In this article we will tell you how you can avoid conflict and what methods exist for this.
In any relationship, be it business or personal, conflicts always arise. For some they happen more often, for others less often, but in any case they happen. Those who work with people usually encounter conflicts most often. The most unpleasant moment in any such situation is negativity, and there are also aggressive attacks. Of course, it’s easier not to get involved in quarrels at all, but sometimes this simply cannot be done. What to do in this case? How to behave? Let's find out.
What is conflict
In modern psychology there are many different definitions of this concept. But they all assume that conflict is the most acute phase of resolving various contradictions. They arise in the process of interaction and consist in the opposition of the participants in the situation, accompanying it with negative emotions. Most scientists focus specifically on the contradictory goals and interests of the subjects of the disagreement that has arisen.
There is a definition of contradiction as a speech act, which distinguishes three stages of the struggle of interests, the result of which is a conflict:
- differences of opinion;
- contradiction in dialogues;
- direct struggle, expressed in conflicts of action.
Thus, conflict prevention means the absence of any speech acts intended to cause harm of any kind to the other party.
The essence of the conflict
In order for conflict prevention to be sufficiently effective, it is necessary to understand what the essence of the contradiction is, which has four characteristics;
- structure;
- dynamics;
- function;
- control.
The structure of the conflict consists of:
- object (subject of dispute);
- entities (individuals, groups or organizations);
- flow conditions;
- scale;
- strategies and tactics of behavior of the subjects of the situation;
- outcome.
The psychology of conflict involves a dynamic process that consists of the following stages:
- objective situation when objective reasons for conflict arise;
- conflict interaction, where the incident itself occurs;
- conflict resolution, which can be complete or partial.
Conflict performs various functions, and some of them are quite important for effective interaction between the parties:
- dialectical, which involves identifying the causes of conflict interactions;
- constructive, which involves directing the tension caused by the situation that has arisen to achieve the goal;
- destructive when different personal and emotional colors of relationships appear.
Conflict regulation essentially comes down to the ability to manage it. Management, in turn, is divided into external and internal. In the first case, control over the situation is entrusted to the leader, in the second, personal control of one’s behavior is necessary.
Recommendations for managing conflicts
Firstly. take into account the specifics of the development of the conflict. As a rule, all conflicts go through the following stages in their development:
- Disagreements arise.
- Tension in relationships increases.
- The subjects (or at least one of them) are aware of the conflict nature of the situation.
- There is a fact of conflict interaction, various methods of resolving the situation are used, which is accompanied by an increase or decrease in emotional intensity.
- The conflict is resolved.
If in the process of conflict interaction the participants behave adequately and rationally, going through all its stages in turn, then the conflict can be influenced. To resolve a conflict, it is necessary to eliminate its cause and restore normal relations.
That's why:
1 | Identify hidden and obvious causes of conflict interactions. It is important to define them as clearly as possible. |
2 | Analyze not only the positions themselves, but also the interests that lie behind them. |
3 | Focus not on positions, but on interests. |
4 | Distinguish between the subjects of the conflict and the problems that arise. |
5 | Treat the initiator of the conflict impartially and fairly. Keep in mind that behind the complaints and dissatisfaction there may be a serious problem that worries the person. |
6 | Try to reduce the number of claims by narrowing the subject of the conflict. Remember that it is impossible to solve all problems at once. |
7 | Be emotionally stable. Be aware and control your manifestations. Consider the personal characteristics and emotional state of all participants in the conflict interaction. |
Coming to the end of this lesson, you will notice that many techniques are aimed at preventing and managing conflicts. The ones we talked about today take as a basis the principles of self-respect and awareness of one’s own desires, positions and needs. But you need to strive to respect not only what concerns you personally, but also what concerns the people around you. This is the only way we can make our lives less conflict and more harmonious.
Main stages of conflict situations
The reasons for disagreements can be very different, but common to all of them are the stages of the emergence and resolution of a dispute. So, the stages of the conflict are as follows:
- the moment of emergence of a conflict situation, which can be provoked by one or several people;
- awareness of the current situation, expressed in changes in mood and various critical statements addressed to the opponent;
- open confrontation, when the parties take active action with the aim of causing offense or other moral damage to the enemy;
- the opponent’s awareness of the conflict situation and the beginning of response actions;
- development of conflict when certain demands are put forward;
- the finalization of disagreements through requests, conversations or administrative methods, consisting of a court decision, dismissal, etc.
As you may have noticed, these stages of conflict move from one to another, regardless of the type of disagreement that arises.
