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If you are asked “How are you?”, give an original answer. Read more in the article.

During his life, every person has heard the question “How are you?” hundreds of times. Of course, by being interested in the mood of the interlocutor, no one implies any deep meanings. Quite the contrary. This phrase can smooth out an awkward pause in a conversation, or provoke the interlocutor to give a detailed answer at the time of the meeting.

Read another article on our website about why people ask awkward questions . You will learn how to correctly answer awkward questions according to psychology.

In this article you will find examples and original phrases on how to answer the question “How are you?” . Read on.

"How are you?" - why do they ask: the reason

"How are you?" - sounds like a greeting. In most cases, the question “How are you?” is introductory. After a person hears the answer: “good”, “fine”, “everything is fine” , he will immediately move the conversation to another, more interesting topic. Of course, few people want to listen to someone’s sobs and complaints for hours afterwards. Why do they ask this? Here are some reasons:

What to say when things aren't going well

Problems with health or at work sometimes greatly spoil your mood. In this state, the last thing you want to do is answer questions from relatives or friends about the situation. It is better to tell your loved one honestly about personal problems. If you don’t want to share information about failures or successes, you can answer “It doesn’t matter.”

Other phrases for when things aren't going well:

I'm still breathing.
If I give a great answer, you won’t believe it; if I say something bad, you won’t be able to help.
I'll let you know when I understand it myself.
Is this so important to you?
Thank you, I'm trying to live. How about yourself?
I'm totally ready for the end of the world.
I urgently need peace and quiet.
I'd be lying if I said everything was fine.
And why do you need it?

For relatives

Most of all, of course, you hear questions about how things are from those closest to you, for example, from parents. After all, no matter how old the son or daughter is, they will still continue to worry about the life of their child. For parents, it is worth preparing a warm answer, for example, “Everything is fine, because you are taking care of me,” “When I talk to you, everything is always fine with me.” A few words can bring joy and happiness, so why not take advantage of it. You need to find the right words for loved ones.

Depression or bad mood?

In Russia, every third adult suffers from depression. Depression worsens a person’s quality of life, negatively affects relationships with loved ones and colleagues, and reduces a person’s effectiveness at work. It is worth noting that while previously it was mainly the intellectual and economic elite of society who were aware of the importance of a full active life who turned to a psychotherapist for help, in recent years the number of people among all segments of the population who prefer to use professional psychotherapeutic help has increased.

How to understand that you or your loved ones are not just in a bad mood, but depressed, for which you need to seek help from a psychotherapist?

Any depression consists of three components - mood disorders, autonomic disorders and fatigue.

The first component of depression has to do with changes in mood—a sad, depressed mood that lasts more than two weeks. With depression, a dull perception of the world around you appears, everything around seems gray and uninteresting. There are mood swings throughout the day - the mood can be good in the morning, but worsen in the evening. Or the mood is bad in the morning, and dissipates somewhat in the evening. Some people may not have daily mood swings - they are constantly sad, sad, depressed and tearful.

Depressed mood comes in different shades. Sometimes it is a depressed mood with a tinge of melancholy, a tinge of anxiety, a tinge of despair, as well as indifference or irritability. Sometimes a person may not be aware of his sad mood, but feel the so-called physical manifestations of depression. With depression, there may be a feeling of intense heat in the chest, “a heavy pressing stone on the heart.” Less commonly, depression manifests itself as a chronic sensation of pain in any part of the body, while doctors of other specialties do not find organic causes for pain.

Very often a person reacts to a situation of prolonged stress with depression with a hint of anxiety. People feel anxiety in different ways. It can manifest itself in the fear of falling asleep, nightmares, and in the constant fear and imagination that something terrible will happen to loved ones. Sometimes a person describes anxiety as nervousness and the inability to sit in one place. A constant feeling of anxiety does not allow one to relax, for example, a person cannot sit quietly in a chair for more than two or three minutes - “he fidgets in the chair, then jumps up and begins to walk around the room.”

