Excessive responsibility: 9 thinking traps that prevent a person from achieving success

1. What is a sense of responsibility
2. Feelings of guilt: always destructive?
3. Are guilt and responsibility mutually exclusive?
4. Feeling of shame

In one of the previous articles, we touched on the topic of what a feeling of imposed guilt is. And in this material we propose to talk about the relationship between feelings of guilt, responsibility and shame . Thus, there is a point of view that the feeling of guilt is a priori destructive (that is, any guilt is equal to imposed guilt - such as is discussed in the previous material). According to this theory, adult self-sufficient individuals do not have such a feeling: they are characterized only by responsibility. Others have a different opinion (and it is closer to us): that guilt and responsibility are different feelings, while guilt can also be constructive. We invite you to make your own decision based on the material presented below.

Self-deprecation

Many people tend to downplay their strengths. Such individuals focus on their negative sides and give them too much importance. People with low self-esteem are constantly faced with failures, which only strengthen their negative opinion of themselves.

The solution to the problem in this case can be a frank conversation with yourself. Suppose a person feels that he is not suitable for the position he occupies in the company. He should ask himself what is stopping management from firing him. It is possible that these are abilities and talents that he simply does not notice in himself.

A person with low self-esteem may think that he is not worthy of the attention and love of other people. He needs to think about what makes his family and friends happy to spend time with him. It is likely that these people see his positive traits, which he simply ignores.

Put Ethics First: What to Do When You Have a Very Flirty Coworker

In the closet or on the windowsill: how to equip an impromptu home office

Chat with friends: what to do after your salary to make you want to work more

Right and Wrong Questions

In the service sector

In the field of management

For managers

For subordinates

Expecting the worst

Constantly expecting the worst is another common thinking trap that many people fall into. Sometimes anxiety brings real benefits to those who are affected by it. It allows you to avoid dangerous situations and cope better with your affairs. However, if anxiety never leaves a person, he can only dream of achieving success.

Analysis will help you cope with constant anxiety. It is necessary to imagine the worst case scenario and weigh the likelihood that it will come true. Then you should ask yourself what you can do to prevent this from happening. You should also think through your actions in the event that a negative scenario comes true, and realistically assess the possible damage. It is possible that the danger is not at all as great as it seems to a person who is captured by anxiety.

Constant work in this direction will lead to the fact that anxiety will arise less and less often.

High responsibility. Is it always justified?

Lecture “Is high responsibility always justified?”

Today we will talk about responsibility and ways to distribute it among family members. Let's figure out what responsibility is?

Responsibility

– a strong-willed personal quality, manifested in the exercise of control over human activities.

Responsibility as a personality quality is the ability to take on the burden of making a decision, to hold accountable for what is done, to be responsible for what is assigned, to voluntarily accept punishment for what is done incorrectly, not only when the acceptance of responsibility is initiated by the “responsible subject” himself, but also when he is formally or informally assigned control over manifestations of group activity and its consequences. Responsibility in psychological literature is defined as the desire to understand the consequences of one’s behavior, as a means of external (internal) control and regulation of an individual’s activities, as a volitional quality associated with the moral and value orientation of the individual. Responsibility, as a volitional quality of an individual, includes the need to give an account of one’s decisions and actions, to be responsible for their results and possible consequences.

There are external (assigning responsibility from outside: punishability, accountability) and internal forms of self-regulation (when a person controls his own activities: a sense of duty, a sense of responsibility has been formed).

I propose to consider the stages of formation of personal quality as responsibility.

Volitional qualities are not given at birth and are formed only in situations that require their manifestation. The ability to foresee the final result of their actions and deeds, to take responsibility and manage their actions, according to Lidia Ilyinichna Bozhovich, is not possessed by all mature, formed individuals. Psychologists believe that if you develop and train these abilities in childhood, then in adulthood you can achieve greater agreement and perfection in managing yourself.

Experimental studies by Z.N. Borisova, A.I. Zhavoronko, K.A. Klimova, L.S. Slavina and other authors indicate that a responsible attitude towards assigned duties and their fulfillment are formed in children in preschool age. By the age of five, a child learns and follows the rules of collective life, despite the fact that these rules are not yet sufficiently understood by him.

