Men are by nature more reserved and it is sometimes difficult for women to understand what their aspirations and goals are. Besides, there are things that men never say out loud. What to do if your chosen one is often silent? It's actually simple - learn to understand his body language.
What is the main reason for men's silence? How to understand that a man is in love? How to determine by facial expressions and gestures what the chosen one is thinking about? In this article you will find answers to these and many other questions. It is known that love relationships are divided into several stages and at almost each of them women remain perplexed.
Habit of silence
“Why is the man silent?” - a woman who has had to face a similar problem often asks herself. After all, such behavior of a lover leads girls to a depressed state of mind. Often ladies in such cases say to their spouses, sons or brothers: “If you speak out, it will become much easier.” But in reality, such tactics mostly help women who are wondering why men are silent. Representatives of the stronger sex need only one thing: to be left alone in the end and allowed to look at the ceiling until they can find a way out of a difficult situation. They do not want to talk about their own difficulties with relatives, wives, or even more so with psychotherapists, because they consider such behavior a sign of weakness.
Tendency to silence as a character trait
In fact, ladies who are wondering why a man is silent should appreciate this quality in their chosen ones. Representatives of the stronger sex who love silence often have a strong character and developed strong-willed qualities. They are accustomed to spending their precious time not on idle talk, but on useful things.
“Why does a man look and remain silent?” - the ladies think anxiously, while the silence of the chosen one should please them. After all, a real man who proves his own feelings with actions, and not with beautiful words, can become a worthy life partner. But in practice, it often turns out that a woman thoughtlessly falls into the trap of a talker who knows how to beautifully juggle compliments and promises. This leads to the lady ultimately being disappointed. A word always remains just an empty phrase if it is not supported by concrete actions.
A man writes, but rarely – is there anything to hope for?
This situation is not hopeless. If a guy shows at least some initiative, that's not bad. But how to understand his true intentions?
It all depends on the style of communication, intonation, mood, topics of conversation. You need to pay attention to detail. Of course, it is much easier to feel a man’s true attitude towards you through live dialogue rather than correspondence. If you don't see each other, phone calls will save you. But based on text communication, incorrect conclusions are often drawn.
A man can really be very busy at work, school or business. Perhaps the start of your relationship simply coincided with such a difficult period in his life. If at the same time he is truly interested in you, he will make every effort to break out of the chain of affairs and see you.
If the guy just makes excuses and doesn’t even try to set a date for the next date, such a relationship can be considered unpromising.
Reluctance to talk as a sign of impending separation
But the answer to the question of why a man is silent does not always lie in the characteristics of his personality. In cases where the relationship between a man and a woman has completely exhausted itself, and they no longer have anything to talk about with each other, representatives of the stronger sex also prefer to reduce communication to a minimum.
This happens when partners have passed a certain point of no return and become complete strangers to each other. The woman herself often brings a love affair to such a state with her own hands. She starts scandals out of the blue and constantly makes excessive demands on her chosen one. All this leads to the fact that the relationship dies, and she becomes a stranger to the man.
Even if a man continues to love such a lady, he may prefer silence to conversation. After all, if you start talking, then any dialogue will turn into a quarrel. This often happens if a girl has a hot-tempered, conflictual character.
Relationship phases
To understand this system, you need to look again at the individual phases of the relationship:
Infatuation phase
Constantly talking about the past and future plans and spending time together is how it all starts. The main thing: when you are with a man, you put aside your own needs and try new things for the sake of your partner.
Negotiation phase
At this stage, both recognize their partner's weaknesses. This stage is also called “grinding in” - very aptly. Both grumble and criticize, but also spend a lot of time together. Nowadays, everyone increasingly realizes their own desires.
Waiting phase
The following topics are discussed at this stage: accepting each other's shortcomings and reaching compromises or resignation/silence. The daily routine drowns out the exchange of feelings, changes and relationships. In most cases, people only talk about daily organization, home and work life, what to watch on TV, what the children are doing, etc.
