often a loser and sufferer, an insecure person, but pride does not allow him to expose the weak sides of his character and biography. This terrible mask of indifference and arrogance grows firmly with the personality over time, becoming his second self. Cynicism is self-defense from a world of cruelty.
People do not become cynics from birth; usually these are the consequences of some negative events, rude refusals or serious psychological childhood traumas. The child withdraws into himself, not finding support and mutual understanding in the outside world, and hides behind rudeness. Over time, negative experiences accumulate to a critical mass and a person begins to question any manifestations of a positive attitude towards the world of other people.
How to live with a cynic
The cynic does not believe in love; once he has chosen a woman who is comfortable in all respects as his wife, he firmly believes that she cannot love anyone unselfishly. Trust, friendship and respect are concepts for such a person from the world of romance and fantasy. Living with a cynic is comfortable only in one case: if the wife is a cynic herself. In all other cases, a woman needs great love to melt the ice of mistrust, proving that there are high relationships in the world. However, every time he will question any of her actions, expecting a stab in the back.
Living with a cynic is fraught with a bad example for growing children: the father’s philosophy can become contagious, and the family will raise another mentally disabled person. It is difficult to warm the cold soul of a cynic, but it is possible - there are so many caring and loving women in the world. But often remaking an adult is a waste of time if he himself does not want any changes.
Cynicism is a graveyard of hopes and the complete opposite of romanticism. Many women with gray hair often live in anticipation of their prince on a white horse, unless, of course, they are poisoned by a bitter life with a cynic.
Zhanna Pyatirikova
Cynical man
Usually, disregard for social foundations is characteristic of people who strive to prove their superiority , achieve their goals by any means, and resist the injustice and hypocrisy of society.
That is, the reasons that prompt a person to behave in such a non-standard way may be different. The result is always the same - misunderstanding, irritation, rejection from other people.
Cynical behavior almost always becomes a source of conflict situations, since the life position of its bearer does not correspond to the beliefs of the majority .
A person deliberately reduces the importance of things that are significant to other people and questions generally accepted authorities.
This cannot but cause irritation. Often irony and mockery slip into his behavior, which only aggravates the situation.
Typically, individuals who neglect moral ideals are characterized by a tough, secretive character. They are demanding, straightforward, insightful.
A cynic is sure that everything in this world can be bought. He discards any ideas about shame, morality, principles, ethics. Everything, in his opinion, has a logical basis and material value .
The surrounding people are viewed from the standpoint of usefulness. If someone no longer meets the requirements placed on him, he can always be replaced.
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First date, dinner at a restaurant. The flame of a candle, frozen flowers in a vase, the sounds of music, his frank gaze. The chosen one is smart, insightful, and good-looking. What else will please you? And he says: “You know, I think it’s time to move on to the next stage. Where will we go - to you, to me, or do you prefer a hotel?.. I told you, I’m a cynic, I call a spade a spade and can’t stand walking hand in hand...” In fact, what’s “military” in his words? Sooner or later, the bouquet and candy period will end with this. However, you are not yet “full” of romance, you want flowers and poetry, and in his opinion, life is too short to waste it on sauce if you can immediately move on to the main course. And it seems that according to the Hamburg account, he is right. But for some reason I want to throw a bouquet at the truth teller and scratch out those cold eyes. And in the future, bypass the cynics by a roundabout road. I found something to be proud of!..
“The cynic is a scoundrel whose deceptive vision sees things as they are and not as they should be.” Ambrose Bierce.
Indeed, there is nothing to be proud of. It is we who put into the concept of “cynic” the devilish attractiveness of Pechorin, because “evil in no one is so attractive.” Initially, the Greek word “cynic” did not imply anything tempting. Around the 4th century BC. The philosopher Antisthenes “muddied the waters.” Which called to despise the benefits of civilization and return to unity with nature. By the way, the word “kinos” is translated as “canine”, and “kinism” literally means a dog’s way of life. Maximum naturalness and naturalness!
Particularly successful in popularizing this idea was Diogenes of Sinope, known for living in a barrel and wandering around the city during the day with a lantern - “looking for a man.” But if these feats can be regarded as the quirks of a genius, then it is extremely difficult to find an explanation for his other antics: he walked naked, did not hesitate to perform physical needs in front of an astonished public, drank water from a puddle, and ate raw meat. And he was not shy about engaging in handjobs, again in front of everyone. When the offended citizens reproached the eccentric Cynic, saying, dear sir, at least turn the corner, Diogenes joyfully replied: “Oh, if only it were possible to achieve satiety in such a simple way! So that you rub your belly and you won’t be hungry!”
