Is nostalgia good or bad? Nostalgia for the past and childhood

October 31, 2018
Psychology of Personality
Nesteruk Olga

Every person at times in his thoughts returns to his past, feels sad and remembers past times - this is nostalgia. This state is most typical for older people who realize that their life has passed, it is too late to start something new, and all that remains is to rethink everything they have done.

What is nostalgia?

The word “nostalgia” is of Latin origin and is translated as “longing for one’s homeland.” Previously, nostalgia was considered a mental illness, because cases of death from unbearable homesickness are not uncommon. At one time, nostalgia was studied by a doctor from Switzerland named I. Hofer. He followed sick soldiers and those students who were forced to stay outside their state, and noted that when they returned home, they quickly recovered and recovered. Today, this term is already applied to a certain feeling that is experienced to all important events experienced in life.

Yearning? No - pleasant nostalgia

If you want to get rid of longing for past relationships, for people you had to break up with, and get a lasting result, you must understand the characteristics of your psyche and the psyche of those around you. This will help you see the cause-and-effect relationships of the events that happened in your life, and memories of them will become pleasant nostalgia. Listen to how this happens after training in system-vector psychology:

There will be no more painful breakups, and melancholy will become a forgotten feeling. You will be able to build happy relationships and enjoy life. You can do this now by registering for a free online training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan - here.

Author Alla Zhalkovskaya

The article was written using materials from online training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan

Depression and nostalgia

Still, missing the old days, you can even fall into despondency and depression, because the feeling of nostalgia is actually very insidious. When a person remembers something, he reproduces not the course of past events, but his personal subjective assessment of everything that happened. This is where the main paradox lies: people yearn and feel sad even for the most terrible events from their past.

You can feel nostalgic for divorce or separation from a loved one, and even for lack of money. No matter how wonderful it is in the present, a bored person will still feel that it will never be better than it once was. Because of this, he can fall into such a strong depression, from which it will be difficult to get out without the support and help of a psychologist.

Is nostalgia good or bad?

This term cannot be given either a positive or negative connotation. Melancholy can be combined with a feeling of hopelessness and bitter unbearability, or it can appear sweet and captivating. Nostalgia is good, and many psychologists who study attitudes to this feeling in different cultures, religions, and philosophical movements agree on this. By yearning, a person affirms the identity of his “I”, the connection with the early stages of life is strengthened, the continuity of generations and high moral ideals and values come to the fore.

Nostalgia for the past

If in a new place nostalgia for your native place, for the past arises, the first thing you need to do is place photos of your family and friends everywhere. You can always maintain a relationship with them - call, text, chat on Skype. To cope with such melancholy, you should under no circumstances become slack, you need to load yourself up with various interesting events, do not give yourself time for nostalgia, you can really overwhelm yourself with work. In your free time from work, you can meet with friends, read an interesting book, go for a walk, and have fun. What does nostalgia mean? These are feelings of despondency and boredom, so you should do everything possible to get rid of them.

How to deal with nostalgia?

If this is a bright and warm feeling, then there is no need to resist these memories. It is necessary to say thank you to fate for this experience and move on. If a strong feeling of nostalgia brings only melancholy, pain and sadness, then it is necessary to find an incentive - something worth continuing to live for. The best way is to help those who are even worse off, who are in a difficult situation. You can turn to God for help and get advice from a priest. Any church minister will say that despondency is a sin and indulging in it means pleasing the devil.

Life is given only once and if you always live in the past, then you won’t see the present. After all, what nostalgia is is sadness about bygone times, but someday the current moment will also become the past and a person will begin to regret it. And when then to live? But we must live here and now, enjoy every new day and thank fate and God for what it gives.

Longing for childhood

Of course, the feeling of nostalgia for childhood is familiar to everyone; it connects a person with the parental home, the affection of the mother and the severity of the father, and the aroma of culinary delights. Naturally, childhood is gone irrevocably, parents grow old quickly, you have to become adults and learn to solve your problems on your own. To miss your childhood a little, listen to nostalgic music, watch your favorite cartoon is not at all scary. It is much worse not to remember what your parents taught, not to listen to the advice they gave, because a person is only alive as long as they remember him.