What is conflict and how to avoid it?
There are several interpretations of this word.
The most familiar is one of the unpleasant ways to resolve contradictions.
Psychologists are inclined to think that these are contradictions (that is, lack of harmony) that arise between individuals, entire groups, and even nations.
In short, this is an extremely negative phenomenon, therefore every normal person should know how to avoid conflict so as not to spread further aggression.
Very often we find ourselves in unpleasant situations precisely because we do not have time to react in time, do not recognize the conflict at an early stage and realize that we are “in trouble” when it is too late to reel in the bait.
Learning to control yourself - useful tips
Therefore, in order to escape from the battlefield even before it begins, be able to recognize the signs of an emerging conflict.
Let's list them:
- It seems to you that the one you are talking to now has not yet said a single smart word.
- The blood literally begins to boil in your veins at every response from your opponent.
- You begin to be annoyed not only by the idiot standing next to you who is talking complete nonsense, but by everything around you.
- A glass of wine, a glass of cognac or a cigarette would not hurt you right now.
- Your heart rate increases and you begin to breathe more intensely and more frequently.
- You are looking with your eyes for something you can throw at this annoying creature.
- It turns out that you know a lot of swear words that you would be happy to teach to an annoying fellow traveler.
- Eh, why is murder now a criminal offense?
Outcome options
There are different options for resolving conflict situations:
- leaving it when one of the parties does not notice or pretends not to notice the disagreements that have arisen;
- smoothing out contradictions when one of the subjects of the conflict either agrees with the claims made by the other party or justifies himself;
- compromise, when both parties make mutual concessions in order to resolve disagreements;
- an increase in tension when the onset of a conflict is particularly abrupt and turns into a serious confrontation that is not limited in time;
- suppression of a conflict by force, when one of the parties or both subjects is forced to accept a certain point of view.
Types of conflicts
The psychology of conflict involves its division into types depending on the basis. Thus, the following factors can serve as the basis for identifying it as a separate type:
- sources of occurrence;
- social consequences;
- scale;
- forms of struggle;
- subjects' tactics.
Conflicts are also divided into two types in relation to an individual subject:
- internal;
- external.
Internal conflict involves the contradiction of the desires of one person, and external conflict involves disagreements between him and the environment. The nature of the external conflict, in turn, can be interpersonal, intergroup, or such that it arises between an individual and a group.
Interpersonal conflict is the most common and consists of a clash of interests of different individuals. Intergroup conflict, as a rule, arises in a work atmosphere when the interests of small groups turn out to be opposing. As for the conflict between an individual and a group, this kind of disagreement is also typical in the business sphere, when the interests of the organization contradict the interests of the individual.
In addition to such disagreements, there are many others: family, teenage, personal or generational conflict. In each of these situations, problems arise with the closest people, which means that everything must be done to prevent this.
Causes and types of conflict situations
There are several classifications of conflicts based on which structural element dominates in a given situation. Thus, a contradiction may arise due to disputes regarding an object - a thing, the values or feelings of the participants.
Most often, people become involved in such a conflict unconsciously, regardless of their desire.
In other cases, the cause may be provocation or conscious pressure from one of the parties. Most often, such people try to assert themselves at the expense of others.
Family conflicts
Unfortunately, despite all efforts, conflicts in the family are an inevitable phenomenon. And the point here is not that people don’t like each other, it’s just that not everyone knows how to resolve differences peacefully.
Conflicts in the family can be between spouses, between children, between parents and children, between spouses and their parents - there are many options. However, the question arises: why do some couples live happily ever after, while others become enemies and separate forever? It's all about people's attitude to the current situation. The subject of the conflict can inflate the scandal, increasing its scale, but it is within his power to end it without great moral losses.
The slightest reason is enough for a conflict situation to arise. Sometimes it becomes like a game of table tennis, when partners throw mutual accusations at each other like a ball in a game. This can go on for quite a long time, it all depends on the desire and ability of the parties to make trouble.
In fact, there are many ways to maintain peace in the family. For example, if frequent disagreements began to appear not so long ago, you can try to express your complaint and ask your spouse to voice it in his own words. Psychologists say that most problems in couples arise due to misinterpretation of the words of their spouse. After trying this method, you will quickly become convinced that the essence of the conflict has no basis.
If the reason for the disagreement is a discrepancy in desires, take a piece of paper and write what you would like to do. It is advisable to have at least 5 items on the list. Then compare your desires and try to deduce from them something common to both. You will be surprised how effective this method is.
