People meet, people fall in love, get married... and sometimes break up. And that’s all, it would seem, period. But some, having committed a deliberate or impulsive act, after some time begin to get bored and even try to renew the relationship.
If you are reading these lines, then everything is obvious from your side. Let's now try to figure out how mutual this desire is. By what signs can you understand that your past passion is no less eager than you to start all over again?
She's still alone
When a woman yearns and loves, then we can say with absolute confidence that she is not looking for another acquaintance. Of course, immediately after a breakup, no adequate person is ready to enter into a new relationship if there was love in the previous one.
Of course, if you broke up a week ago, then the absence of a new partner in her life is obvious. Do not clap your hands ahead of time and take this as a sign that she is waiting for your return. Well, if a month has passed, two or more, then the result is obvious: something or someone does not let her go.
A woman who not only suffers, but wants to return to her former relationship will try in every possible way to show you her position as a “single.” Even if she has boyfriends, it will remain a secret to you.
What to do?
So how do you find out what awaits you in communicating with your ex-girlfriend and whether your love has a chance for a reunion? Catch a universal strategy that will be useful under any circumstances:
- Talk to her as much as she talks to you. Don't write significantly more or less. Initiate your conversations 50/50.
- If she flirts, flirt back, but don't go overboard. In general, mirror her behavior.
- Then there are two ways - winning extra time and time-out. In the first case, you communicate with her in the same way as she communicates with you, without inviting her to get together and without bringing her into conversation. Over time, if her behavior is caused by real feelings, she will definitely let you know about it. The second option is to set a date (say, a month) and, after the deadline has passed, raise the issue head-on, talking to her frankly about her motives.
Should you get back to your ex-girlfriend? The issue is controversial and causes heated discussions no less than the topics of religion or money. Some say that you shouldn’t lose your true love, even if you happen to break up. Others say that you cannot step into the same river twice. We know one thing: each case is individual, and only you can know whether your ex still loves you or is just using you. So open your eyes and analyze everything carefully. Let our article help you with this!
Nostalgic conversations3
If your conversations are filled with sadness and melancholy, then she wants to convey her experiences. She feels bad and lonely. These thoughts haunt her. She's trying to get you emotional or make you remember the best times you've had together. Everything is used: events, favorite places, unusual occasions.
Think about it, it’s not in vain that she shares her pleasant memories with you. Her goal is to make you remember how good it was with her. And in this way she emphasizes that everything can happen again.
Reasons why an ex-girlfriend might come back years later
Before burning bridges, guys prefer to find out whether their ex-girlfriend will return after a long relationship or not. Often hopes for a revival of relationships are dashed, and a considerable period passes before a person gets back on track.
After a certain time, life gets better, but then the woman decides to remind herself. To understand a woman’s logic, you need to determine the reason why she decided to return.
Fallback option
If a girl who has been in a relationship for a long time is sure that her partner is reliable, she can return to bring any plans to life. Often such women do not like partners, but simply need a reliable person in order to build a family. If you want to start a family, restoring the relationship will not be difficult.
Can't accept the fact that you're happy
The likelihood that an ex-girlfriend will return after a long relationship is high if the beloved was possessive. Such women appear as soon as the ex-boyfriend’s life gets better. If your ex decides to return, then the first thing to do is think about the reason. There is a high probability that it is just jealousy that will break the current relationship.
She just needs something
The most common reason is the desire to gain benefits: connections, acquaintances, skills. Often, girls prefer to lull their ex-boyfriend's vigilance and then get the things they want. This relationship will not be happy.
Wants to assert himself
If the breakup ends on a negative note, there is a chance that the partner is coming back for revenge. In this case, women try in every possible way to show who the man has lost. The girl will return to the life of a loving person, tempt him, and then break off communication.
She's asking you for a favor4
She needs to get a meeting: her tap is broken, her car is making strange sounds, it’s raining outside and she’s sad. All this is not easy. Yes, sometimes her car can really act up, but can’t she figure it out without your help? What about guy friends? Or a trip to a car service? These guys will handle the problem much better and faster. But no, she is calling you to the rescue. It's simple - the problem is clearly something else. Or in someone.
Of course, don’t take it personally when she asks you to take your once-shared pet to a doctor’s appointment, for example. If you got an animal together, then she has every right to turn to you to resolve this issue. Well, a decent man should not refuse. This is a matter of honor and the ability to take responsibility. But this is a different story.
