According to statistics, most often men hear refusals from girls in whom they show interest. You don’t even have to soften the corners and say with confidence that usually guys get rejected left and right because they take the first steps, often being unceremonious and tactless.
The opposite situations, of course, also happen. This happens quite regularly, and more than one book, film and piece of music is devoted to this. Now an article in our magazine will be devoted to this circumstance, where we will consider it in the format of a useful guide.
- M+F What a guy should do after a painful breakup: 8 steps to peace of mind Block your ex. Yes, right now. We will wait.
In other words, now we will tell you how to refuse a girl a relationship without offending her or saying anything stupid. It is best to show diplomacy in this matter and not make harsh statements that may hurt the feelings of another person.
Rudeness and barbs are not our option.
Argue and conflict5
For each of her arguments on any issue, have your own point of view. Well, naturally, it’s radically opposite. And it doesn’t matter that in fact you don’t think so and deep down you completely agree with what was said. It is possible that at first the girl will even be amused by this situation. But rest assured, over time, her passion to prove something to you will be replaced by aggression and irritability. Anger will crowd out all tender feelings for the heartless boor from her heart.
Outline prospects10
Girls simply love to make plans for the future. Especially if you mean your future together. It's simple - disappoint her. At the time of your next conversation with an unwanted passion, sigh dramatically and say the following with a serious face:
- You know, you are certainly very good, but I have firmly decided to avoid serious relationships in the next 10 years. Therefore, if you still hope for something, then in vain.
- Well, naturally, I am not against the sacred bonds of marriage. Moreover, soon I intend to marry 3-4 beauties. But what, temperament and religion allow me. By the way, how are you? Agree?
No “sudden movements”3
Some girls have such a fine mental organization that the first method described above absolutely does not work with them. They need to be prepared in advance for important information that will bring them emotional wounds. So start actively ignoring her. During the next conversation, demonstrate your indifference in every possible way. And to be more convincing, yawn more often and look around. Show her with all your appearance that you are bored in her company. And, of course, no initiative in her direction! Girls, for the most part, are not as stupid as they might seem at first glance. This means that there is hope that your behavior will be interpreted correctly.
Bonus: 5 tips on how to refuse a girl in any situation
You can gently turn a girl off not only in matters of relationships and sex. You have every right to refuse to buy a girl a fur coat or not to bring the fifth mug of coffee. But it is worth understanding the following. A woman’s deepest instincts force her to ask to make coffee, fix her car, or buy tampons. You are an active male who must carry food and demonstrate your abilities in every other way. She is a waiting and accepting female, testing your strength.
That is why she turns to you with requests of various sanity (“You are out of gaskets - do something!”). And just try to say no. At best, you will have to listen to the story that you don’t love her. The option of leaving for another, more enterprising male is not excluded. And why say “no” when you can tell a girl off competently in any situation.
Don't take hints
Often young ladies present their requests in the form of thick hints. “Oh, what a lovely Birkin handbag!” Agree that the handbag is really lovely (the fur coat is luxurious, and the Maldives is a great resort). Nobody asks to buy, right? Why not agree?
Press for pity
Never forget that girls are compassionate and compassionate creatures. Just say that you are ready to fulfill her request, but you really, really don’t want to do it. “Honey, of course, we will go to your mother. Well, this bathhouse. Although, of course, that’s what I wanted... I even dreamed today that I was steaming, relaxing, getting rid of the burden that had accumulated over the week... No, come on, these are not tears.”
To say and not to do
Sometimes you can turn on the “sclerosis” option - promise and not deliver. “Of course, I’ll fix it,” “Of course, I’ll buy it.” After all, we all get forgetful and distracted sometimes. The main thing is not to abuse it.
Suggest an alternative
A sentence starting with “Perhaps it would be better to...” (“How would you like to...”) can replace the word “no” in almost any situation. “I'm out of apples. Go and buy it." “Darling, maybe I’ll make you some coffee and download the new episode of your favorite TV series”? Think about the content of the counteroffer so that the alternative does not turn out to be hemorrhoids. Suddenly he agrees.
Find an argument against
You, of course, would buy her a mink coat, but natural fur has a bad effect on the immune system and causes dermatitis. And, just imagine, formaldehyde and formaldehyde are used in production - carcinogens! No, you do not intend to ruin her health with your own hands. In any situation you can find a compelling argument against it.