Self-development without tricks

This is an article about attitude towards yourself and life; Here we consider such an interesting phenomenon as nostalgia for the past. The article, in a sense, complements my recent material about what to do if you are tired of life.

It is human nature to feel nostalgia for one’s past. There are many reasons for such sadness:

1. Over time, negative events and unhappy days are washed out of memory. Memory usually stores good things - and therefore the past is idealized.

2. Usually, with age, a person changes a lot - for example, he becomes more confident and experienced. But at the same time, he feels that naivety and rose-colored glasses had their advantages and joys.

3. Most of our steps in life, most of the decisions we make, narrow the options for our possible future. By taking one job, you lose the potential opportunity to get a dozen others. If you buy a car, you are unlikely to have a car of another make and model for some time. The thousands of choices we make every day continually narrow the number of roads we can take. There is nothing wrong with this, but a person is designed in such a way that he strives to have a lot of everything, or better yet, A LOT (money, food, square meters of living space - and options for the future too).

These three reasons are present in everyone’s life in one way or another, therefore nostalgia is common to everyone to one degree or another. Actually, it’s absolutely normal to sometimes sigh and yearn for the days gone by.

It’s bad when this melancholy crosses a certain line and begins to greatly influence one’s worldview, way of thinking and actions. If a person begins to live in the past (and this happens not so rarely), then negative consequences are possible. Here are some of them:

1. Biased attitude towards reality: everything is perceived through the prism of the past.

2. Unconscious fear and rejection of new things, which makes it difficult to adapt to new conditions and impairs learning opportunities.

3. Inability to enjoy life as it is. If a person lives in the past, the present brings him much less happiness than it could.

In general, worldview and way of thinking are the basis for all other personality traits, such as self-confidence, motivation, and so on. So the appearance of one or another “distortion” in the consciousness - excessive nostalgia for the past, professional deformation, and so on - can lead to negative consequences in life.

The reader is already waiting for an answer to a question like “how to get rid of nostalgia”? There is no doubt that excessive fixation on the past needs to be corrected. But the thing is that most questions that begin with “how” (how to develop self-confidence, how to gain willpower, and so on) need to be answered in the spirit of: “think about it, understand yourself and consistently implement it.” There are no special secrets here - just a conscious attitude towards life, a clear and clear understanding of oneself. You just need to honestly answer a few questions:

1. What exactly attracts me in the past?

2. How does my nostalgia affect my life? Does it bring any benefit (at least moral satisfaction) or vice versa?

3. What actions would be rational to take?

It sounds simple, but it's not always easy to do.

As an example, let’s try to analyze the “subtype” of longing for the past. (You must understand that below is a generalized analysis; it is much more effective to do it from the perspective of your personality, individually)

Nostalgia for childhood

People very often feel nostalgic for their childhood. There is no point in describing it for a long time - you probably understand perfectly well what I’m talking about. Sometimes childhood may seem like the only time when a person leads a normal, happy life. There are so many new and interesting things around that there is simply no time to be bored, no dull everyday life. There was a whole life ahead - thousands of roads. And most importantly, you yourself were different, simpler, more honest, better...

These are wrong thoughts. Human life consists of different periods, each of them has its own joys and makes its own demands on a person. And the task of everyone who wants a happy life is to live in harmony with these joys and requirements.

Childhood is good, first of all, because much is given as a FREE gift - and life does not require anything in return. I mean first of all the joy from life, which is gradually disappearing.

She doesn't leave. It’s just that a person cannot enjoy the same thing for decades. Growing up and development makes us look for more “complex” joys. If in childhood a person absorbed them from the outside, now he needs to create them himself.

Childhood is a time of FEELINGS.

Maturity is a time of ACTION. What kind of action? Everyone has their own: creativity, the path to a cherished dream, relationships...

