Achieving emotional balance is very different from physical or mental balance. Human emotions, especially sadness, pain, depression and anxiety, tend to appear suddenly and uninvited. Sometimes you may get the impression that “everything is going wrong” and nothing can be changed at all. This only complicates the process of how to “get out of the vicious circle.”
Everyone evaluates these emotions (especially sadness) differently and may feel them especially strongly at certain periods of life. But if situations such as breakups, the loss of a friend or loved one, a feeling of failure or even homesickness happen regularly, you can’t help but wonder how you can avoid being sad.
There are 3 things to remember when you feel...
that everything is going wrong
There is a time for everything
Just like the seasons in nature, people also experience “seasons” in life. Some seasons can feel longer than others, especially when it comes to emotions such as sadness, sadness, longing and depression. But just like nature, they have a beginning and a change to another “season”.
It's worth taking a moment to reflect on the last five years. Chances are, everyone has had their ups and downs, and perhaps one particular year stood out more than others. At that particular moment, event, or even year, it may have been difficult to see the “light at the end of the tunnel.”
It is worth believing that even when everything seems to be going wrong, there are cycles in life. And these periods are also meant for the mental, physical and spiritual growth of a person.
Your scars are symbols of your strength.
Never be ashamed of the scars life has given you. The scar means that there is no more pain and the wound has healed. This means that you have overcome the pain, learned a lesson, become stronger and have advanced. The scar is a tattoo of triumph. Don't let your scars hold you hostage. Don't let them make you live in fear. You can't make scars disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You may begin to view your scars as a sign of strength.
Ryumi once said: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. From suffering came the strongest souls; The most powerful people in this big world are marked with scars. Look at your scars as a slogan: “YES! I DID IT! I survived and I have the scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to become even stronger.”
Domino effect
Other times in life it will seem like everything is falling apart like a series of dominoes. But it's worth thinking about, maybe the Universe wants to make room for something else, and no one knows what will fill this space.
Everyone is the director and scriptwriter of their own life, so you should just try to perceive everything differently.
The unknown can be exciting, but it can also create anxiety and uncertainty. In any case, this is not the end, but a “reset button” for what comes next. This is the cleansing that the person needs, as well as a reminder that they may need to change their perceptions.
The best thing you can do is keep moving.
Don't be afraid to get angry. Don't be afraid to love again. Don't let the cracks in your heart turn into scars. Understand that strength increases every day. Understand that courage is beautiful. Find in your heart what makes others smile. Remember that you don't need many people in your life, so don't strive to have more "friends." Be strong when things get tough. Remember that the universe always does what is right. Admit when you are wrong and learn from it. Always look back and see what you have achieved and be proud of yourself. Don't change for anyone if you don't want to. Do more. Write stories. Take photos. Be aware of the moments and ways in which your loved ones look at you.
Just keep being YOU. Keep growing. Keep moving.
Based on materials from muz4in.net
Find pleasure in what you have
It's time to put an end to the single-minded pursuit of happiness and focus on what is right now and what brings you joy. Everyone copes with sadness in different ways - by working out, painting, dancing, hanging out with friends or spending time with family.
You just have to find what makes someone happy. This is individual for everyone, so it is impossible to give uniform advice. You should find a few things that bring mental, physical and, most importantly, emotional balance.
How to do it?
Pain is part of growth.
Sometimes life closes doors because it's time to move. And this is good, because we often do not start moving unless circumstances force us. When times get tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurts you, but never forget the lesson it teaches you. Just because you are struggling doesn't mean you are failing. Every great success requires a worthy struggle to be present. Good things take time. Stay patient and confident. Everything will be alright. Most likely not in a moment, but eventually everything will be...
Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. As you go through life, instead of resisting it, let it help you grow.
Start journaling for 5 minutes a day
It doesn't matter if someone likes to write or not, they should try keeping a journal, spending 5 minutes a day and writing down everything that they are grateful for in life during that day. Of course, it may seem tedious at first, but it's just 5 minutes that you can carve out instead of mindlessly scrolling through your social media feed or watching TV. Such a simple technique can help change emotions.