Very severe anxiety (57 points on the Sheehan scale or more) occurs against the background of full-blown depression, and manifests itself in the form of panic attacks (feeling of shortness of breath, palpitations, trembling in the body, sensations of heat). If severe anxiety occurs, this indicates that the person has formed a huge underwater part of the iceberg of depression, and the anxiety disorder is the tip of this iceberg of depression.

If with anxious depression a person cannot sit still, then with other forms of depression, on the contrary, it becomes more difficult for him to move. If a person sleeps 12-14 hours a day, he does not feel energetic in the morning, and ordinary actions - cooking soup, cleaning the apartment with a vacuum cleaner - seem overwhelming or meaningless to him, this may be a manifestation of apathetic depression.

Inhibition processes during depression cover the entire body - it becomes more difficult for a person to think, his memory and attention deteriorate significantly, which significantly affects his performance. Difficulties with concentration manifest themselves in the fact that a person gets tired from watching TV for a short time or from reading a few pages of an interesting book. Or, for example, a person may sit in front of a computer for a long time, but is unable to concentrate on work.

The second component of depression includes autonomic disorders (manifestations of vegetative-vascular dystonia). If the cardiologist and therapist have excluded relevant organic diseases, then frequent urination, false urges, headaches, dizziness, fluctuations in blood pressure and temperature are interpreted as additional vegetative signs of depression.

Depression affects the gastrointestinal tract in the following way: a person loses appetite and experiences constipation for 4-5 days. Much less often, with an atypical form of depression, a person experiences increased appetite, diarrhea, or false urges.

Depression does not bypass the reproductive system of the body. As a result of developing depression, sensations in the sexual sphere become dulled in both men and women. Much less often, depression manifests itself in the form of compulsive masturbation, or in the form of escape into numerous promiscuous relationships. Men often have problems with potency. In women with depression, there may be a regular delay in menstruation for 10-14 days, for six months or more.

The third component of depression is asthenic, which includes fatigue, sensitivity to weather changes, and irritability. Irritation is caused by loud noises, bright lights and sudden touches from strangers (for example, when a person is accidentally pushed in the subway or on the street). Sometimes, after an outburst of internal irritation, tears appear.

With depression, various sleep disorders are observed: difficulty falling asleep, shallow restless sleep with frequent awakenings, or early awakenings with a simultaneous desire and inability to fall asleep.

Depression has its own laws of development. There are signs that indicate the severity of depression. A sign of a significant increase in depression is thoughts about the meaninglessness of life and even suicide. Thus, a general feeling of unwillingness to live, thoughts about the meaninglessness or purposelessness of life, as well as more pronounced suicidal thoughts, intentions or plans appear consistently with severe depression. The appearance of these symptoms in you or your loved ones is an indication for urgent consultation with a psychotherapist. In this condition, it is important to begin drug treatment for depression at an adequate dose as soon as possible.

Drug treatment for depression is prescribed if the level of depression on the Zung scale is equal to or higher than 48 points. The effect is due to the influence of the drug on the system of serotonin (the hormone of happiness and pleasure), norepinephrine, etc. Against the background of a stable mood, it is much easier to solve psychological problems and resolve conflict situations.

Many people are afraid to take antidepressants because... It is believed that these drugs allegedly develop addiction (dependence on the drug). But this is not at all true; addiction to antidepressants (dependence on the drug) does not develop at all. Strong sedatives and sleeping pills from the group of tranquilizers (benzodiazepines) cause addiction. Depression is treated with fundamentally different drugs – antidepressants.

Depending on the shade of depressed mood, the psychotherapist prescribes different antidepressants. There are antidepressants that treat depression with a hint of anxiety. There are drugs for treating depression with a hint of apathy, indifference, etc. With the correct dosage of medications, after three to four weeks, depression begins to reverse its development - suicidal thoughts and anxiety disappear, a desire to actively act appears, and mood stabilizes.

Antidepressants begin to act at the end of the second or third week. Having felt an improvement, most people stop taking the antidepressant by the fourth week, and, as a result, the depression returns after a few weeks. In order to completely cure depression, it is very important to complete the entire course of treatment for depression prescribed by a psychotherapist.

