How to change your outlook on life: advice, books and films ⇒ Blog of Yaroslav Samoilov

For a person with high stress tolerance, an unpleasant situation is just a good opportunity to learn something new.
However, each of us is far from being an optimist. The good news is that the human brain can be reprogrammed, which makes it easier to cope with failures and difficulties. In our article we will give some tips on how to change your outlook on life. From this article you will learn:

What does outlook on life mean?
Why change your outlook on life
What are the reasons for a negative attitude towards life?
How to change your outlook on life
What books will help with this?
What films are worth watching to reconsider your attitude towards life?

What does outlook on life mean?

How do people differ from each other? First of all, by attitude to life, and there can be no exceptions here. Think for yourself: a young girl, an adult man and a first-grader boy will react to each situation in their own way, classifying it as positive or negative.

One person feels happy, while another, being in exactly the same situation, may suffer and complain endlessly, not knowing how to change everything. Surely you are familiar with the classification: pessimist, realist and optimist.

Pessimists tend to view life through the prism of disappointment. Therefore, any event becomes a reason for doubt, often even sadness and melancholy.

There is an opinion among psychologists that people develop the habit of reacting in a certain way to life events. That is, an emotional state is not a momentary impulse, a coincidence or an inexplicable reaction, it is just a habit. And if we are talking about a habit, the question is always relevant: how to change your outlook on life?

Let's look at a simple example. The pessimist won the lottery and begins to regret, because he will have to pay tax, and the amount is not that big, so it is definitely not enough to make his dream come true.

The reaction of optimists is more positive, they find positive things in any situation, and are less inclined to get upset and give in to despondency.

This model of behavior is more advantageous, because many people strive to learn a positive outlook, but how to change their outlook on life?

The existence of the next category of people, realists, is still in question. Experts continue to debate whether there really are people who can always objectively assess a situation and respond to it based on the real state of affairs. There is an opinion among some psychologists that the presence of realists in society is only an illusion.

Often, the outlook on life depends on the views accepted in the environment around us. If we are talking about a self-sufficient, successful person, then she grasps only some concepts, building her own system of values with their help. Overly impressionable people can change their lives by blindly appropriating the views of a certain group of people.

Our stories decide our fate

Photo: Depositphotos

“...I had a date planned with a guy from a dating site: we agreed to have dinner at a cafe. I waited at the entrance for more than 30 minutes, but he never showed up. I was pulled into the abyss of negative thoughts: he probably saw me from afar, he didn’t like me, and he ran away...

Suddenly, an old friend from college, whom I had not seen for almost ten years, approached me. He smiled and tried to start a conversation, but the cats were scratching at my soul. I pulled myself together with difficulty.

Within a few minutes we entered the same cafe. The evening flew by unnoticed: we talked, joked, laughed. And after dinner we exchanged numbers and on Friday we will have a real date...”

Similar stories happen to many. And this is an example of how negative events only bring us closer to real opportunities.

If a girl succumbed to a bad mood, she would not have met a friend with whom she was truly interested and comfortable.

Why change your outlook on life

Before you think about how to change your outlook on life, you need to understand why it is needed. Emotionally stable people know how to adapt to current circumstances, paying maximum attention to hidden possibilities. Let's say you take a new job for financial reasons and find out that it will require much more effort, time and energy from you than you expected. In addition, you will have to change your habits and work overtime. Leaving your comfort zone is never easy, and as a result, dissatisfaction begins to accumulate. However, after some time, you may well find that the new area is more interesting and attracts you more than the previous one.

If you were lucky and the situation turned out to be the most consistent with your expectations, did you enjoy it? It often happens that a person is too busy for this - he is waiting for the next specific result. When you expect one thing and get a different result, disappointment usually sets in.

Agree, quite often things don’t turn out exactly the way we would like. You have two possible ways: come to terms with what happened or regret that you couldn’t achieve what you wanted. In both options, you refuse to live in the present and enjoy the moment you are living. In other words, it's time to change your outlook on life.

Mental fortitude allows you to maintain hope despite difficulties and do everything to change the situation. This kind of optimism is part of emotional intelligence.

Scientists note that pessimism negatively affects mental and, oddly enough, physical health, so it is important to change your outlook on life in time. Martin Seligman, a scientist from the University of Pennsylvania, suggested that a negative mood has a detrimental effect on health for a number of reasons:

you do not believe that you are able to influence the situation;
More bad things happen in your life because you react negatively to neutral situations and make wasted or incorrect efforts;
Pessimism inhibits the body's natural defenses, the immune system.