This was an excursion into the history of the issue. Today's cynics also deny the achievements of civilization. But not material, but spiritual. They believe that it is necessary to reject false shame, call things by their proper names, and say whatever they want. They despised one of the main commandments of life in society - “the white man’s burden,” as the writer Rudyard Kipling called it. According to which, if a person lives in a society, he obeys its laws and traditions. That is, he must observe etiquette, show tact, respect fellow citizens, show respect to the elderly, etc. But the law is not written to cynics.
In their opinion, there is no shame, pity, sympathy, or interests of society. This is just a false mask covering the basis of nature - personal interest. Therefore, you should not engage in charity, waste time on courtship, give compliments, make beautiful impulses in your soul - all this is impractical. It costs nothing for a cynic to start a conversation about inheritance at the bedside of a seriously ill relative - but what?! It's an everyday matter...
“A cynic is a man who, smelling flowers, looks around for a coffin.” Henry Mencken.
History knows many cynics whom society found, as they would say now, funny. We are already familiar with Diogenes, next up is Sir Oscar Wilde. The writer is known for his sparkling aphorisms, brilliant paradoxes, and shaking of social pillars. He was deified and persecuted, died in poverty and loneliness.
The fictional cynics are also impressive – Lermontov’s Pechorin, Pushkin’s Onegin. And a little “from a different opera”, but still on topic - Doctor of Medicine Gregory House from the series of the same name. How do they take prisoners? They are smart, charming, ironic, see the true essence of things, and usually emerge victorious from any life situations.
Sometimes their morality (or rather, lack thereof) may seem original and tempting. For example, is it worth respecting all old people without exception? After all, some of the achievements are just a fact of many years, behind them is an unremarkable, or even completely unlucky life. Do you admire the song about “at sunset, where the sails burn”? The cynic will only grin, saying that long walks towards fate make your feet ache and cause blisters. Should we value the opinion of the public? The cynic will doubt its value and
will offer, regardless of everything, to do as you please. It is this unbearable person who will save you from the dangerous illusions that you are in debt to someone, obligated to something.
From his words you can feel the incredible lightness of life, the main motto of which is “love yourself, don’t care about everyone else, and success awaits you in life.” And now the main catch: you can listen to his speeches and insinuations at a safe distance, but living in close proximity - hell no, replace it with execution. Because he will not hesitate to spit on you, will not spare your feelings, will say impartiality without choosing words. So to have such a gentleman as a friend, much less as a lover, is a dubious pleasure. No matter how much you believe that man is the crown of Nature, created in the image and likeness of God, the cynic will clip his wings with the terrible truth that Homo sapiens is just a machine for the production of organic fertilizers.
“It’s usually the man who is to blame for a woman’s cynicism.” Jozef Maciejewski.
Just as women are to blame for male cynicism. It is not without reason that they say that a cynic is a disillusioned romantic. Of course, failures in life can throw anyone from heaven to earth, but they do not cause such deep heart wounds as disappointments in love. Judge for yourself: let’s say a guy dreamed of becoming a doctor, healing and getting him back on his feet. And after receiving a diploma and getting a job, it turned out that doctors’ salaries do not exceed the smallest pension. For which, not only you can’t put others on their feet, you can’t hold out your own. Can this make a person cynical? Well, reality will disappoint, but it is far from misanthropy. Because everyone goes through this.
And it’s a completely different matter if a young lady inflicts a cruel insult. He loved, trembled and burned, was sure that no one would ever love her like that, he was ready to lay down his own life at her feet. And this FIFA chose stupid Vitka in a foreign car over his lover. This is how the first commandment of the cynic is born: “all women are corrupt.” The trailer is followed by words about “there is no love”, “money rules the world.” The most interesting thing is that thousands of other guys experienced a similar story, but they found the strength to come to terms with it and understand: they were unlucky with this one - they would meet another, curlier, rosy and more cheerful.
And the offended knight is nursing his grief, how they encroached on the sacred, rejected his love. How can you disagree with the writer James Cozzens: “A cynic is a person who, at the age of ten, discovered that there is no Santa Claus, and cannot come to terms with it.” It would seem, don’t draw general conclusions, don’t become hard-hearted, live and be happy. But no, “they don’t want to.” More precisely, they cannot. Because he believed too much, soared so high and hit so hard!
“A cynic is a person who knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.” Oscar Wilde.
“There is no love, I don’t believe in it, there are instincts, hormonal riots - anything but love,” this is the Song of Songs of any cynic. In fact, after repeated severe disappointments, he still in the depths of his soul (somewhere very deep) hopes that one day the established system will fail. And he will love. And he will be reciprocated. And everything will be like with people. Otherwise I’m tired of being a warrior alone in the field.
