Self-criticism - how to stop remembering your mistakes?

Self-criticism is a habit of introspection and self-criticism. Self-criticism refers to anger and dissatisfaction directed at oneself. It is characterized by the presence of several forms of manifestation, namely: soft, hard and sad. The soft one includes the habit of reproaching one’s own personality, the hard one - self-accusation and self-flagellation, the sad one - the habit of dramatizing mistakes and sending joyless thoughts of the same content in a circle. The psychology of self-criticism is sometimes similar to a child’s defense mechanism. Children believe that if they scold themselves, they will thereby free their own candidacy from punishment from their close adult environment.

Content:

  1. Psychology of self-flagellation;
  2. Reasons for self-flagellation;
  3. How self-criticism manifests itself;
  4. Types of self-flagellation;
  5. How self-flagellation affects a person’s personality;
  6. How to get rid of self-criticism;
  7. Why is it important to have a track record of achievement?
  8. Productive and unproductive self-criticism;
  9. About the connection between pessimism and self-flagellation;
  10. “Artificial thought flow” technique;
  11. Learn from the professionals;
  12. Connect conductors and semiconductors on the way to the target;
  13. Hurry, take your time;

Psychosomatics of self-flagellation

Psychosomatics is a branch of medicine and psychology that studies the influence of mental factors on the functioning of internal organs. Diseases that are caused by mental health disorders are called psychosomatic.

People who constantly engage in soul-searching tend to develop the following diseases:

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

  • impotence, decreased libido;
  • hypertension - high blood pressure;
  • hypotension – low blood pressure;
  • dermatosis – pathologies of the skin;
  • chronic headaches;
  • arthrosis – diseases of the joints;
  • bronchial asthma;
  • peptic ulcer of the stomach and intestines.

Treatment of psychosomatic diseases will be effective when self-criticism can be stopped!

Psychology of self-flagellation

Self-flagellation and self-criticism are habits that poison life. This is immoderate, excessive self-criticism. A healthy analysis of your actions, your words, your behavior leads to personality development. Normally, we should be able to look at ourselves from the outside and evaluate our own actions for compliance with our life goals. But sometimes something creeps into our head that we replay over and over again, scolding ourselves and making us feel insecure and weak. Naturally, in such a state you do not develop your personality and even stagnate in one place.

Diagnosis of a group of people prone to self-flagellation

Self-flagellation is a psychological symptom, therefore diagnosis is aimed at a thorough study of the clinical picture and life history (presence of mental trauma in childhood, features of personality development).

But there are areas of the brain that are more active in people with a tendency to develop neuroses and depression. This section is the amygdala. It belongs to the deep brain structures and is responsible for emotions.

Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) can identify changes in amygdala activity. But this method is not a guarantee of diagnosing self-criticism. The first place is the conversation with the patient.

There is no need to be afraid to admit self-criticism. Isolation and pride will lead to the development of depression, which can often only be gotten rid of with the help of antidepressants. Learn to concentrate only on positive thoughts, follow the rule of three questions and repeat the simple “Mistake!” exercise: if self-medication does not bear fruit, do not be afraid to consult a psychotherapist.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

Reasons for self-flagellation

Any phenomenon has its reasons. Excessive self-criticism is formed under the influence of many factors:

  1. Low self-esteem . The person is dissatisfied with himself. The process of self-flagellation begins. Self-esteem decreases. Remorse increases. And this is a vicious circle that will not close until at least one component is eliminated.
  2. Miseducation . If parents are overly self-critical, then their children can become like that over time (provided that mom and dad were authorities for the child).
  3. Hypertrophied parent in the personality structure (according to the theory of transactional analysis). And now from Russian to normal. The famous psychologist Eric Berne identified the following ego states in the personality structure:
      adult (looking at the world objectively),
  4. childish (our desires are expressed through it),
  5. parental (that is, criticism, self-criticism - it’s all here).

Normally, these 3 conditions should be distributed equally in each person. Overly self-critical people have too strong a parental position, which overshadows the adult one. As a result, a person criticizes himself, completely disregarding objective reality (the inner adult is responsible for this).

