We have all had to deal with lies in our lives. There are often cases when a person feels that he is a liar, but cannot explain in words why he thinks so. It's all about uncontrolled microfacial expressions, which helps to identify deception. What about the actors? We know that their actions on stage or in films are fictional, but we still get into the plot and live it for real. Why do we trust their game? And how can you tell if a person is lying to you?
Psychology of lies
A liar always understands that he is getting involved in a risky event. Subconsciously, we perceive lying as a crime. And although there is no criminal or administrative liability for everyday lies, the liar is haunted by the fear of exposure. Even if a person doesn’t give a damn about your opinion about him and your attitude towards him, he will in any case subconsciously do two things:
- Try to block the transmission of false information. This can be clearly seen in children's gestures: a child who is lying tries to cover his mouth with his hands.
- Communicate the liar's fear of discovery. A person begins to assess the consequences of exposure when it is inevitable or has already occurred. Until the lie is exposed, even complete impunity in the future will not relieve a person from the fear of being exposed as a lie.
A liar will try to hide his excitement under a mask of false emotions. But the problem is that anxiety has completely physiological forms in the form of increased heart rate, increased sweating, dry mouth - all this is difficult to hide. Another problem is that it is noticeable to others that the emotions are false. A liar can be revealed:
- eyes
- facial expressions
- voice
- speech
- gestures
Let's take a closer look at each point.
Tell me everything first
Ask the liar to repeat his entire story from the beginning. If the story is fictitious, then it will be very difficult for a person to remember all the details that were present in it. You will immediately notice that the person will feel uncomfortable and agitated and will begin to fumble for words.
In most cases, it is very easy to tell when a person is lying to you. Simply because you literally feel it, and also know that this person cannot tell the whole truth one hundred percent. If you begin to more closely observe a person's behavior and movement during a conversation, you will begin to notice much more detail. Initially, you will most likely attribute everything to your “gut”, but you will soon realize that you have become more observant than you previously thought. By following these basic principles, you will not only be able to catch liars with ease, but you will also become more attentive and observant of the people you talk to.
Sight
In the courses at the Benefit studio, teachers pay great attention to the work of the eyes. With the help of facial expressions, and primarily gaze, feedback is achieved during communication. Your gestures and words may look very convincing, but if your gaze expresses a different emotion, the interlocutor will intuitively recognize a lie.
The eyes, as we know, lie first. You can tell from the eyes that a person is lying based on a number of signs.
- Pupil size.
The pupil changes size not only under the influence of light, it also reacts to the attitude towards the words of the interlocutor, more specifically, to agreement and disagreement. If a person agrees with you, his pupils will be wider; if he disagrees, his pupils will be narrower. So, in a nodding person with narrow pupils, it is not difficult to recognize a deceiver. - Visual contact.
A liar either avoids looking you in the eye or, conversely, looks you in the face much more often than the situation requires. In addition, when a person tries to make “honest eyes,” he blinks less often due to tension. - Running glance.
This is the most famous sign of lying. We can add that we instinctively do not trust a person with “shifty eyes,” even if this is his usual manner. - Reaction to the question.
A person who truly remembers something always looks away, down or up, even if it only lasts a second. The fact is that lying always requires additional memory efforts: for example, you need to remember to the smallest detail two versions of events - genuine and fictitious. The person who listened to the question and answered it, without ceasing to look into your eyes, clearly did not remember anything. Maybe because there was nothing to remember.
During the courses at the "Benefit" studio, this block is practiced using special exercises for the development of facial expressions. They improve the mobility and interaction of facial muscles, especially those that we rarely use in everyday life.
The simplest exercises are the usual antics or alternating strong tension of the facial muscles followed by complete relaxation. There are also exercises for the isolated use of a separate group of facial muscles. Logorhythmic acting exercises help develop sign language and facial expression.
