8 main problems of modern teenagers: causes and solutions

Growing up is the most difficult period in the life of a child who has suddenly transformed into a teenager and for this reason may be confused. He has not yet adapted to his new self. Parents are often no less stressed because of this. But they are able to cope with their problems and at the same time help the child survive the age crisis.

In this article we will look at the main problems of adolescence, their causes and possible solutions. Let's discuss how parents should behave with a difficult teenager, and why all teenagers are problematic at their age.

Problem 1. A deceptive sense of independence and adulthood

As a rule, adolescence begins with the teenager’s declaration that he is an adult and is now able to decide everything for himself. Everything about homework, which you can now do or not do, late walks with friends, as well as shopping, which does not necessarily need to be agreed upon with your parents.

The arguments of adults that they provide all the material resources, and the same pocket expenses, not to mention the food in the refrigerator, do not reach the child. He grew up, realized this and naively thinks that he has become independent.

Reason: a complete lack of life experience in a barely mature teenager.

The problems of modern youth lie in the uncontrolled consumption of a huge amount of available “adult” information, which no one is able to analyze and correctly evaluate without the help of an experienced mentor.

With questions like “what is good?” today no one has to go to mom or dad. The answers are widely presented on the World Wide Web.

What to do: it is important for parents not to let things take their course, giving their children absolute freedom. They may learn something from their mistakes, but it is better to warn them against these mistakes in a timely manner.

Overprotection and total control are also unacceptable in this case. You need to act very unobtrusively, showing sincere interest in the teenager’s activities, hobbies and experiences, taking into account his opinion and showing your love.

You should not condemn his actions and evaluate them by criticizing them. And most importantly: parents and children must be able to listen to each other - it is this skill that underlies mutual understanding.

Why parents often don't understand their teenagers

The closest people who can support a teenager during this period are parents. But most adults are immersed in their own problems, and often the parents themselves are in a midlife crisis, which is layered on top of the teenage crisis of their children.

The child, to whom parents have become accustomed in recent years - obedient and affectionate - quite unexpectedly becomes cold, distant and snorting, unwilling to participate in joint activities. In many ways, this can offend parents.

But this process is called separation - the separation of a child from an adult in a psychological sense. The child is trying out adult life, trying to be independent. This causes quite difficult experiences for parents; it often seems that it would be better if the child did not grow up: the parent really does not think so; rather, such thoughts speak of the importance and severity of his experiences. But it is important to understand that the separation process is natural. And although it is painful, you must not disturb it.

An important factor in perception is parental anxiety - the need to know where the child is and what is happening to him. And here two questions arise: how tolerable is anxiety for an adult and what does he do to cope with it?

If you imagine parents of teenagers 30 years ago or earlier, when there was no way to call and find out where the child was, parents had to adapt to the circumstances: the child went to school, came home in the evening, and no one worried. And now parents have the opportunity to constantly know about the whereabouts of the child - this can develop into overprotection, which will cause strong protest from the teenager.

Parents often express dissatisfaction with the appearance of teenagers, their hobbies, and devalue them, saying that this is nonsense. This offends teenagers - a cartoon that seems incomprehensible and unimportant to adults can be very valuable for a teenager. But the point is not for the parent to like the teenager’s hobby, but to respect his values.

Do not forget about the stereotypes that adults are prone to: this often concerns education, especially higher education, sexual behavior, and behavior on the Internet. Often, adults do not understand teenagers and believe that they are influenced by culture and fashion, which distract them from something really important. And the teenager sees his parent as misunderstanding, devaluing, insensitive to needs and disregarding personal boundaries.

All this can happen against the backdrop of the parent’s absolutely good intentions to prevent difficulties and help the child adapt to adulthood. But not all of these methods can be effective for the generation that lives now.

Problem 2. Irritability

Increased nervousness is a very noticeable feature of adolescence. This gives rise to many conflicts. Any prohibitions and misunderstandings on the part of parents are met with hostility. A teenager in a state of irritation may show aggression, say something rude, or throw an object at the wall.

The reason: this behavior is based on rapid physiological changes and hormonal surges. The nervous system takes some time to adapt to the new functions of a maturing body.

