Modern women receive education and build careers on an equal basis with men. They set world records, sit in parliament, and run successful businesses. At the same time, they do not lose their femininity and strive to feel confident. But not everyone succeeds easily. The main reason for insecurity is dissatisfaction with one's appearance. Some believe that their nose is too big, others rely on short legs, and still others dream of enlarging their breasts. And this is not to mention the fact that most women certainly want to lose extra pounds and look slim and attractive. Young women are haunted by such concepts as “ideal facial contours”, “elastic body”, “thighs without cellulite”. They are ready to go on grueling diets, spend considerable sums on surgical interventions, cosmetic procedures, anti-aging creams, dietary supplements, etc. And all for the sake of looking like the skinny beauties from billboards and glossy magazine covers. How to love your body and appearance? Maybe it's time to stop being obsessed and love your natural self?
The main theses of psychologist Labkovsky
In the lecture “How to love yourself with any appearance,” Labkovsky presented a number of key points. Namely:
- In order to please someone, you must first like yourself. Only inner self-confidence, and not external gloss, has true magnetism.
- Neither makeup, nor beautiful clothes, nor refined manners - nothing will work if you do not love yourself. If you are embarrassed and afraid of criticism, all these attributes of beauty will look ridiculous.
- Accept yourself as you are. As you cultivate self-love, your attractiveness in the eyes of others will increase.
- Don't hold a grudge against those who find you unattractive. You don’t think everyone is beautiful either, do you?
- Accept yourself entirely. You can’t love only your beautiful “parts.”
- Be clear about what you want from your appearance. Describe your problem on paper. This will make it much easier for you to start working on self-improvement.
- Accept compliments, don't reject them. Even if you understand that the person is just saying this out of politeness. Rejoice in pleasant words.
- Praise yourself and your appearance. Do this both in private and in front of others.
Accept the fact that you are unique
How to love your body if you constantly compare yourself to others? This habit is harmful to self-esteem and simply drives a person into a dead end, since no amount of effort will help him be absolutely better than everyone around him.
People always analyze the appearance of others and get upset if they notice its superiority over their own. Don't blame yourself for this, it's human psychology. Love your body as an amazing shell, unlike anyone else, which houses an equally unique soul. Realizing that you are the only one who has all these original traits will make you happier and help you get rid of self-consciousness.
Take action
Some people prefer to retreat into their comfort zone and complain that nothing about their appearance changes. Excess weight is justified by your body type or poor metabolism, and unkempt hair is justified by a lack of time to style. If you cannot accept yourself for who you are and really want to change something in your appearance, start taking action.
Sign up for a gym and don't be lazy to attend classes. This doesn't mean you need to torture yourself with long workouts. Start small, and it will not only make your figure fit, but also increase your self-esteem. You will know that you are putting in the effort and taking your destiny into your own hands.
You don't have to try to be perfect, but if you're concerned about your appearance, you can tweak it a little. Visit a beauty salon, update your hairstyle and immediately notice how your mood will become more positive.
Change your bad habits. Avoid excessive consumption of sweets or starchy foods, but do not push yourself into too strict limits. Drink more water, consume vitamins. A healthy appearance is the key to true beauty.
How to love yourself and your face. How to love your body when you really can’t.
You have to love yourself.
Love your body. A woman is only as beautiful as her self-confidence. We heard everything, we know. But sometimes loving the body is just words, distant, empty and hateful. And no matter what psychologists, women's magazines, fashion coaches say, we cannot accept some part of ourselves.
This is actually my story, although no one understood me all my life. “Why should you worry, you’re Beautiful.” Only people don’t realize that, unfortunately, our rejection of some part of the body, or the figure as a whole, is a feature of the psyche, it’s a problem inside, not outside.
I have an incredibly beautiful friend, one of the most beautiful girls I know personally, who does not see her beauty, constantly improves her body and is never satisfied with herself. And this despite the fact that her figure is the cherished dream of women.
There is always a lot of pain and fear, an obsession with physical beauty. I struggled with this for many years, overcame bulimia, began to see my beauty and feel feminine, but I understand that I still don’t love my body completely. As soon as I accept one, I begin to see the other. If you divide my whole life into stages, then in each stage I was dissatisfied with some part of my body. Moreover, this “Dissatisfied” was not just slightly present in my life, it was an obsession, the subject of my constant complaints and suffering, I was fixated on it!
For example, at the age of 13, I was unhappy with my stomach. I was embarrassed by him, wore closed swimsuits, I thought about why someone has a flat stomach, and I have a convex one, why plump girls have smooth, smooth skin, and I have flabby, etc. I compared myself to every girl, I was just obsessed with it.
