How to forgive a girl for cheating: is it worth forgetting the betrayal?

Your girlfriend cheated on you, and negative emotions immediately came flooding back? It is not surprising, and you are already ready to commit many inappropriate, but fair actions on your part - from a fist fight with a competitor to the shameful expulsion of her from your life. However, many wrong steps are taken precisely at such moments when you are controlled not by cold reason, but by strong emotions.

Therefore, the question of whether it is worth forgiving betrayal may not even occur to you. But after a while you might think about it. In this article, I will tell you about whether it is possible to forgive a girl’s betrayal, and when you should definitely not do this. Naturally, you should start this whole conversation only if you are not in a polygamous or open relationship.

What is female infidelity

There is an established opinion that sexual intercourse between two people is considered a fact of treason if at least one was in a relationship with another partner. However, in such a situation it is not customary to take into account experience, the time of meetings and their strength, so it is worth distinguishing between the types of betrayal.

A girl can betray physically or mentally. The first type is sex, a kiss or other contact with a young man with whom the lady is not in an official relationship. This happens in the office with a colleague, an old acquaintance or a new friend. The reason is a boring relationship, lack of attention or routine. In this case, there will be witnesses or facts that will confirm what happened. Therefore, it is easy to notice that your partner has cheated if you are observant.

READ How to survive your husband's betrayal and save your family: advice from a psychologist

The second type of betrayal is more difficult to prove. If a woman is not ready for physical interaction, but her life together and relationship with her current boyfriend is either boring or has reached a dead end, there will be a man who will be more insightful and attentive, and will win sympathy. In this case, correspondence and calls with explicit content will be part of life. Of course, a wise girl will remove traces in time, but such betrayal is much more difficult to forgive, because the unity of bodies and souls that has disappeared between partners is the starting point, the beginning of the end.

Speaking about female infidelity, it is worth clarifying what kind of character she has. If it comes to physiological attraction, it is possible to correct the situation. But the moral rejection of a partner will certainly be the final episode of the relationship.

Cheating after forgiveness: lack of punishment and conditions

Those men who accepted a woman after cheating on them were cheated on again. In most cases, this is due to the fact that the very acceptance of a woman occurs without strict conditions. Let’s take the position of a strong man, and let’s assume that he decided to return the woman (for some of his personal reasons) after betrayal in order to continue the relationship with her for the sake of, for example, preserving the family, maybe for the sake of the children.

This is not very cool, yes, but let’s say such a scenario. In this case, it is very important for the man to set his most severe conditions, and “with three skins” to ask this woman for treason. And only then can you accept it.

Signs of a woman's betrayal

To catch a woman's infidelity, look and mentally note how many of the points listed below apply.

If there is a match of four or more, this is a reason to suspect infidelity:

Alienation or lack of joint conversations and discussions. Women cool down morally faster, and only then physically. If until now your wife shared events, but now she is silent, think about it. She either has problems that she wants to hide, or a new affair on the side.
A woman does not listen and does not remember her partner’s words. It seems that her thoughts are far away. Of course, if this has happened before, do not focus on this detail.
Encouraging separate holidays and weekends. My wife did not approve of overnight fishing, but now she is concerned about why trips are so rare? This is a clear sign that they want to quickly kick you out of the house.
Increased interest, which was not there a month ago, in the work schedule. Your wife is interested in an almost minute-by-minute schedule of your affairs, while simultaneously trying to remember every little detail.
Constant irritation and dissatisfaction with any manifestations. To test this, present the girl with a bouquet. If she accepts it with genuine joy, then the signs noticed are fatigue and irritation. If she has difficulty putting on a smile, this is a sign that the wife is attracted to another guy.
Change of smell that occurred during the day. In the morning, a delicate perfume applied to the skin smelled of roses and violets, and in the evening a woman smells of men's deodorant - this is a sign that demonstrates betrayal.
In the company of colleagues and friends of your wife, conversations in front of you become awkward and distant.
Attempts to look into the woman’s phone or laptop fail. It turns out that access to them is protected by a password that only she knows.
The wife provokes quarrels and tries to leave the house after a scandal, turning off the phone and returning in the morning.
Interest in one's own appearance and changes in hairstyle, clothing and style noticeable to a man. Women tend to make drastic changes at critical times to relieve stress.

Each of the points individually has a justification, but a combination of at least four suggests too strange behavior and possible betrayal. But don’t rush things, try to find reliable evidence to understand for sure whether to suspect treason.

Signs of a girl cheating

An obvious type of betrayal is quite rare, but it is very dramatic and vividly illustrated in books and films. In life, they usually try to hide the presence of a second relationship and avoid drama, so it is worth paying special attention to various signs indicating betrayal.

