Why does cheating on your wife excite you? What to do?

First signs
Delays at work.
Feelings, appearance, mood
Physiology and sex of a cheater
Bottom line

When a husband begins to cheat, the wife is the last to know about it. And when a wife starts cheating, the husband may not even know about it. This is explained by the difference in psychology, when men are inattentive to their own spouses and do not pay attention to the nuances. Men are more focused on work, while women are more interested in family, children and the mood of all household members. However, if the husband pays attention to the signs that indicate that his wife is cheating, then he may notice that she is behaving unusually.

The men's site masculino.ru suggests that there are readers who have no idea that they are being cheated on. However, there are men who are already beginning to suspect something, but just don’t understand whether to pay attention to it or not. Psychologists give the only advice: if you are just guessing and starting to doubt your spouse’s fidelity, then do nothing except find out irrefutable evidence of her betrayal. Do not accuse your wife of anything until you know for sure that she is betraying. In the meantime, you only have doubts, they may turn out to be groundless.

There are many signs by which you can understand that your wife is cheating. A lot changes in a woman’s behavior, appearance and even mood. An inattentive man will not even pay attention to the fact that his wife has transformed, is glowing with joy and is going somewhere often. But an attentive husband will definitely note that something is happening to his wife.

One of the signs that a wife is cheating is a change in her behavior. It can change in one of two ways:

The wife completely forgot about her husband, children and home. For example, she may stop doing household chores: cooking, washing, cleaning. She seems to be always busy with something, and these things are outside the home. She is no longer interested in her husband, although literally a few months ago she blew his mind for any reason. She walks around joyful or lost in her thoughts, not interested in how her household looks at her.
The wife seems to be atoning for sins. She serves her husband, constantly indulges him and does not contradict him in anything. She always tries to be good in everything, which has never been seen before.

Of course, a change in the wife's behavior should definitely be noticed by the husband. It is not necessary that the wife will betray, which will change her behavior. It may turn out that the woman received a salary increase or she learned some good news. It also happens that over the years a person changes his worldview on certain things. If your marriage lasts for a very long time, then it is quite possible that your wife has simply changed her views on some things. However, it is never too late to check her fidelity, because remember that women rarely admit to cheating, but they are very skillful in playing certain roles.

Wife and another man through the eyes of her husband

When a husband brings his lover to his wife and asks her to cheat on her, it usually scares women. The institution of marriage and family is collapsing in their eyes; they consider such actions to be perversions. But is it? What motivates a man to do this:

There is a lot of erotic content on the Internet where a wife cheats with her lover. Some men, after watching these stories, become excited and fantasize about carrying out the plot of adultery in reality. Being an observer of their spouse's lovemaking is simply a way for them to satisfy their sexual needs.
Some husbands may witness their wife's infidelity, and suddenly the man gets excited and wants to continue. As a result, he asks his wife to repeat the sinful act on condition that she observes. The unfaithful wife was simply lucky in this case: the marriage was saved and the lover was allowed.

When a man experiences such fantasies, it is usually due to the fact that he had concomitant psychological trauma in childhood. It is possible that his own mother did not pay attention to the boy and often abandoned him. Confidence in the female gender as a whole has been undermined. And already an adult man sees in every woman, especially in his wife, a traitor. These thoughts are in the subconscious. On the surface, the imagination paints erotic pictures of how he, as a husband, allowed his wife to cheat with another. Betrayal occurs as if with his permission, which makes the spouse the master of the situation. And so that it doesn’t hurt so much, the brain sends a command to get excited.

Another reason for this husband’s behavior may be his increasing sexual impotence. The husband pushes his wife into the arms of another for fear of not satisfying her in bed. He gets excited at the thought that she feels good. These men apparently have no sense of ownership at all.

You shouldn’t think that husbands who are turned on by their wife’s infidelity are themselves dishonest. Rather, on the contrary, they love their significant other very much and will never cheat on themselves. They like to watch from the sidelines.