In addition, not all teenagers strive for independence; for some, this new responsibility seriously frightens them, makes them nervous and snaps.

What to do: the first thing adults need to do is not to get irritated in response, that is, not to become a negative example.

The second is to discuss the problem, in this case irritability, after the attack has passed and all family members have calmed down.

And third, explain that rude behavior can only cause pain, offend, and seriously ruin relationships with loved ones.

Yes, an irritated child will get rid of his negative emotions, but he is unlikely to experience relief, thus provoking a conflict.

Problem 3. Closedness

Starting to grow up, yesterday's child often becomes secretive. He has new needs, which he prefers to keep silent about. He is more and more interested in virtual communication and less and less in real communication, with parents and even classmates.

He finds new invisible “online” friends with whom he can feel free to discuss the most intimate issues. After all, during a conversation he does not have to look someone in the eyes.

Reason: The need for anonymous communication most often arises from the fear of being criticized, humiliated and ridiculed.

What to do: despite the child’s desire to spend all the time alone, parents should not provide him with such an opportunity. It is necessary to carefully offer him options for spending time together - cycling, going to the cinema or playing sports together.

There is one trick that parents can adopt - in a family where there is more than one child, you can entrust the role of negotiator to the older brother or sister, whom the teenager most likely trusts more.

Problem 4. Gadget addiction

The picture when not a single meal is passed without a mobile device, and the smartphone is used even at night, reducing the duration of “children’s” sleep, is familiar to literally all parents. Attempts to take away gadgets lead to serious conflicts.

The reason: lies in the huge number of functions of the gadgets that they have.

Teenagers are very active and curious individuals. They absorb tons of new information, because every day they have hundreds of questions related to their rapid growth.

In addition, they need to discuss everything important and observe the lives of their peers and their idols on social networks. An exciting and dynamic modern life is simply unthinkable without technical innovations.

What to do: It is important for parents to take into account that the problems of teenage children often originate in their family relationships. If an adult does not part with a smartphone or tablet, even when going to the shower, he is not setting the best example.

A way out of the situation of addiction must be sought together, spending more time on real communication, walks and active recreation.

Features of adolescent development

Puberty is the most difficult of all stages of child development. The stage under consideration is also called transitional, since the so-called “transformation” of a child into an adult occurs, the transition from childhood to maturity. This transformation affects all aspects of a teenager’s life, his anatomical and physiological formation, intellectual and moral maturation, as well as all subtypes of activity, namely: gaming, educational and work.

At the stage of puberty, the circumstances of a child’s existence and his activities change significantly, which leads to the need to transform mental processes and break old, previously established forms of interaction with peers and adults. Educational activities are complicated by increased demands, increased workload, and the emergence of new sciences that need to be systematically studied. All this requires mental processes at a deeper level: thorough generalizations and reasoned evidence, understanding of abstract connections between objects, and the development of abstract concepts.

In addition, the teenager’s principles, worldview, social position, and position among classmates undergo significant transformations. The child begins to play a more significant role in the school environment and family. In this regard, he begins to face more demands from society and parents, which become more serious and thorough in content.

In the process of complex educational activities, the intelligence of adolescents noticeably improves. The content of the sciences learned at school, the modification of the nature and content of educational activities develop in them the ability to independently think, generalize, reason, analyze, compare and summarize.

In addition, the described stage in the maturation of a child’s personality is also marked by puberty, which seriously complicates the passage of the developmental stage in question.

Problem 5: Trying to prove your worth

Wanting to act independently, the teenager begins to refuse to fulfill requests, much less demands, or acts in defiance.

Reason: this behavior is most often provoked by the imposition of excessive demands on the child from others. By going against the rules, the teenager tries to prove his worth.

What to do: To avoid conflicts, parents should not put pressure on their child. In a situation of protest and disobedience, you need to listen to the opinion and reasoning of the teenager, allow him to express his thoughts.

By the way, among peers this mechanism works in a similar way - for some reason it is forgotten that teenagers are also demanding of their friends. It is important for both sides to learn to listen to each other and show respect.

Problem 6. Unrequited love

This feeling provokes apathy or serious resentment, which a teenager in love projects onto everyone around him, with the exception of the object of love, which can ultimately result in depression.

