Ex-husband wants to return: what to do and how to behave ⇒ Blog of Yaroslav Samoilov

During the process of divorce, a man and a woman, as a rule, ask questions: why is this happening, where did they take the wrong step, where did the trust go, why did the partner betray. After a breakup, a difficult stage in life begins, which is associated with adaptation to new conditions and the organization of one’s personal life. But it happens that you are faced with a choice whether you need to enter the same river twice. Is it good? How to behave and not repeat past mistakes if your ex-husband wants to return?
From this article you will learn:

What are the signs that your ex-husband wants to come back?
What to do if your ex-husband wants to come back
What to do if your ex-wife wants to return to her husband
Why do you dream of an ex-husband who wants to come back?

Signs that your ex-husband wants to come back

It is a misconception to think that if you still love each other, then after a divorce you can be together again. It is possible that the second attempt will end in failure if you did not draw any conclusions from past experience or analyze what led you to break up. Simply starting from where you left off is not the answer.

Psychological analysis of such couples shows that spouses have a second chance when they:

changed after divorce;
did not waste those qualities that the partner previously liked;
build relationships anew, taking into account past mistakes.

Why does my ex-husband want to come back after a divorce? There are several reasons:

Practicality
. The return of a man to the family does not mean that he has strong feelings for his wife. He is simply not able to live on his own, since the woman cooked, washed, cleaned, and looked after him. Until a man has met a new passion who will take care of him, he will make attempts to reunite with his wife if he is sure that she is waiting for him and will accept an apology. Such spouses can come together and separate constantly. It also happens that the ex-husband does not make himself known for a long time, and then appears, full of tenderness. But soon disappears again. There is only one conclusion: he was bored, he wanted intimacy, but none of his ex-girlfriends agreed to spend time with him, and you did. When a man swears his love and is ready to move his things back tomorrow, do not rush to accept him. Talk, find out the reason for the sudden change in behavior. Perhaps he has nowhere to live and has decided that you are an excellent backup option.
Fear of responsibility
. Changes that affect the usual course of life can seriously frighten a man. For example, the birth of a child. This means that he now has great responsibility for the life and future of his offspring, but he is not ready to accept such obligations. He may think that he no longer occupies a central place in the family. It is possible that the man will begin to be jealous of your baby and run away for fear of losing his main position. But since he is accustomed to a certain order of life with you, the ex-husband wants to return to the family because he has come to his senses. Such men do not know what they really need and what they want, they do not have clear goals and plans. They are characterized by incomprehensible panic, helplessness in making decisions, irresponsibility, unpreparedness for life's challenges, and immaturity. You cannot rely on them or predetermine their behavior in certain circumstances. Thus, there is a high chance of finding yourself in a difficult situation again.
Thirst for thrills
. There are families where a scandal, an outburst of emotions, is a way to tickle one’s nerves. If in the midst of a quarrel a man leaves, loudly slamming the door, then we can say with confidence that in seven days he will appear on the doorstep again. He never even thought about leaving you, his emotions just take over and he needs time to cool down.
Outside influence
. Sometimes relatives and friends may put pressure on a man that you are not suitable for him. And then, under such influence, your husband may leave you. But over time he will come to his senses and return. In such a situation, a woman should think about whether her man can make decisions on his own. How easily can you influence him? Does the ex-husband really want to return and will he leave again under the influence of someone else’s opinion?
Sole possession of a woman
. In most cases, women react hysterically when a man leaves: tears, scandal, requests to return. But it happens that the wife does not make a scene, treats what is happening adequately and calmly accepts her husband’s decision. The man is not ready for such an unexpected turn; it hurts his pride. After the breakup, the ex-husband thinks about his woman more and more often and mistakes his thoughts for love. In such a situation, the owner-man will want to return to the family. In family relationships, wives are often very emotionally attached to their husbands, sometimes to the detriment of their own personality, they stop meeting with friends and abandon their interests. A man is a hunter by nature, he needs to conquer a woman. And if the need for this has disappeared and he understands that his wife is already entirely his, then the “hunter” begins the search for another passion, more unapproachable and mysterious. If the wife, after separation, begins to lead a dynamic life again, because of his selfish ambitions, the ex-husband wants to return to the family after the divorce. What should both partners do in this situation? First of all, it is important to draw the right conclusions, otherwise another divorce is just around the corner.
Coincidence
. Quite often, the separation of a couple can be preceded by the man’s problems: financial difficulties, dismissal, the need to move to another city, illness of people close to him. And a man does not want to put his difficulties on a woman’s shoulders, but he also cannot jump above his head. But as soon as all the problems are resolved, the couple can reunite again. There are other possible reasons for the husband’s leaving the family, which depend on the individual traits of his character.
Rethinking
. The most pleasant situation for a woman is when a man comes to his senses, but, unfortunately, this happens very rarely. After the divorce, the ex-husband was left to himself, to his thoughts. He had time to weigh everything, to realize that the relationship was truly dear to him. And only after losing him did he realize that his wife was the only woman with whom he was destined to go through life. And now the ex-husband wants to return to the family after a divorce. Having lived with a person for a sufficiently long period, you can easily understand the motives of his behavior, since you already know the husband’s character, his temperament. However, women may attribute qualities to men that they do not have. Then the question arises: how to understand that your ex-husband wants to return, and not be mistaken? First of all, it is worth remembering that actions are always truer than words. Say beautiful phrases, promise stars from the sky - men do all this masterfully. And when a former lover, even after breaking up, offers you his help in everyday and financial matters, this indicates that he is ready to continue to take part in your life.
If a man openly engages in a constructive conversation, then this shows his desire and interest in starting over again. A silent, withdrawn partner who does not talk about how he feels, does not share his intentions, simply has not yet decided what he needs. He is simply comfortable having his ex-wife at his side, for example, for sex or for other purposes beneficial to him: maybe she works in a bank where he wants to get a loan.
Don’t forget that men don’t really like to talk about their feelings, goals, and it’s generally difficult for them to admit they’re wrong. However, if your ex-husband does not reveal his plans to you at all, then this is a reason for concern - what is called “neither to himself nor to others.” He doesn’t plan to be with you, and he doesn’t want to give it to anyone else.

