The transitional age begins at about 11 years old and ends at 17, so most teenagers 13-14 years old are just experiencing its “equator”. By this time, almost all the delights of puberty have already appeared. But don’t let your guard down and assume that you have already studied your son or daughter in a new role. Children continue to change, grow up, and face new challenges. Only one thing remains the same: the more trust remains between you and the child, the easier it will be to go through this difficult part of the path.
Content:
- Age characteristics of children aged 13-14 years Development of girls
- Features of the development of boys
- Emotional development
Age characteristics of children aged 13-14 years
The main changes in the body of children of secondary school age are associated with puberty:
- Active manifestation of secondary sexual characteristics (growth of body hair, formation of a gender-specific figure, change in voice, enlargement of breasts in girls and external genitalia in boys). Hormonal changes.
- Growth of muscles and skeleton (especially vertebrae and tubular bones of the limbs).
- Loss of coordination (the nervous system does not have time to adapt to changes in the body).
- Increased appetite.
The normal pulse in thirteen-year-old adolescents is 75 beats/min (normal range is from 55 to 95), blood pressure is from 110/70 to 120/80 mm Hg. Art.
Girls development
In girls, development at the age of 13 is approximately 2 years ahead of the development of boys of the same age. Despite this, body growth tends to slow down. Breasts increase in size and the need to use tops and bras arises. Many people have already started their periods and have established a menstrual cycle. Parents should pay attention to its regularity and the girl’s well-being during menstruation. If the cycle lasts less than 21 days or more than 35 days, the discharge is very scanty or profuse, accompanied by severe pain, fainting, you need to contact a gynecologist for consultation.
You must continue to monitor your weight gain and growth rate.
Table of height and weight of girls at 13 years old
| ⠀ | Below normal | Short | Lower limit of normal | Norm | Upper limit of normal | High | Above normal |
| Height (cm) | ˂143,0 | 143,0-148,3 | 148,3-151,8 | 151,8-159,8 | 159,8-163,7 | 163,7-168,0 | ˃168,0 |
| Weight, kg) | ˂32,0 | 32,0-38,7 | 38,7-43,0 | 43,0-52,5 | 52,5-59,0 | 59,0-69,0 | ˃69,0 |
Features of the development of boys
The increase in body size in boys begins to outpace girls. On the face, vellus hair in the mustache area becomes more noticeable (the beard appears later). The voice continues to change and “break”. Some teenagers are already experiencing wet dreams.
Table of height and weight of boys at 13 years old
| ⠀ | Below normal | Short | Lower limit of normal | Norm | Upper limit of normal | High | Above normal |
| Height (cm) | ˂141,8 | 141,8-145,7 | 145,7-149,8 | 149,8-160,6 | 160,6-166,0 | 166,0-170,7 | ˃170,7 |
| Weight, kg) | ˂30,9 | 30,9-33,8 | 33,8-38,0 | 38,0-50,6 | 50,6-56,8 | 56,8-66,0 | ˃66,0 |
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How much should a thirteen-year-old child sleep and eat?
A thirteen-year-old should sleep 8-9 hours a day. Parents need to ensure that studying, going out with friends, playing computer games and other activities do not violate this rule. An irregular sleep-wake schedule causes chronic fatigue, which can affect both health and school performance.
A child’s body is actively growing and rebuilding, so it needs nutritious, regular nutrition. During the day, a teenager should eat 4-5 times (three main meals and 1-2 snacks). It is advisable to eat the most high-calorie dishes in the first half of the day, and dinner, on the contrary, should be light and easily digestible.
Daily physiological need for energy and nutrients in thirteen-year-old children:
- for boys: approximately 2750 kcal (depending on the level of physical activity), 93 g protein (including 56 g animal protein), 93 g fat, 370 g carbohydrates;
- for girls: about 2500 kcal (depending on the level of physical activity), 85 g of protein (including 51 g of animal protein), 85 g of fat, 340 g of carbohydrates.
Parents of girls should pay attention to changes in eating behavior associated with the menstrual cycle. Before the onset of menstruation and during menstruation, many girls have an increased craving for sweets or other certain foods. If your daughter happily eats a chocolate bar in one sitting, you need to remind her of the consequences (for example, weight gain, which many women already gain before menstruation). Replace unhealthy foods with healthy ones (fresh and dried fruits, dairy products).
Word from mentalar
It's time to make sure your child has the skills he or she will need to thrive as a teenager. If they lack social skills, their struggles may become especially problematic when they enter high school.
Actively look for areas where your child may need help honing skills. Provide additional support by teaching, guiding, and practicing together. If your support doesn't have any impact, consider seeking professional help.
What should a thirteen-year-old child know and be able to do?
At the age of 13, a teenager can:
- Keep order in the house and your room without reminders.
