The presence of social interaction, that is, relationships in a team, is one of the most important elements in maintaining a person’s mental health. Well, people, apart from rare exceptions, cannot live without society. Just remember Daniel Defoe’s hero, the famous Robinson Crusoe, who immediately perked up when he met Friday. This desire for communication is also noticeable in the office jungle. It’s not for nothing that the question “How’s the team?” is one of the first questions asked of someone who has just gotten a job, and what is meant is not the professional level of new colleagues, but their personal qualities and characteristics. When should relationships between colleagues be purely formal, and can an informal style of doing business harm work? This will be discussed further.
What is interpersonal relationships
Interpersonal relationships are relationships that arise directly between individuals (two people or in a group) in the process of communication and cooperation with each other. Their distinctive features: reciprocity, direct contact. The success of interpersonal relationships depends on three components:
- Understanding. A person immediately finds a “common language” with some people, but cannot understand others. Mutual understanding is achieved when there are common views on life, goals, interests, and similarities in character. In addition, the desire to understand the other must be mutual, both interlocutors must show interest in communication;
- Interaction is the ability to carry out joint activities and combine efforts to achieve the expected result. If the goals of the participants in the relationship differ, there can be no talk of interaction. Only the presence of a common goal and objectives can unite the disparate activities of people;
- Mutual perception is people's assessment of each other's physical characteristics and mental abilities. In the process of learning the external characteristics and character traits of the interlocutor, a person develops a response to this person.
Example. 7-b has a new biology teacher. The teacher and the class immediately established a good relationship. He organized the activities in the lessons in such an interesting way that all the students began to happily do their homework, although they had not done this before.
Interpersonal relationships can arise between people according to their personal desire or under the influence of external factors.
In the first case, it will be much easier to achieve mutual understanding, since the desire to communicate was joint, the commonality of interests attracted people to each other. In the second, conflicts and disagreements may arise between participants in interpersonal relationships, since they were united by someone’s will, a decision that they need to cooperate.
Example. The school class is formed by the school administration, and not as a result of the personal wishes of the students. Not all classmates in the class will become friends with each other; some may have conflicts due to mutual rejection.
Mutual benefit
Any production is formed to obtain material benefits. Exceptions include social enterprises. But one way or another, any activity is aimed at achieving a certain result, as a result of which production can be considered effective. For this purpose, external and internal motivation of personnel is combined.
In addition, the attitude of employees towards work is influenced by material interest, but is not decisive. Many managers consider this type of motivation of subordinates to be the main one, overestimating its influence. Studies have shown that such an incentive system works only in the initial stages, but has no impact in the future. However, everyone knows that forms of work used for a long time are very difficult to abandon.
According to the proven scheme, material incentives for lower-level employees are directly proportional to the employee’s attitude towards work: the better the result, the higher the salary and bonuses.
There is a different approach to management personnel: the higher the profit of an enterprise or organization, the greater the bonuses and other motivating additional payments.
Sympathy and antipathy
The basis for interpersonal relationships is the feeling of sympathy and antipathy. Sympathy is a feeling of disposition towards a person, a positive assessment of his moral qualities, appearance, and character traits. Sympathy brings people closer to each other and creates ideal opportunities for successful cooperation. The manifestation of sympathy is expressed in a friendly disposition towards a person, an expression of interest, and benevolence.
Sympathy arises naturally and spontaneously, often due to a coincidence of views and interests. It is impossible to force a person to feel sympathy or antipathy for another. Therefore, sympathy must be mutual for successful interaction.
Antipathy towards a person manifests itself as a feeling of rejection, internal dissatisfaction with the behavior and appearance of another. Such a person can cause unreasonable irritation simply by his presence and cause bad emotions. Antipathy is a fertile basis for interpersonal conflicts, disagreements, and rivalry.
The reasons for antipathy may be unclear even to the person experiencing this feeling. Sometimes, it arises as a reaction to the dissimilarity of another, his fundamental differences from the rest of society, and may be associated with established stereotypes. Stereotypes are an opinion established in society about representatives of a particular group, which is often erroneous and exaggerated.
Examples of stereotypes: all girls are stupid, boys should not cry, a woman driving is worse than a nuclear weapon, all rich people are greedy.
Thus, even without really knowing a person, a preconceived opinion and antipathy may be formed towards him in advance.