To blow off a girl who makes advances and leave behind a pleasant impression is something out of fantasy. But at least try. Purer karma means easier life.
Don't give up hope, show character
The ability to refuse correctly is a real art. It is often psychologically easier for a person to agree than to say the word “no”.
In such situations, by not saying a decisive “no”, you risk prolonging unnecessary contacts. The hackneyed phrases do not “work”: “I don’t want to ruin our friendly relations”, “I don’t deserve you”, “I have no time for relationships”.
Refusal cannot sound rude or boorish, but must be decisive, without possible options. You cannot mumble, leave loopholes, or promise anything in the future, otherwise attempts to achieve you will continue again and again.
Be honest
Trivial advice that, oddly enough, works flawlessly! Ridiculous excuses are greatly inferior to frank arguments. Therefore, take courage and honestly admit to the girl (and at the same time to yourself) why you cannot be together. Try to formulate the main idea as clearly as possible, take a deep breath and simply voice it out loud. Most often, the main reason is a complete lack of interest. Didn’t hook you, didn’t inspire, didn’t turn you on... So tell her straight about it. Yes, by the way, be careful: the method is quite traumatic and dangerous, but very effective.
POSTPONE FOR LATER
“Yes, dear, we will definitely fly to Paris, but only a little later, when we can visit all the most expensive restaurants with you and stay in a beautiful hotel overlooking the Eiffel Tower.” You didn’t refuse her request to take her to France, did you? Whether this “someday” will come or not is a completely different question.
Women are very cunning creatures. They remember absolutely everything you do, and most importantly, NOT do.
Treat others the way you want them to treat you
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This golden rule of morality makes it clear that being polite will make saying “no” less harsh. Opening up to a potential partner takes courage and courage. Therefore, maintaining a calm and gentle tone when declining an invitation is a sign of respect.
Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony, suggests showing them the same respect you would if things were different. Always be aware of your tone, remain calm and gentle, and make sure you still speak with confidence.
If there is no reason to be offended, then expressing gratitude and keeping the situation secret among mutual friends will be a beautiful ending to the conversation. We do not take into account cases of deliberate aggression and resentment - that’s another story. In any case, politeness is your armor.
Lose your memory8
During the conversation, call her by other people's names every now and then. And try to do this with a calm expression on your face. As if nothing bad had happened. And in general, with all your appearance, show your complete indifference and disinterest in the continuation of the evening, and indeed any relationship. Constantly ask her again for details that she mentioned a few seconds ago.
How not to refuse a girl: prohibited and ineffective techniques
Now let's talk about how to refuse to date a girl and remain in history as an asshole, a scoundrel or a man without balls. There are many such ways. Let's take, for example, this technique - telling a girl off by correspondence. Firstly, he will read between the lines and understand what you wrote is not what you wrote, my friend Onegin. Secondly, there will be an aftertaste - “what a woman.” And the material proof of this is a snotty letter. Convenient, of course, but are you a man, anyway?
Feed illusions
Stop flirting. Leave all these long glances, ambiguous conversations and random touches for your beloved, and not for a girl who is unrequitedly in love. Direct maximum efforts towards creating a stable sense of confidence - there can be no relationship. She will diligently nurture the frailest sprout of hope. To turn a girl off, phrases with the right words can be found even with the meager IQ.
I'm problematic
Sometimes guys try to throw a girl off by intimidating her. “I’m not worthy of you - I’m a bastard and a beast”, “You can’t even imagine what a terrible person I am”, “I have a lot of problems now - a mortgage, alimony.” Believe me, there are no shortcomings that a woman in love cannot accept. There are no difficulties that a woman in love would not be ready to endure. Evaluate girls in love adequately - they are ready for anything. Through fire and water.
Let's be friends
“Let’s remain friends” is also not an option. Don’t even doubt that he will become your best friend. Will surround you with care and tenderness. He will lend a helping hand in difficult and other times. Will regularly offer friendly sex, friendly shopping and an equally friendly weekend with the parents. In general, your offer to be friends will be accepted and used against you.
Through the bed
It’s nice, of course, when sex is just a stone’s throw away. And it’s a shame to miss this opportunity. But we have to. Resist this insidious thought - just once. It is forbidden. You can't sleep with people you're going to blow off. This is sex without commitment. She will be filled with obligations for ten years to come. Even in our emancipated times, sex for a woman is more than for health. And there are rarely exceptions.
