- September 15, 2018
- Psychology of thinking
- Raisa Bogacheva
Each of us is unique. However, many people share the same personality traits. And, for example, one person can have traits of both an extrovert and an introvert. Most often, one of these qualities predominates in a person. Can an introvert become an extrovert? The answer to this question follows.
How to become an extrovert if you are an introvert?
Often a person can become an introvert for a while based on some events in his life, the same thing happens with an extrovert. Everything can depend on the mood or the people around you. Many introverts believe that they are different from other people, that life is much more difficult for them. There is also a common myth that introverts hate people and avoid interacting with them. In fact, such statements are far from the truth. In this article, we’ll look at simple tips on how to slightly change your character and acquire new qualities for yourself, and also learn about the advantages and disadvantages of introverts and extroverts.
Method 2 – enroll in acting classes
Classes in a theater studio are a simple way to stop being an introvert and become sociable in a short time. Now in large and medium-sized cities there are many affordable courses lasting from 1 month. After training, talented actors (and just lucky ones) are even hired to act in extras or commercials.
During acting, a person gives vent to accumulated emotions and becomes liberated. In addition, he has to interact a lot with partners, and this allows him to train his communication skills.
This is interesting! Did you know that among world-famous stars there are many introverts? Emma Watson, Keanu Reeves, Johnny Depp, Salma Hayek and even the outrageous Lady Gaga told journalists about their character traits.
Introverts
Identifying an introvert is not that easy. Very often, such people put on an extrovert mask in order to simply appear sociable, but as a rule they say little in large companies. Many people think that such people do not like people and resist communication. But this is not true. Introverts carefully choose their social circle and love to talk about topics that interest them.
Introverts love solitude. This definitely won't scare them. They can calmly be alone and pay great attention to their inner state. They do not like noisy places with a lot of people. Introverts love small social circles and quiet places to relax. They quickly get tired of the hustle and bustle and feel emotionally exhausted.
This is why people with such qualities spend more time alone, thus restoring their emotional state. They choose a job where there are few people, or get a job with friends. They often plan everything in advance and love predictability; they schedule their day completely.
One communication. Other analysis
Let's start with the fact that there are no pure psychotypes described by Jung among us. Most people are ambiverts, meaning they have average scores on the introversion/extroversion scale.
“In addition, an effective leader can be both an extrovert and an introvert,” notes Victoria Filippova, partner at the headhunting company Cornerstone. — People change as their personality develops
Even a natural introvert develops communication skills over time, and from the outside, few will see him as a representative of a non-communicative psychotype.” However, while they caution against oversimplifying human nature, experts agree that certain business functions are best suited to outgoing extroverts, while others are better handled by focused introverts.
It is better to use extroverts in the field of communications, as well as for solving problems where you need to negotiate or simplify complex situations. This could be a job that involves training other people or sales. People with pronounced extroverted tendencies are strong in developing client relationships and establishing contacts in HR and GR. Their activity helps to achieve success in launching new projects and bringing the company to new markets.
It is useful to involve introverts (and among world-famous leaders there are 40% of them) in serious analytical work and in-depth study of issues. Such a person is good at scrupulous work: budgeting, planning, writing regulations and developing business processes.
“To put it roughly, we can formulate the following idea: introverts are more effective at planning and control, and in organizing work and motivating employees, which is associated with a large volume of communication, extroverts win,” sums up managing director of Rational Grain Recruitment Agency Olga Stepanova. But both functions are important for successful management. What to do if one person does not combine all the necessary qualities? Stepanova gives the example of a large company that was headed by a director with pronounced introvert qualities. Then they hired a HR director to help him, a strong extrovert whose tasks included compensating for the shortcomings of his unsmiling boss. And overall, the HR director did a good job.
Another company that Stepanova observed while selecting a director for working with key accounts chose two final candidates. Each had impressive experience, but in character they were two typical opposites. As a result, both were invited to work. A bright extroverted communicator became the director of the department. And his deputy was appointed an introverted analyst, an expert with good intuition, reliable and without a love of publicity. The tandem turned out just great!
At the same time, the difference between an introvert and an extrovert lies not only in external behavior, but in how he receives “recharge,” adds Victoria Filippova
For an introvert, it is important to be alone and get your thoughts in order. For an extrovert this is not necessary; he rests when there are a lot of people around
“When communicating with representatives of the sociable psychotype, we try to call more often, find informational topics to discuss, and, of course, get more feedback from them,” says headhunting consultant Anna Grebenkova. — And our introverted customers prefer to communicate by mail: briefly, concisely, to the point. When working with them, we focus on a clear interaction scheme.”