However, it is worth remembering that, regardless of the reason for the disagreement, the main thing is to find out its reason. Conflict prevention is to listen and hear each other. In addition, it is necessary to voice your desires without expecting them to be guessed by your spouse. If you follow these two rules, the number of conflict situations in family life will be minimized.
Conflict Management Techniques
In this part, we'll take a closer look at the nine most effective conflict management techniques: avoidance, inaction, concession and accommodation, smoothing, covert action, quick fixes, compromise, cooperation, and force.
1
Avoiding conflict
Avoiding conflict is the most popular method of conflict management. The meaning of the method is that the subject strives with all his might to avoid a conflict situation, removing himself from the “scene” psychologically, physically or economically. The advantage of this method is that the decision to eliminate himself is made by the subject in record time. The method itself is used when the conflict does not fit the situation and is unnecessary for one of the subjects. It is recommended to avoid conflict if the cost of losses in case of failure is high.
Incentives for using this method:
- The wrong time for conflict
- Fear of your opponent
- A situation where a problematic issue only to a small extent affects the main essence of the conflict
- A situation where a problematic issue serves as a pointer to more compelling reasons
- The opponent has an advantage and a more effective potential to resolve the problem
- There is a need to collect additional information
- The intensity of the conflict is subsiding
- There are more important circumstances
- The essence of the conflict is some trivial problem
How to behave according to this method:
- Contact the relevant legal and bureaucratic authorities as the main assistant in resolving the conflict
- Use secrecy to avoid the peak of conflict
- Apply all kinds of procedures to slow down the conflict so that it fades away
- Delaying the solution to the problem
- Deny the existence of the very essence of the problem and hope that the situation will resolve itself naturally
When this method should not be used
- When the time resource is very important and loss of time can lead to large costs or the transfer of initiative to the opponent
- When there are prospects for long-term activity of the causes of the conflict (the method is suitable only for a short period of time)
- When the problem is of particular importance (so as not to “bury your head in the sand”)
Experts believe that avoiding conflict allows you to resolve the conflict according to the “victory-defeat” scheme.
2
Inaction
Inaction is considered a special type of avoidance of conflict. The meaning of the method is that the subject does not make absolutely any calculations or actions. Inaction is considered applicable only when there is complete uncertainty of the situation and no predictions can be made. It is important to understand that the results of this method are unpredictable, but in some cases the situation can be resolved favorably for the subject.
3
Concessions and accommodation
The meaning of the method is that the subject makes concessions by reducing his claims.
Incentives for using this method:
- The result of conflict resolution promises awareness of one’s mistakes and professional or personal growth.
- The most important factor is stability
- There is a clear advantage of the opponent
- There is a high probability of your opponent winning
- It is possible to use this (even negative) experience as strategic potential for similar situations in the future
- The essence of the conflict is more important for the opponent
- The opponent is right and it makes sense to listen to what he says
The most likely outcome of the conflict when using this method is the “defeat-victory” scheme.
4
Smoothing
Smoothing as a method of conflict management is used when the subject is focused on collective methods of interaction with opponents. The meaning of the method is that the common interests of opponents and the negative impact of the conflict on the situation as a whole are emphasized.
Incentives for using this method:
- Differences in interests with the opponent are insignificant
- The terms of interaction are familiar and familiar
The result of conflict resolution may be different, i.e. There are two options: “victory-victory” and “victory-defeat”.
5
Hidden Actions
Hidden actions are used in cases where the subject comes to the conclusion that it is necessary to use hidden means to resolve the conflict.
Incentives for using this method:
- There is no resource or power balance, as a result of which one of the subjects is at greatest risk
- It is impossible to involve an opponent in a conflict according to the currently established rules
- Reluctance to participate in open conflict due to fear of losing image
- The influence of psychological, social, political or economic reasons that create barriers to participation in open conflict
How to behave according to this method:
- Apply gentlemanly (open, respectful) forms of influence
- Use hidden forms of influence (creating barriers and unfavorable conditions, using deception, bribery, backroom negotiations, collusion)
Negative consequences of this method:
- Prospect of conflict escalation
- Dissemination of negative information among opponents and third parties about an entity using hidden actions
- Possibility of taking drastic measures against a subject using hidden actions
- Increased overt or covert resistance to the subject using covert actions
The result of using hidden actions directly depends on the potential and experience of the opponent and can have several options, from the “win-win” option to the “defeat-defeat” option.
6
Fast decision
The meaning of the method is that a decision about the cause of the conflict is made in the shortest possible time, one might even say instantly.