Sometimes guys surprise us with their blindness! The ex called - this is a real chance to fix everything. If, of course, there is interest in this. But instead of turning on all their charm and making an appointment, men hesitate and everything ends in nothing.
Despite everything, she, a weak girl, decided and took this step towards you. What else do you need? Not all women can say directly that they miss you and want to try to build a relationship again. But you want this too, don’t you? Then your passive role is unclear. Maybe it's time to act?
Top 7 Signs She Wants to Be With You Again
Let’s not delve into the nuances and prefaces; it’s better to immediately outline the seven main signs that your ex may very well become real. Of course, each situation is individual, and the mere presence of these signs in the behavior of your ex-girlfriend does not mean that she wants to return to you. But nevertheless, in most cases she does all these actions for a reason. And if you have collected several from the list at once, this is a good reason to think about it.
She's there all the time
As if by chance, you and she now and then find yourself in the same classroom, in the same cafe, at the same party. And it seems like you have nothing to show her: obviously, you had common interests and companies, which means you could potentially often end up in the same places. But your ex also knows this very well, but she makes no effort to miss you for at least an hour. Perhaps she doesn’t consider it necessary to adjust her life schedule because of your breakup, or maybe that’s not the reason...
Important! Perhaps the first and most obvious sign that your ex wants to meet is the fact that she is still present in your life. Even if a girl wrote to you a month after the breakup, it still means that she is getting in touch.
Flirting
We can't help but touch on the obvious signs that your ex-girlfriend is still attracted to you. Of course, we are talking about flirting. Consider this a direct signal from the girl “Let's try again.” But keep in mind that it's not always about relationships. Sometimes, with the help of flirting, girls want to achieve love for one night or a pleasant pastime and nothing more - the same works with exes. But nevertheless, flirting from someone you broke up with always hints at interest on her part - even if she doesn't directly say that she still loves you.
Jealousy
If she asks about dating or new relationships, jokes about other girls' increased interest in you, or generally starts a conversation about topics that concern you in the context of other women, jealousy is most likely at play. And we are jealous only of those to whom we are not indifferent. Of course, feelings don't go away in one day. And if you and your ex dated for a long time and parted as friends, it is quite obvious that it is difficult for you to forget each other once and for all and not experience any emotions. But nevertheless, if the issue with the guy is closed and the girl does not admit the possibility of returning to him, there will be no jealousy.
Clarification of relationships or old grievances
Where there is emotion, there is passion. If a girl, after breaking up, continues to remind you of your problems, reproach you or be offended, her feelings have probably not cooled down yet. Second option: you seriously offended her. But if you understand that your quarrels were ordinary and frivolous, and the separation should have completely saved you from these problems, but she is still unhappy... Perhaps in this way the ex is trying to continue communication with you and bring you to reciprocal emotions. This works especially well if she is a passionate and loud person who liked to cause scandals during the relationship.
By the way, if after breaking up your ex began to call or write with insults, words of hatred or provocation, then it is quite possible that over time she will agree to a meeting. This sounds counterintuitive, but in practice it often works.
Long messages
One of the easiest ways to check if your ex has feelings for you is to compare the frequency and size of the messages you send her and the ones she sends you. Usually, after such a mini-analysis, it immediately becomes clear in which direction this boat is tilted. Look through your correspondence after a breakup and evaluate which of you writes more. By the way, if this person turns out to be you, stop with this matter. Unless you are going to renew the relationship, of course.
Interest in your business
After a breakup, people usually want to end this chapter of life as quickly as possible and minimize communication with their ex-partner. Of course, this does not apply to situations in which one of the partners still has feelings for the other. In this case, he will continue to initiate communication. If a girl, after breaking up, behaves as if nothing had happened and asks about your plans for the day, past events and other details of the life in which she is no longer there, she probably cares about this.
Asking for help or showing concern
Of course, you were one of the closest people to your ex-girlfriend, and after your breakup, little changed (at least for the first time). Therefore, it may seem normal to you if she turns to you with a request or, conversely, helps herself. But keep in mind - the girl understands perfectly well in what situations she can give a guy hope. So any communication with you after a breakup can be either a harmless gesture, a habit, a good attitude, or a sign.
