It is generally accepted in society that there are no closer people than brothers or sisters. However, in practice it turns out that the most malicious enemies are quarreled relatives. And this is not surprising, because they are the ones who know each other’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities like no one else. Therefore, such conflicts often develop into a long-lasting “war of interests,” forcing both parties to the quarrel to experience daily stress, since on the one hand they sincerely love their sibling, and on the other, they hate it fiercely.
Psychologists note that your problems in your relationship with your sister may be an echo of childhood rivalry or a misunderstanding of her inner world and current experiences. In any case, establishing contact with a loved one is a top priority for any mature person. It is this point that we will discuss in this article.
What will help you survive the “aggressive” period?
Remember:
- Children's aggression has a downside. This is a flow of energy that can be directed in a peaceful direction. Try to find an interesting activity for your child, or even better, something you can do together with your parents. Come up with a hobby for him, “infect” him with collecting, enroll him in a sports section - all these exciting things will help overcome aggressiveness.
- Not quickly, not immediately, but gradually the child will learn to control himself and understand the consequences of his behavior. But this will happen only with the obligatory help of parents and loved ones.
Even if it’s very difficult, try to resist the temptation to put your separated child in a corner. Explain again and again. Patience, patience and more patience. And then the result will definitely come. And your struggle will be crowned with success. And peace and order will reign.
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How to behave if he/she is crying?
It’s very unpleasant when your loved ones get upset. In such situations, you need to be able to behave correctly so as not to make everything worse .
- Keep calm and common sense . Even if your sister/brother is truly hysterical. Calm yourself first, and then begin to save the situation.
- Speak in a quiet and calm voice , do not raise your tone, even if the situation is getting out of control.
- Hug tightly and pat him on the head , let your brother or sister cry, you don’t need to say “Stop, don’t cry,” it’s better to let all negative emotions come out, this will help.
- Calmly explore the situation and try to find out the reason ; if a brother/sister doesn’t want to talk, wait and don’t ask, the time will come when he/she will tell you everything.
- Listen to everything he/she has to say.
Even if you disagree with something, do not interrupt or try to express your point of view. Maybe do this later, when the emotions have subsided, the brother/sister has calmed down and will be able to listen to you, and, perhaps, listen to you. - Try to cheer him or her up with something. Perhaps you have a favorite common activity or something you've dreamed of doing together. Now is the time to make everything a reality .
- Be a support , support and just a friend for your loved one.
- Take care of your sister or brother , if you need help, be ready to provide it.
- Show all your kindness .
- Well, the most important thing is to be sincere , this is the most important thing. You don't have to do all this if you don't want to help. Your loved one will feel this, it will be unpleasant and even more painful for him.
How to calm down your little brother or sister?
How to calm down your little sister? If your little sister is upset about something, go to her and hug her. If she cries, hold her closer and wait until she calms down.
There is no need to shout at her and scold her, much less use the following phrases: “If you don’t calm down now, I will punish you,” “Now you’ll go to the corner or you’ll get a belt,” and so on.
The baby may become very frightened and even withdraw into herself . Take your sister, wrap her in a blanket, if she is still very little, you can pick her up and try to calm her down in this way.
What should you do if your brother or sister is upset?
If a brother or sister is upset, the first thing to do is let them talk .
Their speeches can be stormy and emotional, you should not be afraid of them and you need to be prepared for anything.
Leave all your advice for later, now the person just needs to feel that you are interested in his problems .
But during a monologue, you don’t just need to stand and watch, say a few words, agree, so that your family can see what interests you.
Hug your brother or sister, a person needs to feel warmth and love.
Hugs are the best way to express how much you care. Be sincere, pat him on the head, put your hand on your shoulder.
Next, make sure your sister or brother is comfortable Give napkins, if necessary, bring them and cover them with a blanket.
Brew some tea, invite them to sit down and discuss everything over a cup of aromatic tea. Bring or cook some tasty treat or your brother/sister's favorite dish.
