How to stop being jealous of your husband/wife and beating yourself up?

Jealousy is a difficult feeling that does not cause pain, but can completely cloud the mind. At first these are harmless manifestations that can be controlled. But over time, a person begins to experience anger, panic attacks, and aggression. In order not to lead a relationship to collapse, psychologists recommend that a man listen to valuable advice on how to stop being jealous of his wife.

But first, they deal with the reasons, and to consolidate the result, they understand the consequences of this overwhelming feeling.

How to stop being jealous of your husband/wife and beating yourself up - advice from a psychologist

When you free yourself from jealousy, you free yourself from the enormous power of love, because now, when you are jealous, you hide your love behind 7 locks. And today, I will help you free your love and make it sparkle with all its colors.

So what is jealousy? Is jealousy a sensation, a feeling or an emotion? Or maybe it's a way of thinking or belief?

When does a person get jealous?

When he is not sure that his loved one is faithful to him and that you are the best. By and large, jealousy is an admission that you don’t believe that your significant other loves you, or it seems to you that right now, at this minute, he (she) is already plotting and starting tricks on the side.

You can get a lot of advice on how to stop being jealous of your husband/wife, follow them, but the result will be a big fat zero!

Why? Because jealousy does not live outside, it lives in the head of the jealous person.

We can say that jealousy is an uninvited guest who snuck into your home a long, long time ago, and now, having declared itself, he feels like the owner. So how can we kick out and evict this uninvited guest?

We will use several methods that always give excellent results.

Advice from psychologists

The best assistant in the question of how to learn not to be jealous of your wife without reason is a psychologist. He not only helps to identify the nature of the problem, but will also find ways not to overwhelm himself in vain and get rid of obsessive states. In such cases, psychologists most often recommend the following:

Do what you love . As soon as you begin to notice disturbing thoughts about your wife’s possible betrayal, find any ways to switch. Spend time with friends or relatives, arrange a romantic date for your loved one.
Spends more time in society. By communicating and meeting new people, you can pay more attention to other people’s problems and give advice. In this case, you can unintentionally compare your situation with other concerns, realizing the groundlessness of far-fetched thoughts.
Analyze your past . Perhaps someone from your circle inadvertently planted thoughts about your spouse’s infidelity in your mind. Maybe in a previous relationship the woman gave in, and you inadvertently began to project that experience onto the current situation.
Give your wife more attention . Romance helps to ignite passion, good sex and harmony will push anxious thoughts out of your head. And if you are a good husband, there will be no reason for her to look at other guys.
Talk openly with your spouse . Tell her that you are afraid of losing her, that you feel jealousy, that you suffer from it. Maybe she did some pushing things unconsciously. But at the same time, emphasize that you trust her so as not to offend her. This will help her show more love and say some important words.

How to stop worrying yourself with jealous thoughts?

If you learn to stop your thoughts about cheating on you or showing attention to someone on the side, then half the work will already be done.

Are you sure that you yourself understand that the thoughts that arise in your head are not true and truthful?

Right? But regardless of this, you give in to these thoughts and think them. And perhaps, from time to time, streams of claims and accusations based on your fantasies pour out of you?

Why do these thoughts arise, where do they come from?

The format of the article does not allow us to delve into the jungle of the emergence of certain mental processes, therefore, I will say briefly - your beliefs about yourself and other people imply and admit that you can be betrayed.

Start digging in this direction, and most likely, you will come to some moments in your life when you came to the conclusion that the world is dangerous and people can betray.

Your task is to learn to track such thoughts and remove them from your head. Remember that you have the power to control your mental flow, and you can stop thinking about something through an effort of will.

The article “How to Stop Overthinking Yourself” will help you understand how obsessive thoughts arise and 10 recommendations on how to get rid of such thoughts.

Why is it better to stop being jealous?

Even if your suspicions are appropriate and there are facts not in favor of your loved one, still mental anguish and sleepless nights will not add health and happiness to you. And it is in your best interests to stop being jealous.

This feeling is destructive. It not only destroys the relationship between two people, but also constantly emotionally drains everyone involved in the jealousy game.

This is why it is so important to learn to stop in time and get rid of anxious and frightening thoughts about your rivals.

By the way, if in the story about Lucy and her family the spouses are swapped, you will get a clear example of male jealousy. Well, instead of a cousin, let there be a brother.

