I feel bad. What to do?
1. Write down on paper what you feel. Spit out your emotions on a clean sheet of paper! 2. Listen to your favorite music, but only that which evokes a positive response. Songs about unhappy love or hard rock will only worsen the condition. 3. Read! The gospel that heals the soul. Books on psychology. Poems, you can even read them out loud, loudly, with expression. Biographies of great people who suffered from despondency, but continued to live with dignity: for example, Dostoevsky. 4. Maintain a sleep schedule, no matter what. Sometimes, to feel much better, you just need to get some sleep, and the world immediately appears in a different light. 5. Avoid loneliness, especially if thoughts are spinning in your head: “I feel very bad, I want to die, I need to commit suicide,” etc. If there is no one at home, just go outside, go to a cafe, a store, or sit on a bench with your grandmothers. Call your family or a crisis hotline, even if you don't really know what to say. 6. Pray. Address the Almighty in your own words, out loud, as best you can. Ask for help, tell us about what is tormenting you. If you want, cry. Repent of your sins with all your heart, and your soul will immediately become light. God's forgiveness and grace will help you get through this difficult period.
These promises of the Lord are recorded in the Bible.
7. Sing and dance when no one sees or hears you. Even if you don't know how. Just lock yourself in a room, turn on the music and pour out your pain in your body movements and in the sounds of your voice! If you're embarrassed by your neighbors, sing while driving. 8. Don't forget to eat well! 9. Provide yourself with daily physical activity, even if you don’t have the strength or desire. An hour's walk before bed at a brisk pace, weeding the garden or flower bed in front of the entrance, visiting the gym or swimming pool. The main thing is to get your heart rate up and your muscles to get a workout. Then natural endorphins – “hormones of happiness” – will be produced in the blood. 10. Don't let guilt get the better of you. Many depressions are characterized by the fact that a person endlessly blames himself for everything - for example, laziness. At the same time, he becomes so disappointed that he remains in bed and does nothing around the house. This gives rise to an even greater feeling of guilt - it turns out to be a vicious circle. Just take one specific step - get up when your alarm clock rings. Don't demand much from yourself, start small, but be consistent in this. For example, sweep the floor in the house - you don’t need to immediately plan a grandiose cleaning, even if everything is neglected. 11. Do something small, but unusual for you. Are you withdrawn into yourself? Say hi to a stranger on the street, chat with a fellow traveler on the bus, invite guests. Take part in an activity if you struggle with shyness. Go to the cinema, museum, theater, circus. You can do it alone - what's wrong with that? An unusual action will cause a surge of strength and belief that you are able to overcome problems. 12. Cleaning. For many, this type of activity becomes a real lifeline. “When I was very bad, I could hardly engage in mental activity and seemed stupid to myself. Then I took a leave from work and just started cleaning up the mess in my apartment, which was overgrown with dirt, every day. At the same time, at first I didn’t see any changes at all, but I decided not to give up what I had started - I threw out unnecessary trash, removed cobwebs, wiped off the dust, washed the windows, stove and plumbing. In the end I saw everything shining clean. It felt like, along with the dirt and trash, I had cleared my head of obsessive thoughts.” — a man who suffered from depression shares his experience. 13. Take on simple but constant work that you won’t be able to shirk. For example, get a dog - you will have to walk it and feed it. Break up the front garden - you will have to water and weed. Or promise your grandmother to come every other day and help her around the house. Even if you are sure that you will not be able to complete it, finish what you started - soon you will see how well you are doing, and this will give you a new impetus to get out of the blues. 14. Make a to-do list - a minimum for today and what you can do later if you have the strength. Cross off what you have accomplished, praise yourself even for small successes. Break large tasks into several small ones. 15. Do not take your negative thoughts for the truth - they are just a dark glass through which your mind is now looking at the surrounding reality, distorting it. 16. Stop drinking alcohol and even medications that contain it, especially if you are taking antidepressants. This can lead to irreversible consequences! 17. If you are tormented by thoughts of suicide, be sure to tell your doctor or loved one about it. There is nothing shameful in this, it is one of the manifestations of depression that needs to be treated.
