NLP, what it is, methods of influencing men and women, how to influence people

Often in life there are situations when a person thinks that in order to successfully resolve an issue that worries him, he would like to be able to influence his interlocutor. The dream of any businessman is to manage the behavior of partners and competitors. NLP techniques teach how to build communication with people in such a way as to always achieve the desired result.

Success in negotiations

Neurolinguistic programming

Neurolinguistic programming is one of the areas of psychological practice. With its help, people with special skills can influence the opinions of others, correct the interlocutor’s line of thinking, turning the outcome of the conversation in their favor.

Explanation of the abbreviation NLP

NLP is neurolinguistic programming, that is, setting attitudes and tactics between the neural connections of the brain (neuro-) and the speech center (linguistic), thanks to which it becomes easy for a person to analyze and evaluate his own thoughts and desires, as well as influence the thought process and behavior of other people .

All information from the surrounding world that enters the human brain through all 5 sense organs is processed by neural impulses of the brain using speech features characteristic of each nation. A person’s attitude to a particular situation depends on what emotions the received data evokes.

Important! The reality of the objectively existing world is different for each person, since individual perception of reality turns it into subjective.

Subjective perception of the world

How it works

Human life in society is closely related to speech and communication. The construction of thoughts is also not complete without the use of linguistics - people think using speech, each in their own native language. Without NLP, methods of influencing a person do not work, because to control yourself and your interlocutor you need to be able to control the perception of the surrounding reality, which NLP successfully teaches.

Attention! Without projection onto oneself, it is impossible to understand how NLP actually works. In other words, only by applying the methods of influencing NLP on yourself can you understand what it is.

With the help of NLP, manipulation of other people in real life occurs in two main directions:

Verbal. Includes all the features of human speech: voice timbre, volume, intonation, rhythm.
Nonverbal. This includes body language: facial expressions, gestures, breathing rate, facial skin color.

How to take classes

To successfully master basic NLP techniques you will need:

Study the theory, and not just strive to memorize the sequence of actions.
Train yourself by completing the course exercises.
Try to carefully use the learned techniques in practice.

It is the constant application of the acquired knowledge in life that will allow you to truly master neurolinguistic programming. It is also important to note that applying NLP knowledge will increase your attentiveness during communication and teach you to independently model (create) successful methods and techniques.

In addition, to study NLP, it is recommended to master several general rules, the so-called presuppositions of neurolinguistic programming.

Areas of application

Methods of psychological influence - techniques for influencing people

The use of neurolinguistic programming as a technology for influencing consciousness was initially used exclusively for the treatment of phobias. By changing the patient's attitude towards the source of panic fear, psychologists manage to save the patient from painful shocks. Over time, analysts interested in the action of NLP suggested that the method of changing a person’s consciousness at a distance could be useful in other areas. Thus, the practice of influence has significantly expanded the horizons:

In management, successful companies necessarily use NLP and methods for diagnosing the behavior of potential buyers, maximally adjusting the train of thought of people entering the sales area and constructing advertising videos so that as many people as possible want to make a purchase.
Attracting partners and sponsors becomes an easy task if you correctly identify your needs, realistically assess your capabilities and calculate the process of business development. Well-structured negotiations will help you not miss the chance of economic growth, even if it is one in ten.
Help in strengthening high self-esteem for those who are forced to speak publicly is provided by a short course of self-diagnosis.
Recruiting a team of professionals will not take place if the agent does not know how to recognize the inclinations of each candidate, which means that he will not be able to select for him exactly the work that he will do well and with pleasure.
Unrequited love will not torment a woman if she is familiar with NLP and can easily understand what exactly her chosen one is looking for in people, adjusting his needs and improving his traits.
In military affairs, such psychological NLP techniques in communicating with interrogated persons, as well as in conducting intelligence activities, make it possible to obtain maximum useful information without giving away one’s motives.

Wide range of applications of NLP

Reframing (reshaping position)

The goal of this speech strategy is to turn the situation around and force a person to look at the problem differently.

The simplest type of reframing is one-word. Suitable for refuting limiting statements, softening criticism and comments. Replace the unwanted word with a synonym with the desired emotional connotation. And now the former comrade is no longer stupid, but naive; The lady from the accounting department is not pushy, but demanding.

I have a negative attitude towards the substitution of concepts: it does not reflect the situation and does not help in resolving it. If a child deliberately howls at the entire plane, it is unlikely that the mood of passengers will improve if the mother calls him “energetic” rather than spoiled and capricious.