Micromimicry
The most honest emotions tend to appear on a person's face for short moments only at the very beginning of a conversation. This could be a half-smile that lasts the first five seconds, or an excited look that lasts about the same amount of time. These microexpressions of emotions are sometimes noticed literally on a subconscious level and allow you to correctly determine whether a person is lying or not. Although you may not even understand how you found out. Many people literally feel in their gut that the person sitting opposite them is lying. Usually this conclusion can be reached by observing microexpressions. As a rule, such expressions of emotions happen very quickly, but if you are attentive, you will definitely be able to notice them.
Voice and speech
The teachers at the Benefis school know many tricks on how to spot a liar. His voice and speech often give him away. A person who tells a lie tries to pronounce words faster so as not to give himself away. It is easier to rehearse a lie in the form of a monologue or a legend, but it is almost impossible to prepare for a dialogue: after all, we do not know what questions the interlocutor may ask.
It is questions that usually confuse liars: they make them hesitate, mumble, get confused in their testimony and say unnecessary things. Therefore, during interrogations of experienced police officers, it is alarming when two or more suspects tell almost verbatim the same story, rehearsed to the smallest detail.
Anyone who has had to attend interrogations as an interrogated person will long remember the feeling of dryness in the throat. It arises from strong excitement and greatly interferes with speaking.
The liar tries with all his might not to give himself away. Excessive efforts are noticeable, for example, an obsessive desire to emphasize the veracity of one’s words, even if no one questions this veracity. He uses characteristic speech patterns: “I swear”, “on my word of honor”, “I bet”, “I wish I could fail in this place.” At the same time, the liar’s voice betrays his excitement and attempt to appear honest. The voice becomes louder, the tone is slightly higher than usual. Often the liar himself notices that his words sounded false, and begins to worry even more: he stumbles, hesitates, stammers, says unnecessary words, which further aggravates his predicament.
Controlling speech is as difficult as controlling your own emotions. The information above alone is not enough to learn how to speak persuasively. You need to constantly train, preferably under the guidance of an experienced teacher. There are many theatrical methods of voice production that the teachers of the Benefit Studio use in their classes:
- Breathing exercises;
- Relaxation exercises;
- Articulation gymnastics;
- Range exercises, etc.
Voice training exercises make speech clearer, louder, more measured, in other words, more convincing.
How to understand that they are lying to us?
Managers lie to their subordinates when they need to avoid panic, parents lie to their children in order to protect them from worries.
On average, in a 10-minute conversation a person manages to lie three times. We can justify lying for the greater good, but sometimes lies are destructive and cause harm to other people. In such cases, the ability to recognize a liar will come in handy. A liar is betrayed by his words, voice, body and facial expressions. We deal with verbal signs of lying based on our experience of communicating with people. You listen to what the other person says, what words they use and how their voice sounds. It is more difficult with non-verbal vocabulary. We will try to figure out the nonverbal signs of lying.
Body language and posture
People who are far from the world of theatrical art are not able to control the non-verbal language of communication and consciously use it. However, gestures contain certain information that we exchange with our interlocutor. We can say that dialogue always takes place at two levels - the level of speech and the level of non-verbal signs. There are gestures with which we can recognize a lie. A strange look, a turn of the head, a movement of the hand is enough - and now we no longer trust the interlocutor or are wary of him, without even understanding the reason for such a reaction.
Theater courses teach how to consciously manage nonverbal cues and micro-reactions. An actor who has mastered such skills is able, at the level of sensations, to instill in his interlocutor the desired information, to evoke certain emotions: trust and sympathy, danger and hostility.
But it's not that simple. Even the best actor is unable to fully control his nonverbal body language. To achieve the desired effect, through an effort of will, he induces in himself a certain emotional state in which the necessary non-verbal signals appear by themselves. This technique underlies the world-famous Stanislavsky System, which is studied and used by actors to create a stage image.