  1. Pessimistic view of the world.
  2. The desire to relieve oneself of responsibility.
  3. Just a habit . A person would be glad to get rid of it, but everything happens by itself.

Where does the habit of self-flagellation come from?

Temperament is a stable characteristic of a person, determined by a set of genes in the body. Character is formed throughout life as a result of upbringing, the influence of society, and the presence of personal interests. Self-humiliation, being a character trait, is mainly formed in childhood. Over time, only the severity of the bad habit changes.

The main reasons for self-criticism:

  1. Inadequate upbringing.
  2. Imbalance in three components of personality: adult, child and parent, with a predominance of the latter.
  3. Fear of responsibility.
  4. Low self-esteem.

Inadequate parenting refers to excessive criticism of parents. The child’s psyche is designed in such a way that he needs praise. Children do not understand that they did something right until they hear it from the lips of their authority - mom or dad. Samoyeds grow up from teenagers who were under constant pressure from their parents.

Psychologist E. Berne describes personality as a combination of adult, child and parental components. They have the following functions:

  • child – emotions, expressive actions, mood, intuition, impressions;
  • adult – adequate self-analysis and self-criticism, reflecting reality;
  • parent – ​​strict, indestructible ideas that do not always correspond to reality.

The predominant parental component in the Samoyed suppresses the inner adult. There is no adequate analysis of what is happening. A person hears an inner voice expressing the same ideas of self-oppression.

People who are afraid of responsibility constantly torment themselves. Torment is a way to convince yourself not to do something. Absence of action means absence of responsibility for it.

Low self-esteem leads to self-dissatisfaction. Self-flagellation begins, which further lowers self-esteem. A vicious circle closes. You can open it only after increasing confidence and accepting yourself.

How does self-criticism manifest itself?

Self-criticism begins after realizing a mistake (or its repetition). The man decided that he needed to be perfect. Right now. And if not, then he is a mistake of nature. He missed and stumbled. He started gnawing at himself. He says: “That’s it, I’ll never do this again.” And then he makes mistakes again (and often steps on the same rake) and gnaws at himself even more. It should become even more ideal! On the first try. And this is such a shame. The poor fellow forgot that the first pancake almost always comes out lumpy.

Self-criticism ends in neuroses and psychoses. In extreme cases, a person injures himself or commits suicide. But much more often, life simply goes downhill steadily, which makes us gnaw at ourselves even more. Self-flagellation often ends in alcoholism and drug addiction, which destroy a person’s health and social status. Psychosomatic diseases also appear (that is, diseases whose trigger is constant negative emotions). At one point, a neurotic person comes to the doctor, and he tells him: “you have cancer and I don’t know why.” And the reason is simple - he was engaged in self-criticism for 20 years.

But all this is in extreme cases! For the most part, a person simply lives a dull life, goes to the office, gets paid pennies and chews himself from time to time. There is no degradation, but there is no development either. Just stable unhappiness . And this is what the majority do in our country, alas.

Types of self-criticism: description


Types of self-criticism
There are several types of self-criticism and self-flagellation:

  • Demonstrative . In fact, this is not even self-criticism, it is only external. In this case, self-criticism is exposed and the person allegedly reproaches himself for mistakes and thereby begs for attention and sympathy. However, in fact, he does not suffer at all, or not as much as he shows.
  • Introverted . In this case, all the drama occurs within the person. It doesn't show anything on the outside. Introverted Samoyeds do not play in public, but at the same time they are afraid to be left alone with themselves. They strongly reproach themselves for everything they have done and not done, and also try to find more and more new ways to blame themselves and remain in a sad state. All mistakes become a drama, a person does not love himself and it is difficult to get out of such a state.
  • Neurotic . This is active self-criticism, which becomes an entire strategy and determines a person’s choice. There is self-humiliation and spiritual masochism here, and this is the only motivator. It is almost impossible to independently understand that such a worldview is limited.