Behavior with others
Introverts do not like empty chatter, prefer to discuss only important points and do not pay much attention to strangers. From the outside it may look arrogant, but introverts are very simple by nature. They just choose their social circle carefully. Such people look like hermits.
An introvert may indeed be reserved, but he has a very rich inner world. These are the people who direct their energy inside themselves and practically do not show their emotions in front of strangers. However, among friends, these are most often very sociable people who can tell interesting and funny stories. They perceive this or that situation in life more acutely, which means they worry more than extroverts. But since they don’t show it outwardly, those around them don’t try to support them.
Acceptance of child typology
The typology should be taken as the child's appearance. It's not always easy to accept a child for who he is.
It is very important to understand your child's temperament in non-negative terms. Each temperament has both strengths and weaknesses
It cannot be said that one type is better than another, that an introvert is better than an extrovert. These are different people, they perceive the world differently, and they have different driving advantages.
For example, a child gets up early in the morning, excitable - in other words, a lark. A label is attached to him - “fascist”, because... does not allow parents to sleep. Often some inconvenient or poorly understood character quality receives a negative name, while a normal neutral quality receives a specific negative coloring. And the self-awareness and self-esteem of a small child is built from the outside in. “Mom says I’m a fool, so I’m a fool. A smart boy means I’m a smart boy.”
The child thinks about himself the way we talk about him: us, Marya Ivanovna in kindergarten and a couple of friends. And only at a later age can he come to his senses and say: “She’s a fool herself.” The little one will listen to everything, absorb everything, and build his self-esteem.
Temperament can be accepted, and everyone will benefit from it, because you will understand what it is and how you can use it, where your strengths are.
Or you may not accept it. And since it cannot be put anywhere, the child or adult will become neurotic, and the efficiency will be less. It's like spitting against the wind, swimming against the current. The quality of temperament can be used as a driving force. And fighting this is as useless as fighting the wind.
Extroverts
Now let's talk about extroverts. This is the complete opposite of introverts - very active and sociable people. They love to be in large companies and attract attention. They love making new acquaintances and do not see any obstacles to this. They find a common language with almost every person and make friends very easily.
Extroverts become mentally exhausted if they are alone for a long time, without communication. They love to work in a large team, share their experience and make new acquaintances. Such people can usually communicate all day long. Leaving the workplace, they do not feel morally tired; they can still meet with friends and spend the evening in a noisy company. Extroverts are always looking for adventure and crave innovation in their lives.
What is extraversion?
There are no two people on Earth with the same characters. Each person has a unique appearance and temperament. The desire to make new friends, the ability to find a common language with strangers, the ability to be in front of everyone - all this is extroversion. This concept has Latin roots, it comes from the words “extra” - “outside” and “versie” - “turn”. The inner world and his own value system for an extrovert plays a secondary role, everything he lives with is around him, he always splashes out energy and feelings on the people around him, without keeping anything to himself.
Extraversion - characteristics
Professional psychologists are able to distinguish people by character traits. The ratio of “extroversion and introversion” is one of the most common methods of comparison that can give an accurate description of a person. An introvert lives in his own inner world, closed from prying eyes, rarely letting anyone in. The extroverted personality type is like an open book. Its main features can be called:
- The desire to be visible.
- Love for noisy and crowded companies.
- A specialty that involves communicating with other people.
- Desire and ability to achieve goals.
- Intemperance, expressing both good and bad opinions to a person’s face.
- Good nature, a large number of friends.
- An extrovert acts and then thinks.
- The ability to enjoy little things.
- During a conversation, extrovers look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor.
- Creativity is the favorite field of activity for an extrovert.
Comfort zone
First you need to understand that their life is some kind of large comfort zone. No unnecessary acquaintances, new adventures, no spontaneity. You need to understand that some things in life cannot be familiar and it is worth, for example, making new friends or finding a new hobby that can help you develop.
The main thing is not to overdo it. It's important to start small. If, for example, in the morning an introvert likes to drink coffee and read a book alone, you should not immediately go to work in the morning and start meeting people passing by. It is better to replace morning reading with a run and say hello to your neighbor when you meet. You can read a book in the evening.
Stage 2. Expanding your social circle
As strange as it may sound, to become more sociable, you need to communicate more. There are a few simple techniques that can move you in this direction.
Change your routine habits
Visit different stores, take new routes to work, dine in different cafes. Even during working hours, when going to the toilet, you can go up to another floor or go to the opposite end of the corridor. Every day you will see new faces, and this is a great opportunity for dating and communication.
Use social networks
Many people underestimate social networks, not realizing how often virtual communication leads to very promising real acquaintances. The main thing is not to be shy about inviting people to meetings, you can even offer to meet in a small group (if it is a group associated with common interests).