Requests for help Write your story I have been feeling very bad for the last 5 years. It’s like there’s a lump of dirt stuck in my chest and eating away at me from the inside. I haven't wanted anything for 5 years now. No sex, no work (which I simply no longer liked), watching movies, walking, talking and, in the end, living too. Every day I come to work, communicate with my workmates, pretending that everything is fine, smiling in their faces, joking with them, and when I come home, I turn on music and lie and listen. I just listen and dream of dying or being born in another century. But there is no one to tell the truth. Parents have been divorced since 2010. Relations with them are as cold as ice. My father demands a lot from me, what I don’t want, I don’t like. But I have to do it so as not to disappoint him, and in the end I still make a mistake somewhere and disappoint him. Maybe I lack love or something else that I don’t see or realize? At home too, I just stopped cleaning, I live as... well, I just live as I live. I don't care about anything. I want to scream so loudly that someone on the other side of the universe can hear. Why does it hurt so much? Why so bad? What is wrong with me? I’m 28 years old, and I feel like I’m 80. I’ll say this if it weren’t for Mom and Dad, I would have committed suicide <ed.mod.>... Lord, how bad my soul is. I would like to write so much here, but I doubt it will help me in any way, I doubt it will instill in me the spirit and strength to live on. People will read what I wrote and many will think about it. What a moron. Or they'll just sympathize with me. And I just won't care. I want to be free from life. I want to jump from a plane and just fly down with my eyes closed and know that just a couple more moments of the flight and I will be free. I have no one to complain to, no one to tell how bad I feel, no one to cry on, and this is probably sad from the point of view of a normal person. I understand that suicide is not the answer. And it won’t make it any easier for the family. But I didn’t even care about my family. I'm scared by these thoughts. This is probably the first and last time I write something on the Internet.
Sasha, age: 28 / 05/23/2017
Responses:
Hello. It seems to me that it would be right to remember when you began to have such an attitude towards life. It was five years ago - what happened to you then? Maybe some unfavorable events that affected You so much. And all this time you are struggling with their consequences. Think about it. Perhaps the reason is generally in Your work. It was at that age that he began working. The responsibilities you perform can be very exhausting. Relationships with management or team. At first glance, everything may look good, but in fact it is a source of discomfort. I know from personal experience how powerful this can be. Working in one organization, my soul was heavy all the time and I didn’t want to do anything after work. There was always something wrong with my health, despite my young age. After some time, the organization moved and I had to leave there. And, as time shows, it was right. In the place where I work now, everything is completely different. Much easier than before, emotionally. In addition, I had free time from work to help other people. And this is actually very interesting and not at all difficult. Additional motivation when you feel that you are bringing benefit to someone. Think about it, maybe you should decide to change something in your life. And then the desire and strength to live will appear.
Mikhail, age: 28/05/24/2017
Hello, Sasha. You wrote: “I want to write so much here, but it’s unlikely that it will help me in any way...” But I think that if a person has a need to express more than he says, this need must be satisfied. Perhaps it is in the unspoken words that you can understand something and find a way out of your difficult situation. I think we need to take advantage of this chance. I also realized that you have no one to talk to, try to see a psychologist, don’t isolate yourself. Happiness to you, Sasha, may a ray of light shine in your life.
Olga, age: 35 / 05/24/2017
Sasha, how come you didn’t think of seeing a doctor, a psychiatrist! It seems to me that you are suffering from depression, which means you need to treat it and recover. Your whole life is in front of you. The joy of life, the enjoyment of life will still be available to you.
Madame, age: 55 / 05/24/2017
Hello Sasha! Depression is a disease. And she needs to be treated. And it can be treated in different ways. It is imperative that you have a purpose and meaning in life. We can advise you to start your own family. According to my observations, people who get married cope with depression more easily. Or turn to God, become a Christian, this path has given many people joy and meaning in life. Or turn your attention to other people who really need help. It also gives you a desire to live when you understand that other people need you. And if all this does not suit you, then contact a psychologist or psychiatrist, it depends on the severity of your depression. But since you are in long-term depression, then you probably need to see a psychiatrist. But you have to live. We have to fight. We must win.
Arina, age: 27/05/24/2017
Dear! There is no need to be discouraged. It's difficult to advise. First of all, you are not alone. We are all living people and can lose motivation. There is a slight depression on the face. There is a positive. You are young, healthy, functioning normally - going to work, i.e. slight depression. You do not have the burden of incapacitated relatives, wife, children. This is positive, because hands are untied. For example, it’s easier for me to be lonely, and having a family is stressful. Come home from work and turn on not music, but some satirical speech, read something funny, for example. Visit your primary care physician. Find some hobby or passion. Lots of dating sites.