Another type of reframing is grouping. It is divided into “unification” and “separation”. In the first case, the problem is globalized to the level of the crowd (“I’m not the only one who got a D in math, but the whole class”), in the second, it is divided down to the particulars (“What exactly is your misfortune? Not money, a dog or a house?”).

In Lateral Shift you need to use analogies to re-evaluate a situation. Take a negative problem and find an analogy that has new or expanded implications.

The problem has been replaced by a similar one in another area. NLP practitioners believe that as soon as a person finds a solution to a similar situation, the problem will be resolved

You can read more reframing techniques in the book “NLP-2: Generation Next” by Robert Dilts and Judith Delozier.

Possible results of the technique

The main result of studying how NLP works will be a significant improvement in the quality of your own life. Building your thinking allows you to concentrate on useful details. By moving in a given direction, without wasting energy and time avoiding undesirable aspects, you can soon arrange your life so that everything in it brings only pleasure.

How to manipulate people - can this be learned, methods of influence

Increasing the level of personal satisfaction with life is one of the most common goals pursued by society. Learning to let reality pass through oneself in such a way that inevitable negative aspects do not become an obstacle to making one’s own plans is one of the most valuable abilities available to those who study the techniques.

Interesting. Only hypnosis can influence people like NLP, but it cannot be invisible, unlike latent manipulation.

Additional materials

It is impossible to describe all possible models and techniques of neurolinguistic programming within one online course. This is also due to the fact that this research area continues to develop, modeling new psychological and linguistic techniques. Many of these techniques are quite specific, so they will not be of interest to all 4brain readers. To make it easier for you to find the information you need, we decided to provide links to additional materials (books, videos, articles) that are not included in our course.

Books

You can find many NLP textbooks in stores, but often these books contain little useful information. To help you better navigate the literature on neurolinguistic programming, we have selected a list of the most popular and proven books. It included:

"Tricks of the tongue." Robert Dilts.
"From frogs to princes." John Grinder.
“NLP Practitioner: Complete Certification Course. Textbook of NLP magic. Bodenhamer B., Hall M.
"The art of persuasion." Richard Bandler.
"77 Best NLP Techniques." Michael Hall.
And some others.

Video

Due to the fact that many NLP techniques represent specific speech techniques and behaviors, it is difficult to learn all of this just by reading a text description. An important component of training is visual examples of people who have already mastered the required technique, as well as master classes and lectures by leading experts. We also tried to include videos with such examples and presentations in our training and additional materials.

Other materials

In addition, pay attention to our other online trainings that complement NLP knowledge:

Training in public speaking and writing will help you better master your oral and written language skills.
A course of lessons on human psychology will introduce you to the basic concepts of psychology: personality, motivation, society, development.
In leadership classes, you will learn about the qualities of real leaders and management styles.

And finally, some more useful information.

Methods of influence on men and women

How to manipulate a man - what does it mean, psychological methods

The psychology of relationships between people is based on their perception of each other. Using the anchoring technique, it is not difficult to force someone you like so much to involuntarily remember the positive moments spent together, cementing pleasant associations with a specific person more and more firmly in the mind.

Anchoring technique

The technique of influencing a person with NLP anchoring is based on creating a strong connection between the anchor and the emotion it causes. For example, when seeking male attention, a woman can create a situation in which an association arises in a man’s mind, connecting joy with something that would remind him of a woman.

Most often, representatives of the fairer sex who are experienced in NLP anchoring use the aroma of their perfume, fixing it in the mind of a man with his own image. A successful example would be to improve relationships between colleagues if a woman with a memorable aroma enters the office of the man she is interested in just before the end of the working day. Hearing the smell that appears when you can forget about work, a man will subsequently associate the owner of the scent with rest, relief, and joy.

NLP techniques

With the help of speech influence, described in many online sources, it is easier to find a common language with colleagues, raise children, and build relationships in the family. The most popular linguistic influence techniques:

Inertial agreement. It is used when it is necessary to get a positive answer from the interlocutor; for this, before an important question, several unimportant ones are asked, but implying a positive answer - they will push for agreement in the central question.
The illusion of choice. Allows you to make a choice among insignificant options that do not affect the target action (persuading a child to leave the playground, asking whether he wants to stop by on the way to the store or not).
Bonding praise and motive. For example, the phrase “you always make wise decisions, and this time you won’t refuse me” praises in the first part, motivates in the second.

