The ability to communicate correctly with people is one of the key skills for a top manager. Most people who run successful companies speak well and know how to lead people. I think it's something like natural selection. Charismatic leaders know how to find words that resonate with the audience, ignite people - their mood rises, they want to be better and follow them.
There are many good communicators among both men and women. Women tend to be better listeners, while men sound more confident. But regardless of gender, innate abilities and status, each person has his own strengths and weaknesses in communication. Missing competencies can be developed. In addition, they will be useful not only in business, but also in everyday life.
Ability to establish contact
There are people who like to talk about life before talking about business. Others, on the contrary, will consider you a frivolous partner for lyrical digressions. Some people immediately need an answer from you, and then the whole line of reasoning, while others will consider this a manifestation of arrogance. It is important at the first meeting not to get into trouble by guessing what type your interlocutor is. There is only one piece of advice - try to study its ecosystem. Some conclusions can definitely be drawn by noticing how he behaves, what kind of office he has - laconic or filled with gizmos. Your job is to understand how this person prefers to communicate. And adapt to his style (the younger one adapts to the older one, not vice versa, but in the case of a service business, the client is always the older one). This does not mean at all that you have to agree with him on everything, but in any case it is important for you to understand the point of view of your interlocutor and try to convincingly convey yours to him.
If the interlocutor insists on his point of view and does not hear yours, asking why he still thinks so helps - you give the person the opportunity, in the process of searching for arguments, to realize that there are other options. Such dialogue can be very effective.
Firm handshake
A weak handshake says it all. It says that a person is afraid to express himself, afraid to show his feelings, emotions and himself in general. A person with a weak handshake is not perceived as a strong person because he is afraid to express his opinion for fear of getting a negative reaction. And his hands begin to sweat from fear.
But no one wants to shake a slippery dead fish instead of a hand. If your palms tend to sweat when you're worried, then use a simple life hack. A few minutes before the meeting, go and run them under cold water. Blood flow is normalized. And when you shake hands, you will have warm, dry palms.
What does a strong handshake do? It gives a person confidence. A firm handshake, upright posture, and eye contact greatly increase your chances of winning your interlocutor's favor non-verbally.
Ability to structure a problem
You can move on to finding a solution only after it becomes clear to both of you what problem you are trying to solve. Many mothers, by the way, hone this skill in communicating with children - they need to find out what really bothers the child when he demands ice cream or something else. You can help a person understand what he really wants by correctly formulating questions.
An important point: when you, by carefully listening to your interlocutor, have found out his real task, you need to summarize the essence so that the interlocutor hears his thoughts in a structured form and passes it through himself. A good psychologist does not tell you what to do, but through leading questions helps you understand the problem and understand it. It’s the same in client business - we don’t bring a ready-made solution, we have to develop it together with the company so that it can be implemented.
Ability to end a meeting
Every meeting should have a sense of progress, moving forward. Then you realize that there is a reason to continue communicating. It is always necessary to give meeting participants a clear understanding of what has been achieved, what will happen next, when, and who will take responsibility. There must be a clear understanding not only of the space where we are now, but also of how this stage relates to the whole, where the horizon for the end of further discussion is. As soon as there is uncertainty about the progress of your collaborative process, a feeling of dissatisfaction sets in after the meeting.
Finally, a valid tip for the success of any negotiation is to leave your phone alone. Otherwise, the interlocutor will never feel that the conversation is important to you and that you are serious.
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Language of the body
Nonverbal communication is equally important. It is imperative to control your hands, keep an open position, and smile. The most important thing here is to be natural, open and constantly maintain eye contact and communicate while looking your counterpart in the eyes.
The mirroring method works flawlessly in body language. Repeating some of the interlocutor's movements helps to build his trust and gradually move on to a frank conversation.
The main thing is to do it unnoticed, for example, also fix your hair or touch your ear.
Smile and control of emotions
The easiest way to make a good impression is to smile. She always speaks for herself: “I’m glad to see you.” Can the sight of a gloomy and dissatisfied person make you feel positive? A suspicion immediately arises that it was this meeting that caused such emotions.
A smile is especially important in the first moments of communication, and during a dialogue you should strive to control your emotions. You cannot constantly expect praise or approval from your communication partner. Having made his condition dependent on this, a person finds himself in the position of a participant in a roller coaster ride. He gets inspired from compliments, and gets upset from criticism.
The steering wheel of feelings should be in the hands of the person himself. This is the only way to stop worrying and win people over. Emotional stability has a good effect on relationships, leads to an optimistic outlook on life, increased tone. The author himself said this:
A person who seeks approval from others trusts his happiness to strangers. (D. Carnegie)
The ability to be sincere
I am a supporter of the theory that a person cannot be strong in everything and you should not go against your nature by trying to develop everything at once. It is important to know your natural strengths, which can compensate for your inherent weaknesses. If a person is an introvert, he should not try to be a “lighter”. It may be worth choosing a different conversation format - for example, one on one. You need to determine what you naturally do best and build the foundation of your communication with the client on this.