Reinforcement method
The name of this method is borrowed from the direction of animal psychology, which studies the reactions of animals in response to targeted influence. The similarity between the reactions of our smaller friends and humans was noticed by American trainer Karen Pryor while working with dolphins. These amazing marine mammals responded to reinforcement of the slightest changes in behavior that approached the desired behavior. The result is a cascade of complex tricks.
The same method is used by talented directors or conductors, who note the smallest nuances of performance and reinforce them with approving phrases or even a simple nod of the head. But in the end the orchestra sounds amazing, and the acting becomes brilliant.
In short, reinforcement is an action that occurs while a desirable (undesirable) event is occurring or immediately after it. As we already know, motivation can be both positive and negative.
The temporary combination of action and reinforcement is the whole essence of the process, which is called behavior modification. Can this be considered manipulation? Then another question arises: how should the system of fines and bonuses be perceived? In this context, it is a manipulation extended over time.
One of the effective methods practiced in companies by managers of the new formation can be considered the “joker”. Its essence is to organize a surprise for employees, which can happen any day. At a certain point, the head of an enterprise or company announces a stop to all work processes and invites all specialists to an unexpected buffet, which can be supplemented with musical accompaniment and performances by invited artists. Practice shows that surprises of this kind significantly improve the microclimate at the enterprise, as well as labor productivity.
Be that as it may, when forming a strategy for motivating employees, several components should be taken into account:
- First of all, an objective assessment of the specialist’s attitude towards the work.
- Then his individual character traits, identified during testing.
- Selection of motivation options that suit the employee.
- It is important to determine the degree of satisfaction of an employee with an assessment of his contribution to the common cause.
As for the list of possible incentive options, it includes both standard ones, which have been used for many years in different types of enterprises, and exclusive ones, the implementation of which has just begun to be practiced.
Informal relationships
Interpersonal relationships may differ in the presence or absence of certain rules of communication and interaction. In this regard, the following types of interpersonal relationships are distinguished: informal (personal) and formal (office).
Informal relationships develop synchronously, based on feelings of sympathy, kinship, and mutual disposition. Such relationships are regulated by the participants themselves, without submitting to any rules established from outside. Informal relationships include relationships between friends, relatives, acquaintances, and classmates.
Example. Friends decide for themselves when and what time to go for a walk; a friend will not punish his friend for being late for a meeting. Communication between them occurs on equal terms; there are no strictly established rules of interpersonal interaction.
Informal relationships develop of the participants' own will; they are highly selective, carefully studying the personal qualities of the individual. This is not in vain, because such relationships are the closest, and you need to know a person well before becoming friends with him, trusting him.
Also, informal relationships can be interrupted by mutual desire, or even by the will of one of the participants. Often friends stop communicating because of hurt feelings, unjustified hopes, and expectations. Often, these are temporary disagreements, followed by reconciliation, but sometimes friends part for life.
Pros of formality
There are 2 points of view here, and I will say right away that the advantages of formality for a person who treats everything formally will be disadvantages for a person who is “with the team.”
For a person who treats everything formally, this is sometimes the only way out of the situation in order to stay at work and not be a black sheep.
But for a person who is “with the team” this is a disaster. They see formality in a nightmare - how is it possible, where did those friendly relations in the team go? I need to leave, but where? They grab their heads and begin to panic, but there is no one to support them, the team has left.
Let me note that a person who needs support is a weak and dependent person.
If part of the team or the entire team tries to hide the formality, then it is all in vain. It is visible almost in the palm of your hand:
- it is tangible, everyone feels it;
- it is noticeable, sometimes just openly;
- there's no hiding it.
But if you look from the outside, such a team looks friendly and everything seems to be good, sometimes even perfect.
Friendship, camaraderie
For every person, reliable friends are of great value. There are many sayings, proverbs, and fairy tales on the topic of the importance of friendship in human life. There may be many friends, acquaintances, comrades, but only a select few become friends.
Friendship is a selfless interpersonal relationship based on sympathy, affection, common views on life and goals. The following qualities distinguish true friends from acquaintances:
- The ability and desire to come to the rescue in difficult times;
- The ability to keep secrets (this is how trust is established);
- Lack of envy, a feeling of joy in the event of sudden luck, happiness befalling a friend;
- Empathy, interest in a friend’s life, his well-being;
- True to your word.
To find a true friend, you yourself need to try to possess the above qualities, because friends are chosen based on their common interests, character, and perception of the world.
Partnership is mutual assistance, respect and goodwill between the participants in the relationship. Comrades do not communicate as closely and confidentially as friends, but their relationships are also built on sympathy and common interests. Most often, they become comrades by engaging in common activities: study, work, progress towards a common goal.