“Specially gifted” believe that a cynic is capable of falling in love only with a young, pure girl who will look at him as a deity and listen to every word. But no. A true (we emphasize) cynic is smart and proud. And for his pride it is unbearable to have a young lady of mediocre intelligence next to him. Walking with her “in public” - yes, sharing a bed - yes, but it’s better not to talk about love. Only a mature, wise, patient and moderately cynical woman can break the ice of his disbelief. But there is a catch here - will this woman throw all her strength into conquering a dubious peak? You can butt heads at first, but then you get tired, you just want to live. And in the sunset you can see the beginning of a mysterious night, and not just the rotation of the earth around its axis.
“The cynic is right nine times out of ten, but he is convinced that he is right in all ten cases. That's what makes him unbearable." Charles Issawi.
A relationship with him will not be easy, he will not bombard you with midnight SMS in the midst of an affair, he will preserve your sleep, productivity and personal plans, which you are not always included in. But if you accept it in your heart, this is a great victory. However, even in this case, he will not become a fluffy bunny overnight. If you don’t look so great in a new dress, he’ll say so, maximum indulgence - he’ll choose softer words. He will not buy into women’s tears, will not believe confused excuses, and will openly tell his mother-in-law that he is not delighted with her arrival.
But for the most part, cynics are successful people, since they built a career without unnecessary illusions, often sacrificing principles, using all means. He will plan everything possible, foresee all the obstacles and find ways to eliminate them. And certainly a cynic is preferable to a rabid romantic who is ready to “give that star over there” and nothing else. In general, you will get a union where you will definitely be well fed. But will it be warm?
“There is nothing more deplorable than a young cynic, because from a person who knows nothing he has turned into one who believes in nothing.” Maya Angelou.
No matter how they say, the time is cynical now, there is nothing sacred left, and there are cynics a dime a dozen, there are very few real “Pechorins”. Typically demonstrative contempt
and disdain for everything and everyone is just a pose, a mask to hide vulnerability and self-doubt. Such a specimen is a fine fellow among the sheep, and against a fine fellow himself... How many of them, squirming with disgust at the sight of those “who are shorter,” ready to say impartiality to those of equal status and, preferably, shorter. But for some reason, those who are silent in society are strong, successful, capable of “correcting a portrait” if necessary. In a word, one should not confuse a sober, cold mind and undisguised rudeness coupled with anger, mixed with bad upbringing.
When you are thinking about how to respond to a proposal to quickly get closer, immediately discard thoughts about the eternal women's games: he will see through any trick. Act solely based on your own interests and do not hesitate to voice them. If a person uses such tactics, he must be prepared for retaliatory moves against him.
Author: Natalya Grebneva
Psychology
People who ridicule social norms are perceived as aggressors . But from a psychological point of view, cynicism is not always a way of demonstrating dominant behavior.
Often this is a kind of defensive reaction of a person who tries to hide his own experiences behind a mask of indifference.
In such cases, the cynic turns out to be a soft and vulnerable individual who similarly builds a wall between himself and other people.
This allows him to protect his inner world from gross interference from the outside and to protect himself from possible suffering.
Thus, a man who has experienced betrayal may subsequently demonstrate disdain for all representatives of the fair sex for fear of being betrayed again.
If there is no internal psychological trauma behind such a life attitude, then we can talk about a conscious choice of this style of behavior.
Individuals with a rebellious character choose it to express a negative attitude towards the existing order of things in society.
Beware: Cynic
This man knows everything about everyone, while trampling on the moral traditions accepted in society. Cynicism has a lot of definitions and none of them hit the mark; there is always some other note not hit.
Living with a cynic is difficult, disgusting and unhappy: it is he who will point out the sore spot with a grin at the most inopportune moment, it is he who will go to someone else because it will be more comfortable and warmer there, this is the very type on whom you can never rely. People usually marry such people not out of great love, but simply because the time has come. How to live with a cynic?
Cynicism as a lifestyle
Cynicism has a clear encyclopedic interpretation: behavior or personal position that expresses a conscious or demonstrative disdain for certain moral traditions and ethical rituals, as interfering or redundant for solving practical problems.
At first, the followers of the philosophical school of Antisthenes in the 4th century BC were called cynics, who denied all the norms and traditions of society, neglected earthly goods, arguing that a person can only be ashamed of vice. Many centuries later, in the 19th century, the philosophy of cynicism was transformed into a personal attitude towards the foundations of society.