Around the age of 15, my stomach leveled out and became beautiful, it seemed like I could calm down, but I concentrated on my cheeks. My cheeks gave me no rest. I could not eat for several days, just so that these terrible chubby cheeks would sleep. I hated being photographed and considered myself a freak. And this despite that. That a boy liked me, I had a boyfriend, everyone around me told me that I was beautiful. I didn't hear anyone. I only saw terrible ugly cheeks and didn’t understand, are they blind? How do they not notice this? I ran to the toilet to vomit after eating, just so that my cheeks wouldn’t appear again.
At 16, I began to hate my legs. I dressed in jeans even in the hot summer, I was ashamed to undress on the beach, I constantly beat myself on the knees for how wide they were and cried, envying my friends with beautiful slender legs.
During my pregnancy with my first child, I did not have bulimia attacks. I loved my body. I liked it entirely, every part of it, I wasn’t embarrassed by any of my features and that’s just amazing! I enjoyed myself without feeling despair or hatred, even when I gained 18 kg and my entire stomach, hips, breasts and buttocks were covered with stretch marks. I liked myself. And this proves that in fact, our acceptance and love for our body does not depend at all on what we see in the mirror. I still can’t understand why then, without doing anything to cope with my psychological problems, I stopped hating myself. I accepted myself in the first 1.5 years of the life of Kirill, my eldest son. Perhaps our souls are truly connected with him for many lives and his love for me healed me, I felt his unconditional adoration while I was completely focused only on him. All in all. I can’t find any other, more rational explanations, sorry.
Then, when I again went out into the outside world, my life was divided into stages of hatred of legs again, hips, then cheeks again, then breasts, then butts, then breasts again. And so I understand that I have never truly accepted myself entirely. At every period of my life, I had an obsession about some kind of ugliness, which haunted me and drove me crazy.
And it seems like I like myself, I dealt with a good bunch of my cockroaches, I coped with bulimia, I fell in love with my legs, my figure, my face, but that’s bad luck. Now I walk around and tell everyone about how I don’t like breasts. Lord, how long can that be? I tried to do therapeutic exercises. Give yourself compliments, talk to your body. But nothing works just like that.
There is no magic remedy that will work itself once and for all. Once. And I turned into a mega-confident woman who adores every cell of her body, her voice, her every move.
Once. And I started earning millions, conducting trainings all over the world, and collecting huge halls.
Everything starts small. Any result is the result of your own actions. No one will walk part of the way for you. Love is a verb. This is work, these are daily little things aimed at taking care of yourself, for your joy, for your benefit.
You can’t love yourself by going through years of therapy and doing nothing. Waiting for a sudden epiphany. You can't love yourself by reading women's magazines or groups. You can love yourself only by taking responsibility for what you already have and starting to take care of it.
Yes, some people have better breasts. Someone is slimmer. Someone taller. Someone is more talented.
But I only have me. I only have my body. My form. My sizes. My capabilities. No others.
I can continue to hate it, hide it, be embarrassed, or I can just start loving it. Not with emotions, words and admiration, but with regular actions.
In general, I came up with a list. How can you still love your body, a part of it, or a quality that really doesn’t suit you?
I decided to live and act according to this list - a plan for 2 months, and then write a control report here. Did I manage to cope with my rejection, was I able to love my breasts, did I find a new flaw in myself that strengthened my neurosis.
I invite everyone who really, seriously, truly wants to change something in their relationship with their body to PM me. Let's create a conversation and act together. I will be very glad to receive any support.
And now I will give you my list - a plan for curing body hatred:
1 accept the fact that you have something “Ugly”. Accept a part of the body, its appearance and shape, realizing that it is a part of you, after all, it needs your attention just like everything else that is loved and beautiful.
2 stop feeling ashamed and embarrassed about what you have. Stop hiding it, hiding it under certain types of clothing or makeup, disguising yourself and trying to “Jump” into someone else’s skin. You are you. It’s better if they love you in your guise, albeit without admiration, but for real. Than, looking at your disguise, they will love the face, shape, body of someone else. There will be no acceptance if you hide all the time. Neurosis.
3 stop telling people about your shortcomings. Yes, I understand. It’s nice to discuss thigh fat, cellulite, stretch marks, skin condition after childbirth, hair, teeth and everything else with friends. You understand right away. that you are not the only one with problems. relief. necessary, but we must give it up. there is no such thing, but there is a lot of harm. Every time we notice ourselves and draw the attention of others to our shortcomings, we strengthen them. Every time we talk about how bad we are here and there, we betray our body. Think back to when you were a child. It probably happened more than once. When did your mom, dad, or grandma tell other people about your faults or shortcomings? Do you remember how painful and offensive it was?
When we do this to ourselves, we also feel hurt and offended. We just don't feel it anymore. , the feeling of self-worth disappears.
4 stop living in illusions and hoping that you will someday have a “Alien” body. Loving your body presupposes accepting its nature and not demanding the impossible from it. That is, if you are by nature “Broad Boned” (I’m talking about bones), then it’s stupid to dream that you’ll fast for a week and get thin wrists, fragile shoulders, and inch-sized legs. This won't happen. If your breasts are size 5, it is unlikely that they will turn into a tiny size 1, even if you switch to prana-eating. You just need to come to terms with what is initially and try to do everything so that your natural constitution blossoms in its true beauty.