Kolobok, age: 47 / 05/24/2017
Hello. Sasha, it looks a lot like prolonged depression, so don’t put off visiting a psychotherapist. Take your vitamins, they will give you strength. And another piece of advice - fall in love! Start a family, every man needs care, guardianship, attention, feminine affection, and you are no exception. I think your mood will change, you can’t go against nature, as they say))) Good luck to you!
Irina, age: 29/05/24/2017
Dear Alexander, I would like to warn you that by freeing yourself from life in this way, you will not become free, since this is an unforgivable sin. Try to slowly figure out what’s wrong, try to figure out the meaning of a person’s suffering, why they are sent to him, maybe just if everything was fine, then you wouldn’t think about what you need, maybe it’s time to pay attention to what’s really important for each of us. This is to establish a relationship with God. Unfortunately, we people remember Him only when we feel bad. With the Lord in your heart, then death will be real freedom, but only when your time comes, when God decides so. And thoughts of suicide are being sent to you by the enemy of our salvation, drive them away! True freedom is in the Lord, because He is the Truth. I hope my message will help you, don’t give up, and then you will see how wonderful life is) I also had such a terrible state, I understand what you mean... but if you don’t give up, then everything will start to get better, look for the main thing this very Truth, get to know it... Take care of yourself. *** Life is beautiful in all its images: Speaking in everyday prose; In the descriptions of poets, figurative; In black clouds and in pink clouds... And she rushes - madly!.. Strikes with blows - crushingly! So that we forget to live sublimely... So that life is painful for all of us! I will make every effort, To touch eternity with my heart, To make life sparkle with its edges, Taking me into the world of infinity!
incognito, age: 26/05/24/2017
Sasha, there is always a reason for such a state: sometimes these are somatic reasons, sometimes it is an event for which you suppressed feelings, drove them inside yourself and it seems that you survived, but it comes out in the form of such an unwillingness to be. Maybe you do a lot of things that you don’t feel like doing. It’s good that you wrote here - this is at least some step to help yourself. When you can’t figure out the reasons, it’s best to consult a psychologist (not just anyone, by recommendation). It is clear that you have such a need. Normally, a person should be happy - this is his normal state. I wish you to find yourself again, the one who smiles when you wake up in the morning.
Anna, age: 36 / 05/24/2017
Great, why are you depressed? I read your letter and you can’t even imagine what a happy person you are. Let's break it down: 1. Your health is good 2. You have a job, you have income 3. You have family and friends 5. You are young, you can outshine everyone Here I have listed your main wealth. You're a grown guy, oddly enough, people have times when they want to die. So, I’ll tell you this is your life and only you can fix it, become happy. Stop becoming despondent, because despondency is also a human sin. Just get out of this state with the help of God and start living without looking back. What will help you is faith. You don’t need anyone to cry, all the strength and faith is already in you. Talk to God, because He is always with us. Ask for help, repent, start thanking and I’m sure changes will begin in a good direction. Everything is temporary, be patient and grateful, my brother. Happiness to you.
Just a guy, age: 23/05/24/2017
Hello Sasha! I'm very, very glad you posted here! And I’m glad that I saw it too and can write to you. The most important thing I want to ask you is to try, if you don’t accept it, then understand: either we control our thoughts, or they control us. When I accepted the second option, I felt about the same as you. Therefore, let me tell you WHAT NOT TO DO, so that you don’t get scared by your thoughts later. 1. Try not to listen to music while thinking about something. No matter how strange this advice may seem, it is very important. If you don’t go deep into medical terms, but to put it simply, then you are simply “twisting” yourself, cultivating a state in yourself that is then so difficult to recover from and so difficult to control. 2. No matter how pointless it may seem, do some things. In fact, this is also a good way to take a break from heavy thoughts. Moreover, when we understand that we are useful to someone (and you can help your parents), strength appears for other things that are useful to you directly - communication, walks, sports. 3. Communicate! Communicate!!Communicate!!! Treat communication as a cure for your condition: take (for now) twice a day))) That is, in the first half of the day you talked to someone, and in the second. 4. I could be wrong a thousand times, I’m sorry if that’s what you think, but such despondency can be due to a lack of understanding, acceptance, non-judgment, faith in the best in you, sincere support. Even one word can give all this, if it is from the heart and sincere - perhaps it’s worth looking for a psychologist, if not face-to-face, then at least on the Internet, you can find a free one. And you’re unlikely to go wrong if you talk to the priest - in any Orthodox church church (this is from personal experience, this moment in my recently hopeless life was key). 5. Watch videos about compassion. It’s so easy to google it - it’s difficult to explain what happens when you approach this topic, even passively. 6. Know about yourself that you are a good person. Know this firmly, and when doubting yourself: to do or not to do, say to yourself: “I will do as a good person would do.” 7. Don’t even doubt that this condition will pass! It is not necessary that all problems will suddenly disappear, but you will definitely be able and in the mood to solve them and at the same time enjoy life! Often only hormones are to blame for depression - so maybe this aspect is also worth thinking about? Hold on!!! Everything will definitely get better!