Success is guaranteed with the correct construction of phrases

Speech Strategies

Journalists were using speech strategies long before NLP emerged as a separate field. However, they are good for live communication and work in conjunction with adjustments.

Truisms

Truisms are platitudes that do not evoke the desire to argue. They migrated to NLP from philosophy, their effectiveness has not been proven. A person with critical thinking will easily challenge any truism. I'm sure you will do this with almost every statement below:

good things cannot be cheap;
there are things that cannot be bought;
everyone has the right to make mistakes;
not all yoghurts are equally healthy;
tastes could not be discussed.

In sales, scripts for handling objections are built on truisms. To the phrase “These shoes are too expensive” you can answer “The stingy one pays twice” and sow doubt inside the client. Truisms are rarely used to identify needs in a live conversation: platitudes standardize the client in his eyes and discourage the desire to continue the conversation. But in advertising posters the truism works well: it allows a person to feel part of society and gives positive emotions. No correct experiments have been conducted on this topic, and successful experiences have local subjective successes.

At first glance there is nothing to argue with. But if you think about it: what will strength give? For whom is it priceless? Why feel it?

Chatting

The strategy includes several techniques to create smoothness and expressiveness of speech and an illusory connection between sentences. For example, the use of conjunctions “and” and “but”. Compare offers:

Your hair is beautiful, but short.
Your hair is nice and short.

The first sentence has a negative connotation, the second balances the statements and is positive. Substituting alliances changes the mood of the interlocutor and has a positive effect on him. Of course, there are no facts supporting this. But it actually sounds better.

The second technique is to use the conjunction “and” to connect speech. When I started learning English, I recorded myself on a voice recorder. I listened and was horrified by the pauses and the illogicality of the presentation. To refine my self-image, I used the connective and (“and”) between sentences. So a set of heterogeneous phrases turned into a monologue suitable for listening.

It's the same in Russian. Enter the conjunction “and” and the speech will sparkle with new colors: “And so beautiful is the night. And the stars are shining in the sky. And time flows endlessly."

The following technique is good for written text. Its meaning is to indicate the cause-and-effect relationship between statements:

the less we love a woman, the more she likes us;
the more you want to develop, the more you think about buying a new course;
after you buy noodles, you can buy rolls at a discount;
I won't go to Mars because I don't have that much money.

The basic rule of babbling came from Ericksonian hypnosis - talk a lot, jump from question to question, actively sprinkle speech with prepositions and conjunctions. End the speech with a request. According to NLP legend, a person simply cannot refuse you. It is difficult for me to assess the effectiveness of this method, since I always listen carefully to people and notice outright nonsense.

Sorry for the quality of the video, but it would be a shame not to share it. NLP as it is)

Presuppositions

Presuppositions are speech tricks in which the suggested fact is spoken of as a matter of course. There are many types of presuppositions, so for convenience I have provided a diagram.

All about presupposition in one diagram

The benefits and harms of NLP

In pursuit of success, you can actively use popular techniques, moving towards your goals. If a partner does not know how to recognize NLP techniques in communication, he will follow the invisible path outlined for him without hesitation.

The impact on relationships within a couple can cause harm. If a guy initially did not have tender feelings for a girl, but she programmed him for a relationship, such a union may turn out to be unhappy for the “in tune” partner.

Developing your abilities and becoming deeply interested in human psychology is a useful activity. The human brain is fraught with countless abilities that you need to try to develop, which will certainly reveal your potential and allow you to enjoy life.

Change of submodalities

Submodalities are those elements that make up a holistic picture of our perception of the surrounding reality. With the help of them our attitude towards everything is encoded. The technique of changing submodalities allows us to change our attitude towards something, and we can influence not only the strength of the experiences we experience, but also transform their assessment and subsequent sensations. In addition, this technique is also suitable for changing the assessment of some situation that happened a long time ago, developing motivation, changing attitudes towards another person, etc.

As a rule, the scheme of this technique is always approximately the same: you need to take a situation (person) towards which you need to change your attitude, and a situation (person) in relation to which you experience, on the contrary, positive emotions. Then you need to find several differences between these situations (people) and their submodalities, and replace the submodalities of the first situation with the submodalities of the second. After this, a check is made: if the situation has changed in the desired direction, then the replacement was successful; if not, then you need to return to the previous step and work it out again.

You can learn more about the technique of changing submodalities here.