Reason: romantic age, desire to love and be loved.

What to do: The psychology of adolescence is too deep, but parents often make serious errors in their value judgments, omitting comments like: “how many more of them will you have?”

Such advice and encouragement only aggravate the situation - a child who has fallen in unrequited love for the first time becomes very vulnerable, experiencing moral suffering of such strength that it even has physiological manifestations.

Adults who are definitely aware of what emotions the unhappy child in love is currently experiencing should offer their unobtrusive support. Recommend reading articles or several posts on social networks on a suitable topic, reading blogs and public diaries of peers, watching a film about unrequited love.

It is also important to prevent a teenager from lowering his self-esteem during a period of unrequited love. It is necessary to support him, convincing him that he is not bad, just that the object of adoration is not yet ripe for high feelings.

Problem 7. Relationships with parents

Adolescence is a challenge for all family members. Yesterday's children, who considered all the information received from their parents to be the truth, begin to doubt the correctness of their permanent mentors. On this basis, misunderstandings may arise, and, as a result, quarrels and resentment towards each other.

The reason for changes in relationships is due to the fact that children change a lot, grow up and need to move to a new level of communication with their parents.

It is important to understand here that a teenager, unlike a child, needs personal space much more.

What to do: you should not approach a teenager with instructions and you should not unceremoniously interfere in his life. Instead, you need to try to understand and, if possible, share his interests with the boy.

An adult should learn to ask the right questions and give discreet recommendations that will not be received with hostility.

For example, if a teenager’s clothing does not comply with the rules required at school, the father or mother should not force his child to change clothes immediately, but rather praise his trendy look, but ask him to change it to a more suitable suit for school.

What causes teenage problems?

Before you try to neutralize teenage problems, you need to carefully delve into their roots. A problem is considered resolved only when its cause is identified and eliminated.

The main causes of difficulties in adolescence:

Wrong upbringing. Some parents do not consider it necessary to take into account the psychological and physiological characteristics of their child when choosing educational measures.
Intensive growth of the body. The physical appearance of the child changes before our eyes. Skin problems appear.
Puberty, accompanied by hormonal changes. At the end of this period, the reproductive system will be finally formed.
The emergence of a feeling of adulthood. The desire to prove to yourself and others your independence. Parental control is perceived as a burden that needs to be gotten rid of.
Craving for the company of peers. The desire of a teenager to become the same as all the other teenagers who make up his environment.
Lack of necessary experience of life and interaction with society. At the same time, the teenager actively pretends that he knows everything and can do everything.

Most often, teenage problems are the result of improper upbringing. Many parents prefer to solve problems with their child through pressure, while the child needs support and understanding.

Problem 8. Changes in appearance

When boys' voices break, their limbs lengthen, and girls' shapes gradually and not quite evenly round out, and all this is accompanied by acne, few people manage to avoid the feeling of their own inferiority.

Everything is greatly aggravated by the fact that among peers, some mature earlier and others later. Comparing appearances to a disadvantage gives rise to a huge number of complexes.

Reason: individual physiology, characteristics of the body.

What to do: the arguments of parents who consider their offspring the most beautiful do not work here. Of course, adults can show their photographs and talk about how they managed to cope with similar experiences, grow up and even forget about the problems of those years.

But the main thing is to assure your child that everything that is happening now with his body and appearance is normal, and he can always get detailed advice from his mother or father.

It is best to adapt to the period of puberty together - a child who is experiencing serious mental, emotional and physical shocks needs support and a deep understanding of the situation from the parents. Adults do not need to be afraid of this time.

Perhaps a psychologist will be a more competent mentor for a teenager at some point. And this does not mean that the parents failed. This just means that the parents are doing everything right and are trying very hard to support their rebellious teenager.

Common Teen Problems

Maria, the mother of 14-year-old Kirill, says: “My son returned home late almost every day. He seemed moody and absent-minded, wore long hair, did poorly at school, and ate little. When I found a pack of cigarettes in his jacket, I realized we had problems.”

Adolescence is an age of change. Teenagers are vulnerable and can develop bad habits that can develop into serious problems in adulthood. Quite often, teenagers have behavior problems, and parents cannot do anything about it.

