The older we get, the harder it is to find new friends. And restoring relationships with old people, especially if you once quarreled and haven’t communicated for many years, may seem like an impossible mission. Everyone has their own life, new interests and social circle. What if the paths have diverged so far that they will never meet again? What if the resentment was so burning that it still hasn’t cooled down?
Nevertheless, if you really miss your friend and your relationship, you should at least try to restore it. Here's how to do it.
Don't deprive yourself of the opportunity to make peace
You had a fight with your friend and now you want your friend back? How to do it? The ground for reconciliation must be prepared immediately after a quarrel. Break yourself from the habit of gossiping. If you had a fight with a person, this does not mean that you can now publicly insult him and give away all his secrets. Have respect for the person you have yet to deal with. Don't do things that might make you feel ashamed. If you slander a person behind his back, do not think that the person will not know about it. There will always be evil tongues that can not only convey your statement verbatim, but also multiply it with their own thoughts on this matter.
What to do to reconcile two friends
Please note that such help may not only not be appreciated, but also received with hostility. Not all people like it when someone tries to get into their relationship with someone, and it doesn’t matter whether we are talking about existing relationships or about ones that have already been destroyed. If you know for sure that your help will be appreciated, and the quarreling girls need it, or one of the parties asked you for it, then you can take some steps in this direction.
Transmit a letter
Invite one of the parties to write a letter to a friend and seal it. Your mission will be to deliver this letter to the recipient, and make sure that he actually reads its text. The fact is that one of the girls may not dare to take this step, fearing that the message will not reach or will be ignored. You will make sure that the letter is still read.
Sudden meeting
You can organize some kind of event or celebration where you can invite both girls. If the breakup of their relationship was painful, then it is probably not worth warning them about an imminent meeting. If you know that each of them regrets the quarrel and wants to make peace, then you can certainly warn them that they will soon see each other - in such a situation, the girls themselves will most likely try to take advantage of the opportunity provided. At the event itself, give your friends the opportunity to talk alone - you can ask the two of them to go to the store for some “necessary” purchase, or leave them alone in the kitchen, after asking them to help with cutting the salad. There can be many options - your task is to give them a chance to talk without witnesses.
Don't wash dirty linen in public
Did you quarrel with a loved one? Don’t tell left and right the reason for your disagreement. Why would anyone know about her? The fewer people are involved in the relationship, the easier it will be to establish it. If you ask for advice on how to make peace with a friend, tell the situation, cast your friend in a bad light, then in the end you yourself will give rise to rumors. Do not do that. Are you having problems with a friend and don't know how to get your friend back? Think with your own head. People who communicate well with each other are quite aware of the habits and character of the person with whom they spend a lot of time. Think for yourself how you can resolve the quarrel. Do not bring up such a question either at a family council or at a meeting of friends.
Conspiracy for reconciliation after a quarrel
A major quarrel occurred recently, are your feelings still fresh? Then quickly read the conspiracy, which will help smooth out the consequences and look at the situation from different sides. It will work in both directions.
- A prayer is read to your Saint. Ask for help in your business from the bottom of your heart.
- If you had negative emotions, let them go. It’s better to remember how happy you were in the company of a friend or girlfriend, how much laughter, jokes, smiles there were.
- Take a white candle and light it.
- Say three times:
“Lord, help, Lord, bless, Amen. Just as a dark night rejoices at the small stars, as it rejoices, so the servant of God (name) will rejoice in the servant of God (name). Just as the evening dawn rejoices in the dark night, so the servant of God (name) will rejoice in the servant of God (name). Just as small stars rejoice in a bright month, a bright month, so the servant of God (name) will rejoice in the servant of God (name). Just as the bright month rejoices at the morning dawn, so the servant of God (name) will rejoice in the servant of God (name). Let what is said come true. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Amen. Amen".
- Bow to four sides and let the candle burn out to the end.
This method is strong, effective, and will help you quickly erase bad memories and bitter aftertaste from a quarrel from your memory. You can safely call your friend and ask for forgiveness. Very soon the positive energy will take away all the sorrows and pain from her or his heart, you will regain your old relationship again. Try it - the method has been tested many times and has reconciled many people.