Many successful entrepreneurs start their day with gratitude. By simply listing simple things that a person appreciates on a daily basis, he will begin to notice other things that he has to be grateful for throughout the day. Here are some tips to get you started:
– who made you smile in the last 24 hours, and why this person brought positive emotions;
– was there a special song on the radio that reminded you of a fun time in your life;
– think about what you ate for breakfast and how it gave you energy for the whole day;
Once a person begins to notice little things for which to be grateful, it begins to become a natural habit, which then begins to automatically improve all emotions.
Find someone to talk to about a general topic
Having support is great, but there is always someone you can connect with on a deeper, more personal level.
Each person's circumstances and situations are different, and although everyone usually believes that they are the only person who can feel a certain way about something, it is a good idea to talk to other people who might also feel the same way.
Breakups happen for a number of different reasons, but the feeling of grief for the person and the relationship exists almost every time.
Life is not meant to be lived alone, but in the company of others.
How it happens
A common symptom is dissatisfaction with life. With what we have. By what is happening. Often poor mood and health. Anxiety, irritability, depression, poor sleep. The worst option is when a person takes on something, but does not complete it.
Or he just can't do it. It's like someone is plotting. It gets in the way. Puts a spoke in the wheels. Then the person says: “I’m unlucky. I am a loser!".
The second option: something seems to be working out, but somehow it’s crooked or something. Half, with imperfections. With flaws. Then all this stretches out for many months or years. Sometimes there are problems, sometimes something is wrong. And a person always remains dissatisfied with the state of his affairs and with himself. Or even life in general.
Third option: everything seems to be working out. And even as it should! But neither the process nor the result brings joy. A person is tormented by vague and obvious sensations that “everything is going wrong.”
However, with any of the three options, a person often experiences disappointment. He is in constant doubt. He wants to change everything, but doesn't know what. Many people, driven by emotions, in the heat of the moment and out of despair, do rash and thoughtless things. They quit their jobs without finding a new one.
Or, for example, they get divorced, cheat, leave for someone else. But they are wrong. They leave for another city or country. But not very successful. They quit their old job and find a new one. And again unsuccessfully. They begin to explore the dark worlds of drugs and alcohol. Or they fall into the clutches of other addictions. This is already a completely sad chord.
It’s just that you can’t escape from yourself. Some people just give up. Some return to the original and simply live out of habit. Others continue to struggle, but the result is zero. Or it gets worse.
So what's the deal?
3 main reasons why
why is everything askew
- Wrong chosen path in life
Or living outside of your purpose. When a person lives contrary to his inclinations and natural gifts. Forgetting about your interests, about your needs. Obviously, this is like someone else's life. That’s why everything falls out of hand and little happens. The person is unsuccessful and dissatisfied with himself and life.
Often such feelings arise even when a person is outwardly quite successful. Achieved a lot. But he is dissatisfied with all this. There is emptiness and dissatisfaction inside.
It seems to him that everything he has achieved, everything he has done is not what is really needed.
And it all starts in childhood. Quite simple and banal. When parents, with good intentions or due to their own pathological inclinations, deprive the child of internal and external independence. Or, on the contrary, they indulge him in everything. Or they don’t care about the child at all. In any case, they make him out to be a neurotic. Then he forgets his inner voice.
Stops relying on himself, but follows the instructions of external authorities. At the same time, by the way, he may think that he is completely free and autonomous in his actions. But this is an illusion. And she is often accompanied by neurosis.
Then youth. Choosing the wrong institute, the wrong specialty and profession. They often go where their parents say. Or following the trends of modern trends and fashion.
Many people make mistakes when choosing a life partner. They choose according to direct prompts from loved ones, often parents. Or according to social stereotypes and behavior patterns. That is, again, relying on someone else's opinion.
This is not the way for you. Here's someone else's life.
- Perfectionism and procrastination
It is quite clear that if you try to bring all your undertakings to the ideal, then soon you will not succeed. This applies to both the sphere of relationships and work, career, business and hobbies. It's simple. The perfectionist deep down fears that he will not be able to complete the task.