Bozhovich L.I. notes that in the game the child obeys these rules not by force, but by his own free will. While playing, children experience satisfaction and joy, and this “leaves a bright emotional imprint on these very rules, requirements and norms.” The game requires “self-coercion” from the child, and not “external” coercion. L.I. Bozhovich gives an example of a game played by D.B. Elkonin with his two daughters (5 and 7 years old). He offered them a game of “sisters”. Following the rules of the game, the girls stopped quarreling, which often happened in everyday life, and tried to behave as sisters should behave. This shows that "the game not only has a plan of action, it builds real relationships."

Stages of developing responsibility

Up to 2 years

- the age when the child is not able to trace the connections between his actions and the consequences that occur. For him, every consequence comes “suddenly.” He is guided by the reaction his mother and other loved ones give, and gradually “learns” what not to do, but only because it has repeatedly caused a negative reaction. There can be no real responsibility for either appearance or toys, and there is no point in demanding it. For now, the baby needs an adult, a “guide” who will help him understand this difficult world.

From 2 to 3.5 years

- This is the period during which most children experience the so-called “three-year crisis.” As a rule, it begins around 2.5 years. A child’s behavior often resembles a provocation: he, knowing the prohibitions, “checks” whether what is “not allowed” is really not allowed. During this period, the boundaries of desirable and condemned behavior are outlined, and the more clearly they are outlined, the more “support” the child will have to understand which behavior is considered responsible and which is not.

3.5-5 years

. This is a good time to begin developing responsible behavior. Of course, there are many areas where parents must continue to monitor the child's behavior and tell him what to do. But it is already possible to identify several areas for which the child should be responsible. This could be, for example, responsibility for one’s own toys and things (“lost it yourself, look for it yourself”), simple household chores (put spoons on the table for everyone before a family dinner). There should be few such areas for now, because these are only the first steps in comprehending responsibility, but they must necessarily exist.

At this age, most children already attend kindergartens, and there they are instilled with a certain responsibility: for the safety of their belongings, for handling shared toys, for following the rules of the group. If the child does not attend kindergarten, then parents must acknowledge his personal responsibility in some matters. If parents consider him to be “too small” and do not allow him to have personal areas of responsibility, then this can lead to the child getting used to being led. It is worth noting that a child of this age evaluates actions (his own and others) only by the consequences they carry. If an outwardly correct action brings a loss rather than a gain for the child, then this behavior will not be consolidated.

For example, 4-year-old Sasha puts away his toys himself, but he has his own “system” that his mother does not like. After Sasha’s cleaning, mom, grumbling, rearranges all the toys. Obviously, after correct behavior (cleaning up toys) negative consequences occur for Sasha (mom swears). The feeling of responsibility for his things fades away, Sasha immediately prefers to entrust the cleaning to his mother.

Age 5-7 years

characterized by the child becoming more and more responsible. In most cases, he is aware of what behavior will be approved and what will not. At this age, children learn to evaluate actions not only by the criterion of what consequences they entailed, but also by what internal motives the person committing this or that act had.

For example, in the senior group of a kindergarten, a story is discussed about how a girl, having decided to help her mother, began to wipe the dust and accidentally broke a vase, for which her mother scolded her. Children, who are still at an earlier stage and know how to evaluate behavior only by its consequences, will say that the girl did an unambiguously bad thing, taking into account only the broken vase and her mother’s dissatisfaction. Children who have already begun to develop this ability will say that the girl’s behavior was correct, because she tried to help her mother, did a good deed.

It is this emerging ability to understand one’s own and others’ internal motives of behavior that is the basis for future responsibility. For some children it begins (just begins!) to develop at the age of 5-7 years, and for others only closer to 10-11 years. It would be wrong to demand too much responsibility from a 5-7 year old preschooler. At this age, a child should have his own “areas of responsibility” related to personal belongings and toys, maintaining a decent appearance, understand the importance of caring for nature and things that belong to others, and have an initial understanding of his own responsibility for health. But all this is still far from our adult level. These concepts are just being formed, and mistakes are inevitable.

For example, a child may well not take into account that you should not put juice next to the computer keyboard. Or that you don’t need to “help” your mother by trying to replant the flowers yourself. An adult should now be an attentive mentor to whom the child can turn, guiding (but not pushing!) in the right direction. All children reach an adult level of responsibility at different ages. For some this is 17-18 years old, but much more often it is around 25 years old. It is during this period that the awareness of complete personal responsibility for one’s own life occurs. However, there are still people who shirk responsibility, even after crossing the thirty-year mark. What can you do to prevent your child from being one of them?