Types of self-flagellation

The following types or degrees of self-critical personality are distinguished:

  1. Soft . A person demonstratively scolds himself, but does not cause psychological damage. He says that he is a loser so that others will feel sorry for him. And he himself benefits from ostentatious self-flagellation. The reason for this behavior is a lack of sense of responsibility. People usually scold themselves for show so as not to be blamed. This is a way of abdicating responsibility, combined with self-doubt.
  2. Tough . A person gnaws at himself because of an exaggerated sense of responsibility. This is no longer a demonstrative form, but this does not make it any less destructive, even more so.
  3. Neurotic . In this case, self-flagellation becomes a common habit for a person, and only the slightest reason is enough. He no longer even notices how he does it.

Self-criticism - what is it?

Psychologists understand this term as a negative analysis of one’s actions, behavior, character traits, which is accompanied by emotions of dissatisfaction and disapproval.

Types of self-deprecation depending on the severity of manifestations:

  1. Mild degree - a person scolds himself so that those around him feel sorry for him. No mental harm is caused. Demonstrative humiliation eliminates responsibility. Scolding yourself so that others don’t do it is a manifestation of a mild degree of self-flagellation.
  2. Severe degree - a person torments himself not for the pity of others, but out of a sense of increased responsibility. This form is more destructive to mental health.
  3. Neurotic degree - self-criticism becomes a habit. It becomes so rooted in character that a person does not notice it. Getting rid of the neurotic form is the most difficult. It is difficult for a psychologist to make a client realize the problem.

At its core, the neurotic form of self-flagellation is a disease, a type of neurosis. The victim is haunted by a constant obsessive thought that does not correspond to reality: “I am bad. I'm doing everything wrong. I'll just ruin everything."

The therapist’s task is to find the cause of this inner voice and eliminate it as quickly as possible.

In advanced cases, neurosis develops into depression. Self-criticism is a symptom that distinguishes depression from sad mood. Apathy (indifference to the outside world), suicidal thoughts and attempts that accompany the disease make it extremely dangerous.

How does self-flagellation affect a person's personality?

Self-flagellation prevents a person from developing. We focus on the shortcomings when we need to think about how to improve the necessary areas of life.

  • Focusing on shortcomings is a negative focus.
  • Focusing on how to improve your life is a positive focus. And as you know, what we focus on is what we attract into our lives. We become more optimistic, which creates conditions for personal development and self-improvement. If we bite ourselves, life will become unbearable.

Many people mistakenly believe that self-criticism is the path to development. But this is not so, moderate self-criticism is the main thing in personality development. And self-criticism leads to the development of only psychosomatic and physiological diseases. Feel this edge!

How to get rid of self-criticism?

Oh, it's not easy to get rid of self-criticism. However, like any other habit.

  1. We don’t notice how we begin to eat ourselves from the inside. Therefore, the main task is to learn to notice and strictly suppress any attempts at self-destruction . After all, a person who engages in self-flagellation often does not notice how he begins to experience an inadequate feeling of guilt. And to discover that you are in such a state, you can ask yourself from time to time “if I’m biting myself.” After a while it will become a habit.
  2. You can direct your thoughts in the opposite direction. Form the habit of comforting yourself no matter what happens . However, there is no need to go to extremes. Some people do nothing but console themselves, and this leads to inflated self-esteem and a “don’t give a fuck” view of the world.
  3. The absence of excessive self-criticism is not an excuse for lack of will. You need to criticize yourself, but not emotionally (and ideally, with positive emotions) . Sometimes you can even shout at yourself, but within reasonable limits. But we will talk about this later.

What are the consequences of self-criticism, why is it dangerous?


Consequences of self-criticism

  • Self-criticism blocks good emotions, which forces you to constantly express dissatisfaction with your life, appearance and actions
  • Samoyeds do not sleep well, they are always anxious and this steals time
  • A person cannot reveal his talents because self-criticism makes him feel helpless
  • Rational thinking is turned off. Anyone who constantly engages in self-flagellation becomes fixated on his experiences, and therefore cannot get out of such a situation.

Nobody likes people who always scold themselves. And this is logical, how can others like you if you don’t accept yourself as you are?

A constant feeling of guilt leads to the fact that you can become a “victim of manipulation.” Skilled manipulators actively manage such people

To put it simply, self-criticism becomes the cause of physical, energetic and psychological exhaustion. Changing the situation is possible if you give up the bad habit of delving into yourself.

Why is it important to have a track record of achievement?