A person is jealous not when he loves, but when he wants to be loved.
Benjamin Johnson

Why are we jealous

To understand how to stop being jealous, you need to understand the reasons why this happens. Why do we sometimes experience anger and fear when we are jealous of someone?

Let me try to explain to you the mechanism of jealousy in pets?

The other day I watched a video with the incredible Jacques Fresco. In an interview, he told how he once turned to a psychologist with the question “What is jealousy?”

The experienced soul healer began to explain that even pets can be jealous. For example, a dog begins to growl when the owner picks up and strokes the cat.

Then Jacques Fresco conducted an experiment: he picked up a cat and at the same time fed the dog. You probably already guessed that after a while there was no trace left of the dog’s jealousy.

The dog began to wag its tail as soon as the man picked up the cat. This observation, of course, does not prove that animals only need food. But it shows that it is quite possible to establish relationships between pets if their primary needs are met.

How to stop being jealous of your husband/wife and beating yourself up - advice from a psychologist

So, what you need to do to stop beating yourself up about your other half’s infidelity:

Observation of thoughts - ask yourself the question “What am I thinking about right now?”

Write down your thoughts in a special notebook - during the day or in the evening.

Write in detail. For example, “He (she) was late at work, she (he) is having an affair, he (she) went to see his lover, that’s why he (she) is gone for so long.”

Ask yourself questions and answer them:

How real and truthful are my thoughts, how true are they to reality?
What factual evidence is there to support my thoughts?

For example,

My wife works at work.

My wife finishes work at 17:00 and comes home at 18:00.

It's 6:30 pm and she's been gone for 30 minutes.

A delay of 30 minutes is a fact that is present at the moment. Can I guarantee and think with one hundred percent certainty that she is cheating on me and that she has a lover?

No I can not.

What other options could there be why my wife was late?

She was late at work, this often happens.
She's still on the road and gets stuck in a traffic jam.
On the way, I went to the grocery store.
I met a friend and they started chatting.
On the way I stopped by to check on my mother.

Your task is to write as many real versions of the event as possible, because of which your thoughts turned towards suspicions of infidelity of your other half.

This exercise must be performed every time you feel like you are falling into the abyss of jealousy.

To cope with your thoughts, you need to find out for yourself how true your thoughts are and not a figment of your imagination? That is why you constantly need to ask yourself the question: “How real are my thoughts and what facts are they confirmed by?”

I want to say that in order for you to cope with your own thoughts you need training, and each time you will do better and better.

This work must be carried out constantly, while focusing your attention on other aspects of working on jealousy in order to stop being jealous of your husband/wife

What is jealousy and why does jealousy occur?

Jealousy is a feeling with a negative connotation that arises in the interpersonal relationships of a couple. Most often, it is accompanied by mistrust regarding the honesty and devotion of the other half. This can be either a justified or a completely far-fetched opinion, provoked by various reasons.

There can be several reasons for jealousy:

Fear – against the backdrop of strong feelings, emotional attachment to your soulmate, the fear of losing her may periodically arise.
Complexes are the most common causes of jealousy, which are more common in women. If a man has complexes about his appearance, self-sufficiency, or success, he may be afraid that his wife will leave him because of the best nominee for her heart.
Self-doubt - if a man doubts how strong the feelings of his beloved are, whether the affection between them is strong, this can cause attacks of such an unpleasant feeling.
Dependence on it - strong attachment can provoke obsessions and fears of abandonment.
Mistrust - most often, suspicions of infidelity are caused by a negative example from a past relationship.
Projecting their repressed desires onto a partner - often men carefully hide their sexual fantasies and desires. Without admitting it to themselves, they attribute it to their significant other.
The desire to control everything - worried about his place in the life of the woman he loves, the guy controls her every step.
Obsessive thinking is obsessive thoughts associated with a compulsive disorder. Without knowing the truth, a person begins to invent reality, create facts in his head. This is due to the banal fear of the unknown.
There were real reasons - perhaps correspondence on the side, flirting, ambiguous acquaintances or friends surfaced in the relationship.
The imposition of such thoughts by other people - some men are influenced by family and friends. And if loved ones repeatedly suspect a woman of cheating, sooner or later this thought will stick in his head.

