Nine ways to become bolder

9 14474 June 25, 2022 at 00:35 Author of the publication: Sergey Alekseev, doctor Editor: Valentina Alabugina

I'm a coward. I’m afraid of everything: returning home through the courtyards in the evening, walking past noisy companies, talking to the girl I like—of life in general. I can’t stand up for myself or my loved ones. I can’t hit a person, even if I need to defend myself. They tell me I'm a wuss. Nobody takes me seriously. How to survive in this world? How to get rid of cowardice?

At Yuri Burlan’s training “System-vector psychology” you can find a way out of this situation.

How to get rid of shyness and insecurity

This problem is posed to highly stressed people who find it difficult to communicate, since their level of verbal relationships is quite low.
As a rule, their ability to talk about generally accepted topics, as well as about relationships, is hampered by a small vocabulary, stereotyped thinking and excessive idealization of communication as a current one. Reasons for shyness

The first aspect, associated with a lack of literacy or objective reasoning, is solved by acquiring communication skills and increasing the level of one’s intelligence.

This means that any person at any time is ready to communicate on absolutely any topic, since the necessary knowledge for discussing them is always with him. Therefore, you should not think that communication difficulties will always arise for you.

It also doesn’t matter that you constantly think about what was said. To overcome shyness, the main thing is not to try to look for extraneous meaning in what is said to you, but to answer strictly the question posed

Be yourself, shyness will go away on its own later

The emergence of interest in a person also helps to get rid of shyness in a conversation, since it is then that the brain is genuinely important about what you get in response. In fact, this means that the engine of communication is interest.

Your interest, your desire to learn something and perhaps please. It’s worth brushing aside any thoughts that it’s not interesting to talk to you, that your thoughts are boring, since there are always people who are open-minded about this.

And this is possible if, even before the conversation, based on your appearance and behavior, someone becomes interested in you. Then they will forgive you for some hiccups, when all you have to do is just be real and speak for yourself.

Consequences of cowardice

Cowardice seems like a relatively “harmless” character trait, but in fact it has a lot of serious consequences:

people who lack courage often have mental disorders. They may suffer from increased anxiety, and this condition can develop into an anxiety disorder. In addition, cowardice is almost always associated with low self-esteem, and, alas, it is not far from apathy, serious depression and even thoughts of suicide;
the inability to overcome the fear of communication leads to loneliness and even social isolation. Such people cannot build a strong family because they are afraid of close relationships; they rarely have children - after all, this is a huge responsibility;
timidity and fearfulness are considered negative personality traits, and therefore are often subject to public condemnation;
Cowardly people are often prone to cowardice: fear prevents them from being generous, sacrificial, and selfless. Other people may suffer because of this. And, of course, such a person has less chance of strong friendships and team relationships at work;
the fear of taking responsibility at work, expressing oneself and being proactive often leads to the fact that cowardly people have a very low standard of living, and sometimes they lose their jobs completely;
the fear of expressing oneself leads to a feeling of unfulfillment, loss, inferior and boring life;
Cowardly people tend to be overly dependent on the opinions of others. Because of this, they can fall under the “bad” influence of others: join a sect, become addicted to drugs, start gambling, and so on. This is especially true for teenagers and young adults;
fear of standing up for your rights can lead to financial losses, deterioration of your reputation, problems with the law and other unexpected consequences;
finally, fear of self-development and reluctance to overcome it can lead to personality degradation.

How to stop being shy

How to overcome the fear of communicating with strangers? Don't worry, many people experience bouts of embarrassment every day. To get rid of shyness, you need to learn to control your fears. An ordinary person differs from a “coward” only in that he controls his fear, and not at all in that he never has to experience it. Therefore, the main task in the fight against shyness will be to overcome fear in communicating with strangers.

How to overcome this fear and how to stop being shy about people forever? Here are some recommendations to help you:

If you feel uncomfortable in a large group of people or in a crowd, then to combat this kind of embarrassment, you need to regularly perform the following exercise. feel part of the world that surrounds you. Take your eyes off the asphalt and observe what surrounds you (houses, trees, people passing by).

