You've already seen a bunch of articles on this topic. How to behave with a girl, what to talk to her about, etc.
The trick is that many of these articles are written by men. And not all of them really understand women and their secret desires.
Today we decided to collect revelations from real girls. What is their idea of the Ideal Date? What is expected from a man? How can you surprise them?
Take a break from all your affairs and worries and immerse yourself in reading.
Repetition is the mother of learning
Before you start learning new material, let's check how you have mastered the basic program.
Answer “Yes” and “No”:
- I believe that on a date I should be the only one doing the talking.
- It seems to me that it is better to pay the bill yourself. And if she offers to split the bill, politely decline.
- You can come to a date in any clothes.
- It's better to take a friend on a date for moral support.
- If I complain to her about life and whine, she will take pity on me and immediately want to console me.
- You need to come up with something special and arrange a date that she will really like.
- You should definitely take her to a luxurious restaurant, even if finances don’t allow it. You can always leave her alone and escape through the back door.
- If I constantly say vulgar things, she will understand that I am an alpha male and will give herself to me right at the table at McDonald's.
Correct answers: no; Yes; No; No; No; Yes; No; No.
Did you answer most of the questions correctly? Excellent, the basic level of knowledge of female psychology has been successfully mastered. It's time to move on.
Let's move on to revelations and advice from spies on the other side of the barricades.
At home
This type of date is suitable for people who are away from home most of the time. Otherwise, you will turn dating into a routine. How to arrange a date at home:
- Prepare a delicious meal together. Cooking together brings people together, so psychotherapists recommend practicing these types of dates more often.
- Watching movies and TV series. Enlist the help of popcorn and a warm blanket to create a cozy environment that encourages intimacy.
- Massage. If you are close enough, you can organize an evening of massage with an intimate continuation.
When a girl is a housewife and is constantly at home, it is better to give preference to more active types of recreation.
Mini trip2
“It wasn't an 'official' date. Although it could well be considered as such. We had fun all night. We explored an unfamiliar city, ate street food, watched a movie, walked along the pier, sightseeing, visited an amusement park, played games, rode the Ferris wheel, bowled, and sang karaoke. Remember when you were a little girl and you dreamed about all the things you wanted to do on a date? That night we accomplished every item on my list! And it wasn't even planned! Everything was so good. I will always remember him fondly for this,” Reddit user lottahermes.
What did the guy in this story do? He managed to create an atmosphere in which his companion felt warm, calm and comfortable. They had a very extensive program, but they did not collapse. They enjoyed the evening. If you decide to plan such a large-scale operation, make sure that the girl has time for this. Don't turn completing the items on your list into a marathon. Let everything take its course.
Clothes for the perfect date
The style of clothing for a date largely depends on where it will take place. If you want to wander the streets of the city and sit in a cafe, dress in the clothes that you have in your wardrobe for visiting. A young man does not have to wear a tie, but it is advisable to adhere to a strict classic style. To emphasize her femininity and the beauty of her figure, a girl needs to wear a dress and high-heeled shoes. Outerwear depends on the time of year.
If the date is planned outdoors, traditional jeans, T-shirts and sneakers are acceptable. The main thing is that the clothes do not seem too provocative and do not look untidy.
Another nuance that should not be discounted is comfort. Agree that you won’t be able to think about romance at all if your new shoes are too tight. Therefore, dress for a date so that nothing hampers your movements and does not distract you from your partner.
In this section you need to pay attention to the girl’s makeup. Avoid bright lipstick and shiny eye shadow immediately. After all, you don’t want to scare away, but to attract the attention of a man. Therefore, try to use as little makeup as possible. Pastel colors are ideal. The less makeup you use, the more natural you will look in the eyes of your gentleman. It should be noted that most men are not attracted to painted dolls.
Forgot about food3
“This date was with the guy who is now my husband. We talked for a few weeks, went to classes together, hung out together once and held hands. That's all. On the day of our date, he took me to a college hockey game. Then we went to my house for dinner. It all ended with us watching the cartoon “Space Jam” and kissing.
Edited: we still didn’t remember about dinner,” kams88.
As you can see, there were no fancy restaurants or rooftop picnics. But the girl considers this date the best of her life. This option is suitable for you if you already know the girl well and, for example, have been friends for some time. In this case, a “home date” may be the best option for you. Until the wedding, as you can see.
Creation
Every person's creative abilities are not the same.
And that's putting it mildly. Some people are not at all used to doing things with their own hands. But in the case of a girl, any creativity will be an excellent tool for your rapprochement. Do you write poetry? Perfect! Write about it and read it in the evening just before parting. Do you play musical instruments? Better! Any street musician will allow you to use his instrument for a modest fee.