Cynicism and rudeness, rudeness, tactlessness are relatives. A cynic denies, violates moral and ethical standards of behavior in society, ridicules and despises them. Can people selflessly help each other? Does anyone else believe in eternal love? Are there pure relationships between people, based on trust and mutual assistance?
The cynic questions all these postulates, having accumulated disappointment and mistrust over the years of his life. Cynics see life without embellishment, according to their own beliefs, but this is only their picture of the world.
How to become cynics
“Cynicism is dangerous, first of all, because it elevates malice into a virtue,” these immortal words of Andre Maurois characterize the cynic as an evil and rude idealist. A cynic man is most often a loser and sufferer, an insecure person, but pride does not allow him to expose the weak sides of his character and biography.
This terrible mask of indifference and arrogance grows firmly with the personality over time, becoming his second self. Cynicism is self-defense from a world of cruelty.
People do not become cynics from birth; usually these are the consequences of some negative events, rude refusals or serious psychological childhood traumas. The child withdraws into himself, not finding support and mutual understanding in the outside world, and hides behind rudeness.
Over time, negative experiences accumulate to a critical mass and a person begins to question any manifestations of a positive attitude towards the world of other people.
How to live with a cynic
The cynic does not believe in love; once he has chosen a woman who is comfortable in all respects as his wife, he firmly believes that she cannot love anyone unselfishly. Trust, friendship and respect are concepts for such a person from the world of romance and fantasy. Living with a cynic is comfortable only in one case: if the wife is a cynic herself.
In all other cases, a woman needs great love to melt the ice of mistrust, proving that there are high relationships in the world. However, every time he will question any of her actions, expecting a stab in the back.
Living with a cynic is fraught with a bad example for growing children: the father’s philosophy can become contagious, and the family will raise another mentally disabled person. It is difficult to warm the cold soul of a cynic, but it is possible - there are so many caring and loving women in the world. But often remaking an adult is a waste of time if he himself does not want any changes.
Cynicism is a graveyard of hopes and the complete opposite of romanticism. Many women with gray hair often live in anticipation of their prince on a white horse, unless, of course, they are poisoned by a bitter life with a cynic.
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How does it manifest?
Men and women have different psychological characteristics, so the manifestation of cynicism has its own nuances.
In men
For men, success, career, money are always in the foreground . It is important for a man to be fulfilled in life. Accordingly, cynicism is often characteristic of those representatives of the stronger sex who have not been able to achieve great heights.
Behind the mask of contempt for society lies a feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself and unfulfillment in the professional sphere.
In his personal life, a man’s cynicism can be justified by the traumas he has experienced. Resentment towards one woman can develop into aggression towards all women, which ultimately manifests itself in a mocking, dismissive attitude.
Women and girls are perceived as things that have a certain value.
Male cynicism can be caused by other reasons.
Thus, the desire for material wealth can gradually lead to a complete loss of spirituality and morality.
The habit of thinking rationally and looking for benefits everywhere is transferred to all areas of life: friendship, love, family.
Among women
Women primarily live by feelings and emotions. For them, personal life is usually more important than career achievements. Accordingly, women become cynical when they fail in relationships or family .
Failures in their personal lives make them tough, aggressive, and distrustful. Relying only on herself, a woman stops trusting others. All principles imposed by society irritate her.
Women's cynicism carries a greater danger than men's. He's angrier and tougher.
Representatives of the fair sex are created by nature for motherhood and family. This purpose implies the presence of spiritual qualities: gentleness, affection, kindness. Accordingly, a cynical woman moves away from her nature and approaches more the masculine essence .
New in blogs
...First date, dinner at a restaurant. The flame of a candle, frozen flowers in a vase, the sounds of music, his frank gaze. The chosen one is smart, insightful, and good-looking. What else will please you? And he says: “You know, I think it’s time to move on to the next stage. Where will we go - to you, to me, or do you prefer a hotel?.. I told you, I’m a cynic, I call a spade a spade and can’t stand walking hand in hand...” In fact, what’s “military” in his words? Sooner or later, the bouquet and candy period will end with this. However, you are not yet “full” of romance, you want flowers and poetry, and in his opinion, life is too short to waste it on sauce if you can immediately move on to the main course. And it seems that according to the Hamburg account, he is right. But for some reason I want to throw a bouquet at the truth teller and scratch out those cold eyes. And in the future, bypass the cynics by a roundabout road. I found something to be proud of!..
“The cynic is a scoundrel whose deceptive vision sees things as they are and not as they should be.” Ambrose Bierce .