Bide your time
It is impossible to heal the wounds immediately inflicted. This will take some time. Therefore, before you go to make peace, wait at least a day. Your feelings will subside, your friend will come to his senses, and then you can talk. If you go to apologize on the day of a quarrel, then any wrong word can add fuel to the fire and increase the scale of the conflict. As the famous saying goes: the morning is wiser than the evening. Don't solve your problems in the evening with a tired head. Better sleep with the problem. In the morning, a quarrel that seemed like a disaster in the evening will seem like a trifle.
How to get your friend back? After you have a fight, give each other time to cool down and think about the subject of the dispute. In a few days, you and your friend can reconsider your views and better understand your opponent's point of view.
“Don’t come near me, I’m offended,” or what leads to quarrels
Psychology provides answers to tricky questions regarding the complexity of human interactions. When misunderstandings and disputes occur, the blame for the events leading up to the conflict lies with everyone. First of all, analyze what happened , why it happened, what each participant thinks and how each participant perceives the quarrel, and then decide what to do with this knowledge.
Looking through women's forums and sites with advice from psychologists, you will see that two common reasons for disagreements with your best friend are the appearance of another person , a guy or a girl, and anger at each other's actions. Often girlfriends spread gossip, are jealous of the guys they like, envy fashionable dresses or a glamorous eyeshadow palette. And a conflict arises.
Situations when a third wheel arises in the communication of friends are as follows: a young man has appeared, to whom more attention is directed than to friendship, or another friend with whom hobbies coincide. The main rule is not to interfere in other people's lives. Good intentions do not justify such behavior, and the belief that you are acting from good intentions will be lost.
An emotional explosion often occurs between people due to misunderstanding and understatement. In other words, the girl is offended by the words of another, but does not talk about it because she is ashamed to admit it or believes that the reasons for the offense are obvious. She could hear gossip from mutual friends that touched her to the quick, and she believed it. The way out in such cases is to communicate, clarify positions and see the picture from the other’s point of view .
Understand the reason for the breakup
While you come to your senses at home, you will have time to figure out the cause of the conflict. Sometimes quarrels break out out of nothing, but they flare up very strongly. Remember that there is no smoke without fire. Any effect must have its own cause. If a quarrel took place, then you need to find the reason why it happened. Think about what could become a bone of contention. The reason may have arisen some time ago, but you did not eliminate the small conflict, and now it has broken your friendship like a snowball.
Is it possible to get friends back after a quarrel? Can. But before you take any action, you need to understand yourself. You must be absolutely sure that you understand the cause of the conflict. Only by recognizing the problem can it be quickly and easily eliminated.
When should you cast a spell to return friendship?
There was a major quarrel, misunderstanding, resentment. Your trusting, warm relationship has received a serious crack. You can apologize for a long time, ask for forgiveness and promise to start your friendship from scratch. We forgive with our heads, but mistrust and fear settle in our hearts. If such a situation happened to you and a friend, you need to heal your heart and give him confidence again. You can become the initiator of a conspiracy in both cases:
- When a friend is angry with you;
- When you are offended by the words or actions of a friend.
In any case, it takes courage to start. Your strong friendship can be renewed - the plot will work like a magical band-aid that can glue and heal a heart with resentment. These conspiracies were not invented today - they have a rich history. They have helped hundreds of people become friends again and forget the past. Now new opportunities are opening up for you - you don’t need to wait for your friend to show up, offer to forget the quarrels, or take back the unpleasant words spoken. Take action, the positive energy of kindred spirits is on your side.
Change your character
Don't know how to get your ex-friends back? If people distance themselves from you, it means they had their reasons. Try to find them. Chances are they didn't like your personality or behavior. Reconsider your views on life and yourself. You may not be as nice a person as you think you are. If many friends suddenly turn away from you, then you should urgently take serious measures. Talk to loved ones. Ask them frankly what is wrong with you. Say that you will not be offended by criticism and that you need it to work on yourself. Listen carefully to everything they tell you and take action. Change your habits, behavior, character. This will help you soon get back the people you have lost.
