Being an empath - a curse or a gift from above: the pros and cons of high sensitivity

How to recognize an empath? How do empaths feel? How is their life going? What does the presence of empathy give and what is its nature?

Empaths (see the link for the definition from Wikipedia) are quite difficult to define. Today we will talk about the main traits of empathic people and provide interesting information about their psyche.

Most people are more or less capable of empathizing with others. However, only a few can be considered true empaths. By reading the following list of characteristics of empathic people, you can quickly determine whether you are one of them or not.

Who are empaths?

An empathic person is one who is greatly influenced by the feelings, emotions, actions and thoughts of others. Empaths have an innate ability to deeply understand the people they encounter.

In a sense, they - consciously or unconsciously - are able to tune into the frequencies of other people and deeply understand them on an emotional level. This is the gift of empaths. But it is he who can cause great difficulties for them.

“When you absorb other people’s emotions like a sponge, don’t be surprised if you feel drained.”

Poison Ivy

This is especially true when the empathetic person is not aware of their innate abilities at all and/or is surrounded by highly toxic and manipulative people.

Definition of empathy

Empathy, in simple words, is the ability of a person to put himself in the shoes of another person. Therefore, an empath is a person who is able to empathize with others.

How to develop empathy?

Having thoroughly understood what empathy is, we can conclude that it is a very useful skill. It is really worth developing in order to improve your relationships with others. There are several universal tips that will help anyone develop empathy, even if they have little or no natural ability to do so.

Expand your social circle

Over the years, it becomes more difficult for us to let new people into our lives, especially if they are very different from us. You need to fight this conservatism and interact more often with people outside your social circle. Are you scared by numerous tattoos, piercings, unusual hairstyles and strange clothes? Try to communicate with such a person, and it is likely that you will get rid of some of your prejudices, and at the same time your level of empathy will increase. Communicate with “other” people and learn to see the world through their eyes. This is a very powerful exercise that will teach you to better understand other people's motives, goals and emotions.

Learn to listen

Listening is one of the main skills of empaths, as they notice how people's moods change when they are allowed to talk. Learn to listen and force yourself to do it constantly. Every time you communicate, pay attention to whether you are listening to your interlocutor or simply trying to tell more on your own without really listening to his remarks. Listening is an important part of being empathetic.

To become a good conversationalist, do five simple exercises:

1. Focus on the topic of conversation. During communication, we often “have our heads in the clouds,” thinking about work or family problems. Try to avoid this by delving into the topic you're talking about. Listen to the other person and respond thoughtfully.
2. Don't interrupt. Always let your interlocutor complete the phrase, even if it seems to you that you have already grasped his thought and are ready to answer.
3. Periodically summarize what has been said. When the interlocutor completes the thought, paraphrase it briefly and clarify whether you understood everything correctly. This will develop in you the habit of listening more carefully, analyzing in detail the meaning of what is said. The interlocutor will be pleased that you listen carefully and attach meaning to his words.
4. Ask clarifying questions. This exercise, like the previous one, will teach you to listen more carefully to your interlocutor, and will show him that you are interested in his thoughts.
5. Take breaks. There is no need to start speaking immediately after the other person finishes speaking. A pause of one or two seconds will allow you to better formulate your thought, and the interlocutor will be able to add something to what was said without interrupting you. In addition, people who endure such pauses are usually considered very adequate and reasonable.

Active listening is not only a great exercise for developing empathy, but also a valuable social skill. Each interlocutor will have a positive impression after communicating with you, because all people love to be listened to carefully.

Read works of fiction

Even knowing full well that the characters in the novel are fictional, we still sympathize with them. At the same time, most works of fiction are written in such a way as to focus the reader’s attention on the experiences of the main characters. The authors strive to convey the character’s emotions as much as possible, to show his development taking into account his experience. Thanks to this, empathy can awaken even in a person who in ordinary life is deprived of this ability. There are studies showing that classic fiction is much better at developing empathy than modern fiction.

Communicate in stressful situations

It is known that stressful situations contribute to the rapid and strong emotional rapprochement of people (take this into account when planning your next date). In this regard, empathy in a state of stress manifests itself much more strongly. Of course, stress means any exciting situation that provokes the release of adrenaline. Active games, sports, even regular video games, if there is enough excitement in them, make people more open emotionally. And this is a great opportunity to practice empathy.

Tips for Empaths

If the characteristics mentioned above apply to you, it is very likely that you are an empath. But how can empaths protect themselves from the emotions of those around them?

Here's what you can do to balance yourself:

• Have the courage to express your opinions clearly;
• Don't let others mistreat you or trample on you;
• Don't make excuses for other people's bad behavior;
• Ground yourself, meditate;
• Get out into nature as often as you can;
• Regularly spend time alone;
• Learn to drive other people's emotions away from you;
• Have the courage to say no.