Don't mince your words
Often we limit ourselves to a simple “Please!” when we helped a colleague, or “Thank you!” when we received help. But it’s much better to say “Please! I’m sure you would help me too!” or “Thank you! And please contact me if you need help!” Phrases like these break through barriers and bring people together.
Combine business with pleasure
An interesting and exciting activity may well serve as a catalyst for new friendships. You can sign up for courses or trainings where there will be people with the same interests. Joint activities are an excellent opportunity to meet new people and start communicating. There are also special interest clubs that anyone can join, for example, there is a club for those who like to play “Mafia” in almost every city.
Invite and accept invitations
Like in the movie “Always Say Yes!” Do not refuse invitations when you are invited somewhere, and also try to invite someone yourself. This is a great way to become more sociable without creating an uncomfortable environment for yourself. You can choose how you spend your time. At best, it will be a pleasant date or a friendly conversation, at worst, it will simply be a valuable communication experience.
Don't be afraid to hear "No"
We are designed in such a way that every “No!” burns us. Therefore, adults experience panic fear of rejection and miss a lot of opportunities in life. But you don’t have to be afraid of the word “no.” Start breaking your usual behavior patterns. When you see a cute stranger (or stranger) at a bus stop, don’t hesitate to start talking. Even if the acquaintance does not work out, you will not lose anything, but will only gain valuable experience.
In conclusion, let's discuss such a simple, but at the same time such a complex question:
More seriousness
The next way to become more self-confident is to take responsibility. If at work an introvert politely refuses to perform some important task or raise funds for a colleague’s birthday, then it’s worth trying yourself in this matter. By performing some unusual tasks, you can become more confident and earn the respect of your colleagues.
It is important to understand that leaving your comfort zone may not make you feel very good. But that's the goal. You need to try yourself in something new and gradually get used to it.
Hobbies
Since extroverts vitally need social interaction, their hobbies are social and sociable: going to a cafe, team sports, going to a bowling alley or club, etc. The more people there are, the better the extrovert feels. Another feature regarding hobbies and hobbies is that an extrovert often changes them and is superficially interested in something.
For an introvert, the best time to relax alone is reading a book, drawing, walking, playing a musical instrument. Introverts are deeply interested in something, try to get to the bottom of it, and study the issue comprehensively. They are not fans of noisy parties and companies.
Unpredictability
Another way to become an extrovert is to do spontaneous things. There is no need to immediately buy tickets and fly to the island. You can, for example, invite a friend to go for a walk and not plan the place of the walk, but just go where you want. Or surprise your loved one, improvise. Break away from your plan for the day and do something that you have really wanted for a long time.
For girls, changing their hairstyle is suitable; such actions sometimes change their lives radically. For guys, a radical wardrobe change can be effective. Sometimes your mood and outlook on life also depend on your clothes.
Before an important meeting, you can think through the dialogue in advance and be prepared for any outcome. This will help you worry less and not say stupid things, and behave confidently. You can read books about developing social skills. People think that extroverts communicate better with other people and are more sociable than introverts. But this is not true.
An introvert who gets used to a person can talk to him for hours on end. Therefore, at a party or in a large company at work, you can chat with at least one or two people on interesting topics. Don't worry that they might not be interested. As mentioned above, you can come up with a dialogue in your head in advance so as not to feel insecure. Such a spontaneous conversation with a stranger can be the beginning of a new strong friendship.
Characteristic
You can read about the opposite type in the article about the character of an introvert, but now let’s find out what kind of temperament the hero of today’s article has.
Basic character traits
Self-esteem is most often inflated, apparently because they love self-expression and demonstration
As a result, they receive attention and recognition, and even a negative assessment is an indicator of success for them. Energy is gained through communication and new emotions and impressions. The longer they are in motion, the more energetic they become, so they very rarely pause, otherwise it will be very difficult to “pull yourself together” later. They cannot engage in the same type of activity, they constantly need breaks, otherwise they feel oversaturated and disgusted with work
And even while reading a book, in order not to lose interest in it, they will find a bunch of intermediate activities to relieve the accumulated tension. For example, after making a cup of tea, looking at social networks, petting a cat and calling a friend, they will be able to return to the previous activity with excitement and a desire to continue.
They prefer to have shallow knowledge, but in a wide range of topics. They can support any conversation because of their inquisitiveness and curiosity. Usually considered optimists, they are ready to waste their energy to the last, even if it is in vain. And all because they are charged by communication; if the source were deep inside, they would appreciate it more. They are capable of making the same mistakes many times, due to the fact that, having stumbled, they do not deepen into the awareness of the incorrectness of their actions, so the experience is not appropriated. Over time, the situation may be completely erased from memory, being crowded out by new information, which will lead to a repetition of the error. Therefore, others seem frivolous, careless and irresponsible. There are different types of extroverts; you may come across irresponsible jokesters, or you may also come across hard-working careerists. And his outward focus does not mean at all that he is always good-natured and cheerful; sometimes there are gloomy individuals who pester others with claims. They are also called vampires, we discussed them in a recent article.