Indeed, there is nothing to be proud of. It is we who put into the concept of “cynic” the devilish attractiveness of Pechorin, because “evil in no one is so attractive.” Initially, the Greek word “cynic” did not imply anything tempting. Around the 4th century BC. The philosopher Antisthenes “muddied the waters.” Which called to despise the benefits of civilization and return to unity with nature. By the way, the word “kinos” is translated as “canine”, and “kinism” literally means a dog’s way of life. Maximum naturalness and naturalness! Particularly successful in popularizing this idea was Diogenes of Sinope, known for living in a barrel and wandering around the city during the day with a lantern - “looking for a man.” But if these feats can be regarded as the quirks of a genius, then it is extremely difficult to find an explanation for his other antics: he walked naked, did not hesitate to perform physical needs in front of an astonished public, drank water from a puddle, and ate raw meat. And he was not shy about engaging in handjobs, again in front of everyone. When the offended citizens reproached the eccentric Cynic, saying, dear sir, at least turn the corner, Diogenes joyfully replied: “Oh, if only it were possible to achieve satiety in such a simple way! So that you rub your belly and you won’t be hungry!”
This was an excursion into the history of the issue. Today's cynics also deny the achievements of civilization. But not material, but spiritual. They believe that it is necessary to reject false shame, call things by their proper names, and say whatever they want. They despised one of the main commandments of life in society - “the white man’s burden,” as the writer Rudyard Kipling called it. According to which, if a person lives in a society, he obeys its laws and traditions. That is, he must observe etiquette, show tact, respect fellow citizens, show respect to the elderly, etc. But the law is not written to cynics. In their opinion, there is no shame, pity, sympathy, or interests of society. This is just a false mask covering the basis of nature - personal interest. Therefore, you should not engage in charity, waste time on courtship, give compliments, make beautiful impulses in your soul - all this is impractical. It costs nothing for a cynic to start a conversation about inheritance at the bedside of a seriously ill relative - but what?! It's an everyday matter...
“A cynic is a man who, smelling flowers, looks around for a coffin.” Henry Mencken.
History knows many cynics whom society found, as they would say now, funny. We are already familiar with Diogenes, next up is Sir Oscar Wilde. The writer is known for his sparkling aphorisms, brilliant paradoxes, and shaking of social pillars. He was deified and persecuted, died in poverty and loneliness.
The fictional cynics are also impressive – Lermontov’s Pechorin, Pushkin’s Onegin. And a little “from a different opera”, but still on topic - Doctor of Medicine Gregory House from the series of the same name. How do they take prisoners? They are smart, charming, ironic, see the true essence of things, and usually emerge victorious from any life situations. Sometimes their morality (or rather, lack thereof) may seem original and tempting. For example, is it worth respecting all old people without exception? After all, some of the achievements are just a fact of many years, behind them is an unremarkable, or even completely unlucky life. Do you admire the song about “at sunset, where the sails burn”? The cynic will only grin, saying that long walks towards fate make your feet ache and cause blisters. Should we value the opinion of the public? A cynic will doubt his value and suggest, regardless of everything, to do as he pleases. It is this unbearable person who will save you from the dangerous illusions that you are in debt to someone, obligated to something. From his words you can feel the incredible lightness of life, the main motto of which is “love yourself, don’t care about everyone else, and success awaits you in life.” And now the main catch: you can listen to his speeches and insinuations at a safe distance, but living in close proximity - hell no, replace it with execution. Because he will not hesitate to spit on you, will not spare your feelings, will say impartiality without choosing words. So to have such a gentleman as a friend, much less as a lover, is a dubious pleasure. No matter how much you believe that man is the crown of Nature, created in the image and likeness of God, the cynic will clip his wings with the terrible truth that Homo sapiens is just a machine for the production of organic fertilizers.
“It’s usually the man who is to blame for a woman’s cynicism.” Jozef Maciejewski.
Just as women are to blame for male cynicism. It is not without reason that they say that a cynic is a disillusioned romantic. Of course, failures in life can throw anyone from heaven to earth, but they do not cause such deep heart wounds as disappointments in love. Judge for yourself: let’s say a guy dreamed of becoming a doctor, healing and getting him back on his feet. And after receiving a diploma and getting a job, it turned out that doctors’ salaries do not exceed the smallest pension. For which, not only you can’t put others on their feet, you can’t hold out your own. Can this make a person cynical? Well, reality will disappoint, but it is far from misanthropy. Because everyone goes through this. And it’s a completely different matter if a young lady inflicts a cruel insult. He loved, trembled and burned, was sure that no one would ever love her like that, he was ready to lay down his own life at her feet. And this FIFA chose stupid Vitka in a foreign car over his lover. This is how the first commandment of the cynic is born: “all women are corrupt.” The trailer is followed by words about “there is no love”, “money rules the world.” The most interesting thing is that thousands of other guys experienced a similar story, but they found the strength to come to terms with it and understand: they were unlucky with this one - they would meet another, curlier, rosy and more cheerful. And the offended knight is nursing his grief, how they encroached on the sacred, rejected his love. How can you disagree with the writer James Cozzens: “A cynic is a person who, at the age of ten, discovered that there is no Santa Claus, and cannot come to terms with it.” It would seem, don’t draw general conclusions, don’t become hard-hearted, live and be happy. But no, “they don’t want to.” More precisely, they cannot. Because he believed too much, soared so high and hit so hard!
