Crisis of 7 years in a child: signs, advice for parents

If parents have already heard about such a phenomenon in a child’s life as the crisis of three years of age, then few know about the crisis of 7 years of age. Therefore, when a son or daughter of primary school age stops obeying, makes faces and is capricious, parents are lost and do not know how to react correctly. Some begin to use strict educational measures, others drag them to see a psychiatrist, believing that something is wrong with the child.

We invite parents to read this article and find out what a child’s 7-year-old crisis actually is.

Features of the psychology of a child aged 7 years

As the Soviet psychologist L. S. Vygotsky noted, the main feature of the transition period is the loss of childish naivety and predictability. The baby’s inner world becomes more complicated: he is not so open to people, analyzes reality, thinks before saying anything. Parents do not always understand the motives of his actions.

A preschooler becomes a schoolchild: he needs to choose a place in the class hierarchy, develop independence, and look for reliable support. Play ceases to be the main activity; study takes its place. A number of physiological changes are observed - in the body, facial features. The level of strength, endurance, and coordination increases.

The appearance of new friends also leaves an imprint: the search for like-minded people makes you think about your own life guidelines. The child separates a little from the family, compares it with others, criticizes the parents, even reproaches them for improper upbringing (“Mom, you’re rushing me, but you’re taking so long to get ready that we’re late!”)

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What should parents of a “crisis” child do? Turn off panic and turn on understanding. You know that the transition period cannot last a lifetime. Soon, instead of imitating adults, the child will make his own decisions based on the situation and his feelings. He will have his own opinion, passion and attitude towards everything around him.

Do not show concern in total control and increased demands. Give your child the opportunity to “breathe deeply.” The transition period called “crisis” will be facilitated by reconsidering the attitude towards the child and expanding the boundaries of his freedom. Explain to your child the importance of training attention and memory, but leave the duration of the sessions at his discretion. However, do not forget about careful instruction - the games “Submarines” and “Space” can captivate a student so much that he loses track of time.

Help your child finish his chores on time. He should go to bed at the same time in order to be able to restore strength for new achievements.

How the crisis manifests itself

What metamorphoses occur with a child during a crisis? Main features:

the child ceases to be obedient, refuses to carry out small tasks at the last moment;
pretends not to hear when spoken to;
is ashamed of his previous hobbies, throws them away, breaks toys (“I’m not little anymore”);
worries about appearance, wants to look more mature;
keeps feelings to himself, is reluctant to consult with family members;
drawn to team games and interest groups;
understands the tricks of parents, does not tolerate injustice (“Why can you sit at the computer until late, but I can’t?”);
understands emotions, can clearly answer what his mood is and why;
declares the right to independence (you cannot simply declare “You must eat soup, we said so!” - this will cause a storm of indignation).

Defiant behavior, cunning, and secret hobbies appear. The child fantasizes less and strives more to understand the real essence of things. The craving for dolls and cars disappears.

Knowledge about the world around us

By the beginning of school, the child must know his first, middle and last names, address, city and country of residence. He must also know the first, patronymic and last names of all family members and their professions. It’s a good idea to know your mobile phone number by heart (yours, if the child has one, as well as mom’s or dad’s).

The child must be well versed in the area where he lives in order to quickly remember the way to school and, if necessary, get home on his own. It is useful to learn the names of nearby streets and remember important points that can help you find the area.

In addition, a seven-year-old must:

know the names and sequence of months, days of the week, seasons and days;
know the main natural phenomena (rain, snow, wind) and seasonal weather changes;
distinguish between wild and domestic animals;
know the names of various flowers, trees and herbs;
be able to tell time using a clock (electronic and analog), know what a minute, half an hour, an hour is.

Crisis through the eyes of a child

The baby is good at distinguishing shades of emotions, but absolutely does not know how to control them. It turns out that the world has always been dangerous and contradictory, but mom and dad solved difficult issues. Now you have to rely on yourself.