Important! Keep in mind that all these signs indicate that the girl is assessing the likelihood that you will be together. This does not mean that she is ready to resume the relationship and certainly does not guarantee the safety of her feelings for a long time later. If you notice one or more of these nuances, your ex is probably at this moment considering the possibility of returning the relationship. But this still does not oblige you or her to anything.
She knows everything about you5
The situation when you do not communicate and do not see each other for a certain time does not affect her awareness in any way. A girl who loves will move mountains, but she will know what you do and how you are doing: devoted and sympathetic friends are an excellent source of information, as well as your own pages on social networks.
So, some time after the breakup, you meet and a conversation begins. And lo and behold! During the conversation, the understanding comes that this is no longer news for her. She knows perfectly well where you were last week and what you did. This is an incredibly pleasant fact. She is interested in your life. Her feelings haven't gone away and she still wants to be a part of your life.
How to forget your girlfriend after a breakup? — Practical advice
To forget your ex-girlfriend, we will use two methods with you, alternating them with each other.
1) Sublimation method 2) Substitution method
Sublimation method
Sublimation is a way to relieve psychological stress by redistributing energy in a productive direction.
Those. you need to direct all the excess negative energy into some useful activity. Load yourself up to the maximum with your studies or work. It is advisable that you absorb new information, because our brain is incapable of learning something new and complex, and at the same time thinking about unsuccessful relationships. You can only think about one thing at a time. This method once helped me a lot, so I recommend it.
You can also sublimate energy into sports. Join the gym and leave all your anger and disappointment in the gym. Perhaps breaking up with your ex will be the starting point that will bring you more success than you expected.
Substitution method
At first it will be difficult for you to switch to another girl. The hormones in your brain believe that your ex is the best lady on earth, there will be no other like her. This is just a chemical reaction in the head that will soon pass. That’s why I wrote about the sublimation method first, so that your hormonal levels will calm down a little. And then we can move on to another step - replacement (or switching). Just switch to other girls, start dating them and you will be happy.
Once you seduce the cool girl you like, you won't remember your ex. There are practically no monogamous people among people. Therefore, we are able to fall in love more than once in our lives, but much more. Switching your attention to other girls helps a lot, but not right away. Because, again, I repeat, immediately after breaking up, other ladies will be uninteresting to you, but keep in mind the thought that this is a chemical (hormonal) reaction in the brain, and it will soon pass.
Conclusion: 1) It is always easier to start a new relationship than to restore an old one; 2) To get your ex-girlfriend back (who doesn’t want to date you), drastic internal changes must occur in you; 3) Don’t force yourself on your ex, always maintain your dignity and leave gracefully; 4) Sublimate negative energy into a productive channel and develop; 5) Chat with new girls and gain practical experience in seduction;
“Drunk” calls and messages6
The effect of alcohol works wonders. From somewhere comes courage, which is sometimes so lacking in ordinary sober life. Jokes aside, a woman calling under the influence of alcohol says a lot. At times, it doesn’t resemble a declaration of love, but rather another debriefing with a personal touch. The girl may begin to throw accusations at you and point out all the mistakes that led to this outcome for your relationship. In addition, she will definitely express everything about your behavior today. If she recently saw you with some girl, then be prepared to hear how terrible she is. In a particularly difficult case, incriminating evidence has already been collected on your potential companion, which will fall on you with inexorable force. And a drunken friend can gloat and wish him good luck with such a passion.
As you can see, it doesn’t matter at all whether it’s a sad conversation or a frank confession, gentle words or reproaches. Either way, she cares. She has resentment, regret, and this means that she still has feelings for you.
Trying to reconnect while drunk is a desperate step. The girl simply cannot reach you any other way. And alcohol is just a catalyst for her frankness.
Interestingly, a drunk male call is strikingly different from a female call. A man who calls his ex while drunk does not always want to get the relationship back. Most likely, he was overcome by sweet nostalgia, which is located just below the belt. It’s no secret that under the influence of alcohol, feelings become aggravated, and for guys this aggravation is expressed in a rather unique way: they simply want sex.
It is not surprising that a man ignores a drunk woman’s call, since he broadcasts her behavior through his own prism of perception. Do not do it this way. We are all different. And male and female logics differ strikingly. So, calling after a few glasses of wine or something else means that your ex has taken a desperate step. It's up to you to seize the moment or miss it.