This is why nostalgia appears: acting is more difficult than feeling. Are you feeling homesick for your childhood? Or maybe you're just too lazy to get your butt off the couch?

In my opinion, constantly experiencing nostalgia for childhood (and the past in general) is a betrayal of oneself. Life is too short to truly live in the first ten, fifteen, or twenty years.

Good luck!

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Why do we feel nostalgia

The emergence of nostalgic memories occurs in each person due to different circumstances. Experts identify several of the most common human conditions in which people become more prone to nostalgia:

Dissatisfaction with oneself, what is happening, the present reality;
Own uncertainty, self-doubt;
Loneliness, feeling of uselessness and helplessness;
Severe fatigue, excessive physical and mental stress;
Non-acceptance by society, loved ones, misunderstanding;
Feeling of vulnerability of any nature (emotional, financial, etc.).

In such states, which have a negative impact on mood, emotionality and mental stability, a person is prone to nostalgic experiences in order to fit into a comfortable environment. Memories of pleasant events have a positive effect on the production of happiness hormones, which a person so lacks in moments of vulnerability.

Scientists have proven that a feeling of nostalgia helps a person regain self-confidence, increases self-esteem and helps a person feel important again.

Thus, well-being and mental state improve, mood improves and the person gets rid of those factors that oppressed him. That is, nostalgic memories are a tool that a person uses in order to regain mental and psychological balance.

Memory and emotions, without realization, give rise to a feeling of longing for the past

Now let’s imagine a person with an anal and visual vector at the same time. Yes, we usually have several vectors.

Thus, the presence of an anal vector in a person determines his good memory and focus on the past. And the visual vector “swings” emotions. If such a person is not sufficiently realized, then melancholy, and even along with fears, is guaranteed. In the anal-visual ligament of vectors, a dull feeling of longing for something that can never be returned can arise. It will seem like everything was better in the past. Longing will be directed to the past.

Longing is an emotion that is difficult to cope with if you do not understand your nature.

The role of nostalgia in human life

All people have a past, it is impossible to get rid of it, unless, of course, we are talking about individual cases when amnesia (memory loss) occurs.

What role does nostalgia play in a person’s life? If we talk about nostalgia as a way of a defensive reaction, then nostalgic states can largely protect mental states from past experiences or failures. This happens because in most cases, memories are processed, that is, negative emotions and unpleasant memories are eliminated and replaced with positive and pleasant ones. Thus, it is easier for a person to survive any stage of life without being subject to constant regret about what was done.

Nostalgia allows you to move on, live life to the fullest and not look back at past failures and problems that cannot be changed, but can be avoided or prevented in the future.

Nostalgia is one of the mechanisms of reflection. Thanks to memories, a person is able to draw conclusions based on them and analyze his actions. In this way, people can understand what skills they lack and engage in self-education, or learn to control their emotions, realize themselves and even find new goals in life.

Nostalgic moods allow a person to gain new motivation in achieving desired goals or improving their standard of living. For example, remembering how it was not easy for their parents to provide for them in childhood, a person works hard and strives to earn as much as he considers necessary to provide for his family. Or they understand how much work it took to provide for a family for their parents and they want to thank them, for example, by providing them with everything that their parents refused for a long time for the sake of their children. There are a large number of such examples; in different cases, nostalgia can have different effects on people and encourage them to commit certain actions and make decisions.

Can nostalgia hurt you?

Excessive nostalgia can be dangerous and harmful to humans. First of all, nostalgia is an illusion and it is worth remembering that our memory is capable of erasing negative moments that would bring nostalgic memories closer to real ones.

Immersed in exclusively pleasant memories, a person stops reacting positively to reality with all the small problems that can happen in our lives. This makes the person himself regret that he is in this time and cannot return everything back. Such thoughts cause uncertainty, helplessness and dissatisfaction with life.

There are situations when a person’s psyche seems to have blocked some negative memories, and excessive nostalgic memories can activate them again. These could be childhood mental and psychological traumas, situations that have already happened once in the past. As a result, a person again plunges into those experiences that can cause even greater harm to his psyche and lead to the development of mental illnesses that have a detrimental effect on his health and condition as a whole.

