How to bring back love and relationships in your family: 15 perfect tips

Most married couples, having lived together for several years, are faced with a common problem - feelings fade and become dull, indifference appears, the relationship is dominated by everyday life and everyday routine. Is it possible to return the love and vivid sensations that were at the very beginning of life together? This is quite possible if both spouses want to work on themselves and do everything possible to rehabilitate past feelings.

There are no universal recipes with a 100% guarantee, since each couple has its own problems and characteristics. However, there are several proven recommendations that are suitable for everyone. Apply them together and in the near future you will notice pleasant changes in your married life.

Tip #1: Travel to where you first met

Dating is one of the most vivid romantic memories for any couple. The day and place of the first meeting is remembered for life, even if not everything went perfectly.

If the relationship has reached the stage of crisis, you have become just friends or neighbors for each other, try to recreate that happy picture from the past when everything was just beginning.

Surprise your spouse and plan a trip to the place where the first date happened. There, psychological anchors will return you to the past and cause pleasant sensations. You will remember the first time you held hands, kissed or confessed your sympathy for each other.

Visit public gardens, parks and cafes where your first dates took place. There is no need to set the task of resurrecting the past; it is enough to simply remember how good it was together and want to return these feelings.

Is it worth making peace after a breakup: advice from psychologist Daria Milai

It is possible to return an ended relationship in no more than three months. If reconciliation drags on for a long time, most likely you will have to rely only on friendship.

I recommend the following:

Have an open, heart-to-heart talk in a calm tone and without unnecessary emotions. Try to convey to your chosen one in a gentle form that you love him, value him and do not want to lose him.
Try to make concessions and find a compromise, leave your principles aside.
If the quarrel is of a domestic nature, try to come to an agreement and redistribute roles and responsibilities.
Look at the situation from your partner's point of view, understand what pain or indignation you could cause him.

And in order to prevent problems from recurring in the future, agree on what rules you will use to quarrel. Do not forget that your union was united by a bright feeling, try to maintain it despite the negativity.

Tip #2: Add romance to your relationship

Any psychologist, when asked how to bring love back into the family, will advise adding romance to the relationship.

When arranging a romantic date, take care to create a special atmosphere:

choose relaxing music,
light candles - dim light promotes a romantic mood,
buy beautiful underwear,
Don’t forget about pleasant aromas that your loved one likes.

Add romance to your everyday life:

when leaving for work, leave nice notes wishing you a good day,
say words of love not only on holidays, but every day, at the most unexpected moments,
give nice little things and flowers, bring breakfast in bed.

Make a wish list

To escape the rut, start keeping a list with your loved one of what you want to do in the next few years. Perhaps skydive, go on a road trip, or learn to ride a stand-up paddleboard.

Don't write down your own desires, but add to the list only what you would like to do together. Drawing up such a unique wish map will bring romance and positivity into your life together. This will bring you closer, even if you don't complete all the items on your list.

Tip #3: Create a shared story

As a couple, it is important to have shared memories, funny incidents and experiences that concern only the two of you.

A common story is when, with one word, you remind your spouse of some interesting, pleasant or funny incident. You both laugh, remember details and become even closer to each other, because you will not experience such emotions with anyone else.

On any trip, take general photographs and record as many pleasant moments as possible.

When things get cold in a relationship, look through photo albums and remember the happiest periods of your life. Such memories can melt the ice and return tenderness and awe to relationships.

How to save a relationship on the brink

Usually, people think about the need to improve relationships when hurtful words have already been expressed out of emotion, and disappointment has reached its limit. When love has completely left the hearts of partners, it is extremely difficult to restore it, but in the initial stages of the fading of feelings, it is possible.

At first, new sensations capture our consciousness so much that it seems that we can move mountains, love will not disappear anywhere, and the chosen one will always be the closest person. Unfortunately, at this moment many couples manage to get married and even have children. However, after a little time they realize with bitterness that emotions have cooled down, and bright dates have turned into gray everyday life. Also, two more crises occur during family life - the first, after the birth of children, when the wife completely withdraws into motherhood, and the husband does not yet realize the seriousness of the situation, and the second, when the children leave the parental home and a feeling of emptiness sets in.

Coping with difficult periods proves to be an insurmountable task for many couples. However, it is worth talking as much as possible, even if the conversations frankly don’t work out. You need to tell your chosen one about your problems and experiences, and also give warmth and care. Try not to reproach him and over time the streak of negativity will be smoothed out by a set of positive emotions.