Deep down, such men understand that lusting after a wife’s infidelity is wrong and contrary to the socially accepted attitude towards marriage. This moral swing brings them deep mental suffering. Husbands have to rush from side to side until the wife agrees to cheating. It is ideal for them when a woman has accepted such an extraordinary family life and supports games for three. But what to do if your beloved is not delighted with the proposed experiments? The following tips will tell you how to overcome your unusual inclinations and return to traditional family values:

You need to understand that a wife is the closest person who should not be shared with someone else, especially in bed. If the proposal about a possible lover upset her, there is no need to push. Turn your words into a joke or clearly explain why you wanted your spouse to cheat.
If the wife did not cheat herself, then there is no need to present her as a traitor. Not all women are the same. Many of them are faithful and respect their husbands.
A visit to a psychologist will help you pull out childhood traumas from the depths of your soul, play them out and resolve the problem once and for all. Unfortunately, in our country, going to a specialist for mental problems is perceived as something abnormal and even funny. Don't give a damn about public opinion and move towards your goal.
Problems with potency should be resolved by the attending physician, and not by searching for a gentleman for an unsatisfied wife.

Know that there are no unsolvable problems. The main thing is not to stand in one place and try to save your own family.

How to make your wife cheat?

Most women do not want to cheat on their spouse when they get married. Nature endowed girls with monogamy, making raising offspring a priority. Pregnancy, childbirth, raising a child to a more or less independent age is a long process, without the support of a man (breadwinner, breadwinner, guard) in ancient times it was impossible to complete the task.

Centuries-old upbringing, which condemns the wife’s infidelity, added to the fidelity. Traitors in many countries faced death and serious injury. Modern society is loyal to husbands who walk to the left, but a lady who has a lover will hear unpleasant epithets to her face and behind her back.

However, with effort, even the most faithful, loving, exemplary spouse can be driven to adultery, you will need:

Firmly realize that the wife is the property of her husband, she will not go anywhere. Try to convey the fact by any available means, including in direct text (look in the mirror, who needs you, be glad that I married you at all).
Compare her with other women (Dimina Olya is more beautiful, slimmer, more successful, Our accountant, Verochka, is so smart, not like you. Mom’s borscht has nothing in common with your slop).
Ignore your spouse's needs. Need boots? Let her earn money and buy it herself. Which salons, this case cannot be corrected.
Stop paying attention. Flowers, snacks, trips to the park, a restaurant, a movie – these are forbidden areas. In a hopeless situation, you need to mention (come up with) details of independently visiting interesting places for official reasons.
Frankly admire the ladies passing by, provoke flirtation, give out compliments.
Refuse intimacy under any pretext , declare that the wife has lost her attractiveness, has ceased to excite her, focus on physical defects (excess or lack of weight, stretch marks, cellulite, sagging skin). When it was not possible to avoid sex, you should ignore foreplay, care only about personal satisfaction, and after the process silently turn away and leave. No kisses, hugs, tender words.
Share children. When a child brings good grades or takes a prize at the Olympics, be sure to say: “My son!” When grades leave much to be desired, emphasize the wife’s failure as a mother and teacher, reminding that this is “her son!”
Show constant unreasonable jealousy , suspicion, checking your phone, email;
Appearance. Loungewear is not a reason to spend money; we wear out everything that is lying around in the closet: the notorious sweatpants, stretched T-shirts, alcoholic T-shirts, holey socks and panties (an excellent reason to reproach a cross-armed slacker). Shower, shaving, deodorants should be left for going out.
Irritating factors. Loud music in the evenings, friends with beer, baking bread until the morning will speed up the process.
Protected area. Home is not a place for girlfriends and in-laws; let him meet them outside. A good way to “get on with” your friends is to flirt with them, shower Masha and Katya with praise after leaving.

What should a wife do if her husband persuades him to have sex with someone else?

We will divide the spouse’s proposals to have a lover and watch this action into two options. In the first case, the wife’s betrayal of her husband has already taken place. In the second, the husband just started to move towards sex on the side. Let's consider both positions:

Something terrible happened, your husband found you in bed with someone else. Having tuned in to the scandal, you heard an offer to repeat the betrayal. What to do in this case?

