People in the room don't see how you feel, they only see how you look and act.
Darlene Price's first public performance took place when she was 15 years old. She was talking about Great Expectations (by Charles Dickens) in Mrs. Weaver's 10th grade English class. She was very nervous and felt her hands trembling, her heart beating, her knees shaking, her palms sweating. She stood in front of the class, and as soon as she looked at her classmates (33 people), she froze.
As time passed, giggles were heard. Mrs. Weaver asked 15-year-old Price to begin the performance. As soon as her eyes met those of her audience, all signs of nervousness disappeared, not because she became calm, but because she became weaker.
Three decades later, Price, an author and communications coach, author of Well Said, and president of a leading public communications training company, recalls that she could barely stand when she spoke.”
Price says that this experience at school helped her realize that to perform well, you don't need to get rid of nervous tension and emotions. You need to manage them to communicate effectively with your audience. She also realized that what she realized in the tenth grade was not something special. In fact, research shows that fear of public speaking is at the top of the list of human fears. "Percentages vary across studies, but it's fair to say that most of us are nervous about public speaking," she explains. “As speakers, we often fear that we will fail, get confused, be criticized, judged, compared, or rejected.”
Physically, we are nervous, anxious, and the following symptoms may appear: rapid heartbeat, nausea, trembling voice, stuttering, headache, dizziness, shortness of breath, your mouth becomes dry, you begin to blush, your knees are shaking, or you may even faint.
But besides the threatening list of symptoms, there is some good news. There are no negative consequences from being nervous. “The trick is not to show these manifestations.” Listeners can't see how you feel. They only see how you look and act. Therefore, it is worth learning to look and behave calmly, confidently and calmly. This is exactly what people perceive and believe.
Here are 11 ways to calm yourself before a performance:
Make sure you don't look nervous
Speakers who watch videos of their speeches almost always say, “Wow, I don’t look nervous, even though I felt that way.” “Remember, the public doesn’t see how you feel. They just see how you look and act,” Price says. When, as a speaker, you speak calmly and confidently (or at least pretend that you feel that way), you earn yourself a lot of points: they believe you, the public likes you. “When you are able to control your nerves, take the microphone and create a connection with the audience, you increase your career opportunities many times over,” Price concludes.
Why do we worry before going on stage?
Everything is very simple. Speaking in front of an audience is stressful. A person on stage is under the gaze of many eyes, becomes the object of attention of a large number of people who examine, evaluate, compare, and draw certain conclusions.
It’s time to run, but you must open up, moreover, control the situation! There is a fear of the unknown, negative self-acceptance by everyone present, a fear of “getting lost” in front of a representative and demanding audience.
This psycho-emotional state is considered completely normal, and it is characteristic of every person. Only the degree of it may differ from mild excitement in some to a state of panic in others.
What to do to not worry before a performance
To cope with a stressful situation, you can use various methods. Methods and techniques to help overcome panic can be divided into groups:
- practice of awareness of the nature of excitement;
- physical exercise;
- analytical practice;
- psychological practice;
- methods for relieving stress before a performance;
- techniques to reduce anxiety during a performance.
Practice awareness of the nature of anxiety
Ask yourself a question: what moments make up my fear, what am I afraid of? Maybe it’s an “excellence student complex”, or a fear of large numbers of people, or your introvert psychotype is not inclined to communicate with the audience today.
The pursuit of excellence is, of course, commendable, but within reasonable limits. This means that everyone makes mistakes. And if something goes wrong with you, the planet will not leave its orbit, and the end of the world will not come. For those present, believe me, this will not have such global significance as it does for you. Give yourself the right to make mistakes!
Don't forget to take breaks
Every speaker needs to remember that during a speech it is very important to place intonation pauses, and not to rattle off a memorized text in order to pronounce it faster.
Moreover, intonation pauses not only help the audience process the information received, but also help you take a breath, collect your thoughts and continue the story.
How to overcome anxiety before a meeting
Looking for reasons
A certain part of the emerging feeling of anxiety, some personal characteristics are our innate heritage, inherited from previous generations.
However, both the environment and direct social experience play an equally important role. Excitement is a completely natural emotion
For those who are trying to cope with the problem on their own, psychologists advise remembering the very first “failure” and analyzing that situation more carefully. What was the excitement related to - the topic of the report, the person evaluating the speech, the reaction of the audience, or what was at stake?
It is also equally important to focus on the exact opposite experience, that is, to restore in the smallest detail the most successful public speech, to once again feel all the emotions that you experienced in your finest hour. It’s good if the recordings of this speech, a certificate of participation or winner of the conference have been preserved. Try to understand what led to success in the first place - a friendly and familiar audience, impeccable mastery of the topic, or the absence of a rigid fixation on the result? How excited were you at that moment?
Before you begin to combat the fear of an audience, think back to the last meeting in which you had to speak through force. Excitement in this case is an absolutely natural emotion, but when it develops into a panic attack, this naturally leads to various incidents.