Tip #4: Appreciate the good in each other

Some couples don’t understand how to get their love back when they’ve gotten used to it a long time ago and have learned everything about each other.

Become more attentive to your spouse, remember for what qualities you fell in love with him and what positive aspects you noted in your life together. Notice the traits your partner has that others don't. For example, this is the ability to listen and support, a calm character, the ability to quickly resolve any complex issues, etc.

Celebrate only the good, and try to close your eyes to the shortcomings, because they exist in every person.

What you need to consider: nuances and important details

Before returning to your old relationship, you need to weigh the pros and cons.

You should not try to get your man back if you broke up for the following reasons:

your partner raised his hand to you and beat you repeatedly;
you are not ready to change your lifestyle, desires;
your partner puts strong psychological pressure on you and humiliates you;
you do not match in temperament and character.

A family, a relationship between two people, is the daily work of a man and a woman. If one person constantly makes compromises, and the second only takes advantage of this and manipulates it, then it is unlikely that a good union will result.

Tip #5: Do stupid things

Couples who constantly try something new, extraordinary and stupid remain interesting to each other much longer. Stability and planning are good. But at least occasionally you need to add drive to the relationship by doing spontaneous things together. Behave childishly and do little stupid things:

send each other funny pictures with funny captions by email,
joke with each other - only good irony is welcome, not evil sarcasm,
organize a family competition to eat your favorite dishes at speed,
go on an unplanned trip to another city and spend time walking, holding hands,
go to the beach at night and swim naked in the sea,
put together a puzzle, play Twister or Monopoly - during the game you will become closer and have a lot of fun.

Is it possible to get my partner back?

It is necessary to carefully analyze whether it is worth renewing and restoring relationships after breaking up with a guy. Compare all the events that preceded the breakup. Think it over, take your time. If you want to plunge back into a union with your ex, you will have to change your behavior and tactics, otherwise, even temporary well-being can again contribute to a breakup.

What are the chances

If, before separation, a man and a woman tried to maintain a thin thread of connection, convinced that they needed each other, there is a high probability of their reunion. When there is room for emotions, even negative ones, this does not mean indifference and insincere feelings.

There is a situation when there is no longer any desire or strength to prove something, and most importantly, partners do not see the point in this. The parting takes place in calm tones; after the separation, both feel relieved. People have already tried all possible ways to settle down their coexistence, but it has not brought results. In this case, it is unlikely that you will be able to regain your former passion.

Is it possible to return a person who does not want to communicate?

If the chosen one refuses to make contact, this does not mean that he has finally given up on love. Maybe resentment has settled in his soul or disappointment has not subsided. But if the former partner realized that freedom is much more attractive, he is more comfortable alone and has already gone to great lengths, there is no point in returning such a person. The only right step to restarting a relationship after a breakup is to wait for the time.

Psychologist Daria Milai

Make an appointment

If the breakup was preceded by deception

Here you will have to try to prove the transparency of actions. Many people perceive a lie as a betrayal and can no longer trust their other half. It is worth explaining in detail to your beloved the reason for the lie, frankly telling what is painful and tearfully promising that this is the last lie in your union.

If we are talking about constant betrayal, it is not possible to restore trust.

The illusion of freedom

The person who first decided to end the relationship talked about it and is in a better position. He simultaneously feels freedom and the opportunity to return back. It is necessary to suppress attempts to return, ignore, and not give chances for meetings or phone calls. If this excites him and makes him take action and think about whether it is possible to return to the relationship after breaking up. If he behaves calmly and is not interested in your life, the hope of getting together is close to zero.

Tip #6: Save positive emotions

Sharing positive emotions is an important component of a happy marriage. If you don't know how to bring love back into a relationship, try filling it with pleasant moments. Get rid of the constant routine, do what improves your mood:

go to the cinema, theater, restaurant or concert of a band that you both like,
spend your day off not cleaning, but watching movies with a cup of tea and delicious desserts,
Organize leisure time together at the SPA center.

Positive emotions should become a habit. Set aside separate time and money to please each other and enjoy life together.

Diversify your everyday life

If you're feeling adventurous, come up with ideas for unusual and extreme dates. We often give up spontaneity and fun adventures in favor of stability. And in vain. After all, they are the ones who add romance to a relationship.

Try going to a climbing wall, river rafting, hot air ballooning, or tango lessons. Any activity together that will increase your adrenaline levels and allow you to get out of your comfort zone will do.