If you are satisfied with the state of things, that is, the presence of a lover and a husband who is excited by watching your adultery, then the questions disappear by themselves. However, a concern is brewing: will the spouse change his attitude to the situation?

Call your husband for a frank conversation. Find out and better describe all the conditions for the future relationship of husband, wife and lover. Get a formal agreement signed by your spouse. Promises are promises, and a receipt will help in possible conflict situations.

If such erotic stories are unacceptable for you, do not force yourself. You can refuse your husband by scolding him for his perverted thoughts. If he continues to make indecent hints, then you can act cunningly like a woman. Do you read romance novels or watch intriguing series on TV? Write him a story where you and, for example, a handsome neighbor play the leading role. Let him, with his ears open, be excited to his heart's content. And you will be pure and blameless in fact.

Watch films together with erotic themes of this kind. Discuss all the most exciting episodes. Many men, by the way, dream of watching porn with their wife. And in general, have sex more often. Then your spouse will not have time to imagine you in the arms of someone else.

Few women love pathological jealous people and can build long-term relationships with them, but the indifference of men also acts in a similarly destructive way. Some girls even have to deal with the unusual desire of a partner when he wants a woman to cheat on him. Unfortunately, there are many more such provocateurs than those experiencing jealousy. This behavior can be explained by the syndrome of provoked betrayal.

With provoked infidelity syndrome, a man experiences sexual arousal at the thought of his regular partner having sex with another. This strange behavior is most often observed in middle-aged men. Usually they begin to push a woman to cheat after 7-10 years of marriage. At first they make subtle hints about their unusual desires, and then they may openly ask or even demand to have sex with someone else.

What are the 12 secret words that can quickly make a man fall in love?

What is the secret of these words? Press the button and watch the video to the end.

For a man with provoked betrayal syndrome, not only the fact of betrayal is important, but also a detailed report on the actions taken. Having experienced this themselves, many women do not know what to do, and even begin to invent non-existent stories about their sexual relationships on the side, after which their husband noticeably cheers up. But as soon as you admit to deception, the husband’s mercy gives way to anger, which affects future relationships.

With provoked infidelity syndrome, men are distinguished by their fidelity and are often impeccable family men. Classic cheaters, on the contrary, will under no circumstances allow such behavior from their significant other and will diligently protect her from the views of strangers.

Provoked betrayal syndrome is a type of masochism. It occurs in men suffering from an inferiority complex and with severe self-doubt. If a man is self-confident and independent, he will never want to be deceived in his life and will not enjoy his experiences after learning about the betrayal. Partners who try to force their girlfriends to sleep with others often have high sexuality and are excellent lovers, but this does not add to their self-confidence.

If a man allows his wife to cheat, this does not always mean that he is complex. The reason for this behavior, in addition to the syndrome of provoked betrayal, may be the following reasons:

Age difference. The man is much older than his wife and is afraid that he will soon stop satisfying her in bed. In order to somehow relieve the tension, he starts talking about how betrayal is quite acceptable in their relationship, although he is afraid of it. Over time, he simply becomes a slave to his own fears.
Physiological problems. At a relatively young age, the husband developed problems with potency, and he is afraid to tell his partner, and he is afraid to go to the doctor to cope with the problem. In order to somehow keep the girl and not tell her about his secret, he tries to persuade her to cheat with another guy.
Child psychological trauma. As a child, a man suffered humiliation from women, therefore, even as an adult, he does not trust girls and is constantly waiting for betrayal. As a result, he is so afraid of losing his beloved that he suggests cheating on her.
Cooled down feelings. After living together for a long time, a man began to perceive his wife as a second mother, and in order to return erotic attraction, he strives to make her image more carnal and down-to-earth. To do this, he can imagine that she cheated on him.