During the 7-year crisis, children do a great job: they examine the structure of society from the inside, pay attention to their weaknesses, and regularly receive fresh information from their peers. This is a heavy burden on the psyche, which is aggravated by constant study.

Lack of free time, intellectual work, anxiety - the child realizes that the carefree time is over, he needs to grow up. He compares his achievements with the successes of his classmates, realizing that it is impossible to be a leader in all areas.

The school staff can be unfriendly. The first encounter with criticism, an atmosphere of competition, ridicule, and devaluation inevitably affects the student’s behavior. The task of parents is to support the child at all stages of growing up.

How long does the crisis period last?

The crisis of seven years, like other age-related crises, does not last very long - from six to nine months. If the course of the crisis was successful, then upon its completion the child becomes a mature “school personality”, who has a formed internal position and is aware of his social role.

It is noted that this crisis process, although “social,” also has physiological grounds. It is during this period that the frontal lobes of the cerebral cortex, which are responsible for the ability to plan, predict the outcome of actions, and control one’s behavior, actively develop. The processes of excitation and inhibition remain fluid, as a result of which the child exhibits restlessness and hyperactivity. The emotional state of the child is unstable (labile).

Causes of the 7 year crisis

This is a turning point in the graph of human development. Children learn to manage their desires and little by little set their life priorities.

A first grader asks the question: “Why do I need this? Why do I spend so much time and effort on studying?” The answer does not lie on the surface - children do not know how to make long-term plans. The words of adults in the spirit of “You will grow up, go to university, find a job” sound unconvincing.

A crisis of self-determination arises. For the first time, the child looks at his social self through the eyes of those around him. The future beckons and frightens at the same time, support disappears from under your feet - parents do not seem as ideal as in early childhood.

Providing professional assistance

Short-term attacks of psychosis in a child disappear immediately after their cause disappears. More severe diseases require long-term therapy, often in an inpatient hospital setting. Specialists use the same drugs to treat childhood psychosis as for adults, only in appropriate doses.

Treatment of psychoses and psychotic spectrum disorders in children involves:

prescription of antipsychotics, antidepressants, stimulants, etc.;
consultations with relevant specialists;
family therapy;
group and individual psychotherapy;
attention and love of parents.

If parents were able to identify a mental disorder in their child in time, then several consultations with a psychiatrist or psychologist are usually sufficient to improve the condition. But there are cases that require long-term treatment and being under the supervision of doctors.

Psychological failure in a child, which is associated with his physical condition, is cured immediately after the disappearance of the underlying disease. If the illness was provoked by a stressful situation experienced, then even after the condition improves, the baby requires special treatment and consultations with a psychotherapist.

In extreme cases, when severe aggression occurs, the child may be prescribed tranquilizers. But for the treatment of children, the use of heavy psychotropic drugs is used only in extreme cases.

In most cases, psychoses experienced in childhood do not return in adulthood in the absence of provoking situations. Parents of recovering children must fully adhere to the daily routine, do not forget about daily walks, a balanced diet and, if necessary, take care of taking medications in a timely manner.

The baby cannot be left unattended. If there is the slightest disturbance in his mental state, it is necessary to seek help from a specialist who will help him cope with the problem that has arisen.

To treat and avoid consequences for the child’s psyche in the future, it is necessary to follow all recommendations of specialists.

Symptoms

How to understand that a child is in a state of crisis?

In speech, the constructions “I am upset”, “I am sad”, “I am happy” appear. There is a noticeable tendency to describe feelings. The student is able to explain his current state: “I’m in a good mood because the teacher praised my work.”
Attention is directed to the results of creative, mental activity. Children aged 7 are sensitive to criticism and need encouragement. Without the evaluation of outsiders, they lose motivation faster.
The child changes his behavior depending on the situation: he formally responds to guests and teachers; peers - more cheeky.
Rebels, does not obey due to stubbornness (for example, does not wear a hat, even if it is cold outside). Lives with an eye on friends; elders cease to be an unquestioning authority.
Reminds me of a small teenager - he defends the right to personal space, swears.

