Just like an adult: at what point do we grow up and how to live with it?

The many faces of an adult

The image of an adult, which has been broadcast for a long time through various media and norms of behavior, is largely collective.
It was made up of ideas about success, decency, expectations and possibilities. The social role of an adult is also imbued with a hierarchical flair: an adult is given more opportunities, they speak to him more respectfully, they do not refuse service and do not ask: “Where are your parents?” when he tries to pay with a large bill. But at different social levels, there are different requirements and restrictions for an adult.

“Adult” - from the point of view of the state

Legally, a person becomes an adult at the time of majority, when full legal capacity and responsibility become available to him in accordance with the laws of the country of which he is a citizen (or resident). As a rule, at this level, an adult is expected to understand the boundaries of good and bad, laws and possibilities. However, nothing prevents legal adults from exhibiting far “non-adult” behavior: living with their parents at the age of 50, earning less than what is considered a worthy amount, investing in financial pyramids, and more.

"Adult" as a social status

But at this level there are the notorious ever-ticking clock and other horror stories, with the help of which a person is called upon to conform to a set of stereotypes. In fact, from the point of view of society, an adult is truly a set of images and expectations: he is required to have a certain appearance, stable work, emphasized seriousness, but most importantly - responsibility for himself, his business or for another person (usually a child or elderly relative). However, in some respects, the role of a child may never change to the role of an adult at all, for example, if a person has domineering parents.

"Adult" as an achievement or set of attributes

Imagine that your “mother’s friend’s son” has grown up from childhood.
He has his own property without a loan, a stable job with sky-high prospects and a cosmic salary (or better yet, his own business), and he also had a magnificent wedding and had children. These are already status attributes of an adult, which, of course, are not achievable by everyone. However, there are very real advantages, such as the ability to travel without parental consent, make large purchases, and so on. Typically, all these levels of stereotypes imply only the shell of a proper adult who does not inconvenience others, sets the right example, and is somehow invested in the greater good. In this utopian picture of “shoulds,” “expecteds,” and “desirables,” the emotional underside of the person who plays the role of an adult is definitely missing. Fortunately, now it’s much easier to see it.

Much of the difficulty in playing the role of an adult lies in the fact that at different levels, adulthood begins at different points. At the legislative level, a change of role occurs at the moment of coming of age, as in Cinderella - at the twelfth stroke of the clock, the carriage turns into a pumpkin, horses into mice, a carefree childhood into a set of responsibilities. At the social (informal) level, a person is expected to enter the final phase of “adulthood”, when it is time for him to settle down, for example, after marriage.

In Europe from the 40s to the 80s, the path to growing up looked something like this: a young man or girl graduated from school, moved to the next level of education, completed it, then got a job, their own home, a car and children - the metamorphosis into an adult was completed. But today, adulthood does not lie in this route from graduate to family man, and it does not begin on the night of one’s eighteenth birthday.

How human behavior changes during different periods of adulthood

With the advent of each new period of growing up, you can notice general changes in almost all people.

Changes in mental functions

First of all, changes occur in the sensory sphere:

• Visual acuity decreases. The maximum color sensitivity of human eyes is observed at the age of 20-30 years. After this, vision decreases.
• Hearing gets worse. It's not that noticeable. People typically notice severe vision loss by age 50.
• Attention decreases. This begins to happen at the age of 34 (according to the theory of B. G. Ananyev).
• Memory. According to research, short-term, auditory and other types of memory can remain at the same level from 18 to 30 years. After this, memory deterioration is observed.
• Intelligence. D. Wexler argued that intelligence grows until the age of 20, and then remains at a stable level. From the age of 30, a person learns to use his mental abilities more productively. By the age of 60, the tendency for logical thinking begins to gradually decline. However, there are many other versions of how the development and decline of intellectual activity occurs. For example, there were studies according to which some subjects demonstrated higher mental abilities at 47-50 years old.
• Creativity. According to A.K. Kanatov, creativity in men can remain at the same level in the period from 25 to 55 years. A noticeable decline in abilities is observed after this age. In women, the decline in the level of creativity is not so noticeable and occurs gradually, that is, even after 55 years, this function is quite active. But just like mental ability, creativity is very individual, so it’s difficult to give general statistics.