Let's start with the pupils. (Look into my eyes and you will see the truth)
The pupils dilate or contract in certain lighting conditions. It all depends on the mood and brightness of the lighting. If a person is emotionally excited, then his pupils become slightly more dilated than in the same lighting, in a calm state. The same thing happens when a person looks at something he likes. It’s not for nothing that they say “the eyes lit up.” A person with dilated pupils looks the most attractive and mesmerizing. But if the pupils narrow, then aggression, anger and irritation increase in the person.
Body language and posture
At the beginning of the article we mentioned the children's gesture of covering their mouth with their hands. Of course, adults do not do this, but residual reactions are often observed in them too. For example, light touches to the lips or nose - our subconscious is trying to restrain deceptive speech in this way. A characteristic sign: if a person really has an itchy nose, he will scratch it, but if a person makes this gesture while lying, then he touches his face lightly and abruptly, unreasonably. This is also true for other gestures, for example, when hands are placed near the face to cover a yawn, sneeze or cough. Although, some disguise this gesture with a fake cough.
The ability to gesture correctly while delivering a speech makes it more expressive and helps to hold the attention of the public. At the Benefis theater studio, you will learn to notice other people's nonverbal gestures and consciously control your own. To develop flexibility and mobility of the hands, we use various exercises: “Crocodile”, “Painting the fence”, “Assemble in parts”, “Stroke animals” and other pantomimes. Memorized, mechanical movements have never added persuasiveness to anyone. It’s another matter when certain gestures become a habit and fit organically into the arsenal of expressive means.
Looks to the left. Where does a person look when he lies?
When it comes to the art of lying, everyone immediately thinks of women. But if you think about those who lie the most, men come to mind.
What kind of stereotype is this and is there more to it than prejudice?
Why do men lie?
Each of us has our own reasons for lying. It all depends on the situation, the circumstances, and even the worldview of the liar.
The guy lies to make himself seem better than he really is. He may embellish his financial situation or position.
By inventing a story about his cool car, a man will quickly arouse the interest of the opposite sex.
But such tales are told not only to impress the girl, but also for a completely acceptable purpose. Having lied, the guy becomes more confident in his own abilities, and therefore stops stuttering and being nervous during a conversation.
There are liars among both sexes, but it is much more important for men to feel confident in themselves, which is why they have gained fame as liars.
There are many reasons why guys lie. Most often, they want to improve the situation and achieve a certain goal using dishonest methods...
A guy will lie about a meeting at work without telling his girlfriend that he actually spent the evening with friends, watching football and drinking beer.
The reason for lying is simple - not wanting to quarrel or feel guilty, because he is well aware that he did something wrong. Men often think that lying is the lesser of two evils. They don't understand that a lie is always worse than the truth.
How can you tell if a man is lying?
How can you tell if a man is lying? Take advantage of what psychology and psychophysiology have given us. These sciences study the physical reactions of the human body.
Lying requires mental and emotional effort from us, which is why it becomes much easier to understand that he is lying thanks to the following reactions of the body:
In the question of how to identify a lie, attentiveness and the degree of closeness with the person are important. If a woman knows her interlocutor well, it will not be difficult for her to guess when he starts to lie.
Moreover, the female eye distinguishes lies more keenly: perhaps also because the fair sex has better developed intuition.
Each person has their own symptoms that indicate lying. Some rub their earlobe, others scratch their eyebrows, and others sniffle all the time.
The question of how to know that a man is lying is actually not that important. It is much more important to understand the reason for such behavior and do everything to hear only the truth in the future.
What to do if a man is lying
Usually our eyes “follow” our thoughts, and sometimes, just by looking into our eyes, other people can understand what we are thinking about.
Would you agree that reading another person's thoughts through their eyes is a very useful skill? Thanks to this, everyone will be able to understand whether they are being deceived or determine whether your interlocutor is interested in what you are telling him about. Professional poker players are fluent in this useful skill...
"Eyes to eyes". Such contact with the interlocutor indicates that he is very interested in talking with you.