Why you need to know how to win people over
Psychology proves that having communication skills contributes to a professional career. It is easier for such a person to find a well-paid job, pass an interview, and move up the career ladder. She has a better chance of building her personal life without suffering from various kinds of complexes and low self-esteem.
Possessing charm, it is easier for a person to influence people using a technique such as infection. In this case, he does not need arguments to prove his position, just an emotional component and inner conviction. Essentially, this can lead to unlimited power over the people around you.
Charm increases the number of acquaintances, among whom there will certainly be people who can be useful. Therefore, sociable people cope more easily with complex problems and life difficulties, minimizing their number. They know how to open the doors of important offices without leaving a negative impression.
According to experts, it is communication that makes our lives brighter and richer, so everyone needs knowledge on how to win someone over. We will use the advice and recommendations of D. Carnegie, an American speaker, writer and teacher, who wrote five wonderful books on this topic.
Ability to remain calm
Do not hurry. If you speak quickly, you won't have time to say more. It’s better to slow down - this will give you the opportunity to find the right words and look more confident. Often, by the way, young employees who are quickly advancing in their careers at some point run into the fact that they are not taken seriously. They think it’s because of age, but it’s more likely a matter of behavior. When you twitch, fuss, and feel insecure, it all gives the impression of inexperience.
Of course, it is important to find the key to your interlocutor so that he trusts you. But people are very different. No matter how professional you are, purely by temperament it will be easier to communicate with some clients, and not so much with others. You may not be cheerful in a meeting, but it is important to be attentive to your interlocutor.
Flat back, straight posture
Your parents were right when they constantly scolded you for slouching. A straight back and straight posture indicate that you value yourself and are ready to cope with the situation. In stressful situations, the human body begins to shrink and slouch. Unconsciously, a person tries to appear smaller or hide altogether. And this is not without reason, since in the case of real danger, a small target is more difficult to hit or may not be noticed at all.
Over time, the habit of hiding from everything and lack of self-confidence gives such a shrunken posture. And correcting a slouch is difficult, but if you're motivated to make a confident impression through your body language, you'll be up to the task.
Main conclusions
- Sincere interest and sympathy for a person is the basis for building good relationships.
- Communication skills can and should be improved constantly.
- The impression created at the first meeting is very important: it can lead to long-term cooperation or, on the contrary, make it impossible.
- A warm smile, attention and interest in the interlocutor will help you gain favor at the first meeting.
- Be kind, find common ground, and make the person feel important. This will help you gain trust and build good relationships.
Brief information about the source
What will be taken as a basis? Carnegie Dale “How to Win People Over” is a work that answers a number of questions:
- How to make new friends while keeping old ones.
- How can you gain the trust of others?
- How to communicate effectively with people.
- Is it possible to find a common language with an initially conflicted person?
- How to influence someone else's opinion.
- How you can understand the feelings of others and control your own emotions.
What interests us most is how to win people over. The book was published in 1936 and immediately became a bestseller. It is still relevant, especially among people who have decided to start their own business. At the same time, the author does not hide:
All the ideas I admire are not mine. I took them from Socrates. I overheard Chesterfield. And he spied on Jesus. I wrote them all down in a book. (D. Carnegie)
Let's take a closer look at his advice.
Remember to be grateful
If you're leading an important project and things take off, don't forget to thank the entire team for their contributions by treating them to a celebratory lunch, handing out bonuses, and reminding them how important their support was to you. The same goes for friendship and love. Remind your loved ones more often how grateful you are for their help and participation in your life, arrange pleasant surprises, and do not forget about gratitude. All of this is important because it shows you as a caring and generous person who appreciates others.
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Ability to speak clearly
At one time there was a popular video on YouTube where, at a meeting, one of the employees suggests how to improve sales, but no one reacts to it. The same ideas, but more confidently, are voiced by another person - and everyone applauds. You need to be able to speak so that you are heard. The ability to express your thoughts clearly and clearly will ensure 50% of your success, allowing you to convince others.
How to learn to speak clearly, reasonedly and without filler words? One successful woman gave me good advice on this topic - you need to prepare for each meeting eight times longer than it will last. The apparent ease of conversation in 95% of cases is explained by the fact that people thoughtfully structure the discussion, planning in advance what to say, when to say it, how to sit, stand, move, how to modulate their voice in a particular conversation scenario. It's like theater - if you want the viewer to be imbued with it, you need to make sure that your entire image corresponds to the words and emotions. The interlocutor should feel that everything you say is meaningful, analyzed, and your words can be trusted.
