Sense of self-importance - what does it mean, how to get rid of it

What does the abbreviation ChSV mean?

SSV - a sense of self-importance - is not just a desire for leadership in any situation. Trying to get ahead and overtake the “competitors,” the CSV-subject in some cases may not have sufficient competence. However, this does not bother him at all. As a rule, a self-sufficient person imagines himself as an all-knowing expert until the moment he is caught as an amateur.

Remember the famous character from the Harry Potter series of books. Professor Chrysostom Lockhart, who has only a basic and, apparently, theoretical understanding of defense against the dark arts, managed to write several books on this topic and even become a teacher at Hogwarts. The truth is, all the feats described in his writings were performed by other wizards, and Zlatopust himself was an ordinary narcissistic charlatan and a flamboyant showman who knew how to beautifully veil his illiteracy.

A person with an inflated sense of self-importance (ESI) strives to attract the attention of others on literally every occasion. Don't be surprised if he begins to passionately express his position, passionately argue and give advice in those moments when no one asked. Tactfully refusing and putting him in his place is tantamount to a sharp answer in a rude form: if you even slightly hint that you don’t need his opinion, this will provoke the anger and resentment of the emergency worker.

Another popular name for FSN syndrome is narcissism. It is extremely important for a narcissist to remain on top of his game in any situation, even in the case of ridiculous mistakes: believe me, he will always find an excuse for his mistakes. Not seeing the thorn in his own eye, the narcissist gets unspeakable pleasure from finding faults in those around him. Sudden remarks that have nothing to do with politeness give him the reputation of being a very “toxic” emergency person.

The main signs of CVS

A sense of self-importance (SIE) can manifest itself in both women and men. Each of us at least once in our lives has encountered so-called “bitches”, who, it would seem, cannot exist without constant disputes and criticism of other people. Such private-sex ladies, as a rule, are extremely demanding of their partners and cannot boast of a large number of close acquaintances.

A man with excessively high self-esteem often uses his membership of the “stronger sex” as the main argument in disputes with women: supposedly due to this, his opinion becomes the only correct one. A man with CVS is always ready to challenge a competitor, is prone to competition and is preoccupied with a thirst for fame, even in narrow circles.

From an early age, Zlatopust Lokons, the negative ESC hero of the book “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets,” was distinguished by his willingness to do anything for the sake of popularity except systematic self-development and work. In terms of his level of competence, he stagnated in one place for years, but this did not prevent his narcissism from crossing all permitted boundaries.

Fooling around (32)

This technique is especially good for those who like to impress others, for those who feel an urgent need to make others look like spectators.

Such people secretly love to attract attention to themselves, trying to seem like the smartest, the most agile, the best athletes, the best friends, the most charming, the most beautiful, the best lovers, the ones. who always has the last word

In short, those who succeed in everything.

One simple way to combat this need is to consciously try to produce the opposite impression. Without telling anyone your intentions, start playing the role of a fool. If you are quick and precise in your movements, start acting out as someone who is clumsy, such as knocking over or dropping things. In an argument, insert meaningless remarks that will make you look like an idiot, and thus lose the argument. If you are used to being seen well dressed, try dressing in cast-offs when going to places where you are used to showing off in public.

And of course, as Florinda said in The Eagle's Gift, anyone who learns to play the role of a fool without being offended can fool anyone.

How is ChSV formed?

Let's talk about the level of self-esteem (LSE) when it has already crossed the threshold of the normal, “average” level and rushed to a higher level. At the same time, we will not take into account the extreme cases of emergency situations described above, but will consider more adequate situations of emergency response.

In fact, high self-esteem (normal heart rate) may well be a good basis for successfully building a career, achieving your goals, receiving recognition and awards. Psychologists agree that a successful person should not be modest, otherwise he will have to “stand in line” all his life. Considering that the queue for a prestigious job, comfortable living conditions, a happy marriage and other “superstructures” amounts to millions of people around the world, a modest person runs the risk of standing around fruitlessly all his life.

Therefore, if you feel that your self-esteem (SER) is not up to the required level, and that competitors are rapidly surpassing you in places where you could collect your own victories, you urgently need to work on your SER. Try the following simple tools to increase your heart rate:

• A conversation with yourself on the eve of an upcoming speech, presentation, or any other interaction with an audience. Even if there are only two people listening to you - for example, potential managers at an interview - plan your speech in such a way that they will be delighted.
• Don't waste time looking for other people's faults. Instead of asserting yourself through someone else's mistakes, focus on your own strengths. Find and try to develop what exactly you can be unique in and stand out from other people. This will help keep HR at an adequate level.
• Don't assert your rightness where it is inappropriate. In simple words, share advice only when you are directly asked for it. If you feel a vital need to constantly express an opinion, then simply start a thematic blog on some popular service.

Inflated self-esteem (high heart rate)

An overestimation of one’s capabilities (inflated HR) results in the idealization of the individual. Focusing exclusively on success, victory, recognition turns into sincere surprise in case of defeat. The reason for failure, in the opinion of the individual, lies in chance, unfavorable combination of circumstances and, of course, in the mistakes of others, and not at all in his personal feelings.