Video

Coffee capsule Nescafe Dolce Gusto Cafe O Le Coffee with milk, 3 packs of 16 capsules each

1305 ₽ More details

Coffee capsules Nescafe Dolce Gusto Café Au Lait, 16 pcs.

435 ₽ More details

Sounders

Quick treatment for phobias

The rapid treatment technique for phobias is used in NLP to neutralize anchors to any strong experiences, i.e. rid a person of phobias: xenophobia, agoraphobia, nyctophobia, photophobia, claustrophobia and many others. The result of successful application of this technique is the liberation of a person from fears, the release of energy and the emergence of many new opportunities.

The process of implementing the technique for quickly treating phobias consists of several steps:

You need to gain access to a positive state and anchor it, creating a powerful resource anchor. Moreover, it is best if the anchor is kinesthetic.
It is necessary to conduct a dissociative analysis of experiences, imagining yourself before being in a negative state (black and white picture) and after being in it (color picture).
You need to look at yourself from the outside, as if sitting behind yourself in a movie theater.
You need to quickly watch a black and white film, consisting of the first picture, the event itself and ending with a color picture.
Then you need to watch the entire black and white film, but starting from the second color picture and ending with the first, and during the transition to the first picture you need to move to the second degree of dissociation (look at yourself watching the film). After moving to the first picture, the film should end immediately.
You need to think about what was the source of the phobia and note changes in your physical condition.
You need to project the negative situation into the future by imagining interaction with the source of the phobia and thinking about new response options. It is important to clearly define indicators of a feeling of safety or pointers to careful behavior.

You can learn more about the technique for quickly treating phobias on this page.

Model of correct goal setting “SMARTEF”

A huge role in the process of achieving goals is played by the ability to correctly formulate and determine the desired result. Simply put, in order to change anything in life, you need to have a clear idea of what you specifically want. It is the SMARTEF technique that helps to determine and formulate the result properly. Compliance of a goal with SMARTEF criteria greatly increases the likelihood of its implementation. The goal should be:

Specific (you must take into account all the details);
Measurable (you must be clearly aware of all the indicators of the moment when the goal is achieved);
Attractive (the goal must correspond to your beliefs and values, motivate you);
Realistic (you must know for sure that the goal is achievable and what you will need to achieve it);
Time-bound (you must clearly set a time frame for achieving the goal);
Environmental friendliness (you must consider your goal in global terms, and also realize the secondary benefits of achieving/not achieving it);
Positive wording in the present tense (when setting a goal, you must take into account special wording parameters).

We have already touched on the SMARTEF technique in our lesson “Anchoring, Performance and State Management”. If you wish, you can return to it or study the method in more detail here.

Changing your personal history

The technique of changing personal history is used, as a rule, in cases where the behavior that needs to be changed is associated with some events that took place in the past, and is based on connections between the present and the past. Its use allows you to get rid of unnecessary and limiting beliefs, stereotypes, habits, attitudes, methods of response, etc.

The essence of the method is as follows. You need to identify a problem situation or an undesirable state and set an anchor on it. The established anchor must be used to guide the person (or oneself) to the very moment when the problematic situation or experience first appeared, and whenever they are discovered, the context of what happened must be taken into account.

After several (4-5) similar situations or experiences have been found, you need to lower the anchor and return to the very first situation, determine the resources that were required to overcome it, and find the triggering factors. Next, you need to find access to the found resource and anchor it, return to the earlier situation and change its perception, using an existing resource (collapsing anchors are great for this.

After all that has been done, you need to dissociate from new experiences and evaluate the result obtained. If it does not meet the requirements, then you should return to the previous stage of identifying resources and work it out again. Then you need to consolidate the result and carry out an environmental check and synchronize with the future.

You can learn more about how all this is done here.

Reimprinting

The name of this technique comes from the word “imprint”, meaning “imprinting”, i.e. any experience or set of experiences as a result of which a person developed certain beliefs. Often imprint situations are dead ends and cause a person to feel meaningless, hopeless, hopeless, etc. The point of imprinting is to find the resources necessary to change ingrained beliefs and update established behavioral patterns.

The use of the reimprinting technique is based, first of all, on identifying the symptoms of the imprint, which involves focusing on the very first appearance of any experiences associated with it and the beliefs that have arisen. After this, you need to mentally transport yourself to the moment that preceded the emergence of the imprint, return to the present state and look at the imprint from the position that preceded it.

The next stage is the search for positive intentions or secondary benefits that are hidden behind the established reactions and symptoms of the imprint and some other equally important components that require more detailed and scrupulous study.