When we have already achieved something, self-criticism is more adequate and moderate. She doesn't have such extremes. But this is only possible if this achievement is significant to you. Sometimes people achieve a lot, but remain constantly dissatisfied with themselves. This suggests that they have not read this article and do not know how important it is to focus on improving their lives, rather than eliminating shortcomings.

For such individuals, everything they achieve is constantly not enough. Therefore, you need to start by counting the number of achievements. And what is important: their scale should not be taken into account at all. After some time, you will see that the number of successes will be in the tens, hundreds and even thousands. And everything will be in your hands. And if you are already seeing results, then you will begin to like what you do, and this will lead to faster growth in achievements.

How childhood envy forms the habit of self-criticism

Both a person experiencing envy and someone who is envied can become a Samoyed. We are talking about “black” envy. It puts a person in a negative mood. An envious person waits for a more successful person to make a mistake. Most often, this cannot be expressed in person. Anger accumulates inside and turns into self-aggression.

The envious person is already angry with himself for not being successful enough, for not being able to do something as well as the object of envy. The process of autocannibalism, that is, eating oneself, begins. Envy fades into the background, developing into dissatisfaction with oneself.

The object of envy becomes a Samoyed due to fear of the “evil eye.” People are so afraid of being better than others that they do not take any significant actions. The justification is criticism of oneself. They are guided by this principle: it is easier to accuse yourself of incompetence and do nothing than to stand out from the crowd. Others, on the contrary, are afraid of doing something wrong and losing the authority of others.

Productive and unproductive self-criticism

At the same time, never mentally screaming at yourself is also harmful! Lack of self-criticism is also destructive. And here you need to know when to stop. Sometimes anger is useful, because nothing brings us to tone more than the emotions inherited from our smaller brothers in the process of evolution. Fear and anger are manifestations of two of the most important instincts for survival. One emotion is responsible for the “fight” response, and the other is responsible for the “flight” response. So, if you get angry, the fear will instantly go away, and vice versa. After all, you decided to “beat” all the difficulties on the way to your goal. And when the habit of fighting with difficulties reaches the point of automatism, then what kind of self-flagellation can we talk about?

A self-critical person is a person who is capable of achieving success. But if this quality is exaggerated, then it is no longer productive.

What a person calls willpower is anger directed in a constructive direction. He shouted at himself and took a few steps towards his goal. But here three conditions must be met for criticism to remain constructive:

  1. It must precede the action, and not occur after it . That is, if you are afraid to approach a person to talk about some topic important to you, then you should tell yourself “come on, pull yourself together, you rag,” while you still have the opportunity. And if you criticize yourself after you haven’t done it, it will only lead to empty self-flagellation when it’s too late to change something.
  2. Less shouting, more severity . There is no need to scold yourself with the last words. Just mentally say “I decided!” And to do this, you need to learn to manage emotions and improve emotional intelligence. Severity is also aggression, but expressed to a reasonable extent and at the right time. And self-flagellation is a complex of emotions and actions divorced from reality, and this is why it is dangerous.
  3. Positive emotions after performing an action should cover the negativity that precedes the action . For example, if you didn’t want to achieve a goal, you were internally angry with yourself, started doing it and then got what you wanted, then joy will be many times greater than anger. And next time it will take less effort to get started. Verified.

Many people are interested in what “self-critical” means. This word is usually said in response to a person’s ostentatious self-flagellation or when he criticizes himself constructively. It all depends on the situation. That is, it is impossible to say whether the interlocutor is overly self-critical or everything is in moderation based on one phrase.

How to stop self-criticism?


How to deal with self-criticism?
First of all, try to accept yourself. Yes, you are not ideal, but you don’t have to meet any standards. You are unique, so why should you blame yourself for it? And look around, is everything made like a carbon copy? Each person is unique and instead of seeing only flaws in themselves, might it be better to highlight their strengths?