Do you scream at your wife when you have attacks of jealousy?
Not really

How to stop being jealous and controlling your husband/wife?

The next step to getting rid of jealousy is to reduce your other half's control.

Your spouse is a free person and has the right not to account for his actions, just like you.

Therefore, if you constantly control every step, then you should overcome yourself and stop doing it. Yes, it’s difficult, because it seems to you that, knowing what your other half is “breathing” now, you are less jealous.

Actually this is not true. Checking SMS, phone, social media. network, you thereby feed your own demons. You're afraid that if you don't know what he or she is doing or who he's communicating with, you'll miss the very moment when it all starts.

This is again your speculation, because if a person wants to change, then he will change, regardless of any obstacles. And secondly, if a person stops loving you and hates you, then you won’t be able to do anything about it either.

And your actions to control the life of your other half do not speak at all about your love, but, on the contrary, about strong mistrust. I don't think your partner is happy because you are filled to the brim with jealousy and suspicion.

You may ask, how can I stop controlling, am I constantly drawn to check everything?

You won’t get any specific advice, just stop doing it and that’s it!

Of course, it will be difficult to cope with the desire to get into your phone, ask questions to which you want to hear the answer in order to dispel your doubts.

You need to overcome yourself, learn to cope with your thoughts, work through all your fears, which force you to constantly check your spouse.

How to work with fears, read in this article.
How to get rid of the fear of betrayal in 5 steps - detailed article

Some jealous people believe that if the other half does not give a reason for jealousy, and “behaves well,” then they will become calm and not jealous.

This is fiction. Your mind tries to justify its own behavior and shifts responsibility for itself to the other half.

Even if your loved one acts and lives the way you want, you will still think that he is deceiving in something, and even if he (she) doesn’t have anyone now, then in the past they did, and he (she) is waiting for an opportunity to change and go to the side.

It is worth remembering that a jealous person’s perception of current events is distorted. When perception is distorted, attention is concentrated on certain situations that are interpreted in a certain way due to the way of thinking and underlying beliefs.

For example, if a wife looked at a man passing by and simply glanced at him, thinking about something of her own, then the jealous man, noticing his wife’s gaze, will decide that she wants to sleep with him. And when the opportunity arises, he will throw a scandal based on just one glance and a sincere conviction that he is right.

If you yourself suffer from jealousy and understand that you can’t do anything about it, then seek help from specialists - psychologists and psychotherapists.

Jealousy itself will not go away, it will not go anywhere, and over time it will become even more acute. At the same time, you will consider yourself completely normal, but the people close to you are entirely traitors and cannot be trusted.

People who feel insecure in close relationships are susceptible to jealousy. On the surface, you can convey confidence in everything, but jealousy shows that inside you, on a subconscious level, not everything is in order, that you consider yourself worse than other people.

Reasons for jealousy

Before starting to work with this problem, a man must find out “where his legs grow from.” Jealousy can manifest itself due to a whole range of factors, and the wife may have nothing to do with it. Psychologists believe that it all could have started with self-doubt from an early age. Often parents and relationships with them in childhood establish a model of behavior in their family.

A boy who grew up with a mom and dad who surrounded him with care, affection and understanding will become an excellent person in the future; he is unlikely to exhibit jealous behavior. A family without a father or with tense relationships within it leads to further problems with the opposite sex.

Childhood is not the only reason for jealousy of the object of adoration. A man could be faced with a relationship that ended unsuccessfully for him, where the girl was “caught by the hand.” The young man was able to find his love, married her, but now reacts to her every action very sharply, even to standard correspondence about work matters.

Jealousy of one's wife is also due to the fear of loneliness. This problem characterizes a person with a lot of complexes, who believes that he can easily find a replacement. The man will control his beloved in every possible way, gradually destroying the marriage union.

Besides, you can be jealous without loving your wife! Often girls justify this behavior this way. However, the more a jealous man is in love with his lady, the more he worries and tries to protect his beloved from the outside world.

There are also a number of factors due to which a man may become jealous of his wife:

Late home after work;
Answering phone calls every once in a while;
Working in a team of men;
Communication with unmarried girls;
Flirting with other guys;
Bright makeup and clothes.

These reasons are often not supported by anything, and therefore do not have a compelling reason. All this makes life difficult for both the wife and the husband. A man will control his lady literally at every step, and will often “interrogate” her about how her day went.