From a social point of view
Focus on others is manifested in the fact that they try to organize everything in their life in such a way that it is convenient for other people, in order to “lure” them to themselves. I will give vivid examples by which you can easily determine the temperament type of your employees and loved ones
The desktop of demonstrative people is always decorated with photographs, figurines and other decorative elements that attract attention. There will also be a bowl or plate with sweets or cookies, and the door will always be slightly open so that anyone can drop in for tea.
Introverts, on the other hand, are very conservative in this regard and do not care at all about decorating their workplace, sometimes going so far as to lock the office while they are working. They have very few close friends, but at the same time a huge number of acquaintances. In a long-term relationship, the partner must be prepared for the fact that he will periodically bother his “other half”. This is especially common when the girl is an extrovert. She can love her chosen one very much, but at the same time do not forget to flirt and flirt with other men. And this will not be a betrayal for her, but a vital need. Without the attention of the opposite sex, she will lose her sense of attractiveness and sexuality, which may well cause depression. Clothing is chosen so that it will certainly interest others. Even a guy will be dressed according to the latest fashion trends, despite the fact that it is uncomfortable and impractical. He loves attention and needs the approval of others. Sometimes this brings painful experiences of loneliness, which is experienced in those moments when there is no one nearby. And if for some reason they find themselves isolated from society even for a short period of time, they lose interest in life and its meaning. So any disease that threatens their activity is a risk of additionally acquiring depression.
More sincerity
Be sincere with other people. Tell them directly that you are a little shy and indecisive, which is why it is difficult for you to carry on a conversation with a stranger. This will relieve tension; sincerity can be adequately appreciated by another person. Ask other people to talk about themselves more when talking, this will increase loyalty to you. Visit places where you can meet interesting people. Locations similar to your interests are perfect. When meeting a new person, there will be even more topics to talk about.
Before going out with friends, you can ask them to bring strangers with them. This will increase the chance of meeting new people and overcoming self-doubt.
Live in the moment
CONTENT:
According to psychologists, isolation is not so much a property of nature as a cocktail of shame and fear of rejection. There are much fewer naturally timid people than those who have had negative experiences in a group: at school, institute or section. As a rule, in the past, shy and reserved people have had a conflict with a group of peers, which at best resulted in ridicule, and in the worst case – boycott and fights.
Celebrities are no exception: for example, successful beautiful actress Jessica Alba was teased at school because of her accent, clumsiness and heavy jaw. Rihanna, who draws crowds of fans of her work, was attacked by her peers for the color of her skin, and the winner of 9 Grammy awards, Justin Timberlake, even fought with classmates, not wanting to share their passion for football. The list goes on for a long time. It is important to note that many “stars” believe that it was the stress they experienced in childhood that strengthened their character and helped them move towards their cherished goal.
Of course, everyone is different, and not everyone is ready to open friendly arms after being an outcast. However, don't focus on the bad memories: plenty of people have gone through the same thing.
Be more restrained
Extroverts, in turn, have a lot to learn from introverts. For example, how to drown out your emotions in time. Learn to understand where they should be shown and where not. Overly emotional people are not always pleasant in company; in some cases it is better to just remain silent. You need to be able to control your social circle and be able to say “no” where necessary. Many psychologists say that it is impossible to change an extrovert, but it’s worth a try.
You need to try to focus on your energy and direct it inside yourself. Think about something important, plan your future and be more serious. In large companies, don’t be an upstart and don’t try to attract attention only to yourself. Most often it looks vulgar and intrusive. It's better to talk about yourself when asked. You should attract attention with interesting stories and tact. Among the many acquaintances, there are not very good people who may not have the same interests.
Extroverts often boast about their many acquaintances, but there are hardly any real friends among them. Both extroverts and introverts have their pros and cons. It is important to monitor your emotions, not give in to them and at the same time live life to the fullest, enjoy every day you live.
Useful advice from a psychologist
What to do if you are an introvert, but want to be an extrovert? Psychologists have several methods to help make the possible transition. But you should know that it is not possible to completely change a person’s disposition. It will take many years of work to achieve a positive trend. It is believed that there are no pure species in nature, so it is just as possible to make a partial transition from an extrovert to an introvert, as well as vice versa. It is difficult to change radically on your own, but a professional psychologist will always help you find the most effective ways that will allow you to change quickly and less painfully.
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