Empathy: gift or punishment?

Joy, as a rule, does not “catch” the empath’s attention, because it does not evoke the need for a life preserver. And that is why empathy has its pitfalls.

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Empathy can be innate (which is extremely rare), or it awakens independently and evolves along with a person’s constantly increasing life experience.

One way or another, every person has empathic abilities, although often he does not even suspect it, but these abilities manifest themselves to varying degrees.

In this article we will talk about what levels of development of empathy exist, learn about its gifts and pitfalls.

"Pitfalls" of empathy

1. Unconscious empathy

This is a difficult test psychologically and energetically. Without realizing their ability, beginning empaths often accept other people's emotions, feelings, even the physical pain of other people as their own.

They are unable to keep the necessary distance, which is fraught with sudden mood swings, insomnia or nightmares, and depression.

Difficulty distinguishing one's own experiences and emotions from the experiences and emotions of other people

Even when you recognize that you are an empath, it is often difficult to determine whether the emotions you are experiencing are actually yours. What can we say about those for whom this happens unconsciously!

It is especially difficult for those who, out of great empathy for other people’s illnesses, are able to adopt their physical symptoms: body pain, symptoms of colds and even infectious diseases.

Difficulties in building friendships and love relationships

Because of their ability to “read people,” empaths can build relationships only on the principles of absolute openness, sincerity and trust. This is why empaths don't like casual dating/relationships.

They want to see next to them only someone whom they can trust blindly, on whom they can completely rely.

These people cannot be forced to do what they consider unacceptable; they constantly strive for the truth, the search for answers and knowledge. The inability to fake happiness is what makes relationships with empaths very special.

Inability to “turn off” empathy

Once you develop such sensitivity in yourself, it is impossible to return to your previous state.

Socrates also said: “The path to wisdom and happiness lies through self-knowledge.” And if you have taken this path, no matter what, it’s time to learn about the gifts that empathy can bestow on you.

How to learn to protect yourself from other people's emotions?

1. Always have a place and time for privacy . Solitude is the best way for an empath to relieve stress.
2. Introduce daily self-care rituals : a cup of tea with your favorite book, a relaxing face mask, even watching any TV program. In your life there should be a moment of relaxation and pleasure every day, alone with yourself and away from the rest of the world.
3. Analyze your feelings . How often do you feel “just in a bad mood”? In our country, this is traditionally often blamed on bad weather, lack of sun, snow, a prolonged winter, the climate in general, the government, housing and communal services and bad roads... But if you think about it, a telephone conversation, for example, is often to blame. A friend called and told me what a jerk my husband is. And even if your husband is the best, you felt bad. If it is not possible to limit your communication with such people, realize that you cannot solve their problems.
4. This point follows from the previous one: maybe it’s time to stop communicating with that friend? Avoiding contact with narcissists, energy vampires, and negative people is especially important for empaths.
5. Limit time on “Let Them Talk” and similar content . Search engines work in such a way that if you once became interested in the fate of a person crushed and crucified by the hatred of his own family (as an example), similar stories will regularly appear in your feed. There is no need to waste your emotions on television, movies, news programs and social networks. You will not be able to influence the virtual characters that are sometimes presented, and the stress can be quite real.

The last stage: positive attitude

Empaths - what does this gift give? Naturally, not only the experience of someone else’s negativity:

1. Concentrate on the bright, good feelings of your loved ones. Rejoice for them and with them.
2. The next stage is to learn to see the positive even in a random passerby. This will help a sensitive person like you quickly regain his good mood.
3. Create positivity yourself - make small surprises for your loved ones, show concern. Their joy will become your joy.
4. Do what you like, without regard to age, prejudice, or sidelong glances.
5. Try to surround yourself with bright, positive, understanding people. Don't hesitate to contact them for support.
6. Try to avoid situations that greatly depress you as often as possible.
7. Empaths - who are they? Of course, people who are inclined to creativity. Be creative - from writing your own book to designing your own clothing style. Creativity will clear the clouds over your head.
8. Turn your sympathy and empathy into active activity. Help homeless animal shelters, organize a party for children from a boarding school, or simply buy a hot lunch for a homeless person.
9. Direct your compassion towards yourself. Learn to feel sorry for yourself. Of course, within reasonable limits.
10. And last but not least, accept and love your uniqueness.

Are you an empath? How to live with this? This is an amazing, but at the same time, difficult gift - after all, such a person hears not only happiness, but also all the pain of this world. Moreover, he passes it through himself. Therefore, an empath must constantly work on himself, not allowing other people's feelings to make his life unbearable.