Incentives for using this method:
- The expectation that a quick solution will be more effective than any other method of conflict management and will entail a minimum of losses
- There is no threat of a dangerous escalation of the conflict, and there is no need for careful strategizing
- All parties to the conflict strive to find a mutually beneficial solution to the problem
- One of the subjects changes his position after receiving new “objective” data or under the influence of the arguments of another opponent
- Limited amount of time due to the nature of the situation
Advantages of this method:
- Solutions are prepared on mutually beneficial terms
- Mutual respect between opponents
- Speed of conflict resolution
The most likely result of a quick decision is a win-win scheme, but for this to happen there must be as much agreement as possible between the opponents.
7
Compromise
Compromise is a type of agreement in which both subjects occupy middle positions within the boundaries of the existing conflict situation. The method is considered classic. The meaning of the method is that agreement between subjects is achieved through their direct negotiations.
Incentives for using this method:
- None of the subjects want to lose
- Limited resources
- All opponents have enough time
- Both subjects believe that their needs can be satisfied through give-and-take negotiations.
- It is necessary to get out of the situation, because... neither struggle nor cooperation gives the desired result
- A decision must be made due to time pressure
- The decisions taken can solve a complex of problems
- Both subjects have completely different goals, but their powers are equal and they use mutually exclusive methods
- The goals of the subjects are important to them, but it is not advisable to expend much effort
How to behave according to this method:
- Search and offer acceptable solutions
- Contribute to solving the problem on an equal basis with your opponent
- Negotiate
When this method should not be used
- Subjects dispute their obligations
- An unclear decision has been made, the effectiveness of which remains in question
- If initially one’s own position was assessed inadequately, erroneously
Advantages of this method:
- The prospect of developing mutually beneficial solutions
- Negotiations are conducted on a mutually respectful basis
- Objective criteria are used during negotiations
- Subjects' attention is focused on mutual interests
- All subjects can solve their problems
As a result of applying a compromise, both subjects are satisfied, but there is no clear winner.
8
Cooperation
The meaning of the method is that opposing subjects act with the goal of finding the most acceptable way to resolve a conflict situation.
Incentives for using this method:
- Subjects fulfill their obligations and know how to cooperate
- There is time to find a mutually beneficial alternative solution
- The solution is developed on mutually beneficial terms
- It is possible to identify the opponent’s position and behavior
- One of the opponents needs to identify his objective goals
- A more thoughtful decision needs to be made that cannot be achieved through compromise alone
Special specifics of this method:
- Subjects perceive the conflict situation itself as a challenge
- Situations in which all parties to the conflict benefit are identified
- Deeper solutions to the problem are found
- The emphasis is not on differences, but on information and ideas that are shared by all subjects
- Opponents are focused on solving the problem
Here it should be said about a very effective method of conflict management through problem solving, proposed by the famous American conflict specialist Alan Filley. Its essence boils down to the following:
- The problem is defined in terms of goals, not solutions.
- After defining the problem, solutions are determined that suit all parties to the conflict
- Attention should be focused precisely on the problem, and not on the personal characteristics of the opponent
- Then an atmosphere of trust is created, through which the mutual influence of subjects and information exchange between them is enhanced
- In the process of communication, it is necessary to create a positive attitude of subjects towards each other through their manifestation of sympathy and attention to opposing positions; any manifestations of threats or anger should be kept to a minimum
When this method should not be used
- Temporary conditions are not conducive to cooperation
- Any of the subjects shows optionality
In most cases, the result of using cooperation is a win-win scheme.
9
Use of force
The use of force refers to the desire of one of the opponents to impose its solution to the problem on the other. The method becomes more effective in situations where one of the subjects has a significant advantage over the other.
Incentives for using this method:
- Required to subdue your opponent
- Requires the use of power through coercion
- Required to use competition
- It is necessary to impose a “win-lose” scheme on the opponent
- It is necessary to resolve a conflict with a subject characterized by extremely destructive behavior
- You need to successfully get out of a vital situation
- It is necessary to use an unpopular solution to resolve a conflict situation
- There is a need for quick and decisive action
- Need to make a decision in an emergency situation
The result of the use of force is almost always a “victory-defeat” pattern.
As we can see, ways to manage conflicts are very effective. Along with conflict prevention methods, absolutely anyone can use them in absolutely any area of life. But, besides this, it is very important to competently and skillfully select the control option suitable for each specific situation. Try to take into account the presented features of each method - this is the only way you can get the maximum result from any of them.