And here there are practically no boundaries. It is only important to show how you differ from everyone else, how you deserve special treatment. Even if you don't own anything, origami will do. The main thing is that your creation comes from the heart.
Pasta, talk and walk4
“We had dinner at an Italian restaurant and then walked around the city for six hours, just talking about everything. We weren't really dating-wise, but it was the best date I've ever been on." - JabberwockyJurist.
Two in one - you will enjoy both food and conversation. An Italian restaurant is an optional element. Invite a girl to a Japanese restaurant if she likes sushi. If she's a vegetarian, find a place that caters to her tastes. She will appreciate this approach. After that, go for a walk. Ideally, it will take place on a warm summer evening and you will have time to admire the sunset.
If it’s thirty degrees minus outside, it’s better to refuse a six-hour walk. And if you do go to the promenade, give the poor thing some hot tea or mulled wine.
Image
Every date is a real holiday.
And the first date is generally a matter of paramount importance! How do you dress for a holiday? It should be beautiful, stylish clothes. A tracksuit or classic suit, jeans and a T-shirt are not suitable. The issue of your appearance should be taken much more seriously.
Do you remember that people meet you by their clothes? So, your chosen one will make an initial analysis of your appearance in the first three seconds of your meeting.
Needless to say, you must do everything so that the girl gives you an “excellent” rating for your appearance. This also includes your unshaven appearance, the smell of sweat, your hairstyle, the presence of glasses, and so on. You have to think about your appearance.
Picnic with hot dogs5
"College. The guy picked me up, we bought hot dogs, took a blanket and went to the park. We settled down on a hill. We ate hot dogs and watched a baseball game. It was a wonderful evening and we had so much fun together,” pudgewazovski.
As you can see, no fancy restaurants again. Hot dogs, a blanket and a park. Money is great. They provide much more opportunities for romantic maneuvers. But if a connection is not established between you, you will not see romance. Even with fabulous money.
Invite a girl to the park. Take care of food and blanket yourself. The atmosphere should be cozy - the city center is not here at the height of a noisy holiday.
Dancing
Can you dance?
No, we are not talking about a half-baked, stuffy and dirty basement or a club where they play especially intellectual music of the “smart guy” so much so that the walls shake. In your case, everything is much more complicated. Dancing is not that difficult. It’s enough to just spin around, holding each other. But on the first date there should be a reasonable distance between you. At first glance, the idea seems to be a failure. And if you start dancing at the bus stop to the music coming from your phone, well... At most you will cause laughter, and the girl will think that you just want to cheer her up. Not the same effect, right? So find a place in the city where there is always pleasant music and couples circling. The search will not always be successful, but it will be a big plus for you.
Heart to heart conversations6
“It was my first date with a guy. And it lasted more than five hours. We walked and chatted. We drank tea and chatted. We sat and chatted. They ate and chatted. It was wonderful. Unbeknownst to me, I discovered that I was falling in love with him - right on the very first day. Two months later he said “I love you” and I said the same to him,” PillowofTidiness.
A great option if you both like to talk. Cinema is a good option for a first date. This, whatever one may say, is a kind of canon. But in a cinema you won’t be able to have a heart-to-heart talk and get to know each other better.
The more you communicate, the better you get to know each other, the more attached you become to the person. What to do if the conversation doesn’t go well and there are awkward pauses? Defuse the situation. Make a joke about how you're both worried and don't know what to talk about. You can exchange stories on the topic of the Worst Dates of Your Life. Talk about common interests. Discuss what you love - this will make the conversation go better. Do not abuse alcohol - otherwise the date will definitely be erased from your memory.
Hector Jimenez-Bravo, chef, host of the MasterChef project
ELLE: What do you pay attention to first of all on a date with a girl?
Hector Jimenez-Bravo: I always pay attention to the look, for me the look is a reflection of the soul, it will never deceive, but will reveal and tell me everything that I really wanted to know, but did not hear from the girl.
ELLE: What is your idea of a perfect date ?
E. H-B.: For me, the most important thing is not the place where we met, but her emotions, then this date will be perfect. I also really love spontaneous dates; sudden pleasant moments make life brighter.
ELLE: How should a girl behave to win your heart?
She should be herself, not try to play, always be frank, be who she really is.
E. H-B.: : Topics of conversation that are taboo for you on a date?
Financial issues, work and politics. These topics often make girls sleepy. I choose topics according to the circumstances, I like to joke. I will never tell sad or tragic stories on the first date or complain.
ELLE: What do you think a girl should wear on a date?