Changes in the emotional sphere

Adulthood is a rather controversial concept in psychology. Each specialist voices his or her theory of when the most noticeable changes in a person’s behavior or perception occur.

For example, changes in the emotional sphere often include the level of empathy. Most psychologists are inclined to believe that the level of compassion for others increases until the age of 40-50. At this age, empathy reaches its peak. This means that a 40-year-old's empathy is significantly higher than that of a 15-year-old's.

After 50 years, women and men experience a decline in empathy equally. At the same time, the opposite is gradually happening. On the contrary, a 60-year-old person’s level of compassion is noticeably lower than that of teenagers. If we compare the intensity of empathy, it is higher in women than in men at any age.

There is also a change in excessive emotional sensitivity (sentimentality). This indicator increases with age. For example, something that does not cause any emotions in a person at 15-20 years old can cause tenderness or a surge of emotions in someone who is 50-60 years old. Sentimentality develops in the same way in men and women.

Also, after 60 years, this function gradually fades away. It is noteworthy that men experience more active surges in sentimentality. However, due to their reluctance to express their emotions, males are less likely to show their true emotions than females.

Changes in the motivational sphere

A person's needs and interests change greatly as they grow older. With age, a person can begin to do completely opposite things that he had not even thought about before. According to research, the older a person gets (regardless of his gender), the more important family and health become for him. In turn, friends, passion, love gradually fade into the background.

Motivation peaks at age 30. It is at this age that a person begins to think seriously about the future and make efforts to achieve what he wants. A beautiful life, appearance, momentary pleasures become less important. Stability comes. After 45-47 years, people devote more time to health and apply the life wisdom they have received.

Many experts are inclined to believe that as we grow older, our hormonal levels also change. That is, after the age of 18, people experience increased desire, so it is more difficult for them to set more serious goals and focus on them. When attraction decreases, other aspirations appear.

Changes in the psychomotor sphere

Adulthood in psychology is understood under many aspects. For example, this is also the development of muscle strength. In men, it increases until the age of 25, after which it decreases (we are talking about natural muscle strength, and not about visiting the gym). By age 50, muscle mass may decrease by 10 kg or more. For women, the maximum is between 21 and 23 years old. After this, muscle strength also decreases, but not as radically as in men.

Also, from 18-28 to 50-60 years old, the speed of motor reactions is preserved. Only by the age of 70 is there a noticeable decrease in the speed of movement of the arms and legs. Some experts think a little differently. They argue that motor functions remain at a high level until 75, and until 80 years they only decrease slightly.

Changes in personality traits

As you grow older, there are a lot of changes in personality traits:

• Responsibility. It is produced by the age of 25 and remains at approximately the same level throughout life.

• Aggressiveness. This is the so-called integral property, which can be expressed in different ways. In women, aggressiveness (which also includes assertiveness, vindictiveness and other qualities) decreases as they get older. By the age of 60-70, it decreases by almost 2 times. For men, the dynamics are slightly different. For example, by the age of 21 they have the highest level of vindictiveness, and then it decreases slightly. Also, among men, the highest level of uncompromisingness occurs between 31 and 50 years old. Then it declines, but by age 61 it rises again.
• Comfort. These rates are significantly higher in older people. This is due to the fact that by the age of 25-30 a person listens more to his own opinion and concentrates less on what others think.

When does a person start to feel like an adult?

A person’s maturation begins in childhood, from the very first episode of separation, when he separates from his parents and begins to act independently. At this moment, personal boundaries and an understanding of responsibility for one’s actions begin to form.

Soviet psychologist and teacher Daniil Borisovich Elkonin divided adulthood into two sides:

• Objective adulthood When other people recognize the independence, rights and responsibilities of an adult member of society. As a rule, it begins with adulthood.
• Subjective adulthood The moment when a person (mostly a teenager) begins to feel like an adult. At this moment, he begins to adopt adult norms of behavior and demand appropriate attitude, tact, and recognition of his decisions or rights at the adult level.

A teenager’s sense of adulthood is formed based on the role models that he sees in his environment: parents primarily take part in this. They not only set an example of adult behavior, but also influence the formation of adulthood in a teenager, supporting him or limiting him. It is parents who can support the child and help him develop independence, financial and emotional independence, recognizing him in the role of an adult.