How to learn to control yourself and not be jealous?

As soon as the thought creeps into your head that your other half is not faithful to you, then you should analyze this thought in detail and not get into a mental cycle. I wrote above how to do this.

If you are determined to get rid of jealousy, then you need to learn to cope with internal dialogue.

I wrote in more detail about working with internal dialogue in this article. Read and adopt several methods that are right for you. Remember that learning to control your thoughts takes time and effort.

I would like to add a few words about internal control. Unfortunately, control most often means suppression.

Suppressing jealousy will cause you to accumulate your discontent and suspicions, and as a result, it will come to the surface in the form of a huge scandal.

Or, another option is possible, when you accumulate everything within yourself, often without even noticing on a conscious level how your emotions are suppressed and go to the somatic level - diseases of the cardiovascular system or digestive tract arise.

The counterbalance to jealousy is trust in your partner. Perhaps, due to your personality, you will not be able to fully learn to trust a loved one, but it is within your power to at least learn to live without attacks of jealousy.

To achieve this, you need to understand your beliefs, values and outlook on life. This is long and painstaking work, but it will bring you a rich harvest - you will become much calmer and happier, you will be able to see that your loved one really loves you and cares about you.

Why a man is jealous for no reason: how not to create real reasons for jealousy

A little jealousy can even strengthen relationships, girls like it, confirming warm and passionate feelings.
However, constant suspicions, persecution and scandals will strain the partner and offend him. Such tendencies very quickly destroy any relationship. We recommend following some rules:

you don’t need to constantly interrogate your beloved, you can gently ask how her day was;
look after her, give flowers and gifts, arrange holidays and relaxation together;
don’t try to be with her all the time, let her have her own space and her own interests;
do not insult or humiliate her;
Monitor her mood, sympathize and help her.

By working on yourself and your relationships, you can forget about jealousy forever.

How to learn to trust your husband/wife and not be jealous?

All people are different, some do not trust their loved one from the very beginning of a relationship, some, on the contrary, are too trusting, and some stop trusting after their partner cheats.

Trust is the cement that holds relationships together in a married couple, and if there is no trust, then, in fact, there is no love. Think for yourself, if you love a person, then you accept him with all the cockroaches, but if you categorically don’t like something, then it’s difficult to talk about love.

There are various moments that we don’t like in relationships, someone throws socks around, someone doesn’t wipe the dust, but these are minor misunderstandings, and we put up with them, because in the rest, larger ones, we accept the person.

But when we don’t trust, then we don’t accept in a big way.

Trust is like a seed that needs to be planted, tended and nurtured.

Jealous people have a problem - they don’t believe anything and interpret everything to suit their jealous views, in other words, their fantasies and illusions.

The fact is that a jealous person thinks that the other half must earn trust through certain deeds, words and actions. And even if this happens, there will still be no trust. You can trust your partner only when you completely get rid of jealousy.

1 exercise “How to take the first steps to trust.”

You need to figure out on a conscious level what will help you trust your partner?

Get a special notebook for this work in which you will write down your thoughts.

Think and write down:

What actions, words and deeds of my other half will help me trust him (her)?
Write point by point, in detail, everything that could reduce your distrust of your partner?
After you write the list, then work with it and find out how realistic your expectations are?
And ask yourself a question - will I really trust and believe my husband (wife) if all the conditions are met?

Exercise 2

Think about it, do you trust your other half in other areas, for example, in raising children, managing family finances, etc.? Or is your mistrust concentrated only in the sexual sphere?

Think about it. And if in all other respects you trust your partner, then try to concentrate on this, and not on the fear that they will cheat on you or have an affair on the side.

Write a list - what do you trust your husband/wife with?
Try to carry this list with you or keep it nearby.
As soon as you have thoughts of mistrust or any suspicions, then take a few deep and slow breaths and exhales and start reading what you wrote.
If possible, read aloud, creating a positive mental image of your other half, completely immersing yourself in your own words.
Read until the attack of jealousy and suspicion passes; you can read it 20 or 30 times.

The best cure for jealousy is self-confidence, the confidence that you are a worthy person and that your other half appreciates, loves and respects you.

Now, when you are suffering from jealousy, your self-esteem is below an adequate level, because you mentally admit that your husband/wife does not appreciate you and wants to find a replacement.