- Take care of your own appearance and maintain hygiene.
- Help adults (housework, caring for younger children in the family).
- Handle money.
- Prepare simple meals.
- Communicate culturally with peers and elders.
- Act correctly in emergency situations.
- Navigate the terrain in your city (district).
Responsibilities in the family and rights of a child at 13 years old
Children at this age are required to receive an education. For their part, parents must create all the necessary conditions for this, as well as a favorable environment for development, interests, and active participation in the life of society.
Minors are obliged:
- obey parents (in the absence of signs of violation of the rules for treating children), take care of family property, fulfill requests, clean up after yourself;
- comply with the rules of conduct at school and other institutions.
At the age of thirteen, children are not yet subject to criminal liability (responsibility for crimes rests with parents or adoptive parents, guardians).
Children have the right to protection, respect, expression, and the right to:
- know your parents, communicate with them and other relatives;
- live and be raised in a family;
- have a last name, first name, patronymic.
Taming the Shrew Girl
Girls who do not have the right to their own personal “no” at home begin to actively protest in public.
Unfortunately, it is better to sort things out within the walls of the house than to bring the problem to public attention. And parents need to be patient during this period, this must be overcome, this is the first tangible signal of growing up. And obedient father's and mother's daughters remain infantile for the rest of their lives.
Adolescence crisis often leads to deviant behavior
The adolescence period in children exists for the purpose of developing the necessary immunity for life - to try a lot in order to make the right choice. This is a period when children experience disappointment in their parents and there is misunderstanding. It is then that the basic life values are created that accompany a person throughout his life.
Teenagers try to do everything against the will of their parents, actively expressing their contrived independence.
Teenagers need to be patient during puberty.
Parents will have to be patient during this period. During this period, a teenager experiences a hidden need for approval and support from his parents. It is during this period that adolescents experience low self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-evaluation, and low self-worth.
Psychology of a child at 13 years old
Parents need to take into account that at the age of 13 teenagers:
- hot-tempered;
- suspicious, receptive (to words, views, actions);
- unsure of themselves (and therefore trying to assert themselves);
Boys and girls at this age choose role models for themselves, who are often perceived as idols. An important task for parents is to know who their children are trying to imitate, since this example can be both positive and negative, and even dangerous.
For most modern teenagers, preferences, tastes and social circles are almost completely reflected in their behavior on the Internet.
Emotional development
Emotional instability and sudden mood swings are a faithful companion of adolescence. To help cope with such surges:
- A change of scenery.
- Walk.
- Physical exercise.
- Sources of positive emotions (funny movie, get-togethers with friends, outdoor recreation).
- Creation.
- Eliminating irritants.
If a child is depressed for a long time, often cries, withdraws into himself, it is necessary (but unobtrusively!) to find out the problem, talk about it and try to distract him (go to the park, cinema, arrange a family vacation in nature). Do not ignore the teenager’s negative emotions and do not judge - misunderstanding will force him to experience everything “inside”, and this can lead to dangerous consequences.
Other milestones
Many 12-year-olds begin to learn the mores of their peer group. So don't be surprised if your 12-year-old announces that he wants to move on to a new lifestyle to live like his friend's family, or that he wants to learn a new religion.
Learning about morality is a normal part of the developmental process. 3 So while it's important to explain your morals and set rules that promote morality in your home, don't worry too much when your child says he doesn't agree with your beliefs.
When to worry
Physical and emotional development don't always go hand in hand as a child grows into a teenager. Don't worry if your child doesn't seem emotionally ready for the activities that others his age are doing, or vice versa.
Stay in touch with your teen's emotional state to be aware of mental health issues, such as depression, that may arise during this time. 4 Although some moodiness is normal, concerns about a 12-year-old child's health and mental well-being should be discussed with a pediatrician or mental health provider.
If you have concerns about your teen's academic life, such as their inability to keep up in class, make an appointment with the teacher. They often have resources that can help you and can offer ideas you might not have considered.
Cognitive development: memory, attention, speech
The speech of thirteen-year-olds is practically no different from that of an adult. If problems with pronunciation of sounds have not disappeared by this age, you need to contact a speech therapist. Children are already excellent at operating with abstract concepts, analyzing, identifying and explaining cause-and-effect relationships.
In groups of teenagers, obscene words and slang are often actively used, so parents need to monitor the culture of communication in the family, setting a good example.
Good memory and concentration are necessary for successful studies and harmonious development of a teenager. Every day he has to perceive and process a large amount of information. The following will help to activate your child’s mental development:
- Reading (besides the school curriculum).
- Mind games.
- Leisure.
- Hobby.
- Participation in competitions and competitions.