Other reasons why a partner wants to renew the relationship:

A pet knows exactly the truth: signs about animals

Dogs are loyal. They miss people they have been in contact with for a long time. If the dog often lies at the entrance and listens warily, it means he anticipates the arrival of the “prodigal” guy. On a walk, a dog can tag along with a similar gentleman. Also a sign of reunion.

The character of cats is not so simple. But they also know the longing for man. Cats talk to their owner with the following habits:

You occupied the guy’s place on the bed - don’t expect a return. And suddenly he “moved”, for example, onto the sofa - a process began that led to unification with his former partner.
Constantly lies down on a chair, a chair that the departed owner fell in love with. Buries himself in his clothes, accidentally left with you.

If you haven’t communicated with a man for a long time, then pet your cat. Watch. If he suddenly breaks free and runs away, he’s jealous. She knows that your loved one will appear again. It lies calmly, does not move - there is no chance.

What to do if your ex-husband wants to come back

Relationship experts believe that reuniting spouses is a difficult and painful process. The whole point is that the reason for the divorce was some act of the man. When an ex-partner wants to turn back time, the woman finds herself at a crossroads of choice: whether or not to start all over again if her ex-husband wants to return to the family after a divorce; how to say “no” if you need to continue to improve your life without him. After all, grievances and negativity are not easy to forget. A few simple steps will help you understand and hear yourself.

When a man leaves and then returns, the woman, of course, looks for the reasons for this behavior and what will follow. A partner may be driven by different motives, but you should still not have any illusions.

It is necessary to fully find out why ex-husbands want to return. No matter how strong the feelings, before starting all over again, a woman needs to find out the true goals of her beloved.

Let's say your couple is reunited. For a while everything is fine. But suddenly a situation occurs that led you to divorce in the first place. For example, last time you broke up because of your husband’s infidelity. And now he is cheating on you again. That is, the passions have subsided, and the husband again begins to have affairs on the side. In such circumstances, another separation will definitely follow. Only this time it will be a hundred times more painful and difficult for you.