If you don’t like extreme sports, arrange a small quest or treasure hunt for yourself and your partner based on your relationship. You will definitely remember this date for a long time.

Tip #7: Have a date night at least once a week

Make it a rule to have dates at least once a week. Send the kids to grandma and spend time with each other.

During a date, focus on your loved one, don't think about problems, don't discuss work or other people. Relax, say gentle words and compliments to each other, give some pleasant little thing that will be associated with this happy moment.

The ideal option is a date in an unusual place:

on the roof of a high-rise building,
in a forest or park,
on the seashore or river bank,
water excursion on a boat, etc.

An unusual place will diversify the usual atmosphere and enhance the pleasant impression of the date.

Go back in time

Memories of tender, sensual and simply happy moments spent together help bring you closer together. Find on the shelf an old Valentine's card that your partner once gave you. Re-read the correspondence of the first days. Look at photos from your wedding, honeymoon or other travels.

You can do all this together and spend time hugging, remembering interesting stories from your life together. Such an evening will help you get out of the routine and give a second wind to your relationship.

Tip #8: Travel more

The best way to get closer and bring love back into a relationship is to go on an independent journey. Participate in the process together. If your spouse does not want to organize, get him interested in:

together determine the country or city of travel,
plan your route
discuss attractions and must-see places,
select hotel, plane tickets, etc.

If you have no finances, travel around Russia, at least for a couple of days, go to neighboring cities and regions.

Surprise your partner and organize a trip to a city where he previously lived, studied, served in the army, or has long wanted to visit.

Unconventional ways to restore love

Women resort to magic if the chosen one shows coldness and indifference, is determined to break up the relationship, or other methods do not work. Fortune telling helps clarify the situation, shows what awaits the couple in the future, and why the partner fell out of love.

Before casting a spell, you need to understand that you can return passion to a relationship and not pay for the magical effect only if the feelings are mutual. For example, a husband lost interest in his wife because of domestic problems. Magic directs a man's thoughts in the right direction. He begins to think about the woman he loves, falls in love again and rushes to demonstrate his feelings. You can read the plot yourself. They say it on the new moon or on the night of the full moon.

During the ceremony, candles are lit. They read the plot in a whisper. It begins to act the next day, and sometimes immediately after reading. If a man loves a woman, there will be no negative consequences, if not, then he will have to pay.

In addition, you can read prayers before going to bed so that the Almighty preserves love and relationships. However, if the couple is not destined to be together, the reunion will not happen.

You can return to your old relationship if love lives in the hearts of your partners. To inflame passion in the heart of a beloved man, a woman needs to do the very least - start taking care of herself, become more attentive to her partner, and give free rein to sexual fantasies. If there is no love, then no methods will help.

Tip #9: Turn off your phone

How to bring love back into a relationship? Clearly separate family life from all other areas. You shouldn’t completely give up on personal development, but family relationships should be more important to you than work, social routine and personal hobbies:

do not waste your free time on solving work issues,
give up regular delays at work,
spend your weekends with your family,
do not check social networks and email every 5 minutes,
in the evening after work, don’t sit with your head buried in your phone or tablet - your partner will feel unnecessary and uninteresting.

A romantic dinner with your husband (wife) should not be interrupted by a phone call from your boss demanding that you resolve an urgent work issue.

Work during working hours, leave everything else for your family.

What should I do to get my old feelings back?

How to get your feelings back? - Let's start with ourselves.

First of all, we evaluate our appearance and make adjustments. This is the first step towards restoring the relationship. A woman under 25 has the appearance that nature gave her, and after 25 she has the appearance that she created for herself. Manicure, pedicure, neatly plucked eyebrows, hairstyle to suit the face, clean skin, healthy teeth and normal weight in accordance with height - this is the minimum that a woman must provide for herself. Many people do manicures and pedicures themselves. If you don’t know how and don’t have the funds for the services of a master from a salon, sign up for a center where they teach professions in the field of cosmetology. There you can act as a model and get good results by paying only for consumables. The same goes for hairstyles. You can get a haircut inexpensively at the same training center, or you can grow your hair long and simply take care of it. Skin in good condition will be maintained by proper nutrition and a cream selected for your skin type. Proper nutrition and physical activity are also the key to a beautiful figure and good mood. A woman's clothes should always be clean and ironed. If she washes the toilet or cleans the fish, then her home clothes should be changed to fresh ones after finishing the dirty work. A well-groomed woman looks neat and smells pleasant at all times, and not just “in public.”
The second step is to regain our confidence. If a woman constantly “chews” an offensive word or develops complexes such as “I’m ugly/fat/thin”, “I’m a bad mother/wife/lover/housewife”, “nobody needs me”, then she looks extremely unattractive. You need to get rid of them, sometimes with the help of a psychologist, and learn to perceive yourself completely and unconditionally.
The third step is to develop as a person. Give up bad habits: smoking (by the way, a smoking woman looks much less attractive than a non-smoking woman, all other things being equal); drinking alcohol in excess quantities (the norm for women is 300 ml of dry wine per week); shopping addictions; gaming addiction and social media addiction; overeating; spending more than 1 hour watching TV per day. Sleep fully for 7-8 hours, and not in fits and starts, while watching TV or social media. Your body will thank you, and you will look and feel much better.