Sometimes complaints about teachers are added. The kid is torn between “I want” and “I need.” I want to play, but I have to go to school. The new rules irritate the children, but adaptation occurs quite quickly.

Diagnostic criteria and methods

Despite the proposed list of signs of psychosis, no parent can definitely and accurately diagnose it on their own. First of all, parents should take their child to a psychotherapist. But even after the first appointment with a professional, it is too early to talk about mental personality disorders. A small patient should be examined by the following doctors:

neurologist;
ENT;
speech therapist;
psychiatrist;
a doctor who specializes in developmental diseases.

Sometimes the patient is admitted to a hospital for examination and necessary procedures and tests.

Duration of the crisis

It's difficult to make an accurate forecast. The crisis in most cases coincides with entry into primary school - at the age of 6-7 years.

Then follows a time period of adaptation, depending on the nervous system and the level of preparation for school. Most children cope with the crisis within 1 year.

A crisis is not just about moving forward. Failures are inevitable. The child gets used to studying, suddenly a classmate begins to insult him, and persuasion is useless: the word “school” brings tears.

Little by little the situation is stabilizing: in order to gain valuable experience, you need to go through trials.

Physical development

By the age of seven, children are already well developed physically. They are hardy and can run and play for hours. Coordination of movements is clear and confident.

Before school, a child should be able to:

run at different paces, run around obstacles without touching them;
jump up and forward, jump over obstacles;
hang on a horizontal bar, wall bars;
squat without bending your back;
swing your legs without losing your balance;
ride a bike;
play with the ball (toss and catch, kick, throw into a hoop or basket);
walk on a log or board without falling;
tumble.

Seven-year-olds can and should be introduced to various sports (football, athletics, swimming, dancing).

Advice from a psychologist for parents

Criticize the action, not the person. “You didn’t leave a single piece of candy for your sister, you greedy girl!” - incorrect. Try this: “It’s a pity that you forgot to share with others. We would be pleased."
Teach your child to discuss problems and take the situation into pieces. What happened, what emotions dominate? Such exercises will teach you to think consciously, observing from the outside.
Talk about everyday issues in a friendly tone, without pressure.
Don't repeat what was said. The child remembers very well that you asked to take out the trash. Every reminder makes him angry: it feels like his parents are deliberately mocking him and don’t understand him.
Surprise with unexpected facts. Don't feel like eating vegetables? Does the child know how vitamins affect the body? Tell us in detail, find a video with an explanation.
Include help around the house and extra classes after school in your schedule - idleness brings with it scandals and whims.
Rest. Monitor your child’s sleep hygiene: the brain works continuously and regularly requires a reboot.
Ask questions. Who did you manage to make friends with? What struck you the most? What are your plans for the next day?
Don't force your children to fulfill your youthful ambitions. Your child doesn't have to love counting if you dreamed of becoming a mathematician.
Feel like you've lost control? It would be wise to contact a school psychologist. Oddities, attacks of anger, increased aggressiveness are a reason for consultation.

Motor development

Fine motor skills of the hands are already developed so much that the child can confidently write and draw. By the age of seven he should be able to:

hold the pen correctly in your hand;
draw any lines - straight, broken, wavy, dotted;
depict geometric figures;
color drawings, shading tightly and not going beyond the outline;
complete the missing elements in the drawing;
cut paper shapes with scissors along the contour;
sculpt from clay, plasticine;
fold a sheet of paper, aligning the corners evenly;
collect constructor;
tie and untie shoelaces, knots, braid hair.

The better a child’s motor skills are developed, the faster he will master writing. In addition, motor skills are closely related to thinking. The better the baby controls his fingers, the easier it will be for him to learn the educational material.

What should parents not do?

For parents, the 7-year crisis is a test of strength. What actions should I avoid?