Let's look at what problems teenagers face most often and what parents can do about it.

How to Deal with Teen Problems

Adolescence is not easy for both children and their parents. The only way to cope with the problems of adolescence is to know everything about them and be prepared for them. Let's look at the most common problems teenagers face.

1. Physical changes

Physical changes in teenagers occur due to changes in their hormonal levels.

Girls develop breasts, and this can be uncomfortable at first.
Girls are becoming aware of their figure.
Boys' voices break and facial hair begins to grow. This is the most noticeable change that happens to them during adolescence.
The main problem for teenagers is acne.
In adolescents, muscle mass increases. Sometimes this leads to excess body weight.
Body odor increases.
Girls begin their menstrual cycle.

Recommendations

The best way to help your child get through this period is to tell him about the changes that are happening to him.

Explain to your teen that body changes are normal. Every teenager goes through this.
Help your teenager adapt to changes: acknowledge the changes yourself and help your child recognize them.
Encourage your child to eat a healthy diet and exercise. This will be the key to their health and good physical shape.

2. Emotional changes

Changes in hormonal levels cause not only physical, but also emotional changes in adolescents.

Adolescence is a transitional period between childhood and adulthood. Teenagers are often embarrassed by this: they, like adults, have responsibilities, and like children, they have desires.
Teenagers can be overly emotional (and this is also due to hormones). Literally anything can make them happy, sad or angry.
Teenage girls are too vulnerable and often cry.
Frequent mood swings are common to both boys and girls.
Physical changes cause self-reflection in adolescents.
Children who reach puberty early may feel strange.
In adolescence, children often realize their own inferiority or, conversely, superiority over others.
During adolescence, children often have thoughts about sex. This may make them feel guilty.

Recommendations

Adolescence is a period of constant changes in emotions. And that's okay. You can help your child cope with emotional problems.

Help your teen take care of himself. Tell him that it is normal to feel the way he feels.
Encourage your child to exercise. Physical activity maintains the level of the “happy hormone” serotonin in the body, which is responsible for positive feelings.
Let your teenager talk. Listen to him without judgment. Don't give him advice if he's not ready for it.
Talk to your teen about your teenage years. This will let him know that it is normal to feel the way he does.
Motivate your child to do what he enjoys, as this will help him channel his emotions in a creative direction.

3. Changes in behavior

Emotions that overwhelm a teenager can lead him to impulsive behavior, which, in turn, can harm both himself and others. Impulsive behavior is typical for children at this age and lasts throughout adolescence.

Adolescence is a time when children strive for independence. They question the rules set by their parents and do what they themselves think is right.
Teenagers' brains develop rapidly. This makes them capricious and stubborn.
Hormonal changes in teenage boys push them towards physical confrontations. They also like to listen to loud music.
In an effort to become more independent, teens want to try new things and take risks. This manifests itself in careless behavior.
Sometimes peer pressure and the need to conform to their company's rules create bad habits in teenagers that are then very difficult to change.
Teenage fashion changes frequently. You may not like your teenager's clothes or hairstyle.
The most dangerous thing about adolescence is that a teenager can get involved with bad company and develop dangerous habits.
Lying is one of the most common behavioral problems among teenagers. Teenagers lie to avoid conflicts with their parents or out of fear.

Recommendations

Behavioral problems in teenagers bring a lot of inconvenience to parents. But remember that this is a temporary stage and it is quite normal.
To correct a teenager's behavior, it is important to gain his trust. Talk to him and listen to him. Don't criticize - it can only make the situation worse.
Let your teenager know that you love him for who he is. Motivate him to always remain himself, and not adapt to others.
Remember that a teenager is to some extent dependent on his emotions, and therefore needs your support. Help him: tell him what you do when you feel sad, angry, jealous, etc. Your tips will help him cope with his own emotional problems.
If you see that your child is in bad company, you need to intervene. However, remember that teenagers are sensitive and can take criticism seriously.

4. Smoking , alcohol and drugs

Teenagers are easily influenced by bad influences. The biggest problem facing parents of teenagers around the world is smoking, alcohol and drug use.