Natalia, age: 35 / 05/24/2017
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I feel bad. main reason
Don't neglect God's help. When your strength is running low, remember the One who created you. God is love. He can and wants to help you; you were not created to suffer, but to fulfill a special purpose on Earth. You are unique, and there is no other person like you on the planet and there never will be. The Bible says we are created in the image and likeness of God. The devil hates God, but is not able to harm Him. Therefore, Satan takes revenge on the Creator by attacking His image – us, people.
Make peace with God, ask Him for protection!
Live communication with God
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How to help someone experiencing mental pain
The first is to try to talk to him, calm him down and try to assess the severity of mental suffering. Sincere empathy can ease the “mental anguish.”
If during a conversation it turns out that mental pain has arisen recently and can be fully explained by external reasons (there is a real loss of something or someone significant), then you should distract with conversation, try to put the person to sleep, rest and sleep should bring relief. In such cases, you can follow the rule “TIME HEALS”.
If it is clear that the “pain in the soul” is prolonged, accompanied by weight loss, insomnia, and suicidal thoughts, then you should not wait, but consult a psychiatrist to assess the condition. If the situation allows, arrange a consultation with a psychiatrist either in a clinic, or invite a doctor to your home. In extreme cases, call emergency medical services.
What to do when it's really bad?
Everything that happens in our lives is evaluated. Good or bad.
Everything works out at work, you do interesting things, you are thanked for it in every sense - good. You have long ceased to understand what you are doing here, your work seems to be needed, but you are taken for granted - bad.
If you look at good and bad from a distance, as if you don’t care, then good and bad will look like the directions of a car navigator. If you are driving along a given route, the navigator is silent or “says”: “keep moving.”
If you are going the wrong way, he “screams” in a nasty voice, “you have gone off the route. Turn left or right." Then the assessment of good or bad for any events in life can be taken as a valuable indication. Of course, it’s more pleasant when the indication is “good”.
How can you accept a situation when the stakes are overwhelming? Theoretically, the idea is the same, to understand what the navigator is pointing to. Almost in a state where there are enemies on all sides, the head works in a different mode. What is there to understand, there would be time to fight back.
The most useful thing here would be to talk to someone about your “everything is bad.” The best option is with a close friend or someone you can trust. And it won’t hurt to relieve tension either. Favorite activity, relaxation, just a drink and sleep, anything that helps you relax. And then, back into battle, until you understand what the navigator is “screaming” about, he will not calm down.
And how, for example, should I be in such a situation, like I understand the signals of the navigator, I don’t sit in a certain place and don’t grieve, but I do something, change it in my life, but still life is somehow not the same as I would like. Here, most likely the matter is in the “section of the map” on which you walk. A section of the map is everything that should surround you.
For example, there is no sea on the map, but you need it. Therefore, the feeling of life is not the same. No matter where you turn, there is no sea nearby. Great, then we need to look for the sea. You need a normal job, let’s say you have defined the concept of normal for yourself, for example it could be the size of the salary, interest, the opportunity to develop. What really matters to you.
Great, now all that's left is to find a job (at sea). And there can be any number of such things in your life. It’s good if you have identified them and, at least in your dreams, imagined which card you like. If you don’t see the entire map, then it’s okay, the navigator just won’t offer you routes to unknown places on the map.
OK. Let’s say you’ve learned to negotiate with the navigator, you’ve also figured out the map, but you’re still not happy. Then it's most likely a matter of meaning. What's the point in what you're doing. Do you really like it or is this normal? Do you want to do this further? Do you happily talk about your work or profession, or do you just answer routinely? How often do people thank you for your work?
Meaning is your inner truth. How important and necessary to you is what you do, who and where you work. And if you are at odds with the meaning, then it is worth looking for. Perhaps your case will be mild and all you need to do is change your job or profession. Or maybe life is throwing you a real challenge and everything is much more serious. And I wish you patience and courage to continue your search and find your meaning. Everything will work out!
Author: Denis Rodionov