What is your probability of getting your ex-girlfriend back?
A man who wants to restore communication, but does nothing to return his beloved, is doomed to failure. The maximum that can happen is to temporarily restore the connection, which will end in a break again. Before discussing whether ex-women come back after a long relationship or not, you should analyze the communication.
The main thing is to understand how the guy treated his beloved and whether there is a chance to get her back. After parting, girls remember affection, gifts and care, forgetting the negative moments. Guys who show enough attention to their beloved will be able to restore communication faster. However, you should not remind your ex-girlfriend about your concern, because this will reduce all chances to zero.
The second point is the time the couple spent together. The longer the lovers have been in a relationship, the more tools are known for returning the beloved. According to statistics, long-term relationships are restored on their own if the man puts in enough effort.
The third factor is the time of separation. The less time has passed, the greater the chance that the girl has not fallen out of love. A woman who has ended a relationship expects action from a man.
Breakup behavior is the real test of a person. Most guys do a lot of things when they leave a relationship that make it harder to get back.
Why does she remind herself if she doesn’t want to get back together?
Girls are quite insidious creatures. Our behavior cannot always be interpreted “head-on”. Many actions can be caused by completely different reasons, so it is important to realize that her activity in your direction is not always a request to “come back”.
Why does she write or call if she actually closed the issue with your relationship a long time ago? There may be several reasons, and we have outlined the most common ones below.
Desire to improve self-esteem
Perhaps the most obvious reason is the desire to increase self-esteem. When a woman is courted by many men, she instantly feels more beautiful, successful, attractive and begins to love herself even more powerfully.
In this case, even her question whether you have a girlfriend, unfortunately, does not say anything. Thus, she just wants to feel important and enjoy the fact that she still ranks first in your life.
When to return feelings
How to forget a loved one - advice from a psychologist after a breakup
The question of whether it is possible to return the feelings of an ex-girlfriend is closed. In most cases, the situation is not as hopeless as it seems. The main thing is to be patient and act wisely.
Important! Often a man tries to re-win the affections of his ex-girlfriend not at all because of emotional attachment to her, but because of wounded pride or a pronounced sense of possessiveness.
If the desire to renew the connection is based on psychological complexes, then it would be much more reasonable to work on eliminating them, rather than wasting energy on meaningless manipulation of the feelings of another person. Indeed, in case of failure, the self-esteem of the “alpha male” will suffer even more.
You should also not try to revive the relationship if you are simply too lazy to start building a relationship from scratch with a new person. The idea that everything will be the same with your ex, which means it will be easier, is also self-deception. To overcome a crisis in a relationship, you will need a lot of work on yourself. If the partner does not see that the situation is really changing, she may decide to break up.
Therefore, before you try to get your ex back, you should understand your motives, think about whether you have enough willpower and patience. Only sincere love for a girl can serve as a source of energy that will support you on the path to your goal.
We focus on career/earnings and success
Work is an effective way to redirect your energy, take your mind off personal problems and achieve the desired financial well-being. Constant employment helps you forget about a painful breakup, avoid meetings or phone calls, and find your place in life. A new project, moving to another position, opening your own business, international internship are integral parts of male self-realization.
Not having to spend money on restaurants/gifts/vacations together is a great way to save some money to invest in study and self-development.
The time has come to take English courses, learn to play the guitar and fulfill other long-standing “wants” for which there was no time or money before. Step by step, a man turns into an “advanced” version of himself, becomes self-sufficient, can forget without regret the woman who betrayed him, and calmly build new relationships, or easily get back into a relationship with his ex (although this is questionable, because “broken vase" will never be the same as before).
Statistical data
According to statistics, 56% of wives who left their husbands do not think that they did wrong.
The remaining 44% sometimes regret their decision and try to regain their husband’s favor.
Judging by statistical data, a man always has a chance that his wife will come to her senses and try to win back his affection.
If you can’t make a decision on your own, you should consult a psychologist.
The pain of parting is your choice
Experiences after a breakup are comparable to a thorn. You can try to drive the splinter deeper. This is an option where the balance of significance collapses completely: a man runs to his ex with an apology for non-existent sins, proposes marriage and begs to return. Then the girl herself will begin to push away, send her away, and in the end the man will come to terms with the refusal. He is in pain, but he leaves and experiences the loss as best he can - the wound festers and the splinter eventually comes out.