Surely you have no desire to worry and suffer again, reproaching yourself for following your ex-husband’s lead and believing him. If this is the case, then on shore you need to find out the reasons why your partner wants to return.

Don't be fooled, approach the problem wisely. Psychologists advise using the following practice: a man and a woman write down on a piece of paper everything that they liked and didn’t like about each other. Then they analyze what was written and make a decision: are they ready to change in order to be together again. This is the initial stage that will help you figure out whether you should take the man back or not.

The second stage is emotionally difficult. You have already found out all the points that did not suit you and understood what needs to be changed. Now you need to clearly understand: why do you need this and whether the relationship has a future. Pros could include answers to the following questions:

whether there are children;
money problems;
position in society;
positive resolution of disagreements;
the opportunity to live happily once and for all, eliminating all negative aspects, anxieties and mutual reproaches.

Understand your internal state before and after divorce. Answer honestly the questions: how did the children feel during the period of your separation, what did you experience, are you able to take care of yourself.

Thus, if the husband wants reunification:

do not be led by emotions, weigh everything rationally;
find out its true reasons;
Be clear about what you expect from this relationship and who can meet your expectations.

Do arguments 1 and 2 correspond to your vision of the relationship?

After weighing everything, have you decided to accept your husband? Then build relationships from scratch, without looking back at the mistakes of the past and, naturally, preventing their repetition. Otherwise, a man may think that he can always run away from you and just as easily return.

It is necessary to accept the fact that the new life will be completely different. Past difficult experiences will remain with you forever, so you can avoid rough edges if you agree on the following issues:

how will you resolve disputes that arise;
are you ready to reconsider your views and draw the right conclusions;
Will you remember past negative experiences?

Building relationships in such a situation is a mutual task.
If efforts to maintain peace in the family are made only by one partner, then nothing good will come of it. If you take your husband back, but remind him of past mistakes, reproach him, and expect him to constantly ask for forgiveness, then sooner or later a scandal will arise again. It is important to have a clear understanding of whether you want to further connect your destiny with this person. Be sincere with yourself, don’t hide behind children or finances. Children are uncomfortable growing up in an environment of systematic conflict. Do not be influenced by others if your friends and family say that you should take your husband back, but you feel uncomfortable about it. You have the right to be happy, and only you are responsible for your life. Are you tormented by doubts whether your ex-husband sincerely wants to return? An online forum advises asking him to help you out in any situation. If the ex-husband easily agrees to this, then everything is not so sad. But, on the other hand, maybe his sense of good manners prevents him from refusing you and he simply realizes that it is difficult for a woman to solve everyday issues alone. In any case, if a man constantly shows initiative, then this is a good indicator.

When your ex-husband wholeheartedly repents of his mistakes, finds the strength to admit that he was wrong, and tries to soothe your pain, then this is a sign of the sincerity of his feelings and honesty of intentions.

Thus, if he changes his views for your sake, achieves your favor, it can be argued that love is still alive.

Do ex-husbands want to return or are they just taking advantage of the situation until a new lover appears on the horizon? How else can this be understood? A heart-to-heart conversation will help you. Try to sincerely and most fully convey to the man what is going on in your soul, what state you are in from the whole situation. If you are loved and dear to him, then the chosen one will do everything possible to prove the honesty of his plans. The most important thing is that words do not diverge from deeds.

How to deal with ex-husbands:

Why do men return after divorce?

According to most abandoned wives, husbands' nostalgia for lost comforts takes over. Long-term family life took root in the subconscious of the former head of the family.

For example, a clean floor, the outline of a previously made bed, a heated, delicious breakfast, or washed clothes fragrant with the usual aroma constantly remind themselves of themselves with signals to the “lost” brain, tempted by treason. An imaginary independent life can be maintained on scrambled eggs and packaged dumplings for the time being.

It will obviously require indestructible female ingenuity, strengthened by many hours of grocery shopping, and allowing you to save money and then prepare hearty, savory dishes. And if a rival does the cooking, will the romantic who strives for innovation immediately take up a hammer and repair the plumbing?