  • Forgive yourself for all your shortcomings and mistakes you have made. This will be the very first step towards improving your inner world. Accordingly, you will begin to change. Through forgiveness, you stop the process of destruction and allow yourself to get rid of everything bad.
  • Try to think positively, develop a sense of humor and character. You shouldn’t fight your bad qualities, it’s better to strengthen your strengths.
  • Praise yourself more often. If you start to reprimand yourself for something, then try to switch to praise. Think about everything about yourself that you are happy with. Laugh at your mistakes, don't take them as something too bad.
  • You must understand that self-criticism is a defense mechanism that manifests itself from childhood. When you scold yourself, reproach yourself from the position of a parent, you find yourself in a corner. That is, you find yourself helpless, you show emotions, but everything around you is bad. You have grown up and you have the strength to perceive everything adequately.
  • Learn to suppress the emotions that come with self-eating. Bad feelings will not bring good things in this case, so learn to control them.
  • Change your behavior and stick to it. Instead of self-criticism, look at everything differently. Think about how you acted, what exactly was a mistake and what needs to be done to correct the situation. A simple technique will help you get out of such a circle - “Three Questions”. Ask them to yourself one by one, and write the answers on paper.
  1. What have I done? First, describe the situation in as much detail as possible.
  2. What could I do? Think about how you could behave - what to feel, say, etc.
  3. What can I do tomorrow? Write down on paper your actions that would help correct the situation

This technique will help you learn useful lessons from unpleasant situations, correlate the scale of what happened and your reaction. Perhaps the event is not so terrible and there is no need to worry about it.

On the connection between pessimism and self-flagellation

Self-flagellation is a direct consequence of pessimism. When we see everything in black tones, we don’t see the light, we find sad thoughts, and we really want to blame ourselves for the fact that the world is exactly like this. Pessimists love to search for those to blame for all their troubles. This leads to difficulties in interacting with others. Every self-critical person can become successful only if she compares her own feelings with reality.

When a person blames himself, he often burdens others with his problems. And all negative emotions are necessarily transferred to other people. They read them automatically, and therefore the relationship also deteriorates. Most people do not like to experience negative emotions, they are simply afraid of them.

Self-criticism

Self-criticism as a personality quality is a tendency to constantly show excessive self-criticism, illiterate introspection, anger and dissatisfaction with oneself, fruitless gnawing at oneself for one’s behavior.

A young writer once told Mark Twain that he was losing confidence in his writing talent. —Have you ever had such sensations? - asked the writer. “Yes,” Twain replied. “One day, when I had been writing for fifteen years, I suddenly realized that I was absolutely mediocre. - And what did you do? Have you given up writing? - How could I? By that time I was already famous.

Self-criticism is self-rejection. Self-criticism is self-oppression, pushing towards servility. Self-aggrandizement is the shortest road to pride. Self-criticism leads to servility. These are extremes. There is no point in self-criticism, because there is no result behind it. It plunges a person into the abyss of inaction, justifying his laziness and lack of determination. In self-criticism there is not even sincere repentance, which is aimed at identifying vicious personality traits, indecent behavior, identifying them, diagnosing their roots, repenting of them and liberation through cultivating positive personality traits. And self-criticism is just illiterate self-criticism, mutilated introspection, reinforced by the habit from childhood of gnawing at oneself. Simply put, self-criticism is the desire to hurt myself to prove that I am bad, that I can’t do anything, because I was born and raised this way, it’s not my fault, others are to blame for everything, there is no way out, so I can’t do anything necessary.

Unlike a conscientious person, who hears and acts according to the voice of conscience - an internal controller who morally evaluates a person’s views, feelings and actions from the standpoint of good and evil, self-criticism is inactive, sometimes lowers itself to worthlessness and insignificance, comforts pride from the degree of its fall, but at this is not going to be corrected and improved. When the connection with the highest spiritual values, with the representation of God in man - conscience, is lost, only one thing remains: fruitless, dissatisfied and evil self-criticism.