The worst option is to look at the splinter, twist it, pull it every day, and guess whether the inflammation has decreased or increased. This is what a man who cannot let go of the situation of separation does: he goes through shared photos, comes up with reasons for the breakup, watches snotty films about love. The wound from the splinter becomes larger and more problematic. Such a person dooms himself to suffering and an insignificant fate. Pain prevents him from thinking, and unanswered questions prevent him from acting. There is no chance of taking a strong position with anyone, even another woman, with such behavior. Anyone who does not know how to overcome pain will definitely lose the fight for dominance.
The only healthy way is to get rid of the splinter. You need to make a choice: continue to run after a woman and submit to her, or learn to live completely without her. If you choose the second path, you can forget your ex and start living for yourself. The pain remains, as it does after a splinter is removed, but it will not bother you for long, and the wound will stop festering. How a man can learn to overcome his pain
Only a man who can dominate his own weakness can win the struggle for dominance in a relationship. The first step to this is to stop swimming in your snot. Have you already done it? Have you decided that she will no longer see your tears, will not hear your requests to return, will not make you humiliate yourself? Listen to your feelings and you will understand that you have already won. A man who stops chasing a girl after a breakup deserves respect for this very act.
You realized that you are no longer a servant or a slave to your emotions, but this is not enough. Your self-esteem is destroyed, it needs to be repaired. Banal but effective advice will help here: hobbies, change of environment, new job or business expansion. The purpose of such movements is to fill the void left by the separation inside you. While you are busy, it is easier for you not to remember about the fugitive: there is simply not enough time for suffering. An active life is the best way to stop loving your ex-girlfriend.
I’ll tell you separately about training. Many guys use the gym as a cure for post-separation melancholy, but not everyone knows that they should exercise in the evening. In the evening, worries about a breakup occur much more often, so it’s better to study at night - you’ll sleep soundly.
When do women return?
The girl’s return to her ex-partner is directly dependent on the reason for the separation and the presence of feelings for the man. As a rule, difficulties in couples do not arise overnight; they accumulate over months and years. If difficulties are hushed up and not discussed with your partner, then someday this will result in a large-scale quarrel.
There are several global reasons for a break:
- A sudden conflict, under the influence of momentary negative emotions, increases the chances of separation. When for one of the lovers, integrity and pride are above all else. It’s not uncommon for numerous small quarrels to lead to separation, from which you get tired and just want to take a break.
- Treason. Many couples break up for this very reason. Men are polygamous by nature; it is difficult for them to restrain their instincts. As a result, the woman who suffers is emotionally weaker and more attached.
- Violence. The female sex is obviously weaker than the male sex and cannot answer. Such a relationship is doomed from the start. If a girl returns to such a person again and again, then it is worth thinking about a painful addiction, akin to a drug addiction.
During the emergence of affection and love, the girl does not notice any shortcomings, but everyone has their own character, habits, manner of communication and behavior in everyday life. People in love find ways to get around the “sharp corners” and adapt to each other. When feelings pass, minor shortcomings begin to irritate and infuriate, quarrelsomeness and discontent appear in girls.
The psychology of relationships is built on the trust of partners and complete mutual understanding. If a woman returns, then she has thought about everything a million times, remembered both positive moments and negative situations. As a result, positive emotions prevailed, and there is a feeling that everything can be returned to normal.
Does your ex want to get back with you? 8 Signs – Ex Factor
Rating: 4.7/5 (319)
Today we'll talk about how to understand if your ex wants to get back with you.
And, before jumping directly into our topic, I want to note: if the relationship was serious, and you were together for more than a month or two, then I can guarantee that she still misses you and still loves you. The question is, are these feelings enough to come back to you? And today we will try to understand this.
But I want to warn you: don’t overdo it!
You don't have to spend the rest of your life wondering if your ex-girlfriend will come back to you. Don't look for signs where there are none. It won't work, and it certainly won't help bring the relationship back. So, don't overanalyze the situation. A free test that will help you find out if she wants to renew the relationship and how interested she is in it.
Well, now let’s get down to the signs of whether your ex wants you back. Believe me, this is quite easy to understand.
Sign #1: She is the initiator of communication.