Areas of responsibility

First you need to determine what important areas of responsibility there are in the life of a preschooler. They are all worthy of development. Perhaps, at different times, different areas of responsibility will dominate your educational position, but one way or another, preschool age is the time when the “seeds” of each of them must be “planted.”

There are four types of children's responsibilities that even a small child can comprehend:

• careful attitude towards your health

(how to avoid catching a cold, getting hurt, etc.);
• respect for others
(don’t make noise when grandma is resting, etc.);
• careful handling of clothes, toys and other things;
•
responsibility for the words spoken
(promise - do).

• Responsibility for your own health, safety and life

  . It begins to develop around 2.5-3 years, when the child begins to realize that certain of his actions pose a danger to him. Parents restrict some areas quite strictly: electricity, hot objects, high altitudes are prohibited. But in some areas they already appeal to the child’s sense of responsibility: “Now you need to take this medicine. You need it for your recovery. You want to get well, right?” This gradually develops the child’s consciousness and helps him trace the cause-and-effect relationship between his decision and the consequences (positive or negative) that may occur.

• Responsibility for actions related to the well-being of loved ones and other people

  . Remember: “Mom is sleeping, she’s tired, so I didn’t play…”? This poem is about how a girl deliberately chose this behavior so as not to disturb her tired mother. This is responsible behavior towards loved ones. Of course, it is sometimes difficult for a little person to limit his activity and take into account the interests of loved ones. But, for example, the difference between a mischievous three-year-old and a “serious” first-grader in this aspect is obvious. But only if parents pay attention to this and try to make the child understand: his behavior affects the attitude of other people towards him.

• Responsibility for pets

  .
  If you have an animal in your house, then the child should have responsibilities (even small, but daily) to care for it. Even children as young as 3 years old can have their own responsibilities (for example, helping mom wash the feeder). It’s true that you shouldn’t place too many responsibilities on your child. A child of this age is easily distracted and
  has little understanding of the concept of time, so it is better not to assign the responsibility of feeding the animal to him.

• Responsibility for your own things

  . The older a child gets, the greater his responsibility associated with the safety of his things: clothes, toys, furniture in his own room. As for toys, the baby begins to understand his responsibility for their condition at about 3 years old. Before this, he may throw the toy in anger if something doesn’t work out for him. But a three-year-old baby, after his mother’s reminder “don’t hit, otherwise he’ll break,” calms down quite quickly. From the age of about 3 years, it is important to teach the child to be responsible for keeping his “household” in order. Of course, the stage of conscious cleaning will not come soon, closer to school age, and maybe later. But parents can get creative with this process and organize cleaning and play at the same time.

• Responsibility for the word given and the decision made

  . In general, this is a broad concept, and it can be applied to any of the points, and parents usually draw their attention to the importance of the child “keeping his word.” “You promised to put away the toys, keep your word!” - such phrases are often heard from parents. They are in many ways necessary for the child to understand: he is responsible for the words he says and the promises he makes.

• Responsibility for your own successes, and especially failures

  . It is necessary to draw the child's attention to the importance of his personal efforts to achieve something. This begins before the age of 1.5-2 years, when the child learns to eat and then dress himself. Attentive parents encourage the child's success, but are in no hurry to help him when something does not work out. And in the future, when the baby learns the world of a variety of things and toys, it is better not to overdo it with help. Let him ensure that the blocks from the designer fall into place, the apple is washed, and the bed is made. You can help with advice, suggest something, but doing for the child means blocking his own responsibility for the process.

• Environmental responsibility

  . Unfortunately, parents increasingly forget about this type of responsibility. How bad it is when a child throws a chocolate wrapper on the ground or pulls tree branches, and the adult walking next to him does not react to it in any way! Be sure to pay attention to how neat your child is outside and emphasize the importance of caring for nature.

Education strategy.

Karina, Lida and Masha are mothers of 5-year-old children, they often meet on the playground. They are concerned with issues of raising children. Karina argues that children should be given freedom, but freedom without restrictions is permissiveness. Lida says that a child must grow up freely, almost without restrictions, in order to grow up to be a creative person. Well, Masha firmly defends her line of upbringing: the child is still too young to know what is good and what is bad, and everything should be decided by the parents. Who is right?

The formation of responsibility begins with the style of parenting: authoritative, permissive or authoritarian.