5 you need to look for beautiful people similar in image to you. For example, find on the Internet a photo of a girl with your body type and similar bone structure to you, who would delight you. For example, at one time I suffered a lot, believing that I didn’t have super-steep hips and a wasp waist (no, I was really embarrassed about this, you know? Oo. Oo. I was surprised by the film “The 5th Element”, in which a girl was called the ideal, without pronounced waist, rounded Brazilian butt and with a very non-standard face. Then I realized that my stereotypes are bullshit, and the ideal is not a clear concept. And I have always been inspired by the actress Alisa Milano, who, with very modest parameters, is considered an excellent beauty. In general, , there are a lot of examples. This same Angelina Jolly, who is the idol of so many girls, is very far from the hourglass.
6 stop constantly checking “Has Something Changed?” At one time I was constantly measuring my waist, at another time I was constantly measuring my butt, at another time I constantly wore short skirts and looked: “Well, is it normal? Have your legs changed? legs? does » so do a lot of my friends. It seems like a small thing. a trifle is the real rejection of the body, the expectation of some incomprehensible “Miracle”, as well as the smell of an obsession. Leave the mirrors alone, leave them alone. as it is. (If something really changes, you will notice).
For at least 2 months, don’t expect a miracle to happen and just accept the option that exists. ABOUT
Don't be self-flagellation
If you take the first steps towards self-acceptance, you already deserve your own respect. Don't blame yourself for breakdowns and negative thinking that comes back to you during times of stress or poor health. The habit of underestimating oneself can develop over years, so it is impossible to correct the situation in a couple of minutes.
Don't scold yourself for eating an extra piece of cake or missing a class at the gym. Such small mistakes should not lead you astray. Don't go back to the beginning and give up because of one small mistake. Just keep changing your thinking and lifestyle further, without focusing on your mistakes.
Loving your own body, as well as your appearance in general, is a task that should confront every representative of the fair sex. This mindset will give you confidence and make you more attractive to people around you.
Starting with appearance, you can continue to develop this feeling in yourself and pay attention to other aspects of life. Good self-esteem will be useful at work, in creative development and even in love relationships. Make self-respect and self-love your habit and lifestyle. Then everyone around will certainly see the happiness and lightness emanating from you, and you will always be the most beautiful.
Turn your flaw into your advantage
Every time you feel sad because you have a snub nose or a gap between your teeth, think - is this bad? Who and when said that having an interesting face shape or a curvy figure is shameful and unacceptable?
Turn your flaws into an interesting highlight that adorns you, and perhaps what you didn’t like for so long will become a unique feature that will help you love your body, as well as your appearance in general.
First steps: taking care of your body
First of all, you need to learn how to properly take care of your body. These things may seem obvious, but often it is the neglect of one of the points that prevents you from loving and accepting yourself. The best ways to care for which the body will definitely respond with gratitude:
- Healthy sleep.
- Proper nutrition.
- Vitamins.
- Walks.
- Physical exercise.
- Breaks from work and other activities (5 minutes every hour).
- Planning.
- Communication.
- Rest.
- Lists: gratitude, achievements, things that bother you. It is also worth writing down any ideas, tasks, events.
- Help from others.
- Meditations.
- Rejection of the unimportant.
- Time for yourself and your favorite activity.
How to love your acne face. About acne and quality of life
The beauty of a woman, elevated by society to a cult, the desire of people to improve themselves in everything... How should a girl with acne feel in our society? I will share my sad thoughts about a problem that, unfortunately, is not alien to many. “You are smart, you have an excellent education, look how your boss appreciates you, how much fun your friends have with you,” your mother, lover, family tell you.. And you yourself love life, believe in miracles, believe in yourself. And everything would be fine, but one look in the mirror and you’re not yourself: they’re all acne. At first they upset you, but you are a fighter! Here they are, the difficulties! Hooray! And then... What happens to self-esteem when nothing helps. You learn to live with acne, but despite all the arguments of reason, your self-esteem creeps inexorably downward... Then strange thoughts come to your head. For example, they didn’t allow me to carry out a project at work, so why be surprised, I have acne. And you convince yourself that appearance is not the most important thing for happiness in life, but on the inside you always know that the main thing is. The most important thing will always be what you don’t have. Or, for example, things didn’t work out with a guy, and you think: right, nature has provided for everything, he should look for a healthy girl, she will give him healthy children, but my health is so-so, and fortunately for him, I have it “on written on his face." You yourself gradually give up pleasures, meet, withdraw, run... If at the same time you are also a perfectionist, then denying yourself so imperfect (which is visible to everyone, even people on the subway) leads to depression. The quality of your life declines, and there are almost no exceptions.
