How not to become a friend to a girl who doesn't want a relationship?

How to stop chasing someone who doesn't love you?
Why does a girl want to be friends, refusing a relationship?
The first thing is to continue to be friends
Second - start caring
Third - ignore
Bottom line

How often do girls refuse you a relationship, but agree to be friends and constantly communicate? In female psychology it sounds like this: if you don’t like a man, but he is good and useful, then make him your friend. But is this what you wanted? That’s why the site for men masculino.ru will consider the question of how not to become a friend to a girl who doesn’t want a relationship when you offer her something more.

How to stop chasing someone who doesn't love you?

You can increasingly hear stories about unhappy love, when one partner loves the other, but not mutually. In such situations, either the partners are in a relationship, but there is no trust, affection and love in it, or the one who loves tries in various ways to start a love union with someone who does not have the same desires towards him. Only over time does one realize that it is impossible to force oneself to become loved, and also that it is better to try to forget a girl who does not want to be around. Therefore, the question arises here: how to let go, how to stop running after someone who doesn’t love you.

First, you should understand one pattern: life can bring people together not only for the sake of starting a love relationship, but also simply for the sake of some valuable experience. Therefore, if you love, but they don’t love you, it means that life brought you together with a person not for the sake of a serious relationship, but for the sake of some experience, knowledge, and the development of new skills or qualities. Your meeting is short-lived, so one of the partners does not experience deep feelings. You are not destined to be together, otherwise not only you, but also you would be loved.

Secondly, you need to understand that your feelings, most likely, are not love, but something else. Why do you want this particular girl who doesn’t love you to start feeling something for you? This is a kind of desire to attract a specific person to you because he gave you something. But this is not love either on your part or on his part. It was simply the comfort you felt around this person.

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

You are flattered by the attention of a beautiful girl.
You are used to it, you do not want to start a new life without a partner.
Because you still want to know that you are loved. And when you get what you want, you will immediately cool down in your feelings.
Because of revenge: you were hurt because of the refusal to build a relationship with you, so you want to show how wrong the girl was in her decision.
Because of self-deception that you love and need this person. Imagine the distant future, how you make love to your partner every night, wake up next to her every morning, take care of her when she is sick, take her opinion into account when solving any issues, etc. Do you like this future? Often people think that they are in love, but as soon as they imagine family life with their beloved partners, they immediately understand what their real feelings are.

If your loved one will forever remain as he is now, are you ready to continue running after him, suffering from his dislike and hoping for impossible changes? Take a sober look at a completely earthly person. There is nothing about him that you would never find in other people. Moreover, there are candidates who are much better than your current partner and who know how to love. Why not look for a girl who will reach out to you rather than run away?

To stop running after someone who doesn't love you, you just need to understand why you can't let go of this person. There are many people in the world with whom you can build a love union, but for some reason you cannot let go of one specific person. Why? Understand why he is so interesting to you, and try to cultivate in yourself that quality or habit that will give you the same feeling that you experienced in the presence of your loved one. Provide yourself with those feelings, material benefits and pleasures that were given to you by someone who does not love you, and then you can easily let him go, you yourself will find a partner who will love you mutually.

Types of friendship

What kind of friendship is there? Depending on who is friends, we can say that there is:

Female friendship.

There are many examples when two girls begin to be friends from childhood or school age and carry their friendship through the years. Of course, the female psyche has a number of nuances.

There are chatty, envious women who do not understand what true friendship is. But, in fact, only one or two real friends are enough.

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Male friendship.

It is considered stronger than women's, but, as we have discussed, this issue is controversial. Men are naturally taciturn, so they often seem more serious than women.

But in their circle, they can allow themselves to relax and not try to give the impression of a strong defender.

Children's friendship.

In fact, this is the very beginning of such feelings, the emergence of sympathy for each other. Children are just beginning to learn about the world, themselves, and those around them.

Through friendship they learn to build relationships, communicate correctly, in other words, to socialize.

Friendship between a guy and a girl.

The most unknown type of friendship. Debates about the existence of such friendship have been going on for centuries, and there is still no clear answer to the question of whether it is possible at all, without an intimate hint.

It may well occur in adolescents, for example, at 12-13 years old or a little older. After all, at this age there are many opportunities for communication - school, hobbies, even sports.

Why does a girl want to be friends, refusing a relationship?

Women's psychology is so “curly” that it is easy to get lost in its vastness. Let's look at the most common type of relationship, when you like a girl, but refuses a love union, agreeing only to friendship. Why does she need this?