How can you apologize to your girlfriend?
Admit your wrongs and mistakes
Having realized your guilt for the conflict, you, of course, should convey this fact to your friend. Don’t expect her to take the first step if you understand that it was you who were wrong in the current situation. If we are talking about real friendship, then your friend is undoubtedly waiting for your initiative and hopes that the relationship will be restored. Choose the best time for a frank conversation. You can call her and invite her to a meeting at a time convenient for her. You can also start with a frank letter in which you admit all your mistakes, tell her what prompted you to commit them, and after that offer to discuss the current situation in a personal meeting. Having realized that you admit that you were wrong, your friend is unlikely to refuse further communication.
Tell your friend that you care about her
An apology alone may not be enough; more precisely, a sincere apology will probably still help you make peace, but it will be much better if you confess to your friend that she is a truly dear person to you. In this way, you will be able to smooth out all the misunderstandings between you, because ordinary apologies will most likely simply return everything to the way it was before, and such confessions will make you even closer.
Remember all the pleasant moments of friendship
Send your friend photos of you together that capture the pleasant moments of your life. Write to her that having come across these pictures, you realized how much you do not want to lose your friendship with her and how dear the memories of spending time together are to you. Most likely, such a message will help you establish a connection with your friend.
Arrange an unexpected surprise
Do you understand that your relationship with your friend is quite strained and you want to fix it? Try to give her an unexpected surprise that she will probably enjoy. You can order a bouquet of her favorite flowers by sending it by courier. Place a note in the bouquet: “Let’s forget about all the differences! You are very dear to me!”, do not forget to add your name at the end of the message. Of course, the text of the note may be different - whatever you consider most appropriate.
You can organize a surprise of a different kind. If you have enough money and soon there will be a musical group in your city that your friend likes, then buy tickets and invite her to the concert. Say that you want your relationship to improve, and propose to start a new page of your friendship with a grandiose event.
Surely, you are well aware of your friend’s tastes and preferences, so if you really want to, it won’t be difficult for you to pleasantly surprise and impress her.
Ask for forgiveness
People don't like to apologize. But this must be done if you want to bring back old friends. You need to approach the person you have offended or insulted and sincerely ask for his forgiveness. Say that you were wrong, mention that you realized your mistakes and are struggling with your shortcomings. There is no need to say anything about your friend in your apology. Don’t get too personal with him, because otherwise you might lose your temper and inadvertently say something personal. Don't use the pronoun "you" at all. When you apologize, you need to talk about yourself and your shortcomings. You cannot correct other people's mistakes. And if a person is truly dear to you, then you will be able to come to terms with the negative character traits of a loved one.
How to get your girlfriend and old friendship back
If I'm offended
In this case, wait until your friend initiates contact. Although it is important to understand that this is only appropriate if your grievances are completely justified. Otherwise, it is possible that your friend is also offended, and, like you, is waiting for initiative from the “offender.”
If my friend gets offended
If your friend is offended by you, then it is important to react correctly. Some people need time to “cool down,” and trying to make peace right away won’t help. Other people “wind up” themselves even more if the conflict is not resolved in a timely manner. Therefore, it will be better if you try to immediately bring your friend to a conversation for reconciliation. If the attempt is unsuccessful, then it makes sense to wait a while.
If I'm to blame for our quarrel
There can only be one option - to apologize to your friend. If you realize your guilt, then there is no point in remaining silent, thinking that over time everything will be forgotten. Some girls are so afraid to admit their mistakes that they would rather be left without a friend, but will not apologize. Perhaps you also hope that everything will be resolved by itself, and by doing so you push your friend away from you even more. Put yourself in her place and think - would you like this behavior!?
If the culprit of the quarrel is a friend
In this case, wait until she realizes her guilt and gets in touch with you. However, as already mentioned, it is very difficult for some girls to admit their own mistakes. Perhaps your friend regrets what she did, but at the same time it is morally difficult for her to call you - she is afraid of your reaction. If you value your friendship, then try to take the first step. Call her and calmly ask her if she thinks you need to talk. Based on her reaction, you will understand whether she has realized her mistakes and whether she needs this friendship as much as you do.