And finally, some more very interesting practical information. So that you can more competently manage conflicts, you should use the recommendations developed specifically for this by psychologists.
The problem of fathers and children
In modern society there are three main directions: older, mature and young. Generation conflict is a normal part of the relationship between elders and younger ones.
As for the discussion of this type of disagreement, a transition to micro levels is inevitable, when this kind of situation becomes commonplace in any average family, where the views of parents differ from those of children or teenagers. However, different worldviews do not necessarily lead to conflict situations.
How to avoid generational conflict? The only way out of this situation is to accept the views of the other side, mutual respect and tolerance. For example, pensioners, having stopped fulfilling their daily professional duties, find themselves in a difficult psychological situation when they need help and support from loved ones.
Teenagers, in turn, are at an age when categorical behavior and complete denial of the opinions of adults is normal for them. Between pensioners and young people stand mature people, who may also suffer from different views on the lives of their parents or children. In this case, each party must be tolerant of and respect the opinions of others. Only such mutual understanding can be the answer to the question of how to avoid conflict between different generations.
Beware of a mistake: what actions “slow down” the resolution of a conflict situation?
But even knowing how to resolve a conflict, very often people do not restrain themselves and make mistakes themselves, which reduce all efforts on the path to “peace” to nothing. These are primarily the following errors:
- leaving a calm tone and switching to shouting, adopting an aggressive pose, interrupting during a conversation;
- opening ridicule of a partner, switching to insult - it doesn’t matter whether in response or not, i.e. open manifestation of antipathy;
- attracting a third party who is the enemy of your opponent;
- deliberate understatement of the merits of the opposite side, insincerity and hypocrisy;
- systematic refusal to respond to proposals to resolve the issue.
Teenage conflicts
In adolescence, which is considered one of the most difficult periods, conflicts occupy a special place, being an integral part of social life. Conflicts among adolescents arise not only in relationships with parents, but also when communicating with peers. Often, it is the child’s difficult relationships with friends that become a serious cause for parental concern. At this time, adults are required to make every effort to help the teenager avoid difficulties in communication. There are several rules that, if followed, can help avoid such situations and help a teenager move to the next stage of life as painlessly as possible. So, if your goal is to prevent conflicts, you are required to:
- Don't blame the teenager for everything. It is at this stage of life that trusting relationships with adults are crucial for him. Therefore, it is extremely important that the child knows that he can trust you in any situation without fear of accusations against him.
- Find out the reason for the disagreement. Find out from your child all the details of what happened before drawing conclusions. If a teenager withdraws into himself, you should talk to school teachers and find out the cause of the problem.
- Realize that parental intervention is not always beneficial. If we are talking about a quarrel between best friends, who can swear several times a day, and sometimes it comes to a fight, then the intervention of adults will only have a negative result. Before deciding to help your child, find out all the details of what happened.
- Do not show indifference. The position of an outside observer is not always beneficial. For example, if your child has serious problems with peers who do not accept him into their circle, this can lead to serious psychological problems in the future. This situation should be taken under control as early as possible, finding out the reasons for such behavior.
Your friendly attitude and tolerance are crucial in resolving teenage conflicts painlessly.
Without conflict, it is impossible to sincerely communicate
Of course, you can try to avoid all controversial issues, differences of opinion and other “dangerous” places. But then “inviolable territories” appear in the relationship, which become more and more numerous over time. People who constantly avoid conflict become distant—be it a couple who is afraid to openly discuss issues of fidelity and flirtation, views on children and marriage, or financial problems, or colleagues who are uncomfortable talking about areas of responsibility and boundaries of communication at work.
To avoid such a development of events, it is important to remember: confrontation in itself does not lead to a break in relationships or even spoil them, although it looks very risky for some people. Open conflicts are often feared by those who grew up with harsh parents who used physical punishment, shouted, boycotted, or demonstrated that they did not love the child during quarrels. Such people have learned from childhood that going into confrontation means losing the love of significant people, and even jeopardizing their basic needs (if they quarreled with their mother, they were deprived of dinner). Learning to conflict (perhaps with the help of a psychologist or coach) is important for everyone - and we will talk about this in the following paragraphs.
Personality conflicts
Especially common are personal conflicts that can arise both between colleagues and between people connected by various social ties. They, as a rule, appear due to the impossibility of accepting the point of view, ideology, value system and other attitudes of the enterprise. Also, disagreements may arise between employees due to the incompatibility of their characters and other psychological characteristics.