Also stop using foul language and get rid of parasitic words. Try to improve your diction by taking vocal classes or at least watching instructional videos. Learn to draw - with a pencil, charcoal, paints - it doesn’t matter. Sign up for a florist or web designer course (or whatever course you like). Go to the gym or practice at home while listening to music, run in the grove and swim in the pool.

Read books, a lot of good books – fashion magazines don’t count; The greater the number of books read, the higher the level of development of a woman. Stop watching 1000-episode soap operas and talk shows. It’s better to visit a theater, an exhibition, a museum. Remember, cute little dummies are out of fashion for a long time.

You will become a different person, significantly improve your quality of life, and your partner will notice this and feel that he is interested in you again.

Tip #10: Get involved in a common cause

Many couples face a relationship crisis because they stop being interested in each other. Sometimes spouses live side by side for many years and do not even know about their partner’s hobbies. Sooner or later, unions of indifferent people fall apart.

Try to be more attentive to your chosen one and his interests. The ideal option is to create a common business or find a joint hobby.

Here are some tips:

If your spouse loves basketball, buy him a ticket to the game and go with him. You might like it and become a basketball fan too.
Organize a common business. For example, your spouse works in the IT field, and you are good at drawing. Combine your skills and create a website for selling paintings.
Go to a ski resort. Even the most diverse people will find something to their liking here: skiing, snowboarding or just walking and enjoying nature.
Buy gym memberships and attend workouts together.

The easiest way to join forces is to cook together. Make it a rule to cook a new dish together every weekend. In the future, you can start a blog and post recipes with photos.

Is it worth getting back into a relationship after a breakup?

At the end of the candy-bouquet period, people stop noticing each other’s positive qualities, focusing on the negative aspects. There is a change in the perception of loved ones. Reproaches and misunderstandings begin. It is important to prevent undesirable consequences in the form of destruction of the union. You can return your old feelings if:

There were children in the marriage. Both spouses understand the responsibility and how difficult it will be for the baby to survive their loss, to understand why other mothers and fathers live together. Sometimes this reason is so strong that even when the children have grown up and created their own families, the woman and man still do not dare to take an important step.
If a strong and loving couple split up for an absurd and frivolous reason, each of the companions will feel sorry for the effort invested and the time spent.

Tip #11: Kiss more often

A kiss is a shot of adrenaline and the easiest way to get closer on a physical and emotional level. Morning kisses charge you with positive energy and guarantee a great mood for the whole day.

Kiss your partner for no reason, showing your interest and passion. Don’t do it automatically and on the run, put your soul and energy into the kiss. Your spouse will certainly feel pleasant sensations during such contact and will not remain indifferent.

Foreplay with long kisses before sex will heighten your senses, increase desire and put you in the right mood.

Gradual restoration of relationships after a breakup

We often do the wrong thing, offending our loved ones or ending sincere relationships emotionally. Partners may seem proud and avoid further meetings, but if a spark of sympathy glimmers in their soul and there is a desire to revive their former passion, they should take my advice and choose the right tactics of behavior. I will help you understand how to get back together after a breakup, for this you need to sign up for my consultation.

It is necessary to carefully analyze what caused the gap. If this happened due to your emotionality and dissatisfaction, you will have to work hard on yourself. The problem needs to be reconsidered. If your partner leaves you, the situation is more complicated. Until you find out what was the impetus for the end of the relationship, it is useless to take action. The main thing is to neutralize the cause and begin to establish contact.
Reconnecting after the day of separation is a bad idea. Need to cool down. For everyone this is a different period - 2-3 months, a year or more. Don’t force yourself on your loved ones, this will only push them away, especially if serious events contributed to the separation.
When some time passes, you need to start communicating. It's good if you are colleagues or often cross paths. If you don’t see each other and don’t know anything about your other half, you’ll have to arrange a “random meeting” in a store, gym, swimming pool, or in the company of mutual friends.
When you have already managed to establish contact, do not be intrusive and pushy. Start communicating on neutral topics, do not immediately move on to resuming your life together. Believe me, if you still have mutual feelings, you will definitely be together.