You are useful to her in some way. Either you provide her financially, or give her the attention she needs, or it’s interesting to communicate with you. There are many options.
She likes you. Why doesn't she want to date you? She is either busy with another guy, or in love with someone, or expects some “special” act from you.
She is interested in you as a friend. In other words, she really needs you as a friend.

There is another option why a girl does not want to part with you, but can only offer friendship - she is flattered by your attention. There is a category of girls who crave everyone's attention. They take care of themselves and are quite attractive. Many men can pay attention to them. So, they like male attention, but they do not allow men to approach them, so to speak, in order to feel their own value.

These are the so-called “queens” who know that everyone likes them, but at the same time they do not let them approach them so as not to lose value in the eyes of men. And here the technology of these young ladies is very simple: in order for them to become interested in you, you need to stop paying attention to them.

This can be seen in everything. Abundance allows you not to worry about details that may disappear or disappear from life. The richer a person is, the less he cares about the pennies that are spent. The larger the company, the more impersonal the employees who work in it become. The more things you have, the less you worry about them breaking or missing.

If we consider the value of a guy in relation to the girl he likes, this manifests itself in the following: if there are a large number of fans, the girl ceases to value each individually. Now all the guys are becoming the same for her. She does not love them, does not recognize the motives of their actions and desires. She doesn't try to get to know them. The girl just gets used to the fact that all the guys are courting her without appreciating it.

The less attention you pay to a girl, the more acutely she notices it. The fewer fans a girl has, the more valuable everyone who looks after her becomes. The more fans a girl has, the more she values those who do not court her. As they say, while a person has, he does not value, but when he loses, he cries. But here a slightly different principle applies: the less a person has, the more he appreciates the little things that appear to him.

So, let's move on to the strategy of what you need to do to avoid becoming the friend of a girl who refuses a relationship.

How should a man behave with his girlfriends?

Building a relationship with a girl, especially in the initial stages, is not always a simple and elementary task. And if the establishment of communication in a couple is based on mutual sympathy, infatuation or even love, then what to do with the girl’s environment – her many girlfriends – is not always clear and unambiguous for the guy. And it is imperative to build adequate interaction. Girlfriends also “make the difference” in the relationship of a couple in love, and how!

It all starts with the first meeting. This is where you need to make a positive impression. You shouldn’t be too puffed up and “go out of your way” - it will be very noticeable. You need to try to be a little better than the guy actually is - to the extent that it looks quite natural. It is clear that the man is trying to leave a positive mark on the souls of his girlfriends (and this proves that their opinion is not indifferent to him), but at the same time the guy preserves his “I”. You should not deceive or pretend , the young man must demonstrate charm and ease of communication. Jokes, funny stories from life, favorite anecdotes (without vulgarity) can be used, but no liberties should be taken towards the girlfriends.

Building bridges—ensuring the proper level of relationships with a girl’s friends—is a very responsible task. The guy may not like her surroundings, cause a feeling of irritation, hostility - you need to remember that you should not dictate your preferences here under any circumstances. With whom to communicate is the choice of the girl herself, moreover, she can really listen to the opinions of such friends. If relationships are important to a guy, you need to keep your own emotions to yourself and try to communicate calmly with everyone.

Constructive communication will be facilitated by a simple technique: in each girlfriend, they look for a feature or trait that is clearly perceived as positive - that’s where all the attention is paid. This will change the perception of any person from a “–” sign to a “+” sign.

A guy should not at all impose himself and crowd into the company every time a girl plans to meet with her friends. Girls always have something to discuss and talk about in an all-female group. Moreover, a young man can easily use this time to spend time on himself and communicating with his surroundings.

Separately, you should dwell on your best friend. She can be as significant for a girl as her beloved. Therefore, the position “either I or she” should not be allowed by a guy even in his thoughts. It is more constructive to try to be useful to your best friend - to help with the computer somewhere, or with your physical strength when shopping, moving. This will show in practice that the young man values and respects the friendship of his chosen one.

It is the best friend who can guide a guy on a good gift for his girlfriend, suggest the characteristics and priorities of the chosen one, and thereby help deepen the couple’s relationship. Of course, provided that a good friendly interaction between the guy and the girl’s friend is established.

Among your friends there may be gossipers, envious people, and jealous people. You have to keep your eyes open with them. The main position is not to create any special irritating reasons, because not to give a girl friend an excuse to gossip, envy or be jealous of her boyfriend at all - this does not happen for such people at all. There is always a clue. A possible way out is restraint in everything : you need to do without special emphasis on factors that provoke girlfriends - laudatory odes to your relationship, achievements in a profession or hobby, expensive purchases, gifts, surprises and the like. This does not mean that there will be no gossip, envy and jealousy at all - this will reduce their level and the harmful impact on the relationship.