Usually, cheating does not occur under the influence of mood or company, as happens in the case of men. This is a long process of the beginning of a second relationship and signs of this can be noticed even before the immediate fact of betrayal, as well as when the romance has already begun.

A sign indicating a lack of trust and the presence of a second hidden life is the closedness of the girl’s personal space. If passwords appeared on her laptop and phone, social network pages were closed, and she began to take her mobile phone with her even to the toilet - then obviously there is information there that the guy does not need to know. Such secrecy is worthy of attention only if it appears after a period of openness when you could calmly check your mail using her gadgets. Otherwise, it indicates an unsettled trust in you, more than a betrayal.

How to determine if a girl is cheating? As an additional experiment, try to take her phone number yourself, in front of the girl - if you hear many baseless claims, or get too strong an inadequate reaction, then this is a reason to be wary. Changes accompany all significant moments in the lives of girls, and especially changes. They celebrate a promotion with a new dress and change their hairstyle to get out of depression. If the scrupulousness in choosing clothes and makeup is reminiscent of the period at the beginning of your relationship, and the habit of getting ready quickly and comfortably has again been replaced by careful selection of the image, then most likely she wants to please someone else. The exception is when there is a visible reason to change your appearance (a desire to lose weight, a remark from a colleague, unexpected damage to an old wardrobe, etc.) or these are the consequences of a completed marathon or training.

The emergence of new friends, girlfriends, companies that are not introduced to. This also includes overnight stays with girlfriends whom the guy knows well personally. Such events serve as a cover for real pastime, especially if the girl forbids taking her from there, does not tell her the address and does not show photographs.

Watch where her time, attention, energy and emotional experiences go. If earlier she strived to improve the comfort in the house, wanted to get out early, monitored the topics of your interests or plan joint leisure, but now she has abandoned all this - this is not a comforting sign. When you add constant virtual communication, nightly messages or a mysterious smile at the screen, indifference to what you are doing and late returns - everything goes towards the end of your relationship, even if the fact of betrayal has not yet occurred.

It is also possible to change attitudes at the emotional level, and in extreme manifestations this is a feature that excludes harmony and diversity of reactions. Not only coldness, but also excessive, causeless affection can be manifestations of betrayal. Then the girl becomes constantly happy and caring, forgiving mistakes, trying to atone for her guilt and overacting in portraying a good relationship. In the second option, constant dissatisfaction, reproaches, and irritability will appear. It is quite possible to have complaints about those things that the guy does as usual (telling him how to get through the lane or that you made the wrong coffee). These bells indicate a loss of interest and respect; this level of dissatisfaction with the relationship leads to a break, even if there is no fact of betrayal.

A clear indicator is physical detachment, and this applies not only to intimacy. Many women, trying to avoid exposure, try very hard and please in intimacy, but they can dodge a kiss, instinctively withdraw their hand, and not touch during the day. Minimizing physical contact with an unpleasant person and showing rejection on an instinctive level cannot be controlled.

Showing indifference is the point of no return. Many guys are at first happy that the girl has stopped expressing dissatisfaction and demanding more attention, but in reality, such indifference is an indicator that the guy has become indifferent to her, and she is receiving the necessary care elsewhere.

Is it possible to forgive a girl's betrayal?

The question of whether it is possible to forgive the betrayal of a beloved girl is asked by guys who have learned about the fact of betrayal. However, first you need to understand the situation.

The details of the event will tell you how promising the relationship is and how high the chances are for the return of old feelings:

READ How to behave if your husband has a mistress

Casual sex that happened once. 65% of couples face a similar situation. At the same time, the woman herself reports the fact of betrayal and assures that she sincerely repents. This option is promising in terms of continuing the relationship. If a lady asks for forgiveness, and has not previously been seen in disparaging behavior, wait a week or two so that emotions have time to cool down and talk frankly. Tell us about your overwhelming feelings, the power of love and the unacceptability of such actions. If after the conversation you realize that you are not ready to break up, forgiveness will be easy and quick.
Repeated sexual intercourse with another man. Friends talk about it or the betrayal is revealed by accident. Every third couple experiences such a test. The girl’s behavior, unwillingness to repent or talk about an affair on the side speaks for itself. She does not need forgiveness and continuation of the relationship, she made a choice in favor of another guy. The main thing here is not to lose your dignity and resolve the situation without losing self-respect. Receive the information calmly, calmly collect the necessary things and immediately leave or separate. The union has no prospects for development.
Cheating in the form of correspondence and promises of future physical contact. Only 2% of young people manage to find traces of this type of betrayal. Talk to the girl and find out the reason for this behavior. If you doubt the continuation of the relationship, make a table. In the left column, list specific situations in which your partner helped, supported or inspired, in the right - the opposite cases. It's worth starting with the negative aspects. This will allow you to remain objective and at the same time remember the pleasant little things that united you. The probability of reconciliation and forgiveness of betrayal is more than 75%.