Meet your friends' friends. This way, your circle of contacts will quickly expand. To stop being afraid of people, try to communicate with them more.

Interact with complete strangers. Walk up to a person on the street and ask them something: how to find a grocery store, if they like the color of your suit, etc. It's surprising, but only 10% of people don't want to communicate. The rest respond very friendly.

Look people straight in the eye. At first, this may seem like a difficult task, but then you will realize that no one wants to “kill you with their eyes,” and the feeling of discomfort and fear will immediately decrease. But remember not to stare or stare.

On public transport, get used to sitting next to another person, even if there are empty seats. This will show your cowardice that it is completely unfounded.

A very effective and unusual way to get rid of shyness is to imagine that the people around you are characters in a movie. You watch them through the TV screen. Then the fear disappears quickly.

Think about how your life could change if you finally overcame fear and successfully got rid of shyness and timidity. Remember and apply some of the above recommendations, and then you will understand that by getting rid of this problem, you become a happier, freer person, new horizons open up before you, you should not miss this chance!

August 14, 2022 at 11:29 am

Lera Tsapleva

Why is it so important to be brave?

Many of us have a stereotype associated with courage and courage that these qualities are needed only in extreme situations, for example, when it is necessary to save someone’s life. That is, the manifestation of courage is equal to a feat. But, you see, we don’t find ourselves in such circumstances every day. Why then is courage needed? Let's figure it out:

Self-development and self-realization are important for every person. But this process is inevitably associated with the fact that we have to take on more responsibility, make difficult decisions, express ourselves in unconventional ways, learn new things and use the acquired skills in practice. And, of course, making mistakes in the process—you can’t live without them. All this requires remarkable courage. After all, remember yourself at university, when you first had to write a large scientific paper. To make even an introduction, I had to overcome the “fear of a blank sheet”, the fear of the dissatisfaction of the supervisor and many other fears. It's normal when you do something for the first time, especially something that depends entirely on yourself. And this really takes courage. You also need courage to honestly look your own shortcomings in the eye - without this, true personal development is impossible.
Courage helps a lot in communication. Meeting a person you like on the street or in a cafe, calling a new client at work for the first time, and sometimes even just asking for a fare on a minibus - for some these tasks are not difficult, but for some people, for example, introverts, they can be practically impossible. Often this deprives us of many opportunities: to improve our personal lives, get a promotion, make new friends. And without this, life can lose its charm.
A lot of courage is especially needed for close relationships. Because true intimacy involves vulnerability. In order to be yourself next to a person, to reveal your “dark” side to him, in order to accept the “shadow” of a loved one, you often really need to be able to cope with many fears - the fear of being rejected, misunderstood, the fear of loss, conflicts.
Sometimes you need courage to solve basic life problems. We have already mentioned the notorious fare in transport, but there are enough such small tasks that require courage every day in our lives. Making an appointment with a doctor, going through an interview, filling out the necessary documents, asking directions from a passerby on the street - these methods of communication may require overcoming your fears. But without it, we simply cannot live normally in the modern world, where communication plays a vital role.
It takes enormous courage to be 100% yourself, to express yourself freely. Coming up with a new idea at work, being creative in solving a problem, or even just getting a bold haircut can be very difficult if you are afraid of the opinions of others or “extra” responsibility. But if a person does not overcome these fears, he lives with the feeling that he is not living his life, is not fully realized, and is relegating himself to the background.
A bright and rich life, new experiences also require courage. After all, a person who cannot push aside his fears will never go on a trip, ride a roller coaster, climb a mountain or deep-sea dive - in general, he will deprive himself of the opportunity to fulfill his dreams. And the result will be a boring, gray life and, of course, dissatisfaction with it and with yourself.

Courage does not mean not being afraid of anything, but it is always about the internal readiness to overcome one’s own fears, the ability to act in spite of them. [1] And fear is one of the main “brakes” of human development. Fear paralyzes, deprives you of achievements, new knowledge, new impressions, and pleasure from life.

When we make the decision to put aside our fears and become bolder, life begins to change as if by magic. In fact, this change in your behavior allows you to achieve career and creative success, create close and fulfilling relationships, meet new people and get vivid impressions. She becomes truly complete. It’s as if the picture of life was gray before, but now it’s finally painted with all the colors of the rainbow. Having become accustomed to showing courage and courage, in a few months you will not recognize yourself and your life.