Reduce anxiety
High levels of anxiety often make it difficult to relax and calmly share your point of view. A speaker who is constantly worried about how others will perceive his words runs the risk of losing attention and not being able to cope even with pre-prepared compelling arguments in his favor.
Constant practice helps reduce anxiety and establish rapport with the audience.
Psychologists are convinced that constant practice helps to reduce the degree of anxiety and establish contact with the audience, and for this you do not need to wait for the next meeting: first try to capture the attention of your friends or colleagues by sharing an interesting story with them.
One of the criteria for success is constant contact with listeners, the ability to feel them. In the case of colleagues, there is also an additional task: when speaking, try to determine the moment when you should interrupt, so as not to prolong your mini-speech.
At first, working in two directions at the same time may seem incredibly difficult: a casual monologue must be successfully combined with establishing contact. But each time, anxiety will interfere with you less and less, and at the same time your oratorical experience and skill will increase.
Cope on your own
Recognizing that a problem exists is the first step to successfully overcoming it. If you intend to overcome your fear of meetings, then pay attention to these simple and quite effective recommendations:
Overcoming performance anxiety is a long-term process, and it's important to celebrate even the smallest positive changes along the way.
- Fix your target.
Most likely, you are suffering for a reason: your performance is needed to achieve a specific goal. This may be the need to convey to potential customers the benefits of cooperation with your company, or perhaps a salary increase depends on the impressive presentation of the report. In any case, the goal should be important and useful in the future, and then it will be easier to cope with anxiety: just keep it in mind. - Practice in a calm environment.
Practice your performance at home in front of the mirror. Re-read the text several times until you memorize it completely or at least partially. This will give you ease, confidence that you are well versed in the topic, and at the same time save you from the painful search for the right words. - Use rhetorical devices.
Good speakers' speeches are usually rich in rhetorical devices that allow them to connect with the audience. These could be questions for those present or humorous asides (in the latter case, it is worth remembering that the best impromptu is the one that is prepared in advance). You can analyze the experience of more successful colleagues or opponents, adopt their techniques and practice them at home. - Nonverbal signals.
Slouched shoulders, avoidance of eye contact and nervous movements are a sure sign that a person is under serious stress. At the same time, such behavior indirectly indicates that the speaker is not confident in what he is saying, and this causes a natural reaction of rejection from the audience. It is unlikely that colleagues will take the opinion of such a speaker seriously; Most likely, an opponent will be heard at the meeting, more confidently expressing his position. During your speech, watch your posture and periodically look at those present. You shouldn’t glare at one person, but an absent-minded gaze will definitely not add authority to you. - Possibilities of auto-training.
After each, even if not the most brilliant, performance, try to note the progress. Perhaps today you were able to better sense the reaction of the audience, shorten the report on time, or you have your first attentive listeners. Or maybe you found good arguments and, despite the excitement, were able to defend your point of view. All these facts need to be voiced, because there is nothing wrong with rewarding yourself with a well-deserved compliment and gaining a little more confidence. Overcoming performance anxiety is a long-term process, and it's important to celebrate even the smallest positive changes along the way.
How to overcome anxiety and fear of public speaking: psychological techniques
It's actually possible to overcome your fear of performing. This skill can be developed in yourself, like many others. To do this, you have to work with two aspects:
- Learn to eliminate the physiological reaction of the body;
- Work out your psychological attitudes.
The physiological reaction of the body is expressed in increased heart rate, heart rate, etc. You can fight it with special exercises immediately before going on stage.
But working through your psychological attitudes is much more difficult. Let's start with them.
Basic methods for reducing fear of speaking:
- Increasing your own self-esteem . It would seem like a banal rule. But in this case it works like a charm. We often elevate the importance of other people too much in our eyes. The assessment of the audience, the listeners, the viewers of your performance becomes so important that you become too vulnerable. You think that the listeners to whom you are reading your report are much smarter, more competent, more professional than you, and thereby program yourself for failure. At this time, you should concentrate on yourself and on the process of performing, and not on its result.
- Don't set a goal for yourself to be perfect . Many people are so afraid of making a mistake or looking ridiculous in front of a crowd that they prefer not to perform at all. In this case, it is worth asking yourself the question: “What happens if you make a mistake?” In fact, nothing fatal will happen, and everyone makes mistakes. Only those who do nothing make no mistakes.
- Appearance . Before the performance, you must be confident in your impeccable appearance. If something is wrong in your image, it will only distract your attention from the main thing - giving a speech, report, presentation, performance. Therefore, approach the choice of hairstyle, clothes, shoes, and makeup with all seriousness. In this case, appearance is not a small thing.
- Practice . Repetition is the mother of learning. You remember this saying, right? In the case of the feeling of fear before performing, it is necessary to constantly practice. Don't let your fear take over you. Even if your performance was unsuccessful, this is not a reason not to go on stage and stop speaking publicly. After speaking in public a few times, the fear will gradually decrease. All public people once spoke for the first time, and they were probably scared too. But then, over time, they got used to the audience, the stage, and the fear disappeared. For them, public speaking has become a familiar environment.