“A cynic is a person who knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.” Oscar Wilde.
“There is no love, I don’t believe in it, there are instincts, hormonal riots - anything but love,” this is the Song of Songs of any cynic. In fact, after repeated severe disappointments, he still in the depths of his soul (somewhere very deep) hopes that one day the established system will fail. And he will love. And he will be reciprocated. And everything will be like with people. Otherwise I’m tired of being a warrior alone in the field.
“Specially gifted” believe that a cynic is capable of falling in love only with a young, pure girl who will look at him as a deity and listen to every word. But no. A true (we emphasize) cynic is smart and proud. And for his pride it is unbearable to have a young lady of mediocre intelligence next to him. Walking with her “in public” - yes, sharing a bed - yes, but it’s better not to talk about love. Only a mature, wise, patient and moderately cynical woman can break the ice of his disbelief. But there is a catch here - will this woman throw all her strength into conquering a dubious peak? You can butt heads at first, but then you get tired, you just want to live. And in the sunset you can see the beginning of a mysterious night, and not just the rotation of the earth around its axis.
“The cynic is right nine times out of ten, but he is convinced that he is right in all ten cases. That's what makes him unbearable." Charles Issawi.
A relationship with him will not be easy, he will not bombard you with midnight SMS in the midst of an affair, he will preserve your sleep, productivity and personal plans, which you are not always included in. But if you accept it in your heart, this is a great victory. However, even in this case, he will not become a fluffy bunny overnight. If you don’t look so great in a new dress, he’ll say so, maximum indulgence - he’ll choose softer words. He will not buy into women’s tears, will not believe confused excuses, and will openly tell his mother-in-law that he is not delighted with her arrival. But for the most part, cynics are successful people, since they built a career without unnecessary illusions, often sacrificing principles, using all means. He will plan everything possible, foresee all the obstacles and find ways to eliminate them. And certainly a cynic is preferable to a rabid romantic who is ready to “give that star over there” and nothing else. In general, you will get a union where you will definitely be well fed. But will it be warm?
“There is nothing more deplorable than a young cynic, because from a person who knows nothing he has turned into one who believes in nothing.” Maya Angelou.
No matter how they say, the time is cynical now, there is nothing sacred left, and there are cynics a dime a dozen, there are very few real “Pechorins”. As a rule, demonstrative contempt and disregard for everything and everyone is just a pose, a mask to hide vulnerability and self-doubt. Such a specimen is a fine fellow among the sheep, and against a fine fellow himself... How many of them, squirming with disgust at the sight of those “who are shorter,” ready to say impartiality to those of equal status and, preferably, shorter. But for some reason, those who are silent in society are strong, successful, capable of “correcting a portrait” if necessary. In a word, one should not confuse a sober, cold mind and undisguised rudeness coupled with anger, mixed with bad upbringing.
...When you are thinking about how to respond to a proposal to quickly get closer, immediately discard thoughts about the eternal women's games: he will see through any trick. Act solely based on your own interests and do not hesitate to voice them. If a person uses such tactics, he must be prepared for retaliatory moves against him.
Examples from life
A striking example of modern cynicism is indifference and indifference to the problems of other people .
So, a healthy and strong man walks past a woman with heavy bags and does not offer help, and a young guy does not give up his seat on the bus to an elderly man with a cane.
These people do not consider themselves obligated to help a weaker person, having every opportunity to do so. They are convinced that everyone solves their own problems. No one owes anything to anyone - a popular motto of modern cynics.
Another direction of cynicism is pronounced maximalism , which contrasts true values with platitudes, often imposed by stereotypes. For example, denial of Valentine's Day, ridicule of lovers kissing on the street, contempt for any romantic public acts.
A contemptuous attitude towards such trends in the sphere of love relationships can be considered as the cynicism of a dry, emotionless person.
At the same time, his behavior may indicate the presence of his own understanding of relationships, which runs counter to generally accepted ideas.