In addition, courage gives an incomparable feeling of pride in oneself, self-esteem, and high self-esteem. And these feelings are very motivating for further achievements.

“All my life I seemed to be floating with the flow: school, college, boring office work. An unloved person who was “wooed” by his parents - they say, he’s a good guy, you shouldn’t miss this. I was even getting ready to get married. And on the day when they took the documents to the registry office, it was as if something clicked inside: I want to become brave! I thought: where is my life going? All my life I was a good girl, I was afraid to make decisions, I didn’t dare to express my opinion - my parents always decided everything for me. I was seriously afraid that I would never meet anyone better than my fiancé, that I would be alone forever - and I was only 23 years old, the very beginning of my life! I was afraid to be left without education, without work, without housing - who needs me, where will I go with my meager skills. Dreams of travel and creativity were pushed into the farthest box, and I had already forgotten that I once had them.
That day, I literally stopped my boyfriend in the middle of the road and said that I would not go anywhere with him any further - in every sense. The next week I resolutely quit my job. I bought paints with my vacation pay and painted excitedly for the next two weeks. And then she overcame her modesty, posted her work on social networks and the next day received her first order for illustration.
My story is not like a fairy tale: I still haven’t met my “prince,” but only because I approach relationships much more responsibly, I’m not afraid of growing old alone and I don’t grab the first person I come across. I still don’t earn millions and haven’t traveled the whole world, but I’m finally doing what I love, I feel like I’m developing every day and that I have prospects. Life has found meaning. All you had to do was cast aside your fears and doubts and take the first step. It’s good that I did it on time!”
— Anna, 25 years old

How to remove shyness - tips

There is a proverb: you meet someone by their clothes. Agree, when you are stylishly dressed and have a good haircut, it is much easier to feel more confident.

Are you happy with your reflection in the mirror? So you can start working on yourself.

A good practice is talking to a stranger. If a passerby asks you for directions, you don’t automatically need to think first, maybe you can find a way to help the person find his way.

Often ask people around you what time it is. This can be done without any particular need. This exercise will help you overcome shyness. Pretty soon you will notice that you no longer have to overcome yourself to strangers.

There is no need to hide emotions, neither positive nor negative. And there is no need to be afraid of appearing to be an overly impulsive person. You will notice that people are not at all as critical of your every word as you previously thought.

Change is always for the better

To get rid of shyness, you need to take failures philosophically. By engaging in self-criticism, you are wasting your time, because everyone has long known that only those who do nothing make no mistakes.

Reconsider your social circle, it needs to be expanded. Have you liked to draw since childhood, but didn’t have enough time to take up painting? Sign up for a course and find new friends whose support you need.

Change your environment more often, go out into the world. To combat shyness, spend your vacation in an unusual way. Instead of the usual trip to the country, it’s better to take a short voyage abroad. Once you find yourself in a country you have long dreamed of visiting, you will forget about your fears. And besides, you will learn a lot of new things.

Every day, set yourself small but realistic goals. When the plan in the diary is completed by the evening, in addition to a feeling of satisfaction, confidence in your abilities will appear.

Dante's Inferno

Dante's guide to the underworld gives a classic description of cowards. On the very threshold of the Underworld, faceless souls crowded together; they were once people stricken with cowardice. These are indifferent onlookers at the feast of life, they knew neither glory nor shame, and the world does not need to remember them.

If a person, finding himself in a dangerous situation, thinks exclusively about escape, while ignoring the voice of reason, he is stricken with cowardice. Cowardice always chooses what is convenient and safe. Not solving a problem, but hiding from it - this is the basis on which the concept of cowardice is based.

Long COVID is a medical term coined by patients

The term "long covid"

was coined by patients and became popular after the hashtag #LongCovid appeared on Twitter. Today this expression and its derivatives are used in scientific and medical literature.