Pessimists drive themselves into a state of depression, because negative perceptions prevent them from assessing events from a positive perspective.

An optimist is not only someone who believes that the glass is half full. This is a person who uses stress to approach a situation from a completely new perspective. And if you focus on the opportunity to change everything, it can lead to the most unexpected consequences. No wonder popular wisdom says: every cloud has a silver lining. And science increasingly confirms this.

An important element of stress resistance is the ability to recover from negative emotions.

Due to the interhemispheric asymmetry of a person, the hemispheres participate differently in different processes (creativity, perception, speech), and this is directly related to emotions. Scientists have proven that among people with a more active left area of the frontal lobe, optimistic people are more likely to be found; they take actions and believe that their work will yield results. And people with a more active right frontal lobe show a tendency towards negative emotional behavior. They are anxious, prone to sadness, restlessness, passivity, and more often refuse active actions.

But who said that this is a sentence? You can always change your outlook on life. People with a dominant left frontal lobe are able to overcome negative emotions. This means that resistance to stress depends on the ability to suppress negativity, using fear for which the amygdala is responsible.

Richard Davidson from the University of Wisconsin is one of the first scientists to study interhemispheric asymmetry and its impact on a person’s emotional state. He suggested that those who have a positive emotional attitude and practice a positive attitude towards life, for example, through mindfulness meditation, are more resistant to stress.

Main areas of life

To change established views, you should decide on your positions and beliefs:

belief and spirituality;
social status, society;
self-development;
family, love;
material aspect, success;
society and communication;
Creative skills.

You can optionally add items to this list that you would like to make changes to. To achieve positive results, you need to work on your own views.

Reasons for a negative attitude towards life

When answering the question of how to change your outlook on life, you need to understand that basic knowledge is laid down in a person’s mind under the influence of the people around him since childhood. Usually, our parents or other people raising us have the most active influence on us.

If from an early age a child was surrounded only by negativity, this will directly affect his outlook on life - his attitude will be negative. And, on the contrary, when a child grows up in love and affection, he simply cannot become a pessimist.

In order not to make a fatal mistake when raising children, and then they will not have to change their outlook on life, find out in advance how to do it correctly:

True, it is worth understanding that life views do not always depend on parental attitudes. At school, a child finds himself in an environment of peers, which means they influence him as actively as his parents. Some children are bullied by their classmates, causing anger and a negative outlook on life.

You can change your outlook on life for the worse even as an adult. This is caused by problems at work, in the family, even banal crowding in public transport and other factors, but any problems can be dealt with

Positive changes

A person’s views on life are formed from childhood. Every child knows such words as must, must and must. The framework in which a person is accustomed to living often does not allow him to realize his abilities. As a result, claims to the surrounding world appear, and dissatisfaction with one’s own life develops. Changing your views is not so easy, but those who do it will become much happier and luckier in every sense.

The world is constantly changing, so a person must develop in order to move on, and not stand still. Many principled individuals experience discomfort because they have to constantly adapt to new living conditions.

How to change your outlook on life

Where to start changing your outlook on life? From yourself, from your own attitude to what is happening, as well as from your immediate environment.

Be prepared for the fact that working on yourself is a difficult process. But you need to start it wisely, so first of all, figure out what the reason for this attitude to life is.

Here is an algorithm that allows you to change your outlook on life:

Understand where the current negative attitude towards the world comes from.
Limit communication with those who provoke pessimistic thoughts. First of all, these are people who are permanently depressed.

As sad as it is to admit, a negative attitude towards life often originates from communication with parents. Think for yourself, if a mother and father often quarrel, fight with each other, take it out on the child, even beat him or simply blame the whole world for their troubles, what other attitude could the child have towards life?

An adult will have to make great efforts to change his outlook on life and understand that there are many joys around. Start by simply forcing yourself to believe that everything is not as terrible as your loved ones thought.

There are a lot of people who tend to blame others for everything, and this attitude can manifest itself in different ways. The first sign of a negative attitude towards any life situations is aggression in public places. It appears because a person is sure that those around him owe everything to him. This model of behavior is formed in the early years, when the mother and father give the child too serious and voluminous instructions.

If there is such a character among your friends, we advise you to limit communication with him, otherwise how else can you change your outlook on life?

Everything is clear with the limitation of communication, but what is hidden under the phrase “start with yourself”?