That is, to do everything perfectly. This fear of failure is what prevents you from moving forward and succeeding. If a perfectionist tries to finish what he started, he is always dissatisfied with the result. And he always thinks that he is a failure, that nothing will work out for him. This is where things start to get out of hand.
Procrastination is usually the flip side of perfectionism. And also the result of low self-esteem, natural laziness, lack of self-confidence, low motivation, fear of success and achievements.
A procrastinator constantly puts off tasks, problem solving, life decisions and choices. Naturally, he doesn’t succeed in anything in life or only half succeeds.
- Internal conflicts
This is a confrontation within a person of two or more contradictory attitudes, thoughts, feelings, desires and aspirations. Such internal confusion and confusion.
However, there is also confusion in life. When it is not entirely clear what is right. And what not. What is good and what is bad.
Most often this brings great suffering. So strong that it can lead to neuroses and other psychological problems. What happiness and success there is here.
It is worse if such internal conflict is not realized.
A classic example of an internal conflict: “between” I need and “I want”, between what is “forbidden” and what I really want.
Or this example. Difficult experiences during crisis periods of life: between the life you dream about and everyday reality, with its stubborn laws and principles.
A more down-to-earth example. A person has the option to move to another job. They pay more there. There are more prospects there. But the old one has a good team, a calm and familiar atmosphere. So much for the conflict between old and new.
Another example. The girl has a tense relationship with her mother. Mom constantly controls her, constantly sticks her nose into her affairs and personal life. The girl is patient. Her internal conflict unfolds between the rule of respect for the authority of parents and adults (you can’t contradict your mother and swear at her). This is on the one hand. With her other inner nature, aimed at development and freedom.
The life of those who have such conflicts pulsating inside them can hardly be called happy. As a rule, it is also filled with contradictions and conflicts.
Many of my clients say that this is: unsuitable, strange life, life, strange people, wrong job, wrong friends... in general, everything is wrong.
Inside a conflicted person, there seems to be a Saboteur. He is also the Inner Critic at the same time. Another self, so to speak. It is this same Saboteur who puts a spoke in the wheels of a person’s life and success. All the time prevents him from finishing what he started.
The question clearly arises:
If
Change your perception
Consider a situation where a loved one dies. It is difficult to convey this despair and gradual immersion in the abyss of emotions from which it is difficult to return.
You need to understand right away that there is no end to this abyss, and a person must stop himself from falling into it, and find the willpower to get out of the abyss of despair.
Changing your perception changes the whole situation.
Here are examples of questions that will help switch your current perception of the situation to more positive thoughts and ideas:
– what can be learned from this situation, and why it happened now; – how you can help others with what someone is experiencing; – to be negative – whether it helps someone or the person himself.
It's worth keeping in mind that denial and sadness are two completely different emotions. Being sad is natural, and sometimes you have to experience these emotions; but denial sometimes stems from uncontrollable sadness.
Put yourself first
You need to put yourself first, especially in the most difficult times. Everyone is different, and there is no easy, simple solution to sadness.
If it helps, you can surround yourself with people, whether it's for distraction or to have someone to empathize with. For others, turning off the phone for half a day and disconnecting from the world may help. If someone prefers to be alone to release any pent-up emotions, or simply to be in complete silence and solitude, they need to allow themselves to do so.
Once a person comes to his senses and begins to put himself first, he will begin to appear again in other areas of life.
Receive compassion and give it to yourself
Compassion is not always a skill that is given by birth, sometimes it is a skill that is learned. However, there are some areas in life that no person can truly and fully understand unless they go through it themselves. In most cases, this can be an understanding of any traumatic experience.
Sadness and sadness are healthy human emotions that are experienced by everyone. It is always better to seek help from loved ones, especially those with whom you have a special connection.
By taking some time to show compassion for other people and their sadness, you can feel more connected to that particular person, even if you haven't experienced the event that makes them sad. In turn, compassion also always comes back.
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