There is no common understanding of the clinical picture of post-Covid syndrome yet, so it is described in different ways. For example, NICE defines post-Covid syndrome as symptoms that last longer than 12 weeks, occur during or after acute coronavirus, and are not explained by another diagnosis. They often appear in groups and may change over time.

The term Long COVID is a broader concept that includes post-Covid symptoms of any duration.

Examples

A coward manifests himself as passivity, and any active actions are aimed solely at avoiding some other actions that are required, but perceived as dangerous. Vivid and unforgivable examples of cowardly behavior appear in wartime, when a fully capable person shirks service. It could also be desertion from the battlefield, self-inflicted wounds to be sent to the hospital as quickly as possible, or surrender of one’s fellow soldiers to the enemy in exchange for promises to save lives.

In crisis situations, cowardice is manifested by a person’s lack of participation in resolving a common matter or misfortune. Thus, a coward may refer to sudden weakness during a fire, or suddenly remember unfinished business at home, when a friend needs help in protecting himself from offenders.

Refusal to take risks can be either a manifestation of prudence or cowardice - the main thing is to take into account the context of the situation. If a person is paralyzed by fear and refuses to jump on a rope from a bridge, then this may be a completely logical decision. But refusing to jump with a parachute from a burning plane is not justified by preserving life or a decision dictated by common sense; moreover, a person who refuses to jump is delaying the queue and endangering others.

A coward will not go to his superiors to clarify problems related to payment, for fear of losing his job. The guy will not stand up for his girlfriend, fearing a fight with boors or antisocial groups. A friend will not express words of support to his comrade in the presence of a large number of condemning people or even one significant person.

Everyone has weaknesses on which a person’s behavior depends. In any case, there is a betrayal of some universal or social values for the sake of fears and one’s own illusory well-being. The illusion lies in the fact that by constantly running away from problems, a coward not only does not solve the situation in favor of change, but also contributes to its aggravation.

Life after COVID-19: how to cope with post-Covid syndrome?

Various health organizations, including NICE, have developed guidance on Long COVID, which provides advice to healthcare professionals and patients themselves.

Get rid of pulmonary symptoms

For prolonged shortness of breath and other pulmonary symptoms, NICE recommends that patients have a chest x-ray 12 weeks after infection with coronavirus, and determine the condition and endurance of the respiratory system using functional tests. The tests help evaluate the functioning of the respiratory and cardiovascular systems at home. Blood oxygen levels can be monitored using a pulse oximeter.

Doctors at the American Mayo Clinic recommend that people with chronic shortness of breath:

avoid smoking, including passive smoking;
avoid high and low temperatures. Being or being active in the cold or in a very hot room increases shortness of breath;
exercise regularly, but in doses, which increases the endurance of the respiratory system;
monitor your weight. Excess weight overloads the respiratory system.

To get rid of shortness of breath, many experts suggest performing breathing exercises that improve blood circulation and increase the elasticity of lung tissue.

Research is ongoing into the effectiveness of other methods:

hyperbaric oxygenation - a method of saturating the body with oxygen in hyperbaric pressure chambers;
drugs montelukast, deupirfenidone;
2-hour breathing and singing classes designed to retrain the core breathing muscles.

Singing is an effective way to improve physical and mental health. There is a theory that each internal organ has its own vibration frequency. If the functionality of the organ is impaired, then the vibration frequency becomes different. When a person sings, he returns normal vibration to the diseased organ. Singing trains the respiratory muscles, normalizes blood pressure, improves cognitive functions, and relieves depression and insomnia.

Restore the functioning of the cardiovascular system

During coronavirus, especially in severe cases of the disease, potassium and magnesium, the main protectors of the heart and blood vessels, are actively removed from the body. Potassium deficiency leads to chest pain, high blood pressure, arrhythmia, and even the development of ventricular fibrillation, which often ends in death. Magnesium deficiency increases these problems and also causes cognitive and mental disorders.

Cardiologists recommend that all people with cardiovascular problems take medications with potassium and magnesium. They improve the regeneration of cardiac impulses, the contractile function of the myocardium, and maintain the elasticity of the walls of blood vessels.