• An authoritative parent combines a high degree of control with acceptance and support of children's growing independence; There are clear rules of behavior, and the parent discusses them with the child. Such parents raise the most responsible children.
• Parents of the permissive style hardly limit the behavior of their children, and when they try to limit, they do it so uncertainly that the child does not obey. The family maintains a kind, cordial atmosphere. But such children experience difficulties in situations where they need to restrain their impulses or postpone pleasure for the sake of business.
• The authoritarian style of parental behavior consists of strict control over the behavior of children who are excluded from the decision-making process. Whatever happens, “order is order.” This style of parenting leads to the suppression of initiative and the desire to make one’s own decisions for fear of punishment. And ultimately, either the grown-up child begins to rebel and gains independence, breaking all ties with his parents, or remains an irresponsible performer for the rest of his life.

The “golden mean” is, of course, an authoritative parenting style, because it balances the necessary control over the child’s behavior and providing him with reasonable independence.

HIGH RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CHILD.

IS IT ALWAYS JUSTIFIED?

EQUIPMENT:

ball, chalk, blank sheets of paper, handouts.

I. Warm-up

Exercise “Presentation”

Each participant characterizes himself as a parent with three adjectives. Everyone else asks questions on the essence of these qualities (the qualities must be only positive), and the person representing himself must give arguments in defense of these qualities.

II. Sense of responsibility. How to share it with your child?

Game – discussion “Where do you stand?”

Goal: learning to conduct a conflict-free discussion on a proposed topic, using knowledge, improving the ability to listen, hear and respect someone else’s point of view, and the ability to convince another.

Using chalk, the audience is divided into two parts and signs “+” and “-“ are placed. Participants take a position of neutrality (outside the designated parties).

The psychologist pronounces one or another pointed statement, the participants choose and take the position “+” (agree) or “-” (disagree). If one of the participants has not decided, then for now remains in a neutral position.

Sample statements:

• Parents must always be responsible for the actions of their children.
• If a child argues with his parents, he is poorly brought up.
• It is a parent's duty to protect your child from all harm!
• The more problems a child encounters in life, the more independent he will be in adulthood.
• The child must have areas of responsibility.

Each participant who takes a position expresses his opinion accurately and concisely. First one side speaks out, then the other. Participants can change their minds and switch sides.

Exercise “Give Some Responsibility”

(3-4 parts of the exercise are performed at home with the child)

1 part

Each training participant is given a list of traits.

Assignment: choose those qualities that bother you in your child and write them down on a separate piece of paper.

• Doesn't do homework
• Doesn't look after pets
• Refuses from group games and activities
• Leaves dirty dishes
• Has high demands on himself
• Does not understand the feelings and experiences of other people
• Watches a lot of TV
• Doesn't study well
• Has low self-esteem
• Brings friends home when parents are away
• Runs away from home
• Fights with brothers or sisters
• Often argues with adults
• Refuses to comply with requests
• Has unwanted friends
• Often loses control of himself
• Seems indifferent to others
• Rude to teachers
• Often fights at school/kindergarten
• Often irritates adults on purpose
• Throws tantrums
• Doesn't clean his room
• Smokes
• Doesn't put his toys away
• Cries when you fail
• Lies
• Sleeps little and restlessly
• Demands money
• Asks a lot of questions, but rarely waits for answers

part 2

Distribute the selected qualities into the proposed table.

Part 3

In the section “List of events affecting your life and the life of the child,” discuss each item with the child and draw up an agreement that takes into account the interests of both the child and yours.

For example:

In the clause “Watches a lot of TV,” the joint agreement stipulates the topics and time of viewing television programs. Particular attention should be paid to the consequences if the contract is partially or completely violated. The types of consequences can be varied: bedtime (earlier), deprivation of entertaining television programs, etc.

Part 4

For each item in the section “List of events affecting the life of a child,” an agreement is drawn up. Thus, parents begin to delegate problem solving to the children themselves. The main thing is that the form of transmission is based on trust in the child, which will allow him to show interest in independent actions. If the child’s reaction turns out to be unexpected for you (irritation, refusal, request to get rid of responsibility), then it is better to calmly listen to the child and gently repeat that this is exactly what you want to do.

III. Final part

Exercise 2. “Should I or Want?”

Replace the words “must”, “obligated” with “want” in the above statements. What feelings arise when pronouncing these phrases?

Exercise 3. “An armful of responsibilities.”