A husband's fantasies about his wife's infidelity should under no circumstances become a stimulus to action. Such thoughts occur only to weak and complex men, and their implementation will not lead to anything good. A woman needs to sensibly assess the situation and try to save the marriage. This behavior of the husband should be perceived as a phobia that must be fought.

Every attempt by the husband to relieve tension by pushing his wife to cheat only makes the situation worse. If a man loves his wife, he begins to work himself up even more, which leads to regular scandals, and the logical conclusion of this scenario is complete separation. You can break this vicious circle by following simple tips:

You shouldn't cheat on your partner. A woman must prove to him that she only likes him - the one and only. You need to expand your circle of acquaintances and start communicating with more people, but at the same time pay attention only to him.
It is necessary to diversify your sex life. Role-playing games are perfect for this, they will help a woman get into any role. A robe, slippers and curlers are unlikely to excite a man.
Periodically create scenes of jealousy. In moderate doses, jealousy can flatter vanity: this way a woman will show that she appreciates him and considers him attractive to others.
Tell your husband about your plans to have many children. A mother with many children is unlikely to be able to leave for someone else and cheat, and her husband’s fears will be able to disappear, even for a short period.

It is important for a man to feel needed, unique and loved - then his strange fantasies will go away on their own. After all, in fact, he does not dream of any betrayal of his wife. He needs a faithful and devoted partner who will not give herself to another under any circumstances.

You shouldn’t be surprised, but you can also hear proposals to change from jealous people. With a normal feeling of jealousy, a man will never allow his partner to cheat, and if this does happen, a breakup is inevitable.

Pathological jealous people are convinced in advance that a woman is cheating, but with obsessive confidence, it is impossible to convince them otherwise. They provoke their wife to commit adultery or at least confess to it in order to be convinced of their suspicions. If a woman begins to invent stories about imaginary adventures “to the left” or actually cheats, then it will be difficult to avoid negative situations.

Women need to pay attention to their partner’s behavior and be wary of any verbal threats, violence in any form, or ambiguous statements implying reprisals against the wife and imaginary lover. In cases of pronounced delirium, a man may begin to prepare a weapon. These are all signs of mental illness.

If you are delirious of jealousy, you should not even try to please your partner: he will still not be happy with everything. It is worth knowing that delusions of jealousy do not arise in one day, but consistently develop in an increasing manner. At the first signs of this condition, you should contact a specialist involved in the psychology of family life.

Some jealous people push a woman to cheat in order to test her feelings. Such men can spend years persuading a loved one to be intimate with a friend in order to eventually become convinced that their loved one has no feelings and break up with her. Others really have not felt anything for their wife for a long time and are not averse to leaving, but for this they need a reason.

An unusual desire for a wife’s infidelity should under no circumstances be carried out and follow the provocateur’s lead - in reality, no husband will be happy about his wife’s infidelity. If a mentally ill person appears nearby and experiences sexual pleasure from this, it is worth treating him or breaking off all ties with him.

What are the 12 secret words that can quickly make a man fall in love?

What is the secret of these words? Press the button and watch the video to the end.

It is not easy to live with a husband who does not leave his wife unattended for a minute. But the woman from whom her precious husband is unlikely to be happy.

What pushes a man – an owner by nature – to take such an unexpected step? It’s still the same jealousy, says Doctor of Medical Sciences, sexologist Sergei Agarkov.

This is Love

The inclination of a sexual partner to commit adultery is usually called the syndrome of provoked infidelity. It is believed that the provocateur experiences sexual arousal by fantasizing about this topic or listening to a partner’s detailed “report” from the scene of the event. People with such unusual behavior are most often middle-aged men. As a rule, they begin to push their spouse to cheat after 5-10 years of marriage. At first, barely noticeable timid hints appear, which can then develop into direct persuasion and even demands to make love with another man. Not only does the woman have to do this, she also has to account for it.

Confused wives don't know what to think. Some especially loving and faithful people even begin to compose non-existent stories and notice that, after listening to their tales, their loved one noticeably becomes more cheerful. But as soon as “Scheherazade”, tired of pretense, admits to deception, she will inevitably face the wrath of her husband, or even excommunication from the marital bed.