The main quality that helps in overcoming such situations is tolerance towards the opinions of others. It is necessary to realize that no one is obliged to share your point of view, because each person has his own opinion. Awareness of this fact makes it easier to perceive personality differences.
Conflict resolution styles
Depending on the goals and interests of the subjects of a conflict situation, the following styles of conflict resolution are distinguished:
- Competition is one of the toughest options for resolving conflict situations. Suitable for people who seek to solve a problem primarily to satisfy their own interests. The style is most appropriate in cases where the subject of the conflict is an employee of the organization, and resolving the situation is within the competence of the manager. In this case, it is competition that will teach employees to obey, and will also help restore faith in the success of the enterprise in a difficult situation.
- Evasion is expressed in postponing making a decision for too long under various pretexts. This leads to the fact that the situation only becomes more complicated over time, which is why this style is the least preferred.
- Adaptation involves focusing on the behavior of others and an unwillingness to defend one’s own interests. The result of choosing this style of conflict resolution is a concession to the opponent’s demands and recognition of his rightness.
- Cooperation involves solving a problem in your favor, taking into account the interests of the other party. This is the most acceptable style of resolving social conflicts, because it is the key to maintaining peaceful relations in the future.
- A compromise based on mutual concessions on both sides. It is suitable for situations where the goals of the parties coincide, only the ways to achieve them differ. This style of conflict resolution is often the best option for the participants.
Ways to resolve conflict situations and prevent them
Conflicts often accompany us throughout life. They arise in the process of communication between people, so they exist as long as a person exists. The word “conflict” translated from Latin means “clash.” As we know, the basis of any conflict is a sharp way of resolving contradictions in opinions, views, and principles.
Key words: conflict, ways to resolve conflict situations, interlocutor, opponent, situation, style, solution, understand, interests, conflict prevention.
Every person has had a moment in his life when he wanted to avoid confrontation and asked himself the question: “How to resolve this conflict or avoid it altogether?” But we cannot always find a way to solve this. When communicating, you should remember that accepting the views of the interlocutor, showing mutual respect and tolerance will benefit both sides of the dialogue.
There are ways to resolve conflict situations and prevent them. Psychologists and specialists from scientific centers have developed ways to resolve conflicts and created special recommendations on how individuals should behave in the event of a conflict of interests.
Evasion style. One of the parties to this conflict knows that it does not have weighty arguments and is evading the moment when a conflict decision should be made. You should not convince yourself that you are not afraid of the conflict escalating, but are waiting for the moment when the situation will turn out in your favor. But such a moment may not come at all, and your position will worsen even more, which will lead to the outcome of the conflict not in your favor. This method should be used appropriately.
Adaptation style. The subject who uses this style in practice is trying to satisfy the interests of two parties. In extreme cases, a person concedes victory to his opponent and focuses on his behavior, does not try to defend his point of view and interests. This behavior exists in a situation where a person understands that he was wrong, or knows that winning is very important to his interlocutor. It should be remembered that resolving the conflict in your favor will not always be favorable for the situation as a whole.
Collaboration style. A person tries to resolve a conflict situation without infringing on his own interests, but at the same time takes into account the interests of the other party so that the outcome of the conflict is beneficial to both parties. As a rule, this situation arises when both the subject and the opponent have the same resources to resolve the conflict, a favorable outcome is beneficial for both parties, each party can explain its goals and provide a different way out of the current situation.
"Compromise" style. Both sides of the conflict are looking for a solution that will not contradict the interests of the opposite side. This behavior exists when both parties have the same goal with equal resources and capabilities, but a short-term victory is also important to each of them. This model of behavior is one of the most optimal.
“Competition” style. This method of resolving conflicts is typical for a person who persistently and actively moves towards solving a problem, does not take into account the interests of the opposite side, wanting to satisfy only his own. This model of behavior allows only a strong and persistent person who has all the resources to resolve the conflict in his favor to realize his interests and positions. This style of behavior is the toughest.
Conflict prevention is a set of measures that is aimed at eliminating the emergence of controversial situations between the parties; it is the prevention of conflict in the broad sense of the word. The main task of conflict prevention is to minimize the likelihood of its occurrence.
There are certain recommendations for preventing conflict. You should:
– be able to understand that your communication is becoming pre-conflict and try to restore normal relationships;
– you should not go into conflict if you are not sure that you correctly understood the motives of your partner’s action;
– try to minimize relative anxiety and aggressiveness;
– be able to master your mental state and not give in to emotions;
– do not drive your interlocutor into a corner;
– do not try to solve a whole series of problems during one conflict;
– remember that there is always an opportunity to avoid conflict.