One parent is asked if he can walk along a line drawn on the floor. Then he is given boxes, symbolizing various kinds of duties that a parent “should” perform. With an armful of ethical “responsibilities,” it’s much more difficult to walk the line. Interpreting this allegory, parents come to the conclusion that being overly burdened with responsibilities towards the child does not allow them to see prospects and “makes noise” in the educational strategy, depriving it of integrity and harmony.

Exercise 4.
Transfer of control.
Parents make statements to convey to their child responsibility for solving one of the current, but not too painful problems.

Exercise “Give Some Responsibility”

(3-4 parts of the exercise are performed at home with the child)

1 part

Assignment: choose those qualities that bother you in your child and write them down on a separate piece of paper.

• Doesn't do homework
• Doesn't look after pets
• Refuses from group games and activities
• Leaves dirty dishes
• Has high demands on himself
• Does not understand the feelings and experiences of other people
• Watches a lot of TV
• Doesn't study well
• Has low self-esteem
• Brings friends home when parents are away
• Runs away from home
• Fights with brothers or sisters
• Often argues with adults
• Refuses to comply with requests
• Has unwanted friends
• Often loses control of himself
• Seems indifferent to others
• Rude to teachers
• Often fights at school/kindergarten
• Often irritates adults on purpose
• Throws tantrums
• Doesn't clean his room
• Smokes
• Doesn't put his toys away
• Cries when you fail
• Lies
• Sleeps little and restlessly
• Demands money
• Asks a lot of questions, but rarely waits for answers

part 2

Distribute the selected qualities into the proposed table.
List of events affecting the life of a child
List of events affecting your life and the life of the child

He studies poorly. Will not be successful in class and will not receive a quality education.

He studies poorly. Feel guilty, consider yourself a bad mother, be angry with the child.

Part 3

In the section “List of events affecting your life and the life of the child,” discuss each item with the child and draw up an agreement that takes into account the interests of both the child and yours.

For example:

In the clause “Watches a lot of TV,” the joint agreement stipulates the topics and time of viewing television programs. Particular attention should be paid to the consequences if the contract is partially or completely violated. The types of consequences can be varied: bedtime (earlier), deprivation of entertaining television programs, etc.

Part 4

For each item in the section “List of events affecting the life of a child,” an agreement is drawn up. Thus, parents begin to delegate problem solving to the children themselves. The main thing is that the form of transmission is based on trust in the child, which will allow him to show interest in independent actions. If the child’s reaction turns out to be unexpected for you (irritation, refusal, request to get rid of responsibility), then it is better to calmly listen to the child and gently repeat that this is exactly what you want to do.

Hyperresponsibility

Many people tend to take responsibility for things that are outside their sphere of influence. They worry about things they cannot control. They are disturbed by the actions and actions of others. They often take on someone else's work to ensure that everything is done perfectly.

What is the (10+2)*5 method, and how can you save a lot of time with it?

In which European countries is it profitable to buy housing: review of the real estate market

"Why Am I Losing Energy?": A 30-Day Challenge to Improve Your Career

There is only one way to learn to avoid this trap. A person must constantly ask himself whether he can influence what is happening. If the answer is no, you need to stop yourself from worrying about it.

Feeling of shame

Shame often accompanies guilt. Although the specific definition of shame varies among experts, let us assume that the feeling

a person feels guilt before himself, and shame - rather before others.
That is, guilt reflects how we ourselves evaluate our actions, and shame is a reaction to how, in our opinion, others evaluate our actions and us in general
.
It’s as if we look at ourselves through someone else’s eyes, and we don’t like what we see. It is important to consider that this is our personal, subjective idea of ​​the opinions of other people
, which may have nothing to do with reality. For example, we may be ashamed of someone for something, although this someone did not even pay any attention to our offense. And on the contrary, a person may not feel shame, although people important to him do not approve of his behavior.

Excessive demands on others

Many people forget that universal values ​​and norms simply do not exist in our world. The formation of a person’s personality is influenced by traditions, culture, religion, education, and so on. What is good for some may be bad for others.

People who tend to make excessive demands on others have a difficult life. They constantly expect from others what they are unable to give them. Constant reminders that no one is perfect can help you overcome this pitfall. We must not forget that all people are different from each other, have positive and negative sides.

What does it mean to be a responsible person?

Let's find out with the help of examples what it means to be a responsible person. Of course, this, first of all, implies that the individual is ready to be responsible for his actions.