If the guy was the reason
There are nuances here. If we are talking about a guy who is not in a relationship with either of you, then ask your friend to forget about this situation. Of course, if one of you is truly in love with him, then the other one should back off. Are they both in love? Agree to let the guy decide for himself which of you is more interesting to him. Although, this is a very sensitive topic. Girls whose quarrel is caused by a guy are unlikely to have ever been true friends.
If you publicly disgraced or slandered her (she)
It is possible that in this situation the friendship will come to an end. However, it is worth clarifying an important point: you or your friend did this on purpose or it happened by accident. Be that as it may, you should explain yourself to each other.
If your friend doesn't pay back the debt or you owe money
If your friend does not return your money, then assess the situation from the outside or ask her personally why she is doing this. If she really has no opportunity to do this, and at the same time she feels guilty, promising to return everything at the first opportunity - be more lenient with her. If you understand that she simply does not want to return the money, then it is better to forget about such a friend. Do you owe money? Then find a way to repay the debt! You understand that otherwise you can earn a bad reputation, and you are simply acting dishonestly towards the person who once helped you. Are you unable to return the entire amount at once? Invite your friend to return it at least in small parts.
If the reason was inattention or jealousy towards other friends
In this case, a sense of ownership rose up in you. Realize that your friend does not belong to you, and she may well communicate with other girls. If you really care about her, just maintain your friendship, and over time everything will fall into place. It was not you who showed jealousy, but your friend? Treat this with understanding - she is most likely just afraid of losing you. If this person is dear to you, try to give him more attention and time, and the situation will improve.
Don't push for pity
How to get your boyfriend back? You will need to try to regain the person's trust. When people's roads diverge, people reconsider their views on life and the people around them. Man is accustomed to blaming himself for all troubles. Don't be surprised that it will be difficult for you to ask for forgiveness. Even if you did not initiate the quarrel, you were unable to moderate the heat of the conflict, and therefore it turned into a disaster. Apologize to the person and take all the blame on yourself. Such an action will show your friend that you are ready to change and take responsibility for your actions. What should you not do? Do not push for pity under any circumstances. This is the last thing a reasonable person would do. It’s not worth it to humiliate yourself and whine that you feel very bad and you can’t live without a guy. This will not elevate you in the eyes of a friend, but, on the contrary, will lower you even lower.
Conspiracy over an old grudge between friends
When the offense is old, it is very difficult to take the first step. It's been years since the last time you were truly friendly, and now it seems like there's no way to get it back. You can rekindle the fire of friendship - you will need a friendship plot that can break the ice of misunderstanding and anger.
The ritual is performed on Friday evening on the waxing moon. You need:
- Three white candles and one church candle.
- A joint photo with a friend, if he is not there, write your names next to it on clean white paper.
- Mirror.
- A ball of red woolen thread.
The ritual must be performed exactly like this:
- Place the mirror on the table, or, if it is large, move the table towards it.
- Place the photo on the table.
- Place three white candles between the photo and the mirror.
- Light the church candle with matches, read, taking turns lighting the church white candles:
“Lord, bless, Lord, help. The angel walked from the throne to the church, and right up to the royal gates. At those gates stood the Most Holy Theotokos Mary and the Archangel Michael. They held a saber and a sword, with the sword they killed all human anger, and with the saber they cut out quarrels. Put, Lord, peace in place between the servants of God (names). Strengthen their peace and tranquility, close the gates so that their friendship is never broken. The Lord will remove that key, and no one will find it. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Lord Jesus, protect, Mother of God, save. Command the servants of God (names) to live in peace, in peace from this day until the end of time. Amen. Amen. Amen".
Actively imagine your friend, the years separating you. Ask him for forgiveness while looking at the photo. If you were wrong, apologize.
- Tear off a piece of red thread and tie the photo with it, saying:
“Best friend, beloved friend - forgive insults, forget quarrels. I forgive you, I ask for your forgiveness, your apology.”
- Place the photo under your pillow and go to bed. The situation will be resolved very soon.