Peculiarities

A person endowed with a sense of self-importance perceives himself from the position of “I am God.” Your own opinion is the only correct one, your appearance is ideal, your actions are exemplary.

Important point! Emergency situations are not always bad and not always good, it’s all due to the lack of critical thinking.

To see the behavior of the FWB, observe the people you know around you. I am sure that such a person will definitely appear among them. This kind of behavior will betray him: instructions, giving advice, humiliation, criticism, insults, ridicule.

This style of communication manifests itself not only in the work environment, but also in everyday life. An example would be a guy humiliating his own girlfriend and elevating himself above her. Thus, he tries to increase his value.

One of the most striking examples of the manifestation of emotional distress is the desire to indicate what to do, insistence solely on one’s point of view, criticism of new proposals or thoughts. Often people do not notice such manifestations in their own behavior. In connection with this, you have to think about how to communicate with the ChSV, because direct indications of his inappropriate actions will not lead to anything good.

What is the risk of heart failure?

Constantly deceiving others, a person with CVS leads by the nose, first of all, himself. In this case, there is no talk of any real development at all. An individual with CVS, who has chosen the path of self-deception and cherishes the “crown on his head,” begins to seriously believe that he has achieved extraordinary heights. The truth is, you have to fall from such a height in the event of a discouraging revelation quickly and... painfully.

Emergency situations always go hand-in-hand with vulnerabilities. Moreover, the further things go, the more the weaknesses associated with emergency situations strengthen their positions. In the depths of his soul, the unfortunate EMS subject understands that he has cut off all escape routes, and to refuse self-promotion is tantamount to admitting himself to be a failure. The internal conflicts of a liar, who fears being caught in a fraud, form a dependence on the opinions of others and quite undermine the narcissist’s nervous system.

It is quite possible to present the illusion of PSV-greatness to society in the best traditions of commerce. Having found the problems and “pains” of a certain group of people, a person with CVS can deftly put pressure on them, and immediately after, “sell” his personality as a guiding star and authority. However, only inexperienced followers, of whom, unfortunately, there are many, are capable of blindly falling for such tricks.

Living in fear of your real self, creating complexes within yourself and breaking your own thinking means sooner or later acquiring an unlimited ticket to a psychiatrist. By the way, a person with CHF Zlatopust Lokons, whom we mentioned above, was a potential client of a specialist in mental disorders.

Differences between selfishness and selfishness

A sense of self-importance (SIE) is, in fact, a synonym for the concept of “self-esteem.” At the same time, emotional distress is quite closely intertwined with egoism and self-centeredness: many people, not knowing the distinctive features of both, confuse these terms. Let's figure out what the difference is here.

Selfishness can often manifest itself in conditions of low self-esteem (low heart rate). Imagine an insecure teenager who is afraid to once again express an opinion in class, thinking that the whole class will laugh at him. At the same time, he does not at all consider it shameful to demand attention from family members, as well as gifts and financial support. A kind of emotional emergency “vampire” with an inflated ego.

Any deviation of self-esteem to a greater or lesser extent from the normal level (overestimated or underestimated heart rate) can give rise to selfishness. At the same time, an adequate degree of self-perception (normal heart rate) will never be accompanied by egocentricity.

Action for action's sake (29)

Any meaningless action is suitable for working with this technique.

It is important to perform it with the utmost care, devoting all your attention to it

As self-important ordinary people, we expect results from all our actions - something like payment - but if we want to become warriors, we must learn to do actions for their own sake. Under normal conditions, we take action only if we deem it important, always obeying the dictates of the ego and its description of the world, while our actions correspond to the dictates of a sense of self-importance

Consequently, any action aimed at weakening the sense of self-importance seems to our ego to be of little significance, and therefore, from the ego’s point of view, such actions should be avoided

Under ordinary conditions, we take action only if we consider it important, always obeying the dictates of the ego and its description of the world, while our actions correspond to the dictates of a sense of self-importance. Consequently, any action aimed at weakening the sense of self-importance seems to our ego to be of little significance, and therefore, from the ego’s point of view, such actions should be avoided

On the other hand, action for the sake of action opens up new possibilities and allows you to gain new experiences, leaves room for surprises, teaches us patience and work without expecting reward. If we do not learn to work without any interest, then performing these tasks of “not doing” may be almost impossible, because the results obtained will not provide the ego with an attractive “reward” for it.

One way to learn to act for the sake of action is to develop a meaningless routine for yourself that you can abandon as soon as it develops into a habit. Here are some examples:

• Say goodnight to your pillow before you fall asleep.
• Walk around your block once before entering your home.
• Arrange the rocks in your garden into piles according to their shape and size.
• Take your kitchen utensils out for a car ride once a week.
• An exercise option could be to perform tasks that require significant effort and concentration, but are also completely meaningless and useless. Examples:
• Carry a large stone one mile and then return it to its original location.
• Dig up a large stump and then plant it back in the ground.
• With great diligence, build a hut in the forest from natural materials (without killing anything living), decorate it, and upon completion of the work, destroy it without ever using it, and return all used materials to the places where you found them.
• Try to carve a figurine out of a piece of wood as best you can, and when you finish the work, throw it into a fire or into a river.