- Eye contact is important , no doubt. But it confuses many people. For example, you might make eye contact with a dissatisfied listener who is negative, looks at his watch, and yawns. In this case, you can easily lose your speech. Don’t look at such a listener, but rather find one who will watch with interest. An experienced speaker seeks a response in the eyes of grateful listeners. If you find it difficult to speak and look someone in the eyes, try to look not straight into the eyes, but a little higher - over the head. In this case, it will seem that you are looking at the viewer, but no one will disturb your peace of mind.
- Preparation . It’s not for nothing that we placed this point in last place. After all, it’s the preparation that you should devote the most time to. The text of a speech, report, role, poem, it doesn’t matter what you talk about, but you must memorize your words. So that even when you are woken up at night, you can recite these lines. Then performing will be much easier and simpler. Be sure to rehearse at home. The speech can be recorded on a tape recorder, or you can speak in front of a mirror. If there is someone at home to listen to you, great, rehearse in front of your household.
Rules for successful public speaking
Important: You also need to learn to work through your mistakes. Even if you made a mistake during your speech, pretend that you should.
Don't run off stage and stop performing. Just learn to smile and carry on with a relaxed demeanor.
There are three options for further events:
- some viewers will not understand what happened;
- some will be treated with understanding;
- the memory of your mistake will go away after you finish your speech brilliantly.
Just be positive.
How to overcome anxiety, fear of performing on stage, in public: results
Let's summarize what you still need to do to overcome the fear of speaking:
- Increase your self-esteem.
- Ensure a flawless appearance.
- Don't focus on the importance of the audience.
- Look for a response in the eyes of grateful listeners and spectators.
- Train, develop oratory in a practical way, speak again and again.
- Prepare carefully for a speech, study your speech.
- Get a good night's sleep before the performance.
- Don't focus on the outcome of the performance, instead enjoy the process.
- Before performing, warm up your facial nerves, body, and vocal cords.
- Learn breathing exercises that will help you perform successfully.
- Learn to behave on stage, position your hands, eyes, and smile correctly.
- Do not drink alcohol or sedatives before the performance. It is also important not to drink a lot of liquid before a performance, not to eat low-quality foods, so that no incidents happen on stage or behind the podium.
Important: After you have performed, be sure to analyze your performance. Highlight and work out your shortcomings.
We hope we were able to help you. If you managed to overcome your fear of speaking, write your ways in the comments.
Remember that you are not experiencing fear, but excitement.
One of the main life hacks for any anxiety event is to turn the feeling of fear into a state of excitement. This is done quite simply - through internal dialogue with yourself.
Understand that fear is the feeling we experience in front of something disgusting and destructive. For example, in front of armed robbers or sewer monsters. Meanwhile, public speaking is a performance that will help you convey your meaning to the audience, improve your speaking skills and earn people’s recognition. It's not scary, it's just exciting.
- FAQs How to become a tough, strong-willed person and develop self-confidence: a detailed guide In the modern world, there is nowhere without willpower and strength of character.
By realizing this, you will be able to convert your so-called feeling of fear into excitement, which can energize rather than demoralize.
Fear of performance: who experiences it?
Most people have experienced anxiety, panic, or fear before a performance at least once in their lives. And some experience fear of performing all the time.
Performance involves more than just concert activity. This includes giving a report at an educational institution, speaking at a meeting, giving a presentation, giving a toast at a gala event, or reciting poems by heart by students at school.
When a person experiences fear before performing, the body responds:
- Hands, knees, voice begin to tremble;
- The heart begins to beat faster;
- Heat rushes to the cheeks, which can cause red spots to appear on the face;
- The pulse also increases;
- The voice grows stiff, and the person cannot put two words together.
Excitement can manifest itself in different ways, depending on the personal qualities of the person, the audience in front of whom one has to speak, and the importance of the event.
Many people believe that fear of speaking is experienced by timid people. However, it is not. Even those who are professional speakers may experience anxiety to a greater or lesser extent.
Important: Fear of performing is one of the most common phobias in the world.
Therefore, you should not think that you are the only person who does not know where to place his eyes during a performance. In this article we will try to help you gain confidence in your abilities and overcome anxiety.
Performance Fear
7. Smile
A positive approach will be useful not only during a speech, but also in any other circumstances. The thing is that a smile can increase the level of endorphins, as well as overcome anxiety and calm you down.
At the same time, it helps to gain confidence and win over the audience. The main thing is not to overdo it with a smile, otherwise it can give you a manic look.
A few more tips, or what to do if...
If you set out to learn how to speak in front of an audience without worrying, you need to practice a lot. This is the case when quantity turns into quality.
If you are a participant in a corporate feast, make toasts.
If you are communicating with friends, get into character and turn ordinary chatter into a dialogue with your listeners. Friends may not notice anything, or they may wonder if everything is okay.
If you are determined to overcome your fear of public speaking, speak as soon as the opportunity arises. And then the skill of speaking, being in the center of attention and feeling comfortable at the same time, will become a habit. By the way, this practice is an effective way to overcome self-doubt.