Do something cute
Are you wondering how to get your best friend back? Do something nice for the person. For example, bake a cake and come and enjoy your culinary masterpiece. Does your friend love seafood? Then invite him to a seafood restaurant. When you appease a person’s soul, it will be much easier to forgive him. The conversation will take on a more friendly tone, and this will allow you to quickly establish old relationships.
You can do something good for a person if you know exactly how you can help. For example, if you work with someone you know in the same office, help him with some part of the task. Don't ask permission to do something, but simply do a good deed without expecting any reward for it.
What else can help you restore your friendship?
There are many small rituals that can be used in parallel with the main one - they will help enhance its effect and speed up the result.
- Pink candles are a symbol of sympathy and reconciliation. Their soft, insinuating energy smooths out rough edges and heals the soul.
- Sandalwood and rose oil - has a very strong charge of healing at the energy level. Buy a small jar of this oil and keep it at home next to a photo of the person you want to return.
- Visualize the result more often - on the subway, at work, during meditation, imagine your friendships, talk with visualization.
- When you go to church, be sure to light a candle for your friend’s health. This is a very strong positive message that can be felt from a distance.
Use these tools, they are guaranteed to help you.
Never start a ritual while you still have resentment. Even if 10 years have passed. Everything evil, dark and destructive must be expelled from your soul, otherwise it will not be possible to restore friendship. So, not even a few months will pass before you initiate a quarrel again. Your sincere prayers will definitely be heard - the Universe will return your former happiness and joy, and help you forget everything bad. Believe in yourself, love your friends and ask for forgiveness more often. Share:
Don't fall out of sight
To quickly renew friendships, you should not leave your friend for a long time. After a quarrel, you may not appear at your friends' parties for some time, but such seclusion should not last longer than a week. Otherwise, your friends will think that you had a big quarrel with your friend and will start dividing you. Some of your mutual friends will have to take your side, while others will remain with your friend. This cannot be allowed. To avoid involving third parties in your problems, do not let people know that you have any problems. Try to maintain a friendly “facade”, smile at the friend with whom you had a fight, and not sort things out in public. By being in your friend's field of vision all the time, you will not let him forget about you, which means it will be much easier for you to make peace.
What to write to a friend to make peace with her
In a personal letter
Not every girl, after a conflict situation with a friend, will decide to have a frank conversation with her - especially if a lot of time has passed since then. If your friendship was really strong and you have a lot of pleasant memories together, then your friend probably misses that relationship too. It doesn’t matter who was to blame for your quarrel - if you want to fix everything, then you have the opportunity to do it. Write a letter to your friend, but do not focus on the negative aspects in it. Point out that you are very sorry that the situation turned out this way. If you are to blame for the conflict, then be sure to apologize! After that, write to your friend that you miss her, and sometimes you miss your conversations and meetings. Express the hope that your friendship can still be restored and taken to a new level, taking into account past mistakes.
In a short SMS or social networks (VK, Facebook, etc.)
A brief message may be appropriate if you are not at fault for the argument. Otherwise, your friend will most likely expect more detailed explanations of your actions and an apology from you. If your friend is to blame for what happened, and you suspect that she herself wants to make peace, but does not dare to take the first step, then you yourself can take the initiative. For example, you can write: “Would you like to meet and talk?” After that, you just have to wait for an answer.
In unobtrusive correspondence
It also happens that friendship comes to naught not after loud quarrels and serious disappointments, but on its own. One of the girls may immerse herself in a new novel or work, meeting with her friend less and less, and often meetings stop altogether. Over time, many girls regret that everything turned out this way, beginning to realize the true value of friendship. If this is similar to your situation, then you can try to quietly restore the friendship in the same way that it ended. You can start with congratulations on some holiday, while at the same time inquiring about your friend’s affairs. In response to her message, tell her a little about yourself, and ask her anything else. If you see that the correspondence is going easily, then invite her to “somehow cross paths in the city and drink coffee.” Was your friend enthusiastic about this proposal? Now all that remains is to set a date for the meeting.
Tips for custom solutions
Sometimes, in order to heal a friendship, you need to behave in such a way that an emotional outburst knocks your friend out of a negative mood. Surprise her with an invitation to a board game in a time cafe or to a master class on drawing with her eyes closed. In atypical conditions, it is easier to find common ground and create memories unrelated to past negative experiences.
