Respect is a feeling that every person, without exception, wants to experience. Moreover, in most cases, people do not even think about their own respect for someone, but they want to be respected. but how to achieve it? How to make yourself respected?
The answer to this question is not so simple. It's not easy to make someone respect you, there is no one hundred percent answer, option, or way. Respect can only be provoked. But there is one small catch here, and it lies in the fact that in each individual case you need to provoke respect in different ways. It all depends on who should experience it in your relationship. For example, respect from a loved one. the same wife or children are easier to achieve, and in the case of friends. acquaintances and people simply around them will act in completely different ways.
It would also be worth saying that each person is unique in himself, and everyone respects people for different things - some for loyalty and devotion, some for the ability to achieve success and wealth, and some even for their willingness to commit bad and cruel actions. But let's look at the most common and important cases separately...
What are healthy personal boundaries?
From a psychological point of view, boundaries are the awareness of oneself as a separate person from those around him with his own emotions, values and physical personal space.
Personal boundaries have several components:
- emotional boundaries - the ability to distinguish your emotions from the experiences of other people;
- physical boundaries - a sense of personal space that you protect and do not allow to be invaded without permission;
- value boundaries - understanding one’s own value system. This helps you distinguish values that are close to you from those that are alien to you and follow them.
A person with healthy personal boundaries understands that he is fully responsible for his emotions, desires, words and actions, just like other people - and clearly sees where the boundary lies between his self and others. Such a person does not shift responsibility for his feelings onto others (“I am ashamed that my son chose the wrong profession. He makes me unhappy!”), and does not believe that he should or can control the behavior of other people (“If I will pay more attention to my beloved, she will stop drinking”).
Anxiety and agitation
Anxiety and excitement are about the same thing. Both states are accompanied by an increased heart rate and keep you alert and alert. But anxiety is considered to be a negative stimulus, and excitement is a positive one.
To change your mindset, try thinking of anxiety as excitement, which will help you avoid negative consequences. This will help you switch to a more optimistic mood, calm down a little and do more for a positive outcome.
How boundaries appear
The world around us constantly tests our strength: at work there is always a colleague who is ready to shift his responsibilities onto others, in companies there is an annoyingly frank friend, and even some friends tend to sit on our necks. But the most difficult thing to build healthy personal boundaries is in your own family.
A person is not born with ready-made boundaries. On the contrary: first the baby develops as a part of the mother’s body, and then, in the first months of life, he is in complete psychological fusion with her. Gradually, until the age of 17–20, the new person gains independence.
For a child to become a full-fledged adult, not only his efforts and time are required, but also the active assistance of his parents. But they do not always play a constructive role in this process, and sometimes they actively interfere with healthy growing up.
Toxic parents are not called toxic because we don't like them. Most of them - controlling, helpless, drinking and using violence - are united by an unconscious desire to keep the child with them at all costs in a state of codependency and submission.
Personal boundaries are a relatively new concept born out of a culture of individualism. They were widely discussed in psychology only in the 1960s–1980s. Just two or three generations ago, an extremely close-knit family, closed from external interference, was considered an excellent survival strategy, and not at all a pathology.