In psychology, the concept does not imply legal liability in the form of criminal, administrative or other punishment.

To be responsible is to answer to your own conscience, society, and loved ones. To be more precise, this means the exclusion of all thoughts, actions, and behavior that do not correspond to the norms of morality, ethics, and ethics.

A responsible person will never let his comrade down. He keeps his word. For him it is a duty of honor. A responsible person cannot sacrifice the interests of others. You can trust him and count on support.

Let's give an example of responsible behavior. It would seem that he is petty and not worthwhile. But it is precisely such trifles that allow us to judge a person.

Let’s say that at the entrance to a park where parents and children like to relax, there is a sign warning that smoking is prohibited. Someone decided to break the ban. He smokes in the distance, hoping that he won’t catch the eye of the police.

He smoked a cigarette, and, indeed, avoided meeting with law enforcement agencies. But the children who were playing nearby saw this man. He became for them an example of uncultured and immoral, and therefore irresponsible behavior. This means that being responsible also means anticipating consequences.

A responsible person will not allow himself to be late for a meeting. He realizes that other people's time is valuable. He will always complete the assigned task perfectly, regardless of the reward.

Thus, to be responsible means to be a mature, decent, serious, highly moral person.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is another thinking trap that can poison a person’s life. It would seem that there is nothing wrong with striving for the ideal. However, the pursuit of perfection, which simply does not exist, leads many people not to success, but to failure.

Find time for a little rest: how to reward employees (not just with money)

Losing potential employees: why you shouldn’t scold interns at work

They stopped expressing their opinions: signs of a decline in the morale of subordinates

A perfectionist must learn to love his mistakes. He needs to consider them as valuable lessons that life itself teaches. It is mistakes that allow you to develop, become better and stronger. You can't allow yourself to get stuck in the past; you need to constantly look to the future.

Feelings of guilt: always destructive?

As we said, there is a point of view that the feeling of guilt is always destructive and that it is not characteristic of adults, psychologically mature and organic individuals. However, in our opinion, firstly, guilt and responsibility are not mutually exclusive, and secondly, guilt can also be different.

In general, a feeling of guilt is an internal negative assessment of one’s actions, the awareness that we have violated certain obligations, principles, and guidelines that we have accepted.

.
In most cases, this feeling refers to something that has already been accomplished, but perhaps it also refers to something that will be done or not done in the future. For example, you promised something, but you know for sure that you won’t fulfill it.
Therefore, hour X has not yet arrived, but you are already tormented by guilt. However, the main feature of this feeling is not the “start time”, but the rather vague “end date”

. Let's say a friend has long forgiven you for a broken thing, but you are still tormented. Such long-term, especially if the feeling is strong and disturbing, can greatly affect self-esteem, self-confidence, etc. Such guilt, of course, should not be considered as a constructive feeling.

Another feature of guilt: it doesn’t actually require us to do anything.

. As we said above, responsibility implies active work to correct mistakes, while guilt “by default” does not include such a function (and according to those who believe that it is always destructive, it never includes). Formally, this feeling makes you ask for forgiveness, but not correct what you have done.

However, in our opinion, not everything is so bad with wine. Sometimes it is she who encourages you to work on mistakes, stops you from committing thoughtless actions, and teaches you to separate the bad from the good.

. It's all about what kind of guilt you feel and the degree of this feeling. And here we come to the most controversial issue: guilt vs. responsibility.

Striving to please everyone

A person may constantly worry about what others will think of them. Such people attach too much importance to the impression they make on others. They are worried because they did not find a common language with a casual acquaintance, said something wrong to the salesperson in the store, and so on.

People who fall into this trap forget that it is simply impossible to please everyone. Even famous personalities with many fans constantly face someone's negative attitude. Likes and dislikes depend on a large number of factors, which cannot always be influenced.

A person who strives to get out of this trap must remind himself that he himself does not like everyone he encounters on his life’s path. It's enough to worry about the impression he makes on the people who play an important role in his life.

Mind Reading

Some people think that they are able to read the thoughts of others. In reality, they can give meaning to other people's words and actions that is not intended in them at all. They evaluate other people's behavior based on their own experience. Often their interpretation turns out to be wrong.

