A woman’s betrayal can be caused by many reasons, but, as a rule, it differs from a man’s and is practically never spontaneous. In most cases, this is caused by the actions of a man. When the betrayal is revealed, the man is faced with the question: “is it worth forgiving the girl’s betrayal?” The blog has prepared an article on this topic.
Most in this situation remain categorical and do not want to think about any forgiveness. Any questions are answered that it is easier to observe and give advice. A person is guided by his own principles and moral criteria, therefore, after separation, he acts in his own way. To make the most correct decision about whether to forgive a girl, find out the reason for the action.
- Frequent scandals and domestic conflicts become a reason to think about whether it is worth continuing the relationship;
- A banal lack of attention often becomes the cause of women's resentment. Regardless of the number of years spent together, a woman expects due attention from her beloved. Romance does not depend on gender and does not disappear over the years. Men often ignore this and later face problems;
- The banal fading of love. This sounds sad and many people go through this. A lot of books have been written on this subject, there is a lot of advice from psychologists that will help you avoid this at the beginning of a relationship and after many years spent together. Loss of feelings leads to a dead end;
- Loss of respect. Raising your voice at your partner, verbal insults are the first signs of disrespect. Don’t make excuses, but rather think about whether you allowed someone you respect to be insulted or offended? One rash word, a decision, will lower you in her eyes;
- Jealousy certainly leads to one result. If a companion is upset after learning about her rival, she may act in the most unimaginable way. In such situations, it is not common sense that wins.
One of the above reasons is most likely the culprit of infidelity and repeated betrayal. It is worth drawing conclusions so as not to encounter this terrible situation, which will inevitably lead to a breakup.
What to do: break up or forgive betrayal
The answer of numerous experts to the question: “Is it worth forgiving a girl after cheating?” ambiguous. There is no universal solution. Each situation is purely individual, and its reasons can be completely diverse. Don't follow the majority's opinion. The most important thing now is to find the reason for looking for love on the side.
The heart will tell you whether to forgive betrayal. Do a thorough analysis, find out whether the relationship lasted for a long time when it first happened. If she repented, and the betrayal happened only once, then perhaps it’s worth giving a chance, because no one is immune from mistakes. True, this is usually what men do, who are called “aleni.” The main fact here is, can you continue to live, realizing the betrayal? Forgiveness is half the battle, but forgetting everything is not easy. If you doubt that you will be able to cope with this, then maybe you shouldn’t go back, because it will only bring additional pain. You need to understand that when this happened for the first time, there are no guarantees.
What often happens is with your ex-boyfriend, here you become hostage to their past passion, which was not forgotten by them. What to do, definitely leave them alone and remember the two words “third wheel”, it definitely turned out to be you.
In case of betrayal at a distance. Here we mean greater temporary isolation from each other. This is also not an excuse. It means I wasn’t expecting you and didn’t value my feelings. Most likely she needs you as a source of income who sends money from her earnings. And in your absence, she has fun and manages your finances.
How to deal with a situation with a girl who was in a relationship also gives a clear answer that you need to dump her. She is unreliable and be glad that she is not married and has no children with her, if so, then you are lucky. This will help you avoid financial losses.
Cheating on a girl while drunk can be considered one of the most common; its whole essence is visible here. Namely, the inability to control oneself leads to fatal mistakes. Why do you need a frivolous and accessible woman who can become so if she consumes an extra 100 grams. I also put emphasis on childbearing in the presence of such a bad habit, what it can give birth to and from whom.
Men's views on whether betrayal can be forgiven vary. It’s one thing if it happened once and again, when it lasted for a long time, and the betrothed was not going to tell. Unfortunately, such relationships are doomed. You understand that this happened intentionally, which means that feelings for your lover overshadowed your relationship with you. This is a real betrayal, so think carefully about whether it is worth associating your future life with such a woman.
If flirting and affairs happen on a regular basis, then you should leave such a partner as soon as possible. Even great love cannot change the current situation. Come to terms with the idea that this is simply not your person, and boldly move on in life.
If you have made a mutual decision to keep the couple, then be sure to take a short break. This will create balance, relieve angry feelings and resentment. Don't find out the details of the affair. Reconsider the mistake of the love union and correct it if possible. Leave the past in the past!