The features of reimprinting and the procedure for its implementation can be found here.

"Swing"

The presented technique serves to change, within a short time, a person’s destructive type of response to something and replace it with a more constructive one. But the result of this technique is not only a change in the type of reaction, but also the establishment of a positive and productive self-image in a person. “The Swing” can be used in many areas of life, from eliminating bad habits to correcting problematic behavior.

The structure of the “Swing” technique is as follows: first, the context is determined, i.e. a situation to which one would like to change the reaction. Then you need to identify the triggering factors, i.e. those factors that cause the desire to react in a habitual way. This point is the most important, because often the person may not even be aware of it. Determination of trigger factors also occurs according to a certain method.

After this, you need to create an image of the state you want to achieve. Most often this is done using the third perceptual position. The next stage is the “swing” that needs to be performed. It means a very quick replacement of one picture with another (an unwanted image with a desirable one). After the “swing” is completed, you need to check the new state and adjust to the future.

The Swing technique requires more detailed study (this can be done here) and training.

Mechanisms of perception of manipulation

Long before the discovery of the principles of human programming, it was noted that people differ in their types of perception into conditioned categories.

Visuals - gain access to surrounding information mainly through visual images;
Auditory learners - understand the world better through sounds;
Kinesthetics - perceive the world through sensations and touches;
Digitals are people-computers for whom the most important thing is internal dialogue and thinking.

After several techniques, the manipulator will determine the type that has the highest priority for you and will adjust the techniques to pin you down.

Nonverbal psychotechnics

Postures, gestures, facial expressions, and territorial location convey information no less complete than phrases spoken out loud. Knowing how to solve them will allow you to understand the true attitude of your interlocutor.

You can often listen to the advice of a psychologist: “Be yourself, and you will succeed!” This statement is fundamentally wrong. You need to get rid of habits that demonstrate insecurity (twisting objects in your hands, scratching your forehead, nose, ear, hair twitching, etc.) They are perceived as an impulse of tension and insincerity.

Reassessment of the past

The technique of re-evaluating the past helps to change the assessment of any event that took place in a person’s past. It is very effective because... with its help you can influence the assessment of the troubles that have occurred and the beliefs associated with them, change relationships with specific people, and even transform aspects of the perception of childhood. A brief algorithm of necessary actions includes the following:

It is necessary to determine the period of time that requires change and elaboration. It can be associated with a person, place, time, etc. conditions.
We need to create a powerful resource anchor. It is best if it is kinesthetic.
It is necessary to imagine the time period in question in the form of a straight line located on the floor, determine the most significant moments of this period, name them and mark them on the line, observing the real sequence.
It is necessary to divide all noted situations into positive and negative. Then, walking along the line, you should re-experience positive situations anew, and imagine negative ones dissociated, i.e. watching yourself from the outside.
When considering negative situations in a dissociated way, you can use the resource anchor created at the beginning. Sometimes this allows you to look even at negative events from a different angle and see the positive aspects in them.
It is necessary to conduct an ecological check of the new perception of past events and, if the result does not satisfy all the requirements, go back and work through the previous points again.
It is necessary to synchronize with the future, projecting the achieved result onto situations that may occur.

The technique of revaluing the past is discussed in more detail here.

New behavior generator

This technique, similar to the previous one, is designed to help a person change automatic reactions to manifestations of external reality, thereby saving him from many unnecessary problems. Thanks to it, a person’s self-confidence increases, reactions change and positive changes occur in life.

Successful application of this technique involves going through several stages. First you need to identify the situation that needs to be worked out and live it, imagining it in your mind in the smallest detail. Next, you need to imagine the same situation in the form of a film made about you, and feel the emotions that it evokes.

After this, you need to imagine yourself as a cinema operator who puts a film on the projector with a film about you for himself, sitting in the hall. Then you need to imagine yourself as a director and realize the possibility of changing the script; come up with several new options and choose the most suitable one.

The new stage implies that you are again a cinema operator, putting on a new film for yourself, sitting in the cinema hall. Then you imagine yourself sitting in the hall and watching a new film with your participation. As a result, you must imagine yourself as the hero of a new film and live a new situation, imagining it in all details in your imagination and realizing your emotions. It is important that you are satisfied with the new result. If it does not satisfy you, then you should return to the previous points and work through them again.

The result should be the emergence of a new response pattern, but one that will be beneficial. You need to consolidate it by replaying the situation several times, using new reactions. You can learn more about how to do all this on this page.