First manifestations of personality
The most important thing here depends not on how the teenager studies at school, but on the ways in which he can establish himself in his own yard. The teenager begins to actively defend his positions in the classroom and in the yard. The main activity during this period is communication. His future position in society depends on how he establishes himself among his peers. He spends more and more time with his peers. A redistribution of roles in society begins, nerds do not receive due respect, and roles in society begin to be distributed into leaders, scapegoats, and neutrals. They are driven by the desire to gain recognition from their peers, to be like them, but at the same time they want to stand out among them.
Children of this age exhibit confrontation when collaborating with adults, which leads to many incidents during interactions. The opinion of other guys about the teenager is the main motivating force for further work on oneself. Boys begin to assert themselves through friendships with older teenagers, using slang, smoking, provocative clothing, being rude, acting silly, or being excessively helpful to someone stronger.
Teenagers are starting to buy to appear more mature.
Advice to parents: at this time it is very important for you to rebuild your relationship with your grown-up children from parental authority, universal obedience, to friendly, partnership relations.
Otherwise, you shouldn’t expect anything from your children except eternal confrontation and war. Adults must show sensitivity and caution in their actions; they must avoid thoughtless outbursts of anger and aggression towards their child, even if he himself inflamed the conflict due to differences in views. When helping your child cope with difficulties, do not scold the offenders, but try to find out why he found himself in such a situation.
The main thing is to establish a trusting relationship with your teenager.
The greatest comfort during this period will be felt in children who grew up in families where children are spared from excessive parental care; warmth and understanding are felt in relationships, along with clear, jointly worked out rules, and strict control over their implementation.
Parents have the right to control their child's choice of profession and extracurricular activities, and aesthetic preferences can come from peers. Leave it to them. And under no circumstances put yourself above your child, avoid arrogance when communicating with him, then it will be much easier to survive this period. leave a comment
Raising thirteen year olds: possible problems
Children at the age of 13 are increasingly interested in adult life. If you have been able to maintain a trusting relationship at this point, your daughter or son will more often ask questions about work, family, and various phenomena in society. Be sure to develop the conversation, give examples, explain.
Do not ignore questions, even uncomfortable ones - the child will still look for answers to them, and outside the family he may receive information that will harm him.
Moreover, if in a conversation you indicate what is right and what is wrong, you must definitely argue your point of view (and not just say “because it should be so”). Otherwise, the teenager simply will not take what you say seriously.
Teenagers tend to divide everything into “black” and “white,” without intermediate options: “The teacher scolded me today, that’s why he’s bad.” The child hangs “labels” on others on the wave of his emotions. When discussing each situation, you need to show your son or daughter that all events have their own causes and consequences . And that the reason for people’s unfavorable attitude towards him is often his own behavior (the same unlearned homework and disrupted lessons). If conflicts happen systematically with one of the adults, be sure to figure out the situation - whether the child is really to blame or whether he was treated with prejudice and without understanding.
The teenager tries to create his own style of communication, tries to joke and be witty. If his jokes are not very funny, you should not criticize sharply, this can offend the child and increase self-doubt.
Support any enthusiasm of your son or daughter aimed at useful and good deeds. If a child wants to have a family holiday, help organize it. If he wants to take up a new hobby or sport, sign him up for classes unless there is a compelling reason not to.
The child continues to get acquainted with the world of professions, and you need to help with this. Remind him of the value of knowledge, skills and the very desire for self-development. Remember to praise your academic successes and respond to mistakes with restraint.
Many adults find it difficult to choose the right approach to a capricious and impudent teenager. Strict prohibitions and restrictions often have the exact opposite effect. Therefore, at this time, understanding and restraining emotions when resolving conflicts is more important than ever. If problems become threatening (a teenager tries to run away from home, harm himself, completely ignores his family and studies), it is worth seeking help from a competent psychologist.
Useful tips for parents
- Do not resist the manifestations of their emotions . In order not to lose contact with children at a time of emotional instability, when they react to everything excessively violently and defiantly, and can throw tantrums when prohibited, one must not resist the manifestations of their emotions. After an outburst that finds no barriers, children are ready for a constructive conversation, since they do not feel opposition from adults and the need to fight for interests. They realize that a calm conversation with reasoned arguments gives much more.
- A place of freedom. Control over children's lives should be weakened in a number of areas. You should not strictly dictate what clothes to wear (you can only express your opinion, but without using guilt-inducing words: “well,” “your business,” “as you wish,” and “I don’t like it”). For example, if you want to convince your growing daughter that the dress she has chosen does not suit her, it is better to do this by explaining that it hides her strengths and creates the effect of non-existent shortcomings.
- Adequate assessment of appearance. Parents should not underestimate or overestimate the external data of their children. Both will cause complexes. We should not point out shortcomings, but should show the teenager in a gentle manner what weaknesses he has in his appearance, and how they can be hidden or even turned into advantages, characterizing them as an individual feature.