Watch out for the contradictions you broadcast. For example: “You are so big, but you still don’t know how to clean!” The child concludes: I’m already an adult, it’s time to fulfill my responsibilities. The next day he hears: “You can’t communicate with Misha, he behaves disgustingly. You’re still small, when you grow up you’ll understand.”

Dissonance arises: what am I? Where is the limit of what is permitted? Uncertainty creates stress; the child does not understand where to obey elders and where to show self-sufficiency.

A calm attitude towards what is happening will help. Children copy their parents throughout their lives, especially at the age of 7. Your mood affects your child. Don’t worry about school grades or minor comments from the teacher - focus on your child’s individual progress.

Why are children susceptible to mental disorders?

Multiple causes contribute to the development of mental disorders in children. Psychiatrists identify whole groups of factors:

genetic;
biological;
sociopsychological;
psychological.

The most important provoking factor is a genetic predisposition to mental disorders. Other reasons include:

problems with intelligence (mental retardation and others like it);
organic brain damage;
incompatibility of the temperament of the baby and the parent;
family discord;
conflicts between parents;
events that left psychological trauma;
medications that can cause a psychotic state;
high fever, which may cause hallucinations or delusions;
neuroinfections.

To date, all possible causes have not been fully studied, but studies have confirmed that children with schizophrenia almost always have signs of organic brain disorders, and patients with autism are often diagnosed with cerebral insufficiency, which is explained by hereditary causes or injuries during childbirth .

Psychosis in young children can occur due to parental divorce.

At-risk groups

Thus, children are at risk:

one of whose parents had or has mental disorders;
who are brought up in a family where conflicts constantly arise between parents;
have had neuroinfections;
those who have suffered psychological trauma;
whose blood relatives have mental illnesses, and the closer the degree of relationship, the greater the risk of developing the disease.

Possible risks

Unpreparedness for a new stage of life leads to the fact that the first grader asks to return to kindergarten - a safe, studied place with low demands, caring teachers and comfort.

Parents refuse, a vicious circle arises: discontent - rebellion - humility and passivity. The child misses his old life and lags behind in his studies. Social connections are weakening, the baby is not interested in the games of his classmates.

Negative experiences can be traumatic and deprive you of your desire to attend school. By letting the situation take its course, parents risk making the child downtrodden, insecure, and suffering from maladjustment.

The right to make your own decisions

A 7-year-old child is faced with various demands both at home and at school, which he must comply with impeccably. Reluctance to obey is the main reason for the negative manifestations of the crisis. In response to everything “must”, “need”, “do”, the baby says “I won’t”, “I won’t”, “I don’t want”.

When a child defends the right to make his own decisions, parents should use a trick:

Formulate demands and requests so that the child fulfills them voluntarily. You can call on your favorite comic book and cartoon character for help or tell instructive stories.
Appeal to the child’s existing experience instead of pressure from authority. Remind your child that he caught a cold when he wanted to take a walk without a hat in cool weather.
Teach your child to argue reasonedly instead of trying to suppress his opinion. This experience will give parents the opportunity to hear their child, and the child will have the opportunity to correctly refuse the demands of adults.
Communicate as equals. Don't demand, don't threaten, and make decisions for your child. Don't give him advice or direction until he asks for your opinion. Ask how long it will take to complete a certain task, and make sure that the child fits into the announced schedule.

As the child reaches the age of 7, he increasingly finds himself in situations in which he has never been before. He is attracted by the freedom of action and independence of his elders, so he tries his best to imitate them. The formation of the associative series “first class-responsibility-growing up” only adds fuel to the fire. The result is a crisis of transition and stress for parents.

The patience of adults and the expansion of the baby’s capabilities are the main helpers in overcoming this difficult stage of life.

Positive changes after the crisis

What will make parents happy after an anxious period?

You will understand what an interesting conversationalist a child becomes, you will find common hobbies, and you will be able to diversify your leisure time. The place of a helpless baby will be taken by a full-fledged family member with a unique view of the world.