Excessive occurrence of memories of the past can develop a higher level of infantilism in a person. Infantility is a condition in which childish behavior patterns are preserved, that is, a person is considered psychologically immature.

Such a phenomenon as excessive infantilism leads to the fact that a person loses the ability to bear responsibility, make independent decisions and exist among adults.

When can nostalgia appear?

When exactly can people feel nostalgia? Experts primarily correlate the occurrence of a nostalgic state with mental causes, the mental and psychological state of a person. For example, in moments when a person experiences stress for a long time and is exposed to stressful situations, he tries to psychologically escape from what is happening. There are many ways to get away from stress, for example, doing what you love, taking a walk and listening to music. Other people try to immerse themselves in a nostalgic state, which makes their souls feel warm and calm, as if they are trying to escape from reality.

Sometimes our memories emerge unexpectedly, such as seeing an object, smelling a familiar smell, or hearing a song. There are times when you smell a familiar smell from childhood and by chance memories from childhood arise from this smell. For example, the well-known smell of autumn leaves or freshly cut grass can remind a person of childhood walks with his parents, which brought a lot of joy and happiness. Or the taste of your favorite sweets from childhood and even porridge prepared by your grandmother.

As for music, well-known and familiar songs and individual sounds can also awaken memories of moments in life where the song was played. Sometimes such songs are also called iconic or in a group of people they consider it “their” song and associate it with shared pleasant memories and events from the past.

Some psychologists associate the emergence of memories of smell, taste or music with emotional anchors. An emotional anchor is the object with which the occurrence of a certain emotion or mood is associated. That is, a person’s state seems to become attached to a specific thing and in subsequent meetings with this object it arises again. In extremely stressful situations, a person may even feel déjà vu.

Nostalgia can be caused by different triggers

Nostalgia of modern society

In modern society, nostalgia is perceived differently by each person. However, experts identify several eras, periods of time, about which modern people are nostalgic much more often. Of course, the object of nostalgia largely depends on the person’s age. We will consider these periods further.

Many people whose childhood was in the 90s remember this time with warmth, even despite the fact that this period of time was very difficult. At that time, children's entertainment was walking on the street and inventing all sorts of active games, for example, Cossack robbers.

It was then that the first games and items appeared that all the children of the 90s dreamed of - Tamagotchi, Tetris, Dandy consoles and others. And now adults, when they see these toys, involuntarily associate them with their childhood and that time period, their friends and other memories.

This period of time is best known for the fact that the Olympics were held in Moscow, and new technical means appeared that were previously inaccessible to people. The Olympic bear, tin badges and the first bouncy balls - all this allows people to plunge into nostalgic memories.

USSR

The period of the Soviet Union is remembered by many people with particular nostalgia, mostly due to the fact that people were united by a special atmosphere of unity, brotherhood and sincerity. Such landmarks are valued by many people even now, although in modern society they are much less common, according to some people. This is why people tend to be nostalgic for those times when everything was so simple and sincere.

(h2) Is nostalgia good or bad?

Many people are concerned about whether this is a good thing or not. For each person, the nostalgic mood is felt differently. For some, this literally becomes a salvation from life’s difficulties, which is confirmed by many psychologists. Others experience negative emotions, associating bright sadness for the past with weakness and excessive daydreaming. It all depends on the character and psychological characteristics of people.

Nostalgia is a controversial phenomenon. So, for example, in the event of the loss of a loved one or his death, a person falls into nostalgia. He remembers what united them, what his favorite dishes were, words of encouragement that are so necessary in difficult life moments. Thus, with the help of nostalgia, a person better experiences separation and psychological shock after what happened.

In other situations, with constant memories of one’s loss, obsessive and excessive nostalgic states, the mental state can collapse and the person becomes susceptible to mental disorders. The inability or difficulty in experiencing loss to stop nostalgic attacks can cause serious harm to a person, up to the emergence of suicidal thoughts and the desire to leave for someone who is no longer around.