Of course, when communicating it is difficult to avoid conflicts, or rather, it is impossible. When communicating, it is necessary to monitor the progress of the dialogue, because it is easier to prevent a conflict situation than to resolve an existing conflict. You should be able to find the most optimal solution to a problem, try not to aggravate the conflict and at the same time not offend your interlocutor. If one of the parties behaves psychologically competently, there is a high probability that the conflict will be resolved. In any current situation, you should be open and honest, leaving the opportunity for your interlocutor to save face.
It is important to learn not to block the development of contradictions, but to strive to resolve them in non-conflict ways. It should be remembered that there are also conflict warnings. By changing our attitude to a problem situation and behavior in it, we can influence the psyche and actions of our opponent, and avoid conflict altogether, which will be a favorable outcome of any dialogue.
Literature:
- M. M. Kashapov “Fundamentals of Conflictology”, 2022.-116 p. - (Higher education).
- G. M. Breslav “History of scientific psychology”, 2022.
Basic ways to resolve conflict situations
All existing methods of conflict resolution can be divided into two large groups: negative and positive.
Negative means a struggle for one’s own interests, the main goal of which is to change the conflict situation. This can be achieved in various ways:
- influencing the other side;
- changing the balance of power;
- using both true and false information about an opponent for one’s own purposes;
- correctly assessing the other side and its capabilities.
This method of resolving a conflict is quite aggressive and often leads to a breakdown in unity between the parties in the future. This is why it should be avoided whenever possible.
Positive methods of conflict resolution involve negotiating to determine the most optimal solution to the situation. They, as a rule, require concessions from the subjects and lead to partial satisfaction of the interests of the parties.
Thus, there are many ways to resolve conflict situations, but the best way is to prevent it.
How to avoid conflicts
The most common reason for this kind of disagreement is a person’s excessive emotionality. If your goal is to prevent conflicts, you should learn to:
- calmness and resistance to stress, thanks to which you can calmly assess the current situation;
- keep your emotions under control in order to be able to convey your arguments to your opponent as effectively as possible;
- listen and pay attention to the words and expressions of feelings of others;
- realize the right of each person to resolve this or that situation in his own way;
- Do not use offensive words or do anything to humiliate your opponent.
Following these rules will help to avoid the emergence of various conflict situations, and therefore the need to look for the optimal way out of them.
Should conflicts always be avoided?
A conflict situation is always a clash of interests. Such a confrontation assumes that each side will try to defend its desires and point of view, which will inevitably lead to various kinds of disagreements. Of course, it is difficult to argue with the fact that a bad peace is better than a good quarrel, and it is better to remain silent somewhere than to provoke a scandal.
But if you look at the situation from the other side, it turns out that conflicts also have certain benefits. For example, they help to see existing problems in a new light. This applies to both personal relationships and business ones. Expressing your opinion is always better than silently experiencing your own dissatisfaction. In personal relationships, such silence will sooner or later lead to a large-scale scandal, which could end in a complete separation of people. This applies to couples, friends and even parents and children. No person can silently endure dissatisfaction all his life; sooner or later it will come out. The later this happens, the worse the consequences will be. That is why the periodic occurrence of conflict situations will help avoid global problems in relationships. However, it must be taken into account that they must be resolved correctly so that they do not drag on and become a habitual way of life.
As for business relationships, conflicts of various kinds also make it possible to see the problems existing in the team, the solution of which should be started as early as possible.
When people live for years without a conflict situation arising, this indicates a lack of closeness between them and indifference to each other. No one can read another person's mind and fully meet his expectations. Therefore, you must definitely speak out your desires, even if this leads to a small conflict. Trying to reach an agreement and solve the problem peacefully will improve relationships instead of causing harm.
However, too frequent disagreements are also not an indicator of a healthy relationship, so preventing conflicts is sometimes the best way to resolve the situation.
How to behave correctly in a conflict situation - and how to prevent it
In the work of any company, conflicts are inevitable - and you need to be emotionally prepared for this. By avoiding conflicts, we only aggravate the situation - therefore they need to be detected and eliminated in time (or better yet, prevented). Here's how to do it right.
What kind of conflicts are there?
Conflict can be hidden or open. The first occurs when a person takes a position of accommodation. Due to various circumstances, it may not be very beneficial or uncomfortable for an employee to immediately express his position - it is easier to adapt and play along with the opinion of a colleague or manager (and the latter, not seeing resistance, believes that they agree with him).