He will simply want a psychological break, which may push the “traitor” to return to the abandoned “harbour.” The expressed opinions of wives talking about such vulnerabilities complement the fears of mistresses. They consider their emotional connection with their conquered loved one to be much poorer than the previous family “storage of feelings.”

The winners modestly believe that the usual morning perception of the ex-wife in the kitchen cannot always be replaced by a new, not fully studied, companion. The mistresses of an experienced family man also notice his less relaxed behavior.

And they see that it will take years to expand the boundaries of a partner’s comfortable state, and such little things eventually develop into misunderstandings. Experts see the divorced spouse’s fear of possible changes as the main reason for returning.

For example, the desire to go for regular morning jogging often ends with a noticeable decline in motivation. Psychologists emphasize that men want changes in personal relationships, but prefer to give up so as not to go too far from the usual boundaries of comfort. Even the “fugitives” themselves often call the time of leaving a test of feelings.

What to do if a wife wants to return to her ex-husband

If your husband left you without thinking about your emotional state, and then wanted to return, then the risk of a repeat of the situation is quite high. But at the same time, going through the breakup of a relationship the second time will be much more painful for you. Therefore, before you accept your ex, think about whether you need such a shake-up again.

If there was violence from the husband in the family, constant humiliation, then under no circumstances should you take the despot back. If the divorce occurred due to betrayal, will you find the strength to forgive the traitor? It happens that wives forgive adultery and continue to live with their husbands, but at every opportunity they remind them of the mistake. Which, of course, gives rise to scandals and quarrels and plagues both.

Why are women driven by the desire “I want to return to my ex-husband”?

There are children, and they should grow up in a complete family.
A woman is dependent on a man and cannot live independently without him.
Love is so strong that grievances are simply forgotten.
The woman feels sorry for her former lover.
Influence of relatives.

If you decide to renew your relationship, then it is better to wait time, for example a year. During this period, the intensity of passions will subside, and you will be able to analyze the circumstances with a clear head. Take your time, time will put everything in its place and show whether you really need your ex-partner.

If there is love in a couple, but disagreements have arisen, then it is imperative to jointly find a way out of the current situation. Advice from psychologists:

Build friendships.
Never become isolated, talk. In any controversial issue, silence is the enemy. Engage in constructive dialogue. Support each other.
Strengthen family values. Spend time with your children.
Eliminate negative aspects from life that lead to conflicts. Do not let difficulties go by themselves, always look together for ways to resolve the scandal.
Show your tender feelings to your partner and talk about them, just like during your first meetings. Make your joint dreams and goals come true.
Develop the best qualities in yourself, work on yourself.
You can ask your loved ones for support and advice.
Address your weaknesses that led to your divorce.
Do not pressure pity with tears and threats. Don't blame each other for past mistakes. Don't make fun of your partner in front of your family and friends.

All people make mistakes. There is a way out of any situation. You should always be given the opportunity to fix everything. If your feelings are strong, then peace and harmony will certainly reign in your family.

How to speed up the reunification of spouses?

To quickly restore relationships, a special attitude is important, namely:

try to forget everything;
let it hurt, but forgive;
understand yourself and get rid of uncontrollable complexes of anger, indignation and other unpleasant emotions;
prepare for change. For reunification, a different personality is needed;
follow the rule: the more deeply and gracefully a woman changes, the faster her husband will be drawn to her;
maximize self-esteem, supported by regular physical exercise in the gym or at home;
become really attractive. Every woman knows how to do this; she just has to want it.

The algorithm for accelerating the psychological impact on the ex-spouse may be as follows:

call and schedule a business meeting, preferably in a week, in a cafe or restaurant, warning that everyone pays for themselves;
call back in a few days. Reschedule the meeting for the next day in the evening and only for half an hour no more;
be at least five minutes late and come in a new tight outfit with charming makeup and a good hairstyle;
greet. Report some far-fetched decision and the need to never meet again. Smile. Kiss me on the cheek and leave. The decision depends on your own imagination, where the environment serves as a resource.

The order of the actions themselves is small, but quite effective. The proposed algorithm in 95% of cases guarantees the awakening of the ex-spouse’s powerful interest in his abandoned wife and the generation of his early desire to return home.