Silence may be a sign that:
- that everyone lives their own life, and partnership is only a relationship of convenience;
- that both have resigned themselves, but they still have desires that they think they will no longer be able to fulfill;
- that external goals, such as a career or hobby, are temporarily more important to them.
Fatigue
Often the answer to the question “Why are men silent?” simple: this behavior is due to ordinary fatigue. If the chosen one works from morning until late at night, and then he also has to listen to lectures from management, then by the evening he will have only one desire: to be a little quiet. And if a woman loves her partner, then she should treat his need for rest with understanding. There is no need to force him to waste his remaining energy on communication. When he rests, he himself will show a desire to talk.
Psychologist's advice
- Give the man more personal space.
- Let him get bored, don’t bother him if he doesn’t come back in 2 days, have a serious conversation.
- Before the conversation, get yourself in order.
- Present information without emotion, honestly, listen carefully, with respect.
- You can write a message 1 time. Then wait patiently for an answer.
- A man loves his condition next to a woman. If he feels like a hero, a provider and a protector, he will hold on to her strongly. It is necessary to allow the guy to help and give sincere compliments.
Why does a man alternately show interest and then ignore? This is an attempt at manipulation and a bad joke on a girl’s self-esteem.
Important! A woman should value herself, feel confident, and have adequate self-esteem. True love for the world and others begins with yourself.
A man in some cases can love and ignore. However, demonstrative and prolonged ignoring is not love, but indifference to the feelings of a partner.
Failure
Another reason why a man is silent about his feelings may be failure in some area of life. He could fail to complete a work project, fail to fulfill a promise, or miss out on a lucrative deal. Or maybe his colleague managed to buy a more expensive car.
A sign that signals such a situation may be the words of a man, which he casually throws under his breath: “Stupid,” “Well, I’m a loser,” “How could I.”
Such quiet phrases should serve as a decoding for a woman of the true reason for silence. They should also be used as a guide to action. As if inadvertently, a girl should start praising her man, telling him various unobtrusive compliments. The chosen one must see that the woman does not doubt his wisdom and abilities for a second. In this case, the reason why the man is silent in response is on the surface: he is simply waiting for the woman to tell him how good he is.
Avoids his beloved
Strange behavior of a man sometimes manifests itself in communication between partners. A long connection is suddenly interrupted for several reasons:
- Feels guilty before his friend. The offense can be minor: you broke your favorite cup, forgot to buy the necessary products, overdid it with alcohol at a corporate party. However, knowing the hot-tempered nature of his partner, the guy prefers to wait out the storm away from the angry lady of his heart.
- Love has passed. The young man lost interest in his partner because he felt cold. Fearing a serious conversation, I decided to leave in English, without saying goodbye. And, in order not to traumatize his ex-lover, he tries to avoid unexpected meetings.
- Treason has occurred. Men are monogamous creatures, addicted to nature. Therefore, they allow themselves innocent pranks without interrupting their permanent relationship. To cope with remorse, the guy ignores his beloved under any pretext, fearing that the secret will become apparent.
If a girl is being avoided by a man with whom you are in a relationship, be patient and take a break. Don’t insist on an explanation, let the guy sort out his own feelings and desires. Solve problems as they arise.
Having a secret
Another reason for silence is secret. Often a woman immediately thinks of the worst: he probably has someone else, or he spent all the family savings on booze.
In this situation, the main thing for a woman is to be patient and wait until her partner tells him everything. There is no need to pretend that this situation does not concern you at all: after all, such behavior will still cause concern in any person. But a man must understand that he has every right to his own secrets, and his beloved does not control his thoughts. She knows her worth and therefore will not even think about possible betrayals or flirting on the side.
Also in this case, it is necessary to pay attention to an important point: if a man prefers to keep some information secret, this means that he does not completely trust his beloved. Perhaps, at some time in the past, she allowed herself to scold him in front of other people, or to spill his secret to her friends. All that can be done in this situation is to pull yourself together and wait. Everything secret, one way or another, always becomes clear.