Prolonged eye contact may indicate that the person is scared and/or doesn't trust you. Brief eye contact means the person is anxious and/or uninterested in talking to you.
And the complete lack of eye contact indicates the complete indifference of your interlocutor to your conversation.
The man looks up. Eyes raised upward are a sign of contempt, sarcasm, or irritation directed at you. In most cases, such a “gesture” means a manifestation of condescension.
If a person looks at the upper right corner, he visually imagines the picture stored in memory. Ask someone to describe the appearance of a person, and your interlocutor will certainly raise his eyes up and look to the right.
If a person averts his eyes to the upper left corner, this indicates that he is visually trying to imagine something. When we try to use our imagination to visually “draw” some picture, we raise our eyes up and look to the left.
If your interlocutor is looking to the right, it means that he is trying to remember something. Try asking someone to remember the melody of a song, and the person will definitely glance to the right.
Looking to the left, people come up with sounds. When a person imagines a sound or composes a new melody, he looks to the left. Ask someone to imagine the sound of a car horn underwater, and they will certainly look to the left.
If your interlocutor lowers his eyes and looks to the right, this person is conducting a so-called “internal” dialogue with himself. The person you're talking to may be thinking about something you said, or they may be thinking about what to tell you next.
If a person lowers his eyes down and looks to the left, he is thinking about his impression of something. Ask your interlocutor how he feels on his birthday, and before answering you, the person will lower his eyes and look to the left.
By lowering our eyes, we show that we do not feel very comfortable or even embarrassed. Often, if a person is shy or does not want to talk, he lowers his eyes. In Asian culture, not looking a person in the eye and looking down when talking is the norm.
These “rules” are usually followed by all of us. But left-handed people do the opposite: right-handed people look to the right, left-handed people look to the left, and vice versa. How to determine that they are lying to you? There is no absolutely correct algorithm by which you can determine whether your interlocutor is lying or not. The best option is to ask a basic question, such as “what color is your car?”
If a person raises his eyes and looks to the right (or left, if he is left-handed), then he can be trusted. This way, in the future, you can understand whether you are being deceived or not. For example, while telling you about what happened in class, your friend looks to the right; When talking about his holidays, he constantly looks up and glances to the right.
Most likely, everything he said is true.
But when he tells you about the beautiful girl he met the other day, and his eyes are directed to the upper left corner, you can conclude that he is clearly “embellishing.”
By learning to control his gaze, a person can force others to trust him unconditionally.
(How can you lie while looking a person straight in the eyes?)
It is quite difficult to catch a man who knows how to lie (and there are quite a lot of them) in a lie. Surely he did not come to you from a monastery, where there was not a single girl on whom you could hone your skills. Before you, he had such pretty ones who believed in a man with a sweet heart. So he realized that he can easily get away with such things, and does not think about the consequences.
If a man said that he would come home from work at seven, but it turns out that his seven o’clock is the same as your ten o’clock in the evening, then something is wrong here. Well, I was delayed. Well, I met a friend. So what? It would be okay if he warned you about this. Such a man is indifferent to the feelings of his beloved woman; he considers himself practically free.
He is confused in his testimony
A person who constantly lies to someone often forgets all the details of his story. And it’s very easy to catch him on such little things! True, not immediately, but a little later. If some conversation has caused you doubts, do not focus on it right away.
It’s better to return to this conversation a little later - maybe in a couple of days or a week. If any inaccuracies or differences from the previous version emerge in his words, then most likely the man is deceiving.
If this is not an isolated case, then you should think about whether you need such a liar-liar-liar?
He is not in the mood to discuss important issues
If a man is constantly not in the mood, busy or has a headache/butt/finger pain in order to discuss with you his future life, feelings or even plans for the weekend, everything suggests that the man is simply not interested in continuing this very relationship. And when a man doesn’t care about a woman, he will lie to her. Maybe unconsciously, in little things, but it will definitely happen. If only because he doesn’t want to let a woman get close to him.