Let's explain with an example. You are traveling on public transport, and suddenly a stranger steps on your foot. Of course, this happened because of the crush, he didn’t want to offend you, so he will ask for forgiveness. Changing your attitude towards life is all about the little things. Now you cannot snap back, but must answer: “nonsense.” Due to this model of behavior, you reduce the share of conflicts and generally have a positive effect on your condition.

Psychologists are sure that reading contributes to a correct perception of the world. As soon as a change in attitude towards life has begun, you should not put the books aside. Literature is important for both our intellectual and spiritual development. It is believed that the main books that change one's outlook on life are classic works.

In many classical works you will find reflections of the main life values, traditional family foundations, where a man is not only the head of the family, but also the breadwinner, responsible for his own and the family’s well-being. Whereas a woman is the keeper of the hearth, a support for her husband and a loving mother for children.

Based on literary images, you can change your outlook on life and gradually move towards a positive perception. The fact is that literary works help to see the world in the right colors, distinguish between good and evil, set life priorities, and change the worldview as a whole. Your task is to remember: a pessimistic attitude towards life cannot lead to good things.

Calm your mind

In order to learn to control your own thoughts, you need to begin to become aware of them. Let's try?! Take a deep breath and try to clear your head of all thoughts. This way you create free space for something new, unusual and non-standard. Moreover, your mind is at rest - you are the one taking a break for its work.

Sometimes we load ourselves up with problems and failures so much that we cannot look at the world from a positive perspective. At such moments you need to stop! This could be a rest in silence, during which you must observe yourself and understand where your own thoughts are and where they are imposed from the outside. This technique should not be neglected. Just start and everything will work out!

7 more tips on how to change your outlook on life

Ditch the “victim t-shirt.”

People who have a positive attitude towards life and get out of difficult situations more easily know for sure that they are in control of all their actions. They see themselves as active participants rather than victims of circumstances. Therefore, there is no point in demonstrating helplessness; they get rid of the “victim T-shirt” in time.
Set ambitious goals.
Thanks to a moderate level of stress, it is possible to rewire the brain and protect against more serious further experiences. Therefore, try to choose goals for yourself that require additional effort, this will make it easier for you to change your outlook on life.
See change as a chance for a better life.
Now for you, any changes, even for the worse (although they may only seem so) are not a crisis situation, but a chance to change for the better.
Don't forget about social medicine.
It's about the support of friends and family, and believe me, it is much more valuable than it might seem at first glance. People with a high level of stress tolerance mitigate the consequences of stress for themselves precisely through social support. But you don’t need to make a person feel sorry for yourself, you need care and encouragement.
Do what you like.
Scientists have found that stress-resistant people draw strength, energy and time for their work from a sincere interest in it.
Don't let yourself get bored.

A moderate level of stress allows you to avoid getting bored with your daily routine. University of Chicago psychology professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described how you can avoid anxiety caused by overstimulation without getting bored. When a person finds a balance between these two states, he finds himself in the so-called “flow” and enjoys it.
Read also: How to get off the wrong foot: 8 tips to wake up in a good mood
Be curious.
Curiosity triggers active brain activity. Having developed this quality in yourself, you will turn any new environment into a source of impressions and knowledge. Due to an emotionally and intellectually rich environment, it is possible to positively change the neuroplasticity of the brain, and otherwise provoke its degradation.

History knows of people who started a new life after serious injuries - they were able to do this thanks to resilience. They remember very well what they went through, but do not give up and do not get bored in anticipation of something good. They work hard, including on themselves. If you have a series of failures, remember such people, they will help you change your outlook on life. After all, an important step on the path to rewiring the brain is to independently create a positive attitude. How to start valuing yourself:

Victory over yourself is just around the corner

Realizing that no one can change your views except yourself will help you cope with this task faster.

Even if you are satisfied with everything in life, from time to time think about what you would like more? By realizing their goals and aspirations, a person becomes more confident and happy.

Get rid of bad, destructive habits. This is easier said than done, so replace bad habits with good ones. Find someone you want to look up to. A mentor will definitely help if he sees your strong desire and desire for change.

Read books that make you think. Take time to think, ask yourself, what do I want? The hardest thing is to start, because we are constantly in a hurry, leaving all our questions unanswered. Don't stop halfway, strive to become better, and in the end you will come to this.

Try to plan your days, this will make it much easier to survive stressful situations that are an integral part of our lives. Find time for pleasant moments, dream. Plans and goals force a person to act and change, so set yourself tasks that you can complete. Life is beautiful, don't forget about it!