Professor of the Sklifosovsky Research Institute D. A. Napalkov notes that during acute coronavirus and after it, many people with arterial hypertension stop taking medications that regulate blood pressure, which leads to heart attack, stroke, thrombosis, and arrhythmia.

There are myths floating around the Internet that medications for high blood pressure increase the risk of contracting coronavirus. But doctors deny these rumors and urge people with arterial hypertension and other cardiovascular diseases not to abandon first-line medications.

Getting rid of chronic fatigue syndrome, mental disorders

Since post-Covid weakness is in many ways similar to chronic fatigue syndrome, the principle of treatment for them may be the same. NICE guidelines for the treatment of CFS outline the following strategies:

Pacing is a self-help technique that involves evenly distributing physical activity throughout the day and knowing the limits of your endurance.
DLFC - differentiated physical therapy. There is evidence that aerobic exercise in the form of walking, cycling, swimming in the pool, dancing helps cope with fatigue, anxiety, depression, improve sleep and general well-being.
CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy. The effectiveness of CGP for chronic fatigue syndrome is 85%.

The CBT method is also very effective in helping with anxiety, depression, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorders, sleep disorders, and antisocial behavior. A person reacts to external and internal stimuli in a certain way and at the same time develops a certain model of behavior that is unique to him. Dysfunctional behavior patterns cause many mental disorders.

Cognitive-behavioral exercises allow you to correct a dysfunctional behavior pattern into a functional, effective one. They can be done during consultations with a psychologist, or independently.

What it is

The definition of cowardice in any sources implies an attitude towards this quality as a weakness, and a condemned, criminal weakness. This can be explained by the fact that under the influence of emotions a person is capable of any action; sometimes a high degree of cowardice can lead to serious crimes. It turns out that fear can indeed have a strong stimulating effect, but when there is a trait of cowardice in a person, it takes on destructive forms.

Next to the destructive forms of cowardice, there is often betrayal, since, without internal resilience to withstand external pressure, a person’s opinion will change to suit the circumstances with only one goal - to avoid personal negative consequences. Cowardice excludes personal responsibility and the ability to make judicious decisions about any actions; all human activity is subordinated to fear. It is especially worth noting that fear can arise from a real threat or imaginary problems, but is experienced by a person in the same way.

It is worth carefully distinguishing between cowardice and caution, attentiveness, accuracy - temporary retreat, waiting for an opportune moment have nothing to do with stopped activity, implying rather tactics. Cowardice does not want to look closely and look for solutions, it is not able to wait or show attentiveness - this is a strong instinctive feeling that makes a person run when the source of fear approaches

There is a wary and contemptuous attitude towards cowards in society, since one cannot expect reliability from a person. They are the first to escape, leaving the weak and helpless in trouble, they resort to lies and sabotage for the purpose of their own safety and benefit, it happens that because of the fear of revealing the secret, murders were committed. A coward is an unreliable person for joint activities or worthwhile relationships. After all, the main ability is missing - processing internal fear.

In a normal development situation and with a harmonious personality, a person is able to process his own experiences, highlight the main values on the basis of moral standards, ethical principles, and not instinctive immediate reactions. A coward has no limiting factors of internal principles, allowing instincts to guide behavior. Many believe that cowardice is the most terrible vice, lowering a person to the level of an animal, and comparisons from the animal kingdom are also not entirely flattering, since among lions, wolves, and elephants there is a tendency to protect their relatives, rather than cowardly flight.

Cowardice helps a person avoid solving important social and life problems. Procrastination, constant entertainment events, aimless pastime are tools of activity, the use of which organizes a cowardly avoidance of confrontation with unpleasant but demanding moments.

Fear has big eyes

All people and animals experience it. This is the essence of human consciousness. In unexpected situations, people are driven by the instinct of self-preservation. Fear is something that really exists. If a person is on an airplane that begins to shake, the appearance of a feeling of fear is quite normal, but if panic appears even at the thought of turbulence, this is already panic timidity, cowardice.

In emergency situations, the hormone adrenaline is released into the human body. It creates a feeling of confusion and slight panic. This is the feeling that a person has in a specific extreme situation. A person can control it, suppress it, although this is difficult and depends entirely on the level of danger.

Fear is caused by a sense of self-preservation