The duration of treatment with antidepressants is determined by a psychotherapist individually in each specific case. But, as a rule, the course of treatment with antidepressants lasts from 4 months to a year, sometimes longer. Sometimes a psychotherapist, after the main course of treatment, may prescribe a course of maintenance treatment to consolidate the effect of treatment for depression. Depression lasting less than six months is the easiest to treat. If a person delays treatment for two to three years, or even eight to ten years, then the course of treatment increases significantly, and can reach one and a half years with one and a half years of maintenance therapy.

Depression in psychotherapy should be treated like a high temperature in the practice of general illnesses. High temperature is not a diagnosis; it indicates physical distress. When a person has a high temperature, he goes to the doctor, and the specialist figures out whether it is the flu, appendicitis or something else. Likewise, depression indicates that a person’s soul is bad and he needs psychological help. The psychotherapist prescribes an “antipyretic” - an antidepressant, and then, using psychotherapy methods, helps the person deal with the problem that caused the depression.

How to improve your mood?

If the answer to the question “how are you feeling?” does not add optimism, you should immediately begin to improve it. It is not necessary to pour out your soul to the person asking. Most often, like the question “how are you?”, mood is asked out of decency. It's more important to be honest with yourself. An approximate algorithm of actions is as follows:

Try to understand for yourself whether everything is okay;
Understand the causes of bad mood;
Eliminate factors that negatively affect the emotional background;
Switch to pleasant moments;
Get emotional recharge.

Now let's look at these steps separately.

Try to figure out for yourself if everything is okay

As soon as the question “how are you feeling?” is asked, you should look at yourself from the outside and understand whether it is appropriately asked. Situations are different. For example, someone behaves like a comedian, and then suddenly tries to become a serious person. It will not be surprising if everyone around him seems to be in a bad mood. Although, in fact, this will be absolutely not the case. But sometimes the question “how are you feeling?” turns out to be spot on. Then it’s better to think about it and try to understand why the emotions are negative.

Understand the reasons for bad mood

The ability to analyze is one of the most important evolutionary adaptations that raised humans above other animals. Therefore, you need to apply this skill always and everywhere. He will give you tips on how to improve your mood.

How to answer your lover or lover?

Couples in love can communicate all day long. To continue to arouse the interest of your significant other, you should give the most friendly answer

“With your arrival (appearance on the Internet), my mood immediately became excellent”;
“It’s very bad, because you’re not around right now”;
“It gets better as soon as I remember the moments spent with you”;
“Like Carlson - I always want sweets and play pranks”;
“No need to ask, my mood is the same as yours, because we are two halves of one whole.”

Interesting questions and topics for conversation

Instead of the boring “how are you?” You can ask your interlocutor:

What are you planning for the next week (day, month, season)?
What show or movie have you watched lately?
What unusual is happening in your life?
How are you feeling, blood pressure, heartbeat, digestion, sweating, mood, behavior? How are you?

When communicating, you need to take into account the age of the interlocutor, his character traits, hobbies and other factors. The student can ask questions and talk about education, ask about interesting incidents and jokes from student or school life. When talking with a family man who has children, you should ask about their health.

Non-standard answers for men and girls

Neither a girl nor a man should be like the interlocutor with his banal, annoying question and greeting. You should not become rude, especially if you plan to continue your acquaintance. After all, if a guy or girl asks, then, most likely, they are really interested in your affairs and expect a sincere continuation of the conversation.

like a watermelon - the belly grows, but the tail dries out;
like in Antalya - yesterday there was Olga, today there are two Natalias;
I teach the cat to speak so that he can answer such questions for me;
confirm that you are not a robot, enter the captcha in the message field;
I was going to become a lark, and now I’m a sleep-deprived, angry owl;
so much has not been done, and so much remains to be done.

You can continue meeting a nice girl like this:

I plan to enslave the world;
one of these days I will surrender;
it would be better if you were with me (for the internet).