If your confidante is so offended that she ignores attempts to get in touch, create a small tradition, for example, leaving “cute” messages for her on her wall on a social network. Share the news about the release of a sequel to your favorite series or a pattern for weaving a bauble that her younger sister will like.
It's important to show that rebuilding friendships matters to you . An unobtrusive but persistent manifestation of participation in interests will soften a friend, but it will take time.
Girls often put family first. If your friend is lucky enough to meet her loved one, try to become friends with them as a couple. Offer a team sports competition, take part in a quest, or go together to a concert of your favorite band. Having shouted enough, you will not only release the negativity, but also feel how the connection grows stronger.
The main thing for maintaining long-lasting friendship is a sincere desire to feel each other , to receive pleasure and benefit from communication, as well as sensitivity in the personal area. If these conditions are met, friendship will last a lifetime and will be a support in any situation.
Video tips: how to make peace with a friend?
In this video, psychologist Svetlana Babenkina will tell you about 10 steps that will help you regain your old relationship. Tips on how to make her stop being offended:
Flight is the best stratagem
Maintain your strength by avoiding open confrontation
The best way to get your friend back is to not get him back. You should just let him go free and let him wallow in a destructive relationship with the girl that you consider it to be. Let him understand what he needs more - friends or a lady. At this time, you can get busy with work or find yourself some new hobby.
But if you still decide not to stop at anything, think - maybe you want something more than ordinary friendship? Perhaps in this case you should open up and either completely lose your friend or find new love.
Team up with a distant enemy to defeat a nearby one
When we are constrained in position and constrained in action, We must take advantage of the weaknesses of the enemy near and avoid waging war against the enemy at a distance
When fighting for a friend, you can use his girlfriend’s enemies - offended exes, girlfriends, classmates and colleagues. Each of them can be used according to the situation: to hint to exes that a friend would like to remember the old days, to colleagues - because of whom they actually did not receive a bonus this month, and so on. All this is similar to the stratagem “Kill with someone else’s knife and rob during a fire,” but there are differences. The key point is the girl’s enemies, with whom you need to rally. Your motives may be different, but the end goal is the same.
Another important point is the friend's exes. By pitting them against his current woman, you can strike a strong spark from which a liberating flame will flare up. The main thing here is not to overdo it, otherwise your friend may simply jump from one passion to another, and nothing will change.
How to make peace if the cause of the quarrel is a man
A man always directly or indirectly brings discord into female friendships and this is normal.
The main thing is to resolve all omissions immediately. If you are jealous of your man for his own girlfriend, then it’s time to prioritize your relationship with both of them. To begin with, stop these endless dates of the three of you - you’ll chat with your friend during breaks (at home, at the institute), but make it a rule to spend the evening alone with your guy. Ask your boyfriend to come with a friend, arguing that your girlfriend feels uncomfortable. If the situation does not change, talk to her, explain your feelings. Tell your friend that you love her madly, however, you are now experiencing conflicting emotions that are still difficult to get rid of. This will help you make peace without dramas and hysterics, since a true friend will always understand and support.
If the situation with your boyfriend and girlfriend is exactly the opposite, and you act as that third “extra” person, avoid this situation. Never be alone with her lover, become less active in general conversation, do not touch him, do not joke about your friend. Monitor her reaction to you and if you feel that the situation is escalating (her friend is increasingly in no mood, stops calling, gets offended), stop interfering in this relationship altogether. Politely refuse the offer to go for a walk together in the evening, and admit to your friend that you feel awkward, so you don’t want to disturb them.
If a man was initially the object of admiration for both of you, but he liked you, a frank conversation will help you make peace with your offended friend. Say that every woman sooner or later finds the one, and you seem to have found him. Convince her that she is not the “losing” party, but simply someone who has not yet found her happiness. Help her find her soulmate.
If your friend is offended that you pay little attention to her, correct it, but with some reservations. If you used to spend 24/7 together, now she can only claim half of your time. A real girlfriend will understand your condition, believe me!