How to get rid of jealousy towards your wife

It's no secret that men are great owners. And for some of them, the feeling of possessiveness sometimes turns into painful, exhausting, pathological jealousy, which poisons the life of both him and his wife. A jealous person directs all his energy to searching for evidence of his wife’s or lover’s infidelity, humiliating her with suspicion and humiliating himself. As a rule, relationships with such a person fall apart, unable to withstand groundless suspicions and accusations.

There is no talk of trust and mutual respect in a relationship with a jealous person, because love and jealousy cannot coexist in one person.

What is jealousy
Why are men jealous?
Why does jealousy of the past arise?
What is behind the fear of losing a relationship?
How to overcome jealousy?

What is jealousy

Jealousy is a painful doubt about the fidelity and love of our chosen one. This feeling is to some extent natural. Having given our heart to someone, we find ourselves defenseless and vulnerable, and past sad experiences make many of us also suspicious. Only some people manage to see their new relationships objectively and not be jealous for no reason. And others view their new union through the prism of previous experience, social stereotypes or personal complexes, while they believe that they are protecting their relationship from attacks from the outside, but they hardly understand what such a policy will lead to.

Not all jealousy can be considered pathological. In some cases it is completely justified.

There are objective signs of behavior that may most likely indicate female infidelity:

the woman looks feverishly animated and begins to take more care of herself;
her mobile phone is now always in her hands, she often writes or calls someone;
she stays late after work in the evenings “with friends”;
there was much less sex, and more refusals on her part in bed.

It is not a fact that in this case we are 100% talking about betrayal, but in such a situation your experiences are justified, they are the result of a wounded sense of self-esteem. You can get rid of suspicions only through a frank conversation, which will either reveal the fact of infidelity or dispel your anxiety.

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If not a single item from the previous list is observed in your life, most likely you are imagining betrayal. This happens if you have already experienced a sad experience and are afraid of repeating it, and also if you have problems with self-esteem and trust in your partner. Let's take a closer look.

Causes of jealousy in men

The main cause of pathological jealousy is always self-doubt. It causes fear of loneliness and leaving the comfort zone, it forces a person to consider only his emotions and desires, it is the basis of excessively inflated pride and fear of losing his reputation in the eyes of others.

Such a man views his woman as property who has no rights to her desires and affairs, and therefore tries to control her in various ways. They use blackmail, threats, scandals, surveillance, manipulation, intimidation, prohibitions, even physical violence. And even if there is no objective evidence of infidelity, the jealous person cannot calm down. In his inflamed brain, more and more new pictures of his wife’s sophisticated betrayal are born during her trip to the supermarket or to the pedicurist, and no one manages to convince him. At the same time, he looks, to put it mildly, pathetic.

If a man has already experienced his wife’s betrayal once in the past, in every new relationship he will look for hints of the woman’s infidelity and dishonesty, no matter how devoted she may be to him.

During a consultation with a psychologist, it often turns out that the childhood of a jealous person was overshadowed either by the dislike of his parents, or by their excessive love for regular showdowns based on jealousy. Most likely, they simply did not have enough time for the child, and instead of giving him love, care and attention, telling him about the big and wonderful world in which he is growing up, instilling reasonable, kind, eternal things, reading books and developing physically, parents tormented each other with groundless and loud suspicions of infidelity right in the presence of their son. And he will bring this manner of communication with the woman he loves into his own relationships when he grows up.

I am a professional family psychologist with experience in solving problems related to personal relationships. If you suffer from jealousy towards your wife or girlfriend, and it is poisoning your life, sign up with me for an individual psychological consultation. I conduct consultations in a private office in the center of Moscow and online using Skype.

Often the reason for a husband's jealousy of his wife is his sexual dissatisfaction. The lack of sex willy-nilly makes him think that he is not so desirable for her, or that she is dating someone else.

Pathological jealousy is not uncommon among unfaithful husbands who project their own sins onto their spouse, thus justifying their own infidelities. An amazing somersault of consciousness: why not cheat on your half if she has already “cheated”, “betrayed” and “disgraced”?