Advice from psychologists
“A girl cheated on me, what should I do?” Guys and mature men often turn to psychologists for help with this question. Mental health experts offer the following advice:
- Calm down and come to your senses. If a girl was burned, she confessed to cheating, you need to go through this stress alone.
- Assess the prospects of the relationship. Ask yourself one question: what is better for me to live with a liar and suffer, break up and start a new clean relationship, forgive and change the behavior of my beloved? Choose the option that suits your character and life values.
- Talk to your girlfriend or spouse, discuss the decision you made. Listen to the woman’s arguments, try to understand the motive for the action: maybe you provoked the betrayal?
- Make your final decision. Understand whether there is love in the relationship, whether you can trust your partner in the future.
- Break up permanently or forgive the cheater. Promise yourself not to remember the past every time you quarrel, if you save your marriage or couple. Or leave the liar.
- Try to regain trust. If you have forgiven your spouse or friend, you need to revive the love. Let go of your fears and don't become paranoid. Start your relationship with a clean slate.
- Don't cheat in retaliation. Infidelity out of spite will not give you peace of mind, but will only make the situation worse. This is a sure path to separation.
Now you know what to do if a girl cheats. Make the decision to continue the relationship or break up with a cool head. Wait a long pause before having a serious conversation with the woman you love. This way you will definitely be confident that your action is correct.
What to do for forgiveness
Forgiving a loved one for betrayal is not easy, but if she confesses and sincerely regrets, this gives hope for continuation. You don't need to be a psychologist to be confident. The main thing is to feel regret and see it in her eyes. If during communication a girl looks away, then perhaps she is simply lying and making up excuses. Firm eye contact tells her that she cares about you. Pay attention to your emotional state. If she doesn't want to lose you, then she will cry and her pupils will be dilated. A trembling voice and wet palms are a good sign. The nervous state in such a situation continues for a long time, even when they said that they are ready to forgive. There is no test for treason, but careful analysis will help to understand further intentions.
The most humane solution is to live separately. Being alone with your thoughts will help you think and understand what happened. This time will allow you to heal mental wounds and come to terms with the fact. And most importantly, it will tell you how to behave and live on. Perhaps you will get bored, there will be an incentive to return and renew the relationship. Do not delay, as a long period of separation can play a bad joke. A few weeks of separation is enough. If during this time you haven’t felt the desire to hug or kiss her, then let it stay that way.
How to forgive if resentment and anger do not go away? The conflict will disappear when emotions subside and balance comes. This can be done by directing thoughts and actions in the right direction. A great solution is to join a gym. Regular exercise will help calm excessive emotions. It is better to choose boxing and, whenever possible, beat the bag until exhaustion. It does not hurt, and you will feel the effect of the training soon.
It is advised to change your attitude towards your partner. It often happens that the problem lies there. Excessive severity or, on the contrary, softness, could well have become the cause of the crisis. Try to feel the warmth of your partner. Remain calm and balanced in any situation, do not make hasty decisions.
If you want to find a reason that will help you forgive a girl for cheating, then think about your common future. If aspirations and dreams coincide, you are going in the same direction, then the problem is no longer so global. Talk about children, a cozy apartment, pleasant evenings in an embrace. If you see yourself together and imagine it clearly, then perhaps this is the answer.
It is important to know whether the relationship was platonic or whether there was emotional betrayal. You can come to terms with platonic betrayal, but emotional betrayal is more difficult. If a girl has feelings for someone else, then attempts to restore the relationship will fail. Emotional dependence is stronger than physical dependence.
If the desire to forgive your beloved persists, then try to find an excuse for the action. Perhaps this happened out of desperation. The main thing is for the girl to realize that she has made a huge mistake. If she repents and wants to correct the situation, then give her this opportunity. An honest confession is the first step towards forgiveness.
Is it necessary to forgive out of pity for oneself? Often guys forgive a girl out of fear of getting lost, believing that after parting, life will lose color and will never be the same. It is necessary to understand that this is self-hypnosis. These are temporary problems that you just need to get through. This has happened to many people and will continue to happen, so there is no reason to suffer.
Be sure that fate will not leave you alone. When you are ready, she will definitely set you up with the one and only.