A cynic does not believe in the selflessness of people's actions. For example, a friend’s sincere desire to help understand a difficult life situation will be viewed with suspicion by a cynic.
He will be confident that behind his friend’s goodwill there is not a simple desire to help, but a search for benefit.
Cynicism as a way of life: why is it beneficial?
Cynicism forms a pattern of behavior for a reason. If a person chooses to become a cynic, it means he sees certain advantages . And they really are:
- The cynic does not fall for the hook of manipulators who achieve their goals by exploiting other people's feelings of guilt;
- It's easy for a cynic to say no;
- A cynic does not waste himself communicating with people who are not pleasant to him;
- A cynic has a high resistance to stress and is able to soberly assess the situation.
However, with all these bonuses, the cynic continues to walk a fine line, since the line between healthy and unhealthy cynicism is very thin . Excessive callousness repels not only manipulators from the cynic, but also people with whom they could find happiness.
Good or bad?
Each person decides for himself whether it is worth being a cynic himself and how he treats such people.
This behavior has its advantages and disadvantages.
The advantages of a cynical attitude towards life:
- realistic perception of reality;
- absence of “rose-colored glasses”, which are a source of illusions;
- no risk of being disappointed in people (due to low expectations).
Disadvantages of cynicism:
- problems with psychological and physical health;
- problems getting into relationships;
- communication problems;
- inability to cooperate with other people;
- emotional detachment from others;
- ignoring real experiences;
- pessimistic outlook on life.
There are more disadvantages to this behavior than advantages. And this is natural. Constantly opposing oneself to the majority cannot make a person happy.
We all live in a society, therefore successful socialization is possible only if behavior complies with the laws existing in society.
This was an excursion into the history of the issue. Today's cynics also deny the achievements of civilization
But not material, but spiritual. They believe that it is necessary to reject false shame, call things by their proper names, and say whatever they want. They despised one of the main commandments of life in society - “the white man’s burden,” as the writer Rudyard Kipling called it. According to which, if a person lives in a society, he obeys its laws and traditions. That is, he must observe etiquette, show tact, respect fellow citizens, show respect to the elderly, etc. But the law is not written to cynics. In their opinion, there is no shame, pity, sympathy, or interests of society. This is just a false mask covering the basis of nature - personal interest. Therefore, you should not engage in charity, waste time on courtship, give compliments, make beautiful impulses in your soul - all this is impractical. It costs nothing for a cynic to start a conversation about inheritance at the bedside of a seriously ill relative - but what?! It's an everyday matter...
“A cynic is a man who, smelling flowers, looks around for a coffin.” Henry Mencken.
History knows many cynics whom society found, as they would say now, funny. We are already familiar with Diogenes, next up is Sir Oscar Wilde. The writer is known for his sparkling aphorisms, brilliant paradoxes, and shaking of social pillars. He was deified and persecuted, died in poverty and loneliness.
The fictional cynics are also impressive – Lermontov’s Pechorin, Pushkin’s Onegin. And a little “from a different opera”, but still on topic - Doctor of Medicine Gregory House from the series of the same name. How do they take prisoners? They are smart, charming, ironic, see the true essence of things, and usually emerge victorious from any life situations. Sometimes their morality (or rather, lack thereof) may seem original and tempting. For example, is it worth respecting all old people without exception? After all, some of the achievements are just a fact of many years, behind them is an unremarkable, or even completely unlucky life. Do you admire the song about “at sunset, where the sails burn”? The cynic will only grin, saying that long walks towards fate make your feet ache and cause blisters. Should we value the opinion of the public? A cynic will doubt his value and suggest, regardless of everything, to do as he pleases. It is this unbearable person who will save you from the dangerous illusions that you are in debt to someone, obligated to something. From his words you can feel the incredible lightness of life, the main motto of which is “love yourself, don’t care about everyone else, and success awaits you in life.” And now the main catch: you can listen to his speeches and insinuations at a safe distance, but living in close proximity - hell no, replace it with execution. Because he will not hesitate to spit on you, will not spare your feelings, will say impartiality without choosing words. So to have such a gentleman as a friend, much less as a lover, is a dubious pleasure. No matter how much you believe that man is the crown of Nature, created in the image and likeness of God, the cynic will clip his wings with the terrible truth that Homo sapiens is just a machine for the production of organic fertilizers.
“It’s usually the man who is to blame for a woman’s cynicism.” Jozef Maciejewski.