Jealousy of the past

It also happens that people break up, love goes away, but the feeling of jealousy does not go away for many years. The basis of this feeling is not only nostalgia, but also the fear of competition, that the predecessor left too deep a mark in the soul of the chosen one, that the feeling for him has not yet been overcome by the woman she loves, that at night she continues to dream about that other one. The reason for jealousy towards your ex-husband can be any little things related to the past. And even more so, if a woman has a child from her first marriage, then the new partner will always, even with the most wonderful relationship with him, feel that he is still inferior to his own father and that the child always has an ironclad argument in favor of the power of consanguinity.

Advice from a psychologist on how to get rid of jealousy about your wife or girlfriend’s past:

do not let the past into your current relationship: do not remember either your ex or her previous relationships, do not ask her any questions about this, do not allow thoughts that she once had a good time with someone else;
do not even allow mental comparisons of yourself with those with whom your other half previously met;
understand a simple thing: if she chose you, it means she has feelings for you. And the past is in the past.

If you are jealous of your ex-wife or lover of her new man, try to understand that this is a war with ghosts:

you broke up, at that time it was a reasonable and mutual decision, or you had to come to terms with your partner’s decision, realizing that you cannot make the other happy by force;
your paths have diverged, and each of you is building your own life;
during the time spent apart, you both have changed a lot, and the atmosphere that connected you will never return: you cannot step into the same river twice;
During this period, you periodically or constantly caught yourself thinking that your separation was for the better, and experienced at least fleeting relief, which suggests that your soul is on the path of healing from the past and overcoming jealousy is a matter of time.

If you still can’t get rid of painful experiences and stop being jealous, then the best solution would be to contact a psychologist who will help express the problem in words and tell you how to heal mental trauma.

What is behind the fear of losing a relationship?

Typically, fear leads to what we fear most. It makes us awkward, weak, deprives us of quickness of mind and self-confidence, and in the end we stumble in the very place where, ironically, it is most difficult to stumble.

And if you try to look beyond the fear itself, it becomes even scarier. If you try, by way of reflection, to imagine the most unpleasant scenario and its consequences: what will happen to us if suspicions are justified and what lies ahead is separation and divorce from a loved one, loss of the opportunity to see children... See yourself in a month, a year, three. Or, on the contrary, understand what prompted your spouse to cheat, and make every effort to save your relationship now.

This small psychological move helps you separate your true feelings from painful attachments and feel in the present moment. Loving and feeling affection are completely different things. Love is freedom. Attachment is a disease and captivity of suspicion, one’s own insecurities and self-dislike.

How to learn to control jealousy?

Instincts are embedded in us at the genetic level, and they are difficult to cope with. And jealousy is an instinct. But you can learn to control it. This is why we have been given reason.

First of all, you will have to admit to yourself that you are jealous of your wife, girlfriend or ex-lover, and that this anxiety clouds your judgment, makes it impossible to think rationally, takes away your strength and discourages your taste for life. This step is necessary in order to begin to act logically further. Until you admit to yourself that there is a problem that is preventing you from living, no further action is possible.

Stop spying on her, even if she doesn't know it. This behavior only worsens the situation and heats up the situation between you. You look more and more nervous and dissatisfied, and she may actually have the idea that you have stopped loving her, you are not happy with her, there is something wrong with her, she is no longer desirable to you. And in this case, it’s really not far from breaking off the relationship and looking for admiration on the side. On the contrary, try to show her more warmth, care, admiration, and you will immediately understand from the response whether everything is okay between you.

Instead of comparing yourself with other men who she supposedly likes more than you, take care of yourself. Realize your strengths. Think about your hobbies. Get into the habit of going to the gym at least twice a week to relieve stress and, what's more, keep fit. Try to be alone less so that unnecessary fantasies do not enter your head. And just try to put yourself in the shoes of your other half: is it nice when you secretly check your phone and are greeted on the threshold not with a kiss, but with folded hands on your chest, a sideways glance and an attempt to find irrefutable evidence of adultery on your clothes?

Meet your fear: if you suspect that your loved one is cheating on you with one of her friends, establish communication with him, most likely you will be convinced that there is nothing and cannot be between them.

Calm your emotions and try to look at the situation soberly. It often happens that a person sees a catastrophe where there is no trace of it. But at the same time, he relies only on his feelings and suspicions, and not on facts, he doesn’t even have information about what the woman thinks about this. Therefore, a frank and calm conversation with your spouse is necessary. Tell us what worries you, what exactly in her behavior makes you jealous, nervous and tormented by suspicion. Try to agree that she behave differently in certain situations; if she cares about you, she will definitely compromise so that you can deal with jealousy.