So, the first signal that will help you understand whether she wants to get you back is attempts to communicate, especially if she is constantly trying to remind you of herself.
Regular messages and calls are a reason to think that she wants to return to her previous relationship. If not even consciously, then subconsciously for sure. Of course, one call or message a month is not a reason to think so. But I can say with confidence that if your ex calls or writes very often and at the same time, you do not show any initiative, then this is a clear sign.
What is also important is how often she does it and in what way. If she calls you or often hangs around your house, then, of course, this is a more clear signal than just a message on Viber or on a social network. And, if your ex constantly reminds you of herself, listen to what you are saying.
What does it look like? To show they care about you and try to stay in your life? Or does all the talk boil down to unpaid bills or the boots she left with you? So pay attention to what you're saying and if it's caring, that's a pretty obvious sign.
A useful skill in a situation where your ex was the first to text you would be the ability to respond to her SMS correctly. I told you how to do it correctly in this article.
The second sign is that your ex wants to meet and spend time together. If she wants to be close to you all the time, then this is also a very good signal.
Sign #3: Just friends
The third indicator is requests to remain friends. I should note that I highly recommend against really playing along with this ala “friendship” and under no circumstances becoming her friend. But still, if she asks you about it, then that’s very good.
What to do next
If your ex-girlfriend/wife wants to come back and you don't mind, then everything seems fine. However, mistakes can be made here too. In any case, everything will not immediately become the same as before and there will be many nuances in building new relationships. And even at the moment when a couple wants to get together, men often make mistakes that never allow the couple to recover. A woman can literally become disappointed in her decision to resume a relationship in one day if her ex does not correct his mistakes during the separation and, on the contrary, degrades.
So, if you want to get your ex back - no matter whether it’s on your or her initiative - you won’t be able to sit idly by. On our forum you can read hundreds of stories, their development and resolution, and draw your own conclusions. In order for the reunification process to be successful quickly and to avoid making fatal mistakes, contact me personally. Personal assistance greatly increases the chance of restoring relationships and harmony in your couple.
Best regards, Roman Vinilov.
We ignore any way to get in touch, we don’t get in touch ourselves either.
One of the most important, but difficult steps. You shouldn’t write or call first, try to find out the reasons for the breakup, or prove something to your ex-girlfriend. It won't bring any benefit. You need to overcome yourself and not respond to SMS at first if your loved one wants to talk or insists on meeting.
100% ignoring will ideally show a woman who she has lost and make her think about her actions.
If you give up and try to make contact, your ex will decide that she still has the man on a “short leash” and will continue to live a free life. Due to ignorance of these features of female psychology, guys run after a girl for months, begging her to return, and in response they receive another refusal.
To make it easier to get over the breakup, the guy can imagine that he is doing all this to get his beloved back, although after a couple of months of ignoring it, it may turn out that feelings have cooled down and it’s time to leave the old relationship in the past.
"Reboot" on the other
New acquaintances and flirting are the best way to gain self-confidence, make sure you are attractive to women and increase your self-esteem a little.
To “cheer up”, it is enough to go on a date several times: it is quite possible that a man will meet “the one” and become convinced of the pointlessness of restoring past relationships. If not, it’s important to tell your new acquaintance honestly that you’re not ready for serious intentions.
You shouldn't make someone else suffer because of your continued love for your ex.
If a man wants to get his girlfriend back, “reboot” is also a great option. If on a date he accidentally catches the eye of his ex’s friends and acquaintances, they will convey interesting information to her. This will show the woman what a mistake she made when she decided to break up.
No snot with mutual friends/acquaintances and on social networks
A typical mistake a man makes after a breakup is to sit with friends with a bottle of alcohol, complain about life, and tell him how bad he feels because his loved one left. If these are your mutual friends, you can’t do this. Information told confidentially over a drink will reach the ears of the ex, and she will once again be convinced of her power over the guy, and that she did everything right.
If you really want to share, choose reliable friends who do not communicate with your significant other and definitely will not run to tell her about what they heard.
Against the backdrop of a breakup, not only girls are drawn to rash and stupid actions. Men can also write tearful posts on social networks, post stories with sad music on Instagram, etc. After a breakup, the girl will monitor all the guy’s pages, given that he doesn’t get in touch, so “snotty” posts are useless. But posting a photo of a vacation with friends or another positive photo is the right strategy.