Cool films that change your outlook on life

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (USA, 2008)

We are talking about a film that can change your outlook on life. Its main character, a man, was born an 80-year-old man and begins to look younger. Like any of us, he could not stop time. His unusual path began in New Orleans in 1918 at the very end of the First World War. The film tells about the fate of a unique person, about people and events, the love that the hero gains and loses, about the joys of life and the sadness of losses, about what remains with us beyond time.

The Shallows (USA, 2016)

An endless ocean, a deserted beach and perfect weather for surfers. What could threaten a lonely surf lover and change this idyll? Perhaps a meeting with a giant shark, which will drive the girl onto a sandbank and will not retreat until it gets what it wants.

Outcast (USA, 2000)

The hero of this film, Chuck Noland, is an employee of the world famous Federal Express delivery service. He is scrupulous, an incorrigible pedant. His life is scheduled minute by minute, so he does not have enough time for his personal life and the woman he loves.

However, fate decides to change Noland's attitude towards the time allotted to him. The plane he is traveling on crashes into the ocean. The hero is the only one left alive and ends up on a desert island. Here he will spend many years in a difficult struggle for survival.

1+1 (France, 2011)

Philip, a wealthy aristocrat, is confined to a wheelchair and is forced to hire an assistant. But what comes to him is, it would seem, someone completely different from the one he needs. This is a guy who recently returned from prison. Despite Philip's condition, the young man manages to change his outlook on life and bring the spirit of adventure into measured everyday life.

Knocking on Heaven's Door (Germany, 1997)

The characters in the film meet in the hospital, where they learn that they don’t have much time left to live – this terrible event is enough to change their outlook on life. There are only a few hours left until the end, so you need to act quickly: the heroes steal a car with a million in the trunk and escape from the hospital.

They are chased by killers and police, they inevitably turn into robbers, they end up in a brothel. But they continue to rush forward, towards their destiny.

What Dreams May Come (New Zealand, 1998)

After being killed in a car accident, Chris Nielsen becomes immortal and tries to stay close to his mortal wife Annie. A spirit is assigned to him as a guide, who helps Chris get used to his new existence in a heavenly environment. But his wife, distraught with grief, decides to commit suicide, for which she is cursed and banished to hell. Chris is trying to find his beloved, but no one has ever managed to save a sinful soul from well-deserved retribution. With the help of his heavenly friends, Chris embarks on the most dangerous and painful journey of his life after death.

Amelie (France, 2001)

This light picture is also considered one of the films that changed your outlook on life. For example, did you know that all events, even the most insignificant ones, are surprisingly and miraculously connected? Just as the flight of a fly can cause a powerful hurricane many kilometers away, so the strange, incomprehensible actions of a modest girl named Amelie, living in the world of her fantasies, can forever change the lives and views of completely different people. Even give them happiness and paint the world with bright colors.

Up (USA, 2009)

Among the films that changed your outlook on life, one cartoon made it to the list. He distinguished himself by opening the Cannes Film Festival for the first time in history, which means he is definitely worthy of attention. This is a heartfelt animated masterpiece about the friendship between a hard-hearted old man and a little scout, and also a story about how to change your life without cutting off all the loose ends and withdrawing into yourself, but by opening yourself up to the world. This picture instills in the soul the confidence that it is never too late for anything.

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy soul mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.
More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.
My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

Create a life that delights you

Take your time to think about what you really like. Growing up, most people focus on insignificant things. We work in a job we don’t like, spend time in an uninteresting company, and so on. This happens only because it is necessary!

If you have always wanted to draw, then do what you love. But! This does not mean that you need to quit your job. You can enroll in illustration or painting courses. Try to find like-minded people in your circle, and not those who regularly criticize your hobbies. One of the highest achievements of an individual is inner satisfaction, not external status or prize.

Mechanical perception

The last thing you need to do to reset your reality is to get rid of mechanicalness. Many actions and phenomena are so familiar that we accept them automatically, without using cognitive mechanisms. The following techniques will help you get rid of this.

Rearrangement

The simplest thing is to change the interior of your home. If paintings hang in the same places for years and furniture never changes location, gradually they cease to exist for you.

The point of this method is not to make global renovations and change your home beyond recognition. It is enough to make very small adjustments (move a vase from a table to a shelf, buy a floor lamp, etc.) to awaken memory and attention. This will help you see something new in something that has been familiar for a long time.

Unfamiliar route

A similar technique is changing the usual route (even contrary to logistics). It is not necessary to return home from work along a new road every time. But from time to time you need to choose other paths to expand the boundaries of your reality. In addition, you can sometimes turn your established daily routine upside down.