The hero of the novel F.M. Dostoevsky-Raskolnikov was “burned” not by conscience, but by an internal feeling of his criminality - self-criticism. His mind feverishly clung to the idea that he was not a “trembling creature” and “has the right,” but his personality seemed to be split into two - one justified the crime, the second condemned it. He perceives the world not through the prism of conscience, but in “flashes”, “insights”. He snatches from his surroundings only those impressions that strengthen the immovable idea firmly entrenched in his soul. Hence the meaningful “it flashed for a moment,” “it gripped him,” “it hit him like thunder,” “he suddenly cried out in a frenzy,” “it hit him in the head and darkened his vision,” “suddenly he came to his senses.” He reads his mother’s fatal letter not just like that, but “with an idea”: “smirking and angrily celebrating in advance the success of his decision.” Raskolnikov’s monologue regarding this letter looks too excited: it’s as if he is deliberately engaged in self-criticism, mocking himself, with great gloating, playing out every line with perverted pleasure: “So he tormented himself and teased himself with these questions even with some kind of pleasure.”

Investigator Porfiry understands that it is impossible to catch Raskolnikov using formal interrogation; he is strong in logical “casuistry”. The hero is let down by something else—self-criticism. Therefore, Porfiry boldly reveals psychological calculations to him: “What is it: he will run away! It's shaped; but the main thing is not that; ...I have him psychologically

won't run away, hehe! What an expression! According to the law of nature, he will not run away from me, even if there was somewhere to run away. Have you seen a butterfly in front of a candle? Well, so he will all be, everything will be spinning around me, like around a candle; freedom will not be nice, it will begin to think, get confused, entangle itself all around, as if in a net, worry itself to death!.. And everything will be, everything will create circles around me, narrowing and narrowing the radius, and - bang! It will fly straight into my mouth and I will swallow it, and that’s very pleasant, sir, he-he-he! You do not believe?"

What are the consequences of self-criticism? It reduces self-esteem, complicates and destroys personality, steals a lot of time and positive emotions, makes a person uncharming, endows him with a swollen sense of guilt, turns him into a convenient object for manipulation, prevents him from revealing his talents and gifts, makes him helpless, leaves him alone with emotions, blocking the opportunity to turn on rational thinking and find the optimal way out of the situation.

Self-criticism gradually leaves the nursery. Now it eats itself, others did it before, but the habit remains. It is usually the “caring” parents who become the “critics.” No one explained to them that actions can be criticized, not personality. Until the age of seven, a child has no self-defense at all from the influence of others. Therefore, any critical remarks directly destroy his personality.

Self-criticism is the transfer of criticism from childhood into adulthood with a change in roles. Previously, parents, grandparents, and teachers criticized, but now oneself is enough. A scenario familiar from childhood plays out in my head: the critical voice of an imaginary parent sounds. After listening to edifications and reproaches, the adult child believes that he has been punished enough, calms down, does nothing, and the situation remains unresolved.

A real disaster if a Samoyed tries to control the whole world and reproach himself for the kangaroo eaten by the Australian aborigines, for military conflicts in the Middle East. It is extremely difficult to live with a person who wants to strictly control the lives of loved ones, friends, distant relatives, and work colleagues. The wider the zone of his control, the more reasons he finds for self-criticism. A Samoyed who takes away others' right to be different turns into a skilled manipulator. For example, adult children did something wrong, and he has a hypertensive crisis, a migraine, in a word, a dying look. In addition to the external background, this is really fueled by self-accusations: “It was I who raised such an unworthy person. The apple never falls far from the tree. It's all my fault! Woe to my gray head." The Samoyed – the controller – is a leaden, thundercloud in the family, increasing tension, burden and despondency.

Self-criticism as a personality quality manifests itself constantly, but in forms of varying depth. You can constantly blame and reproach yourself, you can move on to harsh self-recrimination and, finally, dramatize and tragicize each of your miscalculations, constantly returning to the past, dwelling on your past failures for the hundredth time. In the past, you need to consider the bad and experience the good. This is what reasonable people do. The Samoyed does the opposite - he takes into account the good and, once again, chews on the negatives of the past, that is, he chases dreary thoughts in a vicious circle. The past can only be mentally touched, but cannot be changed. Therefore, self-criticism, based on the endless digestion of past obscenity, is not constructive, it is a kind of entertainment of the mind, a form of masochism, a game of intellectual sophistication, bohemian aristocracy. Self-criticism, violently condemning oneself for self-criticism, is the apotheosis of this personality quality.