If a loved one asks for advice, then there is no need to rush and give a bunch of unnecessary advice. Perhaps now it will be better to just rest and “digest” everything, and the next day the right decision will not be long in coming. It’s not for nothing that they say that the morning is wiser than the evening.
Find out how you can help. Perhaps at this moment, your sister or brother will need help.
Be prepared to comply with their request. Try to make your brother/sister laugh.
Remember some funny and amusing incidents from your childhood, and laugh at them together.
Offer to go to your favorite place. Perhaps you have “your” places where you feel comfortable and like to spend your free time . Take a break from your problems and look there together.
And most importantly, always be there. If your sister/brother is very upset and has serious problems, then you should not leave them alone. Check on their well-being at all times.
But don't be too intrusive. Support them in every possible way and take care of them.
Straight Talk
What should I do if my husband’s sister or even my own blood is pissing me off? If we are talking about the girl’s own sister, then the problem needs to be solved by openly admitting everything. You need to invite your sister to a conversation and explain your dissatisfaction in detail. It is also worth asking her what, in turn, causes her irritation. Perhaps such a conversation will take place in a raised tone, but with a high probability, by opening the soul to a loved one, it will be much easier for the two sisters to improve their relationship.
If we are talking about the husband’s closest relative, then this situation is a little more complicated. In this case, you can also talk to the object of hostility. However, in such situations, it is usually better to set communication boundaries and come to a compromise.
Not a rare case
Before Vanya could go to kindergarten, problems began in the family. The grandmother, who usually dropped off and picked up the boy, soon categorically refused to do this: she was ashamed in front of the teachers and parents of other children for her grandson’s behavior. Vanya’s mother also went to kindergarten as if she were going to hard labor. Vanya bit, fought, scratched at the slightest provocation. And then he came up with a new prank: he squatted down, waited for the victim and sharply pulled the legs of the gaping person towards himself. He inevitably fell, and often at full height. When the teacher suffered from this evil prank, she could not stay on her feet and collapsed on the carpet, Vanya’s parents went with the boy to a psychologist.
Unfortunately, this is a fairly common case. From the age of one and a half to seven or even eight years, many children are prone to outbursts of rage. Parents, when faced with this behavior of their child for the first time, often panic. Why, the aggressor is growing.
However, psychologists argue that it is wrong to react in this way: after all, we all have aggression to one degree or another. This is nothing more than a visible manifestation of the instinct of self-preservation. It’s just that adults most often already know how to control themselves and control their behavior. And children have yet to learn this important skill necessary for life in society.
Competition
When two girls appear in a family, there is a high probability that one of them will be more sociable, popular and active. As a rule, the second sister grows up calmer and does not understand the frivolity of her loved one. Against this background, quite serious scandals often arise, especially if girls are forced to share the same room. In this case, while one daughter is trying to do her homework and be a diligent girl, her sister may start listening to music loudly, talking on the phone and disturbing her in other ways.
At the same time, relatives, neighbors and friends often speak flatteringly only about the daughter who is more beautiful. The second is forced to wait for the moment when her talents are noticed. To decide what to do if your younger sister is annoying you, parents first need to understand that young girls need personal space. If their interests and behavior are very different, it will be difficult for them to stay in the same room all the time. This very often leads to conflicts and difficult situations.
Having roughly decided on the reasons, it’s easier to figure out what to do if your sister pisses you off. Let's consider the main methods for solving such problems.
Tearfulness in children at different ages
- If a 2-3 year old child becomes whiny, this may indicate the onset of a crisis. So, he protests against the instructions of his parents, for the first time he tries to separate from them, wanting to show independence. Adults should not “put pressure” on the child and re-educate him. At this time, he is mastering his own feelings and his parents should support him. Mirroring emotions - “You’re angry”, “You’re upset”, “You’re scared”, “You’re hurt” - calms the child down much faster than screaming, manipulation and threats.