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The more work and time spent on this exercise, the more effective it will be.

Self-esteem (SSD)

HRV is aimed exclusively at external values: recognition in society, wealth, expensive branded items, thirst for flattery, praise and awards. In turn, self-esteem – self-esteem – is a manifestation of one’s internal self-sufficiency. Such value can be formed solely on the basis of an objective understanding of one’s own pros and cons, victories and failures, growth areas in a particular area. In other words, this concept runs counter to narcissism (inflated HRV).

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How to identify a person with increased heart rate

There are several signs by which it is easy to identify a person with an abnormally high heart rate:

• A pretentious tone, often also an arrogant facial expression.
• Defiant, provocative behavior.
• Concern about the impression he makes.
• The desire to talk only about himself: the problems and opinions of others concern him little.
• An acutely negative reaction to criticism of oneself from other people. He doesn't need other people's advice.
• Attentive attitude to anyone's shortcomings except your own, as well as a tendency to condemn and insult. In the name of self-affirmation, of course.
• Willingness to defend yourself, sort things out, argue heatedly.

Advantages and disadvantages

Self-esteem undoubtedly plays an important role in the life of any person. People who underestimate themselves find it quite difficult to integrate into society. A high rating, despite a number of its shortcomings, can also give its owner a number of advantages.

Often, people who are confident in themselves give the impression of strong-willed and successful individuals and achieve their goals more easily and painlessly.

It is difficult to determine to what extent the phenomenon of FSN can cause inconvenience to its owner. On the one hand, nervousness, irritability and conflicts with the environment become his constant companions, on the other hand, he is unlikely to experience pain from experiencing them. This person can be sure that everything is absolutely fine with him, and the reason lies precisely in the desperate imperfection of the world.

How does heart rate manifest?

Excessively high self-esteem usually has the following manifestations:

• Constant thirst for power.
• The desire to buy expensive things and interior items at all costs, even if the private individual does not have the necessary amounts of money and is, to put it mildly, not at the same level of the social ladder where image accessories are important. People call this “showing off.”
• Collecting broken hearts and sexual victories.
• Litigation, defending one's rights where it is not required, in order to make oneself known or receive a cash bonus.
• Attempts to parasitize celebrities.
• Spreading rumors about an allegedly incurable or difficult-to-treat disease, the role of a great martyr. The result is increased attention, compassion, care from loved ones.
• Hypertrophied guardianship, control over destinies, when loved ones are literally not given freedom and independence.
• Focusing on a single area of ​​life, such as a hobby, to the detriment of everything else.

How to deal with emergency situations

Admitting to yourself that you have a problem with HF is already half the success, because this stage is the most difficult. Psychologists talk about what to do next with your emotional narcissism:

• First of all, you need to analyze not only actions, but also the reasons for what is happening. Keep a separate notebook to record the actions, origins and reactions of others. Be aware of your HR level.
• Before you say or do something, try on the role of your interlocutor and evaluate how adequate your attitude is at a certain moment.
• Talk to your loved ones: honestly, openly and impartially. Listen from the outside about those qualities of your character and personal feelings that cause them discomfort.
• Now write down in a notebook all the real achievements that you can be proud of. Soberly evaluate the facts, discarding fantasies and emergency situations.
• Think seriously: what bonuses does the feeling of pompous exclusivity give you? Will something bad happen if you give up this position and reduce your HRV? Maybe there will be less disappointments, resentments, fears and complexes in your life?

Change of scenery (31)

A change in environment for a while can help overcome the obsessive tendency to focus on one’s own self. To be effective, this technique must be used in an environment that is foreign, unknown, and unrelated to your personal history, allowing you to take yourself less seriously. For a city dweller, time spent in the countryside can be very useful, but for this it is necessary to completely abandon all city benefits, otherwise it will hardly be possible to talk about a real change in the situation.

The change of environment in question implies complete integration into the chosen new environment, for which you need to leave behind who you were, learn a new way of being that corresponds to the new environment.

My contacts with Indian communities required fundamental changes in my behavior and way of being, not in order to be accepted, but simply for survival. One of my discoveries was that although my old habits of daily behavior influenced me to continue behaving as before, the new world around me required completely new ways of behaving in situations completely unfamiliar to me, to in which there were no habitual behaviors in my past that I could rely on

I found myself among people who did not speak my language, who did not know about my past, in a situation that required me to give up my sense of self-importance. While a sense of self-importance may have been present in my daily life—giving my existence something like a sense of security—here in the mountains, in the wild among the Native Americans, it had become a mere eccentricity, and an unsafe one at that.

It is important that the chosen environment is as unfamiliar to you as possible, and that the people living there whom you will meet do not share your point of view about yourself