Also, the immediate environment, friends, and peers contribute to maintaining a sense of adulthood. As a result of successful separation, a person gains emotional independence, financial and physical independence, he makes decisions not because it is expected of him, and not to spite the environment, and he also confidently bears responsibility for the decisions made.

Features of age

The main features of the period of adulthood include:

• change in motives, strengthening the influence of universal human values, growth of general motivation;
• growth in the ability to plan and implement actions in accordance with these values;
• increased ability to mobilize one’s own resources during life’s difficulties;
• an objective assessment of one’s strengths and weaknesses, readiness for new and more complex actions, overcoming difficulties, and achieving new heights.

The named features are neoplasms of adulthood. They do not necessarily occur simultaneously; more often, some serve as a trigger for other changes or cause a higher level of development in other elements. If in previous periods development proceeds evenly across all spheres and directions of the personality at once, then the flourishing of maturity has a very chaotic or hierarchical character.

Typical adult vs. happy adult

There are many varieties of adults today. There are stereotypical adults, stern and reserved, from the 40s and 50s, and there are kidults](https://theoryandpractice.ru/posts/14565-ty-kidalt-kogda-zakanchivaetsya-detstvo-ili-otkuda-berutsya-infantilnye -vzroslye), who even at the threshold of 30 do not know what they want to be when they grow up.

“It is important to understand that developmental psychology—the way we define normal at different ages—is based on the “average temperature in the hospital,” and it studies how a person changes in a changing world. In this regard, the image of a typical adult has been turned upside down in the public consciousness many times. Now childhood has become longer, and there are many more choices. Nowadays, 18-year-olds are not expected to make any decisions made once and for all; parents, as a rule, do not force them to go to a factory or bake bread, give birth to children, and so on. The world has changed and continues to change very quickly, and the stereotypical picture of a serious and collected adult has been shattered to smithereens by new media adults such as Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs and others.

The age at which we reach emotional, physical and financial independence has also increased; we can say that a modern adult hatches by age 30. Around this time, he realizes his desires, his inclinations and potential. And it is this, and not external attributes, that characterizes the modern adult. In the current view, an adult mature person is one who makes decisions based on his own values, who does not dictate to others that they need to go to war or to a factory - that is, he knows his personal boundaries and does not violate others. Even his parents don’t tell him what to do, because he has successfully separated himself from them, and does not succumb to the stereotypes and attitudes that were transmitted to him from the outside.”

“, comments Alena Vanchenko, psychotherapist, neuropsychologist.

Age limits of maturity in the table

Adulthood is a common concept in psychology. But it is also one of the most controversial. It is most convenient to consider age boundaries by authors whose theories are the most popular and relevant.

Modern psychologists consider the stages of maturation in general:

• from 20 to 30 years – early;
• from 30 to 40 years – average;
• from 40 to 60 years – late.

Features of crises

Crises of adulthood differ from the crises that precede them - they do not have a clear chronology and are to a greater extent personal crises rather than age-related. The duration, severity, and moment of occurrence depend more on personal circumstances rather than on age.

A pronounced internal desire for growth and improvement can significantly bring the crises of adulthood, as well as the period of adulthood itself, closer. It is at this time that physical and psychological ages tend to diverge as much as possible.

Other factors approaching and provoking a crisis include:

• deterioration of health (illness, hormonal changes);
• economic problems;
• political instability in the country;
• change of habitual lifestyle;
• increasing demands and expectations;
• social pressure.

There is a high risk of a personal crisis superimposing an age crisis. Then the flow will be more difficult, as will the rethinking of life.

What is infantilism?

Infantilism is a discrepancy between a person’s biological age and his psychological maturity.
An infantile person is afraid to make independent decisions, he needs care from others, and is prone to immoderate egoistic manifestations. Infantility in women and men differs from each other. A man-child runs away from responsibility. He doesn’t want children, is afraid of a serious relationship, and often continues to live with his mother. He is addicted to teenage games, avoids serious tasks at work and is very afraid of disapproval. His life is built on children's performances, where he receives either praise or punishment.

Female infantilism manifests itself in the “princess disease.” Such girls are looking for a prince from a fairy tale who could provide for their life by creating comfortable living conditions. This image is promoted in every possible way in fashion magazines, public pages, television programs, TV series and films.