To restore a love connection, you need to be patient and slowly move towards your goal.

Tip #12: Compliment each other

The question of how to return love to the family is relevant for many couples in a long-term marriage. Habit and routine are the main causes of cooling. Spouses stop surprising each other and showing their feelings the way they did when they met.

Think back to the beginning of your relationship. You told each other compliments and kind words, constantly kissed and hugged. Look at your chosen one with the same look with which you assessed him at the very beginning, begin to admire him again.

Evaluate your partner’s appearance, note his beautiful smile or smart eyes. Give praise for successes at work or the pounds you've lost. Say this with delight, just like a few years ago when you just met.

The main thing is not to be a hypocrite and do not flatter. Compliments must be sincere and real, otherwise it will have the opposite effect.

The best compliment is gratitude. Say thank you for every little thing, and your chosen one will want to do more and more pleasant things for you.

How to get your boyfriend back if you still love him

First of all, you need to understand whether your efforts to get your guy back are really a good idea. Maybe you really are just different people, and your breakup was the logical end of the relationship.

The most popular story is a breakup due to the inability and unwillingness to listen, agree, or seek a compromise.

Uncontrolled emotions during a conversation can cause a scandal, in the heat of which rude words were spoken. Perhaps they became the reason for the guy to leave.

Even if after a quarrel you both calmed down and realized your guilt, the fear of being the first to apologize leads to a sad end.

He understands that you don't care and leaves. And you are afraid to seem weak and do not hold it. Pride prevents you from taking the first step and saying important words. Which situation is close to you?

If it’s the first, then there’s no point in trying to get him back.

Well, if the second one, and you understand that feelings still remain, but because of fear and pride you hide them, then start trying to return your loved one.

If the question of how to get back into a relationship with a guy after a breakup haunts you, but you don’t know how to fix everything, you need to establish contact in any way. Of course, you will be awkward and uncomfortable, but look for the strength and courage to speak first. This should be a sincere, sincere conversation so that he believes your desire to return your former love.

1. Call him.

Most people are afraid to meet their ex-partners. This is not necessary; you can establish contact by simply dialing a phone number. Our realities allow us to solve these problems quite quickly: you can write an SMS, a message in the messenger or send an email.

First, think carefully about what you say (write), and only then press the call button or start writing SMS. Choose your words carefully, speak without a hint of reproach, in a friendly manner.

What should I say? Ask about his affairs, health, say thank you for his contribution to your relationship and life, remember the moments that warm your soul.

Such a conversation, of course, will not be able to return the past instantly, but this will be the first step towards improving relations, so you will understand his reaction to your call - irritation, anger or resentment.

If the telephone conversation goes smoothly, then you can proceed to the second stage. Gently hint that you would like to return to communication (friendly to begin with), and try to arrange a meeting.

Tip #13: Think and talk about sex more often

Without good and regular sex, marital relationships simply turn into family relationships, leaving only everyday life and formal obligations. As a result, spouses have sex for show or find interests on the side.

To bring back the spark and vivid emotions from sex into a relationship, you first need to talk honestly and openly with your partner about this problem. There is no need to insistently demand tenderness and affection, to find out why he doesn’t pester you, doesn’t kiss or hug you. Instead, try to re-interest and surprise him:

Don't be afraid to openly ask your partner about sexual preferences.
Tell him honestly what you want in bed.
Feel free to suggest new poses and experiments that you have been wanting to try for a long time.
Tell us about your wildest sexual fantasies, ask what he fantasizes about. Just the anticipation of such experiments will fuel desire, enhance the sensations of sex and bring a spark into your life.

In the middle of the workday, write your spouse an SMS about how much you want him and that you are looking forward to tonight.

How to get your relationship back with a guy and where to start

So, you broke up with your boyfriend and are wondering how to get your relationship back? First, you should calm down and “work on your mistakes”, understand whether you need him or whether it’s better to go in search of a new relationship.

Honestly admit to yourself what caused your scandals and his departure. This is very important, because if the guy returns, these problems can again come between you, provoke new showdowns and a final break. If you were the initiator of the “showdown”, think about whether you are ready to change, adapt to the man’s character, deny yourself some habits in order to get the relationship back?