You weren't his type, he didn't like you
This is perhaps the most common reason that explains a man’s behavior after the first date. Women tend to idealize everything, especially if they are single. They can regard even banal politeness as something more.
Don't create illusions, then you won't have to be disappointed. You shouldn’t be upset either, you can’t please everyone. If a man doesn’t call, don’t worry, but try to analyze what caused his antipathy.
Perhaps your appearance or manners make a repulsive impression. In this case, your next gentleman will behave in exactly the same way. I'll have to work on myself.
This simple answer has deep roots. Even though you're having a great time, it doesn't necessarily mean the same thing to him as it does to you. You need to understand whether such a “cool” relationship is worth continuing. Nobody wants to be an “alternate airfield.”
There is no point in wasting time on a person who does not see the prospects for further relationships. Don't call or write to him. Wait until he calls first. Then his motives will be clear to you. And if he doesn’t call, it’s completely clear that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Understand that if a man wants it, he will call, write, come, find the time and resources for this. And there is no need to engage in self-deception, to come up with reasons why he did not do this.
He likes you too much, but he has low self-esteem
Not all men are so confident in themselves as to be convinced that any girl will be interested in them. Some people tend to doubt and worry, especially if the lady they like made a strong positive impression and captivated them at first sight.
They, just like girls, are afraid of being rejected and misunderstood. Give the man time to collect his thoughts and decide to take the first step, because not everyone is able to immediately show attention to their passion and call her on a second date when he has not yet moved on from the first.
Optimal waiting period The optimal waiting period is 3-5 days. If during this time a man has not written, called or indicated his relationship to you in any way, you should not continue to build illusions and come up with excuses in your head.
Even the most modest man will take a step if it is important to him. And if he doesn’t do that, do you need him so indecisive?
Why do men remain silent after a quarrel? Physiological reasons
Often after conflicts, representatives of the stronger sex prefer to be in silence. This also drives women crazy: after all, after omissions, they, on the contrary, want to put everything in its place, bring the dialogue to its logical conclusion. After the conflict, the question of why the man is silent and does not answer takes on a dramatic character. Often the lady herself begins to try to get her chosen one to talk, but in this case the conflict can only get worse.
You shouldn’t do this, because in reality, representatives of the stronger sex who prefer to remain silent after a conflict are saving their strength. Men and women experience quarrels differently, with the stronger sex being more vulnerable. At the beginning of a conflict, its representatives' heart rate increases sharply and their blood pressure becomes higher. They remain in this state longer than women. The heart begins to beat in men 20-30 beats faster than usual. And such changes occur rapidly in the body, so that a man cannot restore his condition after a conflict for a very long time.
Women, on the other hand, feel more comfortable voicing complaints. If the weaker sex keeps silent about grievances, they eventually develop into psychosomatic diseases - such as stomach ulcers and colitis. Psychologists do not recommend that ladies accumulate negative experiences within themselves. You can release them only by talking about them. But it is not necessary to do this in a conflicting manner. It is always better to talk about your needs using “I” messages, doing it in a calm tone. For example, instead of blaming a man for coming home too late, it is better to say: “I get very worried when you come home after midnight.” In addition, working with a psychologist can be of significant help.
We have looked at most of the reasons why a man is silent. The psychology of the stronger sex differs from the behavior of beautiful ladies. This must be kept in mind during a showdown and never bring your chosen one to a state of white heat. After all, the very behavior of a lady often provokes the stronger sex into silence.
If a woman lives peacefully with her lover, without quarrels and conflicts, the question of why the man is silent should not worry her. After all, there is no reason to believe that his current isolation lurks a threat to the relationship. The members of the couple must learn to understand each other without unnecessary words. With your loved one, you need to not only enjoy long conversations, but also be silent together.