Petr Kovalev 2013 Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-statej/

Artificial Thought Flow Technique

A great way to direct your thoughts in the right direction is to create an artificial mental flow. Simply put, start talking to yourself. Stop, you say. This is crazy. No. You can talk to yourself. And thinking is always expressed in speech. The only exception is visual-figurative thinking, characteristic of infancy. In all other age groups, all thoughts are expressed in speech.

So, if you know how to speak, it means you can direct your thoughts in the right direction. Self-flagellation already implies a dialogue with the unloved one. Just change the subject of the conversation, talk about how good everything is, and everything will become much better. Thinking positively can be daunting at first. This is fine. You are used to a bad way of thinking, and it is not easy to change it. But if you think positively for 21 days, a habit will form, and it will be easier in the future.

Learn from the professionals

Find helpers in achieving your goals. The ideal way to become more cheerful and confident is to find a professional who can support and coach you. He will help you achieve any goal and accidentally indicate success. It’s one thing to see achievements yourself, and another thing to have someone point them out to you. And if this is also an expert in your field, then self-esteem soars through the roof. What kind of self-flagellation can we talk about when you are praised by a professional whom you trust?

Have you started learning from an expert, but he scolds you? You made a mistake, no big deal. It's just not an expert. Look for someone else. Not everyone can support and teach at the same time. Look for just such a specialist.

Connect conductors and semiconductors along the way

Experts who professionally deal with your achievements are called coaches, trainers, teachers. These are guides on the path to success. The more of these people you connect, the higher your self-esteem will be over time. As a result, you will begin to bite yourself less and console yourself more.

There is another category of people who will help you understand how not to engage in self-criticism. These are "semiconductors". They will support you in any endeavor, will not pick your brain, and will not criticize you for the slightest mistake. A semiconductor is every optimist you know. Be sure to build good relationships with such people.

Self-criticism from a psychological point of view

When a person experiences negativity towards himself, it is commonly called self-criticism. This is a condition that can develop from neurosis into self-humiliation and self-flagellation, but it is impossible to simply let go of the situation.

Psychologists define self-criticism as a negative assessment of one’s own actions, deeds or words. And the result is total dissatisfaction and self-rejection. If we compare this state with adequate self-criticism, then the latter has some constructiveness. This makes it possible to adequately analyze the situation and draw certain conclusions. Self-criticism does not lead a person to self-destruction because it does not evoke such strong emotions.

Over time, self-criticism can develop into a bad habit. It becomes fixed in the individual, lowers self-esteem, and affects the perception of the surrounding reality and oneself. Sometimes a person gets so used to internal eating that he begins to blame himself for it and completely withdraws. And the reason for this may be just one mistake that was repeated once or several times. And if a person treats himself very strictly and is used to being ideal, then this can become a prerequisite for him to destroy his image.

3 important steps

which every woman should go through

Anika Snagovskaya

Author and presenter of women's trainings on harmonizing feminine energy. Master of removing limiting beliefs and master of constellations.

I have prepared three lessons for you that will help you better understand yourself, remove the restrictions that prevent you from feeling loved and living happily.

01

Video lesson with meditation: 5 states of femininity

You will learn about 5 female states that exist in every woman, how they manifest themselves and which archetypes are most manifested in you and which are not developed.

02

Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships

I’ll tell you what you need to do to free your heart from old feelings and break the energy threads connecting you with your past partner.

03

Audio recording: Neuro-af

Thanks to this neuro-affirmation, you can regain self-love and feel sincere gratitude and happiness for every day.

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Audio recording: Neuro-af

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For example, a person lost his temper and did something that he had refused earlier. He doesn't just scold himself, he literally hates himself. If the situation repeats, the condition worsens. A person begins to demand perfection from himself without the right to make mistakes.

Self-criticism is not harmless. It leads first to psychosis, then to neurosis, and it can all end in a psychiatric hospital or suicide. But even if there are no extremes, life changes dramatically, and more and more reasons for self-destruction appear. The result may be a ward in psychiatry, alcoholism or drug addiction. In some cases, self-criticism leads to the development of serious diseases, but even doctors cannot determine this.

In addition, self-criticism does not accept a high standard of living. A person simply cannot allow himself to develop and be happy. Most of these people live without entertainment and joy, do things they don’t like all their lives and degrade or stop in a state of discomfort.

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