- Such behavior in a child from 4 to 6 years old may indicate that he is experiencing anxiety or is overly sensitive. There are children whose sensory system is very developed - such characteristics are usually inherited. A child may cry from seeing a movie, hearing a story, or a rude word, because these are the reactions of his body and psyche. Parents will not be able to change it - they can only soothe and support. This reaction from adults is much more useful. Understanding from the outside will strengthen the child’s nervous system and make it clear to him that he is not alone in his experiences.
- Tearfulness in children in elementary school, most often, indicates a crisis stage associated with learning - perhaps the child is afraid of getting a “D”, going to the blackboard, teacher or parents. Then, in order to get rid of tension and fear, he will be upset and cry for every reason.
- When tearfulness is observed in adolescence, we can talk about the presence of infantilism in behavior. It’s worth thinking: why does a teenager behave like a child? What prevents it from growing? Why are such emotional reactions still “beneficial” to him?
Parents' mistakes
The jealousy of one child towards another does not appear out of nowhere. This is primarily the fault of the parents themselves, who do not know how to correctly prioritize and dose their love. What to do if your sister is annoying? First of all, it is the mother and father who must intervene in this situation. Firstly, they must explain to the older child that when he was born, they also gave him warmth and care. Of course, he doesn’t remember this and therefore thinks that the attitude towards his little sister is completely different.
Secondly, parents of children must learn to distribute their love evenly. We must not forget that the older child still needs mom and dad and desperately requires their attention.
To my beloved girlfriend/wife
In your own words
* * * My beloved, everything will be fine, you are strong! I'm always there, remember that! * * * Honey, you can always rely on me! * * * Remember: we invent our own problems, obstacles, complexes and frameworks. Free yourself - breathe life and realize that you can do anything. I love you and that's all that matters. * * * You are the best woman for me in the whole world, remember that. Smile and never be sour.
* * * Darling, there will always be people who will hurt you. You need to continue to trust people, just be a little more careful. * * * The secret of happiness, my dear, is to enjoy every little thing and not be upset by every stupid thing. * * * You are the best man in the world. And for the best, everything will be fine. You just need to be patient a little. Remember - sugar is at the bottom. In the meantime, you have me, and we can handle it.
In verse
* * * If only, darling, I could, In a moment when it’s so hard for you, I could put two wings under your tired wing. If only I could clear the clouds over you, so that you would forget all the worries of the day and peace would return again. It's a pity, but I'm just a woman - not God, I'm with you in my heart, and you hold on. So that you can withstand the storm, I pray quietly for your life. * * * Who is it that hangs his nose so low? Who is sad for no apparent reason? I want you to be cheerful again, don’t come up with stupid things! Let your mood soar, Look at the colors in life again! Happiness awaits ahead, Well, quickly give me a smile! * * *
There is no point at any point.
And a glass for success ahead.
No pride
Many people want to know how to make peace with their sister. But they are hampered by their pride and unwillingness to understand how the offended person feels.
Before going to peace, drop any accusations against your sister. Do you want to ask for forgiveness? Ask, but do not say words like this after an apology: “I’m to blame, but you also behaved inappropriately” or “Forgive me, but you should also apologize.”
Don't expect repentance in return. This is the highest manifestation of selfishness and pride, and with such an attitude it is simply stupid to go and ask for forgiveness from your sister. There is a risk that you will quarrel again, and the conflict will develop into something more.
Example of father and mother
If parents constantly argue and claim that they annoy each other, then it is not surprising that children adopt this pattern of behavior and begin to find faults in those closest to them.
The same thing often happens when a father or mother also speaks negatively about their sister. In this situation, it is not surprising that children decided to follow in the footsteps of their parents. This is why psychologists recommend speaking very carefully about other relatives in the presence of children. Husband and wife should not quarrel in front of them and show them the wrong model of family life. It is because of this that sisters and brothers can have serious problems.