In the event that a girl’s friends are one more beautiful than the other, the guy should be wary of provocative behavior. It should be expected for two reasons. A well-wisher friend can - from the motive of “wanting what is best” - simply test a young man for loyalty in order to reveal the truth: unfaithful and deceitful or loyal and persistent. Or another option - the guy will become a victim of open, but secret flirting for his girlfriend. The purpose of flirting can be different: to prove that “I am better”; quarrel between a couple in love and regain the attention of a friend; beat off the guy you like; sporting interest (flirting for the sake of flirting).

A girl should treat her friends simply as her girlfriend’s friends. Goodwill and revelation on their part may be imaginary. A young man must always remember that a relationship with him was not built for many years and through various circumstances. For girlfriends, the guy is just another acquaintance of their friend, so revelations and revelations of secrets are inappropriate here. It is not advisable to dwell on the surprises with which a guy wants to surprise his beloved.

There can be quite a lot of nuances of communicating with a girl’s friends. The main thing for a guy is to focus on his own communication style, skillfully avoid its negative manifestations and use his strengths.

The first thing is to continue to be friends

Many guys continue to communicate with girls that they like and do not want to be in a relationship. How many guys managed to become their soul mates over time? The statistics are reduced to zero. Thus, if you don’t want to be friends with a girl you want a relationship with, then don’t be friends with her.

Your intentions are clear: you agree to friendship in the hope that you can tie the girl to you, get to know her better and still fall in love with you. But this option doesn't work. Why?

If a girl doesn't like you, then she won't fall in love with you, no matter how much time you spend together.
If a girl likes you, then she will fall in love with you even without friendship.

In other words, if you start being friends with a girl, you will remain her friend. She will take advantage of your time and attention, which will not pay off in any way. Therefore, if you don’t want to be friends, then don’t start.

What is friendship

First, let's try to determine what this phenomenon means. Friendship is a close relationship between two people, which are distinguished by selflessness, mutual assistance, and support in difficult times.

Such interaction is based on common interests and hobbies. It presupposes respect and sympathy for each other, the desire to maintain communication.

At all times, friendship between two people has been an ideal to strive for. Philosophers and sages wrote long treatises on the topic of friendly relations, trying to understand the essence of the phenomenon.

Nowadays, psychologists study all the nuances of personal interaction between people. By studying mental processes, they develop practical advice for use in life.

Why is friendship so important? First of all, because it gives you a feeling of support and help. A person does not feel loneliness, it is easier for him to go through life and make important decisions. A friend who is there in joy and in trouble is an important acquisition.

At the same time, sometimes it seems that friendship arises on its own and also continues. However, maintaining friendships often requires great effort.

Real friendship

So, we have decided that friendship is indeed a very important and necessary phenomenon in a person’s life. Now let's look at what we can call true friendship.

Every day a person interacts with many other people - pleasant and not so pleasant. At first, the interlocutors turn out to be forced or random, for example, classmates.

If common interests are discovered, then people strive to continue communication. But true friendship is still far away. It’s not for nothing that there is an expression: “Friendship is tested by time.”

If, after a while, acquaintances become attached to each other, they are still interested in being together, they are ready to help, then with a high degree of probability they can be called friends. These friendships are likely to last a very long time, sometimes a lifetime.

Second - start caring

This option is possible. However, you need to be careful here. Why doesn't a girl want to date you? Let's go back to the example, when a girl is very beautiful, everyone likes her, many men court her, but she doesn't date anyone. Thus, if other men are courting her, and she refuses them, it means that she will refuse your advances.

Of course, the girl will be pleased that you are running after her. But if you have not previously courted her, for which you deserve to become her friend, then you are already doing more than other contenders for her hand and heart. Look at the other men she dated: how did they behave with her? Perhaps you need to behave in exactly the same way.

Methods

A great option is to secretly give bouquets to your beloved.
You need to understand that every girl is unique in some way and has her own characteristics. If you want to win a woman’s heart, you must find out everything about her: what she prefers, what she loves, how she spends her time (free from work), what her dreams are, what kind of gentleman she wants to see next to her. When you have a sufficient amount of information at your disposal, it will not be difficult to choose the right key to your chosen one, to demonstrate that she can trust you, that you are the one she dreamed of. A man who is able to provide invaluable assistance to his chosen one will definitely win her. According to statistics, the strongest relationships arise among people who work together or are friends. This may happen because they have similar interests or there is an opportunity to learn more about each other, an opportunity to get closer. But the biggest reason is that people who spend a lot of time together are sure to help in a given situation. That is, it is mutual assistance that generates more trust and the development of romantic feelings. Performing a romantic act