E. H-B. : What she feels comfortable in, unless, of course, it’s a provocative dress at a formal reception or pajamas at a gala dinner.
ELLE: How long are you willing to wait for a girl if she is late?
E. H-B. : I’m ready to wait forever for my girlfriend!
ELLE: Who should talk more: her or you?
E. H-B. : I am always silent or say very little. In my work, I talk a lot, every day and from morning to evening, so for me rest is to be silent and listen to the news of my girlfriend.
ELLE: Do you pay attention to a girl's appetite? Would you rather she order a salad or share the steak with you?
E. H-B. : It is very important for me that she does not constantly go on diets, of course, everything should be in moderation, but I love meat and delicious dishes, and my girlfriend shares this passion with me...
ELLE: What can scare you on a date with a girl?
E. H-B. : I don’t accept swear words, I know them all in Russian and Ukrainian, it would be very unpleasant for me. It won't scare you, but it won't give you any pleasure.
ELLE: What topics do you prefer to talk about?
E. H-B. :About travel, about hobbies, about topics that are interesting to both of us, about those things that will turn the evening into an unforgettable one. I like to dream and laugh, remember incidental moments.
ELLE: Do you prefer cuties, laughers, smart or seductive?
E. H-B. :I prefer a personality in which all these qualities combine with each other and create the girl I'm dating.
ELLE: How should I look to be liked?
E. H-B. :Naturally! I don’t like any interventions, especially surgical ones, on natural beauty. Everything should be natural and unique, and not like in an incubator.
ELLE: Do you pay attention to manicure? Perfume? Makeup? Hairstyle? Shoes?
E. H-B. :This is all the image of a woman, for me it is not very important, but I notice every detail and love to enjoy the beautiful “nuances”.
ELLE: What do you think a girl should not do on a date?
E. H-B. : Drink too much alcohol and lose control of yourself.
ELLE: What do you expect from a girl on a date?
E. H-B. : Sincerity, honesty, relaxation.
ELLE: Is it possible to understand on the first date that you are in love?
E. H-B. : Probably the girl knows better. I don't show my feelings on the first date, but since I'm an expressive person, I think it shows.
ELLE: What kind of girl do you want next to you? Who are you ready to open your heart to?
E. H-B. : Ukrainian, economical girl who would like to create a family home with me and keep a home!
What do women want7
And now to the facts, lovingly collected by brainy and curious research scientists.
Here's what women dream (and fear) on a first date:
- 79% of women say that the most important thing for them on a first date is a comfortable environment;
- 94% of women want to hear compliments on their appearance;
- Only one in ten women think it's normal for a man to constantly check his phone on a date;
- 80% of women believe that you should not order more than two drinks on a first date;
- 82% of women want a man to hug them;
- 71% would like to receive a kiss on the cheek;
- Most women find it disgusting when a man is rude to the wait staff;
- 58% are against a man asking them to share their food or drink;
- The vast majority of ladies believe that being more than fifteen minutes late is a so-so start to a date.
Transport
Appointed time and place?
Forget. The time should be: “always ready,” and the place: “at her house.” You should pick her up. But this does not mean at all that you have to get a car somewhere, rent it or ask friends if you don’t have your own. You can limit yourself to a simple taxi. Naturally, it is worth paying attention to the image. The car should look presentable.
A visit to her home will be definitely appreciated by the chosen one. This is much better than an invitation to a cafe, where you will wait for her for almost half an hour in a not very sober state of boredom, and answer angry messages on the phone. It’s better to wait until she gets ready for the date, puts on makeup, styles her hair, even if it takes an hour.
It is important to show up to her parents or neighbors and get to know each other a little. It will be enough to reach a level of communication where they simply recognize you on the street.
Meeting
Don't be late. A gentleman will never keep a lady waiting. Being late shows disrespect and causes unnecessary anxiety in a woman. If you are running late due to unforeseen circumstances, call your girlfriend and let her know your expected arrival time.
Don't show up too early either. The woman will prepare for the meeting until the last minute. Showing up 15 minutes early will only confuse her because she might still be in her robe. Now she will have to hurry, and she will start to get nervous. You understand that this is not the best start to a date.
Compliment her right away. Women usually spend a lot of time and money preparing for a first date. Let her know you appreciate it. Don't delay with your compliment. Do this as soon as you see her. A woman will never refuse to hear something like: “You look stunning!” or “That dress looks amazing on you!”
Open the car door for her. Show a little old-fashioned chivalry and offer your hand as she sits down. Before you close the door, make sure you don't get caught in anything, be it your arm or the hem of your dress.