Test yourself! 15 signs that you are an empath!

Do you perceive other people very closely, as if they were your own? Perhaps your empathy has awakened! Find out how to check it!

What is empathy and how does it arise?

Empathy (compassion)¹ is the ability to subtly feel the emotions of another as one’s own. People who can do this are called empaths. An empath is someone who senses the emotions and feelings of others. Sometimes empathy is accompanied by the ability to see auras.

People naturally acquire this ability in two cases:

1. They are born empaths.

2. This gift awakens independently during growing up and socialization.

Empathy is a great gift if you know how to use it correctly. Not all empaths are able to control the ability consciously - in most cases it happens unconsciously.

Many people sometimes “catch” other people’s feelings. In most cases, the gift of empathy is not recognized: the logical mind explains such manifestations as ordinary psychology or spontaneous NLP².

Signs of having a superpower

If something similar happened in your life, and you suddenly felt emotions that were unusual for yourself, it is quite possible that it was a feeling received from another person - this is how empathy manifests itself!
Until you learn to manage and control this, you will absorb other people's emotions and experience them as your own.

There are several signs that a person is an empath:

1. Empaths sense suffering in the world on a large scale and want to do something to help the world.

2. They find it difficult to look at other people's pain because it feels like their own.

3. People with this ability have a hard time watching disturbing news: they feel all the suffering and then cannot come to their senses for a very long time.

For example, it is enough to watch a news report about a disaster or some kind of catastrophe anywhere in the world, and such a person can feel pain (psychological and sometimes physical) from this event.

4. Empaths have difficulty finding themselves and being fully aware of their own feelings.

For example, when talking to another person, people with the gift of empathy sense his emotions and feelings. Often, they know the answers to their life's questions, but at the same time do not find the answer to their own.

5. Often empathy can make a person shy because he knows very well how the other feels and what he wants.

6. If a person does not know how to manage his ability, he may lose his critical perception. Such people always say “yes” to all requests and demands, without thinking about whether they need it or whether they really want it.

An empath is so immersed in the other person's experience, knowing what they need, that they cannot say no. And only then does he realize that he did not think about himself and his desires.

7. People with empathy help others at their own expense.

8. Empaths love from a distance as if their loved one were nearby.

9. They feel a deep intimacy with nature, animals and plants.

Such people are able to feel not only people, but also animals, for example, when they meet a dog or cat on the street.

10. An empath feels responsible for how other people feel and tries to help them feel better.

11. Such people are very sensitive: relationships and friendships can be taken too close to the heart.

12. Because of empathy and the inability to manage it, they often become an outlet for other people to dump their emotions on them.

13. While reading a book or watching a movie, an empath experiences events very emotionally and almost completely identifies with the characters.

14. Due to constant stress, people with this gift forget what it means to have fun and enjoy life.

15. Empaths, as a rule, are deeply spiritual people: the gift of empathy allows you to feel the unity of all existence.

If you relate to many of the above signs, this means that the ability to empathize lives within you!

Answer the following questions:

• Can you control this gift?
• Do you know how to separate your own and other people's experiences?
• Are you able to manage your gift, “turning on” it only when you need it?

If you answered yes, it means that you have learned to control your gift of empathy; If you answered “no,” then you need to learn to manage empathy.

In this case, I recommend taking an exciting online training at the School of Psycho-Informational Abilities! Without leaving home, in just 12 simple but powerful interactive lessons, you will develop powerful intuition in practice, discover the gift of foresight (clairvoyance), direct connection with the unified world information field and many other secret abilities.

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In the notes to this article there is a link to useful material on developing control over empathy.

Notes and feature articles for deeper understanding of the material

¹ Empathy is conscious empathy for the current emotional state of another person without losing the sense of the external origin of this experience (Wikipedia).

² Find out about methods of influence using NLP in the article: “How to influence a person using NLP?”

Categories : Empathy

Tags : development of superpowers, ability to feel people

Stage 3: creating your space

You also have the right to be listened to, not burdened with the troubles of others. The following steps need to be taken to achieve this:

1. The very first step is to learn to be independent and independent in everything. Start by buying groceries or new clothes without waiting for anyone's advice, approval, or criticism.
2. The next stage is to learn to rely only on yourself in difficult situations.
3. Start arranging your own corner - a place where no one will disturb you. This could be a cozy bench in the park, a secluded lawn, or even your own country house. Nothing else like nature will help quickly restore mental strength to a sensitive empath.
4. Don't sit in public spaces where you feel uncomfortable or uncomfortable.
5. World spiritual practice - breathing exercises, yoga - will help you consolidate the result. Learn to visualize your negative emotions (fog, stones, dark colors), and then mentally break them down and disperse them.