A modern girl will be delighted with this behavior of a guy and will pay attention to him.

you can send mysterious bouquets, inserting notes with romantic content into them, at first you can remain a secret stranger, and with each subsequent bouquet, open the veil of secrecy more and more;
you can make romantic gifts, these are plush toys, themed souvenirs, or, for example, a figurine from the collection that she collects (you can find out about this in advance by studying the girl’s hobbies);
Singing under the window of your chosen one will still be relevant, of course, when choosing this method, it is advisable to have an ear for music and vocal abilities;
a guy who has the soul of a poet can write a poem about love and dedicate it to his chosen one;
If you have artistic talent, draw a portrait of a girl, you can also simply create a picture on any topic, the main thing is to dedicate it to a specific young lady.

Third - ignore

We can say that this is the best way to either get a girl or lose her forever. If a girl knows about your feelings and has refused your offer to date you, then there is only one option - to leave her. There is no need to run, beg, conquer. Dump the girl who wants to be your friend to see what she really needs you for.

Firstly, by leaving you show the girl your attitude towards her: “If you don’t want to be with me as a man, then we won’t communicate at all.” This is normal behavior when you don't want to be friends with a girl if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

Secondly, you let her decide whether to be with you or say goodbye. If a girl likes you, then your departure will excite her. She will want you back. And if a girl is indifferent to you, then she will let you go. In this case, if you were friends with her, you would not achieve anything good for yourself.

And lastly: by leaving a beauty who is accustomed to everyone’s attention, you demonstrate that you are not afraid of losing her. The absence of fear must be real. Don’t be afraid to lose a beauty who doesn’t want to be with you, so that you can be free for a woman who will still appreciate you!

Pros and cons of friendship with the opposite sex

Friendship between a guy and a girl, even at school age, has many positive aspects, but the consequences can also be ambiguous.

For the female side, the advantage of friendship with a young man is the following:

Pros:

she always has protection in the person of her friend, no one dares to offend her;
a guy who is friendly and will not refuse help - bring something, help with moving, etc.;
A girl’s self-esteem increases when she makes friends with the opposite sex, she feels recognized, feels needed;
the male sex is usually more reserved in conversations, so a guy can trust his secrets without fear that he will spill them;
There is always someone to go have fun with, take a walk, there is no fear of loneliness.

It’s also nice for a guy to have a girl friend, because he can always ask for advice on how to communicate with the opposite sex, how to attract the attention of a pretty girl, and just have the opportunity to hang out and have fun.

But do not forget that behavior in adolescence is very peculiar, so there are also disadvantages of being friends with a guy,

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In other languages:

English: Get a Girl to Like You when She Has a Boyfriend, Español: enamorar a una chica que tiene novio, Italiano: Conquistare una Ragazza già Impegnata, Português: Conquistar uma Garota Comprometida, Deutsch: Ein Mädchen erobern das schon einen Freund hat, Français: conquérir une fille qui a déjà un petit ami, 中文: 让有男朋友的女孩喜欢你, Čeština: Jak se zalíbit dívce, která má partnera, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Gadis untuk Menyukai And a Saat Dia Punya Pacar, Nederlands: Een meisje dat bezet is verleiden, Tiếng Việt: Khiến một cô gái thích bạn dù cô ấy đã có bạn trai, ไทย: จีบผู้หญิงท By the way ها مرتبطة, 日本語: 彼氏がいる女子に好きになってもらう

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Effective methods and advice from psychologists

To win a girl who loves another guy, a man needs to follow a few simple tips from psychologists. Namely:

become a good friend for her, providing the girl with positive and comfortable communication;
be yourself, since girls, due to their sensitivity, immediately sense falsehood and pretense;
find common interests, thanks to which communication will always be lively and regular;
give gifts and small presents that symbolize romance and prospects for future relationships;
engage in self-development in order to grow in her eyes, deserve respect and not focus only on her;
do good deeds, supporting words with actions;
maintain optimism and a sense of humor in order to be a source of good emotions for her.

The main rule of how to please people and a specific girl is to love yourself. If a man is too self-critical, has complexes and lacks self-confidence, any girl will immediately feel it.

Be unusual

Maybe I will surprise you, but women are not always attracted to guys who are no different from each other. To start a relationship with a hot girl, you have to be unusual. And right now you will ask me “how can I be unique, Leon?” Don't worry, you already have it in you. The options are varied: maybe you write memoirs of adult film stars, you do powerlifting, you like to read the classics, you lived in New Zealand, you worked on an organic farm.

In any case, this should be used. You shouldn’t talk about this all the time, but you need to be able to drop a word in time to interest your interlocutor. If you are still ordinary, it is time to change.