Emotional insufficiency: one of the main reasons

In my circle, there are wives who cheat on their husbands. At the same time, there are children and visually (in photographs on Instagram) this is a happy family, but there are betrayals. I communicate with these girls and women, I asked - well, why are you cheating?

Basically, it's emotions. They like that there is a permanent man, they also have sex with their husband, and they have sex on the side. These are the strongest emotions on which they depend, and without them life is already boring and uninteresting. And if we talk about forgiveness of betrayal, then there is such a fact - again, I claim based on my work with such situations and on the stories of different people.

How to forgive a woman's infidelity

Forgiveness is a voluntary act that comes from the best intentions.

The solution is not always easy, but there are ways to get over a girl’s betrayal more easily:

Weather the emotional storm. Whatever the guy’s temperament, the news of betrayal will make him nervous and express aggression. Depending on the nature, strength of feelings and duration of the relationship, the reaction can last from one day to a month. During this time, do not contact the girl, avoid meetings and conversations that you will regret. After accepting the betrayal, set up a date and discuss possible continuation scenarios.
During isolation, engage in active sports - it will distract you. You can try to change the situation. But refrain from drinking alcohol, as it will awaken subsiding anger and push you to rash actions.
Share your experiences with a friend, ask for advice from people who have found themselves in similar situations. Try to find out how possible a relationship is after betrayal.
Don't make hasty decisions. Separation or reconciliation will be tolerated, but if constant doubts and changes in decisions begin, both will suffer. The girl will understand the instability of the situation and the lack of a clear position, which will lead to new problems. First, weigh all the arguments so as not to doubt yourself.

Regardless of the final decision to forgive or end the relationship, remember that the responsibility lies with the man, as he decides whether to accept the fact of betrayal.

Green serpent i

What is the most common reason for infidelity? Lack of self-control. And most often this happens when a lady simply overdoes it with alcohol and frivolously falls into the arms of the first unfamiliar guy. Sometimes such unlucky women don’t even remember what happened and how they ended up in someone else’s bed. In fact, the only complaint against such a girl is the lack of attentiveness and instinct of self-preservation.

After all, this is exactly what unprincipled men can take advantage of. In this case, if the girl repents, and she herself did not hang herself on anyone’s neck, then she fully deserves forgiveness. The most important thing is to make her promise that she will no longer get drunk in the company of strangers. And then such an episode may never happen again.

How to behave after the incident

Young people who decide to forgive an offense and continue dating make characteristic mistakes that reduce the chances of a full-fledged relationship to zero:

mention of what happened in the form of reproach, jokes, praise of one’s own resourcefulness;
aggressive mistrust, manifested in assault;
scandals and hysterics of a man expressing doubts about whether the incident that occurred was the only one or will not happen again;
an obsessive desire not to leave the girl unattended for even a minute.

READ My husband found out about my betrayal: how to find a way out of a difficult situation

Betrayal has changed the relationship, but forgiveness is intended to smooth out possible conflicts due to the ability to forget about what happened. To better visualize this, try to think about the woman's previous partners, because when the relationship began, it was normal to perceive the fact that they had one - everyone has a past. Try to transfer this situation into the category of something that happened before the current feelings appeared.

If you can’t do this, then don’t torture yourself and the girl and honestly admit the impossibility of forgetting and forgiving. Relationships with a loved one who once betrayed you can collapse. By committing such an act, the girl should have understood the consequences, so don’t blame yourself. Let me leave without quarreling and shouting. The experience gained by both will help you better understand yourself and your feelings, realize the unacceptable behavior and prevent misconduct in the future.

Is it necessary to accept a woman for the sake of a previous relationship?

But not every man is capable of this, because the woman still remains so wonderful, idealized even after betrayal. Unfortunately for most men. Strict conditions are very important, but here a woman may not agree to them, but a man does not need such a thing.

Men, have value, there is no need to try to accept a woman for the sake of maintaining a relationship, especially for the sake of children. Children should live in a normal, full-fledged, happy family, where there is no betrayal. So that for them this does not become an example to follow, so that for them it does not become some kind of norm, that people cheat on each other and then live together.

Why you can't forgive a girl's infidelity

The guy must decide whether to forgive the betrayal that happened on his own. But five signs that a girl does not need a relationship will tell her that a pardon will not please her:

Treason happened repeatedly before the famous incident.
The duration of the relationship with your lover exceeds one week.
The girl does not express thoughts of regret, does not look for opportunities to justify herself.
We heard from mutual friends about the girl’s wild behavior after a quarrel.
The lover's previous relationships ended the same way.