Example. There are 25 students in 6-a. The whole class has good relationships and there are no conflicts. All classmates are friends with each other, but everyone in the class has only 1-2 real friends.
Formal relations
Formal relationships are official interpersonal relationships that are subject to certain rules established from the outside. They are subject to a certain order of interaction, where each participant in the relationship has his own role. Official (formal) relationships include relationships between: an officer and soldiers, a student and a teacher, a foreman and a worker, a restaurant administrator and a waiter, a director and a secretary.
Examples of formal relationships
| Sphere of relationships, participants | Accepted rules | Punishment for breaking the rules |
| Army (participants in relationships, employees of higher and lower ranks) | Lower ranks must obey the orders of their superiors, military personnel must adhere to the rules of the military regulations. | Emergency duty, departure to the guardhouse. If failure to comply with an order caused significant harm to the interests of the service, criminal liability is established for it. |
| School (teachers, students) | Students are required to come to class on time, do homework, wear a school uniform, and adhere to disciplinary rules. | Teachers have the right to punish students with bad grades, unsatisfactory behavior, and calling parents to school. |
| Store (seller-buyer) | Each product must indicate the price and expiration date. Buyers must pay in full for the purchased goods. | If the product turns out to be expired, the buyer has the right to return it to the store. If a seller deceives their customers, they are subject to a fine, and in some cases, criminal liability. A fine or criminal liability awaits the buyer who decides not to pay for the goods. |
Thus, all interpersonal relationships, the rules of which are documented, are considered formal.
Relations of production
One type of formal interpersonal relationship is industrial relations. They are regulated by the labor code - a list of laws establishing the rights and obligations of the employee and employer. Thus, the employee is assigned the following responsibilities:
- Arrive at your workplace on time;
- Perform official duties;
- Observe safety precautions at work;
- Work according to a schedule, at strictly allotted times (standard working day is 8 hours).
The director has the right to punish a worker for failure to comply with rules, duties, and job descriptions. The first time he may limit himself to a verbal warning, the next time a fine, reprimand, or dismissal from work will follow.
At the same time, in addition to the duties, the employee has certain rights:
- For timely payment of wages;
- Providing regular leave;
- Providing sick leave;
- Receiving bonuses for hard work and exceeding production standards.
Industrial relations are regulated on the basis of law; the main document of an employee is his work book.
Diagnosis – crisis of informality
There are a number of symptoms that indicate that a business is experiencing a crisis of informality:
- uncontrollability . At the very beginning, all tasks to subordinates come from the director. But as the number of subordinates grows, the manager is unable to remember the scope of responsibility of each individual employee. Ultimately, real confusion begins - duplicate and even mutually exclusive orders appear.
- lack of time . Performers do not have time to complete the work on time. Emergency situations are becoming the norm, and many employees have to spend their days in office dungeons around the clock.
— reduction in the efficiency of financial management . Money goes away like water. At the same time, there is an increase in profits, but there are not enough funds for specific projects and tasks.
— increasing the level of conflict . Since employees do not have time to cope with the accumulating volumes of work, the company's staff is growing and expanding. More professional specialists come to the company than those who have been working since the very foundation of the company. Gradually, the state of affairs acquires the state of a “cold war” between the “old guys” and the new employees. The psychological climate worsens, and everyone stops working.
International experience. The head of BKG, Mark Fedin, a former military man, notes that his experience in the Navy helped him formalize relationships in the company properly. When Fedin joined the company, there were only 15 people, and an informal work style was adopted - everyone did everything. When the number of employees began to grow, the situation gradually began to get out of control. For example, during negotiations with potential clients, several consultants participated simultaneously, as a result, clients did not understand who they should contact to resolve issues. As a result, it was decided to delineate job responsibilities.
Basic rules of communication
Interpersonal relationships are regulated by the rules of etiquette, morality and ethics. Etiquette prescribes norms of behavior in society, including in the process of interpersonal interaction and communication.
The rules of communication culture are taught from early childhood. This is necessary to create mutual respect and favorable attitudes in society. General rules of communication include: expressing greetings to people you know, a friendly, quiet timbre of voice, respectful attitude towards the interlocutor (you cannot interrupt him, you must give him the opportunity to speak).
The rules for communicating with peers are different from communicating with older people. You can address people of equal age and familiarity with “You.” It is customary to address seniors, higher ranks, and strangers as “You.”