Source: prozakon.guru

Did your husband initiate the breakup and leave rashly?
You quarreled and he decided to live separately?
You have changed, he felt your changes gone away?
Now he wants to return to his family?

Today I will tell you several signs that a husband wants to return to the family and why he changes his decisions.

One of the reasons why the husband leaves is that perhaps he made a decision in the heat of the moment, on emotions... then he cooled down, weighed everything, thought logically and realized that he had made a mistake.

I wrote about another reason in one of the articles “Why a man moves away and pays less attention. What to do?"

But here, for the majority of representatives of the stronger half, male pride kicks in: “Since I left, it’s not convenient for me to ask for forgiveness, admit that I was wrong, that I stumbled, and then hear reproaches from my wife every time.”

But on the other hand, there are still feelings that begin to pull back to the family, especially if there are children. A certain internal “struggle between logic and feelings” begins. There is a desire to return to the family .

And the man begins to come up with various excuses to see each other, setting up random meetings. He starts calling more often, allegedly interested in children, a cat, household things...

We women feel intuitively when a partner’s behavior changes, when a man is warmer, when he walks in circles. And your task, if you see these signs and want to make peace with your husband, do not push him away.

The situation is delicate... On the one hand, if you ask him to return, he may get into the habit of running back and forth. And he can run away like a bun in any quarrel. On the other hand, if you are a cold and impregnable fortress, you can lose him.

Each situation is unique, and you need to select advice and recommendations individually! If something hurts, you don’t take all the pills at once, right?

Sign up for a consultation with me, fill out the form in detail, before the consultation I will get acquainted with your story, we will call you and find a solution and choose the right tactics for you on how to restore your relationship!

Or, if you don’t want to wait for your husband to come to his senses, but want to make peace as quickly as possible and become a happy couple, then I recommend that you listen to the free course: “How to get your loved one back in 3 steps.”

10,000 women completed the course and everyone was satisfied.

Source: viktoria-vlasova.ru

If you dreamed that your ex-husband wants to come back

Why do you dream that your ex-husband wants to come back? The first thing that comes to mind is that he cannot live without you. Maybe, but don't be too quick to jump to conclusions.

There are different interpretations of such dreams, depending on the circumstances in which you dreamed of your former partner:

The dream “your ex-husband wants to come back” means that you are thinking too much about the past. It slows you down, prevents you from taking a step forward, and closes your heart to new relationships. A vision where you said goodbye to your lover indicates that the time for good changes is coming. As a rule, after such dreams, joyful events occur not only in personal life, but also in other areas.

If you just saw your ex-husband in a dream and no events unfolded, then you should not immediately associate this with the hero of your night dreams. The dream can be interpreted as news from a past life. Perhaps you will be invited to a party with classmates, you will be called from your previous job, or old friends will make themselves known. Rarely does such a dream come true and a former partner appears.

If you dream of your husband’s wedding, where the bride is not you, then this is an indicator that in reality a new relationship awaits you, not him.

A dream where a husband takes a pregnant woman as his wife means that the ex-partner will take some rash step.

When in a dream you listen to a husband complain about his wife or see their divorce, then this is a signal that the person regrets losing you.

If in a dream your ex-husband wants to return and shows tender feelings towards you, this is a symbol that an interesting meeting awaits you soon, which can develop into something more than flirting.

If you dream that you are kissing your ex-husband, but some kind of obstacle arises (for example, you wake up), then in real life something is holding you back from showing emotions. Some internal beliefs, superstitions, or third-party opinions prevent you from opening up to new relationships.

A dream in which intimacy with your husband does not bring you pleasure makes you wary. This means that you are overly irritable, which affects your relationships with people, and minor problems may arise.

When you hit your ex-partner in a dream, it means that you are still living in the past. The causes of the conflict and resentment still torment you.

If in dreams you hug each other, then this is a sign that both he and you are lonely in real life.

It is generally accepted that if a dream occurs from Thursday to Friday, then it is prophetic. Therefore, you need to be more careful about its interpretation. But the dream in which you see your ex can have its purpose on any day of the week.

