Socialization is a mandatory process in modern society. No matter what you do in life, you will have to interact with your environment in any case. And it’s good if the contacts are purely positive. However, making friends is sometimes very difficult.
When you realize that there are problems in this issue, it means that you will have to study it in more detail. To quickly get close to people, find common ground and fully communicate, you need to become familiar with all the intricacies of social contact. Besides this, there are several proven ways to make friends with any person.
In this article:
Why is it difficult to find a common languageTop 10 ways to make friends with a person
Friend is known in trouble
In addition, in this world any misfortune can befall a person. He can lose his home, car, job, bank accounts overnight. The loss of a loved one or his betrayal cannot be ruled out. Any negative periods are much easier to overcome when real friends are nearby.
Interestingly, it is in difficult moments that the value of friendship is determined. After all, only close people are nearby, maybe even with whom you have not communicated for a long time, but who are ready to help at the first call. The rest remain on the sidelines or simply disappear from life.
Help in action
You can never do too much for a loyal friend. Moreover, you don’t have to wait for some kind of trouble to prove your affection. Fortunately, this may never happen, but in small difficulties it is also important not to remain indifferent. It happens that you need basic help around the house, for example, washing windows or weeding the garden. A friend is unlikely to ask for this, so you need to take the initiative. Going shopping, waiting in line at the clinic, taking your child to kindergarten - such small services can be invaluable. These are like small bricks from which a strong wall of friendship is built.
Of course, if trouble happens in a friend’s life (death of relatives, divorce, fire), then the support of a loved one is often the only anchor of salvation. It is not enough to simply say: “If you need anything, please contact me.” This is the time for action. It is unlikely that a friend will ask for anything - in difficult times, people tend to withdraw into themselves. Therefore, sometimes you have to take on the organization of a funeral, housework, and repairs. Something as simple as cooking can be an overwhelming task for an emotionally depressed person. Therefore, there is no need to ask, but to do it. Financial assistance will also not be superfluous.
Interesting facts about friendship
How long does it take to become a friend?
According to research conducted at the University of Kansas (United States) and published by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, a random interlocutor can become a good acquaintance after 50 hours of communication.
Closer relationships require a longer period. So it takes 90 hours to become friends, but the formation of a strong friendship requires over 200. Having become best friends, people understand each other without words, can communicate with signs, gestures, laugh at the same jokes, etc.
When is it easier to find friends?
It is believed that in childhood it is much easier to find friends. This happens not only due to the psychological characteristics of children. They are constantly at school, kindergarten, on the street and in other places where they are in close contact with their peers. Most kids are quite sociable.
As people grow older, they begin to build a career, earn money, solve everyday problems, forget old friends and do not strive for new acquaintances.
Number of friends
Professor Hall determined that the human brain perceives approximately 150 friendships that have varying degrees of relationship. People are most prone to three of them: friendship, acquaintance, friendly relationships.
Listening skills
There is no need to talk a lot. Communication always involves dialogue, not monologue. Therefore, even shy and not particularly talkative people can do this.
But the ability to listen is worth its weight in gold. During the conversation, you need to ask leading or clarifying questions. This will show the person that his opinion and feelings are very important to the interlocutor. He will understand that he can trust his new acquaintance. When the interlocutor sees that they are not interrupting him, but are attentively listening to everything he says, then he will be more inclined to entrust something secret. Such conversations bring people very close. After someone has poured out their soul to another, it is as if they have a common secret.
Where to find new friends
Friends can be found everywhere. Take a break from the hustle and bustle and look around. You will see a world full of people: happy and sad, short and tall, young and old. Imagine, you can make friends with everyone, help each other, just communicate.
Read further: Friendship and business: where to find a reliable business partner
Think about it, we were not born for work, TV or computer. We must communicate, learn new things, just love.
The easiest way to find friends is among:
- classmates and classmates;
- colleagues;
- work colleagues;
- friends from social networks;
- visitors to various parties and events.
You can easily meet a person on the street, in a sports section or a hobby club.
Remember the words spoken by Benjamin Franklin: “Be slow in choosing a friend, and still less in a hurry to change him.”
Write real handwritten letters to your friends
With all the electronic communications going on these days (Facebook, Email, Twitter, text messages), a handwritten note can really make an impression. Firstly, you just don't see them like that these days, so the email will really stand out in your friend's inbox. Secondly, the fact that you took the time to find a card, write something by hand, and then mail it shows how much meaning is contained in it.
You don't have to send cards or letters all the time for it to be an effective way to improve friendships. Look for these opportunities:
- Thank you card . She will show your friend how much you appreciate her gift.
- Condolence card about your friend's problems . It could be anything: a difficult time at work, problems with a child, difficulties in marriage, and the like.
- A note of encouragement . Is your friend trying to lose weight? Find a new job? Find yourself a new love? No matter the occasion, a handwritten note with a sincere compliment or support will show your friend that you are with her in spirit.
- “Just like that” card . Think about how touching it will be for your friend to receive a card that simply says, "Hey, I haven't told you in a while, but I really appreciate our friendship."
How to find a friend among classmates and classmates
Educational institutions are places where children and adolescents spend most of their time. It is here that friendships are often born that can last a lifetime.
In order to make friends with your classmates, fellow students or classmates, follow these tips:
- Be confident. Don't doubt your abilities. Try to become a leader.
- Think about who you want to be friends with.
- Be sincerely interested in the person you choose, this can be the start of a dialogue.
- Contact him with any request or suggestion. Help him yourself.
- Try to find common interests.
- Start chatting on social networks.
- Take part in various projects, visit places where you can establish communication.
- Develop a friendly demeanor and smile more often.
When communication improves, you can take a walk together or invite a new friend to visit.
Look around, maybe someone wants to make friends with you too?
Sincere interest
You don't have to be the most outgoing person in the world to know how to make friends with the right people. It is enough to show genuine interest in others. Often people study or work together for years, but know almost nothing about each other. Simple everyday questions “How are you?” or “How was your weekend?” can become a bridge to further communication. You can try to start a conversation and determine by the person’s reaction whether he wants to involve others in his life or not. Of course, the conversation may not turn out smoothly the first time. It’s not nice to impose, but you shouldn’t despair either. A modest treat, a non-binding gift, an SMS - this is not considered something grandiose, but it will let the person know that he is not indifferent, they are thinking about him.
Friendship at work
Of course, you need to be on good terms with all your colleagues. Even with the most disgusting people you need to find a common language. After all, a person spends quite a lot of time at work, often requiring the help of colleagues.
Goodwill
Show kindness when you pass by and try to smile at everyone. If you are given a favor, always say thank you.
Remember the names
Remember your colleagues by name, because a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound for him.
Birthdays
Don’t forget about your employees’ birthdays; try to congratulate everyone. It will be very nice.
Quarrels, conflicts and gossip
Never take part in quarrels and conflicts, do not gossip. Rash words can ruin relationships, and people will no longer trust you.
Be punctual
Constant lateness or, conversely, early appearances at the workplace will begin to irritate the boss and other employees.
Carry out your work duties carefully and try not to make mistakes.
Read further: 22 tips on how to make friends and become a magnet for others
Dress code
Stick to a general style even if there is no dress code. For example, if a team wears formal clothes to work, worn jeans and sneakers will look ridiculous.
More communication
If you want to become a close friend of one of your colleagues, communicate more with him, find common topics and interests, and help in his work. You can invite a person to a cafe for a lunch break or walk together after work to the bus stop. In the future, joint trips to picnics and invitations to visit are possible. This will be the beginning of a friendly relationship.