Just as women are to blame for male cynicism. It is not without reason that they say that a cynic is a disillusioned romantic. Of course, failures in life can throw anyone from heaven to earth, but they do not cause such deep heart wounds as disappointments in love. Judge for yourself: let’s say a guy dreamed of becoming a doctor, healing and getting him back on his feet. And after receiving a diploma and getting a job, it turned out that doctors’ salaries do not exceed the smallest pension. For which, not only you can’t put others on their feet, you can’t hold out your own. Can this make a person cynical? Well, reality will disappoint, but it is far from misanthropy. Because everyone goes through this. And it’s a completely different matter if a young lady inflicts a cruel insult. He loved, trembled and burned, was sure that no one would ever love her like that, he was ready to lay down his own life at her feet. And this FIFA chose stupid Vitka in a foreign car over his lover. This is how the first commandment of the cynic is born: “all women are corrupt.” The trailer is followed by words about “there is no love”, “money rules the world.” The most interesting thing is that thousands of other guys experienced a similar story, but they found the strength to come to terms with it and understand: they were unlucky with this one - they would meet another, curlier, rosy and more cheerful. And the offended knight is nursing his grief, how they encroached on the sacred, rejected his love. How can you disagree with the writer James Cozzens: “A cynic is a person who, at the age of ten, discovered that there is no Santa Claus, and cannot come to terms with it.” It would seem, don’t draw general conclusions, don’t become hard-hearted, live and be happy. But no, “they don’t want to.” More precisely, they cannot. Because he believed too much, soared so high and hit so hard!
“A cynic is a person who knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.” Oscar Wilde.
“There is no love, I don’t believe in it, there are instincts, hormonal riots - anything but love,” this is the Song of Songs of any cynic. In fact, after repeated severe disappointments, he still in the depths of his soul (somewhere very deep) hopes that one day the established system will fail. And he will love. And he will be reciprocated. And everything will be like with people. Otherwise I’m tired of being a warrior alone in the field.
“Specially gifted” believe that a cynic is capable of falling in love only with a young, pure girl who will look at him as a deity and listen to every word. But no. A true (we emphasize) cynic is smart and proud. And for his pride it is unbearable to have a young lady of mediocre intelligence next to him. Walking with her “in public” - yes, sharing a bed - yes, but it’s better not to talk about love. Only a mature, wise, patient and moderately cynical woman can break the ice of his disbelief. But there is a catch here - will this woman throw all her strength into conquering a dubious peak? You can butt heads at first, but then you get tired, you just want to live. And in the sunset you can see the beginning of a mysterious night, and not just the rotation of the earth around its axis.
“The cynic is right nine times out of ten, but he is convinced that he is right in all ten cases. That's what makes him unbearable." Charles Issawi.
A relationship with him will not be easy, he will not bombard you with midnight SMS in the midst of an affair, he will preserve your sleep, productivity and personal plans, which you are not always included in. But if you accept it in your heart, this is a great victory. However, even in this case, he will not become a fluffy bunny overnight. If you don’t look so great in a new dress, he’ll say so, maximum indulgence - he’ll choose softer words. He will not buy into women’s tears, will not believe confused excuses, and will openly tell his mother-in-law that he is not delighted with her arrival. But for the most part, cynics are successful people, since they built a career without unnecessary illusions, often sacrificing principles, using all means. He will plan everything possible, foresee all the obstacles and find ways to eliminate them. And certainly a cynic is preferable to a rabid romantic who is ready to “give that star over there” and nothing else. In general, you will get a union where you will definitely be well fed. But will it be warm?
How to communicate with a cynic?
The cynic is constantly engaged in devaluing what matters to the people around him.
And they do it in a rude manner. Rude, insensitive remarks can greatly hurt people interacting with such a person.
As a result, the interlocutors develop a feeling of emptiness and depression . Values and ideals that cannot be doubted begin to seem pitiful and meaningless.
Communication with cynics is contraindicated for romantic, soft, insecure individuals. Such people will become victims of a cynic who can easily break their value system and force them to reconsider their existing views.
The best way to find a common language is two cynics who understand each other perfectly. A self-confident person with a strong position in life and a sense of humor can also cope with a difficult partner.
Such a person can simply ignore and not take them seriously. He remains true to his ideals and does not give up his positions.
Definition of healthy cynicism
Healthy cynicism is the ability to show the necessary amount of selfishness to protect one’s interests. This life position is especially popular nowadays.
Without healthy cynicism, a person will become an easy target for strangers, who often do not act in his interests.
ignoring beggars begging for alms, based on confidence in their hypocrisy, can be called healthy cynicism
The same person who did not give alms can help the grandmother carry her bag to the entrance or pick up a kitten on the street.
It is important to recognize the difference between healthy cynicism and indifference, selfishness and indifference.