Any of the signs will show that the lady is not interested in continuing meetings. If the feelings are overwhelming and the desire to return is indomitable, restrain yourself from impulsive action or be prepared to repeat the situation many times.

What to do if a girl cheated - to forgive or not

Men often justify their adventures by referring to natural polygamy.
According to statistics, 75% of men and 25% of women cheat in legal relationships. However, if girls subconsciously understand that men cheat more often and you need to be prepared for this, no matter how strong the love, for guys women’s adventures “to the left” often become a revelation.

What to do if a girl cheats on you?

Why can you forgive your wife for cheating?

There are no more ways to forgive the betrayal of a girl who has become a wife than there are methods for forgiving a woman who does not have the official status of a wife. However, the stamp adds additional complications to the separation in the form of paperwork. In addition, if the couple managed to acquire children and common property, the process will drag on indefinitely, even if both agree to divorce. The first reason to forgive your wife is time. While the divorce process lasts, emotions subside, and the woman’s sincere repentance gives confidence that the family can be saved.

The second reason for a wife’s forgiveness is a credit of trust. When a relationship lasts a year or two, it is impossible to earn it. But five or six years of living together gives an understanding that this woman really loves and knows how to care, so betrayal, although it undermines the relationship, does not destroy it. In addition, the baggage of accumulated emotions, pleasant little things and memories will help you overcome resentment and love your spouse with renewed vigor.

Why did the girl cheat on her boyfriend: options for further restoration of the relationship

When it comes to cheating, it is most often assumed that it is the man who is unfaithful. But girls also quite often admit to cheating on their man, and the reasons for such behavior can be very different. Most representatives of the fair sex repent of their actions, and some cannot even explain why they did this. Especially if the betrayal was with her man’s friend, which is considered a double betrayal.

To figure out what to do if a girl cheated on her boyfriend, whether true love can forgive such an act, it’s worth finding out why this happens. And although not all reasons can justify such behavior, the development of the situation depends on the girl’s intentions and her readiness to restore the relationship.

Although there are women who do not admit to their infidelity and continue to behave as if nothing happened.

How to forgive your wife for cheating: advice from a psychologist

Situations that happen in life present unpleasant surprises. Sometimes it turns out that the beloved wife committed betrayal either before marriage or after the ceremonial exchange of rings. Forgiving a girl who has become a wife for cheating is no easier, because the stamp in the passport aggravates the responsibility for what happened. However, three tips from a psychologist who advocates saving the marriage will help in psychological reconfiguration. If you want to save the relationship and not file for divorce, use these recommendations:

Mentally transfer the event to the past that happened before your appearance. Even if the betrayal happened yesterday, imagine that the fact of acquaintance was only today.
Try to justify the cheater and find reasons in your own behavior and attitude towards your beloved - lack of attention, sex, courtship and romance.
Awaken your memory of moments of spiritual intimacy: remember the periods when it was good, the relationship was at the stage of courtship. Try to repeat the actions and revive the feelings.

If attempts do not bring success, and aggression and the desire to harm your partner worsen, try to separate and live separately. Perhaps everyday problems will both distract and show how caring and attentive the wife is. If after a month you don’t want to return, accept the fact of the final separation and file for divorce. Remember that betrayal is a valid reason even for terminating a wedding, so don’t blame yourself. The couple decides on their own whether to forgive the betrayal that occurred in a relationship, taking into account the strength of feelings, the desire to continue and the ability to do this without mutual reproaches. The main thing is to focus on sensations and not do hasty actions.

Don't pay attention to the opinions of others

What will people think when I find out that the guy has forgiven the girl? People's opinions vary and many are highly dependent on it. Someone will say that he is a saint for doing this, someone will condemn him and call him a rag. There is no way to avoid this. There is only one way out - not to pay attention.

Your life concerns only you! Everyone has a lot of problems, so let them better deal with them. To prevent others from having reasons for gossip, do not wash dirty linen in public. If you change, don't complain to everyone you meet. Let your problems remain yours, they are of no interest to anyone. People love to gossip about someone, but they are unlikely to offer help. Immediately stop any gossip or unpleasant expressions addressed to you.

What do men think about?

The news of a wife's betrayal is a terrible blow to a man's pride. He was betrayed, trampled, humiliated. Therefore, he needs time to comprehend the situation. It is better to leave him alone for a while, because a showdown during this period will not lead to any results.

After the first emotions have subsided, negotiations can begin. This is the right time for the husband to speak and the wife to listen. Yes, she will hear a lot of unpleasant things addressed to her, but then she will find out how her husband really feels and what her betrayal means to him. And during this dialogue it will become clear whether there is any hope of saving the marriage.