In order to pass this test without loss, it is best to consult a psychologist. I am ready to help you overcome jealousy, teach you how to control it, understand the position of your chosen one, and most importantly, restore your self-confidence. All this can be worked out in a personal psychological consultation, which I conduct in person and via Skype. To make an appointment, you can call the phone number indicated on the main page or leave your contacts in the electronic contact form at the bottom of the page. Our communication is confidential, you can trust me with all your experiences, and not a single word will leave my office.

How to learn not to be jealous of your husband/wife and become self-confident?

Now, when you control and are jealous of your other half, you make one mistake - you admit the idea that you are worse than others. Although, on a conscious level, you don’t think so, your thoughts move in a circle and concern the behavior of the other half.

But…

In what cases can betrayal occur? Only if you don't suit your partner, right?

Is it so? Unlikely…

The fact that you are not consciously aware of your deepest attitudes about yourself suggests that simple exercises to increase self-esteem will not give a good and lasting result. I’m writing about this because there are a lot of tips on the Internet on how to increase self-confidence and self-esteem.

Jealousy comes from deeper layers, and it is necessary to work with it more seriously and for a long time. By and large, jealousy will grow out of suspiciousness, anxiety, fears, concerns, etc.

To become a more confident person, you need to find your core beliefs about yourself that arose at an earlier age as a result of traumatic situations.

If you suffer from jealousy and understand that your own actions are “killing” your relationship, then contact me for help. I conduct consultations online via Skype, WhatsApp or Viber. You can find out more details by following this link.

This is where I end, and I hope that I answered the question “how to stop being jealous of your husband and giving yourself advice,” and you were able to glean useful information for yourself.

Sincerely, psychologist Natalia Gnezdilova.
The author of the article is Natalia Gnezdilova , a family psychologist with 15 years of experience. I help women 35+ regain love, respect and trust in relationships with men. I consult online in any of the messengers - Skype, WhatsApp, Viber. Subscribe: my Instagram YouTube channel VK page

Why are we jealous?

Male and female jealousy are slightly different. This is probably due to different temperaments, habits and demands on oneself and others.

Male jealousy

Men are owners. They need one hundred percent confidence in their abilities. This also applies to relationships. If a woman is next to a man, then nothing and no one should take first place for her except him. This applies to friends, work, and parents.

Strong representatives of humanity are accustomed to keeping everything under control, and when even a small detail does not coincide with their train of thought, emotions come into play.

Sometimes a man is hurt not by the betrayal itself, but by the moment that his sense of ownership suffers. As you know, the stronger sex has a high level of pride.

By the way, many cheaters are more jealous of their wives than faithful spouses. They reason like this: if I cheat, then she can cheat too.

Insecure men are especially strong jealous people. They see dirty tricks, meanness and negative consequences everywhere. Every time a stranger looks at his wife, they throw strong hysterics and accuse their spouse of being too available.

Female jealousy

Beautiful female representatives are also jealous of their husbands with or without reason. Many control their faithful with constant phone calls, surveillance, searching pockets, throwing hysterics, turning on “ women’s tears ,” and reading personal correspondence.

In this case, self-doubt and a sense of ownership are also to blame. In addition, everyone knows the stereotype about male infidelity: all men are polygamous.

Any woman dreams in her declining years to be close to her beloved man, to have children, grandchildren, and a cozy home. And when an unpleasant picture of lonely old age appears before your eyes, fear appears. This is another reason for female jealousy.

The Real Reasons for Being a Double Agent

Why doesn't he leave the family? The most common reason is a convenient relationship. Some bigamists admit that living in two families has its advantages, it can be described as an attempt to create an “ideal family” in a mosaic way. A mistress is a unique way to get what is missing in a legal union. The reason may also be the search for an “outlet”, a pleasant interlocutor, a close friend, an adviser in the person of a mistress.

The second option is the search for new bright emotions, thrills, novelty, and variety. Perhaps the man lacks romance or, conversely, extreme sports. The threat of being exposed, the awareness of walking on a “thin blade” makes life more interesting, turns gray everyday life into an extraordinary adventure. Some representatives of the stronger sex have chosen such relationships as a way to combat their own complexes and increase self-esteem.