A simple explanation of why you shouldn't live in the past

To begin with, let's say that letting go of the past is difficult. It was not for nothing that Stevenson called memories “magic clothes” that we wear for a long time, ignoring reality. A source of joy with a pleasant aftertaste becomes like a drug.

What is valuable to a person is something for which he had to make an effort. Our certificates, diplomas, cups and even photographs are objects of pride, proof of work and success, as well as the fact that we are worthy of respect and recognition. Sometimes the only thing we have is our past accomplishments. Meanwhile, all these are just footprints in the sand, and we are ready to sit next to them, admiring them and not moving.

Unpleasant memories of old misconceptions, grievances and mistakes are important because they become a reason for excuses. Analyzing the past, a person calms down in the trap of his own memory and finds those responsible for his current failures. Hours are spent figuring out how past decisions and actions influenced fate. It even leads to absurd assumptions.

A person changes, and the past frozen in memory prevents development on the path to goals. Personal life and career seem ruined, parents are seen almost as villains, destroyers, and without reason, illogically. But we cannot find true peace and happiness in the past. It is necessary to learn to live in the present as quickly as possible.

Is it bad to live with memories? Yes, because these are invisible but strong shackles, a symbol of slavery, an escape from reality. A little nostalgia doesn't count; there's nothing wrong with it. You can’t just immerse yourself in the past all the time.

Those who love the old, “better” times will lose their motivation for further action and will be left with nothing. And those who nevertheless understand the unproductiveness of life with caution will regret the wasted years or decades.

Delving into the past is wrong from a psychological point of view. This is how we become deprived of living emotions in the present, fill our lives with ghosts, and rob ourselves.

10 Tips to Overcome Excessive Nostalgia

To overcome excessive nostalgia, experts advise following a few simple tips. However, in cases where you cannot overcome your excessive tendency to nostalgia, and this really worsens your life, then you should consult a psychologist to solve your problem.

How to overcome excessive nostalgia?

Try to find a new passion, hobby, or activity that can distract and keep you busy.
Engaging in new activities has a beneficial effect on a person, lifts your mood and broadens your horizons.
Try to communicate more with your friends and make new acquaintances.
Pleasant meetings and interesting conversations will create new memories, perhaps much better than those left in your memory from the past. And you will want to receive new emotions from people and live in reality, not in illusions.
Remember that the past cannot be changed and you need to act in the present moment. This is the only way you can achieve success, improve your standard of living and enjoy what you have now.
If you are going through a separation or have moved to another place and miss the people who are there, there are now a large number of technological devices and applications created. This way you can stay in touch with loved ones, share photos, incidents and stories from your life and maintain communication despite the distance between you.
Remember that any changes are normal.
Create comfort around you so that you can feel protected and enjoy what is happening and what kind of people are next to you now.
Be mindful of changes in your life.
Accept new phenomena in life as a new stage in which you will be even happier and more successful.

Bonus - 5 simple tips on how to get rid of depression:

Do you remember how, as a child, after an injection you were treated to something sweet - and your mood immediately lifted? This will work now! After all, sweets produce endorphin in the body - the hormone of happiness. Buy a cake, pastry or just chocolate, pour some hot strong tea and relax in a comfortable chair. Such a pastime will lift your spirits and give you strength.
Another way to get a dose of endorphin is through physical activity. Go for a run, fitness, gym... This will not only lift your mood, but also help tone your muscles.
This method is especially relevant and popular for the fairer sex - shopping. If you don’t have enough money to buy something new, you can just call your friends and have fun trying on a variety of outfits. It's great to go to a fancy dress store and see yourself in different looks.
If you feel sad because you don’t have someone to talk to, a great option is to get a pet. No matter who you choose, the animal requires care, participation and communication. If you are needed and loved, then your mood lifts!
Well, perhaps the most effective and fun way to get rid of depression is sex. It will cheer up both you and your partner, give you a boost of energy for the coming day, or allow you to fall asleep sweetly for the coming night - it depends on who you are.

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