You might think that he is indifferent to his wife and uses her only as an impersonal sexual object, but this is not so. On the contrary, he vitally needs this woman, and he is terrified of losing her. (Men in general, more than women, tend to treat a loved one as their property and an extension of themselves, which is why unhealthy jealousy is more often observed among them.) The fear of a breakup for such a person is so painful that he, voluntarily or unwittingly, forces his wife to do what he wants. what he is afraid of - simply in order to relieve unbearable tension. We must give him his due; he uses a fairly competent psychotherapeutic technique - repeated replaying of a frightening situation. It is known that there is nothing heavier than the fear of waiting, and when “the worst” has already happened, you can relax a little. Hence the sexual inspiration: a man is aroused not by the fact of his wife’s betrayal, but by the joy of “feeling better.” Now it is clear what wives who persist in their fidelity are depriving provocateur husbands. Although these husbands themselves are usually impeccable, it is in vain that some suspect them of trying to “balance” their own infidelity.

Classic cheaters do not allow their wives anything “like that”, and provocations are carried out by those who for some reason themselves cannot or do not want to cheat.

Complexes are to blame

We can say that the syndrome of provoked betrayal is a type of psychological masochism, but this masochism is of a secondary nature. It is based on a deep inferiority complex and excessive self-doubt. This applies to all pathological jealous people in general and to provocateurs of betrayal in particular. (An independent and self-confident person is self-sufficient and certainly does not need to imagine being deceived or savoring his experiences if this actually happened.) However, it is interesting that psychological problems usually do not affect sexual function, no matter what complexes the jealous person did not suffer. Moreover, his sexual talents may be much higher than those of his rivals, but for some reason this does not add confidence to him.

What to do?

If (God forbid!) you realize that there is a dangerous madman next to you, run without looking back. (True, it’s somehow hard to believe that a spouse who was normal during all the previous years of their marriage could turn into a madman.)

Heart attack from jealousy

To study the reaction of higher animals to a partner’s betrayal, scientists conducted a rather cruel experiment on monkeys. The male was taken away from his female and placed in the next cage with another male. The first was forced to watch as his girlfriend shamelessly frolicked with the other before his eyes. The situation caused him such strong feelings that the poor man ended in baldness and a heart attack. In people, by the way, heart problems also often arise precisely because of jealousy. The same men who, out of excessive fear, provoke betrayal or constantly expect it, are thus, as it were, protected from a heart attack.

Children instead of lovers?

Personal opinion

Aziza

– Based on my own experience, I can say that if I happened to cheat on a person with whom I lived in a civil marriage, and I understood that it was just a whim, a whim, my own weakness, then I felt bad after that. Women by nature tend to worry about this. Although there are also cats among them that walk on their own and don’t care about it. But women who become attached to a person sooner or later come to the conclusion that betrayal is betrayal, destruction of oneself. Such a woman looks worse, ages faster, and her family has problem after problem.

I understand male nature less well. It seems to me that men, no matter how much they lament the betrayal that happened, as soon as the corresponding object appears, they are inclined to repeat it. But now, in my opinion, everyone is so busy solving their problems and making money that no one has the time or desire to do this anymore.

What to be afraid of?

Fortunately, among jealous husbands there are much more often people who are simply very complex than crazy people. But since the disease can develop gradually, it’s a good idea to know what in a person’s behavior should alert you. So, here are the danger signs:

any verbal threats (“I’ll kill you!”, etc.);
any violence in any form;
weapons preparation;
building life scenarios based on examples from fiction.

All this speaks of mental illness. Such a person is not to be joked with. There’s no way you can please him, don’t change him. He can personally arrange a date for you with someone else, and then burst into the room shouting “Gotcha!” and with an ax in his hand.

If it hasn’t reached the point of delirium yet, but jealousy is developing more and more, this is a signal to urgently contact a specialist.