How to fit a workplace into your home interior: tips from decorators

Don’t say, “I’m right, but you’re wrong!”: tips on how to resolve conflict at work

The tongue can lie, but not the body: how a leader can improve communication skills

A person who falls into this trap must remind himself more often that the world does not revolve around him. In most cases, the words and actions of others have nothing to do with him. Therefore, you should not attach too much importance to them.

What is responsibility?

Responsibility is, in simple words, a type of human control. It may be stipulated by legislative acts and imply some kind of punishment for a criminal act, negligence, etc.

This is also compliance with generally accepted rules. A person can give up his principles and desires, but do what the established norms prescribe. Responsible people are endowed with a strong-willed, strong character.

The concept of responsibility is not only used by lawyers. This word is often used by people in everyday life, calling on others to take some kind of action - to take responsibility for their words and actions.

A sense of responsibility should be fully developed in every mature individual. Only then is it considered capable of preserving humanity as a race. Irresponsible people have no right to raise children. They pose a serious danger to them.

Responsibility plays a huge role in a person's life. This is a significant characteristic. Responsible people are valued at work, they are respected and law-abiding.

When psychologists characterize a particular person, they always indicate the degree of maturity of the individual. An important indicator: the individual’s willingness to answer for his actions, words, thoughts, deeds before his conscience, people and the law.

The sense of responsibility does not depend on a person’s age. Even a small child can demonstrate this quality. For example, take responsibility for your mother’s instructions and water the flowers or clean the room. And, conversely, adults often show their irresponsible attitude. They are late for work, allow themselves to behave immorally in the presence of children, etc.

The concept of “responsibility” is multifaceted. It concerns absolutely all areas of human life. Even sexual relationships require responsibility to the partner (exclusion of unwanted pregnancy, infection with sexually transmitted diseases).

It is important to understand that there are different types of liability. Let's talk about this in more detail.

Victim's position

A person may feel like they have no control over their life. Everything bad that happens to him is due to the actions of others. He constantly finds those whom he can blame for his failures. For example, if such a person is not promoted, he believes that this is due to the negative attitude of his superiors towards him. If his other half leaves him, then he does not see his fault in what happened.

A person who wants to cope with this problem must take responsibility for his life. He needs to stop himself every time he has the desire to blame someone for his next failure. Instead, you should analyze what happened and learn from the mistakes made. Then you need to think about how you can turn the situation to your advantage.

What is each of us responsible for?

What responsibilities do people have? We must be responsible for every decision, choice, aspiration,

because they are endowed by nature with the ability to think. An exception to the rule is individuals with complex brain injuries, as well as those with mental retardation.

Read our article “Breathing practices: characteristic features of basic techniques.”

This quality is manifested:

• When fulfilling parental obligations, all parents must be responsible for their own children;
• In work activity, there are different levels of work. Managers are responsible for the results of the activities of their subordinates, who are also responsible for their area of ​​work;
• In a situation of conflicts of interest, the responsibility of one of the participants in the conflict makes it possible to become a process controller and make an important decision for everyone. He has everything in order with responsibility for his behavior, a sense of duty and strength of character;
• In military service, the command staff is responsible for their subordinates, for their lives and actions;
• When fulfilling any obligations, it presupposes the presence of deadlines and a high level of quality of work performed and services provided.

Species diversity in the development of this quality

In order not to be afraid to take responsibility, you should get a more developed trait:

• Work on yourself, improve self-control. We must be attentive to ourselves, our own statements, not promise impossible things, and make decisions carefully. You need to be patient and the results will definitely come;
• Using the technique of writing tasks to yourself involves writing down on paper, in a notepad, tasks that have specific deadlines. When a person performs his own task, he develops his individual skills;
• Engage in organizational activities. By interacting with people, organizing them, coordinating their actions, each of us is able to achieve our cherished goal;
• Interact with children. In such situations, all human responsibility is mobilized, because an adult is always responsible for the child. There is simply no other way out here.

Short term pleasures

Psychologists believe that there is nothing wrong with the ability to enjoy the current moment. On the contrary, it helps people avoid stress and depression. However, when a person completely surrenders to short-term pleasures without thinking about the consequences, he makes a big mistake.

An example is being overweight. People fill their menu with unhealthy foods, the consumption of which leads to extra pounds. They get short-term pleasure from the taste of food without thinking about the danger they pose to their health in the long term. Other examples of such a psychological trap are addiction to alcoholic beverages and cigarettes, and gambling addiction.

Every person should fill their life with pleasure. However, he must avoid activities that will do him much more harm than good.