As for girls, they are lovers of all kinds of emoticons, and actively use them on social networks and various instant messengers. Communication in reality can be continued or ended with the following remarks:

many of you were killed;
everything is fine - it blooms even on waterless and rocky soil;
I didn’t give it to him / but I gave it to him / to whom I wanted, I gave it;
like a convertible – it’s gorgeous, but there’s no roof;
they say that everything is done through the bed - here I am lying, covered with a blanket, waiting for the borscht to be cooked and the floors to be washed;
I grow, bloom and smell;
I haven’t lost weight yet for a relationship with you;
not strong in conversations on such topics;
like at a buffet table - I don’t take what they offer, but I’m embarrassed to ask for what I want. I have to pretend that I’m not hungry.

Why do they ask “how are you?”

The well-known phrase “from the outside knows better” does not lose its relevance. At the same time, another saying goes side by side with it: “another’s soul is darkness.” Which statement is more true? It all depends on the specific situation. Sometimes the obsessive question “how are you?” can further ruin an already bad mood.

Firstly , appearance does not always reflect what is going on in a person’s soul. Looking gloomy can be natural for someone even when they win the lottery. At the same time, a “Hollywood” smile is often included in the emotional “mask”. Much depends on the type of temperament. A sanguine person has more than enough joy. You can’t get emotions out of a phlegmatic person even with pincers. Cholerics themselves will explain what they think, without even waiting for a question. For a melancholic person, a sour expression is normal.

Secondly , it is worth understanding who is asking the question “how are you feeling?” in order to correctly interpret its significance for yourself. If a friend or relative who knows the normal state well asks, you should think about it, perhaps there really is something wrong with your mood. If the question is asked by a passing acquaintance, then most likely it is either idle interest or a provocation. Similar to the situation with underweight.

For example , someone is trying to increase their weight. Everyone close to him pays attention to the fact that he is really becoming more massive. Then this person accidentally meets a hat-wearing acquaintance, and hears in his direction, “Why are you so thin?”, out of the blue. Why did he even decide that? Why did you voice such nonsense? Simply without thinking, or, conversely, even after thinking about how best to offend.

Thirdly , it doesn’t matter how many times they ask “how are you feeling?”, what is more important is what a person feels inside. If you think that everything is fine, then there is no point in thinking about the issue. A banal answer will do: “everything is ok.” In the event that you yourself understand that something is wrong, it is better to think about how to improve your mood. We'll talk further about how this can be done.

Take a temperament test

What to ask instead of “how are you?”

How are you doing?
What's up?
Like at home?
How are things going, really?
What are you doing?
How was your day?
What happened at work (school)?
What did you do today?
What are your plans for the future?
How are you (yourself)?

All these questions also fall into the category of banal ones. They can be asked to any person, even a stranger. But if you want to show concern for someone, then you need to ask the person exactly what he is living with now. If you are studying, then ask a question regarding school, college, or institute. If you communicate with a young parent, then you need to ask how the child is. Conversations about babies can be truly endless. The only thing that can compete with this topic is a conversation about pets, because they are like children to us.

Passionate people have their own inexhaustible topics: theater, photography, literature, fine arts, dancing, electronics, cars, fishing, football... The main thing is to know what a person is passionate about, and to be at least a little in the subject. And then everything will work out!

How to cheer yourself up if everything is bad?

A bad mood can last a long time. It is even useful to be in this state for some time, but when several days begin and end equally poorly, then urgent measures should be taken. Should you know how to raise the level of positive emotions when everything is bad? There are several ways to do this. They are simple, anyone can do them:

Getting rid of depression ensures that you get your work done. You just need to keep yourself busy. It is better if it is a hobby that brings pleasure. It’s worth putting together a puzzle or carving a candlestick out of wood, knitting a hat or making chair covers. Whatever, the main thing is that the work is captivating and helps you concentrate on the task. Negative thoughts will gradually go away, and the pleasure from the result will remain. Animals relieve depression and bad mood. Even if no four-legged animals live at home, a visit to an animal shelter, a trip to a dolphinarium, or a visit to the zoo will help. Feeding pigeons in the park promotes relaxation, and a homeless animal will be grateful for a delicious lunch. Sports and nature. These are man's best friends

A walk in the fresh air outside the city, a light workout at home or a good workout in the gym, and it doesn’t matter what you choose. The main thing is to relax your soul and body.