From Monday to Tuesday - dreams that warn and indicate that events can happen in reality. If the dream is filled with good moments, then there are no obstacles to the future life. And vice versa, bad events do not promise anything pleasant in reality. Based on dreams on this day of the week, one can draw conclusions about the character of the previous partner and the current one.

On Wednesday night you have prophetic dreams, especially if there were disturbing moments in them. But don’t panic, this is just a reason to analyze your attitude to the situation.

Seeing a dream on Thursday involving your former chosen one means that you cannot and do not want to let him go. If your goal is to return your loved one, then such a dream will show you the best way to do this.

It has been noted that on Saturday dreams have a fateful influence. But don’t expect the dream to come true exactly. Look for symbols in your dreams, solve them, and they will tell you how to further build relationships.

Dreams on Sunday reflect a person's emotions and anxieties. If the events in the dream with your ex-partner are gloomy, alarming and unclear, then most likely your resentment is still strong and you do not see a way to resolve the conflict.

Dreams from Sunday to Monday do not have any meaningful interpretation. They do not reflect the past or predict the future. This is simply a reflection of the existing situation.

When you dream too often that your ex-husband wants to come back, you may not need a dream book. It's better to listen to the point of view of relationship experts. Psychologists say that when a woman dreams of her ex-lover, it means that she constantly thinks about him, analyzes their relationship, and the correctness of the decision made. Dreams are only a reflection of our inner emotional state, and should not be considered predictions.

When you wake up, do not rush to solve the dream, look for a prophecy in it. Think about whether it’s worth taking your husband back or whether it’s better to close this door.

There are other reasons when you dream of a man whose relationship has ended.

Maybe unfinished business. We are not talking about any documents, financial issues, perhaps this is bitterness and understatement between partners. In this case, a conversation with your ex-husband is enough to dot all the i’s.

It is possible that you were very attached to your ex-spouse. And when you smelled a familiar smell somewhere or found yourself in a place you both loved, your subconscious recorded these sensations and gave them to you in the form of dreams in which your ex-husband wants to return. In this case, the dream book may give an incorrect interpretation.

No matter why your relationship ended, you will never be able to completely erase a man from your memory. Unwittingly, you will still remember him, see him in your dreams, or even meet him in real life. But before you make any decision, think a hundred times, weigh and analyze everything.

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy soul mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.
More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.
My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

Angelic tips

From above, women are protected especially carefully. Angels or spirits of the family try to cheer up and tell about the future. But they cannot use words for obvious reasons. Perfume is used in other correct ways:

The ex completely disappears from sight. I haven't heard anything from him. Acquaintances and friends avoid this topic. As if he had sunk into oblivion. A blank wall between you signals the end of separation.
On the street and in the office, strangers are striking, reminiscent of a lover in their manners, clothes, habits or smell. This is the Universe encouraging, preparing for imminent events.
At home, the items that break down are the ones that your loved one gave, bought, or repaired. Household appliances that were under his constant control break down. An accurate prophecy that everything will be as before.
Suddenly, the personal belongings of the deceased are discovered in the room. It seems like everything was thrown away a long time ago. But no. It was as if they had sneaked into the house ahead of the owner.
On the clock you regularly notice the same numbers with a five (5, 15). The same with car numbers, coupons, checks. This means the fulfillment of a wish.
Surprisingly, petty theft also predicts a happy future. For example, if someone cheats in a store, a wallet with a small amount is stolen.
While going about your own business, you involuntarily hear (from the TV, computer, gadget, from others) or read the phrase about the return of the “prodigal son.”
Haunted by advertisements about romantic reunions. A hint of a similar set of circumstances.

Unfortunately, if your ex looms before your eyes, meets you in the city, appears on social networks, writes, then the chance of love is unlikely. He remained only a comrade. It will continue to be so.

Sign No. 1 – he talks about it in plain text

The most obvious sign. The ex-husband constantly calls and writes about how bored and suffering he is. Sends old photos together where you were happy together. Sends other people's poems, passing them off as his own. Posts heartfelt statuses on social networks.

He is persistent and obsessive. This is the characteristic behavior of manipulators and abusers who abused their wives. When they finally gained freedom, the aggressors are not going to admit defeat and are trying with all their might to bring them back.