Reasons for girls cheating
Trying to figure out why the betrayal occurred, guys often look for flaws in the girl’s upbringing or character; friends and acquaintances are a great help in this, but the truth is that two people usually contribute to the destruction of a relationship. Girls do not cheat on those with whom they are good and with whom they are happy. Naturally, it is impossible to become ideal for everyone, since different girls have different value systems and fall in love with different men, but understanding what qualities are important for your girl is necessary. When a guy is not attentive, constantly makes cruel jokes, and does not show seriousness, then the likelihood of adultery is maximum. Assess your needs, and if your companion cannot sit at home and wants to go to the mountains, then cheating will happen with the climber while you are playing the console. You can change yourself and your habits, trying to be more suitable for each other, or you can initially look for a loved one who has the same values.
A long-term romance involves the entire emotional sphere of a girl, but one-time accidental infidelities cannot be ruled out. They usually happen in situations where it is inconvenient to refuse to go on a visit, when all your friends are invited, or in a state of intoxication. When the other guy is too persistent, the girl may not resist. A casual romance can be sparked by female competition, when friends are surrounded by male attention and the girl wants to show that men also continue to be interested in her.
Girls can use cheating as revenge. If you had a serious quarrel and she left angry, then the desire to show you what you have lost can lead you into the arms of others. Restoring justice after your betrayal is seen by many not as working on relationships and strengthening them, but as a reason for your own trip to the side in order to even the scores. But quarrels do not always entail a well-thought-out betrayal out of spite; it can also happen from a strong feeling of resentment. So, in situations where you have greatly offended a girl, hurt her, she may need support, and if there is another guy nearby who surrounds her with care, then, in contrast to your behavior, the girl may fleetingly fall in love. In addition, many quarrels can resemble breakups, and sometimes these words are spoken - in such situations, the girl may not even consider herself guilty, otherwise there would be no point in voicing the fact of the breakup. The speed of finding the other guy in this case is easily explained by the many friends who are just waiting for your puncture and are always ready to lend their shoulder.
A long relationship with your girlfriend and her betrayal indicate a lack of attention or warmth, perhaps conversations on intimate topics or intimacy itself. Remember when you gave compliments or treated someone beautifully. Most female infidelities happen when there is no opportunity to obtain important psychological moments in an official relationship, while the material side and the cost of gifts do not matter.
Don't change in response
Of course, to forgive a girl’s betrayal, you need to be a strong person. This indicates that a person can do much more for the sake of his beloved. Girls should grab such a man with their hands and never let go.
Guys often flirt and do rash things. I start to abuse alcohol and often visit nightclubs to pick up a girl for the evening. Such revenge is simply unacceptable!
This type of revenge will completely and forever destroy the relationship. Responding to betrayal with betrayal will demonstrate that you no longer have anything in common. The person hurt you, but don’t stoop to his level, act differently. If you are not going to forgive, then break off the relationship and do whatever you want.
If a girl cheated on you, then DON’T: 5 stupid mistakes that don’t suit a real macho
If such trouble has happened that the girl you love has cheated, remember that the worst thing you can do in this situation is:
- create a scandal comparable in scope to the Battle of the Ice.
Hey, man, you are a man, not a high-society girl in a hysterical fit;
- asking, like a Gestapo officer from a partisan, why exactly the girl cheated on you.
And what will this change if the fact remains a fact? Do you want to heal your wound once again? Do you want sadomaso?
- run after her shouting: “Come back, I will forgive everything!”
How to forgive betrayal?
Even if the girl had such a thought, then after she sees you as a weak-willed slug, you will probably lose her;
- think about soap and rope, pills and other suicidal nonsense, get drunk “to death.”
Seriously? That is, you think that out of the remaining 3 billion women, no one is suitable for you, and therefore life loses all meaning? Come on…
- make your motto “I will take revenge and revenge will be terrible!”
Maintain your self-respect and don’t even think about spreading gossip about a girl, setting her up at work, and even more so – assault in a dark alley and love spells.
All this is not a man’s business, oh, not a man’s thing...
Cheating on the girl you love. Is it necessary and possible to forgive?
Signs of female infidelity. Life after betrayal.
Don't pay attention to the opinions of others
What will people think when I find out that the guy has forgiven the girl? People's opinions vary and many are highly dependent on it. Someone will say that he is a saint for doing this, someone will condemn him and call him a rag. There is no way to avoid this. There is only one way out - not to pay attention.