With a positive end to the crisis, a thirst for knowledge, new experience, and a desire to help parents arise. School is not disgusting; teachers are perceived as wise mentors.

Open-minded thinking allows children to perceive life without stereotypes - this is a quality that adults have lost. The child will help you make a choice, eliminate cynicism, and broaden your horizons. To do this, you need to spend time together more often, be patient, and communicate productively.

Gender characteristics

Boys and girls experience the 7-year crisis differently. We invite you to consider the differences: they are determined by biological characteristics, upbringing traditions, and society’s expectations.

Crisis of 7 years in boys

Boys cannot sit still, run around, and have difficulty concentrating on school. It is important for them to appear better than others, to compete. It is useless to shout and call for discipline: children need to throw out energy. Sports that require speed and endurance are useful.

Help the boy organize his daily routine and establish the educational process. His attention jumps from subject to subject - at first he needs the help of an adult. Don't criticize for every mistake.

Crisis of 7 years in girls

An excellent student and the pride of the class, being alone with her parents can be unbearable. Little girls are weighed down by the burden of responsibilities: they need to study well, be neat, and obedient. While holding back at school, the child demonstrates aggression at home.

You should be sensitive and understanding with a girl. Both parents must show interest in her life. Take the time to have heart-to-heart conversations if your child needs them.

The crisis of 7 years is a blow to children's self-esteem. Encourage any endeavors, give love and warmth. Parental support is the foundation of a healthy, harmonious personality in the future.

Emotional Intelligence for Children

We introduce children to the types of emotions, how to manage them and how to express themselves in teamwork, through situational games,
find out more

Rules of engagement: what to do?

Basic rules to follow:

Don't raise your voice. The negative mood of parents should not affect their children.
Explain your requirements. A seven-year-old is quite capable of learning the rules, and he must understand what exactly they want from him, and not because mom or dad decided so.
Do not violate the established rules yourself and do not change those established for the child.
Do not limit communication with peers.
You can't compare with others.
If problems arise at school, you cannot ignore them, you must find a way to help.
Treats younger students like adults.

If the crisis and the child’s behavior get out of control, then it is better to contact a psychologist or ask for advice from an experienced teacher.

Parents should demonstrate in every possible way their love and respect for the personality of the growing person . However, this does not mean that you need to indulge his every whim and fulfill every desire. The growing person must understand that there are limitations, but they must be given an explanation as to why.

A seven-year-old is already at a fairly conscious age and is able to learn many rules and follow them.

A daily routine is good and correct, but there should be time for rest. On weekends, you should be given the opportunity to relax, engage in your favorite activity, and rest.

Children get very tired of the educational process, especially in the first months of attending school, when they are getting used to new rules, routines, and more active activities - mental and physical. Overwork leads to aggression , refusal to learn, and to follow established rules.

When accepted rules are devalued

When the rules are devalued, the child is often rude, stubborn, argues over any issue, and breaks toys.
The parents’ task is to firmly and calmly insist on compliance with the rules and explain that it is unacceptable to be rude to adults and children. You can tell your child that he is now an adult, so he must behave accordingly.

The example of close relatives is of great importance - the child learns behavior from adults. At the same time, it is necessary to increase self-esteem, not to punish, but to suggest how to behave better and more correctly.

If you want to imitate adults

The natural desire of a growing person is to behave like an adult. We must encourage positive aspects : the desire to work and study. The desire to be like an adult fosters willpower, courage, and independence. Parents should stop treating their junior schoolchildren like a toddler, otherwise this will cause even more resistance.

You consider yourself an adult, which means you must follow certain rules. Mom and dad work, your job is studying.

When striving for independence

Support the child in his desire to develop, explore the world, become more independent, give simple tasks that he is able to complete. The development of independence at this age is necessary so that the child can confidently and actively navigate the world around him and solve current problems and tasks himself without relying on adults.