Cleaning the apartment, washing the dishes, new curtains - all this can improve your mood. It’s worth coming up with distractions from anxious thoughts

All activities that can attract attention are suitable. Relaxing in a fun company, photographing passers-by on the street, taking a bath with aromatic oils

The main thing is that you like what is happening and give pleasure.

We answer with humor

Everyone is in a bad mood or has troubles, but you shouldn’t pour out negativity on someone who was just being polite and courteous. Bring positivity into life with brilliant, sparkling phrases. Any circumstances can be presented in such a way that it becomes easier for yourself. Here are 20 short, sweet, and witty answers to take note:

herosho (good);
like on an airplane - you feel sick, but you have to fly (one is taxiing, but everyone feels sick);
like in the sea - stormy and sick;
like a failed millionaire, the desire to “be” is still there, but there is no money;
like a native - I go naked, eat figs and have a leader;
like an acorn - you don’t know which wind will blow it away, and which pig will eat it;
and what can be done with such matters;
like an elephant - again with ears on the cheeks;
who knows - does not ask, who asks - does not know;
like potatoes - if they don’t eat them in a year, they will plant them in the spring;
everything is like in a pharmacy - expensive, but necessary;
like a ball - they fool you, they also kick you;
like on the Internet - you click, like and go to bed;
things are covered in chocolate - I get dirty, but I melt;
like in a taxi - the longer you drive, the more you pay;
there’s a lot to do, if you want, I’ll share;
like in a Turkish harem - you understand that they will fuck you, but you have no idea when;
a pile of ashes remains in my soul, and my flesh is worn out to ashes, but my deplorable affairs are in great shape;
take your time?
bad, as usual, but it’s great because the main thing in life is stability.

When is it okay to ask how is your mood?

It’s another thing when you’re at a party, everyone drinks and is happy. Here the question of how you are feeling is very appropriate. In most cases, the person will say something like:

- Actually fire! It's very cool here!

And with such a question, you will, on the contrary, encourage the person. He will begin to say that the mood is “super!” and from this it will improve even more. Yes, and you will feel this charge of lifting. Everyone wins.

That's how things are. It would seem that the question is the same. A matter of politeness, but in one case it brings benefit, and in another it causes harm.

The phrase “how are you?” in different languages of the world

If you want, you can show off your knowledge and ask a question that interests you in a foreign language. It will be very original. You can even use a new language every day.

In English

How are you? [how a yu] - literally: how are you?

French

Comment vas tu? [komon wa chu] - literally: how are you doing?
comment allez vous? [komon talevu] - literally: how is it going with you?

Remember that the stress in French is on the last syllable. Well, and the most informal phrase: ça va? [sa wa]

In German

Wie geht's? [vi gates]

In Spanish

What do you think? [como estas]

In Italian

Come stay? [kome stay]

In Polish

Jak sie masz? [yak shi mash]

In Vietnamese

bạn thế nào? [ban tae nao]

List of answers to the question “What are you doing?”, “What are you doing?” funny, joke

Try to learn how to answer any, even the most banal question, funny and humorous. This will return or set a special positive tone to your relationship with the person. Sarcasm is very popular these days and it is not difficult to learn.

Here are the possible answers:

Completely avant-garde and unrealistic answers: “I make hay” or “I dry crackers.” (A joke that implies that you are not doing anything at the moment).
If you want your interlocutor to smile, try answering: “.”
Try to hint to your interlocutor that you are completely free : “I’m spitting at the ceiling” or “I’m honing the skill of throwing saliva at the ceiling.”
Show your interlocutor that you can spend time together: “I’m just thinking about what to do, any ideas?”
The question on social networks can be answered:
Invite your friend or interlocutor to visit: “I’m tasting different types of tea, do you like tea?” .
Answer truthfully:

Answers for dialogue

Standard answers

“ I’m in an amazing mood, and can you please me with the same answer?
“In this way, you can continue the dialogue with your interlocutor.
“ Normal.
"is an absolutely neutral and unobtrusive phrase. The person makes it clear that he does not want to share his inner experiences;
" Bad
", "
Unimportant
", "
Disgusting
".
People who need to share their experiences answer this question with these phrases. After such an answer, the interlocutor will definitely ask the following question: “ What happened?”
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