Your life concerns only you! Everyone has a lot of problems, so let them better deal with them. To prevent others from having reasons for gossip, do not wash dirty linen in public. If you change, don't complain to everyone you meet. Let your problems remain yours, they are of no interest to anyone. People love to gossip about someone, but they are unlikely to offer help. Immediately stop any gossip or unpleasant expressions addressed to you.
Hold on until the end
While the girl is free and gives you a chance to improve, hold on until the end. Do whatever is required of you to prove your love and fidelity to her. Show great patience, do not demand understanding and forgiveness from yourself. It can take a very long time for a girl to really trust you. Everything will depend only on your actions, which prove your loyalty.
But if a girl goes out, dates other guys, constantly ignores you and doesn’t give you a chance to restore the relationship, then perhaps everything is completely ruined. You can try to get her back, but don't humiliate yourself for too long.
I want to save our relationship, but she wants to leave
If after cheating a girl is going to break up, then the matter is in her selfishness. Even if she says that this is for your sake and that it will be worse for you with her, don’t believe it. You need to understand - does she simply not realize that she is acting selfishly or is she doing it on purpose? Is she doing this because she's so afraid of hurting you again that she's ready to let you go, or because she doesn't want to stay?
If she is going to leave because she sincerely believes that she is worse off with you, then calmly talk to her and explain everything, give her your support so that she feels that you need her. And if it’s because of selfishness, then is it really worth keeping her?
The best cure for female infidelity is prevention
To avoid cheating in the future, you need to constantly work on your relationship. Remember that their main enemy is routine . It is enough to follow simple recommendations to create variety.
Regular varied sex
In bed you can't think only about yourself. Find out what your partner likes. There is no need to be shy: a serious relationship requires mutual trust. To liberate her, start with your fantasies.
Try new positions, arrange a sex excursion around the summer city, go with her to a sex shop, try it out, arrange sex via SMS or Skype. There are many options, it all depends on your imagination. You yourself will discover a new quality of sexual life.
Signs of attention
- Compliments. To make a girl feel desired, do not forget to regularly remind her of this. Write her compliments via SMS, notes.
A list of the most original compliments to a girl’s beauty can be found at the link.
Surprises. Give her unusual dates and surprises. Go karting, arrange a quest for her, visit theaters and cinema.
How to give a girl an original surprise without money is written in this article.
Options for the most original places for a date are here.
Present. Give gifts and flowers not only on holidays.
Go on a trip to the sea together, fly to Murmansk in winter and look at the northern lights. Spending time together brings both partners closer.
Do not rush to become despondent if your girlfriend cheated on you. Look at it from the other side: You gained experience, albeit unpleasant, and realized your mistakes.
Try turning the page and start enjoying freedom or finding a new darling. And forget your defeats, there are still many victories ahead. Good luck to you!
You decided to save the relationship
First, understand that since you stayed with her, you need to forgive her. Don’t just say that you have forgiven, but make sure that you don’t take out all the negative feelings caused in you by the betrayal on the girl. Don't take revenge on her. After that, give her support. Let the girl know that you love her and believe in her.
The next step is to build trust. Of course, you can put this burden on her shoulders, but it will be better if you also think and help her restore trust with advice. You will also need to give adequate feedback so that the girl can understand whether she is doing the right thing.
Well, then the most interesting thing is that you will need to correct your behavior. Yes, yes, you need to figure out why you gave her the idea of cheating, so as not to repeat this again. There can be many reasons, but since we have already listed the most common ones, let’s build on them.
Well, the last thing you have to do is be patient. Change is not a quick process, and it is difficult. Moreover, you both have to change.
You decided to leave
First, before you leave, discuss everything with her again. If you don't change your mind after this, then leave. At the same time, do not give false hopes, and also do not try to remain friends if this does not work out (and after this it is difficult to be friends). At the same time, know that after some time you may feel the desire to return everything. Don't give in to him.
And now, when you said goodbye, the most important moment comes. Time to figure yourself out. If you had real feelings for her, then betrayal may be deep inside. And if you don’t solve the problem as quickly as possible, it will interfere with your life and build new relationships.
First, understand how you feel and how exactly the betrayal affected you. After this, you need to realize that you can continue to live and believe in people after this. And at the same time, figure out what is your fault in what happened, so that next time you don’t allow this to happen.