Another option is the “avoidance” position: the employee does not adapt, but does not express his thoughts. He pretends not to notice what is happening. But it is still difficult for him because his position is not heard. A hidden conflict develops when an employee cannot tell what does not suit him. He accumulates negative emotions that can manifest themselves at any moment.
Open conflict occurs when a person directly expresses his position. In this case, the skills of argumentation and empathy are especially important - if you do not use them, you risk offending your opponent. If both parties have respect for each other's position and (most importantly) feelings, then expressing different opinions is a positive and constructive dialogue.
Breathe deeply and listen
The No. 1 competency of modern managers is to be a nice person. Empathy and respect for the feelings of colleagues help create the right work environment, where employees are free from fear and can safely share their point of view (otherwise, emotional burnout may occur). These are the exact skills a leader needs.
- Ability to manage emotions . There are several techniques that will help you not act impulsively and make decisions consciously. First of all, count to at least 6 and take a deep breath. No matter how trivial it may sound, this method really works. Before giving a meaningful answer to a situation, try to talk to yourself about your attitude towards it (for example: “The question was unexpected for me”). And then, freed from emotions, you can clearly decide what to say.
- Listening skills. Do not interrupt the speaker, let him express his thoughts to the end. It is better to write down comments or questions and ask them later.
- The ability to hear. Giving an employee the right feedback means showing empathy. Our brain is designed in such a way that when we repeat out loud what another person has said, he begins to understand better. Try to adopt the technique of “active listening”: after your interlocutor’s remarks, repeat his question in your own words or offer your own interpretation of his thoughts. For example: “As far as I understand you / do I understand you correctly, your question is...”, “Do you mean...” When repeating the phrase, the interlocutor gets the feeling that he is not only being listened to, but also being heard. And if you suddenly misinterpret his words, you can get feedback and make sure that you are now “on the same wavelength” with him.
- Ability to provide reasons for feedback. You should avoid expressions like “I think” and “it seems to me” (for example, “I believe that the implementation of this project is impossible in the first ten days of the semester because...”). You need to prove your position and persuade effectively using data from research or statistics. An unreasoned answer is the basis for the development of conflict and negative emotions, which sooner or later will spill out either on a colleague, or on the task at hand, or on the same manager. You demonstrate your ability to listen when you say, for example: “You think that the implementation of this project is impossible in the first ten days of the semester,” - you seem to repeat and react to what the person says. Not just: “Okay, I heard you, let’s move on,” but you repeat.
- Ability to ask the right questions. The ability to properly talk to a person (and not get into his brain and soul) is very important both in group meetings and brainstorming sessions, and in individual contact. To ask the right question, try starting with “where,” “where,” “why,” “why,” “from,” etc. This will help show your interest and attention to detail. Often people use rhetorical questions, but they worsen the relationship between employees. For example, a manager may rashly ask: “And what do you mean that you carefully checked all the reports?” In this phrase one can immediately hear a negative attitude and sarcasm. Try to rephrase the question, and you will immediately feel like you have moved on to a constructive dialogue: “There are errors in your report (they need to be pointed out). Therefore, I would like to clarify why you did not check the report before sending it.”
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A conflict has occurred - what next?
If a conflict situation arises in a team, you need to carefully prepare for its resolution and only then take action. In reality, the opposite is more often the case: the manager immediately starts debriefing.
To resolve conflict between employees, first identify and describe the problem. Immediately calling conflicting team members to your office for a conversation (and this is precisely the option for resolving the situation that usually suggests itself) is a fundamentally wrong tactic. You should not be guided by emotions or first impressions - it is better to collect all the necessary facts and evidence (through personal observation or communication). This way you can present your claims to those who quarreled with reason. Talk to each of the parties to the conflict individually, find out in the calmest possible atmosphere what each of them thinks. Then make a decision based on the facts - and convey it to your employees in the same calm manner.
Conflicts between an employee and a manager can arise for various reasons. They are often associated with management errors - for example, when a task is set incorrectly, in the format “go there, I don’t know where, bring that, I don’t know what.” As a result, it is easier for an employee to refuse to complete an assignment than to understand it. Or, on the contrary, he performs the task at the peak of his capabilities, but the result does not suit the manager, colleagues or clients - there is a conflict. The main thing is to draw conclusions for the future in order to develop and grow. Conflict is normal, it is important to use its potential correctly. But if a manager clearly sets tasks, soberly assesses the capabilities of his subordinates and shares his experience and knowledge with them, the likelihood of a conflict situation tends to zero.