Most often, teenagers try cigarettes, alcohol or drugs under peer pressure.
The tendency to engage in risky behavior prompts many teenagers to try alcohol or drugs before they reach adulthood.
“Thrills,” if not stopped, can develop into a bad habit.
If one of the teenager's parents smokes or drinks alcohol, this can become a role model.
Low self-esteem or the desire to appear “cool” can push a teenager to use alcohol or drugs.
If alcohol or cigarettes are easily accessible to a teenager, he or she will be tempted to try them.

Recommendations

Be attentive to your child's behavior. Pay attention to whether he loses his appetite, whether he sleeps well, and whether he has sudden mood changes.
Do not monitor your child or accuse him of any wrongdoing. Encourage him to be honest and share his thoughts with you. Discuss his problems with him.
If your child doesn't want to talk to you, doctors may ask him a few questions to find out if he is using alcohol or drugs. Do not force your child to take drug tests, as this may lead to conflicts between you.
If absolutely necessary, seek help from a doctor.

5. Learning difficulties

Adolescence is the period when children graduate from school and prepare to enter higher education institutions. They have more activities related to their studies.

The pressure to do well and get into college can cause stress and sadness in a teen.
The need to study homework, study with tutors and do household chores often leads to overwork.
Activities that distract a child from studying are a recipe for poor performance and additional pressure on the teenager.

Recommendations

Support children's desire to learn. They need it to achieve success in life.
It is worth reducing the number of household responsibilities for a teenager so that he can concentrate on his studies.
Eating healthy and exercising can help your teen gain strength and stamina. The child needs this to cope with difficulties during this difficult period.
If you feel that your child is overloaded with tutoring sessions, reduce them. A teenager does not have the same stamina as an adult, and he gets tired faster.

6. Health problems

Teenagers are often vulnerable – emotionally and physically. Without proper nutrition and taking care of their health, they are susceptible to various diseases.

Teenagers often have busy schedules. Between classes they do not have time to rest and eat properly and because of this they do not receive enough nutrients.
Body image thoughts can lead teenagers, especially girls, to eating disorders. Girls worry about their appearance and weight, which can cause anorexia or bulimia.
Stress in teenagers is a recipe for loss of appetite or insomnia.
Lack of healthy eating and physical activity often leads to obesity. This happens, for example, when a child eats high-calorie foods, fast food and carbonated drinks.

Recommendations

Parental guidance can help teens cope with health problems and develop healthy lifestyle habits. As role models for your child, encourage them to eat healthy foods, exercise, and get enough sleep.

Make sure your teen is getting the right amount of nutrients. Make sure your child has a balanced diet.
Provide your teen with emotional and physical support. This will help him cope with a variety of troubles.

7. Psychological problems

Research has shown that about 50% of mental disorders affecting adults begin around the age of 14 years. A third of deaths that occur in teenagers are due to suicide due to depression. Therefore, if your child is subject to frequent mood swings, suffers from insomnia or loss of appetite, you should seek help from a specialist.

Teens may have problems with self-esteem or self-confidence. Feelings of inferiority or, conversely, superiority often arise due to the appearance or acceptance of the body by adolescents.
Poor academic performance and low intelligence can also reduce the motivation of adolescents. They develop an attitude that they are not good enough.
One of the most common psychological problems affecting teenagers is depression.
Teenagers can experience anxiety from constant stress, and mood swings often lead to conduct disorder or oppositional defiant disorder.
Eating disorders are also associated with psychological problems associated with a teenager’s low self-esteem and his desire to change his appearance at all costs.

Recommendations:

Although tantrums and mood swings are quite common among teenagers, they are not the only evidence of psychological problems in children of this age. Identifying the symptoms of such problems can be difficult and sometimes requires the help of a specialist.

In many cases, living a healthy lifestyle and talking to your teen about their problems can prevent depression.
If your teenager experiences frequent mood swings, you should seek help from a specialist.
Sometimes a teenager only feels bad at home, but feels quite normal with friends or at school. Talk to your teen's teachers and friends about how he is feeling. If there is still cause for concern after this, take action.
Don't ignore your teen's feelings, as this may make the situation worse.
Encourage your child to communicate with you. Talk to him yourself. If you think your teen will have a hard time talking to you, talk to him in the car where you won't be face to face.