If your ex-companion was not ashamed to insult you, humiliate you, or worse, beat you, decide whether you need such a person? Of course, as they say, “love is evil.” But think with a sober head, do you deserve such an attitude, there is nothing to love and respect you for?

Ask yourself: “Do I need him, and do I want the relationship back?” Maybe you just don’t want or are afraid of loneliness, are you ashamed to admit it to your friends? Maybe he was the guarantor of your well-being? Or is this really great and real love, dreams of a future with this person? Then you need to start the battle for your happiness!

How to get back into a relationship with your ex-boyfriend if emotions are still running high? Take a break, let the passions subside. Once you both have calmed down, you can take steps to restart your relationship. It is impossible to say how long it will take. It depends on the temperament of your loved one and you, the reason for his departure and the desire to be together again.

Since leaving a guy always hits your pride, you need to increase your self-esteem. The more you respect yourself, the faster you will be able to find a new crush or get your ex-boyfriend back.

Take care of yourself, tidy up your appearance (hair, figure), sign up with a trainer, change your image.
Talk to yourself every day about your strengths and forget about any weaknesses.
If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, do not be afraid to go to a psychologist.

Tip #14: Trust your partner

Jealousy is another reason for cooling of feelings and discord in family life. Suspicions of infidelity and constant reproaches can destroy even the strongest relationships.

Trust is the key to peace and harmony in the family. If your partner does not give reasons for jealousy, do not deliberately look for them, relax and completely trust your chosen one.

If a woman takes on a leadership role in the family, the man feels uncomfortable and gradually moves away. Let him be at the helm and make his own decisions without doubting their correctness. You will be pleasantly surprised at how your relationship changes if you stop crushing him with reproaches, claims, instructions and constant control.

Causes

There are any number of reasons for ending an affair or ending a marriage. The most common according to statistics are:

A relationship crisis, as a result of which tenderness and respect disappear, and fear of losing the other half appears.
Quarreling. Couples often fight over trifles: everyday issues, raising children, financial problems. Negativity gradually accumulates and leads to an explosion.
Jealousy does not catch the initiator as much as it does the partner who is not guilty, but is always accused. In a union without trust there can be no love.
Cheating is the main reason for all breakups. Having a girlfriend or boyfriend on the side is no longer immoral or indecent behavior. But for many, this family model is unacceptable and the offended half packs up their things.

A separate point is the disapproval of the relationship by loved ones and friends. You should not live according to other people's opinions, listen only to your heart.

PINK GLASSES

No matter how much a person boasts of his mind and intellect, emotions, according to psychologists, determine his choice much more often, as well as their absence. If there is not enough drive in life, dull predictable gray everyday life is all around, where can you get new impressions? Books, movies, TV? Past!

Memories of a former, long-gone first love are often devoid of anger and selfish expectations. Over time, we forgive ourselves for our mistakes made out of inexperience and forget all the pain caused to us. Only good, bright, sweet moments emerge in the memory, warm and feed the imagination, which, in turn, spurs the desire to regain lost happiness.

This scenario is especially true for those whom real partners humiliate, reproach and nag, thereby pushing into the arms of the past. If a person catches his first love on social networks on the Internet, and she, in turn, turns out to be free, then old feelings flare up again, and this is far from uncommon, experts say. Although disappointments happen much more often. What can we do, our imagination is a great artist, always ready to serve us and paint our expectations in bright colors as opposed to the real, not always rosy reality.

Whatever the present is, it is better than a ghostly past and a vague future, says Victoria Panchenko and quotes her favorite proverb: “A man who lives in the past has already died. The person who lives in the future has not yet been born. Only those who live for today truly live.” Therefore, even when talking about ways to return your ex-love, the psychotherapist convinces: “Start a new life here and now!”

Psychologist Andrei Kopyev identifies a separate category of people for whom returning loved ones “to their place” becomes the meaning of life.

“Abbé Prevost’s novel Manon Lescaut is an illustration of a relationship model where one escapes and the other tries to return him,” Andrey Kopyev gives an example. “She constantly finds herself in the arms of another man, and he, a very impressionable monogamous man, whose feelings are completely subordinated to one woman, follows her until his last breath.”

In the real world, it's the other way around. Women are more affectionate and impressionable. Men are more inclined to follow the manifesto of the poet Andrei Voznesensky: “Do not return to your former lovers, there are no former lovers in the world.”