8. Dating and relationships

During puberty, teenagers begin to be attracted to the opposite sex. During this period, their genital organs begin to develop. Teenagers may feel awkward in a variety of social situations.

Teenagers are in search of an image of their own “I”. They look for role models at home or among their social circle.
Teenagers often think about what actions are right and wrong. They doubt many things.
Teens need time to explore and accept their sexuality. Both girls and boys experience “strange” feelings towards the opposite sex and often don’t know what to do about it.
During adolescence, children begin to date. They are reluctant to talk about this with their parents.
Another important aspect of a teenager's social life is competition. Teenagers compete with each other in everything. This shows their self-esteem.
Thoughts and feelings related to sex may seem wrong to a teen. He may feel guilty about this.
The teenager's social circle expands. He communicates with friends in person, by phone, on social networks, etc.

Recommendations

Dating and relationships are sensitive issues that a teenager may be quite reluctant to talk about. Don't put him in an awkward position. If you talk to a teenager about such topics, do so confidently and judiciously.
Accept the fact that your teenager spends more time with friends than with you. Just let him know that you will always be there when he needs it.
Share your life experiences with your teenager. Tell stories that happened to you as a teenager. This may be helpful.

9. Sexual health and sexually transmitted diseases

The development of secondary sexual characteristics in adolescents makes them feel unfamiliar and encourages them to explore their bodies.

At this age, teenagers have their first kiss, first slow dance, first date, etc.
Without parental guidance, a teenager may become sexually active before he is ready. This may lead to unwanted pregnancy. This is the biggest risk teenage girls face.
Unprotected sex can also lead to various sexually transmitted diseases.

Recommendations

Talk to your child about sex life. Your task is to explain to him the importance of safe sex.
Hormonal changes cause teenagers to act impulsively. Therefore, you should talk to your teenager about the consequences of unprotected sex and how it can affect the rest of their lives.
Awareness is the only way to prevent early pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases in teenagers.

10. Internet - addiction

The advent of social networks has changed communication between people in many ways. The Internet especially affects teenagers.

Teens can spend hours talking on the phone, chatting on social media, or just playing games.
Teens who overuse the Internet tend to have fewer friends and a less active social life. They spend time alone in front of the monitor.
Internet addiction also reduces adolescents' physical activity. This creates an unhealthy and sedentary lifestyle.
Internet addiction negatively affects the academic performance of adolescents.

Recommendations

If a teenager spends a lot of time on the computer, this does not mean that he is addicted to the Internet. But he could make better use of the time he spends on the computer.
Do not prohibit your teenager from using the Internet. This will only make him more stubborn. Instead, motivate your son or daughter to do other things.
You can control your child, but he will probably perceive it as hostile. Remember that he is no longer a baby and has the right to make independent decisions. Help your children make the right decisions, but never make decisions for them.
Organize events that get your teen interacting with other people in person, such as family dinners.
Set limits on the use of electronic devices in your home. For example, determine the hours when your teen is not allowed to use a cell phone. Also prohibit keeping a phone in your teen's bedroom, as it may interfere with their sleep patterns.

11. Aggression and cruelty

Aggression is especially common among teenage boys. Their muscles develop, their voices become rougher, and they gain height. They also become more emotionally vulnerable.

Teenagers often get into fights at school.
Worse, they may start to bully their peers. This could develop into a serious problem.
Teenagers may fall in with bad company and commit illegal activities.
Teenagers' impulsive behavior can have serious consequences. According to the World Health Organization, 180 adolescents worldwide die each year from peer violence.

Recommendations

Teach your children kindness and consideration in their relationships with others. This will prevent possible manifestations of aggression.
Prevent your teen's access to alcohol and dangerous objects (such as weapons).
Teach your child compassion. Show him a good example of this.
Try to protect your child from violent films, books and television shows at an age when he still does not distinguish between what is good and what is bad.
Offer your child sports and exercise as a way to release negative emotions. This way he will understand that it is okay to be angry if you find an appropriate way to express your anger.

When you are aware, it means you can help

You were once a teenager yourself. But once your child enters adolescence, you feel like you know absolutely nothing about teenagers. Understand that you have already been through everything that your teenager faces. Be